Resolve reflected in Ahsoka's gaze was the last thing Fives saw before she flexed her final finger.
Ahsoka lunged forward and stabbed the glass shard hard into the Arkanian's calf. His shout echoed as Fives withdrew his blaster, firing a shot that struck the man's shoulder just as he pulled the trigger, skewing his aim. Fives didn't see where the Offshoot's bolt landed but he saw Ahsoka collapse to the ground. Quickly, Fives fired another bolt, knocking the gun from the man's hand before switching his blaster to stun, sending the man sprawling to the floor. The Arkanian's body hit the ground with a glassy crunch, but Fives didn't waste a second on him.
"Ahsoka!" Fives shouted, dropping to his knees in front of her, praying that she was still alive. Her face was on the ground but he noticed how her arms trembled in an effort to push herself up. He helped her sit, one hand on her shoulder while the other gently cupped her face, searching for the wound from the stray blaster bolt. "Ahsoka, are you alright? Where are you hurt?"
"Fives, I'm fine," she breathed weakly. Fives quickly reached for a knife from his pocket and, careful not to hurt her, cut the cuffs in half. His heart ached at the sight of her shaking hands. Her wrists had burns from the electroshocks and her palms glistened from the oozing blood and shards of glass that had embedded themselves into her skin. "Fives," Ahsoka said firmly. "My lightsabers."
"I got it," he promised. "Just don't move." He walked over to the Arkanian, made sure he wouldn't wake up anytime soon, and pulled the sabers from his belt. Fives made a call for long overdue backup but ended it in haste as he saw Ahsoka climbing to her feet. "I thought I told you not to move," he rebuked, more terrified than angry.
"You say many things," she retorted wearily but didn't oppose when, after clipping the lightsabers to her belt, he placed a secure hand on her back to keep her steady. Ahsoka held her hands high to cease the bleeding but that didn't stop the trembling that overtook her palms.
"I really hate your plans," Fives murmured, his body still tense, not yet fully accepting that Ahsoka was safe now. "You know that, right?"
"You might've mentioned it before."
The engine noise reached them before the gunships' beams of light illuminated them like the main cast of a play. But instead of applause after the fine show, they waited for rescue, as if they had forgotten the last page of the script. As the ships touched down, the gusts they created made Ahsoka stumble, causing her to lean further into Fives' chest.
The doors opened and the troopers spilled out, scattering over the area. White-red armoured soldiers reached the fallen Arkanian first, shackling him and dragging his unconscious body to the shuttle. The figure striding towards them had familiar blue markings on his plates.
"What the kriff happened to you two?" Rex asked, removing his helmet.
"Tell me you have a medic on one of those ships," Fives said, deciding the Captain could wait for the full account.
"I do," Rex's brow furrowed as he eyed Ahsoka's injuries. "Though I hoped he wouldn't have that much to do."
"'m fine, Rex. I can wait till we're back at—" Ahsoka began but the looks on the men's faces made her realise it was futile to say anything else.
Matching Ahsoka's slow stride, they walked her to the gunship. Fives felt a wave of relief when he spotted a red sigil on one of the clones' armour.
Dusk had already fallen, and the bright headlights of the gunships cut through the darkness. Fives helped Ahsoka gently settle to the floor inside the ship. Now, in the bright light and up close, the amount of cuts and blood covering her face and arms startled him.
"What? Do I look that bad?" Ahsoka asked with tired amusement, more perceptive than her condition would suggest.
"You could never look bad." Fives replied, his voice filled with genuine concern.
Ahsoka chuckled softly, "You're really sweet when I'm injured."
The medic approached, interrupting their conversation. Fives exchanged a final look with Ahsoka before stepping aside, leaving her in the medic's capable hands. He stood and joined Rex a few steps away, glancing back to see the medic crouch down next to Ahsoka, carefully extracting the shards of glass from her arms and knees.
"How many casualties?" Fives asked the Captain, crossing arms over his chest to hide the trembling of his hands as the adrenaline was leaving his body.
"Three as for now. Most of the floors were empty at this hour since they're office spaces." Rex explained. "There was a second attack on the tube but Inks' boys are handling it."
Ahsoka's pained hiss drew Fives' attention back to her immediately.
"My apologies, sir," the medic said, holding a piece of glass between the forceps in his hand.
"That's alright. Always wanted to try acupuncture but never had time for it," Ahsoka joked, making the man chuckle.
Fives' shoulders relaxed slightly and he turned back to Rex.
"What happens now?" he asked.
"We'll take this shab for interrogation to find out how many of them there are," Rex said and as great as the plan sounded, Fives already knew the man wouldn't talk. "General's already in the safe house, reinforcing protection. You go back with the Commander to the base, make sure she doesn't escape the medic."
"Sounds good," Fives agreed, as he doubted that any medic other than Kix had the power to keep Ahsoka in medbay. Rex bid his farewell to Fives and cast a protective gaze at Ahsoka before boarding another gunship to take him back to the centre of the action.
"Thanks, Cast," Ahsoka's voice was almost drowned by the starting engines. White bandages on her hands and neck contrasted vividly with the dried blood on her clothes. Still, she was wearing a kind, albeit tired, smile.
"At your service, Commander Tano," the medic replied. "I'll finish the stitches back at the base, sir." He already packed his kit and was visibly considering how to assist her to get up from the ground but Fives' presence relieved him of this trouble.
"I see you've already made friends," Fives remarked once the medic was out of earshot.
"Jealous?"
"Always."
With a stable hand around her back, Fives helped Ahsoka to her feet. He grabbed the handle hanging from the ceiling, his other arm was still wrapped around her waist. The gunship shot up with a jerk which made him tighten his hold around Ahsoka. With a sigh, she rested her cheek on his chest and the shuttle flew into the night.
When Brawler had shown them around earlier, he had skipped the medbay. Now, however, as Fives stood in the white bright room, he guessed his tour was finally completed. Bacta's cloying smell hung heavily in the air and Fives supposed that fragrance was bound to accompany Ahsoka for the next few days.
