03.27.21
I know you want them to meet and get it on but our girl needs to decompress for a bit. Also, chapter 1 stems from the later end of this chapter when she's on her way to her first day at SIP. Just wanted to put that out there.
CHAPTER NINE - A looney tunes bride!
In the weekend that followed my fall from grace or rather shoving off the altar, I remained cooped up in Kate's apartment, ignoring the world. She joined me in my little misery bubble and we talked and trashed the men who had broken our hearts and used us. She had men while I only had a man, more like a manchild, more emphasis on the child obviously. Shortly after I had exhausted all my curse words and plans for voodoo magic, I asked Kate that we not mention the asshole and his bitch.
We talked a little more about Chrisitan Grey but I decided to keep the pay for sex part to myself—that one's damaging; better to focus on my humiliating adventures and since he was so nice to me I felt bad divulging that information. Also, if I had told Kate that she would've ordered me to stay far far away from him. I mean who the fuck am I kidding? I'm already so far far out of his league.
SNAP OUT OF IT ANA.
Dad came by Friday afternoon after Kate picked me up to check on me before heading out to Montesano again. He wanted me to come back with him but I said that I'd be okay here and I'd call him everyday, along with Kate who promised to keep an eye on me. Till then I know he'd be making plans to eventually get his hands on Jose and Gaia.
"Dad, what happened to your hand?" I ask, noticing an ugly bruise and redness on his knuckles.
He gruffed and snatched his hand out of mine. "I couldn't punch his mother so I punched the father." Dad is using formal relationships instead of names which means he really is pissed. "I can't believe the son of bitch did this. After all these years. I treated the little fucker like a son. I trusted him with you."
Kate had been clever enough to read the room and slipped into her own to give us some privacy which I was thankful for.
"And that tramp." He seethed. "Annie, as soon as those two little shits come back I will rain hell on them."
"Dad, please." I plead, wanting him to calm down and not get his blood pressure going unnecessarily. "It's done now. We need to move on. I need to move on." My eyes start to well. "I guess we were both alone and really wanting family and theirs kind of took us in after everything with Carla and then after, well you know…" I trail, not wanting to rehash the past completely.
He nods and kisses my temple. "You're the strongest person I know, Annie."
"Don't know about that but I'm mad as hell." I laugh and shake my head. "Good thing I wasn't carrying at the altar."
We both laugh out loud. Jose was always a lousy shot and it translated to other areas. The only thing he ever gave his all to was football and now his app and apparently Gaia.
Just then, Kate's head peeks out from her door. "Does that laughter mean the murder plan has been made and now ready for execution?"
Dad laughs even harder at that and claps his hands before winking at her.
"I like how you think Kate."
Looking back on his reaction, I understood the intensity behind it; he had treated both as family as well and this was the worst kind of betrayal in his eyes. I still believe he never got over what Carla did and after all these years, I'm grateful he doesn't hold it against me either since I'm her daughter— not that any of it was my fault but still, I wondered how he could see me without seeing her. Man of Steel with a Heart of Gold.
By Saturday afternoon I was all cried out and looking like a zombie who was 10 episodes into Snapped and in awe of what women were capable of.
"I know you don't want me to talk about him but I just remembered that he was parked outside our Airbnb the night before the wedding when I was leaving for my work emergency." Kate tells me. "When I asked him what he was doing here, he laughed it off saying he was hoping to sneak some facetime with you but I told him not to see the bride before the wedding. Maybe if I had let him see you it'd be different or something? I don't know." She shrugs with an apologetic expression.
Tears began to fall from my eyes. "He lied, Kate… he had just fucked her. A few minutes before you came out to leave, Gaia had come in all disheveled saying she went to clear her head and that Sam had joined her."
Kate's nostrils flare in anger and her jaw tenses. "I hope he gets herpes and his dick falls off while her vagina gets mold and closes up."
"I'm an idiot. I wasted so much time on him." I sniff, shaking my head. "What about your work emergency? I never asked if it got sorted, I'm sorry about that."
She laughs and waves her hand off. "We were breaking the news on this upcoming State Senator who was a little too handsy with the female staff. The woman in question was having doubts coming forward on air and my EP was freaking out so I had to go and slap them both." She grins. "All in a day's work and now they're calling for an investigation since more women have come out. Down with the patriarchy!"
We both laugh and high five.
"You know Gaia kept trying to tell me that you were the one who'd take Jose from me." I looked at her with an equally apologetic expression now. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you."
"That fucking bitch." She gritted out. "But you know what, I'm glad you talked to me. Most girls would just have let that shit fester and blown up. Better to get shit out in the open, Ana. I can dish it out and I can take it."
