Sigh 😔 Here I go again. So a day after I said I would try to update more on my last chapter my computer died and ascended to the after life. *sigh. I can't believe this. If it's not one thing its another. Now, nine months later I'm trying to update from a Nokia Lumia 690. Smh. Well it was all or nothing I suppose.
read and Review.
See you at the end.
-Maka A. Kurosaki, formally known as ToxicBeautie.
Chapter Four.
A week and four days.
That was how long Lelouch had been staying with Senji and Lloyd.
And he felt just awful for burdening the two with his situation.
After Lelouch had gotten himself together in the bathroom, he didn't want Senji to know he had been in there crying. When he looked himself in the mirror, he was surprised that the makeup he had put on his eye yesterday was holding up so well. He came out and went into the living room where Senji had sitting watching t.v. The brunette had asked him what happened on the phone and Lelouch, trying to stay calm, told him nothing. Then he asked if he had to go home and sadly Lelouch shook his head. Before the raven could stop himself, he had lied and said that his husband was on a business trip an that he didn't have his house keys. Senji had taking that this was why he had been sleeping on the park bench.
Lelouch had then tried to leave telling them he was sorry for being a such a burden. But Senji wouldn't let him saying that he was still pretty sick and since his husband was staying out of town and couldn't be back for while, he should stay with them a little while longer. Lelouch tried to talk his way out of it, but the brunette wasn't having it and soon he had talked the raven into staying.
and so he did.
And though he felt bad for staying here, eating their food and sleeping in Senji's bed (which the brunette had insisted on)...
He was kind of enjoying himself.
He wasn't sure if he should have been, but he couldn't stop himself. Lloyd and Senji were a lot of fun to be around with their constant banter and Senji made him laugh all the time when he felt down about his husband making him almost forget all his troubles with him and his husband.
Things had been going pretty good. Right now he was in the small kitchen washing a few dishes that had been in the sink for some time. He always tried to earn his keep in the small dorm. He didn't just want to be living here with them just doing everything for him. So he cooked and cleaned here and there, all the while trying not to over do it like Lloyd had told him to do.
Senji still didn't know that Lelouch was pregnant and wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell him, it was just that he was scared of how the brunette would act if knew about him. He didn't know what he would do if Senji didn't like him anymore. As much as Lelouch didn't want to admit, Senji was sort of his only friend in the world. Even though their friendship never really pass the casual seeing each other at the diner where the brunette worked.
Though its not like the ravens husband would ever let him go out on a friendly outing with another person, let a alone with another man.
Lelouch sighed. His husband could be very jealous.
The raven was so deep in his musing that he didn't notice that someone had walked into the kitchen. The person had walked up to the raven put a hand on his shoulder. Lelouch jumped in surprise and dropped the plate his was cleaning causing it to stutter on the floor. The raven spun around quickly to see that it was Senji who had just come back from class.
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you." Senji said. The raven looked up at him and than down at the broken plate. His eyes widen.
"Oh my goodness I'm so sorry!" Lelouch said quickly when he notice what he had done. "I-I didn't mean to!" Panic was in the small ravens voice as he quickly got on his hands and knees and began to pick up the pieces.
Lelouch took the bottom of his shirt and pulled in up slightly, so he would have a place to put the broken plate. "I-I clean it up right away." It was main focus at that moment. The pregnant male was placing the pieces in his shirt with one hand while picking the pieces with another. He was going so gas that he actually cut himself on a piece.
"Lelouch-" Senji started as he touched the raven's flinched away from the brunette almost violently. He dropped the plate pieces as he had let go of his shirt and put both hands on his head.
"please don't hit me!" He yelled. Senji looked at him with wide eyes.
"Lelouch...?"
"I'm so sorry..." The raven was shaking. "I'm so sorry..." He would say. He was mad. He has to be, he had broken something of his. He was going to be in so much trouble for sure. Senji, not sure why Lelouch had acted this way, slowly came a little closer to him.
Lelouch heard him move closer and began to shake more.
"this is it..." He thought afraid. "Don't run, that makes it worse..." He knew better than to do something like that, but he reminded himself always. Than he felt Senji take his left fro. On his head and bring it to himself. Lelouch peaked to see what the other was doing and saw that the brunette was looking at his hand. The one that he had cut.