Fives watched as Cast sutured Ahsoka's deeper wounds, before moving on to wrapping bandages over the smaller ones. His eyes traced the needle's path as it pierced her skin, creating neat patterns on the insides of her palms. Each stitch ripped a hole in Fives' chest but he couldn't look away. At the same time, Ahsoka held herself gracefully, limiting her swearing to three curses, keeping her arms in place even though Fives noticed how her tired muscles instinctively urged her to pull away from the needle. But after half an hour of constant needle poking, she appeared to grow numb, her eyelids falling closer and head swaying lightly. Fives realised that his presence was less about making sure Ahsoka didn't flee and more about ensuring she made it back to her cabin.
"All done, sir," Cast informed, his voice pulling Ahsoka from her slumber.
"Thanks," she replied automatically, her eyes blinking at the surroundings as if she were trying to remember where she was.
"Can you stand up, Commander?" Fives asked because she seemed to sway even though she was still in the chair.
"I don't need a cane, if that's what you're suggesting," Ahsoka rose and momentarily her knees gave out. Cast held out his hands, but Fives was faster.
"I'll take it from here," Fives assured. He kept his hand on her back until she seemed to recover from the wave of dizziness. Still, even when they left the medbay, he kept close in case another came.
The halls seemed to stretch endlessly as they walked towards the officers' cabins. Neither of them tried to disrupt the prevailing silence, nor break the turmoil within their thoughts.
Fives was casting sideways glances at Ahsoka to check if she was alright but she didn't seem to notice. Her eye markings were furrowed and the bottom lip bit. She only seemed to snap from her thoughts when she stumbled on her uncertain legs and Fives' hand quickly followed to stabilise her. But each time, it didn't take her long to once again fall into whatever debate she was having inside her mind.
Forget me, her words kept echoing in Fives' head. From all the screams and cries, it was what had pierced his heart in the most painful way. And Fives wasn't even sure why since it was absurd. Surely an act. Even if her plan didn't work out, she couldn't have possibly thought that he would trade her life like that. She had sounded way too convincing but Fives tried to push that thought away. Perhaps he just never gave Ahsoka credit for her performance skills the way she deserved.
Finally, they reached her cabin. Ahsoka snapped out of her reverie but needed a second longer to recall the code to her room. Once the keypad greenlit, granting her entry, she turned to him to bid goodbye in her fatigued voice.
"Night, Fives. I'll see you in the mor—"
"You didn't mean it, right?" He interjected abruptly and Ahsoka looked at him righteously confused. "It was only part of your plan; just to grab the glass, wasn't it?" He pressed as if there was only one correct way to answer him. "You couldn't actually think I'd—" he couldn't say it aloud but despite his cryptic wording, Ahsoka's gaze was telling him that she knew what he was referring to. He didn't like what else it was saying.
"You did what was right at the moment," Ahsoka said evasively, leaning against the doorframe. "And I'm grateful you did."
"But what if there was no third option? What if I had to make that choice?" Fives persisted, not in the slightest satisfied with her answers.
Ahsoka pressed her lips together. The faint smile she'd tried to hold a moment ago was now gone just like the fading spark in her eyes. Suddenly she looked so much older. "You'd have to make the decision you'd be able to live with," she finally replied, her tone measured.
"I'd want to make a decision that would enable you to live," Fives countered, both desperate and determined. Did it make him a bad soldier to want that? To prioritise his Commander's life over her orders?
Ahsoka stared him in the eye, her expression solemn. "I won't say something just because you want to hear it."
Fives wanted her to; to be sure they were on the same page, that sacrificing her was never an option. He so desperately needed her to see that. But maybe he didn't need her to agree with him. Because no matter what she'd say, he knew he wouldn't change his choice. And it was enough for him that she knew that, even if she didn't want to hear it.
Fives looked her deep in the eyes. "For me, there will always be only one option," he asserted, sure of these words like nothing else in the galaxy. "Get some rest, Commander."
With a final glance, Fives turned around and disappeared down the hallway long before Ahsoka closed the door.
When Fives reached the barracks, the lights were already down. Quietly, he made his way to his bunk, the naive part of him clinging to the hope that the mattress would make the troublesome thoughts go away, if only for a moment. But the unfamiliar surroundings weren't doing any good either in finding solace and Fives quickly came to terms with reality. He wondered if Ahsoka, too, lay awake, her blue eyes staring at the ceiling, the same way his gaze was boring into darkness.
Adrenaline has long since evaporated from his body, yet he still couldn't fall asleep; not even into restless, numbing slumber. He'd been tossing and turning for what felt like hours but now he stopped to look at Jesse's still empty rack. Apparently, the Arkanian delegation no longer contemned the Republic's 'insulting' protection. Fives could only feel sorry for Jesse's sleepless night. In a gesture of solidarity, he slipped from his bunk and left the barracks filled with strangers.
Fives had no plan, or idea for that matter, where he was going. It was still over seven hours till the reveille but any more minute spent on forcing sleep seemed unbearable. And, apparently, he wasn't the only one thinking that way.
Fives was fairly certain that rest was part of Ahsoka's prescription, yet here she was – striding the halls in the middle of the graveyard shift, almost a dead woman herself. A cloak wrapped around her shoulders indicated that she was going for a trip further than a medbay or mess.
Fives didn't even have to fight his conscience when immediately deciding to follow her. He wasn't perfectly acquainted with the layout of the base, but after ten minutes of walking he was positive they were heading for the hangar. Where to afterwards – he had no idea. He didn't intend on spying on Ahsoka but the longer he followed her the harder it became to reveal his presence. He kinda thought that until now she would call out to him herself, but Ahsoka either was too tired to notice him or she didn't care enough.
When they entered the hangar, the air filled the quiet hum of astromechs, their beeps a subtle backdrop to his steps. The main source of light in the hall was the white glow surrounding each shuttle. The bright lights illuminated Ahsoka's figure as she stopped before a ramp of an Eta-class shuttle. Fives kept walking until he stood just a step behind her. It was then that Ahsoka finally broke the silence.
