The Longest Time
Work for what you want, don't worry if you don't get it straight away just don't settle.
Protester
"What do we want?"
"Justice"
"When do we want it?"
"Now"
This hadn't been the first protest I'd been involved in and probably five out of the twenty times I had been, they'd turned into some sort of riot, it wasn't the intention, that was just the way things went. I couldn't lie and say I thought this time was going to be any different, or that I wasn't scared, these people that came looking for trouble were terrifying on every level.
Just to give a narrative, imagine being at the mall in the middle of a thick crowd, at the peak of the festive rush hour, if you could squeeze that thought into one day. Everyone doing their shopping at the same time trying to beat closing time, and then it happens, all the lights go off and you know the doors are about to close and lock you in over the entire holiday season. Close your eyes and imagine the panic of those last-minute shoppers, the anger from those that haven't brought that all important present yet. Then imagine you'd finished all your shopping and just needed to get out of there before all hell broke loose, and there you have some inkling of how it feels to be an innocent in the middle of a riot situation.
All that situation needs to light that fire is one euphorically, happy person, with the capacity to egg the mases on, with just the right flame and the fear that builds in you in that second, brings on the fight of flight feeling, but the mess of it all, is that you know the choice isn't there, you're going to have to fight.
Another amazing thing about a riot is how cohesive people are, people will follow these angered, rage driven leaders, because they are convinced the instigators of physical anarchy are not going to hurt them, or anyone else for that matter. So, you find people that ordinarily would be cautious about walking down dark alley's late at night, standing around watching, smiling even, as if the bricks being thrown or the fires being lit, or even the possibility of opportunists raping or robbing them, is at its lowest of risk. The reality of that assumption might be that a whole crowd of people stand by watching while some opportunist rapes and robs you, they might even be cheering at the empowerment of it all, you just never know what's on someone's mind at a time like that.
I was one of the organisers, always front and centre when it came to flyer's, spreading the word, rallying the troops, naming the spot, food, music, banners, all that sort of thing, our organisation was pro-justice, and we didn't hesitate to bring anything to the attention of anyone listening. Along with my co-organisers we knew there were dangers hidden and otherwise, but when it was important for the masses to know, we always took the chance, and prayed that the masked offenders didn't show up.
We had our people out there smelling the rats, so as soon as anger started to rare its ugly head, we'd spread the word for loyal, peaceful protesters to leave site. Even our victories were celebrated in secret for fear of infiltration, because sometimes even those that fought the cause avidly, went to unfamiliar places when the masked monsters peeped their heads out.
"Get ready for the Mardi Gras" a voice called from behind me, I turned quickly to see who it was, checked to see if that was a signal for mayhem because we wanted none of it. The man looked harmless, dressed in a very casual denim jacket and some shorts, no one in their right mind would dress in shorts on this winter night, I looked at him again
"What do we want?" I asked
"Party" he smiled
"Seriously?" I looked into his eyes trying to work him out
"That's what they've come for" he nodded down the street at several lines of police with shields, batons, and guns walking towards us
"This is a peaceful protest" I called to them "We don't want any trouble" I watched as they got closer, the stone faces telling me they meant business
"Please disperse" one of the officers called to us
"This is a peaceful protest" I called back again looking over at one of my colleagues for support
"This is your second warning, please disperse" the voice came back at us
"I guess we've proved our point" I turned to the people around me, my colleagues nodding knowingly at what I was about to say "Let's call it a night before it gets ugly"
"Disperse" one of my colleagues agreed
"It's already ugly" one of the officers told us, as if we were the rogues "If you're not a part of this riot hurry home"
"Disperse" one of the other officers told us again, just before a massive bang filled the air
"Get off the streets" the Lieutenant in charge shouted at us, the urgency in his voice made us move quickly
"Stay safe everyone" I told the people around me watching as everyone scattered in all directions, before I rushed off in the direction of home. I walked for a few minutes down the road before I heard noise coming towards me, it was going to put at least forty minutes on my journey, but if it was going to keep me safe it was the right thing to do, I headed off down the side street, hoping everything was quiet down the back streets.
I found myself ducking in and out of the alleys as the noise got closer and then subsided, this was going to be a long night, paranoia set in, I was hearing noises where there were none, imagining myself being in the middle of something I had no business being in, in short, I was scared.
Suddenly I heard footsteps running towards me, I squeezed myself into a dark gap between two building and held my breath as the footsteps got closer, my spot was too bright, but no way was I going to make it out of this alley and down the street before them. To add to that I was unsure if more were coming or even if the footsteps were far enough away from me for it to be safe to move. I decided to stay put, it was only nine maybe ten hours to daylight, I could fall asleep standing up the space was so small, and at least everything would be over.
