After conquering the many trials of the dwarves, Strongarm manages to deliver the pouch of magic seeds. He returns to Agilo and tells him that the task has been completed.

What does Agilo say? He says that the entire reason he bought the earring was so he could give it to his mistress Dama as a gift, so they talk to her next. She has heard of him from Agilo, and has a task already lined up: her husband's signet ring has gone missing, and she wants him to get it back. He finds the ring guarded by a many armed giant, and after a gruesome duel he defeats it and reclaims the heirloom for Dama.

What does Dama say? She says…

Huan Strongarm: A Bartfort Folktale, by Lufas Maphaahl

"Well, hey there!" Agilo beamed. The gang had regrouped in front of his stall in Aveum Market, and the five nincompoops were finally wearing real clothes. It was now a sunny afternoon, and the foot traffic was beginning to pick up. "How did it go?"

"It went great!" Julius bragged. "We found Elarh and delivered the Seeds just fine!"

"How much did he pay you?"

"Five hundred gold!"

Leon rolled his eyes. Apparently, the Prince had forgotten that the dwarf had owed them four times that amount.

"Congratulations!" If he was being sarcastic, the merchant hid it well. "Remind me what you wanted again?"

"We wanted to ask you about that earring you bought from Gebbin the Pawnbroker," clarified Greg. "You said you gave it to a loved one, right?"

"Ah yes," nodded Agilo. "I gave the earring to my mistress, Dama. Her husband is Master of the Baker's Guild, and they live on Burcan's Island, the artisan quarter."

Everyone froze. Olivia's eyes became dead and cold, her smile the stuff of nightmares. "Mistress? This woman is your mistress? And she has a husband?"

"There's a Baker's Guild?" Leon's tail began to wag furiously. "Can you imagine how it smells in there?"

"He's a cheating cheater, Huan!"

"She's right, you know," remarked the merchant. "We are both terrible, terrible people."

In the end, Guts and Greg had to drag Olivia away before she could do something to get herself arrested. The artisan quarter was actually the large square on the other side of the Devil's Bridge, where Jarl, Bibrus and Gaston all had their own shops. It was called Burcan's Island because of the canal that surrounded it.

"Do you guys know I've been calling this place 'the market square' in my head?" Leon remarked. "I'd forgotten what it was actually called until just now. In fact, I was fairly certain that it was just an extension of Avrum Market."

This got an amused smile from Olivia. "You do realise it isn't square, right? If anything it's a trapezium, or possibly a parallelogram… What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You made both those shapes up."

"Did not."

"Did so."

Goodwife Dama - as the game insisted on calling her - was a short, fat, wrinkly old woman with a grey dress, a white apron and a faded shawl slung across her shoulders. The love interests did a massive double take when Leon pointed her out. "That's Agilo's mistress?" Brad exclaimed. "But she's so… so…"

"I know!" Leon sighed dreamily. "Isn't it romantic? Truly, love knows no barriers."

Julius rolled his eyes. "Right, well, I'm guessing that means she's his mistress as in his boss, or just owns a lot of shares in his business. The merchant was probably just messing with us."

"Fine. Ruin the joke."

"Yes he did, that rotten skinflint!" Dama was saying. Apparently someone had progressed her dialogue while they were distracted. "Who gives a woman one earring? Does he mistake me for a sailor?"

"Damn," said Guts respectfully. "She's got good instincts."

"Madam Dama," bowed Earis, saluting in the way of the city guard. "We have been tasked with retrieving this earring by its original owner. We would like to buy it back, if you will allow us."

She sucked at her teeth loudly; she must have recognised him as a regular watchman at Devil's Bridge, as she seemed mildly less hostile than with the others. "Why? Is it stolen?"

"Not at all," said the fairy. "Which is why it's perfectly within your rights if you don't want to-"

Angelica cut her off in a panic. "Olivia!"

"Well it is!"

"We'd be perfectly fine performing a quest of some description as payment," offered Jilk breezily.

