Tokoyami watched the cityscape move past him through tinted windows as the car he rode in was escorted to UA. His parents were seated in the front, following the black car ahead that guided them through the winding streets while another brought up the rear. Taking up the rest of the back seat beside Tokoyami was a backpack of his belongings that his parents had brought him, as well as the box that Nighteye had given him. There was more of his old possessions stored on the trunk – objects he hadn't seen in a long time and didn't quite feel the same connection with anymore. He'd been given the chance to change out of the hospital garb and into his old clothes: a musty band t-shirt and black jeans, with a slightly oversized jacket resting loosely over his shoulders. How long had it been since he'd worn something so typical?
Tokoyami watched the buildings passing them by. There were a lot more broken windows and littered sidewalks than he remembered, especially for a part of the city that was typically more guarded. Weren't there supposed to be a bunch of hero agencies in the area? Not to mention, the central building of the HPSC was supposed to be in these parts – Hawks had pointed it out to him once before, during their internship. But that had been nearly a year ago, and his memory was hazy. Perhaps this part of town wasn't so highly regarded after all. It reminded him much more of the heroless streets where Dabi had kept him, in that desolate hotel room that had been his home for a few solemn months.
Heroless. Yes, that was it. There weren't nearly as many out and about as there should've been, especially after such a critical upheaval. Where were they, now that so many villains had been exposed? I thought the heroes won the battle. That's what… that's what it was all for, right? So then where are they now?
Dark Shadow coiled and uncoiled anxiously in his head. They… probably need to rest just like anyone else. It makes sense that there'd be a period of unrest after everything that happened.
The reputations of Japan's top two heroes have quite literally gone up in flames. That will be a difficult thing to bounce back from.
The drive went by in almost constant silence. His father had always been a man of few words, but even his mother was unusually quiet, even if she did try every now and again to break the ugly spell of disquiet. "It may seem rather abrupt, but a very nice dorm has already been picked out for you. Isn't that nice, dear?" she said, begging for a response.
Tokoyami closed his eyes. The passing sights were beginning to induce nausea. "That's where all the other students are, correct? So that they're safe."
He couldn't see his mom's face from the back seat, but he could hear the worry in her voice. "Y-yes. It came a bit late, but, ah, they wanted to be sure that no other students would… would be targeted by villains." Tokoyami didn't have anything to say to that. How could he, when so much had already happened? His mom, bless her heart, took his silence as a sign to keep going, as if he were but a chick in need of reassurance. "But don't you worry! It might feel like a strange environment to be in, but you won't be alone! We'll be there for you, as much as we can. All the parents, actually – they'll be on campus, in the new building they're constructing. Isn't that great?"
"…If that's for the best, then so be it," Tokoyami mused.
As the streets became more familiar and he spotted the looming shape of UA rising in the distance, Tokoyami began compiling everything he'd had and ever will say good-bye to. His old home, his old life. Past friendships, past lessons, and fleeting moments of security. He might have to turn his head the other way if he was going to keep moving forward. In the past, the sight of UA's magnificent building might've meant more to him: a symbol of hope, of learning, of potential. But those feelings were noticeably absent now, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to properly muster them ever again. Not with the memories he had and the scars he bore. He hated to think that, after all this time, the people he cared about could so easily believe that things would be better, simpler, now that he was "back." But that wasn't quite right, and he wished not to lie to them, or force something that couldn't be fully realized.
UA was not Tokoyami's home. If he had any chance of being a hero, then it wouldn't be like this.
He only hoped the others would understand.
The car ahead of them stopped at the front gates, and after a moment opened to let them in. Tokoyami and Dark Shadow craned their heads to take in all of the grounds stretched before them – so different from their first time entering the premises. He'd biked this path so many times before to reach class. How finite, it seemed, that this path swept past him now at such a rapid pace.
There was a new building he didn't recognize, with a near identical one finishing up construction in the near distance. He surmised that these were the dorms that were constructed as a security measure – too late to have any lasting impact on him. The other building, in that case, would be the ones meant for the parents, since the school could no longer promise the safety of the students' loved ones now that so many villains had faced them. Tokoyami would've thought that most of those villains in the war would be behind bars, but it was better to be safe than sorry. He could think of a few that had made it out from under the heroes' radar, and they weren't the kind to be trifled with.
"It'll be so nice to have you back," his mom sighed. Then, after a moment of consideration, her tone turned concerned. "It… is good to be back, isn't it?"
Tokoyami gave a strained smile so that his parents had something to look at in the rearview mirror. "Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way."
The trio of cars came to a stop in front of the main dormitory doors. Their escort stayed in their vehicles, but Tokoyami's parents took the initiative and climbed out, and Tokoyami followed suit.
"I'm home," Tokoyami mumbled, the words feeling weak and hollow as he looked up at the cement façade of the UA dorms.
A hand came to rest on his right shoulder, causing an involuntary wince despite the amount of care that was attempted. His father peered down at him, his thin mouth pressed into a concerned frown. "I know it won't be the same, but perhaps by staying here some wrongs can be righted."
Tokoyami didn't have anything to say to that. He just gave a curt nod and followed after his mother, who was unloading the trunk.
"We packed what we could, but we might have to make a few trips," she explained wearily, separating out his possessions. "Most of this stuff is yours – I figured you'd want to get settled in first, but me and your father will be right over the hill! It's all such short notice, you know? So we all need a bit of adjustment! And, um, if it takes some time, that's okay! So just… hang in there, okay" She turned around with a heavy box cradled in her arms labeled with his name.
"Please, allow me to carry that for you," came a quiet voice from behind them. Tokoyami swiveled on his heel, relieved to find Shouji had come out of the building to offer his help. Behind him, some other classmates had emerged to help or spectate. Either way, they were here to welcome him.
This is…where I'm supposed to be.
His mother happily handed the box to him. "Oh! I remember you – you're Fumikage's friend! Thank you so much for being here for him," she said before going back to the trunk and reaching for more boxes. Then Koda came up, and Asui, and all too quickly there was nothing left to hand out. Except for the backpack and box of possessions that Sir had given him, which Tokoyami handled himself.
