"So," said Bogo, "who thinks I should skip assigning parking duty today?" Every paw in the bullpen went up. "Well, it's a shame this isn't a democracy, now isn't it?"

Shuffling a few papers on his podium, the buffalo removed his reading glasses, placed them in his shirt pocket, and regarded the room full of anxious officers as they waited for him to hand out Precinct One's most mind-numbing and soul-crushing job. "Now, let me see…"

Usually there would be someone on the 'naughty list' who would jump on that grenade for the rest of the squad, but things had been going almost unnaturally well lately. This meant that, in the absence of a valid reason, he'd have to go looking for one.

As a result, any one of his officers could find themselves paying for some minor transgression they'd believed - or rather, hoped – had gone unnoticed.

"And the winner is…" He let the tension build for a few more minutes before he dropped the axe. "Officer Wolford."

"What?! Why me?!" The lupine officer blurted before he could stop himself.

"Insubordination." Bogo answered succinctly. "Specifically, insubordinately questioning your assignment to parking duty. Dismissed."

Whining softly, Daniel Wolford dropped his head onto the table and tried to ignore the sound of his fellow officers shuffling out of the room. After a few moments of self-pity, he rose to his feet and dragged himself to the front desk to collect his 'specialized equipment.'

The moment Clawhauser saw Wolford approaching, he immediately recognized the aura of gloom that surrounded the wolf. Reaching under the desk, he retrieved a ticket printer, reflective vest, the keys to the 'MeterMobile' and of course, the...

"No."

The cheetah winced at the sharp tone. "It's not an option, Danny. Sorry."

The wolf shook his head. "Nope. Won't do it."

Clawhauser just shrugged and held out the infamous meter maid hat. "You know what happens if you don't wear it."

He did know what would happen, too. An officer who failed to wear the hat while on parking duty would have to wear it every day for a month after, or else face a possible suspension. So, with a long-suffering sigh, Daniel lifted the hat from the cheetah's paws and reluctantly perched it between his ears.

"It doesn't look as bad as you think." Clawhauser reassured him.

"He's right." They both turned to the fox that had appeared beside them. "It actually looks way, way worse."

"Thanks, Nick. That's really great to hear."

"Motivation is my specialty, buddy." Nick smiled. "Feel like grabbing a beer after work?"

"I dunno, man. The bills really took a bite out of my last pay cheque."

"Don't worry about it. I'll cover you."

Daniel resisted the urge to cringe at his friend's offer. ZPD officers were well paid, but there were times he really envied Hopps and Wilde. Despite being new officers and near the bottom of the pay scale, the relatively small amount of food and living space they needed meant the pair could stretch their pay a lot further.

"Sure, if you're buying." Daniel sighed, nodding. "I have a feeling that I'm gonna need it."

"Okay. Just remember to wear the orange vest. Ladies love the orange vest." Nick winked.

Rolling his eyes, Daniel turned away from the laughing fox and headed for the motor pool.

He didn't bother trying to squeeze himself into the electric cart that was reserved for parking duty. Short of removing a few bones, there was no way he was going to fit. Instead, he threw everything he'd need into a patrol bag and let dispatch know he'd be headed out on foot. The precinct record for citations issued in single shift was unquestionably held by Hopps; a staggering three hundred and eighty-seven, with a rumor that she'd issued the first two hundred before noon. Daniel, on the other hand, was just aiming for a respectable one hundred.

Stepping out into the bright sunshine, he slipped his sunglasses on and tried to think positive thoughts. "Maybe this won't be so bad."

Several hours later, Daniel found himself dealing with the eighth temper tantrum that day.

"You're just another jackboot tryin' to squeeze some money out of a law-abiding mammal!" The overweight boar screamed, waving the parking citation in the air. "I'm not paying this!"

"Sir, if you'd like to contest your ticket, you'll have to do so in traffic court. You just have to call the number on the back and arrange a hearing."

"You and your traffic court can go to hell! This is speciest oppression, plain and simple!" Balling up the ticket, the boar threw it at the bored-looking officer and stormed away.

Rolling his eyes, Daniel continued down Palm street and tried not to dwell on the latest barrage of verbal abuse. Part of him itched to turn around give the porcine asshole a piece of his mind, but at the end of the day it wouldn't solve anything. It was far more likely to make things worse.

It wasn't the insults or threats that made law enforcement so challenging; it was keeping a level head when all you wanted to do was lose your temper. It didn't sound too difficult when you heard it, but before he'd joined the ZPD Daniel never could have imagined how exhausting doing nothing could be.

As he turned the corner onto Fifth street, the wolf was so focused on checking the meters that he didn't notice the mammal sitting on the sidewalk - right until he almost stepped on them.

"Hey! Watch it, Danny!"

"Huh?" Snapped out of his brooding, he shook his head and smiled down at the grubby-looking jaguar. "Sorry, Dave. Didn't see you there."

"S'alright." The feline assured him as he peered at the peculiar headwear. "What's with the hat? You, like, a mail carrier now?"

