PHASE 3: Inception
Grulovia! Grulovia!
His father was a dope!
Grulovia! GrUlOoOvIaA!
He issssshshsh - - CRACK!
The theater's screen went blank, the lights came on, and Gladmir woke up from his reverie. "Hey! What happened to the movie! It was just about to get to the good part!"
"Sorry!" came Raz's reply from the projector room. "Slight technical problem with the projector. Should be fixed in a moment. We appreciate your patience on this!"
Gladmir grumbled but stayed in his seat. He knew better than to lash out at providers of Gristol-approved entertainment.
Up in the projector room, things weren't so orderly. The minute Raz entered it, he was greeted a swarm of Censors and a pair of Enablers in Grulovian dress. As the empowered Censors charged him, Raz had to put up with their supporters chanting: "Malik, Malik, he's our man! He's the truth of all the land! Psychonauts can go and drool, Gristol Malik is so cool!"
The fight went in his favor, but one punch sent an annoying Enabler flying right into the projector, knocking it over.
As he repaired the projector, he projected his thoughts towards Gisu: "Hit a slight delay. Tell Beanball to take her time climbing the ladder."
"No need. She's blowing kisses at the audience."
Raz chuckled to himself. "Good ol' Frazie."
At last, the projector was fixed and he slid his new reel, labeled Maligula's new life, into the spot where Glory to Grulovia used to be.
"Got it!"
"Alright, I'm starting the countdown."
As Gisu counted down, Raz hopped down into the theater, while his Archetype waited back in the projector room. He took his seat next to Gladmir, made ready to cue the show…
"Is it fixed yet?" growled Gladmir.
"Yep. Show's gonna start in three…two…one!"
The lights dimmed, the projector turned on…
In the real world, Frazie did a quadruple twisting flip off the diving board, then fell straight towards the tiny pool below…
EXT: AQUATO CARAVAN – DAY
FRAZIE does a quadruple twisting flip off the diving board before falling into the floating orb of water held aloft by NONA's hydrokinesis.
NONA
Oh bravo! Well done Frazie!
FRAZIE swims out the bottom of the orb, rolls into a sitting position in front of NONA, and coughs.
FRAZIE
Can't wait until we get our pool, though.
I keep thinking I'm gonna slip right through that thing!
NONA
Oh, now why would you think I'd ever let you get hurt?
NONA pinches FRAZIE's cheeks, then hugs her. FRAZIE notices RAZ.
FRAZIE
Hey, what are you doing with that camera?
RAZ (O.S.)
Hiya Frazie, Nona. Looking good so far.
And this is a new gadget from Otto.
Mind if I speak to Nona for a bit?
FRAZIE escapes the hug and goes back into the caravan. NONA throws the water into the stream and walks over to RAZ.
NONA
Oh, Pootie! So good to see you. How's Crully?
RAZ (O.S.)
He's…adjusting.
I mean, he's been insane for so long, well…
NONA
Don't worry, that's normal for him.
After all, he was a madman in the sheets.
NONA giggles. The camera shakes as RAZ cringes.
RAZ (O.S.)
Nona! You know I can hear your thoughts, right?
NONA
Sorry. But I'm having so much fun remembering the past.
RAZ (O.S.)
Actually, that's what I'm here to talk about. Your past.
Specifically, your time as Maligula.
NONA's face darkens.
NONA
But I really don't like talking about her.
I did such terrible things…
RAZ (O.S.)
Yeah, and that's why Gristol Malik wanted you back.
So you'd do those terrible things all over again.
NONA
But the Psychonauts have him locked up!
He can't hurt anyone anymore.
RAZ (O.S.)
Gristol's just the tip of the iceberg.
There's an entire cult that worships your dark side.
They're called Deluginists.
And if they find out who you used to be, and that you're travelling with us…
NONA
You're right.
So what's your plan?
RAZ (O.S.)
I think I have a way to show everyone the truth about Maligula.
But to do that, I'll need more info from the woman herself.
NONA
So, what do you need to know?
CUT
At that moment, Raz sent a silent command to his Archetype, who turned off the projector.
As the lights came back on, Raz looked at Gladmir's face, and saw him deep in awed thought.
