Melting Ice

by Slinkkangaroo

Icicle has been trapped in the Ice castle's prison for about two years with no sign of release. Out of no where, she gets a visit from Lynx of all dragons and is given a chance to make amends. Now Icicle sees how the world has a changed and she has to wonder if she even belongs in it anymore. Will she find her place or be swallowed by her past failures?

11. Chapter 11

The unending sound of the orange lava bubbling down the volcano was endless. There was little wind on the faraway island and when it did come to this part of the ocean, it blew the ashes that laid along the ground like a corrupted snowy landscape into the eyes of any creature that was unlucky enough to find themselves trapped there. There were no birds to sing as they sailed through the open blue sky. No plants could grow to give a sense of life to this desolate nightmare of an island. The water sources that could be found were salty and as dark as the night sky that threatened to poison those that try and drink from it. The only sign of life was the popping of orange bubbles in the lava, each one symbolizing its desire to devour all in its way as it slumbered, awaiting another eruption that may never come.

That was where Icicle found herself after her three day flight. She had no idea how fast she was flying and no interest in stopping. She pushed her wings to what she thought would be their limits but only found herself flying even faster. Each wing beat tried to rip apart her white ice-like wings to leave her as an overgrown lizard but the one thing Icicle could always rely on was her own body. Even in a time like this for her, the Icewings body wouldn't give up as it took her from one side of the continent to the other, away from everyone else where she belonged.

The trip wasn't nice though, far from it. Icicle flew through heavy rain which only added to the weight on her wings. Some strikes of lightning were so close she could have sworn the great Ice dragon was trying to strike her down. The bolts of light gave her slight blindness at times as she crashed into the mud and trees, forcing herself back up after each one despite her body's protest for rest. The wind blew harshly and pushed raindrops into her eyes so much that they looked like tears against her cheeks. But Icicle knew she never let one of her own tears fall. She wasn't sad, how could she be? This was what she had to do and if anything, it helped Lynx, Winter, Sora, moons it probably helped the whole continent. So why wasn't she happy?

Being trapped in the Icewings prisons was horrible. It was lonely, dark, and cramped. Icicle never liked being confined. Not in a physical sense but she hated the idea that she couldn't do anything. She hated 'helping' Winter hunt because all it meant was her standing back and letting her pathetic brother kill a snow leopard. There was no fun in watching, but in getting your own claws dirty. Being trapped in a cell was the worst of both worlds. Not only could she not physically do anything, but she was at the mercy of whoever was holding her. But under no circumstance would Icicle ever bow to the Icewing Queen who had sentenced her.

This was different. Icicle's breaths drew in black dust that tried to choke her. Her nostrils had lost all sense of smell, or was it that there was nothing to smell but charred rotting dirt? Her scales, once pure white that made even the prettiest of Icewings jealous, was covered in spots of now hardened mud, dried up green grass, small red blisters from the flickering lava bubbles popping beside her, and ash covering her from head to tail. She was almost unrecognizable.

Icicle's body growled. The last time she ate was…three days ago? She hadn't even eaten while trying to hunt down Sora. The moment she landed on the island, getting by some orange lava, her body gave out. None of her claws wanted to move, her back stretched out so she matched the dying atmosphere. Icicle wasn't happy, sad, or even mad. She felt…nothing. There were no dragons to see her, no prey to look up at her expecting to be eaten. Even the portraits were gone.

She didn't even know how long she had been here. At least before, she could count how many times she saw the sun. Now, the smoke from the eruption blocked out the sky and messed with her way to tell time. It didn't help that she kept drifting in and out of consciousness that messed with her internal clock even more. Though it wasn't like that mattered anymore. She had no intention of going back through the animus touched cave that led her here even for food and the water was way too harmful for any fish to live. Time was irrelevant now. What mattered to Icicle was that she finally got rid of that awful feeling. She wasn't threatened by her rage or her guilt. She simply felt nothing now. The sad thing about feeling nothing is that she couldn't be happy about it.

Her body felt so weak. Her stomach yearned for food but her body wanted sleep. They fought one another for control of what to do and Icicle didn't care, letting them settle it. Her throat hurt, her head hurt, her claws hurt, her wings hurt, her tail hurt, even her chest hurt. She was so used to telling Winter that injuries go away so he should stop complaining about them but here she was, not sure if she would ever stop hurting.

What hated most was this guilt. Not from her parents, brothers, cousins, no one in her family made this guilt stick. But what she did to Lynx…after the advisor had tried so hard to help her, how could she just knock a tree on her? "Because that's who I am. She was stupid to think she could change me." She didn't like thinking negatively about the dragon she should have considered a friend, but there was no other word to describe trying to help someone like her. "Friend…like I deserved one like her. Sorry Lynx, you should have picked someone worth helping." How many dragons were banished or punished for crimes that they didn't deserve? She ridiculed the Talons of peace but they wanted to end a long war between the tribes. Did some of them deserve to be banished forever? Couldn't Lynx have tried to help one of them?

Icicle wondered at what point she wished she could go back to. The time before Hailstorms capture? No, because then she would have to deals with her parents talking about how she was never as good as him. His dashing smile that everyone adored would continue to be a reminder of what she could never be. Loveable and liked. Before she was truly given the task to kill Queen Glacier? Nope. The moment she hatched as a girl, her parents already knew what she was destined to do even if they didn't tell her straight away. She could see it in their eyes. Maybe before she tried to negotiate Hailstorms release? Even that was doubtful. Icicle spent almost all of her time studying or mocking Winter. Sure it was 'fun' but deep down, she hated it the uneasy feeling of failure that was bubbling up the more she thought about confronting the Skywing she learned that Sora wanted her dead? Then Scarlet would still be haunting her memories, tormenting her of her brothers death. A death she didn't think would affect her until she thought he was truly dead. Before she pushed that tree on Lynx? "No, I needed to know that is who I truly am."

