Most of you have caught onto the fact that, just because Maya and Claudine reunited after such a deceptive false tragedy, it doesn't necessarily mean everything will be perfect right off the bat...

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kagkei Revue Starlight.

Chapter 12. On The Horizon

About two months have passed since Maya and Claudine have been reunited.

In those eight weeks, they've spent many wonderful days together; going shopping or out to the movies, hanging out at Maya's apartment, or even just calling and texting and talking about their days.

The more concerning incidents where deeper, more serious issues would raise their heads were few and far between.

More often than not, it was Claudine who reacted very strongly to a very minor blunder, whether it was Maya being late to meet her, wandering too far in a crowd, or taking too long to respond to her messages. Claudine would always apologize, as she just couldn't help the panic.

And each time, Maya would apologize too, blaming herself, perhaps unnecessarily, as she calmed and comforted her.

Those instances always put a great deal of strain on the two of them. But they were both just so relieved to have each other back in their lives. They didn't want to address the bad things. Instead, they just continued to overlook them, and push them aside…

At the start of her third semester, Maya receives a special opportunity at her university.

There's an "Aspiring Playwrights" writing competition, where everyone who enters will remain anonymous under a chosen alias. Feeling ambitious and confident enough to participate, Maya enters.

She begins working on a script, and of course mentions it to Claudine, who is eager to hear her read her prototype and give her honest reactions, opinions, and advice. Being that Claudine has never left the stage and the world of theatre like Maya had, Maya trusts her up-to-date viewpoints on the crucial matters when it comes to script-writing.

Of course, Maya doesn't rely solely on Claudine's input though. Everything she writes is entirely her own work; she just changes things based on Claudine's reactions.

By the end of the two-week deadline, Maya has created a script that she is highly proud of.

On the night before submissions are due, Claudine stays over at her apartment as they read the script through one final time, which not only allows Maya to experience the entire story for herself, but also proves to be an exercise in vocals, voice acting, and fluency. Reliving the lessons of her old high school classes and lectures was bittersweet, since she knew she would never be able to stand on stage in quite the same way ever again, but she still drew enjoyment from practicing the things she loved with her partner.

At least, enjoyment is what she usually feels.

But just as frequently as there are times when Claudine displays some upsetting behaviors, Maya finds herself wallowing in feelings that are just as awful.

It's typically when she's alone, usually at night. She'll be going about her usual routine of washing dishes or folding laundry when, out of nowhere, she'll be struck with a burning, visceral anger. She dreaded to even acknowledge it as hatred. Rueful, bitter, ugly feelings-

-all directed at Claudine.

Because she got to continue on the path to fame.

She got to soak in the spotlight and dazzle the audiences.

She got to succeed and soar…

All things Maya felt she'd been entitled to do, but had so wrongfully been robbed of. Though she knew it was nobody's fault - least of all Claudine's.

But in having reconnected with her, it had allowed Maya to be close to her again. So with whatever successes Claudine experienced, Maya was forced to plaster on a smile, even when it wasn't genuine.

She wanted it to be genuine. Always. But it wasn't quite that simple.

The darker, more hideous feelings were impossible to suppress, and it was all she could do not to scoff or sigh or frown right in front of Claudine at times.

So it had been her hope that, in entering this playwrights' competition, she might be able to get into the world of theatre to some degree, to at least be a small part of it. She couldn't bear to be entirely left out, left behind… Not from the world she still loved so dearly to this day…

When the day arrives to submit her script, Maya and Claudine go out to dinner afterward to keep morale high. Maya asks about her current work with the troupe, and Claudine gives an extensive overview of the next role she'll have in an upcoming performance. Another lead, as she deserved.

Maya smiles.

And yet, under the table, she grips her skirt with painful force as waves and waves of jealousy gush through her chest.

Again she smiles. But again, she doesn't mean it…

And later that night once they've parted ways and Maya finds herself alone in bed again, she breaks down miserably.

"How childish of me…" she mutters. "Why can't I be happy for her…? I am happy for her…"

She doesn't sleep well that night. But she does pray. Pray that something good can come of this script. If she could just rejoin the world of theatre again, even in something so small and anonymous, perhaps that would sate some of her ravenous desire for fame. And perhaps these awful feelings directed at a completely innocent Claudine would fade away.

Because over these past two months, Maya had come to terms with something. Something she'd known for a long, long time - since high school.

