A Glimpse of Warmth

Kawashima laughed a little at our bewildered faces and filled us in a little, all while hugging the little boy. She had been married but her husband passed away last year. And though she didn't explain why, the boy - her son Yuta - had been sent to live with her husband's parents after that, so they'd been living apart. Yuta had come all the way from Yamanashi - prefectures away just to see her on his day off from school.

However, Kawashima had that conference to go to, which she apparently wasn't allowed to miss, so somehow it fell upon Yankumi to take care of Yuta for a night while she was gone.

Yankumi pulled Sawada and I aside.

"Can you guys come over too, so you know…things won't get out of hand?" she begged us. "I'm not confident I can hide the things about my home and family from Yuta on my own."

"Sure, I guess," Sawada said before I could say anything. They both turned to look at me.

"...Let me make a phone call first," I said, and Yankumi nodded vigorously. I guess she was that desperate for help.

"Wait, but if you need me to call your grandparents, or if you'd like to stay over just for tonight, I can arrange that!" she said, suddenly remembering my supposed home situation.

I shook my head. "It's fine. I'll do it myself."

Sawada gave me a look but I ignored it and headed for the door.

I stepped outside and called Shun. I wondered what he would say, since that whole exchange in the morning about coming home safe.

Luckily Shun agreed, especially after said I'd explain everything to him at home (except about Yankumi's background of course).

I would've never thought that you'd be helping a teacher," Shun remarked.

"Me either," I said with a small laugh. We both knew I had disliked and avoided my former teachers as much as I could.

"Take care coming home?"

There it was again. Take care…

"...I'll text when I'm leaving her place," I promised.

"Okay," he agreed, and we hung up.

I walked back in, only to see Yankumi and Sawada still waiting.

"I got permission," I said and Yankumi visibly sighed in relief.

I didn't know what I could do to help in particular, but since Kawashima had always taken care of me, I felt like I owed her one as well.

So Sawada and I ended up at Yankumi's once more. I still felt nervous walking in, but definitely less so than before. Something about the surprising warmth in the house, both from the house itself and the people, was still a bit jarring but not unpleasant.

Yuta was a sweet, good-natured, and observant little kid. While Sawada and I sat with Yuta as he ate a snack, Yankumi warned the members of her house not to act like they usually did so they wouldn't blow her cover.

When Yankumi instructed them to go play with Yuta and went to take a phonecall, they brought out Mahjong tiles. Sawada and I glanced at each other. Was this okay?

Yankumi came flying when she heard the sound of the tiles being mixed on the table.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Yankumi shouted at them.

"But we thought it'd be good kanji character practice," Wakamatsu protested.

"It won't!" Yankumi retorted.

"How about playing cards?" Sawada suggested. Yankumi nodded at his suggestion.

"How about these?" Testu asked, whipping out traditional Hanafuda cards.

"Totally different!" Yankumi snapped back.

"How about singing?" Minoru suggested, and for once, even Yankumi looked enthused at his suggestion. He went to retrieve an old tape recorder and pushed play. With microphone in hand, he began to bellow out an old traditional enka song. Yuta, not knowing any better, looked impressed and began to clap.

Yankumi looked distressed. "Sawada, Kana, make it stop," she pleaded.

"Impossible," Sawada retorted. I didn't know whether to laugh or groan at this turn of events.

Just at that moment, Minoru took his singing to a whole new level with exaggerated hand movements and vibrato in his voice. The three of us winced, even though Yuta continued to clap. It would be a long afternoon.

We had managed to get by without Yuta becoming extremely bored, but some of the activities the men came up with continued to be questionable in terms of whether it was appropriate for a 7 year old, and if it was too yakuza-influenced.

Sawada's quiz game suggestion turned out quite well because the men had a lot of knowledge in some areas, but when it came to academics or riddles, not all of them could keep up so they seemed to be learning alongside Yuta. Some even stumped Yankumi and she got super into it. I didn't attempt to answer, but Sawada and I kept grinning at some of the attempts.

Afterwards, I suggested pictionary - the drawing game - which was one of the few indoor games I remembered enjoying in elementary school. Thanks to some of the members who had questionable drawing skills, there was never a dull moment.

Finally, it was dinnertime.

"Itadakimasu!" we all said before beginning to eat. The main course was fish.

"Eat up," Yankumi's grandfather said to Yuta, who looked displeased.

"I don't like fish," he said.

Tetsu jumped up. "Don't be picky!" he shouted.

"Tetsu-san," Sawada said firmly.

"Sorry," he replied meekly and sat down.

Yuta took a bite and made a face.

"It's not tasty," he complained.

"What was that?!" Minoru shouted, standing up.

