Istanbul Not Constantinople

Part 1

By TalosLives & CrackedInkWell

Based on EMositeCC's AngelAUSeries

In the deepest parts of the jungles in Brazil, during the night of the full moon, a daring, brave adventurer set forth to do what few dare to do: discover the truth of the mysteries of their world. With his machete chopping down the vines and bushes in his way, Dr. Oswald Jones marched forward without a hint of fear on his face while determination sparkled in his eyes and flashlight in hand. The man was in his late 30s, with a heavy beard that one could mistake for a castaway on an island. His rugged adventure clothing looked like he had been traveling for quite a while. There was mud, sweat, and maybe one or two collections of feces from monkeys when he got a too close to their territory, but none of that stopped him from his quest.

He turned to face the camera following him all this time. "We're getting close to the location right now."

Sitting on a log, he took out his canteen and doused himself with water before sipping a bit. Once he finished he turned back to the camera focused on him. "For those of you who just joined us, we've been researching the south jungles of Brazil. Near a set of ancient ruins that were said to have been made by an ancient civilization that was gone long before Western colonizers arrived in Brazil. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal for us, but we've heard rumors from the locals that there might have been strange sounds, lights, and even voices nearby at night."

He leaned forward dramatically. "We have reason to believe that, based on these ancient people's strange architecture and star worship, their civilization was actually visited by… aliens."

He paused for dramatic effect.

"We know the theories. That our great ancient civilizations were possibly the hosts of interstellar travelers with great wisdom and power. The pyramids. Stonehenge. Easter Island. These locations hint that we've been visited before and may be revisited."

He started walking forward and looked around as if expecting trouble. "Some might say that what I'm doing is dangerous. Or even foolish. But lots of great men have been called that in history. And those men did what they did because they dared to dream. To go forward without fear. And I, Dr. Oswald Jones, Xenologist Expert. Will..."

He paused and turned to the left. "Wait, did you see that?"

The camera turns to the direction he is facing. Zooming in, they can see strange lights dancing around in the darkness further up as the thick bushes and trees hide what is happening. Dr. Oswald walks forward with excitement. "There! Something there! It's them!"

He rushes forward, a strange series of sounds and garbles being heard as the camera continues to follow him. "I can hear it! Words and sounds of an alien language! This is amazing!"

His voice dies when he reaches the clearing and sees what is happening. A set of ancient ruins was before them, and strange voices were being heard with bright lights in the middle. But that was thanks to the DJ's stage, where a hundred or so college students on spring break were dancing, shouting, drinking, and partying up to the synth band music playing. Their drunken screams and shouts of joy were echoing up in the jungle. Girls were getting down and shaking their money makers while guys were pumping their fists up while daring each other down another beer.

Dr. Oswald Jones stared at the scene before him with disbelief and a twitching eye as a young 20-year-old girl walked over and put a ring of flowers around his neck. "Come on! Party it up!"

She cheered and went back to the ground, where they were now mosh-pitting each other. Dr. Jones grumbled before facepalming. "Cut!"

The cameraman, a young 20s adult male with a light beard and wearing a Chicago Cubs baseball cap, turned his camera off and sighed. "Well, that was a waste. Are we at least gonna get drunk and party with the hot chicks?"

"Just shut up and head back to the van, Hank."

"Lame."

A few days later, Dr. Jones and his team returned to the former's summer home in Key West, Florida. The frustrated man was pacing back and forth with his team, watching him on the couch. Said team consisted of Hank, the Cameraman, who was more focused on his phone than anything else and seemed bored. Next to him was a nerdy-looking fella with spiky brown hair, oversized glasses, and holding a laptop close to him. He was Billy, a wormy-looking fella who was their top researcher for the locations of their show. Finally, there was a smiling African American girl named Cassie with braided hair, dressed in orange shorts and a tank top. She was their makeup artist and sound designer. Around the room were posters and advertisements for a YouTube show called "Dr. Jones Journey of The Truth!" The truth being about aliens and their impact on human civilization.

They have been doing this for nine months now, and you would think they would have had some success, but the small number of only 37 viewers and one subscriber on their YouTube channel answered that. Not to mention that they were not allowed to talk at universities anymore, with a few even having restraining orders on the group.

At least it wasn't as bad as the bans from certain countries like Egypt. It was not fun trying to explain to the authorities that they were searching for the hidden entrance to the Pyramids of Giza so they could activate the flying saucers to contact their makers.

"Ugh, that was the tenth site where we found nothing this month!" Dr. Jones complained as he sipped his coffee. "Nine months since we started this show, and yet we have nothing for our first real episode! We need something here, people! Something that can get us the views we need!"

"Oh!" Cassie held her hand up and smiled. "What about that iceberg in north Canada that is said to hold a spaceship!"

"They found it to be a frozen whale," Hank said as he continued to type.

