03/23/2021

To the guest reviewer who asked if they could post a 100 reviews to get the new chapter last night: I see you... u sneaky, lol

I'm so happy you all enjoyed the last chapter. However this one was my absolute favorite to write. We are not done with Ana's drunkisms yet. I posted a question on facebook asking what question anyone wanted Drunk Ana to ask CG. I went with CasketAlways2009's but have to absolutely mention Tracy Johnson whose question actually broke me cause I just couldn't work it into the chapter, lol!

This story isn't going to be angsty as my other ones, I know I made it seem like that with the first chapter but we're at the turning point now. Hashtag lolvibes from here on out, fo sho.

Without further ado, let's continue on this roller coaster, shall we?

CHAPTER SEVEN - Can we ride in your batmobile?

CPOV

After making a call to room service to send up some food, I wait on the couch in the living area for Anastasia to join me. Curiosity gets the best of me again so I email Welch to find out everything he can about Miss Steele and her life. Just as I finish typing and press send, she enters my periphery. I look up and freeze at the sight.

Yes she's still in that horrible dress but her hair is now loose and she's completely and utterly beautiful even with a red and puffy face.

"What? Is something still left on?" She whimpers and starts to aggressively wipe her face.

"N-no," I shake my head and gesture for her to take a seat next to me. "Please, sit."

Instead she takes a seat on the couch opposite from me but doesn't say anything and opts to silently look around the room while silent tears fall from her face.

"I ordered some food that will soak up the alcohol and hopefully help with combating the hangover you'll have tomorrow."

She nods and just idly stares out into space again with sadness etched on her face. I figure if I keep her engaged a little it may improve her mood and also answer some burning question that I now have. She gives short one word answers, sounding lifeless as she does. I find that she's from Montesano and went to WSU in Vancouver, graduating last year and is starting a job at SIP in two weeks. Interesting because we finalized the deal last month with them. The news is embargoed for another week however.

The food arrives and she meekly thanks me before eating the plate with steak with mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables, eating slowly and a little distractedly. It's like watching a small delirious child struggle. She is the picture of exhaustion right now.

"I didn't even get to try the food. I paid so much for that crap, all I wanted was to try the shrimp, I LOVE shrimp cocktails and now it's all gone to waste and I won't get a refund." She finally shares.

"I can order some if you'd like?" I offer but she shakes her head and shoves a forkful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.

"Promise me something Christian!" She points her fork at me with a serious face, still chewing. "Never get married. Cause she will leave you at the altar... actually she might not—you got a pretty boy vibe going on. But just remember to keep it cheap cause you won't get a refund if she turns out to be a lying, cheating and disgusting whore."

"Trust me, Anastasia. I don't ever intend to get married." I chuckle.

"YOU ARE SO SMART!" She pouts and begins to cry again. "WEDDINGS ARE MONEY PITS, CHRISTIAN. Bad investment. I didn't go to business school but I went to real life experience school. Trust me."

"Oh, I trust you, alright."

Damn, she's bugging out like a live twitter feed. Just blasting out thoughts from the abyss of her mind. Am I an asshole for actually enjoying this?

She picks up one of the lids to see what else is there to eat and finds a slice of chocolate cake and begins to cry again.

"I was so excited about my cake. Didn't even get to try that. WASTED. Like my time, money and life."

"What kind of cake did you have?"

"Chocolate, like this one. But this looks better. Do you want some?" She takes a bite and looks at me with hopeful eyes. I shake my head. "Good! More for me, thanks."

I cover my mouth in a discreet attempt to not laugh. I may have wanted to be balls deep in another woman tonight but hell, this is better. A fully clothed woman making me laugh with a strong appetite for food? I think, no I'm definitely turned on. This is so unusual.

"I mean I don't even have any fucks to give anymore cause if I had, I'd fuck myself given how he was so lacking in that department." She sniffs and looks at me again, with a mouthful of chocolate cake. I point out that she has a little chocolate on the corner of her mouth and she licks it off. I know she's completely uninhibited and not at all trying to be sexy but hell, that visual made my pants get a little tighter. Those lips need to be sampled. Now I'm wondering about the body that's hiding underneath that dress.

