Heroes in the Dark

by Iffondrel

Taking place during the School Trip Arc, we center on Tokoyami in the aftermath of Dark Shadow's rampage. Villains wanting to capture Bakugou set their sights on Tokoyami, and the connection these two have had since fighting in the Sport's Festival will decide what'll happen to them after being brought over by Tomura's League of Villains, with devastating consequences for Tokoyami.

71. Chapter 71

Heroes in the Dark chapter 71

The rest of that night was a haze he couldn't escape, every step an exhausting feat that pushed him further and further. All the feelings of physical and emotional pain that plagued him refused to let up, and time passed in a way he couldn't quite describe. He wasn't entirely conscious of it, and the memories of descending from that roof, walking through the streets, and riding an almost empty subway back to the slums of society were practically erased from his mind the moment Dabi dragged his aching body onto that old couch in the strange yet familiar safety of the hotel room. His eyes were closed before his head even hit the pillow, blocking out the dim glow of the sky outside the boarded up window that was just beginning to lighten.

He was out like a light, sinking into the cushions with only a single fleeting thought on the edge of his mind: I'm so glad you're back. He thought he might've heard a response, bidding him a good night, but couldn't tell where it had come from – his internal thoughts or the outside world – and in his sleep-deprived state swiftly forgot it.

No dreams dared disturb his black-out state, but every now vague shapes would loom into the shadows of his head-space – slashing claws that made him flinch, eerie glowing eyes, and the flash of a red feather. Then they'd disappear, struck aside by the needy call of all-consuming slumber. It were as if night terrors threatened to close in on him, only to be chased away by some benevolent force guarding his mind.

Tokoyami had no way of knowing how long this went on for, only that by the time his bleary eyes opened up once more the lighting in the room had changed. A dusty orange seeped into the small space, flashing dully off of dismal furniture and fake granite countertops. A stiff breeze wormed its way in through the open gaps of the window, rustling his feathers, and he instinctively nestled his way deeper into the blanket. He closed his eyes again, his tired body still wishing for a world where he didn't need to be awake. Tokoyami kept still for several minutes, willing sleep to claim him again, but it wouldn't come, and in the end he was only ever staring at the back of his eyelids.

With a disappointed sigh, he decided to face the world, even despite how cruel and dirty it could be. Because after everything he couldn't allow that to matter to him. No, he still had to get up at the end of the day, regardless of… what even was last night?

Tokoyami pushed aside the blanket – he didn't recall covering himself with it before passing out – and shoved himself into a sitting position. With a pang of pain, he remembered his arm. Blood had seeped through the bandages a little, but at least it had stopped bleeding by now. He knew he'd had to change them soon, though, and that bothered him. Just because he'd spent the last month getting used to cleaning the wound he'd sustained from that damned yakuza, didn't mean that he was ready to take on the responsibility of yet more scars. It was nauseating.

Then we gotta do better at not getting them, cawed a tiny voice in his head.

"Dark Shadow!" Tokoyami gasped with a start, a jolt running through him.

Before another thought could be said between them, Tokoyami became aware of rustling coming from the other room. Oddly enough, Dabi had left his door open, and after a few moments his dark silhouette appeared in the doorway. "Good, you're awake," he said easily enough. His voice didn't carry much emotion, but Tokoyami could see the way his shoulders drooped as if he were letting go of building tension.

Tokoyami sank back into the lumpy comfort of the couch, leaning his head back into the cushion. "Have you been here all day? How unlike you." His words felt slurred, his tongue like weighted lead.

Dabi crossed over to the kitchen bar and seated himself in one of the chairs there, facing Tokoyami from across the room. The distance separating them was small but significant. "Don't get the wrong idea," he huffed indignantly. "I didn't have much going on today, so I figured I'd just wait around here. You're not the only one trying to optimize this space."

Tokoyami stared up at the ceiling, a shuttered breath leaving him. He wasn't in the mood to get involved in a potentially stressful conversation right now, but it already felt inevitable. "I figured you wouldn't leave me alone, despite it all. What do you ask of me?" he croaked miserably, voice hoarse.

He couldn't see what Dabi was doing, but he could hear the lanky man shifting on the chair in the silence of the room before deciding to break it. "I just wanna know how you're doing after last night." A beat passed. There was more. "That and… I figured you'd have questions."