"Don't try to stop me."
"I wouldn't," Fives said, closing the distance to stand beside her. "Only offering a drive."
Ahsoka looked up at him with surprise which quickly melted into a grateful smile.
They moved inside the ship, Fives swiftly taking the pilot's seat. His fingers danced over the panel control, switching on the systems and filling the cabin with a soft glow.
"Where to?" he asked, skipping the redundant argument that she should be resting in her bunk instead of whatever they were doing.
"Padmé's," Ahsoka said, settling into the co-pilot's seat. Fives nodded, putting down the coordinates. The shuttle soared into the air, the sleeping city soon unfolding beneath them.
Once they were on a steady course, Fives dared a sideways glance at Ahsoka. She stared ahead, but her gaze seemed to stretch far beyond the horizon.
"You shouldn't pity that man just because of what he said," Fives noted softly.
"I know," she said with a sad certainty. "He killed people in that building and nothing justifies that. …but if there's anything I can do to stop the same cruelty that's been happening in Arkania, then I have to try."
They flew away from the capital's centre yet the smoke emitting from the already extinguished skyscraper still loomed on their horizon. Fives doubted its shadow would leave them anytime soon.
"What are you planning to do?" he asked cautiously.
"Whatever I can," Ahsoka said with determination. But then she sighed, her eye markings pinching together and eyes squeezing shut. "I don't know what I'm doing. Aside from silencing my conscience." Bitterness filled her voice. "But there has to be something I can do. Even if it's just pestering someone with an actual mind to figure things out."
Fives glanced at Ahsoka. A commander, Jedi. The ranks weighed on her shoulders; soldiers looked up to her, awaiting orders, the civilians expecting solutions. But she was still just a young woman, with too much experience for her age and too little power to fix everything that was broken in the galaxy. Fives wanted to tell her that it wasn't her responsibility. That she shouldn't torture herself for something that was beyond her control. But he knew that none of those words would convince or reassure her.
"The way I see it…" he started gently. "Caring and trying is already what counts." He darted his eyes from the road to look at her, unsure if his words held any consolation for her. And, despite the worry in her gaze, her lips quivered in a small smile, and that was what counted.
Fives landed in the same place as the shuttle he had been on earlier today. He followed Ahsoka out of the cockpit but as he walked down the ramp and the residence bathed in warm lantern light came into his view, Fives slowed his step.
"I'll wait for you inside the ship…" he began, already making a move to turn back.
"Come on," Ahsoka looped her arm through his and pulled him forward despite his protests.
"I don't think it's—"
"Ahsoka!" He didn't get to finish as Amidala appeared, rushing to take Ahsoka in her arms. "Anakin told me what happened, I'm so sorry!"
"I'm alright, really," Ahsoka assured, her voice muffled from where she was trapped in Padmé's tight hug.
"You should be resting, you must be exhausted," Padmé didn't stop fussing but released Ahsoka from her embrace to look at her face. The woman was dressed in an elegant but much more casual attire than what he was used to seeing her in. "Still, I'm glad you came. And not alone, I see," she looked at Fives with a smile. Staying on the ship really was off the table now.
"Good evening, Senator," Fives nodded respectfully, even though it was long past the evening.
"Come in. Fives, is it?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Oh, please. Padmé's just fine," she assured, leading them inside the house. The two women fell into conversation while Fives followed them silently, trying not to stare too much at the luxurious furniture and crystal chandeliers that reflected in the large windows.
"Ahsoka," came Skywalker's voice from the upper floor. His footsteps echoed through the house as he continued. "I've talked to Rex already and we're—" he broke and came to a halt once he came to view and saw that his padawan wasn't the only guest. Few things in the universe could have taken the General by surprise, but now he froze at the top of the staircase, as startled to see Fives as Fives was to see him.
"General," Fives greeted formally, trying to sound professional.
"Fives," Anakin responded, his tone slightly incredulous as he glanced between Fives and Ahsoka. Fives felt heat rising to his cheeks and regretted holding his helmet under his arm instead of wearing it.
"Let's go to the salon, so we can talk," Padmé suggested once the awkward silence stretched for too long. "I'll have them prepare a lot of caf."
Fives followed his officers through the fancy hall. He was self-conscious of the echoing sound his heavy boots made on the marble floor and the surrealism of this whole situation. There was no mention in the regs how to advance in such a scenario. And despite his fondness for improvisation, this time he'd rather rely on specific, field-proven procedures.
The salon was spacious and filled with exquisite furnishings – like every other place inside the mansion. A big window stretched for the entire length of the room with a view of the gardens. In the centre stood a round wooden table, surrounded by various types of seating – armchairs, sofas, ottomans and pouffes. Skywalker took the velvet couch without consideration as if it was his regular spot – Fives didn't doubt the General had one – while Padmé and Ahsoka sat on the couches opposite each other. Fives opted for the armchair between the two women as it seemed the most remote seat with a big plant nearby giving him an illusive sense of camouflage; almost as if he was instinctively seeking cover. Fives placed his helmet on the small stand beside his chair, nervously shifting his gaze from one person to another.
Thankfully, an elderly Tholothian woman soon brought fine dinnerware, pouring freshly brewed caf into each cup. Fives reached for the drink, and even though it was still too hot to take a sip, he held it in his palms just to have something to do with them. He slowly sipped the drink while Ahsoka summarised her concerns about the pact after what she had learned from the Arkanian Offshoot. Padmé listened intently, and the frown on her brow deepened the more Ahsoka spoke.
"That's why I wanted to ask for your help," Ahsoka continued, somewhat sheepishly as if it wasn't her place to ask for such favours. "I know this could get you into trouble, so I'll understand if—"
"Ahsoka, of course I'll help," Amidala interrupted, more surprised by the tentativeness in Ahsoka's composure than the actual plea. "Frankly, I've heard a couple of complaints from other senators after the negotiations took such a turn. But Demarse's clever, it won't be easy to influence her actions."