I give her a grateful smile before continuing on. "But she'd always tell me to talk to Jose when I felt he was being distant. It doesn't make sense."
"Well, we all know you suck at confrontation." Kate gives me a pointed look. "I mean you almost ended up crying and baked me a lasagna when we talked back then about my flirty banter with Jose."
We both laugh at the memory. I really almost did cry when confronting her because I liked her and loved being friends with her. I didn't want it to be true and thank God it wasn't.
"Back to the bitch, I guess she went the reverse psychology route and second, remember when I told you to leave Jose alone a few weeks ago?" I nod. "I'm sorry for giving you that advice. I guess, I saw you so stressed out and if you had talked to Jose, what if he blew up cause he thought you were nagging? You both were under pressure and horrible fights can happen. I've seen and heard some of the hurtful shit my parents have said to one another and in a way I thought I was trying to protect you— that once this wedding was over, you guys would finally have time to get back to yourselves."
"Yeah I can see that. Jose can be a handful to deal with when he's under pressure. Gaia pushing me to talk to him or offering to do that was probably her way to try and pour gasoline but I guess I was subconsciously scared too. I ignored the problems for too long to try and keep the peace so this is on me as well."
"Nope, I disagree. No one deserves to be cheated on and deceived like that. He strung you along and I wish you let me tear into him or have some of my contacts spread some well crafted rumours in the startup circle."
I shrug and lean forward to grab another falafel, not saying anything. Do I really want to see all their hard work go down the drain? Do I want to be that vicious? I know i'm hurting right now but the work he's doing could help a lot of people protect their privacy.
Kate tells me that I'm to stay with her for the foreseeable future; she lives in Pike Place and I can't afford to pay her rent but she insists that I can make up for it with home cooked food and company. She owns the place so it's not like she needs the rent. I graciously agree and we promise to never talk about the arrangement again. Sam has been calling and texting me but I don't have the heart to talk to him. He's just as heartbroken but I really don't want to meet anyone from that circle of my life right now.
As the days begin to pass and blur into one, Kate reminds me that I need to get my stuff from the apartment but I don't have the heart to step foot into that space. They probably fucked there too. They've done it on the roof, what's to stop them from having done it in the apartment. Oh god, what if they did it while I was sleeping in the other room?
Ctrl-alt-delete that thought, Ana.
By Tuesday morning, I'm still living in Kate's clothes, have melted into her couch and now I suspect that I'm molding. I decide to get my shit together and go out for a walk to get some sun and energy, thinking that maybe some fresh air will help me. With $538.72 in my account, I figure I can at least buy four dresses or ensembles along with groceries to make Kate a nice meal while still having a little buffer till my paycheck comes in. We've been surviving on take out and I feel bad. Nothing feels better than a home cooked meal.
Once I'm out and the sun hits my face, I feel like I'm actually alive. Praise heaven, she lives!
My first stop is to the clinic to get myself tested with a heavy dose of praying, hoping the Divine Hotline is listening. That takes a while but once I'm done, I go to some of the clothing shops and check the sale/clearance sections. I don't find much but I am able to buy a few key separates I can mix and match with some of Kate's wardrobe till I start getting paid.
Roaming through the fish market afterwards I start to get the sense that I'm being watched. I look around but don't see anyone suspect. Oh God, this is because of all those Snapped episodes, Big Brother is keeping track of me? I send a quick text to Kate who sends a barrage of stalker memes in return that make me giggle. I'm being lame and need to snap out of it.
After buying some fresh shrimp, I stop at the local grocery store to buy pasta and a few additional ingredients to make a small chocolate dessert along with some snacks. While waiting in line to pay for my items, my phone starts pinging and I check to find that it's bank and credit card notifications, all my wedding vendors have refunded me.
A gasp escapes me and I almost drop everything in my hand, as tears threaten to fall. I hadn't even thought to reach out to them since the contracts we signed had no refund provisions unless they weren't able to fulfill their end of the service. Having a wedding fall apart of my own accord wasn't their problem but the fact that they did refund me regardless is a welcome wave of relief.
Maybe the Universe doesn't hate me after all?
I let Dad know and he tells me that he too got a refund from the hair and makeup artist and the Airbnb host.
This is a huge weight off of my shoulders and I feel I can breathe easier.
By Friday night, I'm doing much better. Girl time with Kate has been awesome and therapeutic. We do our best not to skirt the obvious topics and instead talk about the future by planning a girls trip for August to visit New Orleans since I've never been. I'd love to witness the Second Line Parade and stuff my face with beignets along with some of the iconic cuisine I've heard about.