Get a grip, Grey.

Her soft voice snaps me out of my silent sensual exploration of who she is.

"Do you know he couldn't even satisfy me? I had to fake my orgasms sometimes. I THOUGHT THAT WAS TRUE LOVE, making your partner feel better about their shortcomings. HAH. He was short and the only one coming." She sniffs again. She's never been satisfied? Oh the possibilities! But she's vanilla and that in itself is drama. "But it was nothing but true loss, Christian." She cries and hurriedly takes her phone out. "I need to make a tinder account. I need to get out there."

This is a trainwreck that's never gonna stop. I should send her to therapy as a "I got left at the altar" present. It's America, anything can be celebrated, mourned or gifted for whatever reason.

"How about you put your phone away and focus on finishing your food?" I distract her and she takes the bait. "How much money did you spend on this wedding?"

She wipes her nose with the back of her hand and begins to tear up again. "I used $10,000 of my own money and put the rest on my credit cards. I'm up to my eyeballs in debt." Looking down at her hand she grimaces and leans forward over the cart, showing me her left hand. "This was the shitty ass ring he gave me, promising to buy a nice one that I was deserving of when the money came in." She violently takes it off and throws it with a force over my head into some obscure corner of the room. To be fair, it was a shitty ass ring, a woman as beautiful as her deserved to be dripping in diamonds.

Hope she finds a man like that.

Or you could be that man, Grey?

"No I can't." I murmur.

"What?" She asks.

I said that out loud, fuck! "Nothing, I meant, you're right you deserve much better."

She nods and goes back to the cake when her phone pings, checking it she gasps and begins to sob.

"H-he just changed the tickets and he's flying out tonight… WITH HER. I got the notification on my email just now. That was supposed to be us. DO YOU KNOW HE MADE ME BUY OUR HONEYMOON ON GROUPON." She shrieks.

"What's that?"

"Groupon is for regular people like us. All-inclusive shit and relatively affordable, unlike this." She sniffs and points around the room. "I didn't even want a wedding. I told him we could go to City Hall and then spend money on a honeymoon to Europe. I've never left the country and I really wanted to go. But noooo, he wanted to save money so we decided Punta Cana... well you know what, he can go Punta fuck himself and that whore, Gaia. I hope they get crabs, eels and seaweed up their holes and DIE."

I resist the urge to laugh again. "Don't you mean puta?"

She looks at me incredulously at first but then her face breaks into a smile followed by giggles, falling into the couch and into a subsequent laughing fit. The sound is glorious, contagious actually and makes me automatically smile. I get up and check on her since her face is out of view but as I reach her, the laughing subsides and she's silently crying, staring at the ceiling and looking incredibly heartbroken. It affects me on a deeper level that it surprises me.

"I'm so pathetic, Christian." She whispers brokenly. "I'm sorry, I ruined your night too."

The sincerity in her voice pulls at me and I offer her my hand to help her sit up, while taking a seat next to her.

"It's definitely been an unusual night." I begin. "But, not ruined, not by a mile" I smile and reach to take a bite of the cake.

"I lost my two best friends. 7 years of friendship just gone." She quietly whimpers, looking down at her knotted hands before looking back up at me. " Do you have a best friend?"

Her innocence is disarming in this moment and her bright blue eyes pull me in a little deeper. Her gaze upon me feels like the glare of a spotlight yet also like the warmth of a spring sun. She's looking right through me, there is no ulterior motive unlike the women who covet eye contact in an effort to arouse and convince me that they're worth the plunge into the abyss of love and a relationship—no these aren't scrutinizing me or assessing me, they are just looking at me with gentle curiosity and wonder.

She asked you a question, you wannabe lovesick poet. Snap out of it.

I swallow the lump in my throat and blink away the momentary detour my mind went on.

Do I have a best friend? I've never really thought of that notion.