"Lelouch..." The brunette said quietly. "You're hurt..." The ravens eyes widen. Why did he sound so worried? Wasn't he mad he broke a plate! Suzaku always-
Lelouch froze.
This was Senji holding his hand worriedly. Senji... The one that always made him so happy, the one that made him laugh when he was down, the one that was always so... Gentle.
oh no...
Lelouch began to feel a crazy amount of guilt. Not only because he had freaked out in front of the man, because for that second,that one second, Lelouch that forgotten where he was was.
And he had mistaking Senji for his husband. How could had done that? Senji was nothing Suzaku. Senji was sweet, kind, charming. And Suzaku... Suzaku was none of those things, not anymore.
"I'm... I'm so sorry..." Lelouch said quietly his eyes filling with tears. Senji looked up at Lelouch
"its ok-" The brunette started, but Lelouch cut him off,
"I'm sorry!" He said again as he took his hand from the brunette. He stood up quickly and ran away from the brunette. Senji stunned, didn't know what to do as the raven ran passed him and out of the kitchen. He could hear the unmistakable sound of the bedroom closing telling him that that's where Lelouch had run off to.
Senji, finally coming out of his shock, stood up and went down the hall after Lelouch. Coming to the door, Senji knocked instead of just entering.
"Lelouch...?" Senji said softly. You're in here right...?" The brunette mentally cursed himself for the dumb question, but he really didn't know where to start. "Listen... I'm sorry about the kitchen, I shouldn't have scared like that and make you drop that plate. It was stupid of me and I'm really sorry..." Senji said. He felt really bad for freaking Lelouch out like that. He did t know that the brunette was that sensitive, but know that he did, he was going to do better. It was quiet Senji saying nothing as he wanted to see Lelouch excepted his apology. Then the brunette heard slightly mumbling and put his ear on the door to get a better listen.
"I'm so sorry..." He heard through the door.
"Lelouch..."
"I... I just need to be along for a moment... Please?" He heard the other say. Senji sighed, but nodded. though the other could not see him, so he said.
"Yeah, Lelouch... I'll be in the living room if you need me..." With that Senji reluctantly walked away from the bedroom door.
Lelouch sat on the other side of the door, knees pulled as close as he could get them to his chest. He felt so stupid. Why did he have to always mess something up and do something stupid? He sighed. He knew why, because he was a worthless excuse of a human being that always had to do something wrong. Now Senji was blaming himself for him being a compete idiot.
"What is wrong with me...?" He asked the empty room.
3 Hours had passed since the incident in the kitchen and Senji and Lelouch had yet to see each other. The raven was still in the room he and Lloyd had been sharing for the last week and a half, while Senji was in the living room laying on the couch. Lloyd had come and gone again, not really caring about whatever had happen between to two boys before he had got there. He didn't ask, but noticed something was wrong when he had got there. When went in his room Lelouch was on the side of Senji's bed on the floor, eyes red from clearly. But he didn't say anything, all he wanted was his text book and he would be gone to the library for a few hours hoping whatever this was, was handled.
He was in no mood for a lovers spat.
Senji watched as Lloyd had come and left in about forty seconds. The bespectacled side nothing as he entered, but only one thing as he left.
"Have this handled before I'm back." And he was gone. The brunette sighed. That was an hour and a half ago. He knew Lloyd was right, though he was sure he was saying it more for his sake of not wanting to hear it, than his own. But once again he knew his roommate was right, he always was. He wanted make it up to Lelouch for scaring him, but he wasn't sure how. He didn't want things to stay like this as long as the raven was here. He didn't like the idea Lelouch leaving here with a bad touch in his mouth about him. His heart felt heavy at that idea. That was something he knew he didn't want.
Lelouch was... He was the one person of the few people in the world Senji could actually say he couldn't live without having in his life. And there wasn't many people in his life he could say that about. Specially since the raven was the one Senji was falling head of heels for. The brunette let out a soft sigh. Maybe -no- he should definitely go try to apologize one more time to the lovely male.
"Yeah... That's a good idea." He said to himself as he stood up.
Lelouch sat on the floor in the bedroom sadly. He had been in the position for sometime, his body extremely stiff from no movement. But he couldn't found a reason to care. All he could do was think about what he did in the kitchen... In front of Senji. He felt so bad about the whole thing and wanted so badly to apologize, but he was afraid to. What if the other the didn't accept it? He couldn't blame him if he didn't. The he had acted was ridiculous, but he knew he had to apologize and let the other know it wasn't because of anything he did. He couldn't have brunette thinking that his reaction was his fault... He couldn't bare it... Lelouch stood up, despite his body telling him it didn't enjoy the sudden movements and made his to the bedroom door.