I see Kate swiping on her phone and I know she's on some dating app. My thoughts go to Christian and my body responds automatically but then my brain throws an ice-bucket on me.
"Kate, I have a question." I start.
"I may have an answer." She replies distractedly, eyes still glued to her phone.
"What's bloodplay?"
Her face whips to me faster than I can blink and her eyes grow impossibly wide.
"What kind of porn are YOU watching?"
"WHAT?" I exclaim. Porn? fuck I should've known. I should've just googled that shit but living with techies who were obsessed with privacy and how google is tracking us, I thought it best not to search it up. "I… I am not watching ANY kind of porn."
"Relax," she cackles. "Bloodplay is BDSM. Doing shit to draw blood, not sure if they outsource shit like blood bags to add into the mix but then again anything is possible if you're freaky enough. I'll have to look into it but I'm curious now… where did you hear about it from?" Great, the Kavanagh Inquisition has begun.
I know a little to nothing about BDSM. He made a joke about consent and bloodplay, he's surely just joking right? He's not into that.
OF COURSE HE'S NOT INTO THAT ANA. Don't be an idiot.
"A manuscript at work ." I lie, quite effortlessly. I'm so proud of myself. "One of the characters said it but I was too busy to look it up."
"Damn, can you bring the rejected shit home?"
"You like erotica?"
"I'll take my sex any way I can get it. Spoken word poetry, baked goods… I don't discriminate. Sex doesn't have to be for my lady parts it can be for my mind and stomach."
I giggle. "Maybe I need to expand my sexual avenues too."
"Uh, yeah, ya do." She snorts. "Starting with porn, you have been deprived long enough my friend. And then, a phone call to a certain Billionaire. Send him a flirty text if anything. SEXT UP YOUR LIFE."
Rolling my eyes I pick up the remote to look up a movie for us to watch.
We snuggle in and watch Eat Pray Love. I wonder if I should do something like that myself. Watching Liz' road to self discovery I realize so many similarities to myself, how I throw myself into useless and often damaging situations that leave me completely empty for fear of being lonely. I was so desperate to not be like Carla that I dove in head first with the first guy who gave me attention. He was the star Quarterback and for some reason he thought I was beautiful when I came back to Montesano after the whole Husband #3 and Carla debacle.
I never got to be alone and discover who I was and that's what I need. I see Kate; she's so self assured and confident—she doesn't let anyone walk over her. Sure, she has trouble committing but when I realize that she's only 22, it hits me that I'm the same age and I've got my entire life ahead of me.
What the hell was I thinking? Settling down at 22? Happy to be an afterthought? To let my aspirations take a backseat to focus on making sure their dreams came true instead…. Because I had decided that they were more important. I used to hate Carla for never putting me first and I ended up doing the same for myself.
Dad's words come back to me, 'Remember your worth.'
I need to find out who I am and be more.
I need to put myself first.
Time to find out who Anastasia Steele really is and what she's capable of.
Time to Eat Pray Love.
On a budget.
In Seattle.
Saturday night, Kate dresses me up and drags me out for some D&D— Dancing & Dick— unfortunately, my middle name is 'two left feet' unless I'm drunk and after three hours of dancing around silly with Kate and feeling slightly buzzed, I decide to call it a night while she remains focused on her mission for dick. I've had my work out for the week so I'm ready to hit the hay.
Christian's words surge through me about not getting drunk just as I endeavor to order my fourth shot before closing out my tab for the night. I forgo that thought and walk out of the establishment to hop in my uber. I check the time, it's barely past midnight. I'm boring as a single woman too.
I've try my best not to think of Mr. Billionaire I feel like he's crawled under my skin. Kate did tell me to call him, after all I did have his number but what the hell would have I said? Hi, remember me? Wanna watch me get drunk again and wail about my life so you can make fun of me? He'd probably hang up and change his number. Hell, he'd probably do that even if I did strike up a normal conversation. There's a difference between being customarily nice and being 'hey, let's hang out again' nice. Besides, I'm probably imagining that there's something there.
It was definitely static.
I walk into the empty apartment, towards my room and take off my dress to climb into bed and find sleep but I give into the urge to touch myself. All I see are his electric grey eyes and the sheer thought of his hands and his lips on my skin sends me into the tailspin of an orgasm.
I really am desperate for sex, even my body couldn't hold off for fear of this being perhaps the only kind of attention I may get for an extended period of time. What a sad state of sexual affairs.
Ana, your vagina desperately needs a workout. I should look up vibrators, it's time.
Waking up on Sunday morning, I get dressed and proceed to make a pancake breakfast. Kate's emoji filled text informed me that dick was found and brought home. I was out cold so even if she was having wild monkey sex, I didn't hear it. I'm happy at least one person in this apartment is getting some satisfaction.
