Heroes in the Dark: Recollection of Shadows
Midoriya was beginning to piece together a narrative.
An awful, grief-stricken chain of events that began months ago in a forest filled with toxic gas and lit with blue fire. It was a knowledge that had come to haunt him again and again, and every time he thought the world had gone quiet about the whole thing, he found himself in the wake of a rude awakening that cemented his shortcomings.
That night was one that haunted him, when he was running on adrenaline. He'd desperately lunged towards the portal… and called out for Kacchan. The last thing he'd heard from the students being taken against their will was a strangled apology from the bird-headed boy. And perhaps that had been his first mistake, one in a long line of sorrows.
He'd done what he could. He wanted them both back, so that they could continue being his classmates, his friends! But his greatest error was that he hadn't thought enough about Tokoyami – maybe didn't know him enough. Maybe… didn't understand how unstable the whole thing was, even after seeing Dark Shadow's wrath in the forest firsthand and standing in the midst of all the damage it wreaked.
The whole time he'd been working to formulate a plan to rescue them, it had never even occurred to him that it had been created to favor Kacchan – his childhood friend – more. And never did this bias hit as hard as it did when he'd finally made it onto the scene, watching the greatest hero of their time fight it out with a villain that couldn't possibly be human. Midoriya had been driven by fear and ambition to get them back, all the while listening to the news outlets drilling the school over how violent Kacchan had acted in the past, and how investigations should be carried out to figure out more about the extent of damage in the forest. Nobody wanted to admit that all those toppled trees and claw-ravaged grounds were the responsibility of the student who got third place in the Sports Festival. Nobody wanted to see the bigger picture of what exactly the villains had gotten their hands on.
So when All Might… when he entered that fight with ugly scars already torn through his costume, there had been questions. And there had been pain. The whole world had grieved to see their hero fall. And none had grieved as much as Midoriya, to see his number one hero, his mentor, his…!
It had been a rough period to follow. Very few people new about his relationship with All Might and the passing on of One for All. The personal turmoil it had put him through had been overwhelming, almost entirely consuming. But worst still is that it wasn't the end of their grievances. Speculation aside, and regardless of whether or not All Might could've survived the fight had it not been for the way events had panned out, there was still another regrettable result of that night. And that was the knowledge that Tokoyami was still alive and still trapped in the hands of the League of Villains. Midoriya very quickly realized that these grievances weren't just his own – far from it. He may have been mourning the loss of his teacher and hero, and be left with the hollow feeling of guilt that he hadn't done more to rescue his friend, but that had only been the start of what was only becoming a greater issue. There were others that were seeing the impact of everything that had gone wrong.
The first most noticeable change had been Kacchan. Something had been off about him ever since he was captured by the villains, which was understandable. But then his grades started to slip, and he failed the license exam, and he got… quieter. So something was definitely wrong, and it went beyond mourning the passing of a hero.
It had all come to a head when Kacchan led him to Ground Beta so that they could "talk about his quirk."
Kacchan was smart – and nosy and temperamental and so many other things that made him the person he was. He was amazing, in truth, but sometimes Midoriya wondered if he thought the same. Despite his claims of becoming the next number one hero and bragging about his power, there was a certain level of insecurity he couldn't help but see from certain angles.
A talk had turned to a fight. A fight had turned to a breakdown of emotions he hadn't been ready for – Kacchan's guilt and sorrow spilling over… the responsibility he held for All Might's death… what had happened to Tokoyami…
But before they had reached any kind of resolution, Aizawa had interrupted. Since then, Midoriya wasn't entirely sure if they were on the same page. It felt like there was still a divide between them. But Midoriya had spilled the secret of One for All to him, unable to hold back with his pillar of support dead, and had entrusted the secret in good faith. It was awkward and miserable, but they'd had to move on from that, or else there'd be no going forward for either of them.
Aoyama had approached him, too, albeit in a more subdued manner. Midoriya wished he could've paid more attention to his friends and classmates, and to the teachers and adults in his life, but so much had been stuck in his mind and there was a lot he had to deal with in the wake of that event that had shaken the world. He didn't think his usually so spontaneous classmate would have so many troubles himself.
Midoriya had been shocked and troubled by how much blame Aoyama of all people had put on himself… Being his dorm neighbor, Aoyama had come onto his balcony and knocked on his door late one night. It'd taken everything in him not to run off, but Midoriya had eased him into a conversation before he could flee back into his room. As the truth came out in bits and pieces, through uncertain stammering and heartache, Midoriya felt like he was understanding more about Aoyama than he ever had before.