"It's a little change of pace from your usual fare, but…what do you think?" he asked.
"…Maligula's alive?"
"I'm not so sure." Raz said, throwing fake skepticism into his voice. "I mean, you can put anything into a movie, that doesn't mean it's true, right?"
"But it's on a Gristol Malik approved screen! That means it must be the truth!"
Raz grimaced. "Well, supposing it is true, what would that mean?"
"Then all those Deluginist nutjobs we've been bankrolling have been wasting their efforts on that necromancy gravolsknuk when we could have just gotten her right here! And when I bring her to Gristol, he'll finally see what a wonderful friend I've been to him! All the sacrifices, all the humiliation, all the years of boot licking will finally pay off!"
"Maybe, but there's a couple of problems with that," said Raz, getting more uncomfortable with each passing moment. "Namely, she seems quite happy in her retirement. How would you convince her to come with you? Because there's no way you could get away with using force on the Deluge of Grulovia."
"Are you kidding? Once I get my psi-dampeners and chloroform, I'll have no trouble putting her to sleep! Then, when she wakes up, she'll see Gristol and remember her sworn duty, as I did the minute I laid eyes on him—"
"But didn't that film say that the Psychonauts have Gristol locked up?" Raz interrupted.
"…. You're right!" Gladmir exclaimed as he stood up. "I must organize a rescue mission! A full-scale assault on the Motherlobe, with all the Deluginists I can muster by my side! Then we can reunite the true heir with the royal guardian, and no power in the world will be able to stop us!"
At this, he pulled a long scroll out of his notebook, grabbed Raz's pen (despite him yelling "Hey" in protest), and started putting checkmarks next to a list of names.
"I have to get in touch with Remeisk Broktus, so he can rally the Deluginist conclave in Tathuania…Oh, and we'll need support from…."
As he wrote and scribbled, Raz peeped over his shoulder with the OTTO-SHOT and captured the scroll in the image.
"Hole in one, everyone!" he projected to his fellow Junior Psychonauts, out of Gladmir's hearing. "Gladmir's got connections to almost every Deluginist cell in Europe! And I just got their names on camera!"
"Great job! Now cover your tracks and get out of there!"
With a nod to himself, Raz scanned the skies for a path back to the projector room, so he could burn the reel he produced. Finding some stray thoughts, he grappled up to them using Mental Connection…
…but then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw some dark thoughts. As he turned towards them, he saw how they led down a rotted-away corridor through the theater's ceiling. He heard a sound as well: the pitter patter of familiar feet.
"Hang on a second."
"What's happened?"
Instead of responding, Raz connected himself down the chain of dark thoughts, until he found another boarded-up door labeled JANITOR'S CLOSET. Some Pyrokinesis and a punch later, he was assaulted by the smell of cleaning products. He coughed, sputtered, and wiped the moisture of the fumes off his goggles, as he walked into the dark room until he found what he was looking for:
"A memory vault." Raz said. "Might contain more intel."
The green mental construct tried to run past Raz, but thanks to the extra-sensory training from Fullbear, he was able to see the sounds its footsteps made, allowing him to grapple it with Mental Connection and give it a solid thwack.
Stunned, the vault coughed up a slideshow reel.
GLADMIR'S ONLY FRIEND
Early in his life, Gladmir attended torture sessions with his Dad, as an audience to indescribable horrors.
One day, while recovering from the madness he was witness to…
…a young Gristol Malik offered him a taste of his caviar.
They started hanging out, and even went to a ballet together.
Gladmir witnessed Gristol prepare himself for leadership. He couldn't help but be inspired.
On the day the capital flooded, Mr Roboskovich was separated from his son, who was able to get onto the royal family's boat with Gristol's assistance.
To repay his kindness, Gladmir waited on the royal family hand and foot as if he were the lowliest of servants.
He endured one degrading task after another, all in the hopes of seeing Gristol smile again, to no avail.
When the royal family learned about the Deluginists who carried on Maligula's work, they dismissed them as madmen, and ignored Gladmir's suggestion they could be useful pawns, as he was nothing more than a servant.
When the royal family could no longer afford to pay him as a servant, he was dismissed, and subsequently distraught.
