A/N: The next chapter will bring us back to the present with the baby. Until then, happy reading, leave a review, they make my day. Enjoy.
Chapter 5-Emotions
Much like Olivia did several hours before, Fitz stared towards the window. He was sitting down though, leaning back on his chair, tilting it up, and he was rocking it on its back legs. He could still feel her arms around him, the hug being powerful. There was statement in that hug, and Fitz felt that.
The window was darkened, but he saw some twinkling lights from the Oakland buildings outside. What he saw most though was a small shadow of his reflection. Ironic, because he was finding it hard to look at himself these days. He felt a bit better having seen Olivia's reflection come into view as she pulled her chair closer to him, so she was facing him.
"Have you ever been in a store, a playground, or even at a party and you look around and see that one little boy that wouldn't let go of his mother's leg? He just loves his mother so much that it's hard to be away from her?" Fitz began speaking, he turned and finally faced Liv letting go of the reflections in the window.
Olivia shook her head with a small smile, "Sure, it's cute, and I love how the mom goes about her business despite the third leg she is pulling along."
Fitz smiled nodding his head. "Well at a time in my life, that little boy was me. I couldn't get enough of my mother. She was always there for me, always loving me, hugging me, holding me, and reading to me. She read to me so much by the age of three, I was reading back to her. She was amazing." He stopped and looked down.
"You're speaking of her in the past tense, I am thinking she has passed?" Olivia tilted her head waiting for an answer.
He nodded his head with a yes. "She passed away when I was 7, three days after my birthday. It was cancer, and as weak as she was on my birthday, she still gave me a gift, a book, I still have it. It's not my favorite story, but it was my mom's favorite. The Giving Tree." Again, Fitz stopped and took a hard swallow.
"Aww, I love that book Fitz. The tree gives and gives.."
"And never expects anything in return." Fitz finished for her.
"Yeah, that's a beautiful book."
"Anyway, that's the last memory I have of my mother. God, she was beautiful. Light brown hair, blue eyes, the smoothest skin, the softest hands, she was just beautiful and as any little boy, I never wanted to be away from her. I always heard my father calling her Emma the Emerald, but I would say Memma. It was a mix of mama and Emma." Fitz smirked a bit.
"They loved each other? Your father loved your mother?" Liv asked
"Oh, Livvie, he loved her something special, and her death broke him as much as it broke me. We were both so lost. I had run in from school, my teacher saying I belonged on a third grade reading level instead of the second grade one I was in, and I couldn't wait to tell her. I ran home and my father was…." Fitz swallowed, not being able to continue, eyes filling with tears. "And he was…" He took a deep breath.
Liv put her hand on his knee. She waited for him to gain composure, and she needed some too, because his sadness was causing hers. She put her head down with his.
"I swung the door open to her bedroom waving the certificate in the air and she was gone, just gone. My father grabbed me and held me close, as we cried together. It was the saddest I have ever seen him and the last time I ever saw him cry." Fitz took a deep breath.
They sat in silence for a few moments. Liv was trying to find some words to say. She was beginning to understand why his father kept him so secured. He must be so afraid right now he's lost him. Maybe it was just fear of him being alone if anything happened to Fitz. Being Governor of California is powerful, and a Senator would know having power comes with danger.
"I watched as my father drowned himself in politics. People would come and go from the Governor's mansion and when his term was up, I thought it would end, but the people of California loved him, and he won his seat in the Senate." Fitz shrugged. "Much like your father left after your mom died, mine left through politics. He was hardly around, and I thought by being the best politician I could be, I would win his attention."
"Did your father have secret service following him around?"
"When he was Majority Leader in the Senate, he did, and when he wasn't he kept them around. Then I became mayor of Santa Barbara and he paid to have security on me. I guess he had some death threats, and he didn't want the same for me. I just accepted it, I accepted everything he did, because I wanted his approval."
"You were mayor? You're not that old." Liv reached out and caressed his cheek.