"I suppose my brother would qualify as that." Elliot is the only person I share anything personal with if I ever do decide to. Mia in a pinch but her excitement cannot be trusted.

"You have a sibling? You're so lucky." She looks away from me and stares out into the room lost in thought for a few moments, I feel bereft at losing the visual of those baby blues. "I don't have any siblings. I'm all alone. I only have Dad and one day he will be gone too." A tear rolls down her cheek but she quickly wipes it away. "But I have Kate, she's my only friend now. I hope it stays that way because I don't like being alone. It gets really lonely."

I stare at her profile and really study her delicate features. Sure her face is red and blotchy but there's still a lot of life in all of her, in spite of those wounded eyes that are bright as the sunniest and clearest of skies. Her laugh is warm and inviting and I silently wonder how many times she's cried over this low-life.

How dare he!

Woah there, Grey.

She doesn't deserve to be alone. How could anyone want to leave a beautiful woman like this? I know she's drunk and heartbroken but in these bouts of raw truth that she shares I can see she's completely and utterly devoted to those she loves.

Love.

The culprit.

She's young, she'll recover.

"Do you know he chose a dumbass Ed Sheeran song for our first dance? I mean who the fuck says no to Frank?" I'm suddenly snapped out of my deep exploration of thoughts that are entirely focused on her.

I chuckle. "No one does it better than Sinatra."

"I know right?" She says. "The song he chose said I will be loving you till we're 70 but the fucker ditched me at 22." Pausing for a few seconds she looks back at me. "New rule, anyone who fights you on Frank, ditch their ass. Promise me!" She holds out her pinky finger.

Her expression is that of complete determination and I can't help but smile as I wrap my pinky with hers. "I promise."

She lets go all too soon and goes back to eating the cake, we sit silently as she does and then suddenly, she continues on to have her bursts of revelations about the failed wedding. Each one is funnier and entertaining than the last.

"Why do you pay for sex?" She asks after taking the last bite of cake and reaching for the water.

Oh fuck, I didn't want to talk about myself. I'll eventually have her sign an NDA so I guess I can give her vague answers.

"Who said I pay for sex?" I test her comprehension, hopefully she'll back off and talk about something else.

"That woman was super hot and wouldn't have walked out so calmly if you hadn't paid her. I may be drunk but I'm not blind or completely incapacitated. I'm just saying shit I would usually never say."

Truth serum, indeed.

"I'm guessing you were sober for 99% of your relationship with this fucker who ditched you today."

"Sober me is blind as a bat and gullible as a baby." She pouts and begins to cry. "That's why they kept me sober. It all makes sense now."

"You said you were in love, that was the problem."

She looks at me earnestly after my declaration. "Have you ever been in love, Christian?"

"No I haven't." I answer truthfully.

Love is too much work and a shitload of drama, case in point this night.

She sniffs. "I don't think I've been either."

"What do you mean?"

"What happened today, I'm more pissed at the betrayal and the humiliation. I think I'm okay with him not loving me but I wish he had told me. I think I would've understood. That way I just would've screamed at Jane Austen and co. He was just my first and only for everything but… I don't think I loved him in the way I was supposed to. I had love for him but I didn't love him... I just got caught up because someone wanted me and I've never been wanted by a guy. Does that make sense?" She looks at me again for confirmation, wiping a tear from her cheek and I get lost in her eyes again for a moment too long before snapping out of it and nodding in understanding.

How could any guy not want you?

"In that case, you dodged a bullet." I assure her.

She shrugs and wipes her face. "I would rather it have been before I lost my savings." Picking up her phone again, she unlocks it and goes to her camera roll to show me a selfie of herself with the two culprits.

She looks happy and full of joy, completely unaware of the deception against her. Like a lamb being led to slaughter… okay, that's a little sinister, Grey.

"Look at us, we were the three musketeers. Now I'm a muske-nothing." She sobs. "Kate is going to make a bad threesome joke about all this. I know it."

"Well, then she's not a good friend."