The three year gap in their lives hadn't even been able to stifle these feelings; if anything, it had only made them stronger. And now that they were actively a part of each other's lives again, texting and talking and going out together like any close companions would - like they'd used to in simpler times…

Maya can't deny these feelings for much longer, and she knows it.

Even though I don't deserve her… Someone as pathetic and jealous and tainted as I am… does not deserve someone as pure and radiant as Saijou Claudine… She deserves someone much more honest. Someone true. Someone who doesn't conceal all of these terrible feelings from her…

Maya flips over in her bed and buries her face into her pillow.

No… My feelings for her are true. I know they are. Before all of this transpired, there was never any doubt about it. And even now, in spite of everything that's happened… I know it to be true.

What else could explain the flutter in her chest every time she opened her phone to see that she'd received a text from Claudine? Or the smile that naturally came to her face whenever they called? Or the insatiable urge to see her, spend time with her, and hold her?

Those things outnumbered all else, pushed the moments of bitterness and jealousy aside with ease.

For those three years, Claudine had always been the one Maya had missed the most.

Claudine had always been the one she'd think of.

It was always her headlines Maya would follow, her videos she would watch, her photograph that Maya would cry to the most…

Claudine. It had always been, and would always be, Saijou Claudine.

Maya knows it, and she'd always known it.

The tumult of emotions that had come with the recent events had eclipsed the more tender feelings for a time. But now it was clear that, even after everything that had happened, Maya's feelings for her had never changed. Not a bit.

Even if she couldn't stand on stage beside her anymore.

Even if she could no longer train in the studio with her, or dance or sing together in front of an audience with her.

Even if she could not have her dream career… she could still have her dream partner.

"I love you…"

The words just come out, without Maya even thinking about them. It's just a fact; something she'd known all her life. And she needed to tell her.

It's honestly criminal that she'd waited this long. Even if her darker thoughts still tell her she doesn't deserve Claudine, not when Maya still harbors such ugly, jealous emotions toward her… She tries to give herself the benefit of the doubt.

She knows her true feelings for Claudine are real. She knows she would do everything within her power to treat Claudine right and make her happy.

And deep down, past all of the complicated, twisting emotions, she wants to believe that Claudine feels the same way about her.

Maybe if they came clean and took that next step… perhaps things would begin to improve for the both of them.

In just a few more weeks, Claudine would be giving a performance at the Theatre du Flamme; a performance in which she'd landed the starring role. She's already been spending more and more of her free time practicing in order to perfect the part, and Maya knows their time together will only become more scarce as the night of the performance draws nearer.

So that's why she decides on afterward.

That night, after watching Claudine's big performance, Maya will take her out to a celebratory dinner. And that's when she'll confess her honest feelings, lay herself bare, and ask Claudine to be her girlfriend.

Maya sets the plan in stone in her mind, imagining how it might play out in real life in just a few weeks' time.

It makes her giddy. Makes her gleeful. Makes her excited beyond words.

None of that jealousy or anger or self-pity.

When she thinks of Claudine in terms of her truest feelings, Maya's only reaction is joy.

She's confident this will work out for both their sakes.

Now, it was just a matter of waiting for the fateful night.

Ever since Claudine had been chosen as the lead actress in troupe's upcoming performance, she had committed almost all of her free time to training and rehearsing. Even on weekends, she would head to the studio to perfect her role, even if she was the only one present.

Though, she and Maya still enjoyed their little shopping dates and movie nights together at Maya's apartment.

During their time spent together, Maya would help Claudine with her practice, either by reading the lines of other characters, or by offering feedback on Claudine's mock performance. Just as Claudine had given her opinions on Maya's script, Maya gives hers on Claudine's acting.

Claudine feels more excited for this play than any before it. And she believes it's all to do with the fact that she'd found Maya again.

In the past, she'd always felt weighed down in her performances. Because in the bottom of her heart, she'd always wished that Maya could see her. That Maya could be there to meet her afterward and congratulate her. That Maya could praise her and hug her and…

Well, none of that had been an option for the past three years. And Claudine had resolved herself to the notion that it would never be so again.

But now… Now it was possible. Now that she knew Maya was alive and well, those things could really happen.

Knowing that Maya will be able to watch her perform fills Claudine with a sense of joy she'd been lacking for years. Though it wouldn't be quite the same as being able to stand on stage beside Maya, simply knowing for a fact that she was nearby, admiring Claudine… That made her heart feel full.

And it feels all the fuller when one evening, a few weeks before her performance, Maya proposes an idea.

