04.17.21

I'm sorry for the delay but I got diagnosed with Covid and my whole life and brain is now frazzled. I thought quarantining meant I could write all I want but that's not how it works, unfortunately :(

CHAPTER FOURTEEN - We have bigger fish to fry

JPOV

No, it wasn't supposed to happen this way.

I'm running along the shore to clear my head. It's been four days since Gaia and I have been here. The first 48 hours were bliss and honestly a fucking relief, like a weight had been lifted off of me, finally but then the reality of everything that happened set in.

I never meant to hurt Ana like this. That wasn't my intention at all but it was all building up to this point and the moment the Priest asked if I would take her as my wife, I panicked. I couldn't do that to her or myself. We all deserved better.

Ana was always Annie, the shy and awkward bookworm. Then she moved away to Texas for a year and when she came back after everything with husband #3 , she looked so different. Her body had changed, she was beautiful and honestly such a knockout. Sure, there were hotter girls in highschool, Gaia being one of them but there was something about Ana that was innocent, wholesome and most of all, beautiful and I couldn't resist. We got together and everything made sense.

Gaia and I always were butting heads in playful banter. I never thought much of it. We became closer than ever after Ana came back. The idea of taking care of Ana and making sure she felt loved and protected was something we shared.

So how did we get to this? How did we get to the point where we discarded the glue that kept us together in the first place?

It was a week before our finals in college. Graduation was in three weeks to be exact and since Gaia and I were majoring in the same field, we often had the same classes with the exception of electives. Ana had gone to Kate's to work on her thesis while Gaia and I were at the apartment working on our own final projects. We had teamed up together for the beginnings of Acero. At the time it was called Cloak but we weren't terribly attached to the name, it was just a means to an end till we came up with something better. We needed to pass the class and graduate, that was our main goal.

On that particular night of coding, Gaia had taken a break to make us some more coffee while I was just staring at the screen, about to gouge my eyes out at my inability to perfect the simulation for our final presentation. I stared at the code for what seemed like an hour till I finally got an idea and tried it. I don't know what sound I made but it scared the fuck out of Gaia who smacked me upside the head as she usually did when I was being spastic.

When I finally explained to her that I made the breakthrough that we had been striving towards, she cheered and we hugged but when I pulled away from her, that's when everything changed. It was alarmingly apparent, the energy between us was strong and looking into her eyes, everything disappeared from around me. I had to kiss her, I just had to. Nothing else mattered but giving in to her. She was hot and I wasn't blind but I loved Ana and we were friends, besides she was with someone else. But something about this moment, holding her in my arms, our breathing in sync and the energy crackling between us…. I couldn't hold back and I could tell that she didn't want to either. That unexplored territory had to be

Except, we didn't stop at the kiss. We couldn't.

The next three hours were spent going further and further past the point of no return.

The next morning, we couldn't even look at each other and decided that this was a one time thing. That it was a mistake and we had to absolutely forget about it and that we couldn't hurt Ana this way. She didn't deserve that.

The guilt ate away at me. I couldn't bear the thought of even touching Ana for the days that followed, which ended up being surprisingly easy since Ana wasn't overtly sexual, she was sweet, shy and innocent, letting me take the lead.

But Gaia was different. If I thought she was hot before, experiencing her that night changed my fucking world view. I began to crave her but then the guilt was enough to suppress it.

You can't hurt Ana like this. That is what I kept telling myself.

And so I did the only thing that came to mind.

I asked Ana to marry me a few weeks later on the night of our graduation.

A small part of me hoped she'd say no, except we all know how that went.

We made headway with Cloak, only to rename it as Acero. It was slow but we were coming along. Ana was determined to help in any way she could as much as I tried to dissuade her from it, she always said she wanted to support my dreams. More guilt.

The more Ana worked, the more Gaia and I ended up being alone together and for the most part we were fine. She broke up with her college boyfriend and a few months later she met Sam. He was a good guy, a few years older than us, solid job and supportive of Gaia's dreams. She seemed happy with him but every now and then we'd exchange loaded glances, longing for that night. It couldn't be helped.