"I was thinking we could add a clause about the Republic-appointed governor to oversee the mines," Ahsoka suggested, her tone cautious. "From the inside, there would be a chance to improve conditions for the workers. We could use today's attacks as an argument that it's a precaution for safety reasons."
Padmé's expression softened as she processed the information. Her fingers played with the hem of her long sleeve as she pondered. "That's... ambitious. But it could work." Ahsoka's shoulders relaxed at once but her expression remained focused, waiting for Padmé's next words. "Though increased security and additional assistance sounds great on paper, some may fret it's an attempt to control their planet. We must emphasise that the benefits are on their side. And find leverage on the queen; I doubt the reason would have any impact on her decision." Amidala fell silent for a moment, pondering over something. "I could call Bail, see if he can help us," she said eventually, already rising from her seat. "Actually it's the best hour to contact Coruscant," she muttered before leaving the salon.
With Amidala gone, silence fell in the room, so intense that it seemed to penetrate Fives' skull. He fixed his gaze on the cup of caf, deliberately avoiding Skywalker's stare which kept flicking between him and Ahsoka.
"So, how did you like the capital, Fives?" Anakin asked lightly, but the suddenness of it made Fives tense.
Fives cleared his throat and forced himself to look at the man. "A grand city, General." He admitted simply but the answer seemed to amuse Skywalker.
"Anything particular that caught your eye?"
Fives' gaze strayed to Ahsoka for a split second and he realised it was the worst thing he could've done at this moment. "No, nothing particularly, sir," he replied quickly. Too quickly.
"Didn't know you were into architecture, Master," Ahsoka retorted tightly, saving Fives from whatever question Skywalker still had on his tongue.
"I'm just saying," Anakin raised his hands innocently. "It is very fortunate that the two of you were in the city to stop the terrorist," he remarked solemnly, but Fives knew better than to miss the mocking undertone. He swallowed hard, only glad that the General's penetrating gaze was now fixed on Ahsoka and not him.
"Just as fortunate that you're here at this hour," Ahsoka shot back. Skywalker didn't seem bemused by the comment, he merely cast a sideways glance in Fives' direction, but it did the trick and he refrained from further remarks.
"I've informed everyone I trust," came Padmé's voice before she appeared in the room with arms filled with datapads and books. "So now we have a battalion of senators working on our case."
There was a necessity to find the best person who would pose as Republic governor on Arkaninia, but that was Padmé's job. The rest of them delved into collections of data available on Arkanian law, determined to find everything, any loophole, that could give them the upper hand they needed as well as any detail that threatened to undermine their demands. Fives didn't know much about political tactics and the legal terminology sometimes seemed too hard to comprehend, especially at this hour. He highlighted the parts he considered important but besides that, he wasn't much help.
Ahsoka, however, intently scrolled through her datapad. Her eyes quickly scanned the texts, taking notes or sharing her thoughts with Padmé. Fives noticed that her bandaged hands couldn't quite manage to lift the cup to her lips, so she refrained from further attempts that threatened to spill the drink. A tremor soon engulfed her hands as she scrolled the screen, but she didn't dare stop.
The caf kept coming even when the first sunbeams sneaked into the salon. Their work didn't slow down the pace and was only interrupted by Amidala excusing herself to take calls from her fellow senators. Fives thought this routine might go on till the negotiations themselves, but this time, Padmé returned briskly, despite the fatigue weighing on her step.
"We found him," she announced with a grin. "Vero Typhe; Chandrilian senator with off world's experience – a perfect match. He'll be able to get here for the afternoon's negotiations."
"What else can I do?" Ahsoka asked, her determination not waning even as the hours passed.
"Leave it to me, Ahsoka," Amidala assured. "Now you have to just trust me and wish me luck."
Ahsoka gave Padmé her heartfelt thanks while Fives bid his farewell to the General and Senator – he didn't dare to call Padmé by her name in the Skywalker's presence – and he returned with Ahsoka to their shuttle. With two taps, he brought the panel control back to life and took the ship off the ground.
"I'm sorry that you had to stay so late." Ahsoka turned to him. "I didn't think it would take that long…"
"Hey, that's fine," Fives assured her, suppressing a yawn that would have compromised his statement. "I'm the one who invited himself to this trip in the first place."
Ahsoka thanked him nonetheless, then sank back into her chair, tired but definitely more at ease than before their visit. Fives hoped that the upcoming negotiations would cement this feeling.
The city beneath them was plunged into sleep – still and calm. The only passerby was a flock of Pelikki that flashed before the ship's viewport. He slowly approached the GAR's hangar, halting the shuttle to a gentle stop.
"Here we are, back in one piece." Fives muttered, switching off the engines. "On behalf of the entire crew, I'd like to thank you for flying with us to—" he turned to Ahsoka and broke off at the sight of her. "—day," he finished quietly.
Ahsoka was curled up in her seat, her eyes closed and mouth slightly parted as her chest rose rhythmically. Quietly, Fives moved to the back of the ship and checked the cupboards until he found a blanket stored in the upper locker. When he returned to the cockpit he was relieved to see that Ahsoka was still asleep; if she had woken up, he doubted she'd close her eyes again. Fives gently wrapped the blanket over her and she subconsciously cuddled into it. Fives sat in the pilot's seat and, after taking one last look at Ahsoka, he let himself drift into slumber.
A loud clatter shook him awake. There was a string of hushed huttese curses, followed by the next clashes. Fives needed only a second to remember why he was inside a shuttle and even less to realise that the co-pilot's seat was empty. He rose up and moved towards the source of the racket.
"Auch! Kark—" The swearing became more distinctive as he neared the back cabin. Ahsoka was crouching on the ground, collecting the items that must've fallen from the open lockers above. The blanket he had covered her with a couple of hours ago lay at her feet. Noticing his presence, Ahsoka looked up at him apologetically.
"I woke you up, I'm sorry. I just tried to—"
"Is it that hard to ask for help?" he questioned rhetorically, the answer wasn't really needed. He crouched next to her and took the emergency beacon from her injured hands.