"I have to apologize to Senji and tell him it wasn't his fault." Lelouch knew all too well about being at fault for something, he went through it almost everyday at home with his husband and he knew it was something painful and unbearable that no one should have to go through. Having guilt like that weighs that person down making life harder and harder to live with. He knew because he was feeling it now as well, he felt it the moment he ran out of the kitchen and into the others bedroom. It was the reason way he wouldn't even sit on the others bed,
he didn't deserve to.
Lelouch walked out of the room into the short hallway and almost immediately ran into something firm, but soft. Lelouch didn't move, confused by what he had run into. Than he felt large hands grab his shoulders slightly and gently pull him away. The raven looked up and saw that he had run into the very person he was looking for.
"Senji-San..." Lelouch felt his mouth suddenly go very dry and he forgot why he had even left the safety of that room.
"Ah, Lelouch..." The brunette said softly. "I was just coming to check on you..."
"Oh... I-I'm... Oh..." The small male couldn't gather the right words to speak to the taller. Senji gave him a worried look.
"Are you ok?" He asked. Lelouch swallowed tightly and nodded not taking his eyes off the other. It was silence between for a second, neither one of them sure what to say. Then they both spoke.
"Lelouch I-"
"Senji I'm-"
Their eyes widen slightly and stopped talking when they cut each other off.
"I'm sorry-" Lelouch started about to apologize for cutting the brunette off..
"Sorry what-" Senji started getting ready to apologize for the same thing. It was silence fell between the two again, both looking away slightly embarrassed a tint of red on both of their cheeks.
"What should I do...?" Lelouch thought as looked at the very interesting wall to his right. The raven glanced out of the corner of his eye at the brunette. If Lelouch was right, Senji looked just as confused and embarrassed about this situation as he was (or that his cold was back). Just than he saw the other look in his direction as well. Lelouch looked fully at the other and the taller did the same. Then out of nowhere the two began laugh.
"That was so awkward." They both thought as they continued to laugh. After a moment they're laugh's turned to giggles then to smiles on their faces. The aura around them felt so much lighter after the much needed laugh they shared.
"Well that was much needed." Senji said and the smaller nodded.
"Yes.." Lelouch said in his ever soft tone. "I feel better now..." And he did. All the sadness and confusion went away in the very laugh. It was like it was suddenly he realized how silly he was acting, he never felt like this before.
"Well," Senji started. "I had come to see you to apologize, but I feel like I don't to do that anymore."
"I actually coming to do the same.,.." Lelouch had a admitted to the taller. The brunette gave him a confused look.
"Now why would you come to do that?" Senji asked. "I was the one that scared you."
"But I was the one that over-reacted." The raven told him.
"But I should have warned you I was home-" The brunette retorted.
"But I should have been paying attention-"
"I still should have warned you-"
"And I broke that plate-"
"But I-" Senji stopped and started to laugh and Lelouch followed suit.
"We're doing it again." Lelouch said giggling. Senji, laughing, nodded.
"Yeah." He said. "This isn't gonna to go anywhere is it?"
"I think not." The raven answered.
"Let forget this ever happened." Senji announced. "Deal?" Lelouch smiled up at the brunette and nodded.
"Deal." Senji let go on the raven he still been holding and stuck his hand out for the other shake. Lelouch looked at the hand then to the brunette, before lifting his hand up to shake the other hand. Just when he was about to shake the hand in front of him-
BOOOOOM!
Lelouch nearly jumped out his skin as the sudden noise sent terror through him. Without thinking he dove into the brunette's chest and hold him tightly like a lifeline. Causing Senji to blush deeply at the sudden contact. The brunette had jumped as well at the sudden noise, but not at bad as Lelouch had.
"W-w-what was that?!" The small male asked frightened. Senji looked around unsure himself. He thought maybe someone in the room may have dropped something, but dismissed that. Unless they had dropped a whole house upstairs, which he severely doubted, nothing could have made that noise.
BOOOOOM!
The noise came back, making Lelouch jump and let on a small scream held onto Senji tighter/ making the brunette blush even more. Finally knowing what the noise, he put a gentle hand on the raven head and petted it softly.