"After your performance," she says. "May I take you to dinner to celebrate, Claudine? Of course I understand if you already have plans with your co-stars, but I-"

"Yes!" Claudine all but blurts out her answer, so eagerly she nearly makes Maya spill the tea she'd been sipping at on the couch beside her. Claudine blushes faintly as she reels herself back in. "Sorry. But no, I don't have plans with anyone else. I mean, I'm sure they're going to make arrangements at the last minute, but there's no helping it if I'm already booked." She smiles, as brightly and beautifully as Maya had always remembered. "I accept, Tomita Maya."

Maya grins.

"It's a date then."

It's odd. Claudine is almost more excited about the dinner date with Maya afterward than she is about her actual starring role performance with the troupe of her dreams.

The fact that celebrating with Maya was more appealing than the play itself truly said something.

Something she'd known for a painfully long time. Something she'd realized back in high school, on her trip home to visit her parents. Something she'd planned on addressing back then…

And then never gotten to say. Not properly, anyway. Her realization that she'd loved Maya back then had come a day too late.

Over the agonizing years that had followed, she had confessed over and over again to Maya's text messages, to her photograph, to her memory… All while fully believing that Maya herself would never be able to hear that confession, and Claudine would have to live the rest of her life with those bitter, stinging regrets.

And even now, despite the terrible lonely years that have passed them by… The moment Claudine had laid eyes on her again, those feelings had stirred.

Of course, many more pertinent and powerful emotions had come first and foremost; the relief of knowing she was alive, the curiosity of wondering what she'd been doing all this time, the anger at the unfair amount of pain they'd both been made to suffer…

But as the months had gone by and the two of them had established and settled into their casual, secretive routine together, the heavier, more encompassing feelings had finally quelled. Which allowed the quieter, more delicate feelings that had been crushed and drowned to finally rise back up to the surface.

Claudine isn't even certain of when she'd acknowledged it again. The fact that she was in love with Maya, that is. Perhaps it had even come as soon as that first night in the alleyway, but had simply been knocked aside by the onslaught of other emotions.

But little by little, Claudine had been made to realize it.

In the thrill she felt whenever Maya called her.

In the way her heart leapt upon seeing her after a long day.

In the way she wanted to hold her hand for longer and longer, until she ended up staying the night curled up in Maya's arms…

It really was quite obvious. And maybe it always had been. It's just taken some time for the two of them to clear their heads enough to realize it.

Claudine is seized by the urge to do what she'd failed to do so many years ago. She wants to confess her feelings for Maya. If the world can't know of her love for Tendo Maya, then she at the very least wants Maya herself to know.

But her head is too jumbled with thoughts of her upcoming performance. So perhaps once that is over, Claudine will be able to speak her mind.

The day of her performance, and hers and Maya's subsequent celebratory dinner, cannot come quickly enough.

About two weeks before the anticipated night, Maya and Claudine are enjoying a Saturday afternoon together on Maya's couch.

They'd already completed their usual errands and their dances for the day, and are presently seated comfortably together watching a film. They're enjoying themselves, discussing the actors and the plot with objective commentary, while still being able to laugh about the ridiculousness of some scenes.

"His acting is impeccable," Claudine is saying. "But the camera angles leave something to be desired."

"I agree. And the soundtrack-"

But Maya cuts off abruptly at the sound of shuffling at her apartment door. It was instinct to be startled for her, since there's always that lingering thought in the back of her mind, that the threat might still be real and hunting for her…

"Easy," Claudine soothes her with a gentle hand over hers. "It's just the mailman. He usually comes around this time on weekends, remember?"

Maya swallows, then exhales a long breath.

"You're right. My apologies."

"Don't worry about it. Would you like me to go fetch the mail if you're not comfortable…?"

"No-" Maya answers perhaps a bit too quickly. Heaven forbid that it really was the Yakuza, she would want to take any blows herself rather than risk Claudine's wellbeing. "I'll get it. Please don't trouble yourself."

Claudine gives a little smile before removing her hands to let Maya get up.

Maya crosses the room and heads toward the door, while Claudine directs her attention back to the film. Though she can't help but feel a little uneasy as well. Though it was evident that the people who had once been after Maya's life were no longer a threat, there was always that thorn of a thought in the back of her mind, the 'what if…?'

Claudine only half focuses on the film, tuning into the sound of the front door opening as Maya steps out.

For a moment afterward, there's no other sound but the movie. Claudine can already feel her stomach churning with worry. She can't help but call out for her.

