"Oh, my dear Eliza! pray make haste and come into the dining-room, for there is such a sight to be seen! I will not tell you what it is. Make haste, and come down this moment."
"It is Miss De Bourgh and her companion," guessed Elizabeth.
"La! How did you know?" Maria said. "The old lady is Mrs. Jenkinson, who lives with them. The other is Miss De Bourgh. Only look at her. She is quite a little creature. Who would have thought she could be so thin and small!"
Miss De Bourgh would not come in and Elizabeth thought she looked rude, sickly and cross, just like in the book.
"Poor Mr. Darcy." For all his wealth and luxury, he was not lucky in love. If the options for Mrs. Darcy were Miss Bingley, his cousin, and herself, the gentleman might do better to stay a bachelor, she thought.
Elizabeth had waited for her visit in Hunsford somewhat fearfully but Mr. Collins and his parsonage in Hunsford had turned out to be much as expected. The house was modest but comfortable, and the area was pretty. He liked to quote sermons or Lady Catherine to begin the day, worked diligently in his lovely garden, and Charlotte seemed reasonably content.
"Is it not a wonderful day? Just look at the sun in the garden. We have been so blessed by the gracious attentions of my esteemed patroness, Lady Catherine De Bourgh," Mr. Collins said early one morning. "Her advice has helped my garden blossom exceedingly well."
"She was very good to us when she ensured that we have such fine weather today," Elizabeth said.
Elizabeth took a book with her when she went for a walk in the groves. She had avoided some social gatherings with an excuse and spent every free moment reading, as Mr. Bennet had given her more stories that he hoped she would find instructive.
"Here, you had better take my trunk instead of your own," her father had said. "There is a locked compartment. Keep the documents there. It would not do to let anyone else see them, lest they think they are all true."
"Are they so scandalous then?"
"It depends on your perspective," Mr. Bennet said. "If they were novels, you might not consider most of them scandalous."
"I have read worse?"
"I dare say you have," Mr. Bennet said. "However, if they were not novels… If they were, say, stories about real people, made public by the gossips…"
"I have understood your point," Elizabeth said. "I shall endeavour to keep them well hidden. I would not wish for the rumour mill to pair Mr. Darcy and me together maliciously."
Initially she had been reluctant to read the documents at all. It was rather disconcerting to see herself on the pages of countless stories, thrust in wildly different situations. Some scenarios felt very familiar, and even though those particular conversations had never happened she found herself thinking she might have said just that. In other tales, her life was described as very different from what she had been used to, and there were events that she would rather not even think about. "Good heavens! I would never do that!"
Mr. Bennet was right about one thing: all the accounts seemed to finish the same way, as if a relationship between Mr. Darcy and herself was the ultimate target, an inevitability, the desired result. There was always a kiss, or an engagement, perhaps a wedding. Some stories seemed to end a little abruptly, and it seemed a few of the last pages could be missing. Elizabeth skipped over some of the endings herself, as she could not bring herself to read all about her marital bliss with Mr. Darcy.
Before, it had never occurred to her to wonder what her marriage to Mr. Darcy might look like, and now it was a constant niggling thought.
"Sorry, Mr. Darcy, but you were wrong. Extensive reading does not improve the mind," she muttered quietly, laughing at herself. "Rather it makes one endlessly obsessed about absurdities."
A few of the narratives had a supernatural element, and while Elizabeth found them unrealistic she was also utterly engrossed by the tales of time loops. It seemed that if she refused his proposal in Hunsford there was a danger that either Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth would be stuck repeating the day until she changed her answer.
"I did not know how lucky I was," Elizabeth mused. "Just imagine if I had been stuck repeating the day until I accepted Mr. Collins!"
Lady Catherine was much as described in the first book that she had read. Elizabeth had been amused and annoyed by her nosy questioning when she read about her interrogation by her ladyship. When Elizabeth met the lady in person, some of her inquiries sounded very familiar and Elizabeth thought that they might easily have enacted the same scene from the book, had she wished it. But then she decided that she had already had all the possible amusement when reading about the conversation and had no wish for a repetition. Apart from the vicious confrontation described in the first book, her father had warned her that in some of the other narratives her ladyship was very vindictive and caused much mischief. Elizabeth surmised that discretion was the better part of valour. She did not want the lady's advice or aggression, so it was best to avoid her attention as much as possible.
So she responded to Lady Catherine's queries in polite nothings and prodded her to elaborate on her own opinions, whenever possible. Lady Catherine declared Elizabeth and Maria to be prettily behaved young ladies and promised to think about suitable young gentlemen to introduce them to.
"Thank you, your ladyship," Elizabeth said. "It is very kind of you but it is not necessary."
"Nonsense, of course it is necessary," Lady Catherine said. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single young woman in possession of no suitors must be in want of matchmaking."
A dark chuckle escaped Elizabeth. If her father was right Lady Catherine might find her match closer than she thought. What with Lady Catherine's kind help and the mischievous fairies who got single people stuck in time loops, Elizabeth would be lucky to escape Kent unattached.