News reached him of his father's death, and of the inheritance he now owned. Separated from his only friend, he had nothing to do with it.
Then, Gristol contacted him, revealing a newfound interest in Maligula.
With his inheritance, he provided wealth and material support to Deluginist cells worldwide, hoping to build an army worthy of the Gzesarevich.
He was so sure it could work, he drew a poster for his shrine to Gristol featuring his master plan: bring Maligula to Gristol, and become part of his life again.
By the time he committed the slideshow to his own memory, Raz had to make a conscious effort to unclench his fist. Here was a man whose only positive influence was a narcissistic sociopath physically incapable of seeing people as anything other than tools or obstacles on his quest for wealth and power. The man who hurt his girlfriend so deeply by impersonating her father and attempting to frame her, leading to their first spat, was Gladmir's sole provider of happiness and meaning in
"Does he even know that Gristol only sees him as a puppet? And if he does, would he even care?"
"Dude, you gotta hurry up!" Raz heard Morris's voice yell, "The show's almost over, and that means his mental defenses will be coming back in force!"
"I…I can't leave now. He needs help. He needs to see the truth about Gristol."
"But if your astral projection gets forced out, we lose the intel you gathered! You'll jeopardize the mission!" protested Norma.
"Too late, Sis. Pooter's stuck in therapist mode," noted Lizzie.
"Hey, if it leads to you punching a representation of Gristol in the face, I say go for it!" said Lili.
Thus emboldened, Raz said: "Skater Girl, Ice Witch, try to set up an encore and buy me some time. I'm gonna try my best for this guy. But I promise, if I get in over my head, I'll use my smelling salts or call for backup."
"DON'T PEE YOUR PANTS!" yelled Sam's mental voice, to the point where the walls of the mental janitor's closet shook.
"….Will do, Menagerie," moaned Raz as he regained his bearings, before he followed the dark thoughts back to the projector room.
There, instead of burning the tape as he planned, he readied his Archetype to set it spinning once again.
He hopped down to the viewing gallery, where Gladmir continued making his battle plans.
"Uh, Gladmir? Can I ask you something real quick?"
"I suppose, as long as it's quick," said Gladmir with a hint of irritation, as he paused his writing.
"It looks like you really want to be the best servant Gristol ever had. But you know, I think he needs something more than a servant. I think he needs an advisor."
Gladmir gave Raz a quizzical look. "An advisor? Me?"
"Yeah, well, if you rescue him, he's going to trust you. Maybe he'll even look up to you. Let you in on his secrets, help him perfect his plans so he doesn't make the kind of mistakes that got him captured…that kind of thing."
Gladmir smiled for a second, before becoming concerned again: "You really think I could do it?"
"Yeah sure. Of course, limiting yourself to only knowing what Gristol tells you would make it hard…"
At this, Gladmir grabbed Raz by the lapels: "Tell me what I need to do, boy! Gristol is counting on me!"
When Raz recovered from the shock of being grabbed, he said "Actually, how about I show you?"
"Yes!...show me what?"
Internally, Raz felt triumphant; this meant Gladmir was starting to become open to new ideas. He decided to push his luck.
"Here's something that Gristol didn't know, but really should have…" he said as he signalled his Archetype to play the tape…
INT: FILM STUDIO – DAY
RAZ and NONA enter the studio, led by FRED.
RAZ (O.S.)
You really didn't have to agree to this, you know.
FRED
Hey, it's honest work, for a good cause, and we owe you big time.
FRED holds the door for RAZ and NONA. They enter a room where EDGAR is setting up a stage, designed to look like a Grulovian street.
Fred exits into the dressing room. GLORIA enters, dressed as Maligula.
RAZ (O.S.)
Love what you did with the place, Edgar!
EDGAR
What, this?
EDGAR gestures to the canvas flats meant to represent Grulovian streets.
EDGAR (CONT.)
Working from reality is easier than working from imagination.
Especially when that reality is nowhere near a bullfight!
RAZ (O.S.)
I can tell.
Well, this should make things a whole lot easier.
Gloria?
GLORIA
Yes, darling?
RAZ (O.S.)