"Its ok Lelouch, its just a little thunder." He told the other. But the Lelouch took no solace in that news. He hated storms, thunder storms to be exact. The sudden noises and hurling winds terrified him to no end. Sudden loud sounds all ready scared him, but for them to be constantly happening and to be louder then anything Lelouch had ever heard. Combine that with hurling wind that sound like ghostly moans and rain falling no hard in sounds like someone or something was clawing at your windows and running across your roof... Oh-no storms was something Lelouch didn't like at.
Not on bit.
"I-I-I'm-" Senji shushed and began to comfort the visibly shaking male. He understood what other was trying to tell him. He was scared of storms too, well he use to be. He had gotten over them when was younger, but he still recognized the signs.
"It's ok Lelouch..." He said softly. "I'm sure it'll pass soon."
BOOOOOM!
As soon as the thunder stuck again the lights in the doom went flickered for a second before going off completely.
"Or not..." Senji said as he looked around it was pitch black
"Oh no oh no oh no..." Lelouch said over and over, one thing he hated more then storms was the dark. Why did both his fear to come together now? Of all times? "W-w-what are we gonna do?!" Feeling the others panic Senji pulled away from the other, much to the smaller dismay, and looked him in the eyes. Well where he was sure his eyes were.
"Listen to Lelouch I have you, your going to be ok." He told him honestly. "I'm right here ok ? I always will be." Lelouch eyes widen slightly. He suddenly felt so safe. No one had comforted him like this before. His husband only laughed at him with a storm came around finding his fear of storms amusing. Than making he sleep on the couch as he would just and whimper at night, saying that he didn't want to sleep with a mutt. Lelouch could feel his face get hot and was once a little happy about the darkness so that the other didn't see his face.
"O-o-ok..." He said softly a small smile gracing his face. He felt a little better now knowing that Senji was here with him. Maybe he would be ok.
BOOOOOM!
Lelouch jumped back into Senji arms.
Maybe not...
Ten minutes later the pair was sitting on the couch various lit candles around them. A boy from a few rooms down had come to the door and was handing them out along with several other people and to inform Senji that lightning had stuck the turbine near by and the whole school was out of power. He told Senji the back up generator was missing from it's usually place in the basement and they believe someone had stolen it. So the power would not be on for the night. The boy also told Senji that everyone was to say where they are until the storm cleared.
Lelouch didn't like did idea of having to deal with this all night, but with Senji he was sure he would be fine. Lelouch's concern was also on the fact that Lloyd was out there as well and he wasn't sure the lavender haired man made it to where ever he was going or if he got caught in the storm. He hoped for the odd man's sake he was ok.
"Are you feeling better now Lelouch?" Senji asked. The orange-ish light from the candles casting shadows cross his face, Lelouch's face, and most of the room. It looked kind of... Romantic.
"I'm feel much better thanks to you..." Lelouch's face turned red much to his disapproval. Senji had been so much help with him getting him to calm down. He told the raven to try and focus on him and for the most part it was working. Now and again he would jump at the thunder, but it wasn't as bad as before. And that made him happy, he didn't think he would ever get completely over it, but for move he was going to focus on the positive.
And the positive was right now was Senji.
His face felt warm and his heart was beating like crazy as he looked at the handsome man.
"H-h-handsome?!" He thought in a panic. When did he start thinking that about the taller male? Looked away from the brunette only to glance over in his direction. Well it was true, Senji was pretty handsome. bright brown eyes, nice soft, but strong features. He never noticed, but the brunette very handsome. The blush on Lelouch's face deepened. "Oooh, why am I thinking about this now of all times?!"
"You sure you feel ok?" Senji asked when the raven had gone quiet. Lelouch looked at the other.
"Y-yes..." It was quiet again between the two. Lelouch trying to calm his nerves, tried to think of anything else, but the strange thought that had fill his head. "So... y-you like to draw. Senji smiled at him and nodded.
"Yeah, haha I do." He told the raven. "I meant to clean my side of the room of all that before you started sleeping in there, but I forgot." He laughed lightly. Lelouch giggled.
"It's fine, I like looking at them." He said. "They're nice." Senji smiled.