Intimacy with Ana grew more and more sparse, I'd secretly thank god that she was so tired to fully engage. As it is I was having trouble. I'd had to think of Gaia every time I wanted to get to the end. I felt like a piece of shit that I started to avoid being intimate with her all together. I loved Ana, I really did but there was never a fire there. There was comfort but the passion, holy hell I had never felt the kind of passion that I felt with Gaia. The girl could move and do things that were beyond my wildest dreams.

Which is why, during our visit to a tech conference in San Fransciso in September last year… we fell back into a repeat of that night.

No matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't get enough of each other. Instead of the guilt helping to suppress the urge, I now did whatever I could to not feel it. Every time I was with Gaia, things made sense.

She's always understood me. We can speak the same language and finish each other's sentences. We are the perfect team and work well together. Very quickly, Ana had started to feel like the odd one out. She'd often get lost in all the tech and business talk but dutifully offered moral support and asked where she could try and help and that is where the guilt that I had worked on trying to suppress would then hit with a full on force. To the point where I blurted out that we should get married this June rather than waiting two years like we originally had planned.

It took Gaia by surprise as well. I wish I could say I don't know what possessed me to do that, but I do. Yes, I loved both women, but Ana deserved better than this. She had always been there for me. Even before we got together, she always supported me in whatever way she could and that became even more apparent when I blew out my knee freshman year of college. I owed it to her to follow through on the promise I made.

I couldn't break her heart like this.

Wanting to be the man she knew that I could be, I had to get my shit together. So the night before the wedding, Gaia and I had our final goodbyes. Just to get it out of our system once and for all so that I could focus on my future with Ana and Gaia could focus on her future with Sam.

But then at the altar, when the thought of forever flashed before my eyes after the Priest asked his question, Ana was nowhere in sight. I only saw Gaia. My body only wanted Gaia. I can't explain it. How do you settle for a ember when you've experienced the warmth of a fire?

Except now, I'm here in this beautiful place feeling a different kind of loss. The fire keeps me warm but the chill of guilt remains.

"12, you have got to let it go." Gaia says, stretching out on the bed like a cat, as I walk in from my run.

"I know." I mumble and head straight for the shower. She knows what's on my mind, since it's the same that's on hers too.

We've talked about this at length, she feels it too but it's like she said, we've already come so far to let any residual issues become roadblocks. We need to move forward and tap into our potential.

She joins me in the shower a few moments later and I instantly forget any worries that plague me.

The both of us had successfully fielded calls from our families and friends. A part of me wished we could've stayed here forever and not dealt with the aftermath of what awaited us in Seattle and soon after, Montesano. Now even more so that Gaia and I had tied the knot here at the resort. We knew we wanted to be together, it made no sense to wait. There was no hesitation or no distracting thoughts when we stood at the beach and exchanged our vows, all the pieces fell into place. That's how it should have felt from the start. My only regret is that I didn't speak up sooner. But I know, Ana will understand, eventually.

"With the 100k, we should be good for the next four to six months. Don't worry." Gaia assures me. "This is just a setback, everyone goes through this."

She's right but has anyone ever been hit with a steady stream of emails coming in with canceled investor meetings. The moment we landed back in Seattle and turned our phones on, we got the notifications for cancellations.

Not all was lost, we still had some meetings that were scheduled for a few weeks later in Silicon Valley so there was still something to look forward to. Gaia, as always remained level headed and moved on with what mattered– signing a lease for a workspace and getting our office setup to hold interviews. We needed to make headway on the notes we'd received on our last pitch meetings and move along. A week after coming back from Punta Cana, we had gotten into a groove.

"We need to keep our marital status on the down low." Gaia says as she picks up the last slice of pizza. I give her a look that begs her to continue. "Because, 12… we're young and decisions like that are seen as impulsive. We need investors to believe that our only focus is this app and nothing else will come in the way of that. It's none of their business what we do in our personal lives–"

"Exactly, it's none of their fucking business Gaia."

"But that doesn't mean we need to broadcast it either. Yeah, our families know now but,

"They only know because you posted it on Instagram." I growl.

