One Week Later

Charlie

So far, things have been going well at the Hazbin Hotel. Starscream and his Seekers have been acclimating great and Alastor's been working on the commercial. Speaking of, Vaggie says he's done!

The two of us rushed down and saw the others sitting around the old TV. Baxter and the Seekers all sat on the largest couch, Husk was slouching on the recliner, Nifty was sitting on the coffee table, and Alastor and Starscream were standing up. Vaggie and I sat down on the loveseat. When everyone got settled, Alastor whistled a little tune as he walked up and turned on the commercial.

After watching the commercial, Alastor shut it off with a cheery, "So, whaddya think?"

Vaggie shouted, "What the hell was that?!"

"Why, the commercial you requested." Alastor innocently replied.

She snarled, "You made the hotel look like a joke!"

Alastor defended, "That's the point! I was going after a comedic tone. If it weren't for the fact that you made me use this infernal television," he disgustedly hit the TV with his cane, "and let me use radio, the proper medium, the advertisement would be much better."

Starscream offered, "In his defense, we didn't provide much positive footage. Looking at you Lucia."

Lucia hollered, "What the fuck did I do?"

"You shot at a car because an acorn landed on it!" the Overlord shouted.

Lucia defended, "Not my fault an acorn falling on a car hood sounds like a silenced pistol shot!"

Starscream questioned, "Then why the fuck did you unload two magazines on it?"

"I don't know about you guys," Angel butted in, "but I looked fabulous."

"You flipped off the camera." I pointed out.

Angel shrugged, "Just givin' off some of my trademark charm. But let me tell ya', film me going at it with smiles or crimson wings ova' there, and you'll be swimming in horny Sinners wantin' to stay." Angel seductively added, "Hell, we could even do a threesome~"

"Never going to happen." both Overlords stated in sync.

As Vaggie and the rest piped in, I got a call from my dad. I excused myself, "Sorry, but my dad is calling."

I walked off and listened to the call. Usually, he only calls me when he's bored or wants me to do something he doesn't want to do. This time was the latter, but I was glad.

I squealed, "Oh. My. Gosh! Thanks, Dad!"

Everyone looked at me when I did that. Vaggie asked, "Charlie, what's going on?"

I happily answered, "My dad didn't want to go to his meeting with the angels so he asked me to do it! Which means..."

"This'll be the perfect opportunity to communicate your idea to heaven." Starscream finished.

"Exactly!" I squealed, jumping up and down.

Starscream laughed, "Then what are we waiting for? Charlie, I'll come with you."

Vaggie asked, "Hold on, who said you'd be going with Charlie? You still need to stay to remake the commercial."

"Oh, please. As a politician, I am especially equipped to handle negotiations such as this. Charlie will benefit from my presence at the meeting." Starscream refuted. Strangely, he seemed weirdly excited when said he'd go with me but returned to his posh tone when talking to Vaggie.

Vaggie responded, "Look, you've been hanging around Charlie way too much. You're pretty much her second shadow."

"Vaggie, you heard him. He was a politician, and politicians specialize in these kinds of things." I added. "Besides, it's actually kinda nice to have him around."

Vaggie stared daggers into the Overlord, "Alright. But if you try anything, my spear is going right between your eyes."

"Someone's jealous~," Alastor said in a singsong voice.

Vaggie sneered, "Shut up Alastor!" She turned to Starscream, "Look, believe it or not, I trust you around her more than I trust Alastor. At least you actually try to protect her and take redemption somewhat seriously."

"Why, thank you, Vaggie. Those are the kindest words you have spoken to me." Starscream thanked me in a tone I couldn't discern as either sarcastic or genuine.

"Yeah, well don't expect much else." Vaggie joked. She turned to me with a much happier tone, "Knock 'em dead, hun."

"I will, Vaggie. Thank you." I appreciated, kissing her.

Starscream half-joked half-suggested, "You know, I was taught to officiate marriages. I could officiate your marriage and eliminate any fear of your relationship being tampered with."

"You know, I'll let that slide. But only because that sounds somewhat like a good idea." Vaggie replied.

I chuckled. "That sounds nice."

Starscream beckoned, "Come on, Charlie. We have a meeting to attend."

I nodded. As I walked over, I sang, "I can do this, somehow I know it. I'll get Heaven behind my plans." (Vaggie: "Charlie, hold on.")

I continued, "There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance" (Vaggie: "It's just a meeting.")

"To change their minds, and touch their hearts. Or whatever Angels have." I added. (Vaggie: "This could be bad.")

I piped, "Cheer up, Vaggie! This could be swell."

I finished, "Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell!"

I ran outside and began dancing, singing as I went. "There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air!" I looked around, "Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare! It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere, If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell"

I saw someone walking by and waved, "Hi, mister!" He responded with, "Go fuck yourself!" Starscream responded by shooting close to his foot.

Hell Denisens began singing, "There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul."

"Hello!" I beamed.

They continued, "Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole."

I went around, "Ah, excuse me!"

They droned on, "Doing what is required, we all have our role." A Sinner groaned, "I'm not doing well"

They sang, "Another shitty day in Hell!"