"No she is, she just likes using humor because life is horrible and we need to laugh." She sniffs and puts her phone away then looks at me again with her beguiling blue eyes that are tired from the day and the tears. "Have you ever been in a threesome? You probably never got left out." The earnestness of her expression and the hilarity of her question has me toeing the line of whether or not I should erupt in boisterous laughter or actually give an answer.

"Threesomes are too much work and I don't like to share." I opt for a version of honesty but fail to hide my smirk.

She takes in my answer but doesn't really react. Instead she looks away and her eyes scan the room while her finger plays with a lock of hair, wrapping it around and letting it uncoil.

"I know why he loves Gaia... I'm boring old Ana, not adventurous at all. Always following the rules and worrying. Who wants that for the rest of their life when they can have a girl who is exciting and sticks a finger up your butt during sex." I cough in an effort to not laugh and she carries in complete seriousness. "I mean would you want to sleep with me? No, right? Who actively seeks out boredom?"

"That depends on who makes an appearance; the drunk raccoon or the angry badger?" I say without missing a beat.

She blinks and seems to really contemplate on what I've asked and nods idly.

"I guess I would have to discuss it with them." She sniffs and answers thickly. I bite my cheek to maintain a serious expression and nod in agreement.

After a few moments of silence she looks at me again. "I bet she was fucking him last night. She told me she had to go on a walk but I caught her sneaking in and she said she had car sex with Sam."

"Who's Sam?"

"Her boyfriend."

Lying sacks of shit.

"I'm sorry this happened to you." I offer, secretly wanting to comfort and hold her which takes me by surprise. She doesn't say anything but shrugs while her body sags in defeat.

I ask if there's a bag in her room and she tells me she's not sure if anyone dropped it off before the wedding. Taking her key, I call Taylor who's on standby and ask him to bring it up here. I might as well keep an eye on her, god knows what she'll get up to if she's alone then when she's asleep, I'll leave for the night and alert reception to keep the room under my name for another day and bill me for anything additional should she decide to stay another day.

I may not believe in love but I agree that no one deserves to be humiliated or cheated on especially when they're devoted to you. Maybe if I didn't have baggage, I'd get a shot at some normalcy too? Except now, it's out of the question. After all the hard work and success I've had, no one can be trusted. All they want is the money.

"Is he your butler?" She asks once I hang up the call.

I snort a laugh. "No, he's my secu—."

Suddenly her face lights up and her eyes widen before I even finish my sentence. "OH HE'S YOUR ALFRED? YOU ARE BATMAN?! Can we ride on your batmobile?"

Oh, she's actually serious?

Good grief, this woman is something else. I try my best not to laugh but I fail. Taylor comes up to get the key from Anastasia and returns shortly thereafter informing us that there was no bag in the room.

I tell her she can help herself to a robe in the bathroom and have the bed. As I'm waiting, I get an email from Welch with detailed background checks on Anastasia, Jose and Gaia. Before I open to read it I hear a scream from the bathroom.

"I HATE THIS DRESS. THIS FUCKING DRESS."

The door violently swings open and Anastasia rushes towards me with tears running down her face and robe in her hand.

"You need to help me take this shit off. I can't reach the back." She whines and sobs. I'm a little unsure but nod and she turns her back towards me only to quickly spin around and look at me."Do you want to wear gloves? The material looks toxic." She looks down to my hands and grabs one to inspect it. "You have nice hands, you don't want to get a rash." I feel the familiar tingle run up my arms but before I can fully understand it she lets go and turns her back to me again.

This woman is the definition of whiplash.

I help unzip the back of her dress and it feels incredibly intimate, suddenly I realize I've never done this with a woman. They've always been undressed and in position. Stuff like this seemed like a waste of time. Her skin starts to peak out of the fabric as I pull the zip downward till her pale pink bustier corset comes into view and it takes everything in me to suppress a groan.

Josè is a dumb fuck for walking out on this. Sure, she's a little crazy but hell this smooth as silk skin and what I can tell is a beautiful body, is sin. You're not allowed to touch! Yet, at this moment I'd give anything for a feel and taste.

