Chapter 10 The Sound of Waves Breaking Against the Shoreline

The beach loft had taken on a complete transformation since Regina was there that morning. The loft was raised by a foundation of wooden beams. There was a railed porch that went all the way around as well as a connecting deck on the other side that was accessible by both the porch and a glass sliding back door inside. She could see the glow of the fire pit lit up and could hear people mingling out on the deck. Lanterns had been put out on the porch and deck, and the rails and staircase were lit up with white twinkle lights. It was lit so beautifully with the dark ocean just up ahead. It was cold, and like many of the guests, she had bundled up in a thick black peacoat, scarf and gloves. She wore a long-sleeved black dress with pantyhose and heeled boots. Her eye make up was dark and smokey finished with red lipstick. She couldn't help but think that in a different lifetime, she would have been on Leopold's arm with a revealing low cut dress and maybe just a shawl to cover up. He always made sure to show her off even on the coldest of nights. She also had a small wrapped canvas. She had quickly painted a housewarming gift a few days before. It was of a sunny view of the beach with a golden retriever running along the shoreline. You could see the foam of the water line washing over the pawprints in the sand. It was cute and sunny, exactly what she was aiming for. She also brought a bottle of cider.

Emma, who was dressed just as warmly in a nice long sleeved blouse, dark jeans and a black leather jacket, held her hand as she led her up the steps with Henry running ahead of them. Mal had been at the top as he rushed to hug her. Instead of the flannel and jeans she often wore at the cabin, or the fashionable pant suits she had taken to wearing for work since her arrival to Storybrooke, she had dressed up in a dark purple dress with a black wrap. Regina was surprised she wasn't dressed warmer, but as they were led around to the deck, she could see why. Mal had a few outdoor heaters set up along with the fire pit so that the deck was comfortably warm.

"This place is awesome!" Henry exclaimed, making Mal beamed in appreciation as he took in the scenery of not just the deck, but of the view of the ocean. Looking around, Regina could see a lot of familiar faces- Archie, Ruby, Granny, David, and Mary Margaret along with a few other people Mal had made friends with. Mal looked different, relaxed, and Regina couldn't have been more happy for her. To her complete delight, Ursula was sitting on the loungers surrounding the fire pit and was in deep conversation with Ruby. Perhaps this might be the first time Mal allowed people to see her blooming relationship with Ursula.

"Thank you for coming," Mal smiled. "I know it's a cold night, but I made the deck as warm as I possibly can."

"It's perfect! In fact I feel a bit warm," Emma laughed, unzipping her jacket and untying her scarf so it just hung loosely on her neck. "Mal, this place is beautiful! And the view of the ocean is so cool!"

"Thank you," she nodded. "The scenery and the sound of the waves is a plus during my sessions. My clients really respond to a soothing environment."

"We brought you a gift," Regina handed over the canvas and cider.

"Awe Regina… You really didn't have to," she said, taking them and looking at the wrapped canvas in awe. She was also a huge fan of her artwork and loved receiving them as gifts from time to time. Over the past couple years she had a few displayed up in the cabin.

"I wanted to," Regina insisted. "To welcome you to our town."

"Thank you," Mal said softly, accepting the gesture and giving her an appreciative hug.

"Open it!" Henry exclaimed excitedly, illiciating a smile from Mal. "It's so cute!"

"You heard the kid," Emma encouraged her.

Mal handed Regina back the cider so that she could use both hands to unwrap the paper. Once the paper fell from the canvas, she was in awe, running her fingers through the brushstrokes of different blues and sandy colors. Her glistening blue eyes lingered on the running golden dog.

"I just wanted to give you something that brought you joy whenever you looked at it. I know how much you love dogs."

"Regina, this is possibly one of the best gifts I have ever been given. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she nodded with a smile, her heart bursting at how much Mal loved the gift.

"Please enjoy yourselves," Mal led them further into the deck. "There is food in the kitchen and s'mores for the firepit."

"Cool!" Henry exclaimed, rushing for the sliding door.