"Oui, I sometimes wonder if I'm cut out to be a hero, and that night… the guilt…"
No. No no, Aoyama not you too! "A-ah, you shouldn't feel bad about what happened! It was nobody's fault." That's what it needs to be. I have to believe that it's nobody's fault.
Aoyama had hid his face behind a poised hand. "You can't convince me otherwise," he lamented with a distressed sigh. "I know my crimes. I succumbed to my fears and stayed hidden, and because of that… two of our valued classmates..."
Midoriya, standing on the balcony in the dead of night while he watched his friend grow remorseful, couldn't keep the desperation out of his voice. "You were scared. We all were."
"And yet I played the damsel in distress, non? Let me admit to my folly, if only to ease the burden of the guilt I kept to myself."
"A-Aoyama…"
He had looked out to the sky on that night, watching the way the stars had twinkled so brilliantly. "If I had shot my laser at the villains, do you think things could've been different? Could I have shined like a hero? Saved a life?" From there the night had drifted into quiet ruminating and talk about quirks. All things considering, it was a much more peaceful – and somber – conversation than the one he had had with Kacchan.
Later on as the term progressed, Midoriya and the class had approached him with the idea of participating in the cultural festival in a truly spectacular way: by being the disco ball. His eyes had glimmered, but he'd nervously shot the idea down, saying that he might not be fit for such a responsibility. The class had let the idea go quickly, albeit with disappointment. But Midoriya had persisted, reassuring him that he'd be there to hold the rope and that he deserved to shine… even if he still had doubts in his own ability. Everyone deserved a chance, really, and it was troubling to see his classmates still so downtrodden following the successes and failures of their plans.
Aizawa had warned the class when they had first moved into the dorms that if Midoriya's rescue mission hadn't been a success, that they all would've been expelled with the exception of the students who didn't know about the plan. But… they hadn't succeeded. Not in the way they should've. And maybe that had been a lot of pressure for the five students that had headed the rescue mission to save Kacchan and Tokoyami, but that was to be expected. After everything they'd tried to do, they had still ended up losing a student. Aizawa… had been understandably furious. But Midoriya could tell that the teacher hadn't wanted to undermine their victories, and everyone else was still upset about Tokoyami's absence.
Every day that they had to sit in that classroom with an empty seat was one where everyone could only reflect on their shortcomings. It was an unpleasant time of grief. Maybe that was why Aizawa had managed to pull some strings to bring Shinsou into their class. It was weird at first seeing Tokoyami's seat filled by someone else, and it gave off the impression that they really didn't know when – or if – Tokoyami would return. But it had breathed a bit more much-needed life into the class, which had probably been Aizawa's intention. That and… well, everyone agreed that Shinsou deserved to be enrolled in the hero division. Apparently he'd been training really hard since gaining some attention in the Sports Festival, to the point where he was seen fit to join the other heroes in the raid on Overhaul's headquarters.
There was still a lot of sore feelings leftover from that mission. It had since been deemed a success due to the retrieval of their main target, Eri, but everyone involved would be amiss to ignore the sacrifices that had been made.
Mirio's quirk had been robbed from him. All that strength and potential gone right before he could break into the field as a stand-out hero. It was a somber moment, and it had caused Midoriya to question his own ability as a hero – whether or not he could be justified in passing on One for All. There were so few people he could confide these thoughts to…
But once injuries sustained from that mission had mostly healed and people began getting discharged from the hospital, there was at least some clarity. The recovery period was rough, for some more than others, and yet by the end of it he still had someone he could look to for guidance.
Sir Nighteye had made it through that deadly fight with his life, which was something he later admitted even he hadn't seen coming. Regardless, a lot of changes had been made to make way for the future – as unforeseen as it was. He'd lost his left arm in the fight, a noticeable loss for sure, but it could've been worse. After all, he hadn't been the one to be impaled…
Remembering the last time he'd seen Tokoyami and Dark Shadow always left him feeling queasy, like a cursed memento he couldn't rid himself of. His friend's fate was even more ambiguous than the last time they'd lost their chance to save him, and it weighed heavy on his conscious. I couldn't have known what he was doing down there. We were… we were just told to expect the worst if he ended up being an obstacle. Instead he fought so hard, like a hero…
Nighteye had confided in him that Tokoyami took the attack from Overhaul that was supposed to kill him in his visions. But his foresight wasn't able to predict an outcome quite like this. It was both a relief and somewhat troubling. He was able to chalk it up to two variables that had altered his sight: Eri's rewinding quirk, and Tokoyami's sentient quirk. Between those powerful forces, he didn't have everything as set in stone as he'd thought. It was a relief. Midoriya didn't know what he would do if he'd lost another mentor, so soon after the heart-wrenching loss of All Might.