"Minoru-san," I said, and he bowed in apology, sitting back down. Sawada shot me a smirk. This was way too funny.

"I don't want it," Yuta said, getting up.

"SIT BACK DOWN!" Yankumi shouted. "You are to eat what you are served and appreciate it!"

"Yankumi," Sawada and I said simultaneously. It seemed to jerk her out of her anger.

"Yuta-kun, let's sit and eat, okay?" she said sweetly, her voice completely changing. I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"Okay," Yuta agreed and sat down. He ate some more fish. "This is good," he said and continued to eat. I had a feeling his first bite had been a bitter part of the fish skin and remembered how I'd also hated it when I was younger.

"Good boy," Yankumi said, ruffling his hair.

Later, Yuta, Tetsu, and Minoru fell asleep in the main room, exhausted from play wrestling.

"Sleeping in a place like this," Yankumi murmured, putting a blanket on top of them. "Kids are so hard to take care of."

"As I recall, you were a lot harder to manage when you came here 16 years ago," her grandfather said. "Spoiled and stubborn…"

"Grandpa, don't say that in front of Sawada and Kana!" she protested.

"Why not?" Sawada said, and we grinned. Yankumi must have been a one-of-a-kind kid.

"The clan was in chaos trying to meet this child's needs," her grandfather laughed. "But at the same time, this household became full of laughter since she arrived. Kumiko, you taught me that the more you spend time dealing with something, the more happiness you earn in the end. Well, I'm not sure if you were happy about it, to be fair."

Yankumi ducked her head in embarrassment and I saw Sawada smile. It was rare to see Yankumi like this, and it felt like we were getting a bigger glimpse into her private life.

While Sawada finished up his shogi game with Yankumi's grandpa, Yankumi and I sat on the engawa deck leading out to the backyard. We sat sipping our tea.

"I know my grandpa is really happy to have you, Sawada and Yuta here," Yankumi said. I looked at her in surprise. "I think it assures him that he did the right thing taking me in, now that he can see me taking care of others too."

"...It's a little surprising, but…it's kind of nice here…the atmosphere and everything…" I said.

She beamed. "My grandpa would be so happy to hear that. And I am too. I really wish for all of my students to experience this kind of warmth, both now and in their future, no matter how unconventional it may look. And that includes you, Kana. Thanks for coming today to help me. It really means a lot to me."

I shook my head, looking down at my tea. I was still a little unsure how to react when she would so directly share her feelings with us despite months of being her student.

She leaned closer to me to meet my eyes. "Are you embarrassed, Kana?" she teased.

I was surprised at her sudden closeness and began to pull away when her smile dropped.

"Eh, Kana, is that a cut on your face?" she suddenly said, reaching her hand out to touch my cheek. I jerked away from her at the sudden touch, dropping my cup and spilling the rest of my tea in the process.

We both sprang to our feet, Yankumi exclaiming loudly asking if I was okay and me apologizing. Luckily the cup hadn't broken, and Yankumi grabbed a rag from nearby which soaked up the spill immediately.

There was a part of me that felt like I was about to tell Yankumi what had happened, a part of me that wanted to even. I looked around, the house reminding me exactly where I was, who Yankumi's family was, and the words died in my throat. While they probably wouldn't judge me, it would be way too much trouble if my world and hers mixed.

Instead, I apologized again, and knew it was time to leave.

"I'm sorry, I have to go home now," I said, turning my back to Yankumi. I bowed to Yankumi's grandfather, who looked concerned at my sudden move to leave, but he gently said, "Please come back anytime. We'd be happy to have you."

Sawada moved to stand up.

"It's fine. You should stay," I said, turning to leave before he could respond. I pulled on my shoes at the entrance just as Yankumi came to see me off.

"You really don't want to stay the night? It's no problem."

"It's okay," I said. "My…cousin…is waiting at home for me anyway."

"Tell them I said hello and sorry for keeping you late."

I nodded.

As I turned to go out, I heard Sawada walking towards us. I didn't wait for him and walked out the door, but I heard Yankumi ask him to take care and to walk me home. It made me walk a little bit faster even though I knew I could never outrun Sawada anyway, not in my current state.

Sawada caught up to me, but didn't say a word. We just walked quietly until we reached where we would part ways.

I turned to say bye, but Sawada opened his mouth first.

"Uchi…told us what happened…"

I looked at him alarmed. "What do you mean?"

"That…you two aren't dating."

I stared at him, not sure what he was talking about, until I realized that it wasn't about my injury, but about me rejecting Uchi. Some of the slightly off behaviors I had noticed from Kuma, Noda, and Minami suddenly made a lot of sense to me.