"Jesus!" Emma sighed in exasperation with a hand going to her brow. "Sorry, he forgets he has manners when sugar is involved."

"It's alright, he's excited," Mal chuckled, taking the cider back from Regina. "I'm going to put this inside. I'll be right back. There's drinks inside as well. Help yourself."

Regina nodded and as Mal headed inside after Henry, she and Emma headed over to the loungers where Ursula was in deep conversation with Ruby. She was back in Storybrooke until after the holidays. She was in her second year at Harvard and the poor woman looked exhausted but happy. She was out there chasing her dreams instead of being the restless young woman looking for adventure in a small town. Regina was so proud of how far her student had come since her first semester in her class.

"You made it!" Ruby squealed upon seeing them. She stood, greeting them each with a hug. They both took a seat on the loveseat across. Ursula greeted them as well, looking gorgeous in a seagreen dress.

"This place is beautiful," Emma said, still so impressed. The fire pit crackled warmly between them and their two friends. Everyone else mingled around them enjoying the food and drinks.

"The view is extraordinary during the day," Ursula stated. "You can look out so far into the ocean, there is no end in sight. I'm usually holed up at my center surrounded by tanks, it's refreshing to be able to come on the deck every once in a while."

Emma and Regina exchanged amused knowing glances at that statement. It sounded like Ursula had visited many times in the week since Mal moved in. Regina couldn't help but feel giddy at the news, because through everything Mal was going through, she at least had someone like Ursula on her side and a promise of a new relationship that was blooming before them no matter how nervous it seemingly made her.

The four of them easily fell into conversation. Henry had returned with two sticks and two plates of marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate. Emma looked a bit touched as he simply handed her a plate and stick as if they were a piece offering and sat beside her. Emma looked at Regina as if she were looking for assurance that her son was actually making peace with her and she wasn't just imagining it. Regina nodded, and Emma gave her the brightest grin she has seen since the night of her birthday party, and watched as she joined their son in roasting their marshmallows. She was so proud of them for being able to work this out. They just seemed to need a little push.

Ruby updated them on school which interested Regina a great deal. She loved hearing about her former students' new college life at Havard and her classes. She was also happy to hear she had grown quite close to her roommate Dorothy. Emma and Ursula seemed to grill her relentlessly on her crush while Regina mostly wanted to hear about the curriculum. Even if she was no longer in the political field, she was a bit interested in the coursework at Harvard. It sounded pretty intense, but Ruby was bright and intelligent and taught by the best. She was acing her coursework, her hard work paying off even if she was exhausted.

As Regina was listening to Ruby, Emma was suddenly nudging her gently, capturing her and Ruby's attention. Emma tilted her head to Ursula who was suddenly just watching and smiling at something, or better someone… Mal was standing by the glass door talking with Archie. Ursula had been caught staring at her, completely enamored by her. Her eyes were glowing with affection and she seemed to tune out everything around her.

"Adults are weird," Henry grumbled, tearing Ursula from the spell she had fallen under. She turned her attention back to her friends, suddenly confused on why they were staring at her.

"What?"

"What do you mean what?" Ruby frowned. "I think it's time you finally spill on what's going on between you and Mal."

"We're just close friends," she shrugged, taking a nervous sip of her drink.

Ruby, Henry and Emma sniggered, not believing it for a second, but something protective seemed to bloom within Regina. Something that she felt needed to be made clear. After all, she was the only one here who truly knew the truth of Mal's dark past and her fears of being close to someone in a romantic sense because of the secret that burdened her.

"I get the sense that it's becoming more than friendship, but Mal is someone who appreciates her privacy so I'm not going to push for any details to confirm it. I just want you to know one thing. Mal is a dear friend of ours. She means a lot to my family and she is my best friend. I just want to make sure that you know what you want and that you will not hurt her. Do I make myself clear?"

A heavy silence descended upon them. They were all shocked by how quickly she reverted back to the scary intense persona she had as the Mayor's wife, Professor Mills, and even the Evil Queen, but if they knew of the dark horrors Mal had suffered through, then they'd know she was completely justified. Ursula, having never witnessed the darker parts of Regina's fierce and intimidating personality, was completely at a loss for words. Her mouth hung open in shock for a moment before swallowing heavily.