Icicle's eyes blazed like wildfire but she didn't have the energy to turn away from the boiling liquid just over the edge. "I wish I could drink lava." She thought, wishing a dragon's stomach could withstand the molten rock. Her breathing had grown small and barely noticeable. Her chest raised and fell gently but to most, she would just look like any other rock or ash pile. But that was when she felt a claw poke her right wing. It wasn't hard or painful, just a light tap. Instinctively, her wing folded back slightly and there was a sound of a sigh giving relief.

"For a second I thought you had turned into that petrified Nightwing at the entrance to the tunnel." It was Hailstorm. She knew his voice. She never forgot his voice, nor the last thing he said to her before the Skywings got him. "See you when we get back." But he never did come back. SHE had to go out and find HIM. He didn't try and see her after he got his life back. He didn't visit her once in all the time she was imprisoned. She hadn't seen him for years until a few days ago, something he didn't look too happy about. "Why would he be happy to see me? We never talked much and I never needed him." Icicle didn't respond to her brother's words. Her heart barely beat with each passing moment. "I think the outposts are better than this." He said grimly. "Fish, cold, and company. Though I guess I could work as company, huh?" He nudged her side teasingly but he still didn't get a response, just more bubbling liquid below them. He peered over the cliff and his eyes widened, turning back to Icicle. "Company isn't as fun if we don't talk."

Icicle was annoyed Hailstorm still thought he was funny. He was trying to joke around but she didn't care for it, or anything. For the first time in days, she opened her mouth to speak. It hurt to do it. Like ash and knives digging into her throat. "Go away." What should have been full of emotion and volume was empty and hollow. Her voice was cracked like broken glass and almost as quiet as a whisper. Hailstorm didn't need to be here. He didn't need to have a laugh with Icicle. "So why is he here?"

The older Icewing took a look at his claws and wiped off the ash. "I sort of missed you thinking you were as threatening as a great shark." He had a smile on his face but his words were followed by imminent silence. Hailstorm eventually sat down beside her and rested his head on the ground. "Ok, don't talk. I don't mind giving a speech." He cleared his throat. "I remember when I was an only child."

"Good grief." Icicle thought in annoyance before squashing it down with nothingness. "Did you know our parents were always cold and distant? Winter used to think it was just when he came along but nope. They always expected more than a dragonet could provide. I felt…alone. No one in school thought that the charming, kind, and not to brag, humble Hailstorm could have been raised by such blocks of unmelting ice." His tail swayed behind them and occasionally sent ash to Icicle's spiky tail which she didn't respond to. "Then they had two more eggs and I got excited. For selfish reasons, if I'm being honest. I thought that finally there would be other dragons I could share my grievances with. Dragons I didn't have to be perfect around." Icicle felt the embers in her eyes grow lighter, brightening the darkness inside of them as she thought about his words.

"Selfish? How is that selfish?" Her breathing quickened as Icicle felt the heat beat against her scales. Hailstorm wasn't slow to speak but he took a second to collect his memories. "Of course then you two hatched and I was ecstatic. But I saw the look from mom and dad and realized it wouldn't be what I thought it would. I knew they wanted us as tools and with one look, they figured Winter would never be what they wanted him to be. But you? They saw something in you that they wanted to bring out." No dragon could remember hatching, their memories didn't even form for a few weeks. How was Icicle supposed to remember what look her parents gave her? "The way they praised you and scorned Winter at every turn, it frustrated me. I didn't think it was fair that they compared you two." The bubbling of the lava filled Icicle's ears as she was forced to listen to her brother talk about how her other brother had such a difficult life. "He did, and it was partly your fault." Everytime she mocked him for failing to kill prey or getting questions wrong on a test. She was trying to replicate her parents, hoping they would see her as the daughter that was just like them, the one that could be Queen.

Hailstorm clenched his claws in the ash and looked back at Icicle. "Icicle, I'm sorry for not seeing how much they were pushing you. I thought they treated you better than Winter and that you didn't need me to look after you like I di-tried to do for Winter. I should have been there and-" He stopped and looked out into the orange sea. "I'm sorry for not visiting you." He said weakly, his voice as low as a mouse against the barren ash wasteland.

Instead of a response, Hailstorm just heard the wind howling at them as it shoved more ash in their direction. One of the Icewings seemed way more bothered by this than the other. Hailstorm looked about ready to smack his head with a rock in frustration, but Icicle wasn't sure who he was frustrated at. "Moons, you are like talking to a wall." He gripped but then found himself chuckling. "I guess some things never change, huh?"

Hailstorm turned back to Icicle, his perfect white and blue scales growing dirty by the waving ash. When Icicle took a second to glance into her brother's warm gaze, she felt a horrible feeling that she never knew. She was a beaver trying to hold back water. "Can I ask why you didn't hurt Sora?" He looked genuinely confused, something Icicle never remembered him looking like. "I mean, I'm glad you didn't but…why?"

