Lana knew that it would take time and effort to convince the members of the Alliance to unite with Vaylin, even for a single battle, but they ended up being far more responsive than she predicted. Perhaps after seeing the chaos and destruction that Jadus brought to Zakuul, the realization finally dawned upon them. Survival instinct always trumped any other form of desire, and this time was no exception. Of course, if they were to succeed, the old feuds would quickly resurface, and the Alliance would be consumed by those once again…Lana knew it would fall upon her to clean the mess up. It all became rather tiring.
All that mattered now was the coming strike at Iokath. The Seeker outlined potential strategies, and the team had to utilize as many as possible. Jadus made sure Iokath is as fortified as possible, but no fortress was impenetrable, Lana learned that much when saving Cassian from his prison on Zakuul. Now she had to ensure that everyone had a part to play. However, when Lana found herself consumed by her thoughts, someone approached her.
"Are you alright?" Vajra's concerned voice echoed from behind. She looked around and saw the Jedi master staring at her with concern.
"As alright as I can be a few hours away from the firing of yet another doomsday device."
"I mean, the battle we just had. You were almost wounded, possibly killed…"
"Please, if I let every near-death situation get to me I would've been feeding Kor'slugs on Korriban."
"Doesn't mean you shouldn't take breaks from time to time," Jedi said, finally making Lana breathe in relief. His intentions were genuine; she could sense as much from his voice. The prospect of taking a break was appealing, but she couldn't afford it.
"I will…After we've sorted out this mess." Lana looked back at her outline.
"Let's hope we get to live this far…" Vajra said grimly. "Do we have plans for who goes where during the battle? I would like to join the main division."
"Agreed, you'd be most useful on the surface." Lana nodded. "Theron, Jacques, and I will lead the forces that descend to Iokath and fly past the blockade on escape pods, Seeker's spies are working on creating a suitable corridor for us. Aric Jorgan will lead a Republic-aligned squad from the fleet, while Lieutenant Pierce will command a fraction of Xarion's forces that will descend."
"And I will be there, too."
"Our task will be to destroy the Iokath systems and stop the Void Hammer from firing at any cost, hopefully eliminating Jadus in the process. Now, there's also a matter of the Star Cabal ships…Seeker believes that if we hijack the capital ship and take Cantor hostage, the rest will be less willing to unleash Jadus's chain reaction. Even if the Void Hammer fires, it won't reach any of its targets without Cabal's fleet. Seeker himself will lead the squad, and some of our Alliance members volunteered to join him."
"And what about the wildcard?" Vajra wondered. "Isn't it too early to begin the assault until we know how successful her ritual is?"
"I'm afraid we have no choice, Jadus will fire the moment the weapon is properly charged, and the process is already set in motion. Vaylin and Cassian are en route to Nathema, they'll rejoin us when they make an attempt, with or without new powers."
"I see…"
"We'll be in good company. Broonmark, Raina, Lokin, Vette, all would fight by our side, with or without Vaylin."
"Still, they don't possess the kind of power she has. What would be her role in all this?"
"Vaylin will cause as much chaos and upheaval as she can. Her strength must be enough to throw most of Jadus's forces into disarray. Cassian, meanwhile, would reunite with Jac and make use of whatever pathway she would create. A pathway that will lead directly to Jadus, where they can force him to shut down this hellish machine. You can join them if you want."
"Depends on where I'll be needed; the battle on the surface will get just as chaotic."
"With all due respect, you don't need to defend Theron, I think he's capable of that himself."
"It's not just Theron I'm defending…Everyone who is brave enough to fight today deserves someone covering their back."
"Can't cover everyone, you know that?"
"I do…But I always tried nonetheless."
Very Jedi-like of him, Lana shouldn't have been surprised, but there was something charming about this selfless dedication of his. Lana even found it comforting, to an extent…No matter what comes next, she would be glad to have him fight among the warriors of the Alliance. After all, if Vaylin's plan fails…They needed any hope they could get.
…
Somehow, Vaylin always knew that it was her destiny to set foot on Nathema again. As much as she despised it, her life has been tied to this planet. This barren, grotesque, monstrous world that she never truly escaped, not forever. Its taint and corrosion remained with Vaylin throughout her life, emerging suddenly and unpredictably, making her freeze and shake in utter terror. Made her remember that underneath her facade of apathy, vice, and control, she was what Valkorion, Jadus, and Jarak all considered her to be.
Weak of mind.
One step. Another.
Vaylin traversed the ashen wasteland of Nathema, wondering if there was a way to fix her issue. Now that she was back, she could expose herself to its horrors and despair. Walk across the Sanitarium's ruins and see the charred bodies of keepers and zealots, maybe even Jarak himself. After all, there was nothing left to fear…All those demons were long gone, just like her father was. She saw the Sanitarium's charred remains in the distance…Perhaps she should've walked right through what was once its doors and drowned herself in its void. It was either that or admitting that she was scared of phantoms.
She must brace herself, face her demons, and defeat them, just like she did in reality…It couldn't be harder to do in her own mind, right? It couldn't have been…
Vaylin heard a playful giggle echo from behind her, making the woman shiver and turn around, holding her hands close to her chest. She saw a young girl who was not unlike herself standing amidst the ashen lands. She had no hair, the rags she wore barely qualified for clothes, and her body was so withered Vaylin could see her bones. But the eyes were the most striking part. Those dark yellow eyes stared into Vaylin's with a gaze of judgment and disgust, a gaze of someone betrayed and hurt over and over. Someone taught that her susceptibility was her weakness, the image of her past self.