"... Crystal…" Ursula finally spoke, clearing her throat. Regina smiled at her, dropping the intimidation act and getting to her feet.

"Good, now that we got that out of the way. I'm going to get a drink. Would you like a refill?" she asked Ursula, taking a glance down at the empty tumbler she held in her hand.

"Yes, please. Red wine," she replied, handing her the glass.

Regina stepped away and headed for the door, knowing she left a protective impression, just as she had wanted. Mal was afraid of sharing her past, and she had every right to. She wanted Ursula to know that Mal wasn't alone if she reacted in any way that would hurt her if she did decide to tell her the truth one day.

The island top was full of trays of food and goodies. She found the drink station set up on the counter. Just as she was pouring herself and Ursula some wine, Emma suddenly came in.

"What just happened out there?" she asked, frowning with her hands on her hips. Regina smirked, still too proud for her dramatic flare at times. Just because she went through therapy, learned to manage her anger, and rediscovered herself as a person, she still enjoyed being intimidating sometimes.

"I said what I said," she shrugged, still smirking as she redirected her gaze to the drinks. She felt Emma approach her from behind, and suddenly the pride and confidence fell away as a familiar fear crept up within her. She stiffened against Emma's embrace which had the blonde immediately pulling back and gently encouraging Regina to turn to face her. Once, this kind of confrontation would have been rough hands and cold angry words, and maybe even a slap to the face. Not a hug from behind and a soft reminder that she can't go around scaring her friends.

"Hey, Regina," Emma's gentle voice snapped her back from the unexpected flashback. Emma kissed her forehead as she finally met her green gaze.

"I'm sorry, I'll apologize to her. I just want her to be careful."

"No," Emma shook her head. "It's good that you warned her. I'm sure you have your reasons, just try not to be so intimidating next time. Do you want to tell me where your mind just went?"

"It's the usual issue, coming up to me from behind," she shrugged, not being completely honest. Emma shook her head at that, not believing her explanation for a second.

"No, you went somewhere as if you had a flashback."

"Leopold and I went to a lot of dinner parties and social gatherings. When I wasn't being paraded around on his arm, I was often left to my own devices. These parties were terribly boring and sometimes I amused myself with stirring up some trouble among the guests."

"Regina! You did not," she gasped, shocked but amused at the thought of Regina subtly turning guests against each other. Regina smirked, some of the pride returning in her eyes at the trouble she caused then.

"I would find a piece of scandalous information and use it as leverage to tear allies apart. These were rich and political figures. Most of them deserved it. Once Leopold caught on to what I was doing and after a big argument erupted from my latest victims, he had caught my eye and I knew by the furious look he gave me, that I was in trouble. This was earlier in my marriage. So I had yet to learn that if I got in trouble at parties, it was better to stay put in the crowd than to run to another room where he could just corner me. I panicked and rushed to the kitchen and started fixing myself a drink, just like now. He came up behind me… And well I don't think I need to tell you what happened next."

"You don't," Emma shook her head sadly, the humor in her eyes dying. She never liked hearing about the times Regina was hurt by his hand. She gently pulled her into her embrace and this time, Regina melted into it. She buried her face into the crook of her shoulder, and let her warm vanilla scent soothed her. Sometimes Emma knew that all she needed was to be held after having a flashback or even a nightmare.

They soon decided to head back outside. Ruby had joined Mary Margaret and David, leaving Henry alone with Ursula. They made it back to their seat and as Regina handed over her drink, she took this opportunity to apologize. Maybe she was a bit overboard with her protectiveness.

"I want to apologize about earlier. Sometimes I get intense when it comes to protecting the people I love."

"Tell me about it, she nearly drove Ma out of town for me."

"Henry!" Regina glared at him which had him immediately apologizing and getting up to let them talk.

