03/18/21

So many of you were right in your predictions, bravo! The best reviews by far were from CarolinaGrace and SofiaGarcia, major LOL vibes.

CHAPTER FIVE - Your Mama is a Ma'am

One week before the wedding

I lean back and crack open the last fortune cookie after our dinner of chinese takeout and a full day of moving our entire life from Portland into this new apartment.

A dubious friend may be an enemy in camouflage.

"So ominous." I mutter to myself before chuckling.

"What?" I hand Jose the fortune and his brow furrows before shaking his head and throwing it in one of the empty takeout containers.

"The one before said Error: Fortune not found." I laugh and cuddle into him but he remains a little stiff. Lately he's been a ball of tension with all these investor and pitch meetings. Some go well and some don't but he takes the bad ones a little too seriously. Gaia on the other hand just goes with the flow and remains centered. She always sees the bigger picture.

"Damn, 12 you have so much crap." I joke, trying to lighten the mood as I look around the living area with the mountain of boxes that surround us.

12 was Jose's number on the team back in highschool when he was the quarterback. I lost my voice many times screaming out with the crowd every Friday night to cheer them on.

"You have your books, I have my crap." He says lightly and rubs my back but I see he's still lost in thought.

I tilt my head up and look at him, moving to kiss his neck and whisper in his ear, giggling. "You know, they say that the best way to make a place really yours is to have sex room in every room. After these past few weeks we deserve some fun. Time to christen the apartment, fiance!"

He sighs, unaffected to my charms and I immediately know he's going to say no. "I'd love to but I need to spend some time coding. I haven't done any work on the app today. I need to implement the feedback from the conference before the wedding and honeymoon because when we're back we have to dive into meetings again."

I bite my lip and pull away, nodding with tight smile. "Do your thing, I need to go work on the wedding favors."

"It won't always be like this." He says after a few moments of heavy and uncomfortable silence and kisses my temple before getting up to get his computer and start his night owl routine.

As I work on the favors in our room, I do a mental recap of our finances, I hate being that person, sometimes I think I'll wake up with grey hair overnight from all this thinking and worrying. This morning I noticed four different young families with children under the age of 5. Maybe I can put up fliers for babysitting gigs. There's a coffeeshop down the block too, i'll check there as well just in case.

Right now any little money that's coming in from what we make after essential bills is going straight to the startup for operating costs, traveling to and admission to conferences, paying freelance sub-contractors.

It won't always be like this, I repeat Jose's words to myself.

I suddenly wake up and I realize I fell asleep on the floor. I move and feel a kink in my neck and grunt at the pain. Finding my bearings I get up and stretch a little. Jose still hasn't come to bed, I notice so I walk out of the bedroom calling for him to call it night since it's close to 3am but his laptop is on the table, closed.

Odd.

I go to find my phone and call him, he picks up on the third ring.

"Hey, where'd you go?" I yawn.

"Uh.. I went—I went up to the roof for some fresh air… yeah." He says a little hesitantly.

Now I'm worried. "You sound odd, what happened?"

"Nothing, Mi Vida, I was just doing some breathing exercises. I was stressing the fuck out so I—- yeah, I came up to get some fresh air." The words rush out of him and I rub my eyes trying to make sense of what he's saying in my sleepy haze.

"Okay, well… don't stay up there too long. Come back down and cuddle with me, you work too much, 12."

He clears his throat. "Yeah, a few more minutes and I'll be done."

"Love y—." But the line goes dead before I even finish my sentence.

Rolling my eyes, I drag my feet back to our room and crawl into bed falling asleep almost immediately, dreaming of a life when we won't struggle so much and actually enjoy each other.

I grimace at the memory and my stupidity. So fucking blind.

"Anotha one." I giggle-snort-hiccup, tapping my glass on the bar. I feel like DJ Khaled... Except, he would never be in this position. He lives the high key life. Now I want to cry again. DJ Khaled would be so disappointed in me right now. Forgive me for I played myself. I didn't watch my back, I didn't dry my back and now I'm out in this cold and empty world.

WOE

IS

ME.

I trust too easy. Now I'm never trust again.

Isn't there a Dionne Warwick song about this? I idly wonder.

"Ma'am I think that's enough for tonight. I'm cutting you off." The bartender tells me. The nerve of this Jim-jimmy, Joe-schmoe! I squint and try to read his name and I see that it's Alex… not even in the same zip code but whatever.