Her face softened ever so slightly. "That's quite alright. I know a family heirloom when I see one. I gave it to-"

"Now hold on there!" She was rudely interrupted by a large, loud man with a glorious handlebar moustache. He was extremely fat, and was wearing a grey suit that clung tightly to his protruding belly. He placed his arm over Dama's shoulder in an obnoxious, condescending manner. "Ah! Greetings, bold warriors! You have come at an opportune time!"

"Pomporo!" Dama snapped instantly reverting to her usual crankiness. "Get the hell off me!"

The man laughed as she kicked him in the leg. Olivia leaned down to whisper in Leon's ear. "Who is that?"

"That would be Pomporo Dhuramil, Dama's husband and the acting Master of the Baker's Guild. His family used to be nobility and he won't let you forget it. He's an arrogant, obnoxious asshole and nobody likes him. But if you take his request, then get the earring's location from Dama, then still offer to take the job you get a cool weapon. I definitely recommend it."

"I am beside myself with worry!" Pomporo was saying, elbowing his wife out the way. Brad and Earis quickly moved to help her before she could tumble onto the pavement. "Something precious has been stolen from me!"

Naturally, Julius and Angelica had been listening to everything Leon said. "What, exactly?" Jules asked cautiously.

"A family heirloom, pilfered from my chambers! It's a signet ring once owned by my ancestor, the Lord of Dhuramil. Our family lost our lands and titles in the civil war against Fanoss."

The wolfdog, the fairy, the Prince and the Duke's daughter all rolled their eyes. Jilk noticed this and wondered what he was missing.

Pomporo's smile flickered. "I realise that this may seem… beneath you, but I assure the item is worth more to me than my collective fortune."

"Yeah, because you need it to justify your deluded sense of superiority," snorted Leon. "You make bread, jackass. I've made bread, and I don't even have any thumbs!"

"And besides: if you refuse, you will never see that earring again."

Olivia gave Dama a radiant smile. "So where was it again?"

"I had a servant bring it to Torras the Jeweller."

"DAMA!" Pomporo snarled, his faux-gentlemanly demeanour instantly collapsing. "You interfering-"

His voice trailed off into a squeak as Guts, Earis, Greg and Chris placed themselves between him and his wife, their hands hovering menacingly over the hilts of their weapons. "Don't talk to her like that," said Guts calmly; as intimidating as he usually was, the Dragonslayer definitely added to the effect.

"So!" Jules grinned. "I don't suppose you had a means of paying us for this, right?"

Pomporo gritted. "It… It just so happens that I have a magic weapon taking up space in my warehouse. It is called the Berserker Sword, and… look, I realise the name sounds cursed, but…"

"That's the one," nodded Leon. "That's what we're after. Take the job."

"That should be fine," smiled Julius breezily. "What information do you have for us?"

"I already know who did it," grumbled Pomporo. He sulked like a child now that he no longer felt in control. "The chambermaid. She cleans the chamber, doesn't she? She's the only one who goes in there besides my wife and I."

Greg frowned; even he - theoretically the dumbest of the group - thought that felt like a leap of logic. "Do you have any proof?"

"Not yet," he admitted. "Which is why I need your help. She'll be cleaning the privy in the Keep when we're done with her!"

Dama rolled her eyes. "The chambermaid didn't do it, and I know who did!"

"Be silent woman," snorted her husband. "This is not the time for your conspiracy theories!"

"Ignore him," said Leon flatly. "She's right."

"Nevertheless!" Angelica piped up. "It would be wise to account for all possibilities. Please, Madam Dama, if you would be so kind…"

Dama's lips twitched upward. "I believe it to be the sewer rats that committed the theft! I hear them in the walls: the city is rotten with them, even in the Crown District!"

"What!" Jilk blurted.

"My house is in the Crown District!" Chris panicked.

"Nevermind that," waved Olivia, who actually thought that Holfort rats were very polite. "What would an animal want with jewellery?"

"How should I know?" Dama shrugged. "Perhaps they like shiny things?"

"Are we done here?" Pomporo asked testily. "Because I am telling you, it was that worthless whore-"

"You are really making me regret being a member of law enforcement," said Guts darkly.