"There's nothing wrong with being protective, Regina. I'm glad she has a friend like you. I realized she doesn't open up easily to a lot of people, me included. I have a strong feeling that there's a reason for it, and I also get the feeling that you know a lot more than anyone here. So you have every right to warn me about not hurting her, but I also have every right to prove to you that I will do everything in my power to make her feel happy and safe enough to confide in me. You can trust me."

She had been just as serious as Regina had been and they both seemed to come to an understanding. Regina nodded, satisfied and held her drink out, initiating an unspoken toast of understanding and truce.

Mal chose that moment to approach them finally, after spending time mingling with her guests. She affectionately swiped her fingers through Ursula's hair, looking down at her with warm blue eyes that reflected the flames of the pit. The drinks may have given her confidence, because she was normally reserved when it came to public affection.

Ursula looked up at her in surprise for her sudden approach and smiled softly at her. She took the hand that was now caressing her cheek and guided her around the seat to sit beside her. That small subtle act was Mal's way of accepting that she could no longer hide their blooming relationship. In fact their hands never parted, resting on the cushion between them.

"How is everyone doing over here? I'm sorry it took me so long to get over here."

"No need to apologize," Ursula reassured her. "You're just being a good hostess." Mal smiled, looking into Ursula's eyes for a moment as if they were silently communicating something between them. Ursula gave her an encouraging nod that had her taking a deep breath and once again directing her gaze to Regina and Emma.

"There is something I've been wanting to share," Mal started, her voice a bit timid. "Ursula and I are dating."

"I knew it!" Emma laughed, punching the air in excitement. Regina leaned forward and held her glass out to cheer her friend.

"Congratulations," she said with a genuine happy smile as Mal held her glass out and clinked it against hers. She was so ecstatic that Mal and Ursula had connected just as she thought they would. She was proud that even though Mal was nervous, she was overcoming it because almost a month ago just the mention of Ursula had her more than just blushing. She had been anxious and fearful for the reasons she had confided with Regina at dinner. The fact that she was sitting here, holding Ursula's hand was a huge step.

"When did it happen?" Emma asked.

"After I had moved into the loft, I asked Ursula to stay for dinner," Mal shared, her cheeks flushing a bit more and it wasn't from the heat of the flames between them. Mal was genuinely shy when it came to talking about her relationship.

"I asked her if it was a date and she became so flustered she didn't know how to respond to it," Ursula laughed. "We both realized we needed to stop denying the connection we have and we decided from then that we'd start dating and see where this goes."

Ursula and Mal met each other's gaze and smiled as if they were silently sharing some inside joke. It was as if they had known each other for more than just a few weeks since the night of Emma's birthday party. They already had such a deep connection with each other in such a short amount of time. Regina truly hoped their new relationship would grow and flourish. Mal deserved it so much after everything she had gone through.

The four of them fell easily into conversation, mostly talking about the rescue center. Ursula had some pretty crazy adventures rescuing animals out on the marina, the surrounding beaches or even out on a boat in the middle of the ocean. She'd find herself in some pretty gnarly situations just to reach a trapped or wounded animal.

"The next time I get a call, you can come with me," Ursula said to Mal which had the woman scoffing in amused disbelief.

"Me, out there on a boat? I don't think so, dear."

"It'll be fun and you might even get to see dolphins," Ursula winked at her. "Plus, you'll get to help in a rescue, and if the animal is well enough to be released after recovery, you'll get to see it run free with a second chance at life. If you look at it with a different perspective, it's almost like your practice. You help people and then send them back home with a second chance and a healthy outlook on their life."

Something within Mal dimmed. Her eyes glazed over as if something heavy came to mind. She pulled her hand from Ursula's. Ursula turned to her, watching her in concern as she took a nervous sip from her drink with trembling fingers.

"You ok?" Ursula checked in, her brow worried.

Mal nodded at her, giving her an assuring smile. The heavy look in her eyes had faded and they instead sparkled with the flames of the fire. Regina wasn't even sure if she had seen the change of expression on her face. It was gone as quickly as it came. Mal usually always held herself in confidence, but she also never let people see her emotions. Regina had noticed it when she had been at the cabin, but now, here in Storybrooke she could see the wall starting to crumble. Whatever had happened in her last case had to be the reason.