"...oh…"

I didn't know what to say, and I looked at Sawada, not sure where he was going with this. But he stood there looking at me, as if waiting for me to say something first.

"...sorry. I know you told me not to break his heart…"

"No, that's not it…," he said immediately and then sighed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, or feel pressured in any way…He told us he told you how he felt but you turned him down, and then asked us not to act weird around you guys because he didn't want you to feel awkward."

I looked down at my feet. Uchi as always amazed me with how considerate he was.

"He's such a good guy," I said softly.

"Yeah…so it's fine if you act the way you always have been," Sawada said. "...You've got a lot else going on too it seems…Uchi didn't tell me about that part."

I looked up at him. Was this his way of reassuring me? And as always, he wasn't going to push me to talk.

Finally, I just nodded. "Okay."

"See you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow."

As we both went our separate ways, I said a silent thank you to Uchi. As always, he was more than I deserved.

When I arrived at home, Shun came to greet me at the entrance, looking relieved.

"Welcome back," he said.

"...I'm home…" I replied. Immediately I was a little embarrassed since we usually said this to each other, but it was always called out in passing, not done while making eye contact.

But then he asked me about how it was helping my teacher out, and I was able to make him laugh at how much we struggled to entertain a child, leaving out all the yakuza-related bits of course.

I thought about what Yankumi said about the warmth she wished we could all experience, and wondered if that's how I felt about these moments with Shun in this house. I smiled to myself, realizing that while a little different than Yankumi's, it probably was.

When I arrived to class the next day, Uchi was already there, joking around with Noda and Minami. I stopped in my tracks, just looking at him.

All three of them noticed me at the same time.

"Morning, Kana!" Noda and Minami said a little too cheerfully, but I could only nod at them.

"What's up?" Uchi asked, looking up at me from where he sat.

I shook my head, but that was when Sawada walked in. Our eyes met, and I didn't know what to say. I could feel Uchi looking between me and Sawada, so I immediately turned and sat down, regretting everything about my inability to act normal. So much for not making things awkward.

But then the bell rang, signaling the start of homeroom, and we were all immediately surprised to see Yuta walk in behind Yankumi.

"Since Kawashima-sensei will be returning from her conference at noon, Yuta will spend the morning with us. Hey, you guys need to be a good example, okay? Kids copy everything adults do."

The class began to murmur their dissent, realizing they wouldn't get to do whatever they want, but also probably not knowing what being a good role model even meant.

"Yuta, your seat is in the back, by Sawada," Yankumi told him.

"Okay," he said cutely and walked to the back. The guys all stared at him as he walked by.

"Hi Shin, hi Kana," he said with a wave.

"Yo," Sawada said, waving back. I patted his head.

"Hey, since when did you guys get to know him so well?" Uchi asked.

"It's a secret, right?" Sawada said to Yuta, who nodded.

"Alright, let's start class," Yankumi said. The class began to chatter loudly and do their own thing, like usual, until she cleared her throat. Everyone stopped and turned to look at Yuta, who stared at them with wide eyes. The class groaned but pulled out their textbooks nonetheless and looked up at the board.

"Hey, not bad. This is actually like school," Yankumi said happily.

"This is school," Sawada muttered. Yuta looked up at him curiously.

"Don't mind him. He's just a grumpy guy," I said to Yuta, who grinned. Sawada socked me in the arm when Yuta looked away towards Yankumi and I couldn't help but flinch when he hit a still tender spot. His eyes widened, realizing what happened but I shook my head, tilting my head at Yuta who was now looking back at us

Uchi also looked at me concernedly, which made Noda, Kuma, and Minami also look at me, and I wanted to disappear. Why couldn't things just go back to normal?

Luckily, though, Yuta attracted most of the guys' attention throughout the rest of the day.

All of the us signed their names and drew pictures on a paper pyramid, which they gave to Yuta.

"Thank you!" he said sweetly, and they all patted his head and poked his cheek fondly.

'Future doting fathers and uncles maybe' I thought to myself with a grin, watching them show their affection.

When Fujiyama began her English class by saying "Good Morning," the guys all eagerly repeated it back. But when she said "How are you?" the guys were stumped.

"I'm fine, thank you. And you?" Yuta suddenly said in clear English from his seat in the front.

"Very good!" Fujiyama complimented, and the guys all cheered him on.

During passing period, I walked past the guys' restroom and saw some 3-D guys stumble out, all wet.

"What happened?" I asked. They all pointed at Yuta, who looked up at me innocently. I laughed, and tipped his cap upwards. In any other situation, the guys would've been furious, but they all seemed to be having a good time.