"Stop" I heard some more muffled sounds and then a bang that made me tremble, I was sure this was it, the next bullet was going to pierce my skin, but where was it going to land. I stood frozen until the noise stopped and then some. Footsteps came towards me again, this time they were slow almost tiptoeing I wondered if the person had seem me and now decided to play his sinister game with me
"Hey" I heard making me pull my breath in and hold it, scared the cold air would give me away "It's me" I smiled at the familiar voice and breathed out heavy
Police
It had been my worst nightmare to walk into work and hear this assignment, I'd recently moved to the area and been assigned to this department, so I really didn't know much about the town or the people in it. Back in Texas things had gotten heated enough for me to decide a change was as good as a rest, I didn't know I was jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. When I'd asked for the transfer to New Jersey I'd relied on being as safe as houses, as far as my research had told me I should have been safe until retirement, which was happening in just over thirty years.
I'd been shot back in Texas and I'm not ashamed to say that even as a police officer the whole experience had shaken me enough for me to need to get the hell out of there. When I realised, I didn't know anything else, I quickly requested a transfer, and was allocated to this place as one of the top ten safest places to be, this wasn't ringing true right now
Whatever this situation was, it was about to turn into something the squad wasn't prepared for, the entire squad which stood at around forty men, was split in half and stood at two different locations, with every bit of protection we had in the station, and it felt like nothing. Our best protection, if I had to name anything would have been our helmets at least our heads were protected, but there weren't enough body suits for all of us, so those that were without stood in the middle of the twenty strong, for want of a better description, squad, a few of us had what was termed as crowd control training.
Like everyone else in the area I'd heard about the plans to cut funding on the local state school, which was going to mean some children were going to be disadvantaged and of course we'd expected some comeback on that decision. Come back in these parts usually meant a meeting in the school hall, promoted to the town hall if they didn't feel listened to, a petition signed by every single student and parent regardless of whether their child was affected, and a weekend cookout to talk about it, but this was on another scale.
I knew what to do, I guessed we all did, but without the tools to do the job everyone was jumpy, the protest had started in good faith, everything was going as planned and then just an hour into my shift, we were informed that a group of undesirables had joined the protest. We all knew what that meant, all hands were on deck, and the mission was to save as much of the town as we could by getting those thugs off the streets as quickly as possible. Trouble was, with all the town on the streets already it was going to be hard working out exactly who those thugs were, because as everyone knew, in a riot situation, it was hard to mark
"Spread out" the lieutenant in charge of our group instructed us, we moved in army formation towards the crowd in front of us, I was smiling inside because our half of the squad had been assigned to the real protesters, so it was going to be a quiet night.
"Coming towards us" someone shouted causing confusion because the people we could see were just standing there, the Lieutenant shouted for disperse again and something in his voice made everyone move, some ran, some walked but everyone was looking over their shoulder. Suddenly there was a bang, it sounded more like a massive explosion than a gun shot, "Run" he shouted to the few people stood watching us "Get off the streets"
There were people busying themselves putting barricades across their shop windows, people literally moving their cars off the street, lights going off, we were checking our weapons, it was hard to tell at that point who were the villains and who were the people who should be keeping order "Push them that way" one of the guys erecting the barricade shouted to us, we braced ourselves and moved accordingly
"It's a blind alley" the Lieutenant called back to him, even I knew that was a bad move, the idea was to disperse them forcing them to weaken, penning them in like this would not only cause them to retaliate, but if we were attacked from the back, we'd be getting it from both sides, and we couldn't manage that. "That way" he pointed to where we all knew ended with a rocky wasteland that wasn't a good call either, but it was the lesser of two evils.
The next thing we knew the angry mob was walking towards us, the very rocks I'd thought about seconds earlier were hurdling towards us ahead of them. The other group of officers were bringing them in from behind, it seemed we were going to corner the thugs. There was a thud something hit one of the shields, then someone fell to the floor "Lieutenant" someone called as two men went to help him up, ironic that after all the orders he'd given us up to that point, he'd chosen to ignore all of them.
It was no surprise that with no proper leadership, the lack of a fool proof plan, inadequate equipment for most of us, and in the main little or no training; we were in trouble. The streets looked overly sinister with all the lights in the usually well-lit night focused area being off, shutters down and silhouettes of people standing in the dark inside their properties, ready to defend what was theirs.