"Thanks for saying that." Senji didn't let many people seeing his art, it wasn't that thought it was bad, he just wasn't ready for others to see them until he was sure they were ready, if he felt it wasn't his best, he didn't let it see the light of day. His wall in the bedroom was full of his art, but the trash was filled with even more.
"You're welcome." He said. "How long have you been drawing?" Senji leaned back on the couch a fond smile gracing his face. Lelouch noticed how nice he looked with that smile. Specially in the candle light.
"For as long as I can remember." The brunette started. "My mom was a artist and I guess it was a given that I'd be one too." His smiled widen at the thought of his mother. His mother was great. She was sweet, kind, and gentle, she had never hurt a person a day in her life. She was light of everyone's life. Growing up it had just been the two of them, but it wasn't like he minded. His father was never in the picture, so he was easy not to miss.
"She painted a lot of Scenic and Baroque art and sold them, anywhere she could." He frowned slightly at the memory. His mother would work so hard leaving early from the small apartment they lived in, going to god knows where to sale her art for very little in return. "She would always come home late and she be tired, but she always found time for me." It was hard for her, he knew that and he was grateful for his mother always taking the time for him.
"She sounds like an amazing mother." Lelouch noted. Senji looked at him and nodded.
"She was..." He said with a sad smile. "I wish she here so I could tell her that..." Lelouch's eyes widen and he suddenly felt very sad.
"Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't know!" He apologized quickly. He hoped he didn't make the brunette upset in anyway. He knew death of a love one could be a sensitive subject, but Senji shook his head.
"You don't have to apologize, you didn't know."
"We can stop talking about it..." Lelouch told him. "If it's... too painful..." Senji shook his head again.
"No its fine, trust me." He told the raven. True he did get sad about talking about her sometimes, but he enjoyed thinking about all of the good times they had when she was still here.
"You sure?" Lelouch asked and Senji nodded.
"Positive." Lelouch said nothing, just nodded. So Senji continued. "I remember when I was seven and I wanted to be like her, but I was no good." He said chuckling. "I wanted to draw Scenic and Baroque art too, like her, but it would always come out like pointless scribbles. She would tell me they're nice or they were good, but I knew they were junk." He let out a full on laugh. "at one point I had got so mad, that I had swear off art, of course her being an art and my mom, she didn't like that idea of her son giving up something so amazing and freeing like art."
What did she do?" Lelouch asked, completely engrossed into the story. Thunder had even come and made it loud terrifying noise, but he didn't even notice.
"One day she came to me and sat me down, I don't remember I lot of that talk but I remember this." Senji sat up straight, leaving his legs still folded Indian-style. "She told me; "Art was like love, there are no right or wrong answers." I had no idea what it meant." He laughed. "But I knew it meant something important, so the very next I started drawing again."
"I'm sure she was very happy with that." Lelouch said while giggling. Senji chuckled in nodded.
"I bet she was."
"I wish I had something like that..." Lelouch said quietly.
"What do you mean?" Senji asked. The raven looked at the other then down and off to the side.
"Well... I never had a mother... or a father." Lelouch admitted. Senji eyes filled with sadness knowing what he had meant.
"Oh Lelouch I'm sorry." He said softly. The raven had looked at him and gave him a sad smile.
"It's fine..." He told him. Lelouch had never known his parents and he was fine with that, though hearing Senji story, made him wonder what it would have been like to have something like that. "I grew at this orphanage I don't really remember where it was, but it wasn't too bad." He told him. It was true it wasn't that bad. He had three meals a day and somewhere to sleep, even if it was with a bunch of other kids, that didn't pay him any mind.
"They fed me, clothed me, gave me a place to stay." He told him. "So I can't complain really."
"Must have been hard.." Senji said sadly. He could clearly see Lelouch didn't seem to enjoy the memories that came with thinking about the orphanage. "We don't have to talk about it." Lelouch shook his head.
"No its ok," Lelouch didn't mind talking about it. After all the brunette shared so much about himself, that it only seemed fair. But that wasn't the only reason, he also really didn't mind telling Senji about that part of his life. For some reason, he felt comfortable telling the brunette about everything about himself, Well not everything, about his past at least. Some things that he didn't tell anyone, not even his husband.
He wondered for a moment why that was.