"We are expecting my nephews shortly," said Lady Catherine. "Perhaps they have friends who would do. They must know some widowers, or fourth sons."
The implication being that Elizabeth and Maria would not do for her ladyship's nephews, the threat of matchmaking did not seem very acute after all. Surely Lady Catherine's nephews would not summon their friends here just to check out some poor girls, as there must be enough of those in London, or wherever they resided. But Elizabeth thanked Lady Catherine dutifully. Privately she thought that Mr. Darcy had some nerve disdaining her uncles and aunts when his own kinswoman behaved like this. If she married him he would bring his share of ridiculous relations into the mix.
When she caught herself thinking along these lines she was very annoyed with herself. How on earth had her absurd life come to this? How had thoughts of Mr. Darcy begun to dominate every waking hour? Surely it was a most egregious waste of time to think of him in terms of marriage or lack thereof. Even if he had nursed some regard for her earlier he must have been swiftly cured of it, once Mr. Bennet told him crazy tales about parallel lives and forecasts of tangled destinies. Nobody wanted to marry into a family of lunatics.
Mr. Darcy might even decide not to come at all, now that he knew that Elizabeth would be here, and there was a good chance that she would never see him again.
But she was wrong about that. Far from cancelling their visit, Lady Catherine's nephews travelled to Kent some days before they were expected. They made it to the parsonage as soon as they had arrived, even before settling in at Rosings, and they had brought a friend.
"May I introduce my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam," Mr. Darcy said. "He is the second son of my uncle, the earl of Matlock. And this is Captain Norman, Colonel Fitzwilliam's trusted comrade in arms."
"Those who fight together are stuck together," Colonel Fitzwilliam said. "My friend may look fierce but there is no one I would trust more."
Captain Norman had a scarred face that gave him the severe appearance of a street fighter but he spoke like a gentleman when he greeted them all.
"Captain Norman and his brothers were our closest playmates at Matlock," Colonel Fitzwilliam said. "Many a villain got beheaded."
"How many brothers have you got?" Mrs. Collins asked.
"Three elder ones and two that are younger," Captain Norman said. "And two sisters."
"How wonderful," Mr. Collins said. "After all, Lady Catherine told us specifically that she approves of fourth sons."
"I am glad to hear," said Captain Norman, "although there is very little I could do to change my situation, should she find it distasteful."
"Are you a widower?" Mr. Collins asked.
"No, I have never been married," Captain Norman replied.
He appeared somewhat confused by the conversational directions that Mr. Collins took.
But if he was to stay, it was best to get accustomed to her cousin's discourse straight away, Elizabeth thought. He would not get any better. Mr. Bennet had told her that Mr. Collins was quite helpful in one of the accounts that she had still to read; in others he was something of an antagonist. Many versions of him were meddlesome and annoying. But never in the history of Mr. Collinses had he been quiet and sensible.
"Captain Norman is in Kent to help us with a project," Mr. Darcy said.
"A project?" Elizabeth asked.
"A project," Mr. Darcy confirmed. He seemed stern, uneasy and uncommunicative, so he was still very much like himself. Elizabeth was relieved because she had recently read a story in which a more lighthearted, dimpled version of Mr. Darcy acting out of character had been quite formidable, a veritable charmer, and a man like that could have been a true danger to a girl's heart. But if this Mr. Darcy who was hovering near the windows had dimples, no one could tell, and a girl's heart would not be inconvenienced.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was a man of easy address and good manners. Mr. Collins gave him a degree of deference that he might have found a little excessive, but the Colonel seemed to take it in stride. He adopted an air of camaraderie and allowed Mr. Collins to inquire after the wellbeing of his father, the earl, at least three times.
"My father, the earl, was in excellent health when I saw him last," the Colonel said. "My mother, the countess, makes him eat a very wholesome fare, and he is not overly fond of idleness so I dare say my father, the earl, is in finer fettle than most men of his age."
"We are overjoyed to hear that," said Mr. Collins. "Are we not, Mrs. Collins?"
Mrs. Collins confirmed that the fitness of the Matlock patriarch was to be considered good news in the Collins household.
Mr. Collins went on to compliment the Matlock estate and the manor that he had never seen. "But knowing the earl's proximity to his sister, Lady Catherine De Bourgh and the example of Rosings, I am convinced of his good taste and sense of style in everything."
"I thank you on his behalf," the Colonel said glibly. "In truth, he has had very little to do with the building process or the decoration choices but like you, I have complete faith that he could refurbish it to look like a replica of Rosings any time he wanted to."
Mr. Collins was launched into a soliloquy about the virtues of Rosings. He liked ostentatious gilding, heavy brocade, and dark, polished wood with intricate carvings, but if Rosings boasted of something light and airy it would also be in fashion. "The interiors are a perfect match to the inhabitants, the full splendour of her ladyship and the delicate gentility of her daughter, the most estimable Miss De Bourgh."