"I deleted it like ten minutes after." She counters. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize. Besides, my account is private."

"What if Ana saw it?" It would break her fucking heart and I've already fucked up so much.

"Christ, we've been over this." She rolls her eyes. "She barely checks instagram. I'm sure she didn't and if she did…" Gaia shrugs with a sigh. "She's going to find out sooner or later, let's just focus on what really matters." Scooting in closer she kisses the corner of my mouth. "This is just a weird time but things will straighten out, we need to get Acero off the ground and once we're really settled, we'll go talk to her and apologize. I'm sure by then she'll too see that it's just better this way."

"Ray is out for our blood." I mutter, trying my best to see her reason and logic. "No amount of time will make Ana calmly accept what we did."

"Ray is in Montesano, we don't have to deal with him and Ana, you know her… confrontation isn't her style. She's always calm, though that bitch Kate might try and brainwash her. Doesn't matter, I'm pretty sure, once some time has passed, her anger or any negative feelings will have calmed down."

"I don't know, G." I shake my head.

"José, we honestly have bigger fish to fry and take care of. All of that other shit that's in the past needs to take a backseat."

APOV

I open the door to Kate's apartment and Christian and I tiptoe in. It's still late afternoon on a Sunday and Kate had texted me that she would be in her room with Elliot. Thankfully the place is still somewhat clean but chances are I'll still be walking around with a lysol spray to disinfect.

I lead Christian to my room that's thankfully on the other end of the apartment.

"My room is a little smaller than your closet and still in the process of being set up." I shrug, trying to explain the mess of boxes in one of the corners.

"I like it." He chuckles and closes the door. "It's cozy."

"Don't close the door, you're here to pick up that gossiping brother of yours." I laugh, trying to back away as he slowly walks over to me. "Nothing is going to happen, remember, I need a break." I warn.

"I'm not doing anything." He reaches out and grabs my arm to pull me close and nuzzle my neck before we fall onto the bed, we share a few kisses before he pulls away and looks me in the eye. "Come with me to my parents' place for dinner."

"You want me to meet your parents?" WHY?

"Yeah. They'll love you, after they're done recovering from a fainting spell."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never brought a girl home before." Oh, well that is sure to cause a frenzy and possibly scrutiny. He notices my worried expression and does his best to assure me that his parents and little sister are very welcoming, almost too welcoming but I politely decline. I literally just met the guy five minutes ago and slept with him a minute ago for the first time this weekend. What am I going to tell them? Oh hey, totes met your son when I was drunk off my shit after being left at the altar and I scared the shit out of your other son? That's gonna go down REALLY well.

Even a robust makeout session initiated by Mr. Sexpertise couldn't sway me. The man is dangerous and he's slowly breaking down my defenses but I must remain strong.

"Uh, my eyes are up here." I raise an eyebrow when his gaze meets mine. He's been fondling my breasts off and on and just staring at them as I try to talk to him.

"Apologies, I was having a telepathic conversation with my two new friends here. I wanted them to know I'll miss them."

I roll my eyes with a giggle and try to get up from the straddling position I'm in but he stops me.

"They told me they'd miss me too." He adds.

"I'm sure they meant they'll miss not being manhandled by this handsy guy I just met."

He chuckles and fondles them both which tickles. "When can I see you next?" The look in his eyes seems so innocent, kind of like a little boy and I hate to be such an adult about everything because truth is I'd like some time to myself mentally and physically to process all this.

"I was hoping I could have a couple of days to, you know, recover." I giggle and he nods with a smile. "And, just think about some stuff." I say a little hesitant but not saying stuff is what got me into trouble in the first place so it's time to be brave. "Next Friday or Saturday? I could make you brunch if you're up to it and we could catch up on our week and maybe do something."

"You want to cook for me?"

"Yeah, why not? I mean, I suppose Mrs. Taylor could use a break too." He looks at me like I've got two heads. "I'm not that bad of a cook, Kate will vouch for me." He kisses me hard and I get lost in it, unable to maintain my train of thought as to why this seems odd to him.

