You all are getting spoiled with these fast uploads. I can't promise they'll continue. But, for now, enjoy.

Still fleshing everyone out, but I hope you all like it anyway.

Happy reading

You can do better. Bo hadn't been able to get Lauren's voice out of her head since they had all left. Once back, Bo had texted Rainer and tried to get out of meeting up, but it was quickly apparent that it was just going to lead to a fight, so she texted him to meet her at the bar, instead of her and Kenzi's apartment. At least that would appease Kenzi slightly.

You can do better.

Bo rubbed a hand across her forehead as if that would dislodge the memory.

Lauren was stunning – there really wasn't any other way around it. I mean, on seeing her, the first thought that shot through Bo's head was wow, you're really hot, have you ever kissed a girl? which was inappropriate in oh so many ways.

More than just thinking she was gorgeous, though, Bo had gotten a good feeling from Lauren. It was something…intangible. Ineffable. Meeting her had felt somehow important, significant, like this was someone that Bo was simply supposed to know.

And Lauren was kind. Yes, Bo had known her for roughly one hundred and twenty minutes, but still, she could tell. Bo had an instinct for these sorts of things, it was part of her job to tell quickly who was real and who was a con. It was the way she looked directly at people when she spoke to them, Bo decided. She made sure you knew that she was interested in talking to you. That she was listening to you. It was a sign of respect for the person across from her.

Or maybe it was the way she moved her hands. Weirdly, Bo had noticed that too. She definitely had a doctor's hands – quick, precise movements, no wasted or unnecessary motion. And when she talked to people, she rarely touched them, but on the few times that she did her touch was always purposeful, direct, meaningful. She touched lightly, gently, comfortingly.

It could have been the volume of her voice. Lauren had a way of speaking that was never overly loud or soft – always the right volume to hear, never more than it needed to be.

She was clearly brilliant – a doctor, obviously, but with a calm and clear command of seemingly any subject that came up. And yet, despite that, she was never condescending or belittling. If she said something that someone didn't understand, she had a way of explaining what she meant while seeming somehow self-depreciating, as if she were odd for knowing it, and you were the normal one. She set other people at ease.

She was unique, seemingly without guile, but not gullible, not a pushover. Strong. Bo remembered the way she had moved around the house, straightening absentmindedly without seeming to even notice it herself, certainly not drawing the attention of others to it. So, she was organized, then. Orderly. Together. Controlled.

Maybe Bo was thinking about this too much.

What would it take to break that control?

Yeah, she was definitely thinking about this too much.

Bo sighed and ordered a drink from Karl, a bartender they had hired a few months ago, and grabbed a booth near the back while Kenzi went upstairs to their apartment. Bo sat and nursed her drink while she waited for Rainer.

Rainer strolled in a few minutes later, looking around the bar until his eyes hit Bo. When they did, he smiled in a sad way, in a way that didn't reach his eyes, and Bo felt herself deflate for a second, just a little bit.

"Hey," she said as he slid in across from her.

"Hey back."

They sat in awkward silence for a moment.

"You've been avoiding my calls." He said it as a statement, not a question, but there was no anger in his voice.

"I've been busy," Bo deflected.

She short burst of a laugh broke from him, his eyes on the table. "What are we doing, Bo?"

She sighed. "Rainer, you know me. You've known me, for years. I'm not good at relationships, I never have been."

He nodded, wordlessly, still not looking up.

She touched his hand, and he looked up into her eyes. "I am trying."

"I want to believe you, Bo. I really do. But it's more than that. It's more than you just being independent or whatever. I've been trying to see you, to talk to you, for weeks, and always there's some reason why you can't, or you're busy, or you have work or a new big case, and I get that, I get that life is messy, but dammit, Bo…" he shook his head, dropping his eyes again.

Bo sat, not saying anything.

"I love you, Bo."

"Rainer…"

He smiled and put his hand up. "Don't, okay?" He dropped his hands into his lap. "You're my destiny. You're my future. I know that. I know it. But you just…I want to live with you, Bo. I want to marry you. I don't want to have to call and set up times to see you, I want to just come home and see you. Everyday."

"I'm not that girl, Rainer."

"No. You're…Bo. You're tough. You don't need anyone. But, see, I need you. That's the problem." He shook his head and smiled. "You know, I think you could stare down Hades himself and reduce him to a shimmering mist. But I can't, Bo. Not alone. Not without you."