"Did you need an extra hand?" came a rough but not unkind voice.
Tokoyami just about hit his head on the car ceiling while grabbing his last few things. When he turned, knuckles white on the box and beak opened to say something, he found he wasn't ready to say anything at all. Bakugou was standing there, almost expectantly, as though anything could happen from this point forward. Did he want Tokoyami to meet him with relief? Or anger or disappointment or grief or any number of possible emotions that could be brought to the surface in that moment.
Bakugou stood uncertainly, his hand combing through his spiky hair while he looked down at the ground. He was covered in bandages from his gruesome exchange with Shigaraki, and even though they'd won the battle, a cloud of defeat seemed to surround the young student.
"Bakugou… you're here," Tokoyami said before he could stop himself. He silently cursed himself. Of course he's here! He was released from the hospital before I and… and he belongs here.
The start of a scowl began to emerge on his face. "I bet you got a lot of catching up to do… with everyone. So I won't keep you standin' out here like a deer in the headlights." His arm sagged to his side and he looked up, angry red eyes glinting with earnestness. "C'mon, let's get you to your new room – it's about time you showed up!"
Tokoyami felt his parent's eyes follow after him as he was guided into the building. They were talking with some of the staff; he'd have to find time to properly catch up with them, though judging by the uneventfulness of the drive he couldn't be sure if he had anything to say at all. What could he say, that wouldn't make it feel like just another interrogation? They were his parents. So they must know that they needed to be patient if they truly wanted their son back.
Nevertheless, his mother called out behind him. "We'll meet you here again later on, so take your time! We're still getting settled in ourselves, along with the other parents."
Tokoyami glanced back over his shoulder, nodding his head in understanding before stepping into his new home.
Murmurings of "welcome back" and "good to have you here" followed him as he entered the front doors of the dormitory. Tokoyami went along with it and offered weak smiles that he hoped masked just how uncomfortable he felt in this new space.
Shouji was keeping an elevator open for them, and Tokoyami followed Bakugou in with other classmates holding his possessions. "Things have changed quite a bit since you were last here," Shouji mumbled. "If it takes time to adjust, then that's fine."
Tokoyami stared down at the box clutched to his chest. For a "welcome home" type of occasion, why did it have to feel so glum?
"What? Aw, c'mon, we all can't wait to have you back in class!" Kaminari said brightly. "It's not the same, knowing you're supposed to have somebody else there!"
"Provided there's still room for me at all in the classroom, that is," Tokoyami remarked with a decisively dry laugh.
"Well… there were only two spare rooms for the boy's dorms, so you're not wrong there," Bakugou admitted.
The elevator dinged and opened up onto the fourth floor. Bakugou stepped out, and he tentatively followed behind them.
It's alright, Fumikage. This isn't enemy ground, so we don't gotta watch our step.
Tokoyami sighed inwardly. You can't lie to me, Dark Shadow. I can feel your uncertainty like a burning ray of light. We do need to be careful, maybe even more so here, lest we trip up and do something out of line.
But… nobody here wants to see you fail.
True as that may be, my ideals are fundamentally different than what they were before, and I've no doubt that actions I've made would be frowned upon if they came to light.
He had to push his troubles to the side as he was led down the hallway. It still smelled of new paint from its somewhat recent construction, though the walls had scrapes and dents in some places, and there were the unmistakable marks of explosions that had gone off in the past. Tokoyami took note of the names on the doors as he passed them: Shouji, closest to the elevator, followed by Kirishima's room, then Bakugou. He was grateful to be on the same floor as Shouji, but thinking of being so close to the other two was enough to make his head ache. Shouji was the kind of person that didn't ask questions and respected people's space, but the same could likely not be said for his other neighbors. If he could stay shut up in his room, then that would be ideal.
"The only other people on this floor are Uraraka and Ashido, but that's on the girl's side," Kaminari explained.
"You'll see everyone at some point or another if you hang around the common space on the first floor," Shouji added. "Though that's ultimately up to you."
Koda and Asui were waiting for them at the end of the hall, boxes waiting at their feet. Koda gave a friendly, albeit nervous, wave and Asui nodded towards the closed door. "And this one is yours," she said, holding up a room fob. Her expression turned apologetic as he accepted it from her. "There was supposed to be a faculty member here to meet you, but they've been short-staffed."
"Shinsou said he should be back with Aizawa sometime later today, though," Kaminari offered, ever the optimist. Tokoyami couldn't imagine that Aizawa would be in good enough condition to resume teaching duties, but he knew just how much that man cared for his students. Just knowing he was on his way might make all the difference to his students, who rallied behind his support.
Tokoyami awkwardly handled the box in his grasp while using the key to unlock the door, though when Koda offered a helpful hand, he pointedly disregarded it. He opened the door with a deep breath, uncertainty fluttering in the pit of his stomach. Above his head, Shouji helped prop the door open for him to enter, and Tokoyami stepped into his new room.
The curtains were drawn, sheltering the space from sunlight. The bed was already made, using his old black bedspread from home, and his throne-like chair was tucked neatly into the desk. His laptop, covered in peeling rock band stickers, sat on his desk, and a few other boxes sat unopened beside the dresser.
Koda followed after him, setting the boxes down gently at the foot of his new bed. "Your parents wanted to get as much ready as possible. Um, so that… this place might feel like home?"
Tokoyami set his own burden down on the desk, never truly taking his eyes off of it. He had an audience, after all. From behind, several other inquisitive stares from classmates waited at the threshold of the door. "The room may be small, but you may enter if you dare," Tokoyami said with what he hoped was a humorous air.
Jirou poked her head inside while Shouji and the others set their boxes down. "S-sorry – it must feel weird to be here, huh?"
"And so what if it does?" Bakugou snapped, making the people around him jump in surprise. "He belongs here!"
"I think Jirou was talking about the room," Kirishima said, coming up behind her. "We already had time to get settled in and make our rooms our own, you know?"
Shouji turned to Tokoyami. "Would you like any help putting things away? It might be easier that way."
Tokoyami hesitated, but ultimately shook his head. "I should be alright. It looks like the big things have already been arranged. I may be recovering, put this much I can handle."