Tokoyami felt his thoughts and feelings clogging his mind, surfacing and resurfacing. The fleeting images from the fringes of sleep drifted ceaselessly in the back of his mind, and he squeezed his eyes shut to rid himself from them. A hiss from Dark Shadow cleared his head just enough to refocus. Tokoyami brought his hands to his head, grinding his palms into his temple as he felt a headache coming on. Despite his best efforts, a pitiful groan escaped him. I don't want to even be seen like this.

Rustling in the kitchen. The sound of a faucet. Tokoyami kept his eyes trained skywards as long as he could, as if he could still see those dismal stars. Then he was aware of Dabi crossing the floor to stand just a few feet away from him. "Hey."

Ignoring it no longer, Tokoyami brought his beak down to stare level with the villain. Only to be met with a glass of water being shoved towards him. Tokoyami's hand shot out to accept it without a second thought, snatching it from Dabi, and he drank greedily from the straw provided for his convenience. He only stopped when the glass was drained, ending it with a gasp for air. His chest heaved, but once he set the glass down on the ground and took a moment to regain his composure he felt significantly better.

Focus focus focus.

Focus?

Yeah. Just like that.

Tokoyami had almost forgotten what it was like to have Dark Shadow voicing things in his head. Sometimes, sure, the secondary voice of his quirk might've resulted in his thoughts getting cluttered, but he was also essential in helping him sort through them.

With a deep breath to settle his nerves, Tokoyami took off the ruined hoodie, careful not to disturb the bandages on his arm. Looking at them closer, it was evident that the bandages were wrapped a lot neater than anything he'd managed to pull off when wrapping his own wounds. Dabi probably has a lot of practice… With a shake of his head, he draped the coat over the side of the couch, where it would remain until he figured out what to do with it. Then he untied the laces of his boots and kicked them off. He'd fallen asleep with everything still on, and his blood and sweat stained clothes had done nothing to better the condition of the couch.

Tokoyami started slow, every word as slowed and filled with hurt as the little movements that sent sparks of pain jolting through him. "Of course I have questions… I always have. I just don't ever expect someone like you to answer them."

Dabi stirred next to him, lounging into a more comfortable position as if he expected to be here for a while. "Oh yeah? Don't act innocent – you have plenty of secrets yourself, and then feel like you need to know everything so you go looking where you're not supposed to. Didn't anyone ever tell you to keep your beak out of other people's business? Fucking snoop."

Tokoyami winced, but kept his voice level. "As if you give me much choice. And rest assured, I don't get very many of those."

"Oh yeah?" Dabi drawled snidely. "Last night you chose to run off when I told you to ride, and where did that land you? Into the arms of your hero? How laughable."

Tokoyami clenched his hands into the feathers of his head, the memories fresh and swirling like sludge in a glass that was ready to overflow. One thing at a time. He really wanted to continue their conversation about that noumu and why he was in charge of such a monster. He wanted to keep chastising Dabi for leaving him in that room so that he could watch him struggle.

A gentle presence tapped on the barricade around his disjointed thoughts, and Tokoyami calmed down while he and Dark Shadow sorted through them. First things first…

You want to know about him.

…Why did it have to be that person.

"Is… the Wing Hero working with the League?" He felt sick asking that question, but it was all he had. Thoughts of betrayal and regret threatened to drown him if he didn't take it slow.

Dabi barked a harsh laugh. "Nope. Just me."

"Whyyy?" Tokoyami hissed, whipping his head around to state at the villain in unrestrained dismay. "He's the number two hero!"

"Funny how that works, isn't it? But really, you shouldn't assume that just because someone is a hero that they have noble intentions."

"Dabi." Tokoyami's said his name with a harsh edge. He wasn't about to let the man start on his monologue about Stain, because it could head in that direction all too easily. Any other time, maybe – he was fascinated by Dabi's worldview, and had to admit that some of the things he said were compelling at times, albeit a bit scary – but right now he needed answers. "How do you know him?"

Dabi's smile faded, and Tokoyami could tell that he was serious about this now. "Hey. He approached me, alright? I'm out there scouting new members for the League, but no way in hell would I let a guy like him in."

"Then how…?"