Your day will come too, Ana.
Come, hah!
I send Kate a text when I'm halfway done preparing our feast. Loading the last batch of bacon on to the plate, I hear her door open and the sounds of giggles and laughs float into the room.
"Good morning, Banana!" Kate cheers with a bright smile and gives me a discreet thumbs up to tell me that he was a good lay.
"After a good night, I'm sure it is." I laugh.
"This is Elliot, Elliot this is my bff Ana."
"Hi Elliot, it's nice to meet you."
"Likewise, it smells great." He grins, as we shake. "Kate tells me you're an amazing cook."
He's hot and definitely Kate's type. Tall, beefy, tanned with wavy blonde hair and scruff. Yep, Kavanagh scored well last night.
"Hopefully, I live up to the praise." I shrug sheepishly and tell them I'm almost done.
We get settled and talk about neutral things. Kate has a strict no personal details policy till she's figured out whether the guy is worth a second hookup or not. She has her own barometer of doing things and I'm happy to follow as well. I've had enough of strange encounters to last me a while myself.
My phone pings and I see it's an instagram notification from Gaia's feed. I know I should ignore it and unfollow them both but curiosity gets the best of me and I open it. I burst into tears, startling my audience which makes Kate snatch the phone out of my hand.
"T-they g-go-got m-married." I blubber out. He took her on my honeymoon and then married her.
Selfish asshole.
Deceitful bitch.
"It won't last." Kate assures me. "They'll fuck each other over, I guarantee it. Cheaters always cheat!"
Elliot raises an eyebrow. "Whoa, what happened?"
"Ana's ex-fiance cheated on her with her best friend and they just got married. I mean just last—"
"Kate, don't." I cut her off with a look to not rehash everything in front of another stranger. She nods and goes back to her pancakes.
"That's tough." Elliot says, shaking his head. "I think there's something in the water cause last week my brother got stuck in an elevator with a looney toons bride. She got left at the altar and the guy ran off with her friend. Talk about embarrassing. Sheesh. I mean, she was a piece of work herself from what he told me…."
I look at him in shock and then to Kate who is fuming and about to stick a fork in his eye no doubt given that we've both realized who this dude really is.
"Looney toons bride? Sounds like your poor brother barely got out alive there." She says sweetly and I know what she's doing. "What's his name, I forgot?"
"Christian." Elliot says before shoving a forkful of eggs into his mouth and complimenting me on the breakfast. "He felt sorry for her and shit cause she was drunk as fuck out of her mind with an ugly ass dress to match..."
I purse my lips inward and focus on my plate trying my best not to cry anymore but I just feel like I've been slapped really hard across the face in a stadium full of people who are laughing at me.
I see Kate stand up and snatch Elliot's plate from him while he's still eating.
"Hey, what the…"
"Get out!" Kate barks.
"What did I do?!"
"Get out of my apartment! I'm done with you."
Elliot is taken aback and looks at me in confusion before getting up to leave.
"You're fucking weird, Kate." He mutters, grabbing his jacket off of the chair.
"This ain't the half of it." She follows him and slams the door in his face when he turns to no doubt get in the last word. Sorry buddy, but Kate Kavanagh always gets the last word.
"You didn't have to do that." I murmur, when she walks back and gives me a hug, holding me for a while.
"No, I did. It'll make sense to him eventually. If the Grey brothers are definitely the gossiping type then Elliot will share this little weird encounter and trust me, pieces will fall into place."
"Doesn't do anything to make me feel better." I mumble brokenly. "When will I stop being such an idiot?"
"Listen to me, Steele. None of this, I swear, none of this is a poor reflection on you. This world is full of assholes. Sure, Elliot may think I'm being a bitch but once he figures it out, he'll be back."
"How do you know?"
"Cause he really liked being my little bitch last night. So much so that he begged for a repeat demonstration this morning" She cackles maniacally and I can't help but join in as my tears subside.
I spend the remainder of the day trying to recover from the new and fresh wave embarrassment all around. I need to get in the right frame of mind for this new job. I may have my money back but I need to work otherwise I will lose my mind.
Monday morning rolls around and I'm actually awake before my alarm goes off. I get ready and Kate gives me enthusiastic approval on my sartorial choices which I suppose is in an effort to give me the confidence I am so severely lacking.
She offers to drive me but I tell her I need to do this alone. The bus ride is spent mulling over more of my reality. I find myself more hurt by what Christian did than what Jose did or perhaps, I'm projecting? Either way, I'm not feeling better at all.