He held her hand and brought it to his lips, it was just instinct, and he gave her a soft kiss. "I was the youngest mayor in the history of Santa Barbara, and that's how I was convinced to run for Governor. It felt good to change things, to give back to the community, and to help those in need. I turned the city around, and it gave me a feeling, a feeling I hadn't felt since I felt my mother's love. Now, here I am, hiding in a hotel room to shake away security detail because I haven't had a moment to myself in over a year. People everywhere trying to bribe me to have me in their corner. I don't want that, I just want to help, not dictate."
"You gave and gave and expected nothing in return, like the Giving Tree." She could tell he was unique, not power hungry, truly a man of the people. Without even realizing, her hand was interlocked with his and he continued. "It's not wrong to want to get away sometimes."
"I met her, well, my father had us meet on a blind date. I was just so excited to finally be dating, and then the pressure was mounting from my campaign team to get a wife. My opponent is happily married with four kids, and they were hesitant thinking I wouldn't be settled enough to focus on the state. So, I am getting married." He rubbed his thumb over her hand and let it go. "Fine man I turned out to be, huh, really making my mother proud." It was sarcastic and sad all at once.
Liv sat on his lap now, she put her hands and interlocked them around the back of his neck, having his eyes focus on hers. "You are a fine man, you're easy to…" she paused. "You're easy to love. Your mother did a wonderful job in the short time she had raising you. You said The Giving Tree wasn't your favorite book, then what is your favorite book?" She was changing the subject now, looking into his eyes, while she smiled, waiting for an answer.
His forehead touched hers. "The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It was the first book I read from front to back and my mother used to call me that because I would always take a bite of something and not finish eating it. She would say I left a hole in food like the caterpillar."
Liv tossed her head back laughing. "Fitz, my gosh, that is adorable, and I love that book also. But you know what, she wasn't wrong, your mom, she wasn't wrong. That caterpillar didn't give a damn about how he looked, how much he ate, he still turned into a beautiful butterfly. That is you Fitz, you are going to be a great Governor and no doubt a great President one day. I see that beauty that you are showing but don't know it's in you. You'll see it too one day." She looked longingly into his eyes now. This time it was her who initiated the kiss, wanting him now, wanting him to feel how special he was.
It was a slow kiss, her legs dangling over the side of the chair over his left leg. His one hand around her waist, the other on her ass. Her hand ruffling through his curls and her other caressing his face. They were pushing into one another, breathing becoming heavy. Suddenly, he stopped and just looked at her.
"What do you have over me woman? You just weaken me in a way, in such a way," and he continued to kiss her because he didn't know what to say. He pulled her shirt off, kissing down the middle of her neck and between her breasts and her lips softly outlined his ear and took a nibble. She felt his shorts expanding, as his erection began to grow, and her body was screaming for him again. This time, though, she didn't care if it was wrong.
He picked her up and wrapped her one leg around his waist and she wrapped the other one around the other side. She now had his face cupped in her hands, holding each cheek in her hands. He sat on the edge of the bed and her moistening core was against his stomach as they remained in a kiss.
She needed to take off her shorts, to take off his boxers, but she didn't want him to stand. She pushed his shoulders, and he fell back on the bed. His back on the bed, his legs hanging off, and Liv pulled his boxers down in one swift motion, "move up" she whispered, and Fitz did as he was told.
Liv climbed beside him, starting just above his engorged dick, seeing it was just as wet as she was. She softly bit on his abs, and Liv heard him grunt. His hand was just resting on her back, letting her take all the control she wanted.
She worked her way up, and kissed across his rib cage, before going up and biting his nipple and licking around it with her tongue. Liv heard a sound, and his mouth was open, eyes closed, and he looked like he was in heaven. It had been the most relaxed she had seen him even more than when she watched him sleep.
She worked her way back down, opposite side of where she worked up, and when she bit his abs again, his body shook a bit, and he let out another weakening breath. His hand held one of hers now, and he was squeezing it, holding in his sexual desire for her.
The warmth of her mouth, her lips, overtaking his dick, and Fitz nearly passed out with the feeling he had go through his body. Her mouth went from top to bottom in slow motion, and on her way up, her tongue came out and he felt it come up to the tip with her mouth.
Small circular movements around the tip using her tongue, and Liv felt Fitz's stomach go down like he was holding his breath. His hand was now on her head, but just resting there, and Liv went down once more, like she did the last.