His old classmates had wandered their way into his room, looking around the partially setup space as if there was some secret to uncover, all the while giving him some much-needed space. To Kaminari's credit, he did find something, tucked into the corner behind his bed. "Woah, you have a guitar! Do you play?"
Tokoyami came up behind him, smiling fondly at the starter instrument that he'd obtained years ago. He grabbed the old acoustic by its wooden neck, leaving marks in the layer of dust that had settled over it, and twanged a string. Out of tune.
Tokoyami sighed. "Yes, I play. I dare say I've even improved quite a bit since the last time I saw this old thing," he mused.
Kaminari's eyes gleamed in excitement. "Hey, same here! Maybe we can get together and play sometime? Er, you know, when your shoulder heals and all that."
"It would've been nice to have a more experienced guitarist back during the cultural festival," Jirou sighed.
"Hey, I think we did just fine," Bakugou huffed, eyes darting to the side. "Besides, we can just do better next year."
Tokoyami leaned his guitar back against the wall. "I can't say for certain if I'm one for the stage, but I'd like a reason to continue playing." Now that my old musical group is gone. Perhaps arrested, for all I know. And how strange it was to think that so many of the faces he'd grown so used to seeing during his time in the PLF were either locked up or wandering the streets as wanted criminals.
"See? I knew you'd fit back in just fine!" Kaminari said happily.
Tokoyami ruminated on that for all of three seconds. "Did anyone ever have any doubts?" Judging by the silence that greeted him, he had his answers. Nervous glances were exchanged over his head, and he sat down heavily on his bed. "That's fine. I understand the suspicion that must surround me."
"I-it's not like that, though!" Kirishima began, his gestures flustered.
"If at all possible… we would've gotten you back sooner," Shouji said sadly.
Asui looked down. "And we did try. At least… I'd really wanted to. I thought for sure that the heroes would bring you back. But that night, so long ago, when only Bakugou returned…" Why did she sound so guilty? It wasn't as if she were involved in that rescue attempt, back when it was only the League of Villains that they'd had to deal with. Nothing had gone right that night – except for Bakugou, who'd seized freedom.
"It's alright, Tsuyu. I know I didn't make it any easier, either," Tokoyami said quietly. She gave him a pained look, and he briefly flashed back to that moment in Overhaul's headquarters when she'd held onto him, wondering if he was going to bleed out from his injuries, only for him to use Trigger and jump back into the fray of battle. How terrifying it must've been back then for anyone involved. How foolhardy it must seem now, while feeling so horribly necessary back then.
"Can everyone stop sulking?" Bakugou grumbled. "He's back, alright? So we can all stop feeling sorry for ourselves." Tokoyami couldn't help noticing that he'd included himself in that equation, and wondered if that was intentional.
"Perhaps it might be best if we let Tokoyami get settled in for a while," Shouji advised. "If that's what you prefer?"
It was a silent question he asked: did he want the company or would he be more comfortable on his own?
"I'd like to rest for a bit," Tokoyami admitted. "But I'll be out and about later on." Sensing the uncertainty still hanging in the room, he went on. "I'll keep my door cracked, so don't be afraid to knock if anything comes up." Hoping that'd be enough to settle at least a few restless minds, he watched his classmates begin to file out of the dorm room. Last of all was Bakugou, his hot-headed demeanor fizzling out to be replaced with something far more demure.
"I'll be next door if you need anything."
And just like that, he was left to his own devices, if only for a while. In truth, he wanted nothing more than to curl up under his freshly washed comforter and sleep the day away while surrounded by his boxes of possessions. But that would have to wait. He wished he could say that there'd be plenty of time for that later, but he wasn't sure if that was true.
Tokoyami kept glancing at the door, open ever so slightly as promised. And it would stay that way if it meant reassuring his old classmates, but it still gave him the sensation of being watched.
Dark Shadow. Help me search the room.
There wasn't much to turn over, but Tokoyami gave a thorough scour of the space, checking behind furniture and under surfaces to see if there were any devices listening in on him. He checked behind the long trailing curtains, pleasantly surprised at the sliding glass door and the small balcony that led out from it. He stepped out, breathing in the spring-scented air, and gripped the railing with one steely hand while his quirk continued flitting around the room inside.
I'm not seeing any surveillance devices, Fumikage!
Hm. Then that might be a first in a very long time.
Maybe 'cause they trust us?
Or perhaps because they have enough eyes keeping watch on us as it stands.
Tokoyami watched the escort of black cars driving away like they were on their way to a funeral. And truthfully, how much time did he have left?
He returned inside, locking the balcony door and drawing the curtains back into place behind him. Back on his bed, he finally dragged the box back onto his lap and carefully opened it.
He gazed down upon its contents with a heavy heart that surprised even him, taking out each thing and spreading it out on the bed beside him. First was his vantablack cloak. Despite how dark it was, the splatters of blood left on it stood out to him clear as day. He ran his hand through the sleek fabric, locating the rips and tears that would need to be patched. Even though Dabi had initially ordered it to be flame-retardant, the extensive exposure to those flames during the fight had left its mark. It was burned on every edge, with soot falling away onto his fingertips, and it reeked of burnt flesh. For the most part, though, it had fulfilled its purpose. Compared to his past cloaks, which had been trashed through battle, this one still felt viable in combat.
Tokoyami folded it up and set it on the ground to wash and mend later, moving on to the next item. His gauntlets, their reinforced steel shining in the dim light. The arm guard was partially melted, and he'd need to fix the bands that kept them latched to his arms. But when he pointed them away from him and pressed the trigger, their gleaming blades slid out cleanly. Tokoyami felt his heart seize for a moment upon noticing the droplets of blood that were messily dried onto each claw. He'd tried not to use them to hurt others, and yet had still come out of that battle with blood on his hands. But back then, what else could he have done? And yet, he would have to use them again, maybe sooner than he would've hoped.
For now, he also set those aside. No point thinking about such bleak possibilities when everything still felt so uncertain.
Beneath the gauntlets rested a swath of red cloth. Of course. His memory in those last moments of the war were hazy, but how could he forget?