Ursula frowned in disbelief, but didn't push her. Emma eased the tension by deviating from the topic. She brought up a situation at the station that had them laughing and talking again. Although, as Regina listened to her girlfriend speak, she still couldn't stop thinking about Mal's strange behavior. This morning, she had said she needed to handle things before she'd eventually find out. Now she was more than just worried. She was afraid, because whatever had happened, had shakened Mal so much that her resolve was slipping.

As the night came to an end, Emma, Regina and Henry were few of the last to leave. Mal walked them out to the front porch. She seemed to be in good spirits, since the weird reaction she had at the firepit. Although, Regina figured it was probably because she had a little more alcohol in her to help her relax.

"Thank you for coming," Mal said, hugging each of them.

"Thank you for inviting us. You have such a beautiful place here," Emma said, looking out into the view for a moment. The beach was lit up by lampposts and the white foam of the waves could be seen amidst the darkness. They could even see the lights of the pier and the marina out in the distance. "How long are you going to be staying?"

"Maybe until the summer," Mal shrugged. "I'm not so sure how long…." She stopped and took a deep breath. Irritation flashed in her eyes as if she were annoyed that she had almost said something she shouldn't. The drinks had definitely made her more relaxed enough to reveal things she didn't want shared.

Emma frowned, confused and was just about to ask what she meant when Regina immediately placed her hand on her arm and shook her head. Mal sighed in relief. Whatever it was that was happening, Regina didn't want Mal to confide in them due to having too many drinks. Emma seemed to get the message, because she nodded and then fixed Mal with a determined gaze. Henry was watching all this with a concerned fascination.

"Mal, are you in trouble?" Emma asked straight out instead. Mal looked shocked for a moment, flustered and unsure of what to say. Her cheeks grew red as she fumbled for an answer.

"Hey," Regina took her hand. "You don't have to tell us what happened. Are you in trouble?"

"Yes," she whispered, unable to hide any longer. Her eyes glazed over with unshed tears. The small confession broke Regina's heart and she wanted to do everything in her power to help in some way. She wished she would confide in them, but knew she would have to let Mal decide when she was ready. She knew it wasn't good. She knew how hard Mal worked for her career and to suddenly not work at the cabin was a major red flag that something was wrong.

"I can help you," Emma urged. "I have connections from when I was a bail bonds person. I know how to dig up information on people that can hurt them back. I've gotten people out of some tricky situations."

"I have lawyers on this right now, but thank you, Emma. I'll consider your offer if needed," she nodded, her voice cool as she attempted to pull herself together. "I've said too much."

"Emma, Henry can you give us a moment please?" Regina asked, wanting a moment alone with her friend. Emma nodded, and led Henry down the steps and over to the bug. The moment they were alone, Regina looked at Mal to see her cool exterior had come down. Her eyes were shining once again, and to her surprise, she looked afraid.

"I don't know what is going on, but I know it's bad. I know it has to do with your last case and why you're staying in Storybrooke. You don't have to go through it alone. You've helped so many people, maybe it's time you let someone help you too."

Mal turned away from her, leaning on the rail and looking out into the ocean. It was as if she were at war with herself. As if she were deciding whether she should finally tell her the truth.

"Not tonight," she whispered so quietly, her voice was almost lost in the sound of the dark and heavy waves.

Regina came up to her so that she was standing right beside her. Somehow, she knew Mal trusted her enough to share her burden, but now wasn't the time and she would respect that. She placed her hand on top of hers that gripped the rail so tightly, even in the moonlight and the soft light coming from the lanterns, she could see her knuckles turning white. Mal immediately turned her gaze towards her, and to Regina's complete shock, heavy tears were sliding down her cheeks.

This woman who has been nothing, but the epitome of strength, was breaking down before her with grief clouded eyes and silent sobs that were washed away by the sound of breaking waves against the shoreline. All Regina could do in this moment of rare vulnerability was to stand by Mal as a pillar of strength as she had once done with her, and with so many others.