How do I look?
He immediately missed the warmth of Anne's body once he tossed back the duvet and the cold February air hit him.
Forcing himself out of bed, he walked over to their discarded nightclothes on the floor, smiling as he recalled how they had kept each other warm last night. Picking up Anne's chemise, he handed it to her, and while she started to pull it over her head, he stepped into his braies.
Straightening as he began to tie the laces of his waistband, he stole a glance over at her. The bottom of her chemise had fallen past her breasts, but was now bunched up atop her belly, and he couldn't take his eyes off the swell of her stomach. It seemed as if now that the whole country knew about the baby, Anne's body had come to accept in the weeks that followed that it didn't have to try and hide the evidence anymore, and, well, there was no other way to describe it, her belly had simply popped out.
"What?"
Aramis blinked and tore his eyes away from her stomach as she drew her chemise over it. "You're pregnant," he blurted out, knowing right away how stupid the statement sounded.
Anne arched an eyebrow.
"I mean really pregnant," he said, as if that would make things clearer.
"Am I?" Anne responded, feigning surprise as she looked down at herself. "I hadn't noticed."
He gave up tying the knot on his braies and sat on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on her stomach. "I mean it in the best way possible."
"I'm afraid you're losing your touch."
He chuckled softly and let his gaze drift back down as he stroked his thumb back and forth.
"Here," said Anne, and moved his hand over, pressing it more firmly against her stomach. "Can you feel him kicking?"
He stilled and waited, but felt nothing. "No," he answered, shaking his head.
"It's still early," she reasoned as he took his hand away. "Be thankful on my behalf that he's not bruising my insides yet." Reaching over, she rubbed a hand along his forearm. "I do think he can hear your voice though, or perhaps he just senses that you're near."
"You think so?"
"I thought his morning exercise was over but then you started talking."
He scooted back so that he could lean his face closer to her belly. "Is that true, little one? Can you hear me making a fool of myself?"
Anne chuckled warmly. "I'm not sure you want to know if he has an answer to that."
Smiling, he laid a kiss on her belly and then stood up. Finally finishing the knot on his braies, he then grabbed his shirt off the floor and walked over to the window. "It's still snowing," he noted before pulling the shirt over his flurries had started late last night, and had covered the grounds in a sparkling layer of snow.
"Louis will be excited," Anne remarked, getting out of bed and coming to stand next to him. "You should go out and play with him."
"He'd like that?"
"He'd love it," she answered. "I'm certainly in no condition to go out there and gallivant around; I am, as you so eloquently put it, dear husband, really pregnant."
With a light-hearted groan, he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her. After pressing a kiss to her hair, he rested his chin on her shoulder and continued to watch the snow fall.
MMMMMMMMMM
When her maids came in Anne asked that a large mirror be brought to her room. Once one had arrived, she then asked them to wait outside and proceeded to remove her chemise and examine her figure in the reflection.
Aramis had been right; her gently sloping bump had become more rounded and protruding, more defined, and just by looking at her, one could more easily imagine there being a little baby curled up beneath her skin.
She marveled at the sight of herself, continually amazed to be with child once more, to have been granted another miracle. As grateful and overjoyed she had been to be able to finally hold Louis once he was born and look upon his precious face, there were times when she missed carrying him in her belly, missed always having him with her and that connection shared only by the two of them.
As she caressed her belly, she knew this would be the last time she would get to experience being pregnant. She and Aramis were pushing their luck with this one, and wouldn't be able to hide their relationship if they were to conceive once more.
For now though, it was safe for her to revel in this blessing, in this achievement. This is ultimately what she had been raised to be, a mother. There had always been the likely possibility that the marriage alliance between France and Spain would prove to be just a temporary salve. Her father had quickly given up in sending her instructions and suggestions in his letters on how she could influence her husband's policies, and instead turned his attention to her having children. Her womb was where true power and stability lied, the Cardinal's attempt to have her killed proved that, and after having been a failure for so long, she savored being able to prove them all wrong. Not only that, but she had so longed for a family of her own. Her father had realized that that was what she needed in her new home; children would bring her joy, love, distraction, and security.
Thanks to Aramis, she had that. Thanks to him, she'd gained a bigger, more loving family than she could have imagined. A husband who truly loved her. A husband who wanted to be near her, who listened to what she had to say, who gave her choices, who wanted to make her happy.