"We have enough information for now," said Julius. "Well get back to you later."

They left the pompous man to fume impotently at the empty air, wandering off toward the canals. "So are we going into the sewers again?" Brad asked. Earis shot him an alarmed look.

"Again?"

"There's an entrance not far from here," said Leon, ignoring him. "It should place us fairly close to the ring's location."

"So what's so special about this sword anyway?" Olivia asked curiously. "I feel like Pomporo is the sort of person you would usually avoid helping at all costs."

"Oh yeah…" Leon struggled to recall the weapon's stats. "For starters, it doesn't actually make you go berserk; every time you hit something with it has a chance of casting Empower, which boosts attack damage in a big way. It's a spell I'm hoping Olivia can learn one day."

"So who's going to be using it?" Julius wondered. "Chris has the Sword of Spirits, Griffith and Guts have the dwarf blades and I'm not ready to give up Perseverance yet…"

"I was thinking Brad could get it!"

The purple headed dingus tripped over himself in surprise once the Prince translated. "Me?"

"Sure," grunted Leon. "So long as you focus on magic and don't use it as an excuse to put yourself in danger then yeah, it should do a pretty decent job of covering your weak spots."

Brad was possibly vibrating with excitement by the time they found the grate. Guts heaved it open, allowing the party to file inside. They were in a much more unsavoury part of the sewer than the spot used as the smugglers' hideout: human filth trickled across the floor in a steady stream, earning various noises of disgust from the bipeds.

Leon found the smell wasn't as overbearing as he was expecting: oddly for someone with enhanced senses, he had never once been overwhelmed when faced with strong smells, loud noises or bright lights. It was kind of like that one aug from Deus Ex that protected you from flashbangs, only it applied to all five senses.

It was the little ways in which his extraordinary durability still took him by surprise.

The underground hall echoed with the heavy footsteps of Brass Golems, but unlike the individual who had greeted them beneath the Old City these ones were broken beyond repair. Parts of their plating had been worn away by the damp, exposing sparking wires and bleeding red machinery.

Guts drew the Dragonslayer from his back, charging forward while the teenagers were still gaining their bearings; three broken Brass Golems advanced in a line towards him, and all three were annihilated by a single swipe. They were obliterated by the massive sword, the deafening sound of shredded metal echoing off the narrow tunnel.

Everyone stared, awestruck. "I love you."

Olivia blinked and gave Leon a confused head tilt. "What?"

"What?"

"Sorry," grinned Guts. "I just really wanted to test this puppy out." He gave the Dragonslayer a powerful swing, scattering the ambiguous red fluids of the Golems across the walls before placing it smugly on his back. "You guys can have the next one."

"That… That was pretty cool!" They could tell that Greg was trying to talk down to him, but the genuine awe in his voice made him come off as way more sincere than he probably intended. "But real men don't rely on their equipment! Skill is more important than any weapon!"

Guts gave him an odd look. "Then why don't you fight barehanded?"

This seemed to throw him for a sec. "Um…"

"You fight with a spear, forcing you to rely on at least one piece of equipment at all times. When you say this, aren't you just looking down on yourself?"

Greg really didn't have anything to say to that. Guts held up the Dragonslayer thoughtfully, his arm rock steady as if the slab of metal weighed nothing at all.

"To me, my sword is my trusted ally on the battlefield. It protects me from harm and destroys my enemies. So if I can't even be trusted to take care of my most faithful ally, how can my companions trust me to watch their backs?"

A second, much larger group of Brass Golems began slowly trundling down the tunnel behind him.

"Imagine this water here is your inner power," Guts continued, ignoring them. "Without tools, you can only take what your hand can hold. But with the right weapon…"

He carefully dipped the Dragonslayer into the sewer water, then suddenly slashed it in the direction of the group of Golems. His impossible strength turned the filthy liquid into an impromptu water cutter, slicing through the metal monsters like butter. They collapsed into red goop and sparking machinery, while Guts shook the filth from his sword and replaced it on his back

"Of course I'm just a commoner who relies on his gear, so what do I know?"