"I'm not letting him get too close for now. I got no reason to trust someone who can fake a smile that easily." Tokoyami's heart sank. That wasn't what he wanted to hear, but he knew in his heart that it was true. Dabi kept going. "I have a few guesses for what his intent might be, but the most important thing is that he's interested in getting into the villain circle – says there's too many problems with hero society, and he wants to do something about it. Sounds valiant, right? For all I know, he could be as bad as they come." Another smile began to play over his burned lips, this one more sinister than the last. "But hey, it's been interesting so far."

Tokoyami let that hang in the air before pushing for more answers. This still wasn't sitting right with him. Hawks was a damn good hero, and Tokoyami recalled the memory of how honored he'd felt to have been scouted by someone of such high esteem. That is… until the work study actually began. "He's… gotten familiar with you, I take it?"

"If by that you mean he knows better now than to leave his little feathers behind, then yeah," Dabi said, reminding him of the harmless feather that had made its way inside this room for a few brief moments. At the time it had given him hope. Now it made him feel nauseous just thinking about it. "It's nothing elaborate – he wants to meet the League, so I tell him he needs to build trust with me first. We meet, arrange a few little plans, and he gives me a good amount of "classified" hero info in return for the bare minimum. It works just fine for me – he probably doesn't even realize how desperate he comes off. Just a pesky little hero wanting to know what the evil villains are up to," Dabi sighed, his voice dripping with disgust.

Tokoyami thought about that. By now his hands had left his head and were worrying through the blankets, clenching and unclenching as if desperate to hold onto something more concrete. He was about to ask why Hawks would want to know more about the League… but he doubted Dabi had a very good answer to that. After all, when he thought about it, Hawks had always wanted to learn more about the League. It bubbled up in his chest, the old feelings of frustration and resentment he'd felt the first time he'd had the dissatisfaction of standing inside the pro hero's office. It had been less of an interview and more of an interrogation. The winged hero had been determined to know every last detail about the USJ attack – and more specifically the League of Villains. That felt like so long ago. Back then, Tokoyami had left the office feeling thoroughly cheated. A promising opportunity to work alongside the third highest rated pro hero had devolved into a bitter memory, only tainted further by last night's events. Now that hero had gone up in ranks… and in Tokoyami's absence, he'd turned to primary sources to get his precious information. I… should be mad. But all I feel is…

"That's really all there is to it," Dabi said. "That being said, you were pretty rattled when I found you. Gotta say, I was surprised! I wasn't looking for him to get involved, though I already know he likes to keep an eye out for villain activity. It's in his job description and all that." His eyes narrowed into icy slivers, watching him intensely. "So when I saw you latched onto him like that, I had to ask do these two know each other? Well, can you tell me?"

…Betrayed. Tokoyami took a harsh gulp. His throat had run dry again. "Of course I know Hawks – he's the new number two hero, the youngest and fastest to ever get so high on the charts. Everyone knows him. And… maybe I admired him a bit. Birds of a f-feather and all that," he managed to choke out, his guts twisting.

"Well, you know what they say, right? Never meet your heroes, because they're sure to disappoint you."

Tokoyami squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't stop thinking about the way Hawks had so easily handed him back to Dabi. Why did it have to be him? There's more to this then what he can see; he has to believe that Hawks is up to something for the good of society. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

"Dabi," Tokoyami whispered. "Please don't."

"Why not?" Dabi pressed. "Do you trust him?"

Yes. "No."

Dabi's eyes gleamed with the same blue fire as his quirk. "Then maybe he'll make a good villain after all." There it was. Dabi still looked to him to be a judgment of character. If he didn't trust someone to be the hero they promised to be, then that only left the alternative. If Dabi didn't trust Hawks, it was because he was too much of a hero. But if Tokoyami didn't trust him, it had to be because he was showing a side that was villainous. At least… that's how it should be.

Dabi leaned back looking awfully content with himself. "I think we can leave it at that. I answered your questions, right? I'm tired of talking about that guy. Now it's my turn—"

Shit.

Maybe it won't be too bad?

"—how's Dark Shadow?"

…Oh.

Hey! That's not a bad question!

Tokoyami thought about that for a moment. "I…" Wait. How are you doing? Tokoyami asked his quirk, concern rising in his chest. There hadn't been nearly enough time to talk to his quirk since he came back as he would've liked. Their walk coming back to the room had been too focused on just making it through the dirty streets, so he hadn't actually had a chance to catch up with the shadowy presence dwelling within him.