"H-hello…" Vaylin reached out to the girl, wondering what kind of phantom or hallucination she could've been. "Are you alright?" This sounded stupid, yet those were the only words Vaylin could force out of herself.
"You would've gone with her." The girl said quietly, yet her voice conveyed the depths of her hatred.
"W-what are you…"
"You would've been weak. You are weak." The girl shook her head.
"I can help you, just…"
"Kneel before the dragon of Zakuul."
"AAARGH!" Vaylin shouted as she felt the blazing pain spread through all of her limbs, forcing her to fall to the ground in agony. Now, she was on her knees, shaking and overshadowed by the merciless girl above her.
"See, you're weak. You still kneel even when you don't have to. You're just used to it."
"Please…"
"Kneel before the dragon of Zakuul!"
"NOAAARGH!" Vaylin screeched like a wounded beast again, desperately trying to reach out to the girl. The pain became stronger, even exceeding the pain she felt when Valkorion or Cassian used this phrase before. It felt as if a thousand of Jarak's needles pierced her soft skin and poisoned her very essence, making it more painful with every second. Pure, unbearable agony…
"Kneel before…"
"PLEASE!"
"…the dragon of Zakuul."
When Vaylin opened her eyes, she was in her bed on the ship, the same room she rested in before, shaking and hyperventilating as cold sweat dripped from her body. Vaylin hugged herself, trying to keep at least some of the warmth, yet it ended up feeling hollow and utterly pointless. She reached out for the bottle of water standing nearby, but her hand moved far too slowly. She could barely control herself, as if her body still submitted to this unspoken command.
Kneel before the dragon of Zakuul.
When those words echoed in Vaylin's head, she lost control once again. The woman fell off the bed's edge, collapsing on the floor and stretching out in a position that no one in their right mind would call comfortable. She could only move one limb at a time, it felt as if her coordination was completely ruined and broken. She was powerless, broken, and scared, just like when lying in a circle of chanting zealots, praying for it to be over, one way or another. Such a long path…And all for nothing.
Vaylin could've screamed, yet this time she felt no desire to. It was pointless; all this rage, all this spite towards people who are long gone, would not grant her anything. It won't change anything…There is nothing that could change it.
Vaylin wasn't sure when exactly she began to cry, but by the point the doors opened, her face was already drenched with them. Cassian was here, watching and overshadowing her just like the girl from Vaylin's dream…But his gaze was full of compassion and sorrow. The cycle repeated itself, her lying here, scared and weak, hating herself for showing those pathetic feelings. And here she was, once again feeling at ease in Cassian's arms as he played with her hair and allowed Vaylin to bury her face, to look away from the cruelty of the outside world. And when she looked into the Chiss's face, she saw that his crimson eyes were drenched in tears, as well.
"I'm sorry…" Vaylin whispered.
"Hey, don't say that," Cassian responded as a faint smile emerged on his face. "You have nothing to apologize for…Remember what I said? I want to be at your side, I chose it, and I have no regrets."
"Thank you…Thank you!" Vaylin hugged Cassian even tighter, finally restoring the rate of her breath. They were alone here, and Vaylin was far more comfortable expressing her emotions with him.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"Yeah…"
"If you want to talk about it, I'm here."
"It's fine, really, it's just…" Vaylin stuttered before closing her eyes in an attempt to hold back a new array of tears. "I'm tired. I…When they released me from Nathema, I thought it would get better. And then when Valkorion died, I thought so, as well…And when Senya died, and when Valkorion died again, and when I returned, and when you helped me, when…But it just doesn't get better!" Vaylin clenched her teeth and let out a heart-wrenching scream. "I'm tired, Cas…I…I can't do it anymore; every time I take it, it's alright, I…I start thinking about it again, hearing things again and…"
"I'm sorry, if…If I could cure it, I wouldn't hesitate. I wish it were that simple…"
"I want it all to stop!" Vaylin screamed once again. "I…Cas, I…" Even saying those words felt like betraying everything she ever thought of herself, admitting her weakness to every person who hurt and abused her before, even to her own subconsciousness. "Please, help me. I know you're not a psychologist or anything, but…Please…I can't take it anymore; I don't want to be hurt every day, don't want to fight with my mind, and I…I…"
"It's alright," Cassian reassured her. "I promise I will help. I will do everything I can, everything in my power, to make it bearable for you. And if I can't do something, I'll find someone who can, but I will never give up. I…" A few more tears fell off Cassian's eyes. "I swear, I'll always help you in any way I can. You're safe with me."
Those words made Vaylin's heart skip a beat. Even after all this, after every time she fell down and relapsed, there was still hope. It wasn't over just yet.
"I…" Vaylin looked up. "I love you…I love you, I…I love you! I love you!" Repeating those words again and again, as if her stopping would force the entire world around her to crumble to ash. Or perhaps saying them was simply satisfying, just like it was to admit to the truth. There was a promise of a better life for her, and she would take it.
"I love you, too."
All she had to do before reaching out towards freedom was to challenge fate one last time.
Nathema awaited.