By the time we finished tackling the rioters from both sides there was a group of maybe forty rowdy troublemakers hurling stones and shouting profanities at us, one of them finally slipped down a street we'd left exposed as we backed them up towards our men on the other side of them "Shit" I gasped, I was in a dilemma, I knew one or two of the quiet protesters had gone down that road less than five minutes ago
Within ten minutes we had the small crowd under control, of sorts, colleagues had turned up from the next town to help us, we quickly formed a plan of attack and took control of the crowd "Got them" I recognised the voice of our tactical commander and watched as my other colleagues moved forward to make the arrests. I went off down the street in pursuit of the one that got away, wondering why I hadn't been picked for the other group, at least someone who knew what they were doing was on that team.
It took a bit longer than I'd expected to get everyone handcuffed and, on the van, I was impressed however that even without the expertise we were able to get the situation under control within the hour. Now we were faced with another problem we had more prisoners than cells, so we had to work out where we were going to put everyone. I checked my phone, no calls, I had urgent business to take care of I gave the lieutenant the nod and went off to sort my business out, it had already been fifteen minutes too long.
"Hey" I walked down the road cautiously, hoping not to hear a voice, but needing to hear it "Hey" I whispered again after taking a few more steps and scanning the area "It's me, you can come out" I saw a shadow move in one of the alleys and raised my hand gun ready for what was coming towards me "Stop" I yelled as someone flew towards me
"Bastard" the man yelled pushing me to the ground
"Stop" I yelled after him, listening to his feet moving fast away from me "Stop or I'll shoot" I told him "This is your last warning, stop" I held the gun in the air and fired a shot, stopping him in his tracks "Hands in the air where I can see them" I got up and walked towards him "Keep your hands where I can see them"
"Are you doing this because I'm black?" he blasted at me
"No" I told him "I'm doing this because you broke the law"
"Can't you let me go, no ones watching?" he looked down the lonely street, I did too, he was right there was no one around, but in my head I would know that I'd let someone who meant these people harm go, and if anything should happen because of my actions I couldn't live with it.
"Sorry" I snapped the handcuffs on him "You have the right..." that was like a well taught children's nursery rhyme by now, I was sure Sevillians thought we got off on saying it, I said what I needed to and marched him back to the crowd who were waiting for another van to turn up. "Can you sort this?" I asked a colleague letting the perp go before the man answered, I had something to do.
I wondered back down the alley, checking the dark spaces as I went, this time I didn't grab my gun, "Hey" I called gently trying not to scare them "It's me" I tread carefully knowing how scared they might be "It's me" I looked to my right just as I passed the spot I'd just arrested that guy at "Hey" I smiled at seeing her terrified but looking at me with relief in her eyes
Samcedes
"I was so scared" Cedes pulled herself out from between the buildings and came towards him landing on his chest
"Why do you never listen to me" Sam pulled her off his chest "I told you to get home before dark" he snapped "Do you know how scared I was walking up to that crowd and seeing your face, front and centre?" he huffed "As always"
"Babe"
"Don't" he held his hand up at her "You promised me babe, that could have gone so freaking wrong"
"It all just went south so fast"
"Fast?" he laughed sarcastically "You should have been home two hours ago"
"Sam" she moaned for not getting a word in
"Don't Sam me Cedes, this could have ended so damn badly"
"I know"
"Are you hurt?" he butted in unwilling to listen to her excuses
"No, I'm..."
"Let's go home" he grabbed her arm and walked off in the direction she was trying to go "We need to get back to the station"
"Sorry" she looked up at his mad face "I really am sorry" she pulled her arm away from his rough hand "It really did happen that fast"
"Fast or slow, you said you'd be home by six" he stopped to look at her
"Why..." she took the time to consider whether she really wanted to have the conversation with him right now, he was in a foul mood, and she understood why, but he'd said six and there'd been no agreement on it, he just assumed she'd toe the line, she smiled because she'd played her a game and he'd fell right into the trap "Forget it" she let him grab her hand to carry on the journey
"You're not sorry Cedes, you never are, you just think that's what I want to hear"
"True" she held her head down hiding her obvious guilt "But why..."
"I don't want to talk about it" he snapped
"Well as we've got a fifteen-minute walk and you're not going to leave me out here alone, I think it's the perfect time and you have no choice but to listen Mr Evans"
"Was this the plan?" he looked at her
"No" she smiled "And that's the truth" she looked up at him not caring what his reaction was going to be, she'd been waiting for this opportunity for the longest time "Why don't you want us to have a family, is it me?"