Nighteye continued to serve his important role as a mentor, guiding Midoriya in his training as both a hero and the sole holder of One for All. While Nighteye could never know as much about the quirk as a wielder with firsthand experience, he made up for it with his time spent as All Might's sidekick. He was… something of an All Might fanboy, which Midoriya could relate to. More importantly, he was an experienced fanboy, so he knew things about All Might and One for All that even Midoriya wasn't aware of.
Nighteye had temporarily suspended his work at the Nighteye agency, leaving it in the capable hands of his sidekicks while they dialed back on cases and sustained themselves on compensation from the Hero Commission. Mirio was also no longer an intern there, though he was promised a position there should his circumstances change while his quirkless condition was still being investigated. That left Nighteye with one primary task as the months waged on – focusing on Midoriya's training. He wasn't in a good enough position for physical training, seeing as how he was still getting used to a prosthetic arm, but he was still hellbent on challenging Midoriya.
They were able to meet on school grounds. Nighteye had easily attained a pass that allowed him access – not so much as a teacher, but as a "conditional advisor" as far as school records were concerned. He was his mentor, yes, but there were just a couple faculty members that were aware of the training that Midoriya had previously been doing with All Might. With Nighteye, he couldn't afford to lose that again. So every so often they'd meet up to speculate on abilities and come up with ways that they could better utilize his quirk at its current power output. Sometimes this would result in them losing track of training while collective ideas were shot back and forth. Last time they'd had one of these meetings in a small clearing not far from the dorms, they'd reached the conclusion that he should be able to utilize long-distance attacks. They spent the rest of the morning trying to figure out how high the power input needed to be for it to create wind-based damage and then working to fine tune it from there.
Now they were meeting up again in the faint hours of morning before the sun had fully risen, only days before the festival was set to start. It had been a rush both in school and out, and everyone was getting excited for it. Midoriya dedicated as much time as he could to it… but his dance moves hadn't been enough to impress, and at the end of the day – or in this case, the beginning – he needed to focus on improving other abilities.
Nighteye watched from a short distance while Midoriya shot off experimental air attacks with flicks of his fingers. His face was a stony mask that judged his ability at every point, constantly comparing him to the strength that once lived in the late number one hero. Midoriya was fully aware of how that death had hurt him – how he'd known such a fate was destined to befall someone with such reckless tendencies. It was all the more reason why he felt obligated to be here, looking out over the last flame that had been inherited.
"Stop, stop," he sighed wearily, stepping forward through the wet grass. He wasn't worried about getting caught up in the attacks that Midoriya was trying to use. Nighteye was efficient when it came to using his foresight in situations like this. "You're going to hurt yourself if you continue like this."
Midoriya let his hand drop from its position in relief. It was beginning to bruise. It felt like he wasn't getting anywhere, though, and that troubled him.
"You're still not able to use these sorts of attacks while moving," Nighteye observed. "It's stifling your mobility – we can't sacrifice that, so clearly something needs to change." If there was one thing that Midoriya appreciated about having Sir as his mentor, it was that he was straightforward and talked in more technical terms.
Midoriya held his hand in its attack position, trying to visualize how he was supposed to go about this. "I think I have the basics down, but… isn't there some sort of secret to attacking with greater control?"
Nighteye opened his mouth to say something and then thought better of it. He contemplated the question before delivering a proper thought. Midoriya could see his brow knit together in thought behind his green and yellow bangs. "Well… it's more complicated than that. To the best of my knowledge, Toshi – All Might never had an issue like the one you face. He was able to use nearly full power from very early on, rather than struggle through these stages. Limitations like the ones you face are new to me, so your thoughts are as good as mine."
Midoriya grimaced. All Might started out quirkless just like me, and yet we couldn't have been any more different. It's just like I thought – he was a natural-born hero.
Before he could think much more on the expectations he sought to reach, a burst of movement erupted from the bushes. As if on instinct, Nighteye swiveled and caught it in his working hand, stopping the surprise projectile before it could get any farther. Midoriya jumped at the exchange. He forgot sometimes how quick Sir was to act, even while he was in a recovery period. Wait, was that his foresight at work or just his instincts?
While pondering this, the owner of the conundrum appeared from the bushes in hot pursuit of her device.
"Sorry! I hope nobody got hurt!"