Bo leaned back in the booth, not knowing what she should say. Horribly, the first thing she thought about was how different Rainer seemed than Lauren. She forced herself to stop – this wasn't the time for that.

He blew out a breath, composing himself. "Alright, that got heavy," he said with a smile. "Okay, how about this. We start over. You and me. I'll be less intense. You can try to be more…you can keep trying. I'll even try to make things right with your friends. Let's give this a real shot, okay? Be together. Try."

Bo looked at him quietly for another moment, her brain at war with itself. No, her mind told her. You've been down this road. We've done this before, and it never works. And simultaneously her brain echoed maybe this time we could make it work. One more try. Once more, just to give it a fighting chance. Just try.

"A real shot," Bo echoed.

They sat drinking for a while longer, and by 12:30 Rainer had left to go home. They hadn't discussed him coming upstairs, which was probably for the best. When she walked in the living room, Kenzi was still awake and sitting on the couch, playing video games. When Bo walked in she looked up and her face visibly relaxed when she saw Bo was alone.

"Clear skies?" she asked as Bo flopped down beside her.

"Har, har, har," Bo fake laughed. "And no. Still Rainer."

Kenzi dropped the controller, pausing her game. "Can I just ask why? 'Cause I really don't get it."

Bo sighed. "He's just…Rainer, Kenz. I don't know, I can't explain it either."

Kenzi picked the controller back up, resuming her game. "You don't love him."

"Maybe I could."

"It's been two years, Bo, I think if it was going to happen it would have by now."

"Not everyone is Dyson and Ciara, or you and Nate."

"Lauren's cute."

"That was a hell of a non-sequitur."

Kenzi shrugged. "I'm just sayin'. It's been a while since you gave the girls a shot. And we all already like her."

"I haven't been dating girls because girls are too emotional. I don't have time for that."

"Oh, and Mr. 'You're my Destiny' Rainer isn't emotional? Plus, Lauren doesn't seem like that. And, to hit rewind for a second, I thought the reason you hadn't been dating girls was because of Rainer."

"Well, yeah, that too…"

"No, not 'that too.' You're biding your time with Rainer because you don't want to be alone for some reason, even though you seem more alone when you're with him then when you're actually alone."

"He loves me, Kenz."

"Do you love him?"

Bo hesitated. "I should." She sighed. "And, anyway, I don't see what Lauren has to do with this. For all we know she's all about the dudes."

Kenzi shrugged. "Yeah. Maybe. But I don't think so. I have a sense about these things."

Bo shook her head. "Alright, Miss Cleo, thank you for the free reading, but I am going to bed."

Kenzi gave her vague waive and goodnight, already sucked back into her game.

Bo went to her bedroom, changed, washed her face, and settled into bed, all the while trying to remind herself that she was supposed to be thinking about Rainer, not about Lauren, not about the way her shoulder curved into her neck, not about the way her house smelled like clean cotton sheets, not about the way Bo's heart beat faster when she smiled.

Yeah, okay, so Bo was never going to love Rainer. She knew that. She wasn't crazy. But the fact was that Rainer loved her, and it was nice to just have that kind of person in her life. Sure, she had friends, but the truth was she was closest to Dyson and Kenzi, and they had Ciara and Nate, and well, that gave them less time for her. That wasn't a bad thing – really, it was how it should be. Since Dyson had started dating Ciara he seemed…lighter. He smiled faster. He made more jokes. Bo could tell when Ciara was calling, because Dyson would unconsciously light up. What made it even better, one look at Ciara showed that she felt the same way.

And Kenzi – Kenzi had always been guarded. Not with Bo, really, they had been through so much shit together, but with the world. Kenzi had tried to make herself untouchable. When she met Nate, she initially had pushed him away, acting annoyed by him. But Nate had laughed off her hardness, her guardedness, and in the weirdest way just called her out on her bullshit.

Bo remembered the Saturday afternoon when she and Kenzi were just hanging out, watching something stupid, and Nate had just shown up at the door, talking about something, Bo didn't remember what exactly. Kenzi had tried to act bothered, tried to act like she wanted to kick Nate out of the apartment. What Bo really remembered is how Nate looked up with that 1000 watt grin and said "stop lying, you know you're glad I'm here," and kissed Kenzi on the cheek, immediately going back to what he was talking about.