"So cool," whispered Leon. Olivia looked between him and the guard suspiciously, while Angelica placed her hand over her mouth and tried very hard not to laugh.

The wolfdog led them through the underground halls, allowing the bipeds to test their skills against the damaged Golems and occasionally stopped them when they tried to attack one that was fully functional. They eventually arrived at a doorway opening up into a beautiful room, evidently part of the sewer system designed by Marmoria and Arclight.

The room was extremely dark, with a ceiling and walls that fused into a dome of ceramic purple plates like flower petals. Six gold pillars surrounded a bizarre brass statue that appeared to have parts broken off: they littered the floor, almost drawing their attention from the depression in the statue's chest. A blood red orb of polished crystal sat there like a heart, suspended by disgusting purple webbing.

"That thing's going to try and kill us, isn't it?" Jilk sighed.

"Yep," nodded Leon. He glanced distractedly over the ground, his eyes lighting up when he spotted their objective. "There it is!"

"Perfect!" Brad skipped over and picked up the discarded signet ring, which the others allowed because they had already agreed that he was getting the sword. "Now we just need to get back above ground and-"

There were a few startled yelps as the door slammed shut behind them, an iron portcullis sliding down just to make it extra clear that the boss fight was mandatory. The red orb began to pulse like a beating heart, the room lighting up as small flames were lit at the tops of the six pillars. The junk scattered about the room began to float about the statue, which erupted with purple-black goop that connected them into six huge arms.

It posed dramatically as curved axes resembling chakrams appeared in two of its hands, adopting an almost Buddha-like martial arts pose. The message was clear.

Bring it.

"Get it guys!" Leon calmly padded off to the side, the bipeds scattering as it slammed one of its fists into their midst. The ground cratered, forcing Sir Onemore to transform back into a knight to block the shrapnel with his shield.

"Are you going to sit this one out?" The bipeds shouted at one another as they began to counterattack. The automaton was keeping the axeblades above its head for now, attacking with two fists while using its remaining hands to cover the weak spot on its chest.

"Yep." Leon curled up to watch. "They won't always have an immortal dog protecting them. Besides, this thing is cake compared to Ikus." The freezing axe balanced on the tip of its shaft, the blade facing the mayhem as it appeared to watch the fight.

The love interests were making fools of themselves; while Chris and Julius had experience working as a team, Greg's previous dungeon expeditions had all been solo. He constantly jostled shoulders with the other melee fighters, while Brad's spells placed them in danger whenever he fudged the timing and Jilk's bullets were hilariously ineffective against the metal chassis.

By contrast, Earis and Guts were poetry in motion. They moved in perfect symmetry, dancing back and forth as they parried the automaton's blows. They watched each other's backs and the backs of the dinguses, the model of teamwork that all adventurers should strive for.

Leon began making Mouthy Husky noises.

"Huan says that you should learn from the two guards," translated Olivia.

More Mouthy Husky noises.

"The reason they're doing so well is because of their teamwork."

More Mouthy Husky noises.

"If you could work this well together, we'd be done by now."

More Mouthy Husky noises.

"You fuckups."

"How?" Greg demanded angrily. "We've never even fought together befo-"

Jilk fired an elemental bullet into a descending fist, throwing it off course and causing it to embed itself in the ground. Conveniently, it had landed right between Chris and Julius. "Your Highness! Now!"

Perseverance and the Sword of Spirits swung towards the same joint at the same time, cutting through the disgusting goo and severing the arm entirely. The automaton thrashed in pain; Greg was barely able to block when one of its fists rocketed towards him.

For the third time that day his spear shattered, and for a frozen instant his entire life flashed before his eyes. Then magical chains appeared out of nowhere, binding the arm in place and stopping it in its tracks. "Greg!" Brad shouted, his brow sweating from the effort of maintaining the spell. "Get the joints!"

In a blind panic he tried to punch it, only to hurt his hand against the polished brass. As it began to struggle free he grabbed the arm and braced his foot against the joint; with a roar of exertion he tore the arm clean off, falling on his ass as the limb separated into its components.