I clear my throat and rid myself of any lingering sexual thoughts.

"There, done."

Instead of walking back to the bathroom she starts, literally ripping the dress off of her and a few seconds later it pools at her feet and she stomps out of the cheap fabric and FUCK. ME. SIDEWAYS, this woman is a goddess. Hair open, in lingerie still wearing her silver heels. Her ass in that matching thong? There is a god and he is laughing his ass off right now.

It is really not my night.

Two women, the former fully naked, the current clad in sexy as hell lingerie while I am standing here trying not to cry at how I am not getting any tonight. Christian Grey, 28, unlucky and unfucked— twice in one night. Elliot would never let me live this down.

I watch her don the robe and take off her shoes, then walk back to pick up the dress from off of the floor.

"Where do you think I can throw or burn this?" She asks in all seriousness.

"Maybe you can get a refund on it?"

Scoffing at the question, she mutters. "Oh no! His mother paid for and forced this shit on me. She doesn't deserve a refund after what her whoring son did to me." She's entered the murderous stage of drunkenness. "Besides, no one else deserves my bad luck. It's my responsibility to make sure it ends with me."

I tell her to leave it in a ball on the floor to the side so that no one trips on it and that she can deal with it in the morning when she's feeling a little better. She agrees and walks back, crawling into bed only to start crying again. The isn't wailing or whining but actually gut-wrenching sobs.

I should leave her but I actually feel bad, so I walk towards her side of the bed and she looks at me, wiping her eyes.

"I tried to be a good person, making everyone happy, working hard. I even shared my lunch with the kids at school." She sniffs and I smile at the innocence of how she looks and sounds. She really is so beautiful. "I'm not gonna be a nice girl anymore. Kate says I need to unleash my inner bitch. That's who I'm going to be now. No more Miss Nice Girl." Her eyes are starting to droop but she's fighting to keep them open.

"Goodnight, Anastasia." I caress her cheek and give her a small smile.

She nods and closes her eyes. "Goodnight Christian."

A few seconds later her breathing has evened out but a shiver runs through her body every now and then. I find myself wanting to remain seated and watch her sleep but I can't. I kiss her forehead, soaking in the softness of her skin from that brief touch and resolve to leave but I feel a cosmic force rooting me here.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I'll go sleep on the couch. That's what I'll do.

An hour later, I've been through all the background checks and emailed Welch and Barney to do some background on this app Anastasia mentioned. Throwing my phone to the side, I try to make myself comfortable on the couch but another 30 minutes later, I can't sleep at all. Maybe, I'll just sleep next to her and create the pillow wall I used to whenever I unfortunately had to share a bed with Elliot. Yeah, that'll work. With that plan in mind, I make my way and get into the other side of the bed after making my protective pillow fort and watch her sleep peacefully till I drift off myself.

I slowly open my eyes and try to move but my body feels heavy and… WHAT THE FUCK? I look down and see a thick mane of mahogany. Anastasia's lying on top of me with her face on my chest. The panic sets in as the realization that I'm going to be overcome with the sensation of painful burning and sweating, trying to not scream out in pain.

I try to breathe and not push her off in a violent panic and hurt her but I immediately notice it doesn't burn. I blink rapidly and my breathing calms a little and I realize that I'm fine. I'm going to be fine. She's only sleeping on top of me, she won't hurt me. Her skin and hair feels gentle and soft against mine.

I feel her leg entwined with mine with her thigh brushing across my fully awake dick.

Great!

Just great!

I notice her hand is on my chest as well and it looks small and soft but then I feel a slight chill and dampness.

She's drooling on my chest––gives the term 'drooling over me' a whole new meaning.

Well that's another thing to add to my list of firsts.

A/N: What an eventful night... hit me with your thoughts - your favorite drunkism, favorite CG reaction... bro got hit from all sides. Hurricane Steele made landfall after all.

APOV will be up next and it will be... mortifying.