He pushed her head just a bit, and he was fully in her mouth. She pushed through his hold, grabbed his wrist, and pinned it over his head. His other hand was resting her hip, and for the moment they forgot they were strangers. Liv felt she had known him her whole life, and they just stared at one another.
Liv let his wrist go, and he kept it above his head, and he watched as she slipped off her shorts, his hand moving from her hip just to let them slip down and then he placed it back. She sat straddled on him like that and massaged his chest. "You like this Mr. Grant?"
Eyes closed, head bobbing up and down, and he moaned "mm hmm" as his hand reached her breast. He pulled her down by it and placed it in his mouth as her chin rested on his head. His other hand finally felt how wet she was as she moaned when two fingers slipped easily into her. "You're so wet, geez Livvie, take me already."
Liv's body slid down as his fingers left an emptiness she needed to fill fast. Her hand grabbed his dick, held it straight up, and he watched as she rubbed it all on her juices and guided it into her entrance. Making herself comfortable, throwing her head back, she was steering it like a joystick, so it hit her right where she wanted. He was just deep inside her, and the feeling was heavenly.
"Mmmm, oh, God, Fitz," her head came back up and the bottom half of her body was going back and forth, his hands moving her hips. She was so wet, and her need made her ride faster, her mouth open, and Fitz couldn't take it much longer.
Fitz sat up and they were face to face inches apart, one hand wrapped around her waist, the other around her shoulders. Her one hand ran through his hair. "You're. Sweating. Ahhh." She tried to speak.
"So. Are. You." He felt her back, moist from sweat. As he continued to guide her body back and forth he kissed her between her tits, giving a little bite.
Her bottom lip trapped under her teeth, Fitz watched her, and he was about to groan when suddenly, right before both were ready to climax, there was a loud knock on the door. Liv's mouth fell wide open, she couldn't stop. "Go the fuck away!" She barely got the words out.
Momentum still going, a bit slower, Fitz's forehead lost between her breasts, soaking hair, he heard. "Ma'am, just checking rooms again, sorry to bother you but have you…."
"I haven't seen anyone, go the fuck away, I am not opening the door again." Fitz watched as Liv began rubbing herself, she didn't want this to ruin the moment. Her other hand went to her mouth, and she motioned to Fitz to shhh.
His head went up, closing his eyes tightly, and he nodded his head agreeing with her. "Ma'am, I'm sorry, this is Mr. Grant's fiancé. We're just making sure he isn't hurt somewhere, so if you…."
Liv rode faster, saw Fitz was losing control now. He probably thought hearing his fiancé's voice while he was deep in another woman was quite the turn on. Liv put her hand over his mouth to shut out the breaths and soon to be moan he would let out, as he pushed her back and forth. Liv couldn't believe this was happening.
"I haven't seen him!," she yelled, and planted her lips ravenously on his for a moment. Her hand replacing her lips, she yelled another "I told his father this morning, leave me the hell alone." Liv screamed and her head fell back, letting go of Fitz's mouth. She was lucky she didn't have to speak again, because her orgasm hit and all she had was Fitz's shoulders to anchor her. She fell forward onto his shoulder.
"You are so hot," he whispered, and he emptied himself in her. She rolled off him, sweaty foreheads locked. "That was crazy. You think they are gone?"
She let out a sighed laugh. She shrugged. She didn't know, she didn't care, and she wasn't moving to check.
He looked at her. Fitz put her hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek. "You bring out the little soul I have left me, Livvie." He closed his eyes.
Liv turned to look at him. He was laying with his eyes closed, mouth opened. Her lips fit in his mouth as she turned his head towards her pushing him into the kiss. They stopped. Her head fell to his shoulder. "I can't believe that happened. What horrible timing. Your fiancé? Oh my God, Fitz!" They were both breathing heavy, just staring at each other.
"I can't hide forever. I'm going down there around 3 in the morning. There should only be about four on duty. She'll be sleeping. I just can't keep hiding and I can't keep…" He took a deep breath, "I can keep doing this with you, but it isn't fair, to you."
"I have the Ballard case to work on, then I have some business from home." Her voice drifted off. She had to get back to her life. Fitz was a fantasy she was living out. She couldn't forget Putney and the danger her and Erin were in.