"Like I said, it was bad, it was a bit crowded, but I didn't mind." He said remembering all of the kids he shared one room with. It was about twelve if he was remembering correctly, he wasn't sure, kids were always in and out of that place. "I was there for a long time, watching kids come and go wondering when it would be my turn you know? Wondering type mother and father I would get, would they be nice? Would we go adventures?" The smiled sadly. "but of course no one ever wanted me." He said sadly, pulling his knees towards himself. "I was always ignored for better children, the happier, more playful ones."
"I'm sorry Lelouch," Senji said "If anything those people really missed out on a catch." Lelouch smiled at that.
"Thanks, that means a lot to hear you say that..." The raven said quietly.
"I mean it." Senji in a serious tone "You're a great person Lelouch, don't believe any different." Lelouch blushed at that. It had been a long that since anyone gave him as many complaints that Senji gave him. It felt strange, but in a good way.
"T-thank you." He said shyly. "You're always so nice to me."
"Why would I be, I-" Senji stopped himself before he said he would regret "You're my friend, it's what I'm suppose to do." Lelouch's heart felt weirdly heavy, but at the same happy when Senji called him a friend. He had never had one before and he was happy to say he now had one. But at the same his heart yearning for something more, but he wasn't sure what. Lelouch smiled.
"W-well it means a lot..." He told him. The two sat there for while talking about various things, to get their minds off of the sadder subjects they had talked about. Favorite colors to what each person liked to eat. It went on like that for some time until they landed on a more solid topic.
"Wow so you're going to be a Manga writer?" Lelouch asked in awe. Senji nodded and smiled.
"Yup, its something I wanted to be since I was younger."
"That's amazing!" Lelouch told him. The raven wished he had something like that., but he didn't have any talent.
"Haha thanks for saying so." Senji said blushing at the complaint from his crush.
"Have you started writing something yet?" Lelouch asked. Senji nodded.
"Actually I have." He told the raven. "Its not finished yet though."
"Awww I was going to ask if I could see..." Lelouch admitted a little disappointed. He would have loved to read Senji's work, it all looked so good from what he saw. "Can I know what its about, if you don't mind telling me?"
"Ah, yeah, sure I don't mind at all," Senji said his blush deepen as Lelouch's eyes filled with curiosity and excitement while he leaned a little closer. The brunette looked away from the cute male and cleared his throat.
"W-well its about a guy..." He started nervously. "A-and a girl..." Lelouch's eyes widen and shined with glee.
"It's a love story?" Lelouch asked, excitement clear in his voice. He loved romantic stories, he use to read them all the time. His husband had made him stop though saying they were stupid and pointless and "Filling his head with lies." But Lelouch still tried to get some in when he could.
"Y-yeah... Something like that..."
"What are they're names? Are they in love? What do they look like? How old are they? Do they get married?" Lelouch began to barred the man various question's about the story. Senji was surprised, he didn't know Lelouch would be so interested in his little story. The brunette had to think for moment before answering any of the raven's questions.
"I named the boy Benji..."
And the girl?" Lelouch asked.
"L-Lulu..." He anwsered shyly a blush on his cheeks.
"Oooh," Lelouch mused. "I like those names." Senji chuckled.
"Yeah I do too." He said. "As for if they're in love... Its complicated." When he saw Lelouch's confused look, he continued. "Benji is sure he's in love with Lulu, but he's sure, he- she doesn't love him back... She can't..."
"Why do you say that? Did Benji do something wrong?" Lelouch asked. Senji shook his head.
"No... Its just that..." Senji looked up sadly. "Lulu is with someone else..."
"Oh..."
"But Benji knowing this still loves her, his heart beating a mile a minute every time he see's her. Her soft voice, and infectious smile. Benji can't help his feelings for the girl, no matter what the situation is." He said smiling a little. "Even though Lulu is married, and they may never be, he try's his best to make the best of it, even if that means just making her smile... If her amazing smile is directed at him then its all worth it..."
Lelouch felt his heart beat wildly in his chest as he listened to the brunette tell him the story. He didn't know why, but all of what the man was saying sounded so... Familiar.
"B-But... If the boy loves her so much, why can't he tell her?" Lelouch asked. "M-maybe something could change...Maybe she would..." He understood she was with someone else, but maybe she didn't love them as much as she would love Benji.
"He's scared." Senji anwsered.
"Of what?" Lelouch asked.
"That he'll scared her away." He says. "That he'll never see her again, that she won't come back to the store where he works because of how he felt, so he doesn't say anything." Senji looked at Lelouch his eyes sad. "He can't risk that."