Icicle opened her mouth, almost choking on the lump in her throat as she closed her eyes tightly to shield them from the ash. "Because I wasn't strong enough." She muttered, just barely audible. Her voice was weak and broken, just like her body at this point. It was a cruel realization that even if she wanted to fight, she couldn't. "I wasn't strong enough to side with Winter against mom and dad." She remembered the shameful look her younger brother gave when his parents scolded him. "I wasn't strong enough to fight Aunt Glacier." The cold, dark imposing figure of the former Queen still haunted her. It was a looming threat of her own life and how small she really was. "I wasn't strong enough to get you back…f-from Queen Scarlet." She bit her tongue, holding back the water even more. "Both back then, then again…when I said I would kill the dragonets of destiny." She groaned in internal pain. Recalling these memories hurt like crashing into a pile of rocks. "And I-I wasn't strong enough to change." She felt her brother's piercing eyes stare deep into her supposedly empty soul. Her talons shivered against the ash. "I was never strong enough. No matter how much I tried…I could never do it." She didn't even bother to turn to look at him, she didn't think she could at this point. "I should have saved you. Dad thought I could fix Winter's mistake…but I only made it worse." Her claws clenched as she wished her head could bury into the dirt. "Like I keep doing."

And now they were back to silence. Hailstorm wasn't sure what to say to her after that. Though Icicle was more annoyed that she couldn't even muster up the words "I'm sorry" when it came to not being able to rescue her older brother, the one that her parents always compared her to in private. The one that, if she could save, she would prove that she was better. "Even my only good action was selfish." She thought darkly. Hailstorm let out a loud groan of annoyance as he turned up to the shaded sky. "You and Winter really are twins. Stupid minds think alike." He tried to give her a smile but Icicle didn't return it. "He blames himself too. Both of you need to realize that it was my fault." He waited for a few seconds and Icicle felt a wing drape over her. It was oddly comforting, but a comfort she didn't think she deserved. "You two…I didn't think my disappearance would hurt both of you so much…I just-I wanted to help Winter. If I had known thirty Skywings would be there…I probably would have brought you to take them all on." He said, nudging her gently. "You and I probably could have taken them."

Hailstorm waited for her to respond but he didn't get one. Instead, he rolled his eyes and sighed. "You are really stubborn. On the bright side, if it takes this much to beat you down then you're stronger than you're giving yourself credit for." If Icicle had it in her to laugh, she probably would. Which would be followed by a great pain in her chest and a long coughing fit. This wasn't exactly the most fun day Icicle had ever had. Her brother's wing continued to rest over her, a shield against the horrible island but a shield Icicle didn't think she deserved. "You know, trying to find you was not easy. Crystal, Winter, and myself have all been freaking out trying to find you. But do you know who wasn't all that scared? Snowfall." He said, looking off into the smokey sky above them. "She said that after talking with you, she didn't think you would do it. She thought that you weren't the same cousin she laughed at failing to ask out that merchant's son." He gave her a joking smile. "You didn't exactly have my alluring tone."

The Icewing princess didn't care to hear much of what he said. She groaned, her throat hurting even more. "She knew I was weak. She had our mother to tell us." She felt the stinging words bite her throat like snakes. Their fangs sunk deep.

Hailstorm however seemed annoyed at this assumption. His chest raised and lowered based on his more heavy breathing, likely from the weaker air of the island. "You know that's not what I mean. She thinks you changed. Now I don't know why because from what I remember, she's still a paranoid princess with a slightly higher title change, but she thinks Lynx helped you more than Lynx does."

"Lynx?" Icicle asked with a small voice. "Is she better?" Why was she even asking? It was her fault Lynx got her, all for trying to help her. Just the memory was enough to make Icicle feel worse than anything on this stupid island.

Her elder brother rocked back and forth, thinking of how to say it. Had he spoken with her a few days ago, he might have been more callous and uncaring about his description but seeing his sister in her crumbled state made him look differently. "She…none of her injuries will be permanent." He looked down at Icicle, trying to look past the hazy fog that she was using the shield her inner thoughts. "But you don't meant that, do you?" He let out a small huff. "She isn't happy, but I wouldn't call it anger. She just seems…unmotivated? I don't really know how to put it. It's like she just stopped caring."

"She feels like a failure." Icicle ended. It was a feeling Icicle knew well. Not one that she associated with the bubbly and joyful Lynx. Hailstorm looked offended on Lynx's behalf but Icicle didn't give him a chance to start. "It's like flying on a cold stormy night. You hear this sound, someone you care about calling out to you, begging for your help. You are the only one they can count on. The storm tries to keep you down but no matter how much it hurts, you keep flying. Through the drops of rain, you see a light. But for each wing you flap, it runs further from you until…that person stops calling. The knowledge that you couldn't save them, it drops you into a dark pit that you can't climb out of. It hurts when you know it's your fault." She needed a second to take in some air. "I don't know why she blames herself. She didn't do anything."

Hailstorm took this and seemed to understand it better. "Maybe she thinks it's her fault? I mean, wasn't it her idea? A lot of dragons probably tried to talk her out of it."

"Did you?" It was a sudden question but Icicle couldn't stop herself from asking it. Though she figured she might not have wanted to know the truth.

Her brother bit his lip and his eyes darted to the side. He looked uneasy and his mind raced even more, deciding whether to be honest or say what he thought sounded nice. He chose honesty. "I-I didn't know…but I would have-I would have told her…" He stopped then looked back at her weakly. "I wouldn't have done it. But I'm glad she did."

That was great. It was the answer Icicle expected but it still felt like a dagger digging into her back and clawing down. She guessed Winter probably felt similar to his brother and she already knew that Lynx was the only Icewing that seemed in favor of it. "Ridge might have…if he knew." That made her feel a bit better despite it maybe not being true.

She felt his wing pull her closed into a hug that she really didn't want. Hugs were never something she enjoyed, mostly because she only got them jokingly from Hailstorm as a way to mock her. But this one didn't feel like a joke. "Icicle, I'm sorry for not being there for you. I-I really am happy that I get a chance to make up for the time we didn't spend together. If-if you want to." He tried to smile but he saw something behind the mist that told him she was thinking of something darker.