"I used the Ballard case as part of my campaign. Domestic abusers have no business on the streets, Liv. Did they arrest Abby's husband?"
"Not yet." Liv squinted. "But soon, I'll make sure of that piece of shit is rotting in a jail cell."
Liv just looked at him. Her body was spent, the sweat still steaming her body, and she moved some of his hair as it was sticking to his forehead. "Well, we have two hours then, let's find out some things about each other before you go back." She didn't want to think about fake tears Barbie knocking on doors. She didn't want her to have him.
Facing reality is something Liv didn't want to do just yet, but she couldn't hide either. She had to focus on how she was going to manipulate the Ballard case and how she was going to get Chip arrested. The bastard was still walking free, and Abby was dead, she had to focus. Erin, Liv's adopted momma, was counting on her for justice for her Abby girl.
"What's your favorite fruit to eat?" They just looked at each other now, not touching, laying on their side. Liv waited for his answer.
"Cherry." Fitz smirked. "A nice juicy cherry."
Liv felt a laugh she hadn't felt in two weeks. "You are shameless." She pushed his shoulder, "Fitz."
"What? You asked, I answered. What's your favorite color? I have only seen you in brown." He rubbed her skin, his eyebrows going up.
Liv shook her head. "White, I slay in white. You should see me in the courtroom in white."
"I can see that, although you would look hot in anything, and nothing."
"If you weren't a politician, what would you be when you grow up."
"A dad, a stay-at-home dad." Fitz's eyes got watery. "I want to bring my kids to dance class, to soccer practice, and pack their lunches for school. I want to be a father so badly, Liv."
Liv nodded understanding his need. Abby wanted so much to be a mother. She had such hope for her unborn child. She never got the chance.
"You would make Emma a proud grandmother." Liv smiled.
"You remembered her name." Fitz was impressed.
"Of course I did, it's a beautiful name."
"My mom would have loved you." Fitz smiled a smile that melted Liv's heart.
"Aww, Fitz." She rubbed his shoulder.
"If you have a baby, what would you name him or her?"
"Hmm," Liv thought, "hoping that doesn't happen, but if it does, I'll name her Carolyn, my middle name and I'd name a him." She stopped and looked at him. "Grant, I'd name him Grant. What's your middle name?"
"Thomas."
"Grant Thomas Pope, that's it because if I ever get married, which I seriously doubt, I'm not taking my husband's name, so Pope it is."
Fitz felt a wave of jealousy go through him. He didn't want her with anyone else, but she wasn't his, and he couldn't dictate to her. "Oh, and how would you explain that name?"
Liv shrugged. "I like presidential names. Grant and Thomas, they were both presidents right. What about you, what do you name your him or her?"
"A girl, Olivia."
"Oh really, Olivia. Why not Emma after your mother?"
"Olivia Emma Grant."
"And how do you explain Olivia to your wife?"
"I'll think of something. A boy, though, my dad would want Fitzgerald the Fourth, but I think I would go with Theodore, Teddy for short."
Then the silence overtook them again. Liv took a deep breath.
"What's her name Fitz? Your fiancé, what's her name?"
"Mellie, short for Melody."
"Mellie" Liv repeated. She liked Fake Tears Barbie better as her name. "She's looking for you too."
Both him and Liv nodded at the same time. "I know".
"You have to go." She said.
"Why do you have a bat?" he wanted to forget about going for now.
Liv turned away from him. She stared up at the ceiling. "I have it to protect myself. I would rather a bat than a gun. A gun kills too fast, a bat makes you suffer." She realized how sadistic that sounded.
"Who do you need protection from?"
Liv licked her lips. She shook her head, as tears began to burn her eyes. She closed them and saw Abby's bruised face, then her bloody hair, then her dead eyes, and she turned to Fitz. "I did some horrible things to some powerful people. Let's just say I have to watch my back."
Fitz's lips went tight. He wanted to comfort her, to protect her, but he couldn't. She couldn't even look at him now, while telling him this. "Livvie." He rubbed her shoulder.
"I'm fine. I have Huck. Huck is a former CIA operative. I took him off the street, he was homeless. He protects me, us, me and Erin. We just couldn't protect Abby, just some miscommunication and we both blame ourselves."