Bo had never seen Kenzi look so stunned. But after that, Nate was just there, and Kenzi never seemed to really want to push him away again. She teased him, of course, but the tone was markedly different. Kenzi was hooked. It made Bo happy.

The truth was Bo was used to having romantic partners. Ever since she was young, she never had a problem find a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or a friend with benefits, or whatever else. When she got to law school and her time was increasingly occupied, she found it harder and harder to make time for the 'relationship' part, but still, she wasn't lonely often.

After graduation and the hell of taking the bar exam she'd started working, and since that time her ability to have a 'relationship' was practically at zero. Around that time she was dating Ryan, a trust fund kid with a mischievous nature. He'd been fun, honestly, and he hadn't expected Bo to be a 'relationship' girl, and Bo was attracted to him so it worked well. He was attracted to Bo, too. And to almost everyone else he saw. They had broken up, but he still came around from time to time, just enough to remind her and her friends that he was kind of an ass. Bo wouldn't admit it to her friends, but some part of her still liked him, not as a boyfriend, but as a person. He was immature, yes, and slept around too much, but he could make Bo laugh. Not that that was enough, but still.

She'd gone out with girls for a while, but inevitably someone ended up hurt, usually the other girl. She was still reeling from a particularly nasty relationship when she first met Rainer. And he was…uncomplicated. He had just gotten out of something serious, he told her, and he just wanted to have some fun. No commitments. No feelings. Just fun.

Her friends told her that was a terrible idea. She didn't listen.

Three months in he started changing his mind. He liked Bo. He wanted to try the relationship thing again. Bo had said no, she wasn't interested in that, and couldn't they just keep going the way they were? And so he had agreed.

For a while.

About three more months went by before the topic came up again. This time they argued. Bo, because this isn't what they agreed to, and Kevin, because he wanted Bo to admit this was more, but ultimately he apologized and they resumed their casual dating.

For a while.

A month later they had a huge blowout and Bo dumped him. Rainer had been frantic. He loved Bo, he decided, and he needed to win her back. He started calling. Texting. Bo ignored him. He started calling Bo's friends, trying to get her to talk to him. Bo ignored him.

A few months later they ran into each other at a bar. He apologized, they started talking, and the next morning they woke up together unsure of what they were now. Bo asked if he could be casual. He said he could.

For a while.

When he announced for the third time that he wanted this to be real, they hadn't fought. Bo decided maybe he was right – maybe it was time for a real relationship again. She enjoyed Rainer. The sex was good. He could be funny. He was easy to talk to. They liked the same movies. So she decided to give this another shot, and things went well.

For a while.

A longer while than before, if she was being honest. They still fought, but it was relationship fighting. Normal fighting. Healthy, even. Bo started to believe she could do this – maybe this was it? She could do the relationship thing. They were in a good place.

For a while.

Rainer had first floated the idea of living together about six months ago. He did it casually, quietly, knowing it would probably throw her off. It did. They broke up, but got back together a week later when he apologized and said he knew it wasn't right for her. He asked her again about three months after that. This time she hadn't bothered to answer him. She started being busier at work. She started talking to him less. They argued more often. And then, three weeks ago, the proposal.

She hadn't told her friends what was going on with them. They knew she and Rainer were fighting, but they didn't know why. They just thought Rainer was a dick. They didn't know that he was the one trying to make things work. They didn't know that he wanted to move forward with Bo. They didn't know that Bo was being the dick. So they hated him.

Rainer didn't know that Bo hadn't told her friends the details of their issues. He assumed that her friends were trying to steer her away from him. So he hated them.

She knew this was a bad idea, okay? She got that. But what if by some miracle this time something flipped and she could make it work with him? She was attracted to him. She enjoyed him, when they were getting along. And, honestly, look at the shit she had put him through, and he was still willing to make this work. That had to be a sign of longevity, right?

So, resolved. She would do this. She would make this happen. Forget that Lauren had stopped her heart for a minute – not that it mattered, because there was no verification that Lauren was either interested or available. She could love Rainer, right? The infrastructure was already there. All she had to do fill it out, make it work. And she would.

For a while.

Feel free to review and let me know how you are feeling about how this is going