Icicle's heart barely beat against her chest. At some points she wondered if she was even still existing or if this was some endless dream she could never wake up from. She swallowed back her pride and tried to dive deeper into this empty feeling. It helped her keep her emotions back. "I hated you." She groaned, burying her head in the ash despite her neck's protest at the movement. "You were the dragonet she wished was a girl. She wanted you to kill Aunt Glacier and sit on the throne." She felt her throat open up like a cracked open watermelon. "Father wanted my claws to always be as sharp as yours, to be able to kill as fast as yours." Her claws dug into the ash. "I hated that you were their favorite. I hated that everyone loved you." She sniffed weakly. "I hated that you were still more liked after your death than I ever was. I hated th-the idea that…that our parents loved their son who could never take the throne over me, who had a chance because…" She shut her eyes even more tightly, feeling her claws dig into her own scales but ignored the pain. "Because even they knew I couldn't do it. They knew I'd die if I ever challenged her." She felt the river beat against the dam she had constructed. She hated it. It made her feel even weaker than she already did. "It wasn't your fault, I shouldn't feel this way but I do. I wish you or Winter had to live my life but you two had it worse but I don't want to believe that." She bit her tongue as her voice went silent.

The wind blew against the dark island and the blackened sky swirled around them. It was an accurate reflection of Icicle's mind right now. Laying next to the bubbling lava probably wasn't good for her but at this point she stopped caring. If she did, Icicle would have stopped after her wings felt like they were about to tear off. Hailstorm remained still. After hearing why his own sister hated him, it was hard to think of what to say. "We can't control how we're born. We can only control what we do with the life we are given." He said whimsically. Icicle was thinking about pointing out that he stole that from Snow Fox's book on the outer ring. "But I do know why you are mad…I always thought that our parents adored you because they finally had a chance to take the throne. I didn't know that was the only reason they adored you." He took a deep breath and looked away from his sister. "I um…I talked with a Skywing at Sanctuary. She had a wonderful dragonet, you wouldn't believe they were Skywings based on their attitudes. But when I asked her what it was like having a dragonet, she said it was like a gift that could never be replaced. You try to raise them with your own past experiences but also to make them better than yourself. It isn't easy, I don't think anyone ever says it is, but she said under no circumstance would she ever give up her gift for anyone or anything." He looked back to her with a fainted look of sorrow. "I think our parents didn't see us as gifts. They probably didn't look at us and with a star struck expression like that Skywing did with her dragonet. I think…we were set up for failure." He said sadly, laying back down so his wing brushed against hers. "But that doesn't mean we can't still make something of ourselves. They said Winter would never amount to anything, now he's the ambassador of Sanctuary, representing dragons of all types! He's a hero to the Icewings and every other tribe. If you had told our parents that when we were dragonets, they would have sent you to a mental ward." He couldn't hold back a laugh which felt like a knife scraping on rock to Icicle's ears. "And look at me! I don't need to be some perfect image that can never come true, I can be a hut designer and music maker. Not to brag, but I'm pretty good." He nudged her gently, trying to get Icicle to open up her eyes despite her silent protest. "And you don't have to be Queen. You can be something else, someONE else. This is a new Pyrrhia, a new start for everyone."

"Make that new life with Lynx." Icicle said with her weak voice. "She's the sister you two deserve." It felt like a needle was jabbing into her heart but she felt the emptiness begin to fade. She wanted it back because that feeling was better than whatever this was. "I know you two preferred her, so just leave me here and tell them you couldn't find me." She tried to keep her voice emotionless but it was getting harder to do. Why wouldn't he just leave?! Why was he making this so difficult?!

The wing of Hailstorm tried to comfort her once more but was pushed back by her own which felt like a scroll tearing in two. She hated how his eyes made her feel things she shouldn't. Like someone was pitying her, like she was being cradled. "I'm not leaving you." He said, Hailstorm's voice more firm than before. "And we don't pr-"

"We never preferred Lynx!" A voice piped up behind them and Icicle felt something jump inside of her. It wasn't joy or anger, but a hurricane barreling through her chest. "I mean, ok she was nicer but we never saw her as a replacement! That never crossed our minds!" She felt her younger brother's tail bump against hers and she instinctively pulled it back.

"Winter, we had a plan!" Hailstorm hissed, turning around to face Winter and dragging his other wing onto Icicle. "You know, I do the sign and then we-"

"Oh shut up Hailstorm." But Winter was clearly biting his tongue to hold back his own goofy grin. He looked far less pathetic with a smile. "He never smiled when around me or our parents. Of course only Hailstorm would see it." But then it occurred to her that Lynx probably saw it too. "Lynx is an awesome friend, the greatest, but she could never replace you." He tried to get on her other side but Icicle's breathing began to rise and he stayed where he was. Even Hailstorm was looking worriedly at her. "Come on, you can't stay on this island. Let us take you back. I know everyone wants you to be safe."

The swirling storm turned cold and icy. The shards tried to rip Icicle open and she needed to stop it. She needed something to combat the frozen storm and the only thing she could think of, the only emotion she relied on to squash her lesser feelings, was anger. It was always reliable. When it was just Hailstorm, she couldn't do anything about the growing anguish but with Winter…she felt that spark light once again. It began to burn and all she needed to do was fuel it. "Fuel it…and I'll be me again. Just for a moment. Make them see so they'll leave for good." She thought, beginning to rise her head as Winter continued. "Hailstorm is right, this is a new Pyrrhia." He stuck out a claw for her to grab, to help her out of the pit she had dug herself.

