Don't Dream It's Over
Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do, for every dream precedes the goal
"Babe" Sam nudged his wife laying next to him "Babe" he nudged her again unable to snap her out of her dream "Babe" he lay back down and whispered in her ear "Hey" he rubbed her face gently realising she was having a nightmare "It's fine, it's a dream"
"What?" her head jumped off the pillow as her eyes sprung open, the sweat making her stick to the sheets
"It's a dream babe, you're safe"
"Damn" she sat up and rubbed her eyes "That was so freaking real"
"Nightmares usually are" he smiled letting her hug into his underarm "What was it about?"
"I don't remember, not enough to make sense of it, I don't think it was a nightmare though"
"Go back to sleep babe, I'll protect you" he rubbed her arm trying to calm her down, while he hummed her back to sleep
Some days feel like they won't get any better, we fight, you cry from your side of the bed
But all the nights we spend losing our minds together, don't mean that it's wrong
It means we've got something worth working on 'Something Worth Working On' by John K
This had been a thing for these past two weeks, there wasn't anything dramatic going on for them, life was as it should be, the children were fine, work was steady, and when she was at work she was happy enough, but when night came she was having these dreams that were leaving her in a shaking sweat, with no recollection of why.
The Dream
Mercy lay thinking about the meaning of these stupid dreams she was having, their life was good as far as she knew, the trust had always been unquestioned, but there was something funny about these past two weeks, working on this song was getting to her, they do say you have to feel it to make it work and if that was the case she was definitely feeling this.
His voice sent her back into a restful sleep before I knew it this time I was on a plane, Landing in Lima about to visit an old friend, it had been a good while since I'd seen Rachel, Barbra who I'd envisaged being around ten had turned up at the airport to meet me, her face was still the same, but she'd grown
"Look at you" I held her arms out to greet the near twenty five year old waiting for me, genuinely surprised "Look at you, you're so grown up"
"It's called aging aunt M" Barb laughed
"Don't let me hear you say that word again girl, you've got your whole life ahead of you"
"You sound like mom" Barb laughed
"That's cause she's wise, where's your mom?"
"She finally finished on Broadway last night and there's this big eat up thing going on for her tonight, so Aunt Quinn took her out for a pamper session to keep her out the way"
"A party?" I looked at Barb "Who's aunt Quinn?"
"Mom's new bestie" she laughed "You're the guest of honour, Sam didn't tell her you were coming"
"Who?"
"Sam, he's the new guy, he's full on so watch out" she laughed getting into the car, chatting all the way to Rachel's place
"This is Sam" Barbra smiled
"Hey" I stood watching the man stuck up a ladder putting up decorations
"Hey, guest of honour" he laughed getting down for a hug "You must be Mercy"
'Yes I'm Mercy your damn wife' screamed from inside me but what came out was "The one and only" I smiled "How's she doing, I mean with slowing down?"
"We've been keeping her entertained" Sam smiled putting his arm around the two of us to get into the house, I looked at Barbra smiling as she mouthed 'Familiar' I smiled back because it felt just that
"What time will they get back?" Barb asked him
"Your aunt Quinn should be bringing her back around seven"
"That gives me enough time to freshen up and get dressed" I smiled at Sam
"You know where everything is" Sam nodded letting me go
'It's your damn room too' screamed at him but again "I do" was all I had as I walked away "Back in a minute" I climbed up the patio steps and through the doors into the house
"Mercy" Sam called after me, I thought something had been woken in him "We've all missed you"
"Me too" I weakly responded
Seconds later I was standing in the living room with a lot of other people I didn't know waiting for Rachel's arrival "Surprise" everyone shouted when the door opened
"Oh my god" Rachel held her face "Quinn" she turned grabbed her blond, friend's arm "This is why you were stalling?" I hadn't seen Rachel for around two years but even now I could tell her drama was all bogus
"It wasn't me; it was them, I was following orders" Quinn put on the worst bit of acting ever witnessed
"This is so sweet; I think I'm going to cry" Rachel brought on the it's all about me tears, hanky, and all
"No time for crying" Sam walked towards her holding a cake "You better blow these out before the house catches afire" I think only I found offence in that, everyone else clapped
"What's the occasion?"