Tokoyami grabbed one end of Spinner's scarf and dragged it slowly out of the box. Holding it in his hands, it felt so much longer than when he'd seen it wrapped around Spinner's neck, where it was supposed to belong. Why had it come undone? Sure, their parting had been sudden and hectic, but he'd never seen his scarf come undone in past battles – Spinner was particular about that. It was a symbol of where he came from, and the words of Stain that had guided him to the League in the first place. Such a thing couldn't possibly be left behind so carelessly.
The fabric, battered and threadbare in places as it was, was also surprisingly soft, and there was something almost comforting about holding it now, as if he hadn't truly said goodbye to the group of misplaced degenerates.
Tokoyami held his hand up to his throat. It was swathed in bandages now, but underneath that it was bare. His choker had broken right before the battle, and he'd had no replacement for it. It might be nice to have a replacement, something that held meaning, even if it was only temporary. After all, he'd have to find a way to get this back to Spinner somehow. And if he kept it on him while searching the city, then it would have the added benefit of covering up the painful burns that now adorned his neck.
Tokoyami convinced himself, a bit too readily, perhaps, and he set the red scarf on his pillow.
Underneath the scarf, there wasn't much else. Just the pouches that he kept strapped to his side. Inside one were his night vision goggles, which were thankfully undamaged, and a few others contained a few sparse medical supplies. He'd grown lax with keeping them stocked, since his old injuries had recovered and the PLF had offered plenty of its own medical coverage. If there was a discreet way to restock that, it'd be beneficial. In the last pouch, he reached his hand inside only to recoil at the touch of paper. He knew what it was even before he pulled it out. The innocuous note, crumpled and bloodstained, still had Twice's sloppy handwriting carefully drawn on it. Now more than ever, the message asking him if he was okay weighed down upon him like a boulder, and he no longer had the strength to keep it from flattening him.
Tokoyami shoved the note back into the pouch and clamped his hand to his beak to stifle a sob. He couldn't let his classmates know how he felt about his experiences, ruthless and heart-wrenching as they might've been.
Hunching his shoulders, Tokoyami curled into himself and fought back tears. Why doesn't this feel like home? Being back with the heroes… was supposed to feel better than this!
A buzz snapped him from his perilous thoughts, surprising even him. It sounded so familiar, and yet it still took him a moment to process what it'd been. My… phone?
The backpack his parents had brought him sat on the ground at his feet. His hand hovered over the side pocket before finally unzipping it and rifling through its contents. He pulled out a sleek black phone, its screen lit by a new message. It was fully charged, still had the same password on it, and when he opened it to the home screen everything on it was the same as it had been. Truly an incredible feeling, considering he'd hardly thought about his lack of a phone in months. A phone had been one of those things that could obviously never be given to him when he was with the villains, and he'd grown used to life without it. But now that it was back, it suddenly felt like he had so much to catch up on. So many messages left unanswered, music not listened to, and videos unwatched lay before him.
Tokoyami's thumb wavered over his notifications, and he opened it into a conversation with his mom.
"Hope you're getting settled in alright! When you're feeling up to it, why don't we take a walk around campus? Miss you!"
A light smile tugged at the corner of his beak, and he typed a quick response: "yes, everything is going well. That sounds nice." Send.
He scrolled up to previous messages, and his smile dropped upon reading the those which he'd never answered.
"You're being careful with Dark Shadow, right? I don't want you feeling stressed. If it ever gets to be too much, let me know and we can figure something out." Read August 6th.
"Enjoy the summer camp! Let me know when you get back, okay?" Read August 7th.
"Is everything alright? Where are you? Fumikage, please answer." …
It hurt to see those messages after so long. What else awaited him, he wondered?
It didn't take much for his mind to travel, and almost instinctively he started searching up a specific video that he'd only ever heard about.
Dabi Todoroki Reveal.
"Are you sure about this?" Dark Shadow mumbled, watching the screen over his shoulder.
I don't think I could avoid it if I tried.
There were hundreds of results. Reuploads, breakdowns, reactions, and the like. The first one, posted during the war, had hundreds of thousands of views. He clicked on it, and watched it all the way through with an ever-building sensation of dread.
"I am Touya Todoroki, the eldest son of Endeavor." His voice was calm and collected. He was seated on a couch in the PLF mansion, and every so often tremors would cause debris to fall from the ceiling around him. His shirt was off, exposing the extent of the gruesome burns that decorated his body. Tokoyami had only ever seen them a few times, but he knew they got worse as time passed. "To date, I've killed over 30 innocent people in cold blood…"
I don't… know about that, Tokoyami considered. He didn't know who Dabi was referencing. Surely not the street thugs that had once cornered them on the street, that night when he'd gotten Dark Shadow back? Or the vengeful yakuza that had shot at him at least once before, to Tokoyami's knowledge. There were countless casualties in the fight against the MLA, some of which even Tokoyami couldn't prevent when they were right before his eyes. It wasn't in Dabi's nature to strike down those who hadn't provoked him first.
"…And today, I'd like everyone to know exactly what drove me to such despicable acts." Tokoyami watched the video, listening to much of what his family had discussed with him. He put Endeavor's reputation on full blast, exposing his sins. And then the audio turned gut-wrenchingly familiar.
Seeing Hawks' brutal onslaught was even harder to watch from this perspective. He could see the pain in his own face, even through the rough video quality, as that detestable feather ran through his shoulder and embedded itself into the vulnerable man standing behind him. He saw the spray of blood that splattered his back, watched in horror as Twice's body slid off the feather. He saw what perhaps nobody else would see from this video – the sadness on Twice's face, the anguish as realization caught up with Tokoyami, and the smallest exchange as Twice handed him a handkerchief. The recorder hadn't picked up the minute sounds, but Tokoyami could still hear the nauseating sound of Hawks' feather driving through flesh and bone. His hands began to shake, and he had to set his phone down on his bed just to continue watching it. He knew he had to watch it through to the end.
