A/N: Chapter updated (02/05/2023)

They woke up naked and entangled on the bedroom floor. It was still dark outside, and he had no idea how much time had passed.

"What just happened?" he asked, confused.

"You got greedy and tried to drink the ocean all at once..." she answered in a voice that was barely more than a whisper. She crawled out from under him and went to lie down on the bed. "Come, we should get some sleep."

"We're not going to talk about it?"

"No."

It was unusual for her to be so curt with him, but his head was swimming and walking felt as if he was wading through mud. It was hard to even get up and despite his mind telling him he had to press the issue and find out what happened, his body was telling him it was no use. He got up, still wobbling, only to crash onto the mattress and fall asleep instantly next to her.

It was the first night he dreamt anything since he had been there. He dreamt of skies and mountains, himself flying towards the sun, letting it warm his skin. Floating in mid-air, looking up at the clear blue sky above, he was at peace, in utter forgetfulness of the world until the silence became deafening. Peace turned to panic, the sky changed to red and he fell. He twisted mid-fall and landed with a crash, crouched down inside a crater. As he looked up, the scenery was different; he was halfway up a mountain in front of a cavernous opening in the dark rocks.

An eerie feeling crept up his spine, making the hair on the back of his head stand up; the kind of feeling he got when danger lurked around the corner. Out of pure witcher instinct, he reached over his shoulder to feel for his sword. It was there. He pulled it out of its scabbard and looked at the blade. Its silver edge was as sharp as it had ever been and, as he moved it, the blade shone.

He looked behind him and down the slope of the mountain, at the bottom of a valley where a small oasis of greenery survived among the darkened rocks. In the middle of it was a lake with shimmering clear water surrounded by picturesque huts. An alluring song came from below, but he ignored it. It looked too perfect to be real and perhaps it was curiosity, perhaps it was too many years spent hunting the foulest creatures known to man, but something drew him to the mouth of the cave; he advanced sword in hand, ready to face whatever lay in wait.

The darkness inside was black as tar; he adjusted his eyes and caught a faint light at the end of a passage. It was no more than a flicker. He had two options: flee to that surreal oasis or go down into the belly of the mountain, into the unknown. He never was one for safety, so he chose the latter.

He followed the passage that descended, narrowed and winded, until he reached a chamber full of cages. Around the bars of the cages, small dark creatures swarmed; all he could see was a sea of teeth and spikes. Their feast was inside, huddled in the middle. They were humanoid, but no species he recognized.

His witcher instinct took over as he advanced towards the swarm, although the human part of him told him that what he was doing was crazy. Running away as fast as his legs would carry him was the sensible thing to do, but his instinct to protect was so entrenched in him that he pushed to fight. A surge of power ran through him as his sword swung around and cut through the sea of creatures. The metal of the blade caught the dim light and enhanced it as it moved from one side to the other, always slashing and cutting. The sea became a lake, then a pitiful puddle and, in the end, it all dried up.

As he approached the closest cage to have a look at what he saved, he caught a shadow out of the corner of his eye. It extended menacingly, silent and shapeless, towards him. Before he could react, someone pulled him back, grabbing onto his baldric with such force that his feet left the ground. The walls of the passage spun around him as he flew further and further back through the darkness.

He got the air knocked out of him as he slammed back into his body.

The first thing he saw was the ceiling in Criss's bedroom. He turned his head to see her sitting up in bed, holding his hand and looking at him.

"Almost thought I lost you to the shadows," she said, smiling weakly when their eyes met.

"What was that place?"

"First you tell me why you did that last night."

"Did what? Fuck you?" he asked feigning ignorance.

"Don't be crude!" She threw him a sharp look. "You know what you did! You melded with me, you wanted to see what was beyond me. Is that something you do to your monsters?"

He nodded and looked away, not bearing to see her face.

"Once I'm one with my opponent, I can absorb and reflect whatever power is hidden behind them."

"But why? Do you think me a monster or was it just a sick curiosity?"

He shrugged and focused on the ceiling. He didn't honestly know.