"But why bring a bat all the way to California with you? You think you're being followed?" Fitz suddenly realized why she didn't trust iPhones and strange people delivering room service.
"I'm just being careful, cautious." She didn't want to talk about it anymore. She turned to him. "I understand now why your father is worried Fitz. He doesn't want to lose you. He lost your mother, you're all he has left of her, don't make him worry any longer."
Fitz reluctantly nodded in agreement. "I'll take a shower, then." He paused, looking at her. "Then, I'll go."
Liv sat up. She walked over by table to grab her shirt. "Ok."
"Will I ever see you again?"
Liv shrugged. "I really don't know Fitz."
He walked over to her, not bothering to put any clothes on. She turned to him.
She hugged him, once again burying her face in his neck. She couldn't fight the feeling inside, she tried, but she couldn't. He made her feel so good, so happy, something she hadn't felt in years. "I love you" she whispered in the softest whisper, taking in his smell, not thinking she said it loud enough to hear because how crazy would that be, she just met him, but he brought out feelings inside her she hadn't felt, ever.
He heard it, she thought he didn't, but he did. He headed into the bathroom. His clothes were still in there, and he closed the door and started the shower.
Big Gerry hung up the phone when he saw Mellie approaching. "Any luck?"
With her teeth grinded, she sat down in frustration. "No, no luck and what good are they?" She nodded towards the three security details she had with her. "They wouldn't open any doors."
"We have to wait. It hasn't been a full 48 hours. We'll do that when the time comes. No need to put the hotel in a position where they have lawsuits to deal with. I am working on it. The important thing is he isn't hurt on a stairwell or anything." Big Gerry was worried deep down, this wasn't like Fitz. He wasn't going to let Mellie know though.
"This wedding has to go on Gerry. He needs to be Governor; we are too far ahead right now to let this detour everything." Her hand hit the table. "Where the hell could he be?"
"The wedding will go off as planned. I just spoke to Crystal over at the ranch, she's getting calls every minute confirming the attendance. Moving it up isn't stopping anyone from coming. Stop worrying."
The talk of California right now was the wedding of it's future Governor. Everyone loved a love story with a fairy tale wedding. Nothing could go wrong; Big Gerry was well aware of that. If something did go wrong, Crenshaw, Fitz's opponent will be all over it. Big Gerry smiled at Mellie.
Mellie turned to him, her face a worried mess. "Big Gerry, do you think he found out about the doctor's visit I had the other day? Maybe he had someone follow me?" Mellie's hand went to her mouth, and she was brushing her lips with her finger, nervously.
"Nonsense, Fitz would never have you followed, and I told you, you're getting a second opinion. We'll find a way to have you pregnant after his election."
"I can't get pregnant, I told you what the doctor said, I have endometriosis. It's not going to happen; this isn't something I can fake."
"And we cross that plateau when we get to it. Just let's get through the wedding first. Why don't you go to your room, get some rest? If he shows up or we find him I'll call you, then we'll get him in front of the cameras, and you'll be the cutest couple, not jealous at all over his bachelor party. Don't make things obvious, anyone can be press walking around."
Mellie rubbed her eyes. Big Gerry was right, she needed some sleep. Fitz was fine, she was confident, she'll have him back soon, then she'll become Mrs. Grant and soon the First Lady of California. "Good night." She headed to the elevators. She wasn't worried about Fitz not being found, she was worried how Gerry thought she'd be able to pull off a pregnancy, something that could never happen to her. She couldn't tell Fitz, all he ever wanted was to father children.
Big Gerry watched Mellie walk away. He was about to bark some orders out when his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. "Jax, how are you my good man?"
"Wanted to thank you for the favor. The guy was perfect for the job."
"Good, good, glad to be of help. Sorry your boy couldn't make it out here for the bachelor party, but you're good for the wedding next week, right?"
"Yep, the two of us wouldn't miss it for the world. Tell Fitz we are looking forward to seeing him hitched. Once again, thanks for coming through Big Gerry."
"Anytime, and remember whatever you used Boozer for, he's good to stay quiet about it and if it was illegal, you need to stay quiet about it, I don't want to know. See you next week."