"But worst of all, it's heroes that perpetuate this vicious cycle. Do they think themselves exempt from rules? Or do they truly have no issue with allowing the children of the next generation to take on their burdens? The real tyrants are the pros who put these hero hopefuls on the frontlines, expecting them to make up for all their mistakes. You've seen what became of Endeavor's failures already," he growled, waving his hands around him. "But now you're watching it all over again, only this time with that poor excuse of a role model, Hawks, and his rejected intern." For how composed he'd managed to stay throughout the video, now more than ever it felt like he had to force himself to not let his anger show. "Let it be known that it wasn't me that sought to bring down Tokoyami. Those heroes… without fail, they'll always take from you what can never be replaced. I've let things slide for far too long. But after what they did to Tokoyami… I won't let the heroes get away with that. The only ones these "heroes" protect are themselves! With all that ugliness inside, they use you people to give them protection! Approval! Admiration! And if there's anything I've learned, there's no hope for those who doom their own."
The video ended, and Tokoyami stared at it until the screen went dark. "Oh Dabi, this wasn't how I wanted things to end." So this is what they'd meant when referencing Dabi's final statements. He was still a man seeking vengeance for his own reasons, but now he had a reason to double down on his resentment against the world that'd spawned him. And yet, even after Twice's tragic demise… it didn't sound like Dabi blamed Tokoyami for the outcome. Frustrated and upset, sure, but his promises to kill him from before suddenly felt so much hollower. It was as he'd expected, but the truth hurt in a way that he hadn't anticipated the same way.
Dabi didn't even want to fight him. Not as an enemy.
It might've even been easier for Dabi if Tokoyami had written him off as an irredeemable villain – or an irredeemable hero, whichever was worse. But he couldn't do that.
Tokoyami lied down, feeling drained from the day's events and its revelations. He couldn't help thinking of the truth in Dabi's words. He'd been used by the villains, too, but that had been expected of him, and at least with the PLF it was never to place him in direct harm. He'd accepted Hawks' terms out of unspoken obligation, but it'd been a betrayal on every side. And for what? So that, even at the end, Hawks would question his loyalties in the heat of battle?
Tokoyami had done everything he could, but it hadn't been enough. And maybe, in that moment, there hadn't been a right answer that would've magically made for a better outcome. But it still pained him to an unfathomable degree.
I'm s…sorry, Twice, Tokoyami thought, lying his heavy head down upon his pillow. I'm so sorry, Dabi. Tokoyami reached his hand out and took hold of Spinner's scarf. Everyone… please forgive me. He closed his eyes, letting exhaustion take over him as he settled into a fitful sleep.
His eyes snapped open to the sound of a new message on his phone. He groped around for it groggily until he freed it from the coils of Spinner's scarf and squinted at the blue light that greeted him.
Father: "We are on our way back. We're to have a meeting with your principal."
Tokoyami took a shaky breath before responding back. "Understood. I'll be ready."
He pushed himself up with one arm, wincing at his stiff joints. His mouth tasted of cotton and metal, and his bandages were already beginning to feel grimy.
Water.
Tokoyami rose slowly to his feet and poked his head out his door. His phone said it was past 4pm. Evening was setting in, and with it the end of the school day. It was quiet, so he closed his door and padded silently down the hallway. He paused at each door he passed, wondering if any one of his new neighbors would notice his presence. What am I doing? There's no reason to be so nervous…
He checked his appearance in the floor's bathroom, where he straightened out a few disheveled feathers and adjusted his jacket around his shoulders. He couldn't do anything about the dullness in his red-tinged eyes, but this was about as presentable as he was going to get.
He took the elevator down and found his way into the kitchen, where he grabbed a glass from the drying rack and poured himself water from the tap.
"Tokoyami?"
Tokoyami choked on his drink, setting down the glass and whirling around at the sound of a concerned voice. He must've still been asleep, for his eyes were playing cruel tricks on him.
"Toga?" he gasped, steadying himself on the counter with one unsteady hand. And then his thoughts cleared, and he saw Uraraka standing in the doorway of the kitchen with a troubled expression. At least, he was pretty sure it was his old classmate.
"N-no, Tokoyami, it's me – I promise." Her friendly smile was probably meant to be reassuring, but Tokoyami found it hard to conceal his disappointment. Uraraka must've noticed it, too. "It's… it's strange, isn't it? I haven't seen the real you in so long. But… I've still seen you. Toga… you must know she's been using your blood, right?"
Tokoyami looked down into the stillness of his water glass. "Yes, I'm aware. I let it happen – perhaps even encouraged it, I must admit."
Uraraka gripped onto the doorway, as if that might help ground her as it became harder to keep a friendly tone. "But… w-why would you do that? Did she manipulate you? I know how tricky she can be… from my run-ins with her."
"She's… my dear friend," Tokoyami confessed, as if it were some grievous crime. And maybe it would be to some people. "Please, you must tell me, did you see her at all during the war? I thought she'd be with the rest of the League, but when I saw her absence, I…"
"You were worried about her?" Uraraka rasped, voice rife with disbelief.
Tokoyami's response caught in his throat, resulting in a meager wheeze. And so he nodded instead, if only to prove that people like him existed.
"We fought," Uraraka said, rather bluntly. "Because that's what happens every time I face her. I'm sorry, Tokoyami, but… she's on the wrong side. You should understand that better than anyone, right? She sought me out in the middle of the war, just to ask me questions when I needed to be out there helping the evacuation efforts. She looked and acted like you, and when she was done with that she told me all about her scary way of love." Her eyes were wide with grief and… disgust? "Did you know that she used my face and quirk to kill somebody? It's… it's such a terrible thought, don't you think…?"
Tokoyami tugged his jacket closer around him, but it was no substitute for a cloak. "I know. I was there. Ms. Curious – she told us our lives were wrong. That we were tragedies. And that our deaths at her hands would be the best outcome. But I couldn't let that happen, and neither could Toga. So we fought back. And… we learned from our experiences. And when it was all over, we'd grown closer. I know it wasn't right, and I didn't want to involve my classmates, but…"
"You've been through so much. You don't have to figure everything out now. At least I know that even if Toga impersonates me, she's not me. And the same is true for you. You're not like her. And more importantly, you're safe now!"