I'd like you to meet the person you'll be playing.
Meet Nona Aquato, a.k.a. Lucrecia Mux, a.k.a. Mad Maligula.
NONA waves, and GLORIA walks over to her.
NONA
Oh, you look so sweet.
And in that costume, I might mistake you for my dear Marona.
GLORIA
(in perfect Grulovian)
That's good to hear, although I'm supposed to be you.
NONA
Pootie, you didn't tell me she spoke Grulovian!
GLORIA
Oh, you know me, I just had to learn the classics!
Well, technically, it was either that or get whipped by Hagatha's headmistress.
Messed me up for life, that place.
RAZ (O.S.)
To be honest, I thought you'd turn this down.
Given your history with acting and tragedy and all.
GLORIA
After all you did to bring back my muse?
My inner sunshine?
The spirit of my youth?
As long as I take it in moderation, I should be fine.
BOYD (O.S.)
Um, mister Psycho-whatsit?
RAZ turns the camera towards BOYD, dressed up like Theodore Malik, holding a stack of papers marked 'Script.'
RAZ (O.S.)
Something wrong, Boyd?
BOYD
Are you sure you can trust me with this kind of…
…Sensitive information?
RAZ (O.S.)
Well, the idea is to release it when the world's ready, so…
BOYD
But…what if they'rewatching?
What if they corner me in a dark alley and hook me up to one of their…
BOYD leans in and whispers
BOYD (CONT.)
Milking machines?
FRED (O.S.)
That was a mental image I did not need, Boyd!
RAZ (O.S.)
Boyd, what you need in your life are people who trust you,
and who you can trust in return.
After what happened at the asylum, the mess I made,
I'd rather be that kind of guy.
Do you think I can trust you?
BOYD
Well…Me, yes. But—
RAZ (O.S.)
Good enough.
And you can trust that I will never hurt you again.
BOYD looks around, unsure of how to respond.
BOYD
Can we just get this over with?
RAZ (O.S.)
Sure, one last thing.
Fred?
FRED peeks his head out of the dressing room, dressed as the Grulovian executioner.
FRED
What's up, Mr. Director?
RAZ (O.S.)
Got all the water ready?
FRED
Yeah, but what for?
NONA
Special effects.
NONA summons an orb of water that floats into the middle of the studio. The Thorney Towers crew stares in awe.
FRED
Wow.
GLORIA
Now I see why she's here at the rehearsal.
EDGAR regains his focus and grabs a film camera.
EDGAR
Well, let's do this!
The 'actors' get into place.
EDGAR
Ready?
RAZ (O.S.)
Maligula Betrayed, screen test. Action!
Edgar starts filming. BOYD struts onto the set, humming to himself. FRED is tossed onto the set by the Hand of Galochio.
BOYD (as Theodore)
Oh no, my faithful assassin! Who did this to you?
GLORIA enters, suspended on a column of water.
GLORIA (as Maligula)
Is this how you reward your loyal servants, Gzar Theodore?
Sending assassins after them?
I could hear the murder in his thoughts!
BOYD backs away, shaking.
BOYD (as Theodore)
C-calm down, Maligula, I'm sure there's some misunderstanding.
GLORIA (as Maligula)
What's there to misunderstand?
He even said 'the Gzar sends his thanks for your hard work'
as he readied his axe!
FRED (as Executioner)
It's true.
I failed you, your most…
FRED slumps over in feigned unconsciousness
GLORIA (as Maligula)
You're the one who taught me that disloyalty is punished with death.
You heaped praise upon me when I broke the dam,
slaughtering the peaceful protesters,
among them my own sister,
when I only wanted to scare them off with a rainstorm!
And now that I'm at my prime,
flushing the trash from the streets as you told me to,
you do this to me?
BOYD (as Theodore)
Yes, you're certainly doing as I asked.
But you're doing it too much!
You're drowning loyal citizens along with the disloyal!
GLORIA (as Maligula)
So what? You've just proven loyalty counts for nothing!
BOYD (as Theodore)
There's talk of a coup among the army!
They blame me for your rampages.
A full scale rebellion against me, borne out of hatred of you!
The column of water carrying GLORIA gets higher and starts spinning.