Icicle, despite the pain, pulled away. The sudden movement surprised Hailstorm who sneezed as the ash fell onto him. Icicle felt a bolt of lighting rush through all of her limbs as she forced herself up to stand, looking down at her brothers with empty eyes guarded by mist and regret. "It's a new world that doesn't need nor want me." She tried to push back the emotion in her voice, wanting the dark aura swelling up inside of her to take over. To drive Hailstorm and Winter away and leave her there. "I had a chance when Winter told me we could save you together." She took a step towards Hailstorm who was starting to get up, the lava crackling behind him. "I had my chance when Lynx opened up my cell and showed me the burning sun that shined across an Ice kingdom that I used to call home." She bared her fangs, making Hailstorm look down at her and frown, not even trying to put up a fight which made the spark that Icicle thought was weakening begin to grow. "Do you know what I saw? I saw a world that moved on without me. I saw that I wasn't needed for the world to keep turning." Hailstorm stood to guard Winter and Icicle realized her claws were digging into the ash without her knowledge. "This is a new Pyrrhia. A pyrrhia where you two can become whoever you want to be. But I wasn't raised with that ever even being a thought." Her tail tried to lash out but it took all of her body's strength just to stay standing. Winter and Hailstorm would see her body shivering, not being able to tell whether it was out of anger or stress. "I've learned I can't be a part of this Pyrrhia and I'm done trying to be." She could feel the flames dying out already and the storm of ice began to bite at her. "So you shouldn't try to make me." She ran her tongue along her teeth and gave a pathetic attempt at a snarl.

Winter shook his head and approached his sister despite Hailstorm's look of warning. "A lot of dragons thought that. Turns out this new Pyrrhia is more open than you think. You just have to give it a chance." He gave her a small smile, his tail turned up as if he was expecting her to share in his optimism.

She didn't need his smile, or Hailstorm's, anyones. Icicle knew who she was and a smile was never something that helped her. It didn't comfort her when Blizzard tried to tell her everyone failed a hunt at some point. It didn't help when her friends tried to calm her after she got a question wrong on a test. It wouldn't help her now. She wouldn't let it help her. "You-you should hate me more than anyone." She scowled at Winter. "You were there for all of it. You saw every stupid mistake I ever made, you took everything I ever did to you, so why aren't you laughing?" She had nightmares of a situation like this. One where dragons she wronged saw her in a position of vulnerability and cackled just as she would. Now here it was, the dragon she hurt the most having his chance to…but he didn't. He was trying to help her and it made her…it made her…she didn't know. Icicle couldn't think of how to explain it other than jealousy. How could Winter still even think about trying to help her?

He needed a second to think, in fact he looked confused at the question which only frustrated her more. "Because that's not what you need right now. I want you to come back with us because Lynx saw something in you and I-I sort of saw it as well…now I know I do."

"I don't have it. Whatever you or Lynx saw, it isn't there." She tried to sound strong but it was clear she was struggling to keep her voice level. "I never needed you two and I don't need you now. Go back to being a happy family in this new world with your group of non Icewing friends." Her breathing was very heavy. Her lack of nutrients was showing as her chest very visibly rose and fell. Each word was about a second apart from each other.

Winter rubbed his eye from the awful air beating against him. "I know my friends would want to meet you. I know there are dragons who…who might be helped by seeing you, or learning from you."

Icicle's head swayed slowly back and forth, her mind so tired that the wind was able to move it like a dandelion. "Helped? Oh, I'm sure plenty of dragons would be helped by seeing me. Seeing a dragon with a perfect future destroyed and hated by everyone in her kingdom. Yeah, lots of dragons would probably feel a whole lot better after seeing me, thank you Winter. I've always loved your insight." She would have spat out the last word but there wasn't much water left in her body.

Hailstorm seemed to be on edge, still blocking Icicle from Winter and she needed to remind herself to stop looking so ready to slash out her brother's throat. It probably wasn't helping her. "I don't think he meant that. You were a much better student than I was and definitely Winter." Said Icewing elbowed him from behind but not enough to hurt. "You just don't use that brain of yours!" Winter took a step back, thinking about saying something but then stopping when he heard the raised voice of Hailstorm.

Even Icicle stopped glaring at Winter to shift her gaze to Hailstorm, feeling the pit open up once more as she tried to keep the sparks alive and hold the dam within her. "How would you know?" She barked out. "You weren't there to see how much I thought through everything! NO one ever put so much effort into studying a Queen like I did for Aunt Glacier. I could have written fifty scrolls over her actions and weekly activities! I was the top of my class for years after you were gone." She forced her head up to meet his gaze. "I learned how to be a better fighter than you in one year, so where exactly do I not use my brain?" The earth beneath them trembled as the island seemed to growl at their sibling bickering.

Hailstorm let out an annoyed groan, the one he usually had when they used to "talk". "I mean that you don't use it when it matters! You have always been so impulsive! When you messed up or got into an argument with Winter or myself your first instinct was always to break something! You've read countless scrolls in school about famous rulers of every tribe but you never seemed to grasp that the best dragons are those that take a step back and think before they act!" He paced back and forth, still in front of Winter but not seeming to look at his sister anymore. "You plan, sure, but the moment something goes wrong you lash out and look for a fight! When I came back, I hoped that you would have been different! That maybe you'd take a lesson from Winter and try to learn from an experience, but you got thrown in the cell for the same thing! You learned that Scarlet was still out there with me but did you go and tell anyone? NO! She wouldn't have even known! You didn't stop to think that maybe I was her only bargaining chip and she wouldn't dare throw me away from a mistake of yours. Scarlet could have been hunted by the Skywings or anyone but you didn't think!"