Uraraka approached him. She was a strong person, so she put aside her feelings of aversion and took his hand in hers. Such bubbly optimism, even in the dark of darks. For anyone else, this kind of reassurance might've been a godsend. But for Tokoyami, it still didn't sit right with him. "I don't care if she uses my face," he declared grimly. "She wears it as her own, now, and she knows how to use it. But Uraraka, please answer me this, since you say you fought her: was she okay? Did she escape?" He knew he was risking his appearance as a neutral force in all this, but he had to know.
Uraraka squeezed his hand gently before letting go, doubt flicking across her otherwise soft features. "Oh, um… yeah. She slipped away once Tsu and Shinsou arrived on the scene. I guess that was a bit one-sided, huh? But whether or not she was okay…" Uraraka pursed her lips, thinking hard about their encounter. "The last thing I told her was… about how she'd have to live with the consequences of her actions. You know, since she's a villain, and her choices hurt people, so it's up to us to stop her. I think… when she ran away, she was crying. But what difference does that make to you?" She was watching his face intensely for a reaction. Tokoyami wished he knew why talking about Toga made him feel so vulnerable, or even why Uraraka made him want to spill his thoughts and fears.
"She was hurting, Uraraka. She was in pain and I couldn't help her. I said good-bye to her at the villa, but I didn't think I'd miss her so wretchedly." He looked up, facing Uraraka with a face wrought with grief. It was enough to make her step back in surprise. "Uraraka, I… I think I might have even—"
Tokoyami didn't get the chance to finish that tumultuous thought before being interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. "Hello…? Anyone home? Me 'n Aizawa are back from the hospital, if anyone wanted to come say hi."
Wha—! Fumikage, what was that?! Dark Shadow squawked in his head before he could properly bury his feelings back down. What were you about to say?
Tokoyami sighed inwardly with relief, not wanting to answer either one of the startled onlookers as he gravitated towards the new presence. A way out!
Uraraka quickly backpedaled out of the kitchen, equally eager to leave the conversation behind. "Ah! Welcome back, Shinsou! I'll let everyone know!" And just like that, she was gone, ascending the stairs to alert whoever was in their rooms.
Tokoyami trailed at a slower pace, emerging into the commons with his feathers more ruffled than they had been before. "Shinsou… it really is you, isn't it?"
Class 1A's newest student hesitated in the doorway, a spark of surprise lighting up his purple eyes for a moment before he relaxed. "I didn't get the chance to say this before, but it's good to have you here. And… I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you – back then, when you were…" It seemed as though everyone was talking as if they'd been too late to save him. And in a way, maybe they had been. Shinsou seemed to look through him, as though he could see the extent of the gruesome injuries he'd sustained half a year ago. Surely he wouldn't blame himself for that?
"You and everyone else," Tokoyami sighed wearily. "It stands to reason that I would need to leave the villains behind of my own volition, wouldn't you agree?"
"Well… maybe," Shinsou replied, sounding a bit unsure. "But now that you are back, just think of all the people who missed you." He gestured for Tokoyami to follow, and he obliged, stepping out into the light of the setting sun. Behind him, he could hear his classmates emerging from their rooms to greet Aizawa.
He followed Shinsou out first, heading towards the new car that was parked right outside. Aizawa was just getting out of the passenger seat with help from Lemillion, who must've driven them here. Tokoyami was relieved to see the upstart hero doing well, especially after his unexpected appearance on the battlefield when he'd been needed most. He didn't have the words to express his gratitude to Lemillion – it'd been thanks to his sacrifice that Tokoyami still had Dark Shadow, and yet things seemed to have worked out. Although their initial encounter had been rocky, they'd managed to fight together against Overhaul. For her sake.
The back door of the car opened, and a small face peeked out from behind it. "Tsukuyomi? Is that really you?"
"Eri!" he gasped, feeling a wave of emotion hit him all at once. He stumbled forward, as if he were back on a battlefield of difficult terrain and perilous spikes. Shinsou steadied him, but he broke free and rushed forward. Eri ran up to him, eyes wide in wonder and recognition. And she was smiling! Something so rare and unseen, to think that a girl like her who'd endured such horrors could smile like that!
"It is you!" she giggled, hugging her small arms around him.
Tokoyami knelt down in one fluid motion and likewise wrapped his one good arm around her, holding her close as if they were back in the heat of battle and there was nothing more important than keeping her safe. "You've grown!" Tokoyami croaked. And really, there was so much more than that. She looked happy and outspoken, like a kid her age was supposed to be. She wore a charming little dress, and bright red boots with mud on them, and her hair was carefully brushed into twin pigtails tied with pink ribbons. It was a far cry from the tattered hospital gown and bloodied bandages that he would always see her in before. "You're… you're safe!"
"Of course I am!" she said, squeezing him tighter as if to prove a point.
Tokoyami gasped in pain, feeling his shoulder flare up in agony now that the hospital medication had worn off.
Eri backed off immediately, her eyes wide in alarm. "Are you still hurt?" she asked meekly, her face scrunched up in concern. She looked like she could cry in a heartbeat.
Tokoyami smiled. With a pat on her head, he rose back to his full height. "Any injuries you might remember from before are all fully healed, so you don't have to worry about that. My shoulder is just bugging me from this most recent battle, is all."
She mouth a quiet oh and stuck to his right side. "If you're hurt then… then I should fix it!"
Tokoyami gave a light laugh, but ultimately shook his head. "There's no need for that. It'll heal just fine on its own, though I appreciate the gesture."
Dark Shadow materialized at his side, and Eri gasped in delight. "We'll tough it out! We're good at that stuff," he chortled, nuzzling into Eri's side. The girl laughed, and ran her hands all over the quirk's shadowy head.
A shadow fell across him, and Tokoyami looked up to see Aizawa approaching them, slow but steady. "We picked her up on the way here. She's been staying with me since October, and has been getting along very well with the staff and students of UA." He sounded like a proud father, and somehow that was the greatest comfort he could've received, knowing that she was well taken care of by somebody as reliable as Aizawa. "This whole time, though, she never stopped asking about you."
Eri took hold of his hand and looked up at him pleadingly. "Now that you're not with the villains, you're here to stay, right?"