"Hatsume?" Sure enough, the pink-haired engineer student freed herself from the shrubbery to retrieve her invention from Nighteye. She was covered in grease stains, and leaves clung to her dirty work clothes, but her smile was just as cheery and determined as ever. Midoriya recovered swiftly from the shock of seeing her here. "What are you doing here so early?" Shoot, I hope it doesn't look suspicious that I'm out here with Sir. Technically he's not supposed to be working…
"I sometimes come out here to test my babies!" she said. "So thanks for catching it! That baby's my compact third eye."
Nighteye handed it back to her. "You should be more cautious. This is no laughing matter." He said this with a straight face, but Midoriya could see the spark of amusement behind his glasses.
She shrugged in agreement before zeroing in on Midoriya. Her train of thought was never one to take a pause. "That's right – Midoriya!" She came up to him, uncomfortably close, and Midoriya took a step back. "About that new item you asked about – one of my babies just so happens to fit the bill! I can customize it just for you! Put in the request and it's yours!"
Midoriya perked up in surprise. "Huh? I didn't really need it until after the school festival…"
"Well just like how artists draw in their free time, a tinkerer tinkers!" she proclaimed, holding up her device proudly. It began fluttering away from her reach, and she followed after it, back into the bushes. Midoriya muttered a good-bye as she drifted out of sight, and sighed in relief when it was back to the two of them training in private.
Nighteye pushed up his glasses in contemplation. "Item? Ah yes, I saw you using those reinforced iron soles against Chisaki."
"N-no, this is just something I want to try out for a new move," he explained.
"I see," Nighteye mused. "I'm not one to use that sort of gear for my own profession, but I have knowledge of the subject. All Might was experienced with the use of them."
Midoriya's eyes stretched wide in surprise. "All Might used support gear? I didn't know that!"
Nighteye nodded sagely, fondly recalling his All Might facts. "He used to wear full armor sets that were designed to withstand his power at 20-30 percent. But as I remember, they were more designed for long-range attacks and didn't accommodate well for the more up-front brawling he was accustomed to. I don't think they ever lasted long because of that, though."
Midoriya got starry-eyed at the thought of his old hero suited in full support gear. He wished he could've seen it… there has to be documentation online! Though looking through old All Might info pages made him sad, it wasn't something he ever wanted to forget about. More than anything, it was a key to understanding his own quirk, seeing what did and didn't work for All Might when he was alive. The possibilities of what he could accomplish were endless, and at least with Nighteye at his side he was able to discuss this sort of stuff. It was a good way of getting promising feedback while they both worked how best to handle fanning the flames of One for All.
Midoriya pressed Nighteye for more info about support items and how he's seen All Might use them in the past, and they were able to reach a consensus on how best they could be used with his quirk and what they could expect for the future.
That's kind of how their whole training process had been. It made Midoriya relieved that there was a person like Nighteye here to help him in the absence of All Might. He's not sure what he would've done had he lost both of his mentors so soon after each other. He'd be lost.
They'd mentioned it on rare occasions since that mission… but that morning when they'd infiltrated Overhaul's base had truly been hell for them. For everyone involved. By the end of it, it felt like a miracle that it hadn't been worse. More realistically, they'd given everything they could just to reach the outcome that they had. It had meant that Eri was safe, which had been their main goal. It had meant that everyone had gotten out of it with their lives.
But still they couldn't bring back Tokoyami.
Midoriya remembered all too clearly the rushed exchange he was able to have with Tokoyami. Midoriya was hurt. All the pain and hardship he'd endured following All Might's death had gotten to him, and without knowing for sure if Tokoyami was truly friend or foe after so long with the villains… he couldn't help thinking that he'd spoken harshly back then. Words couldn't have described how relieved he'd been that Tokoyami was still alive, but in the midst of such an uncertain situation there never would've been enough time to communicate that.
Tokoyami had wanted to help in the fight against Chisaki.
Midoriya had told him that the best thing he could do was get out and turn himself into custody.
At the time it was the most sensible thing. If they had just managed to get out, then there would've been that chance to talk that he wished for. He could… he could know what happened in the League of Villains hideout, the things that Kacchan was so clearly keeping to himself. Maybe it was selfish that he wanted to know, but didn't he have that right after everything he'd lost?
