CHAPTER FIVE: THE MIDDLEMAN

Quarters of Severus Prince

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Scotland

31 August 1994

"You really do have two different faces, you know."

Severus froze, half-way through rinsing the vaguely eucalyptus scented brewers' wax from his hair. Aurora was leaning against the doorframe, eyeing him thoughtfully.

Severus pulled his head out of the sink, hair dripping. "What?"

"You have two different faces."

Severus straightened, jabbing his wand at his hair to dry it. "I heard you the first time. What do you mean?"

Aurora shifted. "You look different when you dress as Lord Prince."

"I do wear different robes. It's not as if I would brew in Wizengamot attire."

"Oh, stop being willfully obtuse."

Severus frowned.

"Your entire countenance is different as Lord Prince, and I think you know that!"

Severus finished tying his hair back. "I quite honestly have no idea what you're going on about."

"I think you do!"

"Stop talking in circles, Merlin damn it!"

They stared at each other for a moment, Severus' temper flaring unexpectedly.

"Sorry," he muttered uncomfortably.

"It's fine. I didn't mean to upset you."

Severus studied his socks for a heartbeat. "I didn't meant to shout."

"It's fine."

Severus sighed. "It's just been...stressful lately."

"And the school year has just started."

"Bloody hell, don't remind me."

"So, where are you going, all dressed up?" Aurora asked, tactfully letting the earlier matter drop.

"I have a meeting with Albus."

"What does he want?"

Severus shook his head. "Could be anything," he said, purposely avoiding the question.

"Severus…"

"Please don't push it."

Aurora was taken aback. "Severus...I thought we were past that."

Severus swallowed. "Listen...there's some...topics…I simply cannot speak of, or share with another living soul. We are together, you and I, but there are some things I must do on my own."

Aurora looked hurt. "I -"

"We can talk later." Severus straightened his robes. "I really must get going unless I wish

to be late." With that, he brushed passed Aurora, robes swirling in his wake as his emotions raged in his chest. He desperately wanted to confide in her, to finally come clean, to have her fully understand his situation and to stop needing to hold back.

Unfortunately, that would forever remain a pipe dream. He would never be able to trust another person enough to fully disclose his past, and there was enough that he'd done wrong that Aurora likely would never speak to him again.

Severus paused for a heartbeat, disgusted with his own selfishness. He was a pitiful excuse for a wizard, and a pathetic excuse of a man. His father would be pleased, Severus supposed, with his duplicity. He'd be the only one, and he was two meters underground. Not that Severus cared, of course. He'd been happy when Tobias died; the muggle had been a weight around his neck and a blight on his life.

Severus shook his head to clear it, and continued on to the Headmaster's office. Visits to the Headmaster were, at best, a tedious discussion about the students, and, at worst, an interrogation about the Death Eater's activities. Given that it was the evening of the first day of school, Severus was rather hoping for the former, especially since he had not notified the Headmaster of the Dark Lord's return. Morally, he knew he ought to have told the Headmaster the night of the resurrection - nay, as soon as he had been contacted to brew the loathsome potions - but he simply had not done it, and he wasn't entirely certain why. One voice inside him screamed that it was due to cowardice, and that Severus didn't have the chops to continuing spying. Another shouted that it was selfishness, and Severus couldn't bear to lift a finger for the greater good. The deepest part of him, however, knew it could be attributed to pure tiredness.

Severus was only thirty-four, but he felt decades older. It wasn't exactly a concept he could put into words, and could only be described by the subtle aches in his bones as the weather grew cold, the bouts of ennui that gripped him, and the constant feeling of worthlessness that circled him. If another war broke out, it wasn't a question of if he had the skills to survive, because he knew it was possible. Rather, it was whether he could summon to the will to carry on, to fight the good fight, and continue on between a literal Charybdis and Scylla.

If he chose to inform Albus, he would be risking his existence each day by lying to the Dark Lord, and the situation would be further complicated by his position of Lord Prince. If he didn't inform Albus, the Dark Lord would quietly take over Wizarding Britain, and the entire nation would be doomed.

Everything was different this time around; Severus could feel it deep within the center of his being. The Dark Lord was surprisingly lucid for someone who had spent years as a semi-corporeal being. He was also disturbingly well-informed, and he and Lucius were far more familiar.

There was also the not-so pleasant matter of Thomas Gaunt. When the man had initially risen to political importance, Severus had been suspicious, but more focussed on other aspects of his life. Severus hadn't held a seat in the House of Lords yet, and the information had been concerning, but largely irrelevant. Now that he'd actually met Gaunt, it was a very different story. If old Daily Prophet photos and Severus' own memory served him correctly, Thomas Gaunt looked disturbingly similar to the young Dark Lord, a fact that could not be chalked up to simple coincidence. Severus was fairly certain that the Dark Lord had never had a son, and the wizard was far too suspicious to trust a sibling, which, to Severus' knowledge, he didn't have.

It was a perplexing problem with unsettling implications. It was a given that Dark magic was at play, and Severus almost didn't want to know the secret behind Thomas Gaunt.

Severus stopped abruptly, having reached the gargoyle. After a muttered "Fizzing Whizbee," the gargoyle slid aside, and Severus ascended the stairs, still undecided on what he would tell the Headmaster. Severus had scarcely raised his hand to knock when Albus' voice sounded from within.

"You may enter."

Severus crossed the threshold, brushing aside the feeling of unease that settled on his shoulders. "Good evening, Headmaster."