Tokoyami couldn't prevent his composure, meager as it already was, from slipping. Eri might've been young, but she had experience beyond her years – she was no fool. Eri cast her eyes downward, sticking close by his side not knowing how long she'd be able to do so.
"I'll be here," Tokoyami insisted solemnly. "Because I promised I'd keep you safe, and I meant that."
"You're not the only one looking out for her, you know!" Lemillion said, folding his arms and leaning towards them with a humorous glint in his dark eyes. "If anything, you've got a whole lotta catching up to do!"
"You're right," Tokoyami agreed with a sage nod. "Such as… your quirk?"
"Back and better than ever!" he exclaimed cheerily. "All thanks to little Eri. You wouldn't believe how brave and determined she's been since she's been here! She's learned so much in such a short time."
Tokoyami gazed down at her knowingly. "I can imagine."
Another car pulled up just then, parking next to the building behind Aizawa's car, and Tokoyami craned his neck to watch his parents climb out.
"Oh, good, you're ready!" his mom trilled. "And you have your friends and teacher with you as well!"
"We'll be getting our tour of UA grounds now," his dad explained, face set in a grim expression. "Mr. Present Mic is waiting at the front entrance, where he'll show us the reinforcements and improvements that have been made to the academy. Hopefully then I'll feel more comfortable with… all this."
Tokoyami couldn't formulate a proper response to that. Thankfully, Aizawa took over from there. He confronted his parents, likely not for the first time, and set about reassuring them while they made their way back to the cars and took the short drive up to UA's front doors. There, they were met with Present Mic. Though classes for the first years had been temporarily put on hold, Mic was well enough to maintain his duties as a teacher. He looked – felt? – different from the hero Tokoyami had known before, but that was understandable. A lot had happened since he'd last been here.
"I'm glad to see everyone here!" Present Mic had greeted them, somewhat formally in the presence of the Tokoyamis. He almost immediately went into the tour, leading them through UA's newest features at a slow pace that even Aizawa could keep up with.
Tokoyami hardly heard any of what he said, try as he might to pay attention. If it would keep his parents safe, then that was good enough for him. All the while, Eri kept hold of his hand, with Lemillion on his other side. They'd made it through about half of the campus before stopping for a break, letting Aizawa sit down. Tokoyami could see his old teacher struggling, and quietly wished he'd taken this time to continue recovering. But he remembered the press coverage Aizawa had faced in the aftermath of his kidnapping, and could only guess what kind of burden he might bear, having one of his students gone for so long. And yet, Tokoyami knew Aizawa to be a sensible man – if he was to implore anyone here with decisions yet unmade, it would be him.
For now, though – at least while the adults were talking – he found himself growing more comfortable with his company. It made him wish that it could be a new norm, but even that felt so far away while so much remained unresolved.
Eri did a little skip, and Lemillion used his strength to swing her a bit farther through the air. Tokoyami couldn't quite offer the same assistance in her "big steps," as she called them, but Lemillion more than made up for it. All the while, Eri looked around with eyes brighter than he'd ever seen them. "Oh, oh! This is where we had the, um, the festival!"
The open space was empty now, but Tokoyami remembered the food stalls and tables that had been here during the Sports Festival. He smiled, perhaps with an expression sadder than he'd intended. "You must mean the cultural festival."
"Yeah!" she said readily, preparing herself for another big step. Tokoyami braced his arm in anticipation as she hopped off the ground.
Did… did you need help…?
No, I have this, Tokoyami stubbornly told his quirk. "Did you have fun?"
"Uh-huh! We played games, and watched shows, and-and they even made candy apples!" She said excitedly, lighting up with fond memories. And truly, Tokoyami couldn't be happier – she needed more of those. "I thought it would be scary, with all those people around, and so many new things, but… but I'm really happy I got to be there. I don't think I'd want to be anywhere else." Her little fingers clenched tighter around his and Lemillion's hands, and Tokoyami felt a pang in his chest.
"I'm… I'm so happy to hear that."
Tokoyami watched Shinsou help his teacher and mentor to stand back up. It never ceased to amaze him how fast things could go wrong – how damage could be dealt in the blink of an eye. But the sacrifices made had to be worth it, if it meant that the ones being protected could live better lives. He just wished he knew how he look after them all, if it meant that he was trying to cling to each side of the same coin.
I just need to put my trust in others, knowing they'll want to do the right thing. He was glad Eri had so many good people looking after her. She deserved to have that kind of support in her life.
"Lemillion… in the midst of so much havoc, I never did get the chance to properly thank you," Tokoyami began tentatively, his voice quiet enough so that his parents wouldn't hear.
"Please, there's no need," he insisted in an equally hushed voice. "I did what was right, and I would've given even more than my quirk to see these past battles through. You, too… I'll never forget what you did for Eri… and for Sir. My life wouldn't be the same without them." A grin stretched across his face, so warm and friendly that it might've shined like the sun. "And you can call me Togata! Funny how you haven't had the chance to learn it sooner, huh?"
Tokoyami's feathers prickled with embarrassment, and he forced a small laugh. "R-right. Thank you… Togata."
The small group was making their way through more familiar hallways. Tokoyami found himself peeking into 1A's classroom. It was just as he remembered, same number of desks and all. And in the back, he could see his old desk. It must've been cleared out long ago, though, he thought sadly. I pray they tossed out my old writings. Such poorly aged ramblings needn't see the light of day.
When he turned back to the others, he noticed Shinsou's sudden aversion to him, and he narrowed his eyes to suspicious red slits. If I had to wager a guess, that desk is now yours? I can't even be upset. It'd be a waste of space to leave it empty. At least I can be reassured… knowing the class has gotten on just fine without me. After all, Shinsou now possesses more right to it than I, after so long.
"Welcome to UA, Mr. and Mrs. Tokoyami!" came a squeaky, lighthearted voice.
Tokoyami had to look down at the next figure to emerge, and a ripple of greetings were exchanged with principal Nezu. Tokoyami stayed quiet as he addressed his parents, leading them through the hall in the direction of his office. He almost missed what he said, following along as if stuck in a stupor.