Even during the times she had been with child and Louis had been the most affectionate and attentive to her, there was still a distance between them, and after she lost her first son, caution. And when she remembered how he would tell her she looked radiant, it felt almost hollow and perfunctory compared to when Aramis said such things to her now. The way Aramis looked at her, how he touched her, how he talked about the baby, how he talked to the baby; this was their child. With Louis, the children she bore were to be his.
MMMMMMMMMM
Once it was around the time that Anne and Louis unusually finished their breakfast together, Aramis got into his leathers and prepared to go out into the snow. Grabbing his cloak and gloves, he was about to set off from his rooms when he stopped and turned back around, deciding to go all out and make this outing a real musketeers mission.
He fetched his pauldron and fastened it to his shoulder, enjoying the familiar weight of it along with the knowledge that his son admired it and what it stood for so much that he had wanted one for himself. And Louis wore his with pride.
Tugging at the bottom of his doublet, he made sure everything was in good shape before running a hand through his hair and placing his hat on his head.
As he made his way to the room where Anne and Louis took their breakfast, he thought about what it would have been like if he had been able to just go straight from Anne's room into Louis' to wake his son up instead of having to sneak around and return to another part of the palace to sit around and wait. As he approached his destination, he smiled softly as he imagined tickling Louis awake, throwing him over his shoulder, and taking him over to the window to show him the snow.
With a nod to the guard standing outside the door, he strode into the room. "Your Majesties." He took off his hat and held it over his heart as he bowed before them. With a glance at the table he was glad to see a nearly empty plate before Louis. "I'm sorry to intrude but if I could have a word?" he asked, looking at Anne, and when she nodded her approval, he went over and made a show of whispering in her ear. They had already discussed his taking Louis outside, but of course Louis, and anyone else for that matter, couldn't know that.
"That sounds like a very important mission, Aramis," Anne said loudly as he straightened. "You should make all haste to see it carried out."
"Yes, Majesty." He gave a quick bow of this head and then turned to Louis. "Sire," he breathed, and got down on one knee before him. "Captain d'Artagnan has a mission for two of his best musketeers."
MMMMMMMMMM
Once it stopped snowing and she received word that the steps outside had been cleared, Anne ventured out to the gardens to see how Aramis and Louis were faring.
She followed the sweet sound of Louis' peeling laughter, and soon caught sight of Aramis dodging snowballs on the center path. As she approached she spotted Louis' curls flying around on the other side of one of the shorter hedges that they were using as a barrier between them as well as a place to gather ammunition if they wanted to double up on their attack as she saw Aramis do, with Louis following suit as Aramis retreated.
Aramis ducked and pivoted away from the first snowball, but the next one Louis threw was low, and "caught" Aramis on the ankle, and he proceeded to cry out dramatically and drag his leg along as he further retreated. He caught sight of her as he did, and shot her a quick grin before scooping up a handful of snow and returning fire, narrowly missing Louis.
Hobbling over to her, Aramis held the ends of his cloak out. "Get behind me, Majesty, I will shield you!"
"Mama!" Louis shouted upon realizing she was there. Coming around the hedges, he ran up to her, his cheeks pink and his smile wide. "I showed Aramis how to make snowmen! Look!" Grabbing a hold of her hand, he pulled her over to a clearing where a group of snowmen stood. Coming to a stop in front of the five mounds, Louis pointed to the first one. Along with the customary sticks for arms, carrot for a nose, and pebbles to make up the rest of the face, it wore a sash as well as a hat, both missing from Aramis' person, she confirmed with a glance. "This one's Aramis," he said, and then pointed out the one meant to be her, wearing a necklace made out of pebbles, and a smaller snowman also wearing a sash that was meant to be Louis. "This one is Papa," Louis declared, bringing her before the biggest snowman of the lot.
"And this one?" she asked, pointing to a tiny snowman, made up of just two spheres rather than three.
"That's the baby," Louis informed her.
Holding back the tears that suddenly formed behind her eyes, she looked over to Aramis, suspecting that adding the littlest member of their family was his idea, and was met with such a warm, gentle smile she thought she might melt along with the snow.