"B-but he shouldn't live like that!" Lelouch said passionately. Senji eyes widen at the sudden passion coming from the raven. "If you love someone you should tell them, Benji shouldn't suffer, and he doesn't know m-maybe Lulu loves him too, but she doesn't know what to do." Lelouch looked down at his knees that where still pulled close to his chest, a hand on each knee. "I think he shouldn't be paralyzed by fear... I think he should go for it... no matter the outcome..." Lelouch didn't know he felt so strongly about this, after all it was just story, but he felt the need to tell the writer of said story that.
Than he saw a hand sit on top his.
Lelouch looked up to see Senji, his face inches away from his. The light of the candles throwing all kinds of shadows across his face.
"S-Senji-San...?" Lelouch muttered confused. His heart feeling like it was going to burst from his chest.
"Lelouch I..." The raven felt his face get hot when the brunette spoke his name. The way his voice sounded it was so... seductive. Lelouch couldn't help it, despite is mind telling him it was wrong, his heart kept telling him it was ok. Lelouch closed his eyes, the brunette doing the same. Lelouch leaned forward slightly, his heart beating even crazier with excitement. He was sure the was wrong.
But he wanted it.
He needed it...
Lelouch could feel the other take his chin into his hand and tilt it up slightly. Senji brought his face closer and closer, he could the others breath on his lips.
This was it... he was ready. They were going to-
A loud jolly melody broke through the thick atmosphere the two created. Lelouch's eyes snapped opened at the sudden interruption. Senji's did the same. When they opened their eyes they could see just how close were, they were so close, their noses were practically touching. Suddenly a deep red blush took both their cheeks.
"U-um..." Lelouch muttered.
"Uhhh..." Senji groaned. Then Lelouch saw the position they were in. Panic sat in and the raven jumped up from the couch, almost felling the process.
"O-o-oh my goodness I-" Lelouch started, but the jolly tone started up again. Lelouch to the coffee table and saw that it was his own cell phone making the noise. Picking up the phone, the raven looked at it his eyes widen when he saw who it was.
It was his husband.
Quickly Lelouch flipped the phone open and answered.
"H-hello?" He answered nervously, trying to push what just happen a few seconds ago away.
What took you so long to answer my call?" Was the response he had gotten.
"I-I'm sorry my love, I-I was away from it..." Senji looked up at Lelouch, whose back was to him, and than away glaring. So it was him, Lelouch's husband. "He just had to call now?" He thought angry.
"Whatever, I need you home, now." He commended. Lelouch's eyes widen. Husband wanted him home? He could come home? Happiness swelled in his chest and he resisted the urge to jump up and down. But with the happiness came tint of sadness as well, but he pushed it away. His husband needed him. He could go home and try again with him.
"Y-yes, b-but husband..." He stated before he could stop himself. "T-t-the storm, I'll never make it." The other said nothing and Lelouch began to think he over stepped his boundaries.
"Fine, tomorrow." He heard the other say. "But be here before 9 am or there with be consequences, do I make myself clear?" Lelouch nodded feverishly, but remembered he was still on the phone."
"Y-yes," He said happily. "I'll be home soon. I love you..."
"Hn." Was all he got in return and a click to let him know the other hung up. Home... He was going home...
"I guess that means your husband is back from his business trip?" Senji said breaking Lelouch from his musing. The raven turned around and nodded. Senji looked down clinching his fist in anger.
"Dammit." He thought in frustration. "I was so close..." He was so close to showing Lelouch how he felt, but now the moment was gone. He didn't take the chance to do it when he could?
"Senji-San?" Lelouch called, taking him away from wallowing in his self pity. Senji looked up at the worried Lelouch and forced a smile.
"All I want is for him to be happy... even if its without me..."
"I'm happy he's back, Lelouch." He said forcing himself to sound happy. "I'm sure you both missed each other." The raven smiled and nodded.
"Yes... I will be leaving tomorrow." He told the brunette. "Thank you for everything." He said with a slight bow. Senji stood up and put his hand on the others shoulder.
"You don't have to thank me, it was pleasure having you here with me." Lelouch looked up at him and smiled only to soon blush and look away. When looked him, all he saw and heard was the scene that had happen before he had answered the phone.
"I-I should be going to bed." Lelouch said walking away from the other. "G-goodnight." The raven picked up a candle and left to the bedroom for the night. Senji watched him go sadly.