"Your Mama is a Ma'am. I'm 22, brokenhearted and got left at the altar. Get it right." I scold him and slide off the stool, almost losing my footing but I steady myself. He gives me my card back and I leave a tip. "Never get married, Alex." He gives me a patient smile and holds up his hand to reveal his wedding band. Wait till they play you sucka!

I stand next to the bar looking around the room and see people staring at me. I look down and notice I'm still in this god awful dress. His mother chose this dress, of course she did. I half suspect she insisted on paying just so she could have the final say in choosing this cheap and ugly monstrosity. I look like a rejected wedding cake. Rejected bride who didn't even get to eat her own wedding cake, tears pool in my eyes at the thought. I was really looking forward to the cake.

I need to get tested asap. I may not have had sex in a month but god knows how long they've been doing it for. I don't want the crabs or their family and friends taking up residence like squatters in my neglected, abandoned and now dying garden.

I even got all my bits waxed for this lying, cheating, manipulative asshole and that shit hurt and cost a lot of money. I want my time, my money and my pain receptors back. I want my heart fixed.

I want to scream bloody murder right now.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." I sneer at the crowd of onlookers and wobble my way out of the bar area towards the main lobby in search of the elevators. All that awaits me is an empty hotel room that he paid for, probably some lukewarm champagne and choc—oh wait, the beds will probably have those mini welcome chocolates. I need to get rid of the taste of all this mixed alcohol on my tastebuds and circulating through my bloodstream before I die or something. Maybe I should order some Dominos? I'm hungry. But the question that stops me is, am I allowed to order Dominos in a fancy place like this? Ain't no way I can afford room service.

A few hours earlier

"I AM GOING TO KICK HIS SORRY ASS RIGHT AFTER I'M DONE WITH YOURS." I hear Dad yell at the top of his lungs before other voices come in to try and calm the situation.

Dad continued yelling at Jose Sr. (they were buddies in the army too) and his mother Elizabeth. They look ashamed and shocked. Kate helps me off of the floor, wiping my tears and takes me to the bridal suite as I leave behind a shouting match that gets louder and louder, echoing throughout the space.

A lot of fucks flew in the air and I wondered if the Priest had a moral dilemma about what was taking place in the boss' house or did he go straight for the liquor to watch this shitshow given how stuff probably gets boring and repetitive up in there. I honestly would not blame him.

I snatch off my veil, throw it to the ground and go to grab my clutch that has my phone, ID, debit and credit card in it.

"I'm leaving, Kate." I tell her, with my voice heavy and out of breath. "I need to be alone."

"No babe, don't. Come back to my place. I've got the guest room. Cool off and we'll figure out what to do." She tries her best to convince me but I can't be around anyone right now so, I call myself an Uber to get the fuck out of here.

"Whenever you wanna nuke his ass, just let me know. I'll rip him to shreds and help you bury the body." Kate says and I nod with a wry smile, kissing her cheek before heading out of the Church. Goodbye God, you have let me down.

The only place I can truly be alone is at the hotel booked for tonight.

All evening I ignored calls from everyone. I texted Dad promising him that I was fine and just needed some time on my own. Reluctantly giving up my location, I made him take a solemn vow to not come here along with keeping my whereabouts a secret. Kate knew too but told me I could come by anytime if it got too much and I believed her but I wanted to be miserable by myself for a while.

Enter the bar at the Fairmont.

Once I reach the elevator bank, I stand at a considerable distance from the people in front of me. My dress has its own zip code so I need to be mindful of creeping in on anyone's personal space. The doors ping signalling the arrival of two elevators and the doors ceremoniously open, so I walk in straight to the back and lean my body against the corner after pressing the button for my floor, silently willing the other human being to not look at me or talk to me with their 'congratulations you got married' cause I will seriously cut a bitch right now.

Staring down at the carpet, I brace myself for further disappointment that will accompany me for the rest of the night. The elevator begins to move and I start to get a weird feeling in my gut. God, I need food.

A few seconds later, I hear a loud noise followed by the shaking of the elevator after an abrupt halt that knocks me slightly off balance. The lights flicker but thankfully stay on but all around is deadly silence except for the rustle and drag of my dress.

Great! Got left at the altar and gets stuck in an elevator.

Bravo, Universe. Keep it coming.

I'M WIDE OPEN.

A/N: It's gonna get weirder and weirder. Longer chapters will be ahead, I promise. Some may be too long, we'll see. Btw, aside from my one story where Kate is the villain, I'm always Team Kate (even in canon) for Ana!

Can't wait to read what you're all thinking!

Last update for this week. See you on Monday, 3/22/21.