Three security detail were now waiting for further orders. Big Gerry pulled out a list. He began reading off numbers of guest rooms that had patrons but hadn't answered the knock. "Go to those first and use the master key. It's close to 2 am, anyone you barge in on will hopefully be sleeping. Begin there, and report back." He watched them go off.
Big Gerry sat down. He rubbed both his hands through his hair. "Where are you son?" he whispered. "I hope you're just taking some time for yourself." Big Gerry just sat with his cup of coffee anxiously awaiting for some good news to come his way.
Liv stood by the window front, hearing the water from the shower and watching the lights from the city outside. What happened to her this weekend? Fitz was nobody to her a day ago, now she was wondering how to go on without him.
He made her feel alive again, laugh again, have sexual desires again, how could she just walk away? She closed her eyes and shook her head. "You knew what you were getting into when you slept with him the first time.", she whispered to her reflection. She folded her arms around herself, already missing his touch.
She heard buzzing and realized the burner phone was ringing on the desk next to her laptop and paperwork.
"Huck. What's going on, it's really early there."
"They got her, well he got her. Jax, not Chip, Jax got her. He hired someone to do the dirty work." His voice was shaking, but anger shaking, not fear shaking. "Erin, it's Erin, Liv."
Liv tried to find breath, tried to find words, anything. "She's dead?" Her sob came out as she covered her mouth.
"No, not dead. She has a broken leg, sprained wrist and a concussion. She was on her way home from bowling with her league. Her bodyguard was hit from behind, two broken kneecaps."
"A fucking message to me, I assume?" Liv closed her eyes. Erin, momma, she had to remain calm.
"The doctor is coming, let me go. Oh, and Liv, check your email, I found something on that Grant guy you asked about. I'll call you back." The line went dead.
Liv opened her laptop. She took a deep breath. She isn't dead, she isn't dead, she had to keep telling herself that to remain calm. She blinked some tears away so she could see the email Huck sent her.
"Momma." Liv needed to be there for her, Jake Ballard be damned. While her email was loading, she covered her eyes with her hand. She should have called momma, told her stay in. No, she had to be too busy falling in love with a stranger. "I failed you too, Momma."
She heard the water stop and she had to compose herself. She put her emotions way back, willing the tears away. She wiped her tears on her shirt, lifting it from the bottom and letting it fall.
Fitz opened the bathroom door, towel around his waist again, clothes in hand, and the other hand rubbing his wet hair with another towel.
Liv looked at him, trying to hide her sadness, but her thoughts were on one person right now, and it wasn't Fitz. She smiled a small smile and he smiled back.
"What, you're googling me?" he said smiling. "Although that's an old picture, that was about 4 years ago." Fitz was eyeing the computer screen.
Liv, not realizing the email loaded looked at her screen. Her eyes widened and she stood up, backing away from Fitz.
"Livvie, what is it? I don't look that bad, do I? Oh wait, the guy I'm with, yeah, he would scare anyone. We go way back."
She pointed to the screen. "How the hell do you know Chip Putney?"
Fitz eyebrows crossed. "Chip? How do you know his nickname? Everyone calls him Charles. He's itching to be my Lt. Governor. His father and my father…." Fitz stopped seeing the way Liv was looking at him.
"That's Abby's husband, Fitz. Chip was Abby's husband." Her eyes filled with fear. "Is he here for the bachelor party?"
"No, he couldn't make it, what do you mean her husband? Chip has never been married. He has a different girl every week." Fitz laughed.
Liv sat back down, not even looking at Fitz. "You need to go. His father had Abby's mother attacked tonight. She's in the hospital." When she didn't hear Fitz moving, she turned to him. "YOU NEED TO FUCKING LEAVE FITZ!" Liv couldn't look at him, and just began sobbing into her hands.
A feeling of numbness came over Fitz's body. He stood there in deep confusion. Shaking his head, he was trying to think of the Putney's. Liv may not be far off, but he couldn't just walk out on her like this, could he? He took a step "Liv", he whispered.
"LEAVE!" She grabbed the phone and walked passed Fitz and fell face first into the pillow on the bed, not going to lift her head until she heard the door close, and she was certain Fitz was gone, out of her life for good.