"I really messed this up didn't I?" He said to no one.
Lelouch and Senji were walking quietly side by side. Lelouch had wanted to go alone, but Senji had decided to walk with him. Lelouch had tired to leave without waking anyone, but of course he had failed. He had woken up Lloyd, who had come home late last night when the storm had finally broke. The lavender haired man saw him getting dress and asked where he was going and Lelouch told him. Lloyd had given him a look that he couldn't describe, but said nothing but good luck and something about "if that's what he wanted to do.". The raven had no Idea what that could have meant.
Moments later Senji had come in and saw that Lelouch was dressed and ready to go. Senji insisted in going with him and here they were. They had just gotten off the bus and was now walking towards Lelouch's home, which was just a few blocks away. Neither of them had said much of anything to each other.
Lelouch couldn't help to feel so awkward. They had almost... Lelouch didn't want to think about it. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want his friendship with the brunette to ruined because of a mistake. He was sure it was his fault in some way. He had to had said something to make the brunette think he felt that way for him...
Even though in that moment he felt... something...
Lelouch shook his head. No he couldn't think like that. He was married! The idea of him having feelings for another man... And it being someone like Senji. He quickly shook his head again.
No he couldn't!
"I feel awful..." He thought as he glanced over to the taller. The other looked kind of sad. Then Senji looked at him and Lelouch quickly turned his head to pretend he wasn't looking. He heard the other sigh.
"We should talk about it..." Senji said. They both couldn't just pretend it didn't happen. Lelouch looked at him sadly.
"I know..." He said. "But I don't know what to say..." What was he to about that? Where were you to start when his friend almost kisses you?
"You don't have to say anything, just listen." Senji said seriously. "I shouldn't have did that, I know you are married and it was wrong of me to try something like that with you, so I'm sorry."
"Y-you don't have to apologize." Lelouch said. "I'm sure I-"
"You didn't do anything," The brunette said cutting him off. "I was the one that started so please don't feel bad because of me."
"I..." Lelouch didn't know what else to say.
"I don't want to lose you as a friend Lelouch, not because this."
"You won't..." The raven said looking up at him with a small smile. Senji looked at him and gave him one in return. Lelouch then looked to his left and stopped. "This is me." He said. Senji looked up and saw they were at a plain white house.
"Oh..." Senji mutter almost sadly. He wasn't ready for Lelouch him yet.
"I... so..." Lelouch didn't want to leave just yet, he wanted to stay with brunette just a little while longer. But he knew his husband wouldn't like it. Even his heart was feeling heavy at the fact the he was about leave the other.
"Ah well... I'll see around." Senji said as he turned and started to walk away. Lelouch watched he go, but something was nagging at him.
"Wait!" Lelouch called, before he could stop himself. Senji stopped mid-step and turned around. "I-I have a question..."
"About what?" Senji asked curious.
"Do... Do Benji and Lulu end up together?" "Why am I asking this..." Why did this matter now? Senji confused about why he asked him that shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know," He told him. "I didn't finish."
"B-but if you did... Would they be together? Would she be happy?" Senji shrugged again.
"I think I'd make it up to her... To figure out what she wants." Lelouch looked down. That's when Senji added. "He loves her, no matter what, so no matter what or who she chooses, all he wants is her happiness, even if its not him she picks."
"But what if she thinks she fine in her married... but having doubts?" The raven asked. For some reason he really needed the answer's to that more then the others.
"Then she should follow heart..." The raven eyes widen, but he said nothing else, just nodded. Senji walked back to Lelouch and pulled something out of his pocket.
He took Lelouch's hand and put it in his palm. The smaller looked down and saw it was a piece of paper.
"Wha-"
"Its my phone number, " Senji told him. "I meant to give it to you before we left, but I didn't have time." Lelouch nodded and put the paper in his jean pocket.
"Thank you..."
"Call me if you need anything ok?" Lelouch nodded again. "Well I better get going, I'm sure you want to see your husband." The raven nodded and watched as Senji walked away. He felt he should say something, but he couldn't think of what. Lelouch himself then turned around and walked up to his house and to the door. His heart hurt.
Why did he feel like he made the wrong choice?
And I'll end the chapter here.
I hope you all enjoyed and did don't hate me too much.
I'll try harder to update, not only this, but my other stories, as while.