His eyes widened as the automaton raised the axeblades above its head, desperately crawling backward as the two guards moved to protect him; the Lionslayer and Dragonslayer were the better weapons, the axeblades shattering against the superior steel. In a move so perfect it left him in awe, they cut through its joints and shattered its arms.

Synchronicity. Perfect, flawless synchronicity.

"Get up," grunted Guts. "We're not done."

The guards jumped back as it brought down its remaining fists in a double haymaker, only for a magical barrier to hold it in place. "Miss Angelica!" Olivia shouted. "Now! The joints!"

Spears of flame hit the automaton with pinpoint precision, destroying the last of its arms and rendering it helpless. The girls exchanged a gleeful high ten, cheering like the teenagers they were.

Julius and Chris lunged for its weak spot, but were thrown back as it hauled itself out of the ground. Apparently now in its second phase, the automaton had grown two legs; the pieces of its destroyed arms floated back and reformed, enormous curved swords appearing in each of its six hands.

"Wuh oh!" yelped the Prince, fleeing with a scream as the swords began whistling through the air at extraordinary speeds. Slowly, the automaton began to chase him down. Earis and Guts intercepted it, beginning a spectacular high speed sword duel. Quickly, they began to struggle.

"Moz?"

"Sir?"

"Now you can step in."

"Sir!"

The Comet General ducked between the two guards, deflecting one of the swords with his shield; with an incredible noise it bounced into the ground, sending shattered stone flying in all directions. Angelica had barely noticed the lump of debris heading straight for until Julius threw himself in the way.

The wind was knocked out of him as his shield bounced back into his chest from the impact, leaving him to wheeze helplessly as his fiancée panicked. "Your Highness! Julius, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he coughed. Even Moissa Onemore - who had the strongest defence in the party - was being pushed back. "We need to do something about those swords!"

"I have an idea!" Angelica raised her hands, creating a massive, swirling fireball. Leon rose to his feet in case he needed to intervene. "Everyone get clear!"

The other bipeds scattered as she launched the attack; it was a spell that focused less on heat and more on concussive force, blasting the swords out of the automaton's hands and leaving an unpleasant ringing in their ears. Angelica swooned, having expended the bulk of her reserves.

Julius sheathed Perseverance and picked up one of the curved swords as it slid to his feet, hefting it over his shoulder and charging with a battlecry. At some point a grate had fallen to protect its weak point, and it was this that he chose to target. Again and again he slashed until the grate was destroyed; he drew back to catch his breath, then prepared to skewer it in its gleaming heart. "This is the end!"

At the last moment the automaton caught the blade, having assembled a single arm at the critical juncture. A pit opened up in the Prince's stomach as he heard the others call his name.

Then Angelica was there, throwing herself onto the sword and slamming it into the automaton's core, splitting it in half like a grape. It thrashed wildly for a few moments before freezing in place, a terrifying smile on its unmoving face. The purple-black goop exploded, sending the hollow head, chassis and limbs flying in all directions. There was a brief, shocked silence before the party cheered, helping each other to their and celebrating the hard fought battle.

"Victory should be earned," nodded Leon approvingly, getting a satisfied hum of agreement from the axe at his side.

The door had automatically slid open as they had beaten the boss, and soon everyone was preparing to leave. "Your Highness… Julius," said Angelica nervously. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Leon cringed hard, but he knew that this was a conversation that had to happen. He gently herded the others away to give them some privacy.

"I… I just wanted to thank you," she said shyly. "And that I'm sorry. For almost fainting at the critical moment. I promise… I promise that next time, I will definitely support Your Highness!"

For the first time in his life, Julius looked at her. He saw the desperation in her face - heard it in her voice - and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she did NOT want to marry him. That the very idea was her worst nightmare. That the mere possibility was so awful that she had convinced herself she loved him as a means to cope.

Leon was right. She didn't deserve this.

"I'm sorry Angie," he said gently. "But I don't think we should get married."

There were no words to describe her expression in that moment. "What?"

"I promise you that this is not your fault."

"But I… You need my help to be King!"