"Good evening, Severus. Tea? Sherbet lemon?"

"No, thank you."

Albus deftly stirred three lumps of sugar into his own tea. "As you wish." They sat in silence for a moment as Albus sipped his tea and Severus situated himself on his chair. "Tell me, Severus, how are matters on your side?"

"The first year Slytherins are settling in nicely," Severus said, tacitly ignoring the implied question. "And at least a quarter of the upper years have already come to my office in a panic over the latest Defense appointment. Oddly enough, they seem convinced that because Moody violently attacked and incarcerated their parents and cousins, he would extend a similar courtesy to them in the classroom."

Albus looked pained. "I have made it quite clear to him that students must not be blamed for the crimes of their parents."

"Hmmph. Try telling my students that. You're lucky Bartemius Crouch Jr. never reproduced otherwise you'd have half of Hufflepuff crying too."

"Severus!" Albus chided.

"You know it's true," Severus said darkly. "And you know the children have a right to be afraid of Moody. He's not particularly stable, even at the best of times."

"I will have Minerva speak with him again. Now, Severus, tell me, how are matters progressing in the Wizengamot?"

"Tediously. Last session did not manage to finish the preliminary Ascension debate, so it will be continue when we re-convene around Mabon. Lucius is attempting to push a new piece of legislation regulating muggleborn activities, and Lord Gaunt has kept surprisingly mum."

"Regarding what?"

"I'm not certain," Severus half-lied. "I get the feeling he's attempting to marshal support."

"In favor of the Ascension of Rookwood and Runcorn?"

"No. Runcorn is a shoe-in, and he only has to worry about Marchbanks if the Progressives stop getting their panties in a twist about Ogden not receiving a nomination. Something is not right about Thomas Gaunt, and I feel I will soon understand what secret he harbors."

Albus looked pensive. "Could it be related to Voldemort?"

Severus started slightly, then ruthlessly clamped down on his emotions. "Unlikely."

"You know his genealogy as well as I do, Severus, and you know that he has no siblings, and, to the best of anyone's knowledge, bore no children. Yet, Thomas Gaunt is a legitimate heir to the Gaunt seat."

"He could be a cousin."

Albus shook his head. "Impossible. The timeline wouldn't add up."

"Mm."

"Have you heard any news in regards to Voldemort?"

Severus took a breath to steady himself, still hanging in balance between informing Albus and telling a falsehood. "Yes."

"And?"

"The Dark Lord has returned."

"When?"

"July."

Albus' eyes flashed. "And you chose to wait until now to inform me because…?"

Severus didn't have a good answer.

"I'm disappointed in you, Severus. You, of all wizards, should understand the importance."

Severus remained silent.

"Were you planning on informing me?"

Severus raised his head. "I was contemplating it."

Silence hung in the air for a moment, and when Albus spoke again, Severus could hear the edge of danger in his voice. "You were...contemplating...it."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Such a decision could, once again, jeopardize my very existence. I've grown rather attached to being alive, and not in an excessive amount of pain or duress."

It was the wrong thing to say. Albus leaned forward, eyes blazing. "You, of all wizards, should understand that preventing a second rise of Voldemort is more important than your own personal well-being."

"Perhaps if you paid more attention to my counsel, I would be more willing to risk my life for you and yours," Severus bit out.

Albus leaned back, arms crossed. "I beg your pardon."

"If you truly were dedicated to defeating the Dark Lord, you would have focussed heavily on destroying his allies. Instead of pandering to the Progressives, you should have centered your efforts on the also should have attempted to bring the House of Lords and the House of Commons into some semblance of a power balance instead of leaving the House of Commons as a pitiful consolation prize for the non-noble members of our society! That, not pandering to a party most regard as imbecilic, would have given your position more strength.

"And then, on a completely different side of the problem, there's the bloody Triwizard tournament. If you were worried about the Blood Purists and Traditionalists gaining power, why would you allow Durmstrang to set foot on our soil? How is that under any circumstance a logical, rational decision?"

"Are you quite done?"

"Yes."

"I scarcely feel I need to defend my actions to you; however, I will explain in hopes that you may finally comprehend them. The Progressives are not as misguided as you believe they are, as they are the only party with representation on the House of Lords that pushes for further reforms granting rights to muggleborns. It is important to support all members of our society, especially those who are the most vulnerable, and provide them with the protection and guidance they need to thrive. As for the wide governmental reform you suggested, both you and I know that is not feasible.

"Now, for the matter of the Triwizard Tournament. While I certainly did support the idea, I was not ultimately responsible for bringing it to Wizarding Britain. Furthermore, who is to say that the students from Durmstrang will not learn from our students?"

"And how likely is that?" Severus sneered. "They'll take one look at Creevey with his obnoxious camera, and another look at Malfoy with his scads of Galleons, and it doesn't take Merlin to figure out with whom they will prefer to spend their time."

"Severus, be optimistic!"

Severus stood. "Headmaster, we established a long time ago that I am anything but an optimist. I am a selfish and bitter man, and I do not think I will be able to continuing passing information this war. Good evening." With that, Severus gathered his robes around him, and swept out of the door, the door closing hollowly behind him.

On the other side of the door, Albus Dumbledore sat silently with an aura of sadness around him. "Oh, Severus," he said quietly, "it's only those among us who claim to be selfish and bitter who seldom are."

A/N: Sorry for the long wait between chapters! School has been absolutely crazy this semester. I will try my best to get the next chapter out quicker. Thanks as always for reading and reviewing!