I belted, "If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, That any soul can change!" (Sinners: "Those angels' minds are hard to change."

"Then they will know everyone can be redeemed, From the evil to the strange!" (Sinners: "They're bloodthirsty and deranged!")

I twirled, "I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced, And I know that they're more of an acquired taste. But if I open the door and I give them a place, At my Hazbin Hotel! It'll be a happy day in Hell!"

I continued onward. "From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go, To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows, To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown," I looked and saw a bunch of children eating a dude. "'Cause holy shit, oh my gosh, why?!"

Starscream stepped between me and the cannibals as I went on, "And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye! 'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide!"

"I can do this, I just know it," (Sinners: "There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul")

"I'll get Heaven behind my plans." I sung.

"There's just no way I could blow it," (Sinner: "I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole.")

"Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance to, change their minds-"

A slug sinner came up and opened his coat, "And touch my parts." Starscream growled, "Back off!"

I declined, "Uh, no thank you, I'm just gonna," I twirled, "Fulfill my destiny!"

I belted, "I can already tell; Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in Hell"

Eventually, through singing and dancing, I got to the doors of the Heaven Embassy. Starscream opened the doors for me, and we went to the front desk.

After looking around a bit, I rang the bell. Immediately, a sign popped up saying, "Please wait for your appointment."

Seeing this, Starscream and I shrugged and sat down on a nearby chair. With the time, I wanted to ask him something. I asked, "Hey, Starscream?"

"Yes, Charlie?" he responded.

I inquired, "Why did you tell me that you're a Cybertronian?"

He chuckled, "Because you are very trustworthy, of course."

"I know, but the only other person you told was Baxter. You didn't even tell your Seekers." I pointed out.

"Well, I have worked with Baxter's family for decades. Plus, you remind me of a dear friend of mine when I was alive."

"Oh, okay." I realized.

We waited for a bit, and a set of doors opened with a sign calling us in. We walked in, and inside were two angels. One wore a white robe and had a black face with yellow eyes and a yellow mouth. The other was a standard Exterminator, with the dark grey uniform, "X" over her eye, everything.

The man in the middle greeted, "'Sup bitches?"

Starscream politely introduced himself. "Greetings. I am Starscream, and I am with..." he beckoned to me.

I started, "I am Charlie Morningstar! Princess of-"

The man interrupted me, "I know you're the Princess, so cut the shit."

Starscream stiffened. "Regardless if you knew her or not, it is common etiquette to let the lady finish before speaking. Especially a royal." he bit.

The man just laughed, "Ha ha! See you got a boy-toy here, eh?"

"Um, Starscream is not my boy-toy." I corrected

"Really? Is he your sugar daddy then?" he asked.

Starscream sneered, "I assure you, I am neither a 'boy-toy' nor a 'sugar daddy', whatever that means. I am an acquaintance of Charlie's, and I came here to help with the meeting."

"Wow, really gotta work on that temper if you can't take a joke." the man in the middle replied.

"Anyways, as I was saying," I piped in, "we were here on a meeting to talk about my hotel, remember?"

"Oh, right. That. Well, lay it on me." the man in the middle responded.

Starscream asked, "Shouldn't you tell us your names first?"

The man laughed, "Right, that's what I forgot! Well, I'm Adam, the Adam, and this," he pointed a thumb to the exterminator next to him, "is Lute."

It took a moment for me to process, but I realized. "Wait, you're Adam? As in, the first man Adam?"

"Yeah, I fuckin' rock," he answered, putting up a rock sign.

"Well, Mr. Adam, I would like to-" I started.

He cut me off, "Wait, I got the funniest stories. And may as well start this off with a bit of humor, eh?"

I stammered, "Well, okay..." Starscream muttered, "Frag you, Adam."

Adam didn't seem to notice Starscream's comment. "So, there wa this girl, a real bad bitch. Anyway, I was performing a gig, and she wanted a night of fun if you catch my drift. But she wanted to go with the drummer. The drummer! She'd rather go with a drummer's dick instead of the First Man's dick. I mean, come on! I'm the original dick, the Dickmaster!" He continued to ramble on and on for a while.

Eventually, when he finally stopped, Starscream suggested, "Shouldn't we be more focused on Charlie's pitch instead of your sex life?"

Adam disinterestedly answered, "Okay, continue."

I cleared my throat. "Well, as you know-"

Adam inturrupted, "Hold on for just a sec. Hey, Lute, how many kills did you get this last Extermination?"

Lute came forward, "My confirmed kill count is 247."

"Ha! Pound it, dangertits!" Adam laughed, giving Lute a fist pump. "Anyway, go on." Adam added, "By the way, you only got a few minutes, so make it quick."

I looked at the clock, and they were right. "Okay, I've got a lot to get through, and not a lot of time; And I feel like you weren't hearing me before. So here it goes, ahem."

I began singing, "I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls; At my Hazbin Hotel, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!"

I reorganized my thoughts, and Starscream muttered, "Talk about the exterminations." I realized, "Right, extermination!"

I continued, "I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year, And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell!"

I belted, "It'll be a happy day in He—"

Adam interrupted me, "Let me stop you right there." (Charlie: Oh." Starscream: sneering.)