"I'll introduce you and Mrs. Taylor over email and you can tell her the ingredients you need."

"No." I exclaim and his face falls. "I mean, I thought maybe you could come here. If that's okay… I spent the night at your place this weekend and maybe you could come over next weekend?"

He gives me a full megawatt smile and nods like a child who's won a trip to the candy store and it makes me want to kiss him again which I do.

Once we say goodbye to the Grey boys, Kate and I run to the couch and squeal like crazy hyenas over the turn of events in our lives.

Even Kate needs to go for a spa day or week to recover from the plundering that took place in her land of cooch.

"I can't explain it. It was just… Like, the sex was, I mean I had..." I rub my face in flaming embarrassment. The english language cannot express what I mean to say.

"Ohhhh! I know what you had." Kate nods in understanding. "You had a sexorcism."

"What?"

"Yeah, a sexorcism. To get rid of the effects of all the bad sex and make you literally come alive. The power of Christian's dick compelled you. You're a new woman. Congratulations." She claps.

I lose my shit and we both howl in laughter.

"I'm serious though… I mean, this is going to sound a little crass." I smile sheepishly but then again, it's Kate… she lives for this stuff.

Giving me a pointed look, she puts a hand on my shoulder. "Ana, my middle name is crass. Sometimes it's cunt but mostly it's crass. You can tell me anything."

I shake my head, failing to keep a straight face. "He could literally talk to my snatch about the five day weather forecast and I'd come. That's how good he is."

"Well, well, WELL! Hit the jackpot have we?" She cheers and I shrug, trying to hide my face. "Girl, I'm so happy for you. Who knew your first rebound would be so good?"

At that my face falls a bit and I swallow.

"Kate, he doesn't want to be a rebound." Her brows furrow a little. "I think he wants more from me, I mean… I know he does and I'm really scared after, well, all this." I gesture my hands to nothing and everything in particular. "What If I make the same mistake again? You see him, he's like Mr. Sex on Legs with so much money that it makes me head hurt. To trust someone else again, I don't know. I've agreed to us getting to know each other but..."

"Hmm, I see." This is thoughtful Kate making an entrance. "Getting to know him isn't such a bad idea but he's also not Jose. Just because you went through this once, doesn't mean you will again. A lot of what you had with Jose was you not being vocal about any issues that negatively affected you under this guise of being a supportive girlfriend. This man already brings out the fire in you and I think that's a good thing." She smiles, adoringly at me. "As long as you are always above board with him and communicate, I think you will be absolutely fine."

I nod and mull on her words. "I've barely been single a minute and now I'm jumping into a relationship with another guy? Shouldn't I take some time off?"

"If that's what you want, then of course you should but it's also okay to want to be with him. If anything, take it really slow. If it works out, amazing and if it doesn't, that's okay too."

"I think I'm falling for him." I cry, feeling stupid. "He's told me some personal things about himself and I don't know, everything with him is so intense. It's like how you said, I feel like I'm on fire but the good kind. Like, I can do anything and he's so thoughtful… when he's not being an asshole." At that we both laugh. "But just little things, like making sure I've eaten or he notices that I've gone quiet, he'll ask me what's wrong." I shrug. "I know I shouldn't compare but Jose's never noticed that stuff about me. When I first came back from Texas he was attentive but then we just fell into this routine and it was just our normal."

"Well, you're dating a man now. That shit is gonna be different. He's accomplished, knows what he wants and how to go for it. Jose was a boy and most probably will remain one for years to come."

"I don't want to get lost again." I tell her.

"And you won't because I'll be watching you but moreover, you know what you don't want going forward which will help you navigate this." She promises. "But also, Ana. If you feel happy and he's got you smiling then why not enjoy this? You've spent the last four years that I've known you, worrying over finances and especially this last year alone, in a shitty job, sex deprived and shit. NO MORE." Kate declares. "Time to enjoy yourself. And I'm not saying because he has money but have like this past weekend you had, spend time together, sex it up and honestly, have fun.

"Thanks for the pep talk, mom." I nod.

"Anytime little one."