"I don't want to bother you…"
"Like I ever had a problem with that," he muttered, not stopping from picking the rest of the items from the flooring before getting up and storing them inside the cabinets. "Did you hurt yourself?" Fives asked though he didn't really trust her with the answer. He gently took her hands in his and inspected the bandages.
"The stitches are intact," Ahsoka said softly.
"Please keep them that way. At least till the end of the day." Fives sent her a pointing look, her palms still in his.
"I'll try," she promised with a smile stretching across her lips.
And with that assurance, they left the shuttle, parting ways as they navigated the compound's corridors.
Once Fives entered the barracks, everyone was already up and preparing to leave. He had some trouble finding his assigned bunk but that soon was resolved by the familiar voice.
"Fives?" Jesse asked, surprised to see him. Or rather, surprised that they'd only now met. "I heard about what happened but thought you were back a while ago."
"Yeah, I was. Just…somethin' else came up," Fives replied vaguely.
"How does it happen that just as you were discharged from one crappy mess you got yourself into a bigger one?"
"Asking for tips?"
"Only so I can avoid them."
"I could get hints on that," Fives murmured. He plopped onto his rack, watching as Jesse organised his gear. "So, what's on the schedule?"
"Oh, you'll like that. Drills and evening's negotiations. You're with me on the post this time."
"Great," Fives ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe you'll be my lucky charm."
Leaving their plastoid armour in the barracks, the brothers joined the flow of Stalwart Company soldiers heading to the gym. The training grounds were fragmented into different sections with sparring mats, shooting range, weightlifting and such. Fives eyed one station after another until his gaze landed on a bench by the wall where Ahsoka sat with a datapad in her bandaged hands. Fives sent Jesse an exasperated look before they made their way over to Ahsoka.
"I'm sure there are better places to finish a report than gym, Commander." Fives remarked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Unless you're lost, in which case you could just ask."
"I'm right where I wanted, thank you very much Fives. Hi, Jesse." She broke her pointing look to send Jesse a kind smile, which he returned without interjecting in their discussion.
"You expect me to believe that you intend on filing documents here?" Fives sent her an incredulous look.
"Where else could I take holos of you to attach? Rex will be thrilled to see those, don't you think?"
Fives only rolled his eyes and addressed his real concerns. "Commander, please don't tell me you're going to train," he said, slightly terrified by the prospect, given her injuries.
"Of course not," Ahsoka said, as if offended that he would even come up with such an idea. "I'm here to cheer on my blue boys."
"Thanks, Commander." Jesse saluted half-heartedly. "We'll make you proud." Ahsoka returned the gesture with fake seriousness, then addressed Fives.
"Fives? Aren't you going to say the same?" she asked innocently, but he only shook his head disapprovingly. He heard her laughter as he and Jesse moved to join the rest of the soldiers.
Thirty laps as a warm-up was hardly a challenge – Rex would have them run twice as much if he was in a foul mood. While circling the training ground, Fives kept glancing sideways to ensure Ahsoka was still on the bench. She appeared engrossed in her datapad, but every now and then, their eyes would meet, and she'd send him a teasing wink. The rush of heat from her attention made him run even faster.
Fives and Jesse kept exchanging sassy remarks, turning the run into their private contest. Fueled by the feeling of Ahsoka's gaze on him, Fives pushed harder at the final lap, pulling ahead at the last moment and finishing first, with Jesse right behind him. He barely had a moment to catch his breath when loud chants and whistles erupted from the benches.
"Woohoo! My boys!" Ahsoka shouted with a huge grin on her face. Fives let out an embarrassed chuckle, trying not to look too much at the teasing faces of the rest of the troopers. At last, he and Jesse send Ahsoka heartfelt salutes which she returned with equal ceremony.
Soldiers dispersed to different sections, the swish of blaster bolts filling the air, punctuated by weight bars hitting the ground with a clatter and mando'a curses flying from the combat ring. Fives moved from section to section but each time he cast a glance in Ahsoka's direction, she watched him from above her datapad. It was distracting and Fives couldn't help the blush on the back of his neck. But what threw him off completely was when he looked at the bench and she wasn't there. Her datapad was left alone and he started looking around.
"You've got to be kidding me…" he muttered under his breath. Ahsoka was walking to the sparring ring with one of the Stalwart Company soldiers.
Fives wondered if the clone was a dumb di'kut or a di'kut who had lost a bet to ask Commander Tano for a match. Either way, the man was taking his place on the mat in front of Ahsoka. Fives watched with distaste at his attempt to take advantage of her injured state. Not that it would matter much to the final outcome.
A fair-sized group had gathered around the sparring area and it grew by the second, forming a thick circle of men in black suits. Fives and Jesse pushed their way to the first row, tuning out the excited voices behind them and focusing on the fight in front of their eyes.
Ahsoka had her hands behind her back, evidently not going for the first punch. Riot – Fives had heard the name from the surrounding chatter – circled her, assessing her stance. Even when he moved behind her, Ahsoka remained steady. Riot narrowed his eyes, carefully planning his next move.
Finally, he lunged forward with a series of rapid punches aimed at her midsection, which she effortlessly avoided. Not losing his momentum, Riot aimed a kick at her ribs. Ahsoka ducked under it with ease and spun around, her hands still behind her back. She waited patiently for Riot to regain his balance as he struggled to find his footing after his attack hit nothing but air. Fives sighed inwardly. She could've swept the man from the ground the way he had seen her do many times before, but she was clearly holding back.
"Don't go easy on me, Commander Tano," Riot challenged. "I want the real deal."
"Good, because I was just warming up," she smirked.
Riot attacked again, his punches more forceful. Ahsoka brought her arms from behind her and blocked the jabs with her forearms. Fives observed carefully where the punches landed but she skillfully avoided making any contact with her palms.