"No, just playing meter maid for the day. You been keeping out of trouble?"

"Yup. Well, as much as I can be considering...y'know..." He gave the wolf a conspiratorial look. "...them."

Fifth Street Dave was a regular sight in the Savannah Central district and was, despite his unwavering conviction that Zootopia was being systematically taken over by a race of parasitic brain-worms, about as well-respected as a homeless mammal could be. The jaguar rarely caused any kind of disturbance, opting to spend his days sitting at the corner of Fifth and Palm, enjoying the sunshine and trying to hand out flyers warning of the impending doom.

"Oh? And what are 'they' up to these days?"

"Ugh. Another tax hike." Dave snorted. "Can you believe it? Like it's not enough to just strip us of our free will. That's why I don't pay taxes. You shouldn't either."

"If only..." Daniel muttered. "So other than that, anything interesting going on?"

"Well, now that you mention it I did see...hang on." Grabbing a homemade flyer from the stack beside him, Dave thrust it emphatically at a passing oryx. "THE INVASION HAS BEGUN, BROTHER! IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO LIBERATE OURSELVES FROM THEIR MALEVOLENT TYRANNY!"

The oryx glanced uneasily between Dave and the nearby police officer. Daniel just rolled his eyes slightly, and gave the startled mammal a reassuring smile. As the oryx rushed away, Dave leapt to his feet and waved the flyer in the air. "FINE, BE THAT WAY! BUT DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN THEY ENSLAVE YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS!"

"Easy, Dave." The wolf cautioned, taking hold of the jaguar's shoulder. "Bring it down a notch."

The homeless mammal at least had the grace to look abashed.

"Malevolent tyranny?"

"I found a thesaurus the other day. Is it too much? I still want to be taken seriously."

"I don't think it'll change how seriously mammals take you."

Looking relieved, the jaguar settled back to the ground and took a moment to check his overturned hat for any new change; finding none, he fell back against the wall with a sigh. A sudden pang of pity for the malnourished-looking cat prompted Daniel to pull out his threadbare wallet and retrieve a slightly worn looking Buga-Burger gift certificate. "Here. Get yourself something to eat."

"You're not going to use it?"

"No. I got it as a gift...sort of. It's a long story." Daniel chuckled. "You had something to tell me?"

"Right! So there's this plumbing van over on Seventh, right across the street from the...thing...um..." Dave snapped his claws a couple of times. "The place with the lines and the room with the money?"

"You mean the bank?"

"Right! The bank! Anyway, it hasn't moved in, like, three days. The van, I mean. Not the bank. Though I guess the bank hasn't moved in the last three days, either."

"Which one?"

"Which what?"

"Dave, there are about twenty banks on Seventh; it's right in the middle of the financial district. Which bank is the van in front of?"

"Oh, uh, the big one? The one at Seventh and Eucalyptus where all the hamsters work." Dave furrowed his brow in concentration. "What time is it? If it's almost five, there'll be this fox out front selling pawpsicles."

Daniel chuckled briefly. "Okay. I think I know the one you mean."

"Right. So, like, Magda was telling me that even though no one gets in or out, the meter is always paid up."

"Magda...Magda..." Daniel tried to place the name. "Wait, isn't she that llama who's always yelling at birds in the park?"

"That's her." Dave nodded. "She's not crazy, though. She just really hates birds."

"Naturally." He muttered, scratching his muzzle thoughtfully. "I'll look into it. Thanks for the heads up."

"No problem, Danny. Don't let the brain-worms enslave you."

"Right back at ya, Dave."

Although Daniel had skipped several expired meters on the way to the heart of Zootopia's financial quarter, he was certain that Chief Bogo would understand that it was for a good reason. He kept telling himself that he was following up on a potential lead rather than just ducking parking duty.

It didn't take him long to reach Seventh and Eucalyptus. Peeking around the corner, he easily spotted the van Dave had described. There didn't seem to be anything particularly suspicious going on – nothing he could justify calling in, at any rate. Even so, if it'd been parked in the same spot for three days then that meant something was off.

The vehicle was about the right size for a mid-range mammal, mostly unremarkable except for the words 'Bobby's Plumbing & Drainage' emblazoned on the side. The plates and insurance tags were all up-to-date, and a quick check on his phone verified that it belonged to a legitimate business. Stepping closer, he glanced over the work permits lined up on the dashboard. They all appeared to be in order, indicating that the trades-mammals were there to fix a burst pipe at 1700-6904 West Seventh Street. Turning around, he regarded that very building - better known as the Lemming Brothers Bank.

The strange thing was, every floor above the fifth was specifically sized for rodents, so why would a van built for a mammal his size be assigned to a repair job on the seventeenth floor? Glancing down to review the permit details, he was considering calling the business to verify the work order when he was interrupted by an unexpected shout.

"Hey, Meter Mutt! Their parkin' ain't expired yet!" The irate-looking moose gestured angrily at the still-paid parking meter.

"I'm aware of that, sir. I'm checking their work permit."