"I think there were alien sightings outside the mountains of Scotland!" Billy suggested. "They say the spaceships crashed! We could always travel there and see if there is anything among the wreckage!"

"Turned out to be a crashed weather satellite," Hank pointed out again with a sigh.

"What about those online discussions about aliens invading from Mexico!" Dr. Jones asked.

"They're talking about illegal aliens. Not actual aliens," Hank rolled his eyes.

Dr. Jones growled at his cameraman. "You know, you could be a bit more positive and helpful here, Hank!"

"Hey, I only get paid to work the camera. Not to indulge your fantasies," Hank replied.

Facepalm, Dr. Jones walked over to his bar and poured some whiskey into his coffee. Sure, it was ten in the morning, but it was five o'clock somewhere. After a large gulp, he turned back to Billy. "Any helpful hints from your viewers?"

"Only that we can save on cryptocurrency if we click this link," Billy answered with a shrug. "Honestly, you couldn't be more obviously a fake if you tried. Who falls for that scam shit?"

"... Uh, yeah… who falls for it," Cassie nervously chuckled as she looked awhile while twiddling her thumbs.

"Fine!" Dr. Jones grumbled as he sat on his couch. "Just go through the usual online sites for anything worth investigating..."

"Isn't relying on info from Reddit what caused us to go to Brazil in the first place?" Hank pointed out.

"Hank, I don't pay you for advice so just shut up and continue your texting," Dr. Jones said as he drank from his mug again. Damnit, I need something! Anything! Bad enough, they kicked me out of the university for my theories. Now I'm stuck living on my pension with these three college rejects as my so-called staff! If there is a higher power in this universe, please give me something!

"Hey, I think I got something," Billy said as he clicked a few keys on his keyboard.

Cassie leaned forward with eagerness. "What is it?!"

"Apparently, someone in Turkey has been noticing that they are seeing winged creatures hanging around the area for some reason," Billy said as he showed blurry images of winged creatures with strange circles over their heads. "They've been there for two weeks now and they've been darting from building to building."

"What are they?" Cassie asked.

"Nobody knows. A few people thought they were birds, but they got horns on them," Billy pointed out.

"Hmm," Dr. Jones looked closer and grinned. "I got it! These must be alien scouts observing the area for a future planned invasion! It's like my second theory about alien factions seeking to use Earth as a staging ground as a base for their various intergalactic secret wars against each other!"

He pointed to Billy and said, "Where in Turkey were these taken place?!"

"Last seen? Looks like at the Hagia Sophia," Billy answered.

Getting on top of his coffee table, Dr. Jones pointed up in the sky. "That is where we shall go! We shall find these aliens! Capture them! And have them spill the beans of their master's plans to the world on our website! Come, team! We're going to Constantinople!"

"Uh, it's called Istanbul, Boss? It hasn't been Constantinople since 1453," Hank corrected him.

"Whatever! To the airport!"

Roughly fifteen hours of making a last-minute booking; being crammed in economy class with hours of screaming babies; four airports; a sleepless night of having to sleep sitting up with the endless drone of engines; surviving on nothing but complimentary peanuts and water - they made it to the ancient city of Istanbul. Of course, given how zombie-like they were when they finally landed, they hailed a taxi to crash at their hotel. Unfortunately, their driver barely understood what they were saying and dropped them off at a toothpaste factory. Forcing them to make the long march on foot through the streets for several blocks until they finally got to the hotel and fell asleep on the couch.

The following day, Dr. Jones's team was awake enough to finally get started. Even before they reached the Hagia Sophia, Hank had recorded plenty of stock footage for the episode, from getting a skyline shot from the top of their hotel to the local bars they passed along the way. It was a kaleidoscope of modern cars and shops sandwiched between remnants of ancient Byzantine and Ottoman churches, mosques, homes, markets, and ancient city walls.

Yet, for Dr. Jones, they weren't here for sightseeing. They were here for only one thing - proof that aliens were here. And the best way, in his mind, was to investigate the last known location where they were seen. Seeing the Hagia Sophia, he could see why aliens might have made this a secret base.

The reason is that the building itself is massive. This ancient church turned mosque turned museum turned kinda-sorta-mosque again had more than plenty of space if anything was trying to hide there. Underneath the enormous dome that seemed to just float in mid-air, the titanic mosaic gilded space had several floors and rooms restricted to tourists. He reasoned that if there was any place for extraterrestrial spies to hide out in, it was probably here.

"Of course, things changed after the Ottoman conquest of 1453." Their tour guide said. Together with other Americans from Ohio, they were currently going around in the gardens in the shadow of the building. Their Turkish guide pointed to one of the minarets, "The Ottomans were allowed to pillage the city for three days before Sultan Mehmed the Second had set foot in the church. While heavily damaged, he was so impressed that instead of tearing it down, he repaired it and proclaimed that this would be the new imperial mosque. Construction of these minarets that you see shortly began and were finished about a century later. These were to serve both the support of the dome and the calling to prayer for Muslims."