Riot, frustrated by her defensiveness, increased the intensity of his attacks. He suddenly pivoted on his heel and launched a powerful roundhouse strike aimed at her side. Ahsoka reacted instantly; she stepped into Riot's attack rather than away from it. Using her forearm and shoulder to absorb the impact, she then hooked her arm around his leg, locking it in place. In a swift, fluid motion, Ahsoka twisted her body and leaned forward, using Riot's own momentum against him. She lifted him off the ground and tossed him over her back. The man landed with a thud, rolling several times before coming to a stop on his back, momentarily dazed. Ahsoka stood tall amidst the cheers, waiting for Riot to get back on his feet.
"Show-off," Fives huffed amidst the loud cheering from the men.
"Don't act like you're not enjoying this," Jesse jabbed him with his elbow. Fives looked at Ahsoka who was already back in the spar, her agile movements resembling an elegant dance as she sidestepped avoiding the punches only to second later strike a blow that landed exactly where she intended. She floated in the air, not even breaking a sweat and there was this fiery spark in her eyes – of course Fives enjoyed this.
The fight didn't last much longer. Despite Riot's clear determination, he was no match for Ahsoka. He tried a few more bold strokes but each was parried by her forearms and shins. She spotted an opening and took it, striking Riot's shoulder with her elbow. She spun and took a swing with her right leg. There was a collective "ouch!" once Ahsoka's foot met with Riot's chest, sending him to the floor for good this time. Fives couldn't help the proud grin that stretched his lips.
Loud applaud and cheering erupted but Fives was more interested in what the two contenders were saying as Ahsoka walked up to Riot, offering her forearm to help him from the ground. He felt a pang of jealousy when he noticed a blush on Riot's cheeks.
"I guess I got what I asked for, sir," Riot mumbled, his hand rubbing his sore shoulder.
"It was a good fight," Ahsoka replied lightly. Stalwart men moved in to collect their brother with a bruised ego, but Ahsoka turned her attention to the thinning crowd. When she spotted Fives' face, a beaming smile appeared on her face and she briskly made her way toward him.
"Impressive, Commander," Jesse praised. "And very entertaining, may I add."
"Thanks, Jesse. I'd be devastated to bore you," she said solemnly. Jesse chuckled before leaving her with Fives. Ahsoka looked up at him, eyes big and innocent. "I didn't use my hands," she said sweetly. Fives snorted.
"Yeah, I saw that." He folded arms over his chest.
"Nearly noon and the stitches are still in place," she pointed out proudly.
"My deepest congratulations on that, Commander Tano. Definitely exceeded my expectations."
"Yet you don't seem completely happy about it, ARC Trooper Fives. Would you rather I kicked your shebs?"
He would, but that was beside the point.
"Maybe some other time," he replied, not getting into details. "Are you joining us for dinner or do you have any more fights scheduled?" He teased her with a raised eyebrow.
"Dinner sounds fine."
Washed and clad in armour, Fives and Jesse entered the mess hall. Sweeping the room with his eyes, Fives noticed Ahsoka standing by the serving line. She had been standing in the same place for longer than seemed necessary, causing a traffic jam and making troopers pass around her. When he approached, he saw her bandaged hands struggling to hold the ladle which kept slipping from her loose grip as she tried to pour soup into a bowl. Ignoring the clones' displeased curses cast in his direction, Fives cut into the line next to Ahsoka and took the ladle from her hand.
"I think the soup is winning this round, Commander," he remarked lightly.
"So I have finally found a worthy opponent." Her smile was a bit bitter at her own inability. "Thanks," she said once he placed the filled bowl back on her tray.
"It's always someone you least expect." Fives said, glancing at her plate. She had picked some bread and egg-rolls which were relatively easy to grab. Apparently, anything that required cutlery was out of her reach. "By no means do I doubt your skills, but let me help you get the rest of your meal. What else do you want?"
Fives assisted Ahsoka with collecting her dinner until they made it to the end of the line. Then he took both of their trays and followed Jesse, who had just pinpointed Rex sitting at a table alone.
"Captain," Jesse greeted, taking a seat next to him. "You missed quite a bit."
"Haven't seen any fire so it couldn't be that interesting," Rex murmured just before taking another bite of his roast.
Fives and Ahsoka took places opposite Rex and Jesse, and the four of them started on their meals. Soon, Jesse and Rex got into a dispute about which DC blaster was better at long range. Fives would've gladly shared his own preference for the 15A but got distracted by the clatter next to him as Ahsoka clumsily drew the bowl of soup closer to her.
Ahsoka eyed the spoon sceptically. She took the metal cutlery between her fingers, trying to lift it to her mouth but the movement must have stretched her stitches because the spoon fell out of her hand and the liquid spilled onto her tray. She huffed in annoyance, then tried again. Fives recognised the irony in how she could beat up a man without the use of her palms but was at a loss when eating a meal.
"I admire your determination but doubt the second round would end any differently," he remarked.
"Well I do want to eat it and don't really have other options," she huffed, irritated.
"Don't sweat it, I got your back." Fives grabbed her bowl, turned to face her and brought a full spoon to her mouth. "Say 'ah'," he instructed. Ahsoka rolled her eyes at him. "Oh, right, my bad. Say 'ah', sir, " he corrected himself solemnly. Ahsoka raised an unimpressed eye marking at him but eventually opened her mouth.
"This is ridiculous," she said after the second spoonful.
"Better than starving, sir," Jesse commented respectfully, but couldn't hide his grin, clearly amused by the whole scene. Rex's expression was harder to read as he silently continued his dinner.
"Thank you, Jess," Fives said in appreciation for the support, then turned back to Ahsoka. "I'm really doing it simply out of concern. Now eat so you grow tall," he commanded, holding the spoon to her mouth.
"I will outgrow you one day," she remarked, narrowing her eyes.
"I'm waiting with anticipation," he assured firmly. Ahsoka then took another spoonful, but two droplets managed to escape past her lips and trickled down her jaw.
"Well, well, can't take you anywhere, can I?" Fives said. Without a thought, he reached out his hand to wipe the drops away. His thumb brushed her face from her chin up to the corner of her mouth. Fives froze. His finger was on her lip, just like his gaze. In a mess hall filled with troopers, and his two brothers sitting right opposite him.