MMMMMMMMMM
He drank in the sight before him, of Louis showing Anne their family. Of course the boy didn't fully understand the implications of having Aramis dress one up as himself, but it was something that he would treasure long after the snow had melted.
Looking back down at their son, Anne released Louis' hand. "They're very impressive, darling," she said, and gave Louis' shoulder a rub. "You taught Aramis well. Now why don't you take a break and go inside to warm up a bit." While Louis ran ahead, she stepped in front of him. "You're right, I am looking more and more like my snowball counterpart," she said in a low voice, and ran a hand over her protruding belly.
He grinned. "But your nose is much more dainty," he replied, and fought the urge to tap a finger to that dainty nose of hers.
Anne laughed, and while she reached up to dab at the corner of one of her watery eyes, he watched Louis turn the corner in front of the stairs leading into the palace. A second later a cloaked figure appeared from the side running after the boy, arms outstretched, and face obscured by a hat and scarf. Time seemed to stop as he blinked and found himself in a snowy forest. He blinked again and saw a disguised Marsac on a mission for vengeance. Another blink of his eyes brought him back to the masked person rushing towards his son.
Aramis started running.
He saw Louis look to the side before coming to an abrupt stop, and watched as the cloaked figure came right up to him, arms still outstretched.
"No!" he yelled, and both Louis and the cloaked figure turned their heads towards him, the person's hand's inches away from Louis.
Reaching them, he pushed the cloaked figure to the ground. "Get away from him!"
The person cried out, and while laid out on the ground, raised trembling hands in surrender. "F-forgive me, Minister," said the man. His hat had fallen off when he fell, and revealed a balding head with short-cropped rusty coloured hair on the sides. "I didn't want His Majesty to get hurt," he proclaimed in a shaking voice.
"Aramis!" came Anne's voice behind him, and he held his arm out for her to stay behind him. "Aramis what are you doing?!"
"Majesty, please be careful of the ice!"
Narrowing his eyes, Aramis looked to where the man was pointing. The ground underneath the stairs and near the bottom of the steps shone where the light was beginning to hit it, and his body sagged as he realized why the man had been trying to get to Louis.
"Aramis, this is Martin, one of the groundskeepers," Anne told him as the man pulled the scarf down from his face. There was a hint of sternness in her voice, but when he glanced over at her, he could see the concern in her eyes.
He looked back at the man, his eyes traveling down to the opening of the man's cloak and settling on the gold sash around his waist that signified his position as someone who worked at the palace.
"I'm so sorry," he said, and quickly took Martin's hand to help him to his feet. "I saw a masked person running towards the King...I didn't realize."
"Are you all right, Martin?" asked Anne.
"Yes, Majesty. Oh, thank you, Sire," he said, accepting his hat from Louis with a bow of his head. "I'd noticed that while the snow had been cleared, there was some ice near the steps, and brought some ashes to spread on the ground to melt it," Martin explained, gesturing to a couple of buckets sitting further down the path, "but when I saw His Majesty running towards here, I dropped what I was doing and ran to stop him before he hurt himself."
"Of course," said Aramis. "Let me help you finish." Martin started to protest, but he ignored him and went to retrieve the buckets. As he brought them over, Anne met his eyes briefly, silently asking if everything was settled now. Once he nodded, she gave Martin the honour of taking her hand and leading her to the bottom steps of the right-hand staircase that he had already treated, and followed Louis back into the palace.
MMMMMMMMMM
Aramis' office was empty when Anne managed to sneak into it a little while later, but when she pushed back the heavy curtain at the doorway to his bedroom, she found him lying on top of the bed. He had taken off his leather doublet and his boots, and had a hand behind his head as he stared up the canopy above.
His eyes flickered down to her when she took a step in, but then he returned his gaze back to the canopy, and she heard him take a deep breath as she let the curtain fall back behind her.
"I sent someone to bring your things in," she informed him, and walking into the room, sat on the side of his bed. "Your sash will be laundered and your hat will be freshened up too."
He turned onto his side to face her, his expression mournful. "Is Louis all right? I didn't frighten him, did I?"
"He's fine," she assured him. "And I explained that it was just a misunderstanding." Aramis sighed and gave a nod of his head as he absently rubbed his thumb against his fingers. Something was still troubling him, and it was in turn troubling her. "You frightened me though," she softly admitted. "Aramis, before you ran off, you had a look on your face...you looked...I don't know, lost, like you were somewhere else."