Adam continued, "Save us all precious time." (Charlie: "Okay." Starscream: growling.)

He asked, If what you're suggesting is letting them climb; Up the ladder oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates?" (Charlie: Well, um-") "Sorry sweetie, but there's no defyin' their fates!"

He sung, "'Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white; There's no use in tryin' to fight it! They're burnin' for their lives until we kill 'em again!" (Charlie: Okay, but-")

Adam ignored us, "Just try to chillax babe, you're wasting your breath. Did I hear you imply that they don't deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry," (Charlie: "Well actually, if you take a look-") "Fair is fair, an eye for an eye!" (Starscream: "Could you just listen?!")

Adam and his angels then joined for a chorus. "And, when all's said and done (Angels: Said and done!) There's the question of fun? And for those of us with divine ordainment, Extermination is entertainment!"

Adam began air-guitaring, "Bow-now-now-nownow, guitar solo, fuck yeah! Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow."

I muttered, "Oh my god..." while Starscream gaped, "What the frag...?"

Adam and his angels went on, "Hell is forever, whether you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better-" (Charlie: Where did all of you people come from?) "Now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white; There's no use in tryin' to fight it! They're burnin' for their lives until we kill 'em again!"

Adam belter, "Fuckin', Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor, 'cause you don't have a shot!" (Starscream: "Shut the frag up!") Long as I got your attention, I guess I should probably mention: That we made the determination To move up the next extermination!" (Charlie and Starscream, "What?!")

Adam concluded, "Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts. I know it's just been a week, but we'll be back in six months!

I yelled after them, "Um, wait, didn't you— Ugh, shit!"

He just laughed as he flew away, shouting words I didn't care to acknowledge. I was shocked, but Starscream was pissed. He began shooting his null rays and machine guns all around, shouting Cybertronian profanity that would shock even Angel Dust.

He was still shouting as we walked out, kicking the chairs of the waiting room and still shooting. "That bot-fragging son of a Cessna! Mother fragger! Piece of slag knockoff!" he shouted, along with other stuff that were probably Cybertronian racial slurs.

I didn't even bother trying to calm him. I was still processing the fact that the next Extermination would be in six months. Starscream managed to regain his composure after destroying a good chunk of the Heaven embassy. When he did, he decided to check on me.

"Hey, Charlie. You okay?" he asked, much calmer now.

I shook, "They... They cut our time in half! We only have six months! All my plans were for a year!"

"Charlie, Charlie, relax. Once we start pumping Sinners into Heaven, those half-clocked waste outlets," he sneered looking up, "will have to admit you're right."

I chuckled, "Heh, thanks, Screamer."

He smiled, "No worries. Let's just go home and work double time."

"You're right. We have to work harder now." I answered.

We walked out of the embassy and began walking back to the hotel. It was mostly uneventful, probably because Starscream was still scaring off Sinners who were trying to mess with us. However, the quiet walk was interrupted when a van drove by us, and a bunch of goons leaned out.

Starscream shouted as he grabbed me, spun around so his back faced the van, and shielded me with his wings. The sound of gunshots told me he just saved me from a drive-by. After the goons stopped and started to drive away, Starscream turned around and, while still shielding me with his wings, began returning fire to the van while shouting at them.

When the whole ordeal was over, he turned to me and asked, "Charlie, are you okay?"

"Y-yeah... I'm fine," I stammered, "But what about you? You got shot over and over."

He stretched his back and reassured me, "Oh, it's nothing. At worst I'll have an aching back for the rest of the afternoon."

I asked, "Are you sure? They shot you a lot."

"Charlie, I'm a Cybertronian. I'm fine," he answered.

I questioned, "Why would those people shoot at us? Are we in their turf?"

Starscream sneered as he explained, "No. That was a Voxtek van. My guess? Vox sent his goons after me and you just so happened to be with me when they saw me. I was almost certainly the target while you were a bystander."

"Man, Vox really hates you." I pointed out.

He chuckled, "I did humiliate him on live TV. Even still, things like this are why I prefer to fly; because everyone in hell who can fly either works for me or can't catch me. On the ground, that's a different story."

"Well, I'm just glad you aren't too hurt. How about you fly us home so we can avoid this." I suggested.

Starscream agreed, "That's a good idea. However, in light of the drive-by, I have business to attend to."

"Oh no, don't tell me you're going after Vox. Thay guy is trouble," I warned.

He laughed, "Well, to normal Sinners, maybe. But to anyone who he hasn't hypnotized, the sheer scale of how pathetic he is is glaringly obvious." Starscream clarified, "Anyhow, no, I'm not going after Vox. Eather, I have to find someone."

I sighed, "Can you at least fly me home before you do that?"

He agreed, "As you wish, Charlie."

Starscream grabbed onto me, spread his wings, and began flying through the sky. I'll admit, flying is really fun. No wonder he loves it so much. Even without his propulsion boots, he can still fly at a bit above Mach 1. With his boots, that rises to Mach 2.8.

It took no time for Starscream to get me home. I waved him goodbye as he flew off to attend to whatever business he needed to do. When he did, I walked in to face the music.