"The play" Sam told her "Come on blow them out"
"Oh, it's beautiful" she smiled at the aptly decorated cake "I have one wish" she announced before blowing the candles out to everyone's cheers "Thank you" she smiled looking around the room, dabbing at her imaginary tears
"Thirty five years is a long time to keep rocking her stuff on stage" I commented
"Who's that?" Rachel turned "Mercy" she laughed and cried at the same time walking towards her "I wished for you" she hugged me tight, those tears were real "It's been too long"
"Much too long" I hugged her back
"Guys this is my best friend in the world and the last person I expected to see today" Rachel announces "This has made my day" she hugged me again.
The party could have gone on without them for the amount of time we spent with the other guest, we sat talking about Sam, Barbra, and of course Rachel's life, nothing had changed, the universe revolved around her. Eventually the evening ended, and the house was finally empty, there was a chill I couldn't explain going on between Sam and Rachel, I'd thought that from his first comment, but I put it down to them not being in the same room for too long and the uncertainty of the future right now.
"I got you a present" I smiled when Rachel walked into my bedroom, handing her a wrapped gift "It wasn't actually for this occasion it was just to have something for us"
"That's nice of you"
"It's like our keepsake of our lives together and apart"
"You've kept everything" Rachel opened the album marvelling at every photo "School, college" she laughed "Oh my god, do you remember that night" she pointed at a picture "We lost our ID badges and had to…"
"Apply to the embassy for a replacement and get home in time for our final exams" I laughed "We wouldn't have done it any other way, would we?"
"I don't know" Rachel looked at me with tears in her eyes
"What's the matter?"
"My life, my marriage, everything" she burst into tears "It's just one big mistake"
'Well, I could have told you that, you married my husband' I screamed but of course I gasped "What?" in disbelief "You can't be serious"
"I don't think I can do this another day" Rachel cried "Things are really bad between us"
"Every marriage has rough times sweet, working through them is a part of being in a relationship" I sat wondering where is this crap was coming from, and why am I selling my husband to this woman
"We're never in the same room long enough to work through anything"
"He's working too much?"
"We both work hard, I don't think it's that, I just don't love him anymore, I just woke up one morning and thought no" she cried "I mean to think my concern was stability for Barb, and now she's going off to college, it's not…"
"You just need to put a spark back in there, grab some nightwear, cook a romantic dinner, jump him" I laughed at the ridiculous in me and the situation, for once my mind and body were reacting simultaneously
"I've spent my entire adult life being the perfect wife, mother, actress, I've lost me, and I've had enough" she shouted falling into my chest
"Okay, get some sleep" I stroked her hair and hummed the tune that wouldn't leave me alone right now, trying to get her to calm down, it seemed to fit the situation
You never broke my heart, and I've never cried in the dark, we never gazed up at the stars, and we never will lose our spark
And we've never once disagreed, cause there never was you and me, as so wherever you are, we're so far apart
Cause I never turned down your street, and we never actually meet, yeah, right before I saw your face, God ran out of ink
We never do fall in love, two never do become one, and our love never ends, cause our story never begins
I pray, I don't miss the love of my life today, I pray, I don't miss the love of my life today 'Butterfly Effect' by Muni Long
With the combination of the alcohol, surprise, the realisation that her marriage was in trouble, and maybe the hum of my voice, sleep came easy for Rachel
Unable to rest I wondered downstairs, feeling the need to have a conversation with Sam, maybe he could shine some light on what had been going on, Rachel had always been the rose coloured glasses type of person. I walked into the kitchen to see Quinn sat on the counter with Sam stood between her legs
"Am I interrupting something?" I asked just as stunned as they were
"No" Sam jumped back "I was just saying goodnight"
"I thought everyone had gone" I looked at this Quinn woman, this version of Sam wasn't one I wanted or needed to get familiar with either
"I had to come back for my coat" Quinn sat looking around the kitchen
"Oh" I frowned "I don't remember a coat"
"Could have been a scarf" Quinn looked around again
"Mercy" Sam walked towards her "I swear to you there's nothing going on, she was just being fresh"
"Me?" Quinn questioned, before she jumped down from the counter and walking out the house
"Please don't say anything to Rachel"
"I think you should say something to her" I looked at him concerned with the dilemma he was putting me in, before I could go any further my eyes opened, and I was looking into Sam's eyes wondering if that Quinn woman had been in our house
End of Dream
"Babe" he looked at her "You're not doing very well are you?"