He shook his head, his eyes focused on some spot on the floor. "I just thought I was seeing things, that's all."
"Aramis, I've never seen you hesitate like that." She'd always known him to run into danger without a second thought, without even a care for his own safety. "And I don't understand why you're so cut up about it; you made an honest mistake."
She watched his jaw tense, and could see that he was struggling with whatever was bothering him, but he gave no response. "Aramis…" Gingerly, she laid her hand on his arm, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the contact, but he did not pull away. "Can I stay and lay with you?"
Looking up at her, he nodded. "I'd like that."
Getting up, she went around to the other side of the bed, and climbing onto it, managed to arrange herself behind him, with her belly pressed against his back. "You don't have to tell me anything right now," she said, stroking her thumb against his arm, "but please don't shut me out. Not you too." She heard his intake of breath, but she didn't press him any further, she just laid there and held him.
"You really can't feel that, can you?" she asked after a short while.
She thought he might have fallen asleep, or that he still wasn't ready to talk yet, but her heart lifted when he finally replied: "Feel what?"
She squeezed his arm. "The baby, kicking against your back. He wants his Papa to know that he's here and that he loves him."
Slowly, he turned over to face her. "Say that again."
"He wants his Papa to know that he loves him."
Closing his eyes, he breathed in and out, and she brushed a lock of his hair away from his face. "I wish, more than anything, Aramis, that our children could call you Papa."
After a few seconds and another deep breath, he opened his eyes, and reached his hand out towards her belly. "The massacre at Savoy," he said, eyes focused on his fingers as they started tracing the patterns on her bodice. "It happened more than eleven years ago now, what do you know of it?"
She frowned as she thought back, unsure of how the event was connected to Aramis' current state. "Just that a small troop of musketeers had been killed in some sort of skirmish near the border." They hadn't told her much of what happened at the time; she was still grieving the loss of her son, and Louis and the Cardinal thought her too fragile to be told the details of a massacre.
"Murdered while they slept," Aramis said bitterly. "Offered up by the Cardinal as sacrificial lambs." He let out a shuddering breath. "Their blood was so bright against the snow."
A small gasp escaped her. He had been there. She didn't know how, she thought the whole troop had been killed, but it must be why he reacted as he did.
"The attackers had been masked, and we were made to believe they were Spanish, but they were the Duke's men. The Cardinal had let him believe that we had come to assassinate him, all so that his Chancellor could be kidnapped before he revealed that the Duchess was passing us information."
"Christine was a spy?"
Aramis nodded. "Our location had been betrayed by our own people, and what Longueville did to you and Porthos, it...stirred up those memories. Then today, being out in the snow and seeing a masked man going after Louis..."
"The King, did he know about all this? About the Duchess being a spy and then the Cardinal's plan?"
Aramis hesitated, but nodded. "He needed to protect his sister, even if it cost him his own soldiers," he answered, and her heart broke for the men whose lives were lost, for Aramis and the pain he still suffered from it.
"I'm so sorry, my love," she said, cupping his cheek. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." She went back through her memories. "The attack, didn't it happen around Easter?"
"Good Friday," he confirmed.
"We could do something for the anniversary, if you'd like, to honour your friends' sacrifice."
He nodded against her hand before taking it and pressing a kiss to her palm. He held her hand against his chest then, and she caught the brief tug at the corner of his lips. "Good Friday is also when God brought us together, at the Châtelet."
"Quite literally," she replied, and the tension in her chest eased as a smile tugged even more at his lips and the light returned to his eyes. "God tends to do that, though, doesn't He?" she mused. "Gives us light to fend off the darkness with."
Her gaze lowered as she thought of her own past. "Back in Spain, we'd have such parties, celebrating Christmas and my mother's birthday, but then she passed and I soon moved to France, and when Christmas came around I'd miss my family more than ever." She looked up into his eyes. "But then our son came along, and his quickening was announced on Christmas-"
"-and then so was this one," he added, spreading his hand out on her stomach as he smiled softly.
She mirrored his smile, and covered his hand with hers. "And with them we'll make new memories, happy memories."