"It was instinct. When something seems too good to be true, it usually is," he sighed, meeting her eyes again. "I needed to know what you are. Because you wouldn't tell me yourself when I asked. I saw an opportunity, and I took it."

She frowned and bit the inside of her mouth at his accusatory tone.

"And are you happy now? Satisfied that I'm not some monstrosity in disguise?" She looked away. "Or maybe you didn't like what you saw. I'd understand. You wouldn't be the first."

"Don't be melodramatic."

The hurt painted over her face gave him pause and made him soften his tone. She's not as tough as she wants to appear, her brother's voice echoed in his head. She's not Yen, his own voice chimed in. It wasn't her fault he couldn't keep his curiosity at bay.

"Do you know what I saw?" he asked, taking her hand.

He had half-expected her to shy away, but there was no fight in her. She winced in preparation for whatever he was about to say, probably thinking it'd be something awful and yet waiting calmly for the sharp tip of his words to stab through her.

"I saw endlessness if anyone could ever see such a thing." He paused. "I can't pretend to understand where you draw your power from, but it doesn't seem evil. If anything, it felt like the opposite."

"It didn't scare you?" she asked, fixating on the mattress.

He caught her chin between his index and thumb and lifted it gently so he could look into her eyes.

"It was beautiful."

She smiled and it only deepened his shame. It would have been so much easier if she just screamed and threw things at him, then he would feel less horrible. Instead, she curled up next to him and hugged him. His arm coiled around her shoulders, drawing her even closer.

"I'm sorry. You should know, I'm damaged goods. I've had too many terrible experiences with women - sorceresses in particular – and I'm always expecting the other shoe to drop. It's a feeling I might never shake."

"Now who's being melodramatic?" she said with a laugh before kissing his shoulder.

"You know, you never cease to surprise me."

"What did I do now?" she asked, amused.

"You keep forgiving the crap I say and do! And don't lie to me, I could see it in your eyes that you were hurt. I looked into your soul when you were vulnerable, then called you melodramatic. You shouldn't be laughing and kissing me, you should slap me, kick me out, break up with me, and run as far as you can!"

"Would that make you feel better?"

She slapped his cheek with barely any force.

"I consider myself vindicated now," she joked. "As for kicking you out, you know that's not an option."

"You could exile me to the couch at least. Fuck it! I'll exile myself, I damn well deserve as much."

He made to get up, but she laid her palm flat on his chest and pushed him back down onto the mattress.

"Is that what you want? To be out of my bed? Away from me?"

"Gods, no!"

"Then stay right where you are. I'm not exiling you anywhere, not even to the couch."

"But why aren't you… angrier?"

"Maybe because I understand your curiosity, and maybe I should have seen it coming after your question yesterday morning. A question I would've gladly answered better if I could, but it's not like I was born with instructions and a 'made in' tag. I am how I am and that's all I know.

"Perhaps I'm also a little selfish. Since you've been in my bed, I haven't had a single restless night, so I'm in no rush to kick you out. And honestly, Geralt, you're one of the few people around whom I can act like myself. It might not seem like much to you, but for me, it's a rare thing."

He kissed her as tenderly as he could and squeezed her in his arms.

"I'm sorry I was an asshole to you. Again."

"You're forgiven, but in the future please talk to me instead of doing anything rash. Now let's forget this happened and go have breakfast. I worked out an appetite while having to search for you in the thick fabric of space and time, through the multitude of worlds, until I reached the bottom of that cave in one of the underworlds."

For a moment he was stunned by her words, but as she got out of bed, wrapped herself in a robe and headed for the kitchen, he followed her, sorting through all the questions that ran rampant through his head.

"So what was that place? An underworld you called it?"

"It's just a generic term for worlds that have devolved over time. The one you saw wasn't the worst by a long shot, but I doubt you found it pleasant. The energy there was suffocating for me. It felt like swimming through sewage."

"But how did I even get there? I thought you said I couldn't travel between worlds until I'm fully recovered."

"You didn't exactly travel." She sighed, and nibbled on her bottom lip, searching for the proper words. "The place from where I draw power is protected, just like all similar places. To access it you need to pass a series of tests to be deemed worthy and last night when you tried to drink in its power through me, you alerted the guardians of that power. So they tested you."