"Maya…?"

Nothing. Only silence.

Immediately, Claudine spirals into a panic.

"Maya-?"

She's on her feet in seconds, whirling around to hurry around the corner of the threshold to the little breezeway that led to the door.

Thankfully, Maya is there, standing with some papers in her hand. Relief crashes over Claudine as strongly as the fear had. Tearfully, she races forward and throws her arms around her.

"Idiot! Why didn't you answer me-?"

Maya is pulled from her trance the moment she realizes what had happened. She quickly returns the embrace when she feels Claudine shaking.

"My apologies."

"Don't scare me like that."

Maya drops the formalities.

"I'm sorry, Claudine."

Again, Claudine feels foolish for overreacting, but she just can't help it.

And again, Maya feels guilty for causing her such worry, though it was hardly anyone's fault.

After a moment of recovery, Claudine manages to stand on her own again, without leaning onto Maya.

"So then… what had you so absorbed that you couldn't hear me…?" She peers down at the paper in Maya's hands to find a very formal letter. The sender reads Aspiring Playwrights, and the opening line begins with 'We are pleased to inform you…'

Claudine's stomach settles from the anxiety, and instead a hopeful spark flickers in her chest.

"Maya…?"

Maya keeps one arm around her and holds the letter with her other hand. A smile spreads across her face.

"They… They chose my script," she says. "I've been invited to intern at a script-writing workshop."

"That's amazing!" Claudine reads over the letter for herself.

Not only does it invite Maya for a paid intern experience, but it also states that she will be presented the opportunity to work with other authors and playwrights. It would be the next best thing for Maya aside from standing on stage herself. If she could never show her face in theatre as an actress again, she could at the very least work behind the scenes as a writer.

Claudine jumps up and hugs her again.

"Maya, that's incredible news!"

Maya still can't believe it. She reads and re-reads the words again and again, but it almost doesn't make any sense.

This was the break she'd been longing for. The chance for her to once again become a part of that world she loved so dearly…

Claudine's excited little squeals solidify it for her. Maya breaks out into a smile, one so big it hurts her face. Locking both of her arms around Claudine's waist, Maya hoists her up clean off her feet and twirls her.

"I can't believe it!"

Claudine laughs merrily as Maya puts her back down. They beam at one another in sheer happiness, eyes sparkling…

They nearly get too carried away, needing to stop themselves when their faces get a bit too close. Claudine quickly clears her throat and looks back down at the letter instead.

"When do you start?"

"Effective immediately," Maya replies. "It seems my professors are all aware that this will change my schedule a little, but they've all signed off and approved it."

"I'm so glad," Claudine sighs. "Congratulations, Maya."

"Thank you very much."

"Are you going to tell your parents?"

"Yes. I probably should be the one to break the news to them before the school does."

Together, they scurry back into the living room so Maya can pick up her cell phone and make the call. Her parents are initially a bit cautious about such a change, but ultimately agree and congratulate her.

To celebrate, Claudine insists that Maya order whatever she wanted for dinner to be delivered, and pays for it.

They enjoy their evening, relishing this feeling of victory and elation. Maya can't stop grinning all night long, and her smile is contagious for Claudine as well.

It gets late before they know it, so Claudine ends up staying. By the time they lie down in bed together, Maya is so thrilled that she can't help but pull Claudine into her arms, interlocking her fingers around her waist and pulling Claudine on top of her. They laugh, brush foreheads, and lean close…

But something prevents them from going any further just yet.

Perhaps it's the desire to wait for the night they'd planned on after Claudine's performance…

Perhaps it's due to a fear that they really might still be putting each other in danger by staying close…

Perhaps it's due to a want to not simply get swept away in the moment, and make light of these very deep feelings…

It might be a mix of them all, but regardless, they both stop before they can cross that line. Maya loosens her hold on her, and Claudine quietly slips off of her.

"We should sleep," she murmurs. "You're going to have a long week ahead of you with your new internship…"

"Agreed," Maya says. "Likewise, you're going to have a very busy time preparing for your performance."

But it would only be two more weeks before the anticipated date. Maya is confident she could wait just that much longer.

So the two of them curl up and close their eyes, inviting in dreams of the bright, prosperous future rather than the dark, lingering past.

A/N: Good news and not so good news... Maya has a major opportunity ahead of her, one the likes of which she might never get offered again. But both she and Claudine still harbor thoughts and insecurities that are still weighing down on their minds and their hearts. How will Maya's news affect them...?

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