"It's" she snuggled in
"It's what?"
"I need to change the sheet's they're so wet and cold" she got out of bed "And I need a shower"
"At this time in the morning?"
"Babe" she turned to frown at him "I need a shower"
While she was in the shower Sam set about changing the sheets, so everything was cosy again for when she returned "Better?"
"Much" she smiled "I'm so tired"
"I'm not surprised with all this broken sleep and busy days" he opened his arms for her to fall into, they snuggled in hoping she could find some sleep
Babe, don't hold anything back, say what's on your mind, I'll wait, and we won't hit the lights till we compromise
Oh, as bad as it may get, there's nothing that we can't survive
Some days feel like they won't get any better, we fight, you cry from your side of the bed
But all the nights we spend losing our minds together, don't mean that it's wrong
It means we've got something worth working on 'Something Worth Working On' by John K
"Babe" she snuggled into him
"Yeah?"
"You know I love you don't you?"
"Of course, I do, and I love you too" he looked at her "What's up babe?"
"Nothing I just needed to say that"
"And maybe you needed to hear it too" he kissed her forehead, smiling when she closed her eyes and snuggled in
Dream
It seemed like seconds and again she was on another plane, this time landing in Washington DC unsure who I was meeting
"Hey" Brittany walked towards me as I walked into the venue, the cab dropped me off at "You made it"
"I'm finally here" I smiled hugging her friend
"I still think you should be staying with us"
"My schedules so crazy, most days I'll be in town anyway"
"Okay but you'll come have dinner with us tomorrow?"
"Sure" I hugged Brittany again
"I can't thank you enough for this opportunity for Gray, if you hadn't placed that mix tape so well,, we wouldn't be here today promoting this" Brittany hugged me tighter
"Things we do for family" I smiled "So, where's our star child?"
"He's in the back room banging away" Brittany laughed grabbing my hand to go find him "Gray" she called across the room, laughing at the boy throwing his drumsticks in the air to grab them
"Mercy" Sam called from the other side of the room as he walked towards me "What are you doing here, Brittany never said you were coming" he hugged me and kissed my cheek
"It seems Britt hasn't told you anything" I laughed "I'm promoting your son"
"He's a genius isn't he?"
"Absolutely"
"Aunt M, I can't thank you enough for all the support with this, it's the best break"
"You're worth every second sweetheart" I hugged him and kissed his cheek "Now go mingle"
"I'll be back soon" Gray smiled hugging me again before going off into the crowd
"So" I turned to Sam "How are things really?"
"We are who we are, I'm learning to live with that, or not, as the case may be"
"Sam" my voice warning
"I can't help it I just can't…, I despise the situation I've found myself in, that I've put you in"
"Have you tried to tell her?"
"I try to keep my distance" he huffed
"So, what am I doing here?" I looked over his shoulder at Brittany watching us "She's watching" quickly realising I was the other woman in this scenario
"Shit, I can't speak right now" his eyes begging me to understand "I'll come to your hotel later"
"Be sure your sins will find you out" I warned walking away
"Aunt M" Gray came towards me "It's a beg" he grabbed my arm "I sort of bragged to some friends about you and now they want me to deliver, will you please just do one song" he gave her his puppy eyes "Please"
"One song" I warned laughing "I knew this was going to happen"
"My Aunt's going to sing" Gray shouted getting everyone's attention
"I'd just like to thank everyone for turning out, the record drops at midnight so keep your glasses filled" I smiled "Which song do you want, your choice"
"Your favourite" Brittany called out
"Well, that changes by the day" I laughed "But I have one I'm fond of right now" I put my phone in the pod and cranked it up to perform my favourite jolly that I knew wouldn't overshadow Gray's night
Midnight came, we celebrated the record drop, and drank until everyone was satisfied before we made our way to where we were staying for the night. Brittany dropped me off, had a nightcap a bit of a catch up, and left for home, I took a bath and settled in for the night, I'd got an afternoon flight planned so I could afford to sleep in.