"I'm sorry for being the only dragon that tried to save you!" She tried shouting back but it just felt like spikes poking at her throat. "You try living with a bloodthirsty Skywing shouting at you every night! All while a dragon you thought would be a friend tries to kill you!" She tried to take another step and almost tripped but stopped herself. Holding back the dam was almost impossible as she was struggling to keep her limbs standing.

Winter tried to give her a reassuring look but without the smile. "We can just talk! Then, when we're done, if you still don't want to try-"

"I DID TRY!" She felt her voice break and Icicle nearly fell forward as her front claw went to grab her throat to sooth it. Icicle wasn't even sure if she believed those words, she was just saying what came to her head and it felt honest. Unfortunately for her, Icicle couldn't even say anything as she rubbed her throat. She felt hot tears fall from her eyes as her body rested in the ash. Her breathing was chaotic like rocks grinding against metal. When she swallowed, she felt the wound in her throat open up. She couldn't see anything as her eyes were shut tight and she couldn't stop the dam from breaking. She felt a pair of wings drape over her and Icicle didn't know how much time had passed until her voice sprouted into a small stem. Her voice was still tainted but at least she could talk, no matter how terrible her voice sounded. "I d-did try…L-Lynx w-wanted me to be better…s-s-she trusted me…I-" She just said what came to her mind the same way Hailstorm was just complaining to her about. "I wanted to b-be the dragon that…t-that she thought I c-could be…" She swallowed back her pride and let her tears fall. "B-but I just keep messing up. I mocked Queen Snowfall…I-I scared a dragonet…I ruined her party…I-I tried to kill Sora…and I-I hurt Lynx when a-all she wanted to do was help m-me…" She wanted to bury her head in her claws and never wake up. "I hated Hailstorm f-for something that wasn't his fault…I treated W-winter like h-he was a seventh ring s-sludge…" Icicle wasn't talking to them anymore. She was burying herself into the empty abyss that was overflowing with the icy cold water from her eyes.

Winter and Hailstorm didn't say anything while she talked, only Hailstorm would occasionally pat her back with his wing while she sniffed. It felt…surprisingly good to let her tears fall despite how it made her look. Not that she would ever admit it. Icicle didn't realize that the only other time she let herself cry was after her mother left from her only visit to Icicle's cell. They were tears of frustration and failure, but these were different. They felt like she was releasing some creature that was growing inside of her out and letting it dim into something more tame. Icicle still felt an odd pull, that she wasn't quite done and her brothers didn't seem to know what to say so the stage was still her's. She took one more breath and turned to face Winter, as much as it hurt both internally and externally.

"I-I'm sorry…W-winter…" She didn't know what to say she was sorry for specifically, for the name calling? Being needlessly aggressive in their fights? Mocking him for his friend group or lack thereof at times? "For existing?" She hoped he knew she meant all of it. Icicle had never said those words with heart behind them and it felt…not good, but she felt better after saying it as if something had been weighing her down since she was hatched finally being taken off. Well, not until Winter gave her a warm smile that contrasted the burning heat of the island. She let her head fall back into the ash so her words were muffled but from how close Winter and Hailstorm were, it didn't seem to matter. She could still hear the breaking of the tree as it fell onto Lynx, the one dragon that trusted her. "I-I want to change…" Icicle moaned weakly, feeling the spikes in her throat deepen. "I-I just don't know how." If her body could collapse again, it would have.

There wasn't any sound of the dragons talking for a good while as they listened to the blowing wind. The lava below them bubbled more ferociously while another earthquake grumbled around them. Winter moved slightly but the smallest movement would alert the other two. "Well I'm no Sunny, but I think you being able to say that means you already changed."

Icicle let that sink in. She couldn't imagine a version of her before ever uttering those words, especially not to them. But she did. Was Winter right? "Even if he is, it won't matter." She thought reproachfully. "So…now what?"

Hailstorm stifled a laugh at the obvious but uncertain question. He slowly moved up and shook his wings to get rid of some ash. "Well, we aren't staying here. I know Winter was about to give you a choice but as the older sibling I am making a rule that we aren't staying." He stretched his wings and yawned. "Besides, it took us a week to get here with Winter's shabby directions." He stopped as Winter complained that he was almost right and only off by a few days. "Speaking of, there is like, no food around here. Did you eat before you landed and looked like an ash pile?"

Icicle shook her head, forcing her mouth open to speak. "Just flew here in a day or two…" She decided not to add that she also had stopped for a drink since the two nearly shouted in frustration, asking how she not only made the trip in that short of time and also hadn't eaten. "...Well I wasn't following Winter so…"

"Har har." Winter griped, looking around for something edible and realizing just where he was. Hailstorm can carry you into the Rainforest and we can get a snack then leave. Hopefully Snowfall hasn't asked Queen Glory to start looking…"

Their older brother laughed at this, looking down at Icicle and shaking his head. "Yeah, because those two will work together on anything." Icicle felt like she was missing context to make that funny.

Hailstorm bent down to get her on his back but she refused, only leaning against him as she got up. "I can walk." She said stubbornly and the two began to follow Winter, each step hurting like thorns. She limped forward and figured that they could eat then she would be forced to face her cousin sooner or later. There was only one dragon she really did not want to see. Not out of anger, but regret. "But I need to see her…" Icicle turned to Hailstorm and let her wings fall a bit. "I'm guessing the royal advisors will want a second trial for this? I'm not so sure Snowfall will be as lenient as she was last time."