"I was never going to be King, Angie. You were." He could tell that she didn't understand. "Nobody wants me to be King. They want me to spend every day wasting my time and making as many spare princes as I can. Just like my Dad. Meanwhile you'll do all the hard work, signing forms, shaking hands, running the kingdom and doing my job for me. Like something halfway between a secretary and an indentured servant. Just like my Mom. And I don't think either of us wants that."

Angelica took a deep breath, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "But I… I… I worked so hard! I attended every lesson, I always acted properly, I did what I was told, I never cried where anyone could hear me…"

Julius felt his heart break a little at that last part. "And it's made you miserable, Angie. I've made you miserable. You have a right to be happy. You have a right to a life and a mind of your own. You deserve better. Way better than me."

"You're okay!"

Julius laughed, harsh and bitter. This was probably the most sincere compliment Angelica had ever given him. "I'm a spoiled, impulsive, entitled, immature, selfish little brat. Everyone knows it. Everyone around me babies me, giving me everything I fucking want and now I feel like I'm trapped as a fucking twelve year old! I'm trapped in an endless childhood, Angie, and your childhood was taken away! It's not fair on either of us, Angie, it's not fair!"

There was an immense feeling of relief, of a weight being lifted. It was like he had wanted to say the words all his life but never been able to articulate them.

Angelica's fists were so tight they bled. Her red eyes almost seemed to glow in the dark room. "Is this because of Olivia?"

The Prince's eyes softened sympathetically. "Olivia's no more the right one for me than you are. Honestly, I think I only liked her for the novelty of it. That's what my Dad does: he gets interested for a while, then gets bored and throws them away. I think I probably would have done that to her if she had ever returned my feelings. We're better off as friends, or maybe just mutual acquaintances of Leon. He's the only one she really likes, I think. Besides you."

She knew this, of course. Anyone who thought Olivia had any kind of feelings for the Prince was a fool. "Then what was it all for?" Angelica demanded. "All my hard work, all the blood, the sweat, the tears, the pain! Why did… Why did I even bother?"

"It's made you strong," Julius insisted. "Way stronger than me. Remember what I said: you weren't made to be a Queen. You were made to be a King."

She sobbed pitifully. "But I was meant to be a Queen. I was meant to be yours."

"I can't be King, Angie," said Julius sadly. "I'd hurt you, in slow ways. You'd be bleeding on the inside, and there would be no one there to help you. And I think you've known that for a long time." He looked at her, and his courage failed him. He didn't know what else he could say that wouldn't just hurt her more. "I'm sorry."

He left her there in the empty room. Leon and Earis were waiting for him outside the boss room. He could only assume that Guts had already escorted the others out, and Olivia had been convinced to leave the wolfdog behind. For an awful moment, he thought Leon might be angry with him.

"That must have been hard to say," he said instead. "You were… brave."

Earis led him out. Leon entered the room, where Angelica had fallen to her knees in tears. He sat beside her, allowing her to throw her arms around his neck and cry her heart out into his fur.

He wanted beyond words to make her feel better, but he had no idea what to say. He was just a mob, after all. So instead he rested his head on her shoulder and cried along with her. Tears of empathy trickled down his snout, his heart breaking with guilt.

This was his fault.

Side Quest: Pomporo's Heirloom

Summary: much like The Salt Smugglers and Cerval's Game (covered in chapters 23 and 24 respectively) this is a quest that is intended to be completed while exploring the sewers. The reward - the Berserker Sword - is a solid choice for the early game.

I don't why I made Pomporo into such an asshole, but I just feel like his ingame greeting is incredibly condescending and dickish.

"Greetings, bold warrior. You have come at an opportune time."

Jackass. I mean, he's not as bad as Ragneli or Korel, but still. Not a fan.

Broken Brass Golems are one of two types of enemies found in the sewers of Lenele, the other being a species of six-limbed lizard men called Bacites; surprisingly, they are actually the weaker of the two. I have many thoughts on Bacites, but I'm saving that for when they appear in the story a few chapters from now.

The last Golem they fight is actually Koloktos from Skyward Sword. No particular reason why, I just really like his boss fight.