"That was a test? Killing those spiked monsters? And what would have happened if I failed."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Not killing them. Choosing to face them no matter the odds when you could have gone back and followed the song. You chose bravery when you had no obligation to anyone and that speaks to the kind of man you are."

"And if I had followed the song?"

"You would have remained there forever and I couldn't have done a thing to help you."

"But you did drag me out eventually."

"They allowed me to watch from the sidelines until things got too serious. Facing a lord of shadows wasn't part of the test, so that's when I was allowed to take you out."

"So that's what that thing was."

"Mhm, it's a type of demon that lost its right to a fixed form but that can possess those who wish to do his bidding. You killed its minions, but I doubt you could overpower it alone."

"I take it you've fought one before."

"Never alone."

"So, is that the kind of place your job takes you to? That's what you do?"

A shadow passed over her face and she hesitated. Eventually, she gave him the shortest, vaguest answer: "Sometimes."

She fell silent after that and just continued to make breakfast. It didn't look like she wanted to tell him anything more, so he didn't pry further. It wasn't hard to guess why she was so reluctant to share more of her secrets with him. He had already betrayed her trust once and it would probably be a while before he'd regain what was lost.

What if he could never regain it? The thought sent a shiver down his spine. Some things, once shattered, can never be mended.

It was she who broke the silence in the end.

"You still haven't told me what you want to fight on Saturday."

He clung to her words like a lifeline.

"I was thinking maybe some draconids will do for Saturday, along with the monsters I've already told you about. That should suffice."

He launched himself into a diatribe about the various characteristics of draconids which continued all the way until they reached the university. It was much easier to talk about monsters than about feelings, and it gave him a way of avoiding the consequences of his betrayal. He kept talking to fill the air between them, afraid that if he stopped and let her lead the conversation, then he'd see her attitude change towards him, see her grow colder and more distant. Not that he didn't deserve it.

It was lucky that there were plenty of draconids that he knew of, so he had no trouble talking about them until they were home again.

On the surface, she acted as if nothing had happened. Despite this, he wanted to make amends for the hurt he caused her. So, as soon as they were home, he was eager to make her forget all of his inappropriate behaviour and show her how much he wanted her. Show her that he could be selfless and tender and caring. Whatever it took to put the pieces back together.

He never was the romantic type. He knew nothing of poetry or song, but he knew how to make her feel like he worshipped her body. Hoping that bringing her pleasure could erase the pain, he made use of all his skills in the bedroom to accomplish his task and spent the better part of the evening with his face buried between her legs, until she eventually had to drag him out.

"Geralt, please stop!" she moaned and tugged at his hair. "Never thought I'd ever stop a man from doing that so well..."

"So don't stop me then..."

He attempted to get back to his previous occupation, but she moved away.

"What's wrong?"

"You're overdoing it out of... I don't know... guilt maybe. You think you're doing me a favour?"

She paused and looked at him, but clearly, it was rhetorical.

"I'm not looking to be... serviced. I could get that anywhere - although admittedly not as well. Stop trying to pay a debt no one has set for you. I asked you this morning to talk to me. I ask you again. Can you do that?"

"I'm not good at this."

She raised an eyebrow, not seeming to get his meaning.

"I'm not good at relationships, I don't know what women want to hear, I can't compose a poem to save my life, can't sing for shit, but I can dedicate myself to you for however long you take to be fully satisfied. That's my version of an ode to your beauty."

"Oh, Geralt, have I ever seemed displeased with your efforts? If so, I must apologize!" she laughed. "I appreciate your passion and zeal, but there is no greater compliment you can give me than your pleasure!"

She pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him.

"I don't need flowery words. Your grunts and moans are eloquent enough to compose an ode worthy of the most beautiful of women."

She leaned in close. Resting on a forearm, she reached back and directed him in. He let out a moan as she sank onto his length and moved atop him.

She smiled, satisfied. "Mmm, now that's a beautiful start for this composition..."

Their duet left them both with smiles on their faces and covered in sweat.

"That's one song I could sing all day and not get bored," he joked with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Now that's something I like to hear," she laughed.