Fives pulled his hand away as if burned. He met Ahsoka's eyes, wide with astonishment, and quickly looked down at his own plate, not daring to cross his gaze with Rex or Jesse, who was only just recovering from choking on his mouthful. Fives' heart pounded in his chest and he felt hot from embarrassment.
"I'll, uh…just eat this…" Ahsoka mumbled and sheepishly grabbed the bread from her plate and started eating it by tearing off small pieces.
"Yeah, er…right. Good choice," Fives muttered through a tight throat. He forced himself to stuff his mouth with food to fill the awkward silence.
It was a painful few minutes where one could use a knife to cut the atmosphere instead of slicing the thick steak on a plate. Thankfully, after a while, Jesse managed to come up with a topic and struck up a conversation. Still, as soon as Ahsoka emptied her plates, Fives rose from the bench.
"I'll take that," he said, taking both her tray and his, then moved to dispose of them. Once out of sight, he finally took a deep breath. The tension slowly left his body but the pang of shame was still there and he couldn't dispute he deserved that for being one of a reckless di'kut. After emptying his hands, he moved to return to the table but a voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Fives, a word."
"What's up, Rex?" Fives asked, stopping in the corner of the hall next to the Captain. "Sir?" he added cautiously; the look on the Captain's face told him that it wasn't a friendly chat. Rex shifted on his feet, folding arms over his chest. His eyes flew over the mess as if to make sure that in the prevailing fuss the words he wasn't sure how to voice would stay between the two of them
"Look," Rex started, finally fixing his gaze on Fives. "I know that you have a close camaraderie with Ahsoka, we all do. Who wouldn't." Now it was Fives' turn to frown, confused as to what direction the conversation would go. "She wears her heart on her sleeve, always wants the best for us." Rex's gaze momentarily went to Ahsoka laughing merrily with Jesse at the table, then returning to Fives with a hard look. "So let's try and return the favour. She's got enough to deal with so don't mess with her head. All your pranks and contests I don't mind – I'm glad she has friends in us. But still, she is our Commander – don't forget that."
Somewhere in the middle of Rex's lecture, Fives crossed arms over his chest, his hands clenching on his armour plates. He didn't manage to temper his demeanour, and his defensiveness must've been showing because Rex's expression became more stern.
"Don't do something that cannot be undone. Crossing a line would be unwise." Rex warned, lowering his voice. "I wouldn't want to intervene in any other way. Are we clear?"
Fives only now realised how hard he was clenching his jaw as he opened his mouth to reply. "Yes, sir," he said tensely. Rex gave a tight nod and headed towards the exit. Fives hadn't moved until he saw the Captain leaving the mess hall.
Fives' nails were digging into the plastoid on his arms as he stared after the Captain, revising everything he'd just heard. 'We all do', kriffing banthashit. The bond Fives and Ahsoka had was different, special, even if he couldn't name exactly what kind of relationship it was. Fives doubted anyone's feelings towards Ahsoka were half as intense as what he felt. And he was more and more convinced that she also had deeper affection for him, even if not a romantic one.
This wasn't some offhand infatuation or a whim to charm a lovely girl who laughed at his jokes. He loved Ahsoka. More than he had ever imagined was possible. The feeling was so intense that he had to keep himself in check around her and still slipped, like those few minutes ago. Fives didn't know what Rex saw in the canteen, but he certainly didn't see that. He had no idea how deep and sincere Fives' feelings were. And frankly, Fives thought that it was none of Rex's business.
In a surge of defiance, Fives wondered how Rex would've reacted had he seen him acting with Ahsoka in private. Because he had done far bolder things than holding a spoon for her. What would the Captain have said if he had seen Fives kissing Ahsoka's montral or gently brushing tears away from her flushed cheeks? Not that it mattered. The only person who could tell him to back off was Ahsoka herself. And, as of now, he heard no such complaints.
Besides, Fives was the only one who could get hurt by that arrangement. His extensive involvement in that relationship could only hurt his own heart. And as long as he lived in that limbo, in that unclear space between being close friends and confessing his love, he was deceiving only himself with the notion that it was enough. And even if he fed his delusions with the hope that there could be something more between them in the future, well, he'd regret that in the said future.
Fives tried to clear his mind as he walked back to the table, aware that Ahsoka would be able to sense his indignation. He must've done a poor job at that, because as soon as he sat on the bench, she raised her eyes to him and asked, concerned,
"Hey, are you alright?"
Fives stifled a sigh. Of course, she would notice something was off.
"Sure I am," he said, pulling his best smile. "What did I miss?"
Ahsoka filled Fives in on the conversation she was having with Jesse, her words flowing easily as she continued. Fives nodded along, but his thoughts were miles away and even Ahsoka's bright smile couldn't lift the weight of Rex's stern warning hanging over him.
Rex's lecture brought many ugly emotions to the surface. But beneath the thick layer of anger and aggravation lay guilt and the worst thought of all – that Rex might be right.
What if all this time, Fives had been hiding behind the image of himself withering away from unrequited love, just to not think of the consequences it would have on her? Taking comfort in the fact that Ahsoka seemed more attracted to him was sheer cruelty; he shouldn't be happy about it. Because that way, Fives wouldn't be the only victim of this failed romance. Wasn't it time to admit with shame that he was the villain of this story, selfishly kindling Ahsoka's feelings, which would sooner or later have to die in miserable disappointment?
For now, he pushed this conclusion aside, forcing himself to be then and there. But he knew that once he would find a moment to himself, he'd have to come up with a new set of rules because the current ones were no longer acceptable.
Once again Fives stood in front of the grand golden door, shut off from the course of negotiations. But this time he was more prepared for the long hours of guard duty, standing on the less interesting side of the door. Still, it was far better than sitting alone in the cabin as Ahsoka was at the moment; her injured palms only one of the many reasons she stayed behind. Neither of them had control of the outcome but at least being this close to the whole event gave some sense of action. Even if it was just standing at attention in a mostly empty hall.