I text Kate, asking her what she'd like to eat this evening when she informs me Elliot is taking her out to dinner before his night shift at work. In which case, I'll probably make a quick stir-fry this evening. On my lunch break, I looked up trademark lawyers and accountants in the downtown seattle area to reach out to. Best thing about Mondays is that most people tend to immediately respond back so now I've got some consult calls setup throughout the week to see who can fit my needs so I can move forward with setting up Enlight.

Christian and I texted a little throughout the day, he's very adamant about knowing if I've eaten or not which I found to be very sweet and obliged in promptly providing him that information. His next round of texts were in regards to my private attire. I texted him only the color and told him to let his imagination run wild. He did not appreciate the lack of description and said he would have to make other arrangements. Whatever that meant. Needless to say, the blush on my cheeks were here to stay along with the smile that I couldn't contain. Claire and Hannah noticed too.

I decided to walk home this evening and enjoy the welcome cool breeze that mother nature had decided to grace us with. After making a quick stop at the nearby marketplace for dinner ingredients, I took a quick shower and settled in to make myself my stir-fry dinner. I hear the apartment phone ring and go to pick it up. It's the front desk alerting me that I have a delivery coming up.

When I open the door in my washed out and raggedy bathrobe and faded pajamas, I see an impeccably dressed man and woman, holding several bags with the words Neiman Marcus printed on them.

"Miss Steele?" The young woman asks. I nod wordlessly, no doubt with a dumbass expression on my face. "Delivery from Mr. Grey. Where would you like for us to place these?"

It takes me a few seconds to find my voice and direct her into the living area with the guy following her. Between them, they're close to 10 bags of what? I don't really know. I sign for the delivery and they wish me a good night. Running over to the bags, I see boxes after boxes of nothing but La Perla, the most exquisite pieces in different colors. This man is crazy.

He picks up on the first ring.

"CHRISTIAN." I squeal but immediately try to tone it down when he laughs. "Christian this is crazy. Why did you do this?"

"You told me to use my imagination, so this is what it did. I didn't know what your lingerie looked like and now I'll know."

"You are insane." I whine. "This makes me feel so weird now."

"Don't think too much of it. Just wear it and send me pictures. LOTS of pictures, the more angles the better."

"Ha ha ha nice try." I tease, ain't no way i'm trusting technology. "The last thing I need is getting hacked and my pictures ending up on the internet. You want to see something, you have to move your ass and make the trek over to me."

"Is that a challenge? Because, baby... I can be there in 10 minutes." I giggle at his enthusiasm but tell him that I'll happily model them for him on Friday and that good things come to those who wait. He whines a little but agrees. "I just want to make sure my two new friends are taken care of."

"I knew it, you just want me for my body." I tease.

"I'm glad you finally got it." He says with mirth and I roll my eyes. "Come on, Miss Steele. Indulge me, just a little."

Instead of sending Christian pictures of myself wearing the lingerie, I sent him pictures of the pieces laid out on the bed as my choice of the day. It was a decent compromise which helped me realize just how imaginative he was. I'm like a zero in comparison on the sexual scale and he's a 150. My body is in a perpetual state of arousal and it's both welcome and slightly uncomfortable. I have to carry an extra pair just in case. He texts me in the middle of the day that 9 out of 10 times I end up having to go to the ladies room to catch my breath and scold myself so that I stop smiling at the most innocent of exchanges. I'm pretty sure people are starting to think I have a bladder problem.

No, I have a Christian Grey problem. A withdrawal problem, that's what this is.

Making sure that I have all my things, I run through my calendar and make note of the two calls I have today with lawyers. It's Wednesday and I only have one more consult call tomorrow before I make my final decision on Friday to move this forward. The elevator doors open into the lobby and I walk out into the welcome plaza area of our residential building. It's another beautiful day in Seattle. I look up at the sky and smile for a brief moment before carrying on with my walk.

I hear my name being called and turn to look behind me. My face falls immediately and the anger surges through my entire body. This boy has some fucking nerve.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Do you have a death wish?"

A/N: Who's ready for a blowout in the next chapter?

Take care of yourselves everyone!