Never Gonna Let You Down
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
7/17/2024
tags: Sephiroth and Zack friendship, AU, singing while cooking, baking, carrots, silly, inspired by art by KyuubiPandoraChan, tocasia does songfic, don't worry everything went better than expected, discord prompt fill (sorta)
Summary:
Sephiroth invited Zack over to his apartment.
That was not unusual.
The reason for this particular visit, however, was.
"Hey Seph, where did all these carrots come from?"
General Sephiroth pulled his long-sought objective from the dust-frosted shelf.
The cookbook was old. It bore library scars. The measurements were in different units than he was used to; he would have to look up the requisite equivalencies.
Even the simplest dishes were photographed with garnishes to make the food appear more interesting.
They must go through a lot of parsley.
Were those tropical-looking flowers edible?
...what about for non-SOLDIERS?
At least the binding was paper, ruling out some more... esoteric texts.
Not that there was anything wrong with a little kitchen alchemy, despite Hojo's distaste for the word.
The labs would be no help for this project.
Perhaps choosing a mission at random had been unwise. Who would have thought last week's boredom would have consequences?
He was going to need backup.
His best choice was Zack. Zack, who called him up with interesting questions like, "Can chocolate powder be explosive?" and "How do they make curly fries?" and "Is this fruit supposed to be fuzzy?" but who Sephiroth knew for a fact could bake a cake from a boxed mix. There was a lot to be said for the ability to follow directions.
Sephiroth could mobilize the rest of SOLDIER to do it instead. Strategic delegation was an option available to him, and appropriate for a task of this scale. But he'd look like an idiot admitting he'd overreached or misread mission parameters, which was more mortifying than (he checked the calendar) Tuesday could handle. So Zack it would be. Because it was okay to look like an idiot in front of your friends. That's part of what friends were for.
This would not be like the onion incident.
Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class and Cooking Extraordinaire (No Matter What Aeris May Have Told You), entered Sephiroth's freezing cold apartment. It was a few degrees warmer than usual. And smelled nice, like the inside of a spice cabinet.
"So, what's on the menu?" Zack clapped his hands together.
"See for yourself," Sephiroth turned briefly from whatever required his attention at the counter and gestured with a knife that was not six feet long to the enormous stack of vegetable crates grazing the ceiling.
Zack looked at the boxes. "Carrots?"
Shockingly, Sephiroth explained the situation. Fresh produce was expensive in Midgar. It was critical that none be wasted. Yes, they had to cook all of it. No, the carrots could not be 'disappeared in Science', although Sephiroth granted that was a plausible origin for the Twin Brain and Vargid Police monsters. Carrots were a 'sometimes food' for chocobos. The recipients of this questionable feast were none of his concern.
"Of course I'll help!" Zack struggled not to laugh, and caught the bundle of floury fabric Sephiroth threw at his head. He unfolded the cloth and tied the apron strings around his waist. "I am a carrot-peeling champion! Had them in stew all the time as a kid."
The cookware was all black.
Zack grabbed a fistful of mismatched measuring spoons from the drawer.
Seph's cutting board was a massacre. His chopping was a blur. He'd probably cast Haste on himself.
"Aren't you supposed to grate carrots for carrot cake?" Zack helpfully remembered.
"These are for the pie." Sephiroth handed him the grater. "You can do the cake."
"Right."
"Zack."
"Seph."
"Red pepper flakes are not on the list."
"Oops."
"Hmm, mashed carrots are a thing, right?"
"Maybe?" Sephiroth had doubts. He peered over Zack's shoulder at the pulverized mess. "Not on their own, I think." The carrots for the pie needed to be mashed, but boiled first, and these were not those carrots.
Pancakes? A filling for dumplings? The cookbook swore there was nothing a good glaze couldn't fix.
"They're basically long orange potatoes," Zack said. "Should be fine."
"How is it?" Sephiroth asked. Zack had agreed to a taste test.
"I don't think you need to add any more salt."
...Zack was a good friend.
"Okay, so is this supposed to be a thick dough or a light fluffy batter?" Zack wanted to know.
"That's up to you. We'll probably use both."
Sephiroth did not cook often. In truth, he was only a passable chef, capable of the basics, unadventurous in the rest.
He liked having the kitchen to himself. More people just got in the way.
But with Zack it was different.
"What are you humming?" The tune was hard to place.
"Oh," Zack apparently hadn't noticed he was doing it. "My mom used to sing this song around the house, while she was cooking or cleaning."
Sephiroth had anticipated an out-of-season holiday classic. Or a bawdy marching song, or a radio oldie; a reprise of last week's karaoke disaster. Not this.
"Do you remember the words?"
Zack slowed his stirring and closed his eyes, "Yeah, I think so."
Sephiroth knew Zack could sing, sometimes even well, but he'd never heard him sing like this before.
The song wove through its verses. It began:
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Sephiroth paused in his carrot chopping. "Keep singing," he thought, an order almost voiced. And keep smiling.
Fortunately, Zack ploughed on without needing encouragement, his stream of memory uninterruptible.
The rhythm and structure suggested a folk song. It would have a guitar accompaniment. Zack was learning guitar, wasn't he?
"Where have all the young girls gone" led into "gone for husbands, every one."
Husbands, gone for soldiers, every one.
...soldiers gone to graveyards.
...graveyards gone to flowers. A complete cycle.
Always the chorus, "Oh when will they ever learn, oh when will they ever learn."
All the while, Zack stirred, like his mother must have in a rosy past, oblivious to the anti-war message he was singing at his General.
It was nice, the short moment of innocence before Zack's brain caught up.
"Oh shit. Am I in trouble?"
"No. It's... an accurate song," Sephiroth decided.
The war was over, after all. Shinra probably deserved to bear the brunt of a little treason.
"Don't you dare pull rank on me for dishes duty," Zack joked.
Sephiroth answered him with silence, smug and pointed.
"Dammit."
"I'm kidding, Zack. I'll do my share."
Important Author's Note:
Inspired by KyuubiPandoraChan's art. I do not have a working link to the pic anymore. I've looked on tumblr to no avail.
Here's the art description I wrote in the fic notes:
they stand behind the same brown counter
chibi Zack is stirring something vigorously in a black bowl with a brown-handled spoon
Zack's eyes are closed in happiness and he is singing
chibi Seph is chopping a carrot with a small knife
he is looking fondly at Zack (and kind of blushing)(has paused in his task)
sparkles everywhere (they are both happy and at peace and it is cute as hell)
Peter Paul and Mary
'Where Have All the Flowers Gone'
(link to youtube)
Please go listen. It's a good song.
A big Thank You to everyone who contributed ideas to this story and listened to me complain about it, especially KyuubiPandoraChan, PrismaticPichu, Ryvian, Zannis, Soawen, brilliantKatabasis, and others on and off discord. Sorry it took so long.
And I still owe AerisLei three sentences from that time.
WORDS
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