"Well, quit picking on the working mammal!"

"Sir, I'm only..." He trailed off as his ears caught a faint scuffle from the van's interior.

"You're only what, Meter Mutt?"

The vehicle was silent again, but Daniel was certain of what he'd heard. Half turning toward the moose, he pointed one paw up the street as the other reached for his radio. "Move along, sir."

"Hey! You don't tell me what to..."

Pulling off the reflective vest back to reveal both his badge and his sidearm, Daniel leveled a glare on the suddenly quiet mammal.

"I...I'll just move along."

"Yeah, you do that." Daniel moved around to the back of the vehicle, ears alert and searching for another sound. Not taking his eyes off the van, he keyed his radio and spoke softly into the sensitive mic. "This is Officer Wolford. I have a 10-37 at 6904 West Seventh. Requesting backup to my location."

"10-4, Wolford. Backup is on the way."

"Copy." He responded shortly. Dropping his bag on the sidewalk, he paused to stuff the meter-maid hat inside. Then, smoothly drawing his taser from its holster, he grasped the handle on the van's rear door and threw the door open. "ZPD! Nobody move!"

Daniel suddenly found himself eye-to-eye with three very startled-looking coyotes in dirt-stained coveralls. A brief glance downward revealed that part of the van's floor had been cut away, exposing an open utility passage entrance and a fair amount of appropriately-sized tunneling gear.

However, it was the open bag behind them practically filled with twenty-five-thousand buck bearer bonds that really caught his attention - so much so that he was almost taken off guard when one of the coyotes lunged at him. Hammer in paw, the audacious pup clearly thought he'd gotten the drop on the ZPD officer. A few seconds later, the smaller mammal found himself flat against the floor of the van with one arm twisted firmly behind him.

"That's about enough of that." Daniel growled. "You're all under arrest. Step out of the vehicle and keep your paws where I can see them."

He kept a close eye on the other two as he pulled a pair of flexicuffs from his belt, securing the paws of his would-be attacker before moving on to the other two.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and may be used against you in a court of la..."

"It doesn't have to go down like this, officer." The oldest of the three coyotes interrupted, peering at Daniel over his shoulder.

"You have the right to an attorney."

The coyote flicked his snout toward the bag full of bonds, as if to remind Daniel of their existence. "Lotta money, ain't it?"

"If you cannot afford an attorney." Daniel growled. "One will be provided for you."

"Lemme ask you somethin', officer. How many other times you been called a Meter Mutt today?"

"Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?"

"I'm just askin' you, is it worth it?"

"Sir, do you understand the rights I have just read to you?" He repeated.

"Tell you what...you let us walk away, and I'll make sure we drop a few bonds when we go. What do you say, huh? Imagine what you could do with that kind of money."

For a brief second, Daniel couldn't help but imagine what he could do. Even one of those bearer bonds would be enough to pay for the much-needed repairs on his parent's home and still have something left over to put toward his sister's college fund. The idea was as enticing as it was shameful, and came with the momentary urge to introduce the coyote's face to the pavement.

"You have the right to remain silent, sir." Taking a deep breath, he lined the would-be robbers up against the side of the vehicle, double-checked the small flexicuffs that held the offending mammal's paws in place, and reached up to key his radio. "I strongly suggest you take advantage of that."

"Seriously, though." Watching as the three coyotes were escorted to processing, Delgato couldn't help but shake his head in amazement. "How in the hell did you stumble onto this one?"

"I didn't do anything special." Daniel shrugged. "I got a tip, followed up on it, kept my eyes open and listened to my instincts. The rigged parking meter was kind of a giveaway, though."

"Oh, is that all?" The lion rolled his eyes. "C'mon, man. Take a little more credit."

"He's quite right, Officer Wolford." The pair jumped as the Chief sidled up beside them; the buffalo was shockingly light on his hooves for a mammal his size. "You're to be commended for such excellent work."

"Thank you, sir."

"Even though you were on parking duty and your job was to write tickets." The buffalo added menacingly, peering down at the smaller officer. "And that - at the time of the arrest – you had deliberately removed the mandatory headwear issued to all parking citation officers."

Taken off guard, the wolf turned to gawk at his superior. "W-what?! I didn't..."

"Before you say anything, ask yourself whether the traffic cameras will back up your story."

"But I...there were...it was a bank robbery!"

"Now, now. I'm not entirely heartless. I'm not going to make you wear the hat for a month." Bogo assured him. "You'll just be wearing it tomorrow. On parking duty."

No one...no one...escapes the hat.

Note: I'd like to take a break from my customary radio silence to thank some folks: CasuallyCompetent, CombatEngineer, DrummerMax64, Erinnyes, Kittah4, Popopoyotl, Pyrophoricity, Robert Escher, and Transformers 0. Every complement, thought, criticism, suggestion and word of support has been priceless to me!

I'm also pleased to announce that Robert Escher - talented writer and fellow left-coaster - is going to be guest-writing a future glimpse, Collect. I'm excited to see what he'll have to show us!