"Well lucky for you it's my call whether you get a trial anyway." The three stopped and Icicle saw Winter's wings fall as well as the Queen of the Icewings stood in front of the exit tunnel. She looked like a diamond sapphire surrounded by clay. "Though from how agitated I am at your brother's lack of direction, you aren't too wrong on your second point."

Winter seemed to look more annoyed than worried as he faced off against his more intimidating cousin. "I told you we could handle it and WOULDN'T need the Icewing Queen to follow us."

Snowfall tapped her chin lightly in mocking thought. "Yes, I remember you saying that. Then I remembered that I'm the Queen and can do what I want."

"So you followed us?" Hailstorm asked, looking slightly amused.

Snowfall raised a claw and looked it over, picking out the bits of ash that ruined her white and blue scales. "Hmm? I guess that's what happened. Well, what really happened was I told Crystal my plan was to follow you two then she left without me knowing. So I had to chase her and after a lot of yelling on my part, we agreed to come here together." Hailstorm and Winter did not look to thrilled about that but Snowfall didn't seem to care. "If you are mad that we might have overheard you, we didn't. We agreed to wait until you guys walked over to us. All of your wonderful sibling secrets are safe from us. Speaking of siblings, Crystal! Quite hiding like a lemur and get over here!"

The taller, older Icewing sister made her way out of the tunnel and she gave a nervous smile to her cousins. "Um, hey. I was going to warn you that Icicle was following you…it uh, didn't turn out that way." She said with a weak laugh which Snowfall glared at.

"You and I are not done with our discussion." She said, pointing at Crystal who shrugged her off. She then turned to her cousins. "So that's Crystal and Hailstorm not thinking I would take their leaving nicely and doing it in the dead of night, Winter thinking I hated him for being a failure when I had NO such thoughts EVER and Icicle thinking I'm a terrible Queen. Any other wonderful family thoughts you guys want to get out into the open while we are all here?"

Hailstorm ducked his head and muttered, "Well Mink thinks you're neat…"

"Wrong! Mink thinks I'm a jerk for taking away her new pet. I don't have patience to explain why a dragonbite viper is NOT a pet I want to have in our castle." She shook her head in annoyance and sighed. "My issues aside, despite what everyone seems to think, I have no intention of taking Icicle back into her cell. Partly because I don't think it is necessary and partly because it was replaced with an underground pool."

Winter looked up at Snowfall and gave a small smile. "So…she isn't in trouble?"

Icicle wanted to slap him from how stupidly he phrased it, as if this was just a dragonet accident and not one that could have ended terribly. Snowfall gave him a grim look as her tail swayed left and right. "I didn't say that." She took a breath and looked out at her cousins and sister. "Technically speaking, Icicle didn't hurt anyone that wasn't an Icewing-" The obvious implication made Icicle's stomach churn. "-so we don't have to get Glor-"

"Queen Glor-" Crystal was about to interrupt with an impression of Lynx but was shut down by her sister.

"GLORY involved, luckily." Snowfall said with satisfaction, not seeming to quite be over the recent prank Nightwing and Rainwing Queen pulled at their last Queen's meeting. "And since Sora wasn't hurt, Queen Moorhen doesn't have to know. If I remember correctly, no Skywings, Sandwings, or Seawings were involved so this all falls down to me. As usual." She looked at Icicle with a straight face. "As much as I'd love to ignore this, you still hurt my advisor and disobeyed me by flying off and leaving Sanctuary. What's worse? You were chasing down a dragon from another tribe and could have started a war between us and the Mudwings. Not to mention possibly making me have to deal with Glory if she or a Nightwing saw the Icewing that was supposed to be imprisoned. Actually, possibly making me have to talk with Glory should be reason enough to banish you to the outposts."

Winter stepped up and looked worriedly between Crystal and Snowfall. "Can't she just stay in Sanctuary? Dragons there don't have to worry about issues they've had with other tribes! I'm sure we could find her a place!"

Crystal looked to Snowfall who seemed to expect her sister to agree with Winter which made it surprising when she didn't. "Winter, you know the counsel won't accept her after this. Sora is a member of Sanctuary and they'll value that over Icicle who isn't part of it yet." Winter looked ready to argue but Crystal gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, I want her to stay as well but it's not likely. Snowfall has the legal authority here."

Hailstorm piped up, his wing movement causing Icicle to stir in annoyance. "What about the Talons of peace? Don't some of them have a place set up? She can stay there. At least until we get something worked out…" Icicle's annoyed grunt told him that she had no intention of staying there.

The Queen looked to Icicle with a cold stare. "Well? You've been silent so far. Considering this is about you, I expected some input. What do you think I should do?" She didn't sound annoyed when she addressed Icicle. She sounded curious, just as she did when they talked in the library.

Icicle's head drifted between whoever was talking. Each turn of her neck stung like a purple hornet. She felt nauseous and her lack of water was getting harder and harder to hide while her tongue kept trying to escape her jaw. She opened her mouth and let out her raspy, breaking voice. "I-I can go to the outposts…but I promise, if you leave me here, I won't leave…" She groaned as her legs trembled again. "I-I won't bother Queen Glory or anyone else. N-no one will know I'm here." She wanted that dark space to consume her once more, It was a lot easier then confronting her family.

"I would consider this place a step down from the outposts." Snowfall said, shifting her jaw as she looked out at the bubbling lava. "But I have no intention of banishing my family today. That is, as long as the dragon I've chosen to handle it decides so."