Fives recalled the concern that Ahsoka had futilely tried to hide when she had asked him to give her the verdict after the negotiations. He hoped he wouldn't have to use the words of consolation he had already started preparing.
Fives wondered if the hard work would pay off. He caught a glimpse of Amidala before she entered the room and even her make-up couldn't cover the fatigue caused by sitting over the new proposal. However, she did catch his eyes, or rather his visor, and gave a tiny smile. Fives couldn't deny his surprise that she recognized the paintwork of his armour.
Now, he could only passively observe how the pool of light falling from the windows to the floor became fainter by the hour before disappearing completely and being replaced by the bright light coming from the chandeliers above him.
When the heavy door behind him finally opened, Fives tried to catch any snatches of the senators' conversations. Despite the dense crowd, Amidala moved to the side and found him to quickly convey the verdict. Although, from the reactions of the rest of the senators, he could have guessed it himself. Now all that remained was to break the news to Ahsoka.
Clone assistance quickly became useless as the Arkanian delegation left Naboo without further delay. For the better, Fives thought as he boarded the gunship, anxious to get to the base as quickly as possible. Once the shuttle entered the hangar, he jumped out of it, even though the ship was still technically above the ground. But Fives knew that each passing minute of waiting for the news must've been killing Ahsoka. He sprang to a run and didn't stop until he was in front of her cabin, his helmet already under his arm.
Fives knocked on the door and when he stepped inside, Ahsoka was already on her feet, looking at him expectantly with eyes full of worry.
"And?" she asked in a tight voice, as if expecting the worst.
"It's on."
"Really?" Her eyes immediately lit up. Fives finally stopped fighting the grin on his face.
"Yes, she took the deal. She agreed to everything."
Ahsoka ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck. The air got knocked out of Fives' chest; more by the feel of her sudden closeness than the action itself. He closed his arm around Ahsoka's back, keeping her steady as she was tip-toeing in the hug.
"I can't believe it!" her bright voice and warm breath tickled his ear.
"You did it," Fives praised with a smile and a cheek pressed to her lek. "Should I start calling you a senator now?"
"It was hardly my doing," Ahsoka said, loosening her hold until she stood again in front of him. Fives had to silence the voice in his mind telling him to pull her in again. "Still, I'm so happy." Ahsoka started pacing around and talking quickly as the anxiety she'd been harbouring for the past hours had finally found an outlet. "The negotiations took so long that I already started thinking that it was over… But it's on. I know that it doesn't mean that great change will follow immediately but…" she paused, raising her uncertain eyes to him. "It's a start, right?"
"I believe so, too," Fives said gently. Ahsoka's gaze softened and she let out a calming exhale. He could stand there for hours just staring at her and not uttering a word of complaint. But he remembered that maybe spending time alone with Ahsoka wasn't the best decision. "I should get going," he said, already heading towards the door.
"Fives?" The sound of her tentative voice made him reflexively turn around.
"Yeah."
"Before you go…could you help me with the dressing?" Ahsoka indicated the white bandage on the side of her neck. "I know I should probably just go to medbay, but since you're already here…"
"Er… Yeah, sure…" Hesitantly, he moved to the desk, where he placed his helmet and picked up the medkit lying on the counter. Ahsoka took two steps towards him, the lamp above casting long shadows from her eyelashes onto her cheeks.
As he stood right next to Ahsoka, her head tilted back, exposing her neck, and his fingers hovered millimetres away from her, Fives realised it was one of those things Rex had specifically told him not to do. And perhaps it was a really bad idea for him to get so close to her. But he couldn't deny her request for help after he berated her for not asking for it just a few hours ago.
Discreetly, he took a breath to calm his fast-beating heart. Fives started gently pulling the old wrapping but her lek stood in a way. He cleared his throat, "May I…?"
"Yes," she said quietly.
Fives delicately pushed her lek to the side and she shivered slightly. As he reached for the tub of bacta, he noticed that his fingers were shaking too. Kriff, he needed to pull himself together.
"I always took you for a courageous woman but never enough to trust my medical skills," he joked, desperate to spoil the atmosphere that felt too intimate for his own good.
"I'm ready to take that risk," she murmured and he helplessly realised that the sound of her voice so close wasn't doing him any good either. "Plus, you proved your capabilities a couple of times before."
"Did I?"
"Well I'm still alive," she remarked.
"That's the goal as a medic, I suppose." He smoothed the surface of the bandage as he applied it evenly to her skin. Here. It was finished and he should take his helmet and leave as fast as he could, kriff the manners and social conduct – every second he spent there could get him into something that'd break the rules he had not yet managed to set.
"Fives?" Ahsoka said, and just that one word was enough to shatter his resolve. "If you don't have anywhere else to be, maybe we can grab a cup of caf?"
Fives knew what he should say. Because, as much as the GAR's hierarchy meant nothing to him when it came to the possibility of being with Ahsoka, he was certain he could never stand in the way of her path as a Jedi. Still, the refusal simply wouldn't pass through his lips. His internal struggle was interrupted by the sound of his comm.
"Fives, I need you in Control Tower in five," came Rex's voice, distorted by the comlink. It was as if the Captain could sense the direction of Fives' thoughts through the Force, and Fives didn't know whether to curse or thank the man.
"On my way, Captain." Fives replied through the comm.
"I guess we'll have to take a rain check on it then," Ahsoka said, and Fives got the feeling she was trying to hide her disappointment.
"Right…" He grabbed his helmet from the desk and walked to the door. "Take care, Commander." Fives gave Ahsoka one last look and, with a heavy heart, stepped out.
As he gradually walked away from Ahsoka's room, his chest tightened with each step. What the hell had he been thinking this whole time? This was never going to work; it was doomed from the very beginning. Now he had to figure out a way to salvage the situation before it was too late. But once things went wrong, it was never easy to set them right. He had no idea how to turn things back around but he knew that he couldn't go on the way he did. No solution seemed ideal but since he clearly couldn't trust himself around Ahsoka, his options were limited.
So, for the time being, perhaps avoiding Ahsoka would be the best choice.