When everything was said and done, it was hard to say how long it might be until he gets that chance – until he gets to speak with Tokoyami. When that battle had reached its end and the world had felt somehow unreal, they had lost sight of the student yet again. It was frustrating when his head had cleared amidst the wreckage and the heroes, Eri secure in his arms, only for Tokoyami to not be there. When it had been because of Tokoyami that he'd been able to finish that fight in the first place. Such a monstrous opponent like what Chisaki had made himself to be was not one he'd want to face alone. So when that creature of darkness had appeared from the chasm of the headquarter ruins, it had thrown him for a loop. He'd seen Dark Shadow – the docile shadow that followed in the student's wake – be used for all kinds of things. He'd seen it at its most destructive, too. So to be able to fight alongside a force like that had been an unexpected change of events. Especially given the condition that he was in…
The greatest mystery now was if Tokoyami had managed to survive after all of that. The news surrounding him was much more contained than the last incident they were involved in. The media had never received an affirmation about what exactly had happened in that part of town that morning. It was a secret mission, after all. But that meant that he hadn't heard anything regarding the "loose ends" leftover from that mission. Little to no coverage, sparse info about the League's movements following the incident, and even less affirmation about what had happened to Tokoyami. It was concerning at the least, and a glaring issue that he wished was being talked about more. Shinsou had been the last to see him alive, in the hands of the League. And not too long after that the League had pulled that stunt on the highway with Chisaki…
It had been a rough end to the mission. And he wasn't about to forget about that anytime soon.
When all was said and done, at least they were able to say that Eri had made it out just fine. He'd committed himself to visiting her as much as he could, which he did so gladly. And every time she was glad to see him. She called him by his hero name before he was even given the chance to properly introduce himself. As it had turned out, Tokoyami had already told her about him while they were confined to the underground hideout. The more he listened to the little girl talk, slowly but surely opening up about some of her experiences, the more he began to realize just how important to had been to her that someone like Tokoyami had been there, even if it had only been a few days.
He remembered the sadness in her eyes one day, while he was visiting her in the teacher's lounge between classes, when she'd said something that struck him with worry.
"I hadn't wanted him to get hurt… not like that," she'd mumbled.
Midoriya was quick to comfort her, fully aware that this sort of resignation might come up after everything she'd been through. "Eri, that's not on you though. Heroes look out for others and do everything they can so that people like you can be safe. That includes Toko – Tsukoyomi. He was very brave that day, and what he did I can only imagine was what he wanted to do."
But she'd looked away – almost guiltily – and that had left a pang in his heart. "N…no, before that. They told me what happened, and I wished they were lying. But Tsukoyomi was different, so I knew what they did was true. They said it was because of me. I think that's also true."
Midoriya wasn't sure how to respond, so he'd responded with the first thing that came to him. "Is he okay?" Which in hindsight was not the best thing to be asking a six year old girl, but he couldn't stop himself.
With her little hands folded in front of her, she looked like someone who'd seen far too much for a person her age. Midoriya remembered being her age. His biggest struggle back then had just been the fact that he didn't have a quirk. But the kind of troubles that someone like this had gone through was so much more than what anyone should have to go through. And knowing that made him worry all the more about just what the hell happened down there. To both Eri and Tokoyami.
"He's a hero… so I know he's strong. He has to be. He promised me that I'd see you again and that happened. He said he'd do what he could, and he did. He said he wanted me to live a happy life, and I want to. I just wish he was here for that," she murmured.
Midoriya steeled himself, not wanting to waver. "And he will," he promised. "You'll see him again. He's still out there, I just need to find him. And then everything will be alright." It was foolish. He knew it was, to be saying things like this without even knowing for sure what had befallen his classmate. It was a promise to himself, too, that he would do everything he could. Tokoyami was out there, still trapped in the hands of villains. They needed to have him back. He was a hero and needed to be told as much. Midoriya wanted the chance to thank him for his actions in Chisaki's base. For taking care of Eri. For saving Sir Nighteye from a gruesome ending. For being such a key part of their victory. He needed to know how much the good he was doing mattered.
Nighteye, once he was discharged from the hospital and was able to continue their training, had confided in Midoriya the impressions he'd gained from his first and only encounter with Tokoyami. He said that the student was reckless… much like plenty other U.A. students. But when Tokoyami had stood before him, taking that deadly attack, and had been reduced to a limp form in his arm, he had asked something that had stayed with him. Tokoyami had asked Nighteye if he could be a hero. Tokoyami was uncertain even after every act of heroism he could possibly accomplish. There was something so horribly, achingly familiar. It painted a picture he didn't know he would see, so many weeks after the Kamino incident.
Tokoyami… wherever you are, I know you're a hero. Nobody can convince me otherwise. So please… you have to stay strong and still be alive out there. I did everything I could to get Kacchan back. To rescue Eri. Now it's your turn.