I'd just wrapped my gown around my half wet body when the door knocked "Sam" I really didn't expect him to turn up, I was shocked we stood staring into each other eyes knowing what we were thinking shouldn't or couldn't happen. He stepped in and closed the door before walking towards me, I stepped back a few times in protest for a few seconds before I leaned in and kissed him as eagerly as he kissed me.
The next thing I knew we were lying in bed, totally spent and he was asking me if I was alright
"I don't know, I don't know that I can handle this Sam"
"Did you want to do this?"
"Yes" she looked at him "But I don't want to do this to Brittany" she huffed "I mean, what are we doing?"
"Exactly what we want" he brushed his hand against my face "That part of my life is over, I told you, it's about Gray now, we agree on that at least"
"So, you're okay with what we're doing?" I watched him lean over me
"I'm okay with doing this with you, the situation sucks but with you, yeah I choose this"
"Britt's my best friend"
"She can still be your friend; this part of our lives is over for her and I"
"I'm so confused"
"We didn't do anything wrong Mercy" he leaned in and kissed her "Spend the morning with me"
"I can't I'm having lunch with Britt"
"You can have dinner with her, just spend the morning with me, make last night mean something for us, please?"
"I…"
"Mercy" he sighed "It was always us, Britt got in the middle of that for a hot minute, and she knows that, she also knows you're a good friend and I think she uses that to keep you at distance, she's in the wrong not you"
"And you're not?"
"This whole situation is my fault, but I'll never regret Gray"
"I'd never want that, but…"
There are no buts"
"I'll make some excuse" I smiled at him, this thing had been going on for nearly six years and we hadn't comfortably stepped out of a bedroom once, I fancies not being a dirty secret for a morning at least. The time was as romantic as he said it would be we ate breakfast and talked in front of the open fire, came to terms with what we wanted to be to each other, and made love to seal the new beginning.
Late lunchtime, I was standing in Brittany's kitchen talking Gray and Brittany's life, too chicken to mention the fact that I was sleeping with my friends ex-husband. Later that day we happened to meet near the studio and unbeknown to us Gray was outside and saw us flirtatiously kissing. Of course, he went straight beak to Brittany to report the situation and voice his disgust at his aunt and father, resulting in Brittany coming to my hotel room and finding us together
"You can keep a secret alright" Brittany snapped at me sarcastically
"That's not fair" I snapped back
"A whole affair, with my husband"
"We're divorced" Sam stepped towards Brittany reminding her
"Brittany" I stepped to her racked with guilt "We didn't mean for this to happen"
"Of all the men in the whole damn world…" Brittany waved her finger at her friend
"This isn't just Mercy's fault, if I remember right, we were together when you lied and got me into bed"
"Sam don't"
"I don't want to hear your excuses for this seedy little affair"
"It's not seedy" Sam called after her following her to the front door
"I'll deal with this" I pulled him back "She's mad at me" I followed her down the corridor "This is so you, running off when you don't like something are you running back to that mystery girl again, is that why your husband has to look elsewhere for comfort"
"What?" Brittany stopped to look at her "I'd slap your damn face if I thought it was worth it"
"Is this about Sam moving on, or is it about Sam moving back on with me?" I asked following her outside
"Mercy, he's my damn husband, and you're supposed to be my best friend" Brittany swung her car door open
"He's your ex-husband and I'm still your best friend"
"Newsflash" she waved her hands in the air "This is not the way best friends act"
"Brittany" I slammed the car door shut "You're not going anywhere until we sort this out"
"Get out of my way" Brittany pushed me to the bumper of the car and got in "I don't ever want to see or speak to you again"
"Brittany" I called after her deflated before I went back into the hotel room "What are we doing?" I asked Sam "I mean how do we know this is all worth it, that it's even real, I mean do you even love me?"
"What's wrong?"