Only as good as you are, his quirk sniffled in response, and Tokoyami felt a weight of emotions fill his head. He tried to shake them off, but when the sudden rush of feelings threatened to spill over he groaned.

Stop it, it's fine. We're getting through this, so you don't have to –

A snarky voice from outside his head. "I take it that's a "no" then?"

Tokoyami shot a seething glare at Dabi, who shrugged apathetically in response. Why do you even care? You just wanted my quirk back because it'd be useful to you.

Hey! At least he asked. Go on, tell him how I – how you are! Because he's the only one listening! Nobody else, not even Hawks –

"Dark Shadow's doing fine now."

Fumikage! His quirk screeched at him, and Tokoyami grit his teeth to bear through the ringing in his head. He forgot how loud it could be.

Dabi eyed him coolly. He didn't look very convinced. But Tokoyami had given his answer – even if it wasn't the best, it felt like a fair trade-off for the frustrating answers that Dabi had decided to give him. And really, who was Dabi to complain? That was probably the answer he was wanting to hear anyway. No need to make things more complicated.

"Then can I see him?"

Tokoyami blinked. "Eh? Uh, he's still weak, so I don't really think…"

Let me out!

Tokoyami squirmed with guilt, feeling the heat rising under his feathers. "Okay, fine!" he barked louder than he meant, making Dabi jump. He opened the mental gates that kept his quirk tethered to him and quietly willed Dark Shadow to manifest in his physical form.

He appeared in a fuzzy little haze linked to his abdomen, taking the empty space on the couch between Tokoyami and Dabi.

"Ah, shit that's just sad. Weren't you a lot bigger just a few hours ago?" Dabi asked, shoulders slumping in disappointment.

The manifestation of darkness was barely the size of a sock puppet, even in the dimming light. "Rude," Dark Shadow sniffled, tears already brimming under his sad yellow eyes. "I was spreading myself thin for that! And it huuurt!"

"Dark Shadow," Tokoyami warned quietly. He cared for his quirk immensely and didn't like seeing him in pain – of course he did! – but with his track record he didn't want his quirk to act too vulnerable in front of a person like Dabi. The man knew what it was like for his quirk to be strong, to support them in a battle against his blue fire, and that had always been something of a reassurance. What would Dabi think of a quirk that fluctuated so much that ever after all their training it could still be reduced to this?

Dabi scratched the back of his head, maybe actually looking apologetic. "Yeah, that was pretty mean. In my defense, you were making Tokoyami sad. And maybe it felt weird not seeing you around. I always associate you two together." That's right. In the early stages of his time with the League, Dabi enforced the idea of keeping Dark Shadow out and active for as much as possible in the hopes that their bond would improve. And it had been nice for a while… until it had been ruined by the hell of that fight.

Dark Shadow quickly picked up on Tokoyami's emotions and squirmed uncomfortably. In this small form, Tokoyami couldn't see anything like a scar or hole in his quirk, like what he thought he'd seen against the noumu. It must've been his imagination.

"I wanted Fumikage to get better!" Dark Shadow cawed, spilling his feelings. "But it's not happening, and that's making it harder to heal!"

Dabi's eyes flicked from the little shadow to Tokoyami, who averted his gaze like he'd been caught doing something bad. "Is that so? Can't imagine how hard that must be. Was a month of sitting around in this place really not enough? Did you guys even talk once?"

They both were quiet after that. Well… there might've been one time but that was…

Fumikage. Don't think about it.

Tokoyami locked eyes with his quirk, who was looking at him sadly, and the silent communication petered out to be left with the rawest form of emotion. No words, just understanding.

Dabi noticed. "Heeey, don't look so glum, little guy. It's been a while, so you can just take it easy for now."

"I don't believe you," his quirk croaked, speaking honestly.

A shrug. "Yeah. You're right. You need to look more like you did before this mess. It'd be nice if you could take it easy, but it's more likely that if you don't get stronger soon that you might just end up dead."

"That's what I've been saying," Tokoyami simmered. "That's why I don't understand why you went quiet for so long. You've never done that!"

Dark Shadow wilted like an unwatered flower.