"Indeed," said the Colonel. "Speaking of my cousin's delicate gentility, you must understand that she has not been much in company with battle hardened veterans."
"No, of course not," Mr. Collins said.
"Lady Catherine has understandably wished to shelter my cousin from the harsh realities of the war," the Colonel said.
"In her great wisdom and loving maternal care," Mr. Collins said.
"My aunt would not wish Anne to be scared and upset," Mr. Darcy said.
"No, of course not," Mr. Collins said.
"And I am rather scarred," Captain Norman said.
"Would you know of alternative accommodations near Hunsford? Perhaps an inn, or a respectable widow renting out rooms?" the Colonel asked. "My father, the earl, could vouch for Captain Norman's character as he has been known to our family since he was a child."
"A friend of the earl!" Mr. Collins exclaimed. "No, indeed, the inn would not do for a friend of the earl. And the widow Higgins is respectable but that does not mean that her house is up to your standards."
"I have slept in tents, huts and bunkers," said Captain Norman. "My standards are not very exacting."
"Your unassuming modesty does not go unnoted, I assure you," Mr. Collins said. "But what would Lady Catherine say if we allowed the earl's friend stay at the inn when we have a perfectly good guest room here in the parsonage?"
Mrs. Collins confirmed that the guest room that Sir William had stayed in was available and she hoped it would be adequate.
Captain Norman smiled gratefully while Mr. Collins praised his wife's hospitality, but Elizabeth thought that the Colonel's expression was more like a triumphant smirk. Had he dropped hints in the hopes of just such a resolution? But why?
When Captain Norman went outside to fetch his trunk from the carriage, and Charlotte left to give her maid instructions about the guest room, Mr. Collins directed his attention at Mr. Darcy.
"When we last saw each other in Meryton, I was not yet married."
"My felicitations for both you and Mrs. Collins."
"There is much to be said about the benefits of the married state," said Mr. Collins. "Your aunt graciously recommended that I should find myself a wife, and I am convinced that of all her magnificent advice that was the most profound piece of wisdom."
"To our knowledge, our aunt did not invent marriage and does not sell marriage licences," the Colonel said. "But she has always had a keen interest in the business of marrying people off regardless."
"And I am the beneficiary," said Mr. Collins. "As well as my wife."
"We are all happy for you, I am sure," Mr. Darcy said.
"When might we wish you equally happy?" Mr. Collins asked.
"I have no objections if you want to wish me happy every day," Mr. Darcy said. "However, if you are asking when my wedding will be, I regret that it is not solely up to me. Customarily the process involves a lady who might have her own opinions about the matter."
"I am sure that the jewel that you have set your sights upon could not object," Mr. Collins said. "And her mother could only rejoice in your choice of a wife."
"That is my hope too," said Mr. Darcy. "But at this point it is in no way certain."
Elizabeth caught his eye, but she could not read his looks.
"Oh, there could be no doubt!" Mr. Collins had more things to say about Lady Catherine's benevolence, Miss De Bourgh's beauty, and the splendour of Rosings. "The parks are so carefully designed and well tended, and Lady Catherine is so particular in directing the gardeners."
"Miss Bennet," Mr. Darcy said. "Have you been able to enjoy the numerous walking trails around these particularly directed lawns and rosariums?"
"Indeed, there are many lovely paths here."
"Do you know the grove by the small pond, east of the folly?"
She affirmed this.
"Lady Catherine's folly is an amazing creation," the Colonel said.
"It is well worth seeing," Mr. Darcy said, looking straight at Elizabeth.
"Cousin Elizabeth does a lot of traipsing about, I am sure she has already seen everything," Mr. Collins said. "One such as you might think it is a bit strange, but having seen Hertfordshire, you must realize that it is a rare treat for my cousin to witness such magnificence that is your aunt's estate."
"There is a lot to admire in Hertfordshire as well," Mr. Darcy said.
He was still looking at Elizabeth.
Several of the stories had made a point that Mr. Darcy was staring at Elizabeth a lot, and seeing his serious expression just then, she had to grudgingly admit the possibility that his stares had not all been in disapproval.
"I think Lady Catherine would be able to suggest several improvements in Hertfordshire," Mr. Collins said.
"Indeed," the Colonel said. "Our aunt would be able to suggest several improvements in the manner that the fish learn to swim in the water and the way the sun rises from the east."
"Oh no," said Mr. Collins. "I am sure the sun rises the way it was meant to rise, and the fish are somewhat beneath her Ladyship's notice."
"The dawn is a great time," announced Mr. Darcy. He was still looking at her. "A great time to see the sunrise."
"In fact, it is usually the best time to see the sunrise," Elizabeth said.
She thought that Mr. Darcy nodded, almost imperceptibly. It was good to find something they could agree upon.
"Indeed," Mr. Collins said. "Lady Catherine approves of early risers."