"—healing up just fine, yourself?" Nezu inquired, imploring him with his beady black eyes.
He's concerned about your injuries. Er, not just your shoulder though, Dark Shadow explained.
Tokoyami let his hand slip from Eri's, and she looked up in surprise as he crossed his arm defensively over his chest, cradling his other arm and drawing ever so slightly deeper within himself. "Y…yes, I'm getting along alright. It shouldn't be of concern."
Nezu clapped his paws together. "That's wonderful news! Now, if you'll come this way, there's important things to discuss."
At his side, Eri stifled a yawn. Already, their shadows were growing longer with the setting sun.
"I think that's our cue to leave," Togata chuckled.
"But I wanna stay with Tsukuyomi!" the little girl protested sleepily.
"No, he's right," Aizawa said, approaching them. "Why not have Mic take you back to the dorms? I'll see you back there in a bit."
Eri took a sharp breath, fighting back her disappointment, and managed the faintest of nods before Present Mic took the kids back to the car.
Once gone, Nezu started in on his plans going forward. "Young Tokoyami will be behind on his studies, but we're working on a program that will get him up to date with the rest of Class 1A."
"The year is almost over, though," his father pointed out. "Would it not be easier to push him back a year?"
The crest of feathers on his mother's head shot up in alarm. "But what of all his friends!" she cawed. "They're such good kids, and there's already been so many difficult changes for Fumikage."
"That's why we want to test his abilities in a way that's different from standard teachings," Nezu explained. "Difficult as it might've been, anyone can see that Tokoyami has grown exponentially since he was last with us – I couldn't fathom setting him back and ignoring what he's learned."
It was true. He hasn't sat idly by this whole time. Though the fall season might've been stagnant in growth, he'd gained access to invaluable lessons in combat, quirk usage, and even studies of various subjects through the PLF's book selection. It was strange to think about, but he'd built his own curriculum – something so far removed from normal hero teachings that he couldn't consider it wise to go into detail around the UA staff.
Nezu continued. "We won't be able to grant him access to an official hero license, but I've looked into alternatives that might grant him some special permissions. As for classes, he'll need to study hard for generalized tests to finish out the term, but that shouldn't reflect poorly on his grades. Usually quirk assessments are just as important as written exams, but those can be put on hold while he recovers. After all, Tokoyami has always been an asset in that department – I dare say that won't be a hurdle at all!" There was a knowingness to that statement that anyone could see. Being with the League for so long, of course he was expected to fight and improve. Even if the only evidence the heroes had of his enhanced abilities came from his fight with Overhaul and, more recently, his involvement in the war – both cases of which he'd been injured – they at least knew he could hold out against some of the most dangerous villains this country had to offer. Not many students his age could say the same.
When they finally reached Nezu's office, Aizawa dragged himself into a chair that sat outside the door. "I think… I'll stay here a moment, if you don't mind too terribly."
Nezu blinked. "Not at all. Take however much time you need while we further discuss our plans with the Tokoyamis."
Tokoyami tugged his coat closer around him, trying to keep it over his shoulder. This wasn't comfortable for him. "Actually, could I stay out here as well? I'm afraid I'm a bit tired, is all."
Both his dad and Nezu seemed to share a moment of hesitation, but his mother ran her hand lovingly through his head feathers. "Of course! You must be exhausted – sorry to push you so much, I know this must be a lot. We can take it from here while you take it easy!" A sharp sideways glance at the other adults set her words in stone, and nobody objected as the three of them filed into the office, leaving Tokoyami alone with Aizawa.
Tokoyami pressed his back against the wall beside Aizawa and slid down until he was on the ground. "They won't be able to hear us, will they?" he whispered hoarsely.
Aizawa looked down upon him curiously with his one uninjured eye. "…No. You're safe to talk, if that's what you need."
"You've all… done so much," Tokoyami murmured, his head coming to rest atop his knees. "This whole time, you've been looking after the class, making sure they would become the best heroes they possibly could be. You took Eri in, and you can give her a life better than I had thought imaginable when I'd first met her in that unfathomable darkness. And now I can even trust my parents to be safe here. I'd been worried before, but now I fear my name has become synonymous with too much. Your class, meanwhile, has earned their hero names, and the good reputation that comes with being a part of UA."
Aizawa placed his crutch on the ground, making the absence of his leg all the more obvious. "They're your classmates, too," he reminded.
Tokoyami closed his eyes. "I know. But. I can't." The words were difficult to get out, but he said them firmly. "I don't see a future here. I don't see myself. As a UA hero. That's too generous. Too wrong. But how else am I supposed to explain that my loyalties have been split? And that it's not just the result of villainous intent? I'll admit I haven't been able to make many decisions for myself. Not in a long time. But I want this one to be mine."
"You won't be staying at UA." Aizawa sounded despondent, but not surprised.
Tokoyami nodded, feeling numb with tension.
"If that's the case, then I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do."
When Tokoyami looked up, uncurling from his sheltered position on the ground in amazement, he found his old teacher gazing out at the darkening horizon. "You… won't?" Ever since reuniting with the heroes, he'd been so worried that he'd be chained by the expectations of others. That even after all his struggles to be free, he'd still be a bird trapped in a cage. Because even if he couldn't properly align his ideals with one side over another, he still wanted to be a hero. Or at the very least, not treated like a villain. He knew damn well what happened to those who were written off as the evil of the world.
"You'll always be my student, no matter what you decide. That means I gotta keep an eye out for you," Aizawa said, a hint of amusement to his tone. "Besides, I don't think anyone could force you to do something you didn't want. Every action you've made… they were your own, weren't they? You did them because you honestly believed that they were right. Nobody should ever fault you for that." He reached down, placing a hand on Tokoyami's right shoulder, and he could swear that the teacher has had to do this before. "I just need you to know that, whatever happens, you will always have a place here at UA. And wherever you go from here, there will be people who will want to help you. So please don't feel the need to distance yourself. We're here for you."
Tokoyami rubbed his palm into his eye, reveling in the rush of relief that came over him. "Th… thank you, Aizawa. That was the answer I needed."