That didn't sit well with Icicle. Having your life in the claws of another was always terrible but she thought being here, it wouldn't feel that bad. But then Icicle realized who her cousin would have chosen and her heart sank. She seemed to be the only one who caught on judging by the confused looks from the others. "Um, sis? Who exactly did you pick?" Crystal asked, shifting from claw to claw. "You said you were the one with authority here."

Winter and Hailstorm looked to each other nervously. "The only dragon physically involved in this." Icicle didn't want to hear her name but she knew she would have to face her eventually. "We can get Icicle some food but then we are heading back so Lynx can decide what happens next. It's only fair that she has a say." She turned back to Icicle with a raised eyebrow. "Right?"

Icicle nodded weakly, not daring to say a word. The Queen of the Icewings signaled for them all to leave but it only took one step for Icicle to trip and fall into the ash, her body still aching with great pains. Hailstorm bent down to help her up and looked at their cousin. "Can we get her something to eat first? She's kind of been here for a while without food or water."

Snowfall groaned in frustration, her head looking up to the smokey sky. "Of course she did. Fine! Crystal and Hailstorm, go get her some food while Winter and I carry her out. The cold tunnel is way better than this place. Ugh, I'd rather we settle this now so I don't have to risk a Rainwing seeing me and bringing Glory here."

"I can decide now if you want."

All of the Icewings minus Icicle looked behind Snowfall, seeing a smaller, injured Icewing walking through the tunnel. The light voice was followed by deep silence as Hailstorm, Crystal, Winter, and Snowfall watched Lynx enter the island and stand by the Queen who looked beyond furious, though she was trying to hide it. "So, let me recap. Winter and Hailstorm followed Icicle, Crystal followed Hailstorm and Winter, I followed Crystal, and you followed me? Is that all or is Mink somewhere in the bushes of the Rainforest waiting to jump out and surprise us?"

Lynx rolled her eyes. "I'm the last of this very strange conga line. Now what was it I was deciding?" She rubbed her eyes as if she had just woken up.

"You SHOULD be in bed and waiting for us to return but no, you decided to disobey me, which makes you the third person to disobey me this week. Winter, Hailstorm, congratulations on being the least annoying in our family." She waited for applause that wouldn't come given the situation. "Regardless, I am half debating even letting you decide after this stupid stunt. What was going through your head exactly? "Oh, let me just wake up and ignore my injuries and follow my Queen who will probably be very mad at me! Flawless idea!" was that it? How close was I?" She asked tauntingly, not expecting an answer. "Ugh, we were deciding what to do with Icicle an-"

"You can still fly? I thought your wings were hurt." Crystal asked, peering at Lynx.

The advisor shook her head then winced as she did so. "My wings are surprisingly not hurt. My head is though, and I'm not sure if hearing Snowfall's shouting will help."

"EXCUSE me, but I wasn't finished speaking." Queen Snowfall said, ignoring what her advisor/friend said. "You are really testing my patience. You know that? I'm still open to execution being viable if I'm annoyed enough." Those words intimidated Icicle but Lynx took it as if she and Snowfall had this discussion before. The Queen of the Icewings waited until all six of them were silent to continue. "Well, seeing as this whole ordeal started because you came to me saying you went to go see Icicle and thought you could prove she wasn't a horrible monster that everyone thought she was, I figured it's only right that you decide whether your idea was a success or a complete failure."

Icicle almost collapsed right there. Her cousin's words made her try to remember the events of a few months ago, back when she was still haunted by her family's portrait. When nightmares about Scarlet were still prevalent. The former prisoner could only come to one conclusion. "Lynx lied."

Winter stepped over to Lynx, his tail laying flat on the floor while his claws sunk into the ash. His eyes seemed more hopeful than they were when he thought his sister's fate would be decided by Snowfall. "Lynx, you must know she's different! Right Hailstorm?"

His brother nodded and tried to smile at Icicle who was too busy staring at the ground, silently disagreeing with her twin. "Yeah, but it's not like she had a choice…you saw how terrible how parents treated Winter, anyone could have been driven to do what she did."

But Icicle disagreed. Winter was treated worse and he still turned into a hero. Hailstorm had two years of his life stolen and instead of resenting the world for it, he wanted to improve it. What did she do with her first chance of real freedom?

Snowfall waited for Lynx to say something but her gaze was stuck on Icicle who was desperately trying not to meet it. "Well, Icicle? Have you changed?"

She felt her heart pound against her chest as the void inside of her opened up, finally about to free her from feeling. But it didn't. All it did was make her feel worse. She closed her eyes and shook her head, making Hailstorm tense up as she did so. "No…" She remembered the terrified look Sora gave her, the frozen expression of fear as the Mudwing thought her life was about to end…then she remembered how it made her feel. "I haven't."

Even the wind seemed to stop so it could listen to Icicle's admission of guilt. The earth no longer shook and the dying island seemed to halt. Icicle felt like the light of all three moons were pointed at her as she spoke and when she fell silent, she felt her body stop completely like the wind had been kicked out of her. Snowfall turned back to Lynx who hadn't stopped staring blankly at Icicle. She expected her advisor to say something and the usually enjoyable and upbeat dragon's voice was empty as she spoke without any feeling behind it. "I'd like to talk to her alone, if that's ok." She almost whispered it and Snowfall nodded. She ordered Winter and Hailstorm to find some food without being spotted while she and Crystal got some water.

"When you two are done, just walk out of the tunnel. I'll check and yell at them to get back." Snowfall whispered to Lynx and once she left the blazing hot island, only two dragons were left to bear the heat. Now Icicle felt her heart sink as she was alone with the dragon she felt had been hurt by her the most.

I was wrong. There's one more part coming out.