Snapping out of my dance with self-pity, I tell myself I need to get over all this and the first step in doing that is to bite the bullet and get my stuff from the apartment and face this shit head on.
If I run into Jose and Gaia then so be it. I'll have my screaming match while Kate holds the bitch down and I kick Jose in the balls, repeatedly. Maximum damage for long lasting effect.
He may have been the star Quarterback in high school but I'm the only one who's going to score a touchdown this time.
Victory shall be mine!
I may however need a lot of liquid courage before I embark on this mission. A pep talk from Madam Tequila is sure to help.
But enough of living in the comfort of lies. Enough of not being confrontational. I need to stop being blind and speak for myself. I lived 7 years in blinding comfort and we can all see where that left me…
Walking into SIP helps calms my nerves a little in the form of distraction. It's got a cozy vibe and everyone seems nice for now. I meet with HR who informs me that my boss Jack Hyde was let go last week due to complaints and evidence of sexual harassment and that I will be working for Jerry Roach who owns the company.
I had a slight panic attack at the first part of the conversation but knowing that I'll still be employed helps me breathe easy.
Mr. Roach is hilarious and sarcastic but with a nurturing air, he reminds me a little bit of Dad. I like him so far. He's way better than my last boss who hated himself and everyone around him—it was a drag.
I'm introduced to everyone around the small office, they smile and welcome me with words of encouragement and promises of being helpful should I ever need any and I graciously thank them. This place is way better than my last job. Every other day felt like the world was ending at Portland Press but I stuck by it because I needed the moolah.
I got this, positive thoughts only. I can do this!
The receptionist Claire and Hannah who's an assistant to another Senior Fiction Editor, invite me out to lunch with them. I get the low down on the office gossip, who's dating who, the whole Jack Hyde debacle and most of all, how to make sure your good snack isn't stolen from the office fridge. At the end of our lunch hour of giggling and good food, I'm certain of how to navigate the waters and sail to shore if need be.
By the time we get back to SIP and our respective work stations, I get a call from Claire about a delivery I have to sign for.
That's odd.
I get to the front and see a delivery man with a huge bouquet of white roses. Is there a funeral no one told me about? IS IT MY FUNERAL? My love life sure deserves one.
"Are you Anastasia Steele?" The delivery man asks. I nod and he hands me a piece of paper to sign. I take the bouquet from him and place it on the reception desk to survey this peculiar situation.
"Oooh, who sent you flowers? Boyfriend?" Claire wiggles her eyebrows. I give her a tight smile and shake my head telling her I have no one like that in my life. No one here is gonna know about what happened last week, I don't need anymore pitiful stares. Besides, even if Jose was still around, this isn't his style at all. I only ever got flowers on my birthday or Valentines Day if he remembered or didn't have practice or work.
Taking the card out, I open to see a small note.
Congratulations on your new job, Anastasia. I wish you well in this endeavor.
Have dinner with me on Friday. I can pick you up from work at 5. You have my number and email.
Christian.
My finger traces his handwriting with a smile forming on my lips but I quickly snap out of the trance I'm falling into when memory of my encounter with Elliot comes to mind—my face flames up in hurt and embarrassment. I give Claire a smile and tell her they're from no one important and that she can distribute the flowers to everyone in the office.
Taking out my phone, I send a picture of the card and flowers to Kate. Her immediate response is hilarious.
Kate: Say yes, free fancy ass meal and a confrontation? Fuck yeah, do it Banana. LIVE A LITTLE.
Kate: Actually, hold that thought. Fancy ass meal, fuck him, take him down and THEN walk out giving him a great view of that amazing ass. DO IT. Hell, I have the perfect dress for this occasion.
I roll my eyes and laugh at the flurry of gifs that follow her texts. Me? Take down a Billionaire for gossiping about me? Fat chance. I'm not in the mood to be ridiculed again.
Stay in your lane, Ana. Life has been enough of a car wreck already.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Thank you
Date: June 24th, 2019 1:39PM
To: Christian Grey
Mr. Grey,
Thank you for the flowers and good wishes. Unfortunately, I am unable to accept your invitation for dinner.
I would appreciate it if you didn't contact me again.
Sincerely,
Anastasia Steele
Assistant to Jerry Roach, Managing Editor,
SIP
Yep, that should do it.
Now excuse me while I live my man free, drama free life from here on out.
A/N: Lots of self reflection for Ana and then Elliot just had to open his big mouth, sigh but Kate came through like a champ, lol. She ain't takin shit.
Special mention: CarolinaGrace for your review, it had me in stitches and biblepam for bringing up the NDA! No one ever says anything about that from CG's side of things and now look what happened, lol!
Let me know what you're thinking!