CHAPTER 15: LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHILE YOU'RE MAKING OTHER PLANS

A short time later Adam had the car packed and was about to leave. Gordo came outside for the first time in 36 hours, shielding his eyes against the brightness of the sun. Dad was in the driver's seat, adjusting the mirrors, and Mom was inside, cleaning up after dinner, so she didn't know that her son was outside in his pajamas.

Adam pulled his cousin close in a "man-hug," half hug and half handshake, saying, "Later, dude. It's been real."

"Yeah, it's been a real…something," Gordo said. "I'm not sure what. Sorry if I was a drag."

"Not at all," Adam said. "It was a blast seeing you in your natural habitat, and meeting some of your friends. Especially Miranda."

"About that," Gordo said. "You were just kidding, right?"

"I tell you what," Adam pondered, slipping into the passenger seat. "Why don't we revisit this question in about…four years? Okay? You and Miranda will be eighteen by then. You could drive up to Berkeley together to see me graduate. You think?"

Gordo continued recovering all day on Monday, but feeling significantly better that evening, he began gathering his stuff for the next day at school. It would be great seeing Nicole again. But he would feel weird seeing Lizzie. He wasn't sure he was up to it, but…it had to be done. He couldn't hide from her forever. He had to move on.

To boost his spirits, he made the decision to wear his favorite tee shirt tomorrow. That would give him confidence. As he pulled it from the drawer, he noticed some odd scraps of paper shoved in the corner.

Oh yeah…he remembered.

Taking a deep sigh, he pulled out the pieces and laid them on top of his desk. There were Lizzie's large round letters, shattered by the rough edges of his anger. He looked at those pieces for what seemed hours, but in fact, only a few minutes had passed before he heard his mother call up the stairs, "I hope you're getting ready for bed, Davey! Back to school tomorrow, you know!"

"Yeah, I know, Mom. Just a few more minutes."

"Good night, dear! Sleep good!"

"G'nite, Mom!"

He took one more look at the torn squares of the postcard, laying helter-skelter in the glow of his desk lamp. He noticed his desk drawer was open. He noticed the roll of tape within. It was a simple thing to reach into the drawer and pull out the tape. It was more difficult to find two pieces that obviously fit next to each other and line them up side by side. The words "Feminine Charm" appeared like the answer to a riddle. Of course it would. No matter what happened for the rest of his life, that phrase would always be connected to Lizzie.

He tore off a piece of tape and laid it over the words. The effort almost broke him, but he did it. Enough for now. Maybe tomorrow he would find two more pieces to tape back together. Right now, he was going to bed.

Tuesday morning, Gordo saw Lizzie in the hallway outside his second period History class, like he always did. He'd had a lot of time to think over everything that had happened and all the good advice Adam had given him. He remembered how rude he'd been to Lizzie the last time they met in this hallway, and he wanted to make amends. So he walked up to her and said, "Hi."

She looked at him cautiously. "Are we talking again, Gordo?" she asked in a small voice. "Because I hope we are. Because I can't stand it when you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Lizzie. I'm just…sorry how everything turned out."

"Then…do you think…we can still be friends?" Lizzie asked hopefully.

Gordo hesitated, then nodded. This was difficult, but at last he said, "I think we can. Sure."

"And maybe…sometime…we could do some things together, maybe hang out? Like we used to?"

Gordo considered and said, "I don't think anything will ever again be like it used to. But maybe someday we could hang out again. I don't know. Let's just wait and see about that for a little while…'kay?"

"Because I've been thinking," Lizzie said, hugging her books close to her chest, "and maybe…maybe I was a bit hasty…you really threw me off balance, coming at me like that so soon after Brett. But everything's calmed down now, and when I think about it—"

"Don't," Gordo said. "Don't even go there, Lizzie. I know you feel bad about everything that happened and you want to make it right. You always want to make everything right for everybody, and that's one of the things I love about you. But this is not going to happen. Not now."

"But…" Lizzie said, biting her lip, "But...Gordo, my life's been so weird without you in it."

Well, whose fault is that? Gordo thought, realizing at once there was still a good deal of bitterness in him. But it didn't feel as toxic as before. It didn't feel insurmountable. He was going to be able to get past this.

"Yeah," he said. "I know what you mean. My life's been weird too. Weird. And different. But sometimes different is not always such a bad thing."

The second bell rang and the few students remaining in the hallway appeared to be sucked into their classroom doors. Gordo and Lizzie were alone.

"Listen," Gordo said. "I'm always going to be your friend, Lizzie, no matter what. You know that, right?"

She nodded, looking down at her books. It seemed she might cry, and Gordo wanted so much to give her a hug and tell her everything was going to be all right, but he wasn't entirely sure he would be able to handle that yet, and anyway, he didn't want to give her the wrong impression.

"Hey," he said gently. "You're gonna be late for class. You should get going. I'll see you around. Okay?"

Gordo turned and walked down the hallway towards his classroom. Lizzie stood there for a few more moments, watching him walk away.

But he did not look back.

"Mr. Gordon," Mr. Minsky announced the moment Gordo appeared in the doorway. "It appears you are late, sir."

"I am late," Gordo agreed. "But at least I'm here. And as Geoffrey Chaucer once said, 'Better late than never.'"

A light giggling ruffled the classroom.

"Thank you for that tidbit of classical literature history," Mr. Minsky said dryly. "Now would you please find a seat and join the rest of the class?"

Gordo looked up, searching for Nicole. He saw her in the back of the class, where she usually sat. She was looking directly at him, her somewhat-green eyes sparkling at him, her mouth set in a cute, crooked grin.

Gordo returned the smile. Her smile leaned to the left, his leaned to the right. Together, they formed one perfect smile.

"Hey…" Gordo whispered as he approached.

Nicole took the books off the empty desk beside her, which she had been saving for him. "Hey, Davey…" she whispered back.

Gordo sat down beside her. If he hadn't been feeling "all tingly inside" before this, he certainly was now. She had called him Davey. She had softened his name to that which only his closest family members called him, and it sounded absolutely natural and unaffected. The fever of his sickness had long since left him, but this tingling sensation increased steadily and pleasantly as Nicole continued to smile at him, scooting her desk a little closer to his.