After we ate lunch together, we played "Red Light, Green Light" in the classroom, where Yuta was "it" and Sawada and I sat by him to help him out. 3-D had especially exaggerated poses when they'd freeze in place that made us all laugh.

"Kuma," Sawada pointed out to Yuta, noticing Kuma shaking under the weight of Noda, who had jumped on his back.

"Kuma's out!" Yuta said laughing. Kuma groaned.

Yuta gave Sawada and I the "peace" sign. I grinned when Sawada slightly embarrassedly gave him a peace sign back. He glared at me when Yuta wasn't looking, but I realized Yuta was looking at me instead.

"Kana, why do you have a cut on your face?" Yuta asked me suddenly. I saw Sawada straighten up, and I fought to keep my composure.

"I fell down," I said simply.

"I fall down all the time, but I usually only get scraped on my knees and hands," he said. "How did you fall down?"

I knew he was just curious, but I struggled to answer. It didn't help that I could feel Sawada's intense gaze, waiting for my answer.

Luckily, Kawashima came into the classroom at that moment.

"Mama!" Yuta said, running up and hugging her.

"Were you a good boy? Did you have fun?" she asked him.

"Yeah! All of these big kids played with me!" he informed her.

"Thank you," she said to us.

"No problem," the guys said, cheerful & sincere.

Kawashima sat by Yuta as he excitedly told her about what we'd been doing all morning.

"Hey Yuta, have you managed to learn how to do a back flip on the pull-up bars yet?" she suddenly asked him. He shook his head sadly. He had told us he was trying to, since most of his classmates had already mastered it.

"Aww, you'll be able to do it, Yuta," Yankumi said to him.

"Yeah, don't give up!"

"It took me forever!"

"You'll get it someday!"

With the guys' encouragement, Yuta brightened up.

Suddenly, Saruwatari, along with Washio and Fujiyama, walked in.

'Kawashima-sensei, your in-laws are here for Yuta," Saruwatari said.

"Apparently, Yuta-kun left without telling them," Fujiyama informed her worriedly.

I was stunned and I could tell the rest of the class was too.

"Yuta, did you come without telling your grandparents?" Kawashima asked him, her kind voice from earlier gone. He hung his head. "Why did you do that? I hate liars," she said sharply.

"You don't have to be so harsh," Uchi jumped in.

"Yeah, he came to see you," Kuma added.

She ignored the class's voices of disagreement and pulled Yuta's hand. "You're going home with your grandparents," she said.

"Already? You haven't seen him in so long," Sawada spoke up.

"At least spend today with him," Yankumi suggested, but Kawashima got up and pulled Yuta out of the classroom. Washio, Fujyama and Yankumi followed them out.

"What the heck was that?" Minami muttered. The class sat staring at Yuta's paper pyramid in silent frustration.

"She's the worst," Noda said darkly.

I didn't know what to think. Sure, Yuta was in the wrong for lying, but hadn't he come for all the right reasons?

About 15 minutes later, Kawashima returned to our class. I was stunned at how quickly she had returned. Did Yuta leave already?

"Thanks for hanging out with Yuta," she said with forced cheerfulness.

"I feel sorry for him," Uchi said in a low tone just as she grabbed her bag and was about to leave. "The feeling he had when he came to see you, the feeling he has now having to leave…do you understand that?"

"I understand," she said.

"Then why did you let him go like that?!" Kuma demanded.

"Aren't you a bit cold?" the class began to call out.

"I thought you were better than that!"

"What kind of mother are you?"

"Why can't you live with him?" Fujiyama asked, coming into the room with Yankumi.

"Don't say that like it's easy," she snapped.

"What's so hard about it?" Minami asked, standing up.

"That's none of your business!" Kawashima snapped at us.

"Isn't it normal for mothers and their children to live together?!" Noda protested.

"What do you guys know?" Kawashima said bitterly.

I stood up, angry for Yuta, angry at her for deflecting. This wasn't the Kawashima I knew.

"We don't know. Why a mother would neglect her child, of course we don't know!" Uchi shouted at her. The class began to yell in agreement.

"That boy isn't my son!" Kawashima burst out, and the class hushed. "He was born between my late husband and his previous wife, but Yuta thinks I'm his real mother because I've lived with him and his dad since he was one. But that boy and I are not even related!" With that, she fled the room, Yankumi and Fujiyama running after her.

The silence in the room was deafening. I sat back down deflated, guilty for the anger I had felt towards Kawashima, and upset for her and Yuta. And I could tell my classmates felt the same.

But we didn't know what to do.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! I know that maybe email notifications are not working like before so this might not be reaching people who used to read before but I appreciate it if anyone is still reading.