"Hey, don't be mean," Dabi snarked, leaning towards the upset quirk. "You look like you wouldn't hurt a fly, what's up with that?" he teased, pointing a figure at the little shadow hanging in the air.

"You're mean!" Dark Shadow hissed, swiping an angry claw at Dabi's finger. He pulled back quickly while amusement danced in his eyes. "Everyone here has been so cruel, I can't stop thinking about it! So much happened and nobody even wants to talk about it, and I'm tired! It's just getting bottled up and it hurts so bad!"

Tokoyami kept his eyes trained on his fists, clenched in his lap. He didn't want to look anywhere else, but he could tell that Dabi was staring at him. "You didn't have to say all that," Tokoyami whispered miserably.

Dabi processed that quickly. Tokoyami would never understand how he could reach these conclusions so fast. "This has to do with the things that happened at Overhaul's base, doesn't it? The things you never tell me about."

When Tokoyami didn't respond, Dark Shadow hissed in frustration. His quirk couldn't be the one to say anything, because that would just make it more difficult. Tokoyami wasn't ready to relive those memories again, even if it meant being open and vulnerable for the first time in so long, something that he felt – knew – needed to happen.

He could feel that Dark Shadow was disappointed. He decided he could live with that a little longer.

Tokoyami brushed aside the question. "Dabi, where am I even supposed to go from here?"

"Well, for starters, I think you might be asking the wrong person."

Tokoyami glared at him angrily, his feathers beginning to fluff up indignantly. Dark Shadow pouted.

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Okay, whatever, but it's on you if you end up listening to the shitty advice I have." And then he leaned forward on the couch, enough that Dark Shadow drifted closer to Tokoyami. "You ask me where you're supposed to go, and you don't really have a lot of choices right now, I'll admit. Last night you chose to go to the roof for whatever reason. So I guess the only good response is that you should go where you think you'll be most comfortable, right? Right now, you're not with the rest of the League or Mr. Ujiko, and I think that should count for something. But maybe you would've been happier if you had stayed on that roof, or if an actual hero had saved you. That didn't happen and now you're stuck here again."

Dabi got up from the couch, leaving Tokoyami to dwell on those words. He picked up the cup that had been left on the floor and began walking back to the kitchen.

Dark Shadow tilted his head to the side while Tokoyami mulled over those words. I… really did want to be saved. But I don't think I even know anymore what that entails. Everyone will want to ask questions and interrogate me like Hawks did when I interned under him, but it'll be worse because there's so much to say and I just don't want to say it.

You miss being a hero.

I'm still a hero! Just in a bad spot. That's all. I can handle that though.

But you haven't been.

Tokoyami was startled from his thoughts when another glass of water was presented to him, which he accepted much more gingerly this time, sipping from the straw slowly.

"If you want something, just ask. No way in hell am I gonna promise anything, but it won't hurt you and maybe there'll be some things I can do," Dabi said, thinking his words over carefully. "If you feel trapped by the environment around you, then try making the most of the connections you do have. Now that you have this option, take the time to talk to Dark Shadow, and make sure you listen to him in turn. And if you're feeling brave, talk to me too. You know where to find me."

Tokoyami set the water aside with a sigh as Dabi turned back towards the kitchen where he began rummaging through old pots and pans.

Dark Shadow drifted closer to him with worried eyes and Tokoyami rested his hand on top of his head, feeling the little shadows shift under his fingers. It was like petting a spectral cat, and they took equal parts of enjoyment from it.

Can we get better from now on? Tokoyami asked.

His quirk whimpered. That's up to you. Just so long as you put in the effort to improve, I'll try to be by your side. But you need to know how unfair you were when we're supposed to be a team.

…I'm sorry.

I'm not so sure you are.

Tokoyami grimaced, setting his hand back on the couch much to his quirk's chagrin. "I did what I thought I had to back then, but at your expense," he whispered aloud.

Dark Shadow became smaller, his form teetering on the edge of physicality before dispersing back into his body. I know.

"Don't you want to talk about it?"

A yawn in his head. I'm tired. So are you. Take care of yourself and we can talk about it later.

Tokoyami solemnly agreed. They had time for this. Whatever hardships awaited them over the horizon, they could figure it out in due time. He just had to believe that.