"Cause I'm not sure I love you and I don't want to be a rebound for you and Brittany, I'm not that girl so if that is what this is you need to tell me now because this is painful" I cried
"Is that what you think this is a fling?" he walked towards me "Mercy it's been six years, I have strong feelings for you, I want us to see where a real relationship goes, I'm not promising forever or anything like that because we both know that's not a realistic goal, but I'm willing to promise I want you, I can see a future for us, and I want to make you happy"
"You're here, I'm in LA how the hell is anything going to work?"
"Hey, if this is for us we'll work it out" he hugged her
"I got to go speak to Gray"
"Now?"
"Now" I grabbed her bag and went off to go find her nephew, I met him at the studio door "Gray can we talk?"
"I've got nothing to say"
"Well can you please listen to me for a second?" I stopped him from entering the studio, we had a different relationship now I was his manager
"I thought you were trying to help my parents get back together" he snapped at me
"I was, but that wasn't what they wanted, and I'm sorry Gray but people change, they fall out of love"
"No wonder he didn't want to get back with mom"
"I'm not the villain here Gray, and I admit I'm not the hero either, I love you Gray that will never change, but this is just how life is sometimes"
"I…" Gray turned to walk away "Aunt M" he turned to look at me "I don't like what you're doing with my dad, but I can't blame you for everything, love is love right?"
"Why the change of mind?"
"I was thinking about all the people I've ever loved; I couldn't help it either, I still love my dad, he's my dad right?"
"Yeah" Mercy smiled "And please take care of your Mom, she's going to need you"
"I hope everything works out for you, or at least the way it's supposed to"
"I'll be back soon"
"Where are you going?" Gray noticed the cab waiting
"I have to go home, work to do and all that"
"Does dad know?"
"No, but he'll work it out soon" I hugged him and walked away
Two Weeks Later
….We never walked down the aisle, there's no exchanging of vows, no picket fence, and no house, I'll never carry your child
Maybe it all would have happened, if I didn't get stuck in traffic, if I hadn't drove past my exit, then I would be making you breakfast
But I never turned down your street, and we never actually meet, right before I saw your face, God ran out of ink,
We never do fall in love, two never do become one, and our love never ends, cause our story never begins
I pray, I don't miss the love of my life today, I pray, I don't miss the love of my life today….. 'Butterfly Effect' by Muni Long
"Britt" I got off stage and walked shocked towards my once best friend I thought I'd lost for good "What are you doing here?" I checked her face "Is something wrong with Gray, Sam?"
"No" she smiled "I missed my best friend" she held her arms out for a hug "I don't think I can let a man come between us, even one as annoying as Sam" she laughed "That song" she nodded at the empty stage "That was about him wasn't it?"
"Britt" I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to hurt her either
"You love him don't you?"
"Yeah" I nodded crying so hard I couldn't get the word out
"Then you have my blessing" she smiled hugging my friend again "I'm sure he loves you back" I felt the weight of the world release me from what I don't think I'll ever know
End of Dream
"Hey" Sam squeezed her tight, feeling her going into another one of her dreams "Wake up babe" he stroked her face "I think we need to visit the surgery; this thing is getting worse"
"I'm fine" she looked up at him "It's just every time I close my eyes I see another way of us ending"
"Ending what?" he looked at her
"Our marriage" she looked up at him "If it's not another woman it's a seedy affair" she told him
"Never going to happen" he kissed her forehead
"You can never promise stuff like that, forever or never doesn't actually mean what it says"
"It does when I say it" he kissed her forehead again "Don't dream it's over babe, that hurts, we'll never be over"
"Okay"
"Please get some sleep the children are going to be up in less than five hours"
"Is that all" she gasped snuggling in to get some sleep, listening to her singing them back to sleep, feeling like she could finally feel the song
I pray, I don't miss the love of my life today, I pray, I don't miss the love of my life today,
I don't miss the love of my life today, I pray, I don't miss the love of my life today….. 'Butterfly Effect' by Muni Long
"Feeling a song" Sam rolled his eyes, wondering why he hadn't worked that out sooner "You got it babe?"
"It was a bit of a one, I've never been without you, it was hard to imagine, but yeah I've got it" she looked up at him "I think I'm going back to writing my own songs, feeling other people's art enough to do it justice is a journey"
"A sleepless journey"