GLORIA (as Maligula)
And what can they do against me?
Me, the Deluge of Grulovia!
BOYD (as Theodore)
I was trying to stop you from destroying this country!
My country!
GLORIA (as Maligula)
I will remake Grulovia!
Once I have washed away all the human trash!
BOYD runs away as GLORIA starts laughing like a wicked witch.
EDGAR (O.S.)
And scene!
GLORIA stops laughing and takes some deep, calming breaths.
GLORIA
Was that everything you wanted, Razputin?
RAZ(O.S.)
Yes! We got it on both physical and mental film!
The water column disappears and slinks offstage. Everyone gathers onstage, breathing heavily.
BOYD
Wow. Having the actual water…that was scary!
GLORIA
Are you kidding? You did great!
This kind of method acting really works for you!
FRED
And you haven't lost your touch either!
RAZ (O.S.)
Yeah. What did you think, Nona?
Was it like looking in a mirror?
NONA
Oh, it didn't happen exactly that way in real life.
But that is everything I wanted to say to that jerk.
EDGAR
Besides, it makes a better show.
FRED
So, when do we see the royalties?
RAZ (O.S.)
Well, You guys will get paid for this stuff in a couple days.
But right now, we're in the proof-of-concept stage.
With any luck, the other Psychonauts will like the idea,
and we'll get to see you guys in
True Psychic Tales The Movie:
The Untold History of the Psychonauts.
NONA
Then the whole world will see the truth about Maligula…
…And the Maliks.
CUT
The camera stopped as the reel ran out of film, and the lights came on once again.
The seat Raz sat on suddenly crumbled, dazing him as he fell on his butt.
Raz stood up in the middle of a pile of rotten wood as he regarded Gladmir, whose face was drained of color and whose breath was becoming irregular.
"Ummm, are you OK?"
"Maligula…betrayed the Gzar?" said Gladmir weakly.
"Well, technically the Gzar betrayed her first, but yeah; after that day she was basically an enemy of the royal family. An enemy of all living people, in fact. If it weren't for the Psychonauts shoving her Maligula persona back into her primitive subconscious where it belongs, she would have drowned everyone in Grulovia, and beyond."
"But…Gristol said she would be happy to see him. He said she would be happy to restore Grulovia!"
Raz shook his head. "Maligula's an overgrown fight-or-flight instinct developed into a whole personality. She's incapable of restoring anything, only lashing out at everything and everyone. Gristol was wrong."
Gladmir seemed to stop breathing for a second, and Raz stepped closer, concerned. After all, if anything happened to Gladmir while Raz was still in his mind, the backlash would obliterate his astral projection.
At last, Gladmir spoke: "Gristol…was wrong?"
At those words, the ground shook. All the rotten chairs crumbled to dust, including the gilded ones. The lights exploded with bursts of electricity and fell off the walls, which in turn started peeling. The screen cracked, and pieces of reflective silver fell off the vinyl canvas.
When dust began to fall from the ceiling, Raz grabbed Gladmir and yanked him off his seat with a subdued "Time to go."
Still stunned, Gladmir put up no resistance. The two of them ran for the exit as fast as they could, right before a beam fell from the ceiling and smashed Gladmir's chair.
The instant they dove out of the exit, the whole showroom splintered with a loud CRACK, and a cloud of powdered glass and sawdust belched out of the doorway. They coughed as they stood up.
Turning around, they saw the rubble spilling out of the doorway, preventing anyone from going back in the showroom. Gladmir stared at the splinters with tears in his eyes.
Raz cut through the silence with a joke: "You know, I've heard of box office bombs, but this is ridiculous!"
Raz laughed at his joke, but only for a few seconds; he stopped when he saw Gladmir attempt to pull clumps of wood out of the rubble, stopping when he got a splinter in his thumb.
"What am I supposed to do now?" he wailed as he favored his thumb, "Without Gristol's propaganda I won't know what to think!"
"Actually…" Raz said as he took hold of Gladmir's hand and removed the splinter with telekinesis, "I think you already do."
Gladmir tilted his head in confusion.