For forty minutes, Dr. Jones and his team followed the tour guide, hoping to get any clue about the building that might lead them to the aliens. As in-depth as their guide was, going into the history of the Hagia Sophia, it wasn't giving them anything to work with. Billy was trying to take notes, but he realized a few minutes in that they weren't helpful. Hank had to fight to stay awake despite having the camera ready for the moment their tour guide would say something worth recording. Cassie tried to keep herself occupied with a stick of bubble gum. And Dr. Jones was getting impatient.

"Before we go further, does anyone have any questions?"

Dr. Jones raised his hand. "Yes, two of them. With a structure this big, have any hidden rooms ever been found inside?"

"I… I don't understand what you mean. As Hagia Sophia had been a church and a mosque, there had never been a hidden room. We know what the layout is, and to my knowledge, except for a few rooms being restored, there has never been a hidden room inside. Even the minarets are staircases with a single room at the top."

"Oookay…" Well, there went that theory. "But what about winged creatures? Has anyone seen them recently at the Hagia Sophia?"

"Winged creatures…" The tour guide tapped his chin when, at the realization, he shaped his fingers. "Ah, yes! There have been."

" Hank, start rolling, " Dr. Jones nudged his cameraman. "And where have these winged creatures been seen?"

"In the history of Hagia Sophia, only two winged creatures have been seen: the endless pigeons outside and the four seraphim mosaics under the dome. Any other questions?"

Dr. Jones facepalmed, turning around. He left their tour group with his team following him.

"Well, that was a waste of eighty bucks," Billy commented.

The doctor didn't say anything, fuming that they had come all the way from Florida to Turkey, hoping to get some lead in their proof of aliens, only to end up empty-handed.

"So uh… now what?" Hank asked.

"We still have time to kill, don't we?" Cassie asked. "I wouldn't mind doing a little shopping myself. Did y'all see that stuff at the market back-"

"Cassie, not now." Dr. Jones grumbled. By now, they were exiting the gardens and back onto the streets. "There's got to be something I'm missing here. I know I'm overlooking something." Stopping suddenly, Jones takes a moment to take a deep breath. "Okay, focus… Alien scouts in Constantinople-"

"Istanbul." Billy corrected him.

"Whatever. Alien scouts can fly, but there are not many witnesses. If the Sophia isn't your base, where would you go? Perhaps… Someplace where you can get a whole view of the city… or… Someplace hidden from prying eyes."

While Dr. Jones was yapping on his thought process, Cassie picked up her phone to see where they were when something moved from the corner of her eye. Down one of the alleys, she caught a glance at some people in white next to some camels. Nothing too out of the ordinary there.

"Maybe they could be hiding in an empty house or one of the ruins here. Or maybe they're underground? Then again, this city has plenty of ancient ruins, so they might be in one of them."

Cassie was about to pull up a map on her phone when a flash of light got her attention. Looking back down the alley, it didn't seem anything different, but… She blinked. Did those people change clothes all of a sudden? And why are they floating?

"Hey Doc?"

"Cassie, your keeping-up-with-OnlyFans can wait. Right now, I'm trying to figure out where those aliens would likely be."

"First off, no. Second, you mean those fellas in angel costumes down there?"

The rest of the team paused to look down the alleyway. Spotting a few angelic-like creatures hovering there, unaware of them being spotted, they saw that not only did they have wings but horns underneath their halos.

"My God…" Dr. Jones' mouth crashed the the ground at the sight of them. "Billy, you're seeing this too, right?"

"Yeah, it's not just you." Billy had to remove his glasses to ensure nothing wasn't anything on the lens.

"Then don't just stand there! Hank, get the camera rolling! C'mon! Let's catch up to them before they get away!"

If there is anything H.O.P.E. has learned ever since its business started, it is that looking after animals on behalf of the deceased is a complicated affair. Checking up on pets is surprisingly complex, given that they tend to do their own thing. But with their recent client from Turkey pleading to ensure that all the camels he sold were being treated fairly, it was entirely different. Especially in Istanbul, it was easier said than done; especially when they needed to learn where all twelve camels were.

The only clue their client gave them was the names of the people he sold them to. And it turned out they were spread out all over the city. It had been several days of looking up the names, skipping across rooftops to a specific neighborhood, realizing they got the wrong address, scurry over the city again, and finally finding one of the camels. So far, the owners were treating their camels well. They were given plenty of hay, never loaded too much goods on their backs, spitting on Moxxie's head, and adequate water to last for weeks.

"Ow! Millie! Azzi is eating my hair!"

By the time they got to camel eleven - named Azzi - they found its stable in the back streets of the ancient city. While the camel was nibbling on Millie's hair, Blitzo and Millie surveyed the stable. Although the owner wasn't home, it was clear that the camel was being taken care of, from the scooped dung in a bucket to the stacks of fresh hay, and the fact the animal seemed content munching on an angel's hairline seemed to indicate that Azzi was too being taken care of.

"All's good, Mox, ya can stop playing with Azzi now." Millie chuckled.

"I'm getting slobber in my hair! Get 'em off!"

Blitzo took a fistful of hay and tantalized it before the camel's nose. Thankfully, he relinquished Moxxie's tasty hair for the hay. "The first rule with camels is never turn your back on them. You okay, Mox?"

"Besides nearly being scalped, I'm perfectly fine," Moxie replied sarcastically, combing his hands through his hair to get the saliva out. "I swear these creatures have a vendetta against me."

"Nonsense, hon." Millie patted Azzi's head, "These big guys are probably just playful with you. I mean, look at this face! It doesn't look like it has a single malicious bone in his body."

"My head begs to differ."

"Ya know, Mox," Blitzo said, "If this is really bothering you, why not put on some local headgear like a turban?"

"Firstly, look at us." Mox pointed out, "Our entire get-up screams ' American Tourist! ' The point of these disguises is to help us blend in with humanity. Besides, you're the one to talk."

"What are ya talking about?"

"Sir, your human disguise consists of the world's worst Hawaiian shirt. Those tikis look like they're moments away from being turned inside out. That is as far as ' blend in with humanity' as possible."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Blitzo looked down at his shirt. In frustration, he folded his arms and dropped his disguise. "Then what do you suggest I should go around like? Not everyone here is in turbans and burkas, ya know."

"Well…" Moxxie undid his disguise, and in a flash of light, he returned to his usual self. "How about something more subtle?"

Millie, too, let go of her disguise, "Alright, define subtle?"

"For starters, you may notice that there aren't many logos. From what I've seen, people are either in T-shirts or button-up shirts, but they're not too brightly colored. I've seen people either wear jeans or khakis."

"So American but without commercialism?"

"Uh-huh. More or less like them or-" Moxxie froze, realizing what he had just said. His wife and boss's eyes went wide to figure out too late that they've been spotted. There was a horror-filled silent moment between them and the humans, and they could see each other.

The four humans looked on with amazement. Like a group of children accidentally running into the real Santa Claus and catching him in the middle of his job. Worst yet, one of the humans has a camera recording them.

" Oh my God… " Dr. Jones, too, was slack-jawed but also looked as though he had won the lottery, was told by everyone on earth that he was right, and received a blow-job all at the same time. Years of lack of solid proof, thousands spent, and being laughed at by every university had finally amounted to this.

Actual, solid proof of aliens among us.

"Uh…" Moxxie blinked, "Hi?"

"Get 'em!"

Blitzo grabbed Moxxie and Millie's wrists, fleeing down to the other end of the alley. Dr. Jones and his team were not too far behind, trying to catch up with them.

" Shitshitshitshit! " Blitzo swore, trying to come up with a last-minute escape plan. As long as they were within sight of the humans, he couldn't simply just take off because they would know which way they were going. They have to lose them quick. Up ahead, the alley split off in two. They should be fine if he could outrun them to turn the corner and cast the invisibility spell on them.

Blitzo was about to turn right at the turn, but there he was greeted by a surprised camel. Spooking it, the camel charged at them.

"Not that way!" Blitzo flipped around, trying to take off with M&M in tow. But just as when they were in the clear - Blitzo crashed face-first into a laundry wire with drying clothes. The wire slingshot him into another wire where his horns got caught, flinging them around along with the laundry. A moment later, they landed on the cobblestones below in towels, shirts, somebody's underwear, and a carpet.

"What just happened?" Moxxie stuck his head out from the tangling pile - only to have his head whacked over by a washing paddle.

Thinking quickly, Cassie grabbed the nearby paddle and kept swinging at the pile of clothes until it stopped moving.

"I got 'em! I got 'em!" Cassie yelled out just when the Doctor and his team turned the corner.

"Let me through!" Dr. Jones went straight for the pile and pulled out one of the alien's arms. The taller one has pale blue skin. "My God, we've done it! We've captured real aliens!"

"So uh… Now what?" Hank squats down, shooting a few seconds on the camera. "Do we get police or something?"

"No!" Dr. Jones stood up. "No… If anyone else finds out, the shadow government will come swooping in to cover all this up before we get the chance. But this… This is our opportunity! Let's take them back to the hotel. We have some… questions for our otherworldly visitors."

From the laundry, a dizzy Moxxy stuck out his head, "Wood… my weakness." Another slap from the laundry paddle, and the last member of H.O.P.E. was knocked out cold.