With some telekinetic assistance, Raz brought Gladmir to the Cutting room, which was quite flooded with new idea reels. The posters of Gristol were crooked, and some had even faded away.
"Here's where your Censors have been limiting your new experiences, except for the ones you thought would get you closer to Gristol, or what you thought he would approve of."
Gladmir started shivering. "Are you sure we should be back here? The door did say staff only."
"Me, that's a good question." Raz replied. "But I thought you were the one in charge here."
At this, Gladmir paused to think, and survey the scene. Raz stepped back to the door and leaned against the wall, content to just watch him.
Gladmir wandered into the pile of movie reels, and started leafing around, still unsure what to make of it all. He had just picked up a reel labeled Gristol was wrong…
…when the walls started shaking again.
"Uh-oh."
"Look out, the show's over!" Morris projected. "His mental defenses should be waking up any minute now!"
"No, not now! I almost got through to him! I just need a little more time."
"Too late! My plants are picking up a lotta nerves firing. Something big is coming, and it's headed your way!" yelled Lili, her nervous worry tangible through their empathic link.
Raz scanned the area, but he couldn't sense any one source of the shaking. Gladmir, meanwhile, cowered under one of the Censors' desks.
"Hold on, Gladmir!" Raz called, "Everything's gonna be OK, you just gotta—"
A loud WHACK interrupted him, but this time he was able to identify the source: a large portion of the wall behind the He Is The Truth poster had suddenly developed large cracks.
Another WHACK, and the cracks encompassed the whole wall.
Then, with a sound not unlike a gunshot, the wall caved in, revealing a bespectacled behemoth with purple skin, grotesque obesity, ripped clothes (save for the He Is The Truth poster, which hung around his neck like a bib), and a massive weapon that looked like a rubber stamp.
"It's a Mega-Censor!" Raz exclaimed. "A Gristol Malik-shaped Mega-Censor!"
Even though the rest of the team had never seen a Mega-Censor up close like Raz did when Sasha was teaching him Psi-Blast (and Raz had never described the incident per Sasha's insistence), the panicked tone in Sam's response suggested they got the idea.
"Raz, get out of there! Now!" she projected, forgetting the codename protocol in her panic.
Raz groaned, disappointed he couldn't stick around, but he still reached into his pocket for his smelling salts.
He kept a wary eye on the Mega-Censor as it stomped into the room, growling as it surveyed the strange thoughts around it. It roared and raised its stamp, and Raz readied his smelling salts. The stamp came down…
…on the desk Gladmir was hiding under. He screamed and crawled backwards, still clutching the idea reel.
The Mega-Censor followed his movement with its piercing gaze, ignoring Raz.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" he muttered in panic as he backed up against the wall.
Light from one of the overhead lamps glinted off the Mega-Censor's glasses, illuminating the idea reel and causing its title, Gristol was wrong, to sparkle.
Upon seeing the title, the Mega-Censor roared "NOOOOO!" and readied its stamp to strike Gladmir. The poor man curled into a ball and screamed.
"Hey! Ugly!" Raz shouted, dropping his smelling salts. The Mega-Censor paused, lowered its stamp, and turned to regard Raz.
"Why don't you go after a thought that actually doesn't belong here, like me?"
The Mega-Censor growled and tightened its grip around its stamp. But then it turned its attention back to Gladmir, and the idea reel it was holding.
Gladmir flinched and froze like a deer in headlights as the Mega-Censor looked back and forth between him and Raz, as if unsure which was the more harmful thought.
"Man, this guy's Censors have some weird priorities." Raz said to himself before he came up with a solution:
"I was the one who showed him that reel!"
No sooner had he said that than the Mega-Censor bellowed "NO!" and lunged for Raz. It raised its stamp, brought it down…
…and right after dodging out of the way, Raz used Mental Connection to zip up to the monster's head and smack it upside the face, then flipped and landed behind it.
As the Mega-Censor turned and readied a charge, Raz yelled: "Get to a safe place, Gladmir! I'll handle this guy!"
Gladmir nodded and ran out the door. Raz ran in the opposite direction, out the hole the Mega-Censor made with its entrance.
With surprising speed for its size, the Mega-Censor followed Raz.
Uh oh, what now?