"No" he looked down the street "Can you see all this going on around us, you can't even imagine some of the things I've seen, and to bring a child into this hell of a mess, I just don't want to do it" he huffed "It's cruel"
"Surely it's up to us to mould our child, or children, into the adults we want them to be regardless of external influences?" she pulled at his hand "And everyone has free will, we can't control everything they choose to do"
"According to studies done in Sweden..."
"Don't" she held her spare hand up at him "Our child wouldn't be an experiment Sam, he or she would be ours"
"I think it's so unfair that you've cornered me like this"
"I haven't cornered you" her eyes sad for his interpretation of what was happening right now "We're finally having the conversation" she looked at him "Babe I know you're as much against this as I am for it, but we need to talk about it, this isn't a win or lose situation, it's an understanding each other one"
"We talked about this before we got married"
"We did, and if I remember rightly, we said it was a conversation we'd have in the future, but we were both against anyone coming between us back then, now..."
"I still feel the same"
"I still feel the same about you babe, no doubts, but we've given us the longest time, don't you think?"
"I think I mentioned forever" he laughed
"Sam" she rolled her eyes with the frustration
"Sorry" he stopped laughing "It's just that I know you see all giggles and unconditional love, pinks or blues, a small thing that belongs to us, but I see sleep deprivation, a stressed wife, maybe even stress for myself, sex starvation, and money flying out the window"
"How can you call our child money flying out the window?" she looked at him
"We want a bigger house, we've decided not to rent out the condo so that's more outgoings, it's piling up babe and then a baby in the mix with medical bills, school, college"
"We do have some years to get that sorted"
"It goes pretty fast"
"And surely family is what it's all about I mean it feels like a natural next step for us, don't you think?"
"My natural progression was marrying you, I didn't think past that, and I still don't" he looked at her "If I'm being totally honest about this, I don't think I'd make a good father, I didn't have a good role model growing up, and I fear I'm too much of a disciplinarian"
"I know you see that as an argument against babe, but surely that's a reason to have children isn't it, so that we can right the wrongs our parents made with us?"
"Your parents didn't make any mistakes" he smiled "I tell a lie" he looked at her "They forgot to teach you how to listen to your husband"
"Funny" she cut her eyes at him
"This isn't about Marley and Jake's recent announcement, is it?"
"No" she smiled "This is about San and Cedes" she laughed "I want miniatures of you running around the place, so I can watch you grow up all over again"
"I'll admit to sometimes wondering about what a mini you would look like, but I don't think I can take all that attitude times two"
"I don't have attitude" she looked up at him, unable to stop the giggle from bubbling out
"No" he laughed "You just have that cute way of trying to make me forget I'm mad at you for not getting home on time"
"You know what would keep me home, or at least make me come home on time, don't you?"
"Taking your bank card?" he looked at her "Or locking you in the house?"
"Letting us have a baby" she tapped his arm playfully
"That was going to be my fourth guess" he laughed
"You're not going to shift on this are you?"
"Not right now, no"
"I'll take that as a, this conversation is to be continued then"
"Don't"
"A maybe?"
"Cedes" he moaned "Let's just get home" he looked at the station in front of them "I'll sign out, grab the car and we'll be off" he opened the staff access door to let them in
After introductions, Cedes sat watching him with his colleagues, he was the usual laugh, centre of attention kind of guy she knew him to be, shy when they talked about subjects, he didn't want to get involved with, and knowledgeable about his work. She wondered why she could see all this in him as he stood there with ease being himself and he found it hard to see himself as a father, something she knew he'd be amazing at. Eventually he was ready for the journey home, they said their goodnights and jumped in the car to make their way
"You love your job, don't you?" she broke the silence asking, flicking the radio on as she spoke
"Yeah"
"Outside of me that is?"
"Of course, I love you more, why do you ask?"
"To prove that you can love more than just me"
"Babies again" he rolled his eyes "Can we please change the subject?"
"I'll stop for now" she smiled bringing back the silence, their attention drawn back to the music echoing through the car stereo
...So if you want it, then let's give it a try, yeah, cause we ain't getting no younger, girl, so let's let them fly
And I know we ain't ready for no goodbyes, no, started with a little conversation, now you're by my side
Got me singing like oh, doo-doo, girl, let's give it a try
Got me singing like oh, doo-doo, girl, let's give it a try... 'Give It A Try' by Michael Minelli
"That's not what I'm saying" he laughed at her staring at him as he drove
"It's your playlist" she laughed "And I said nothing" she held her hands up
"Cute" he looked at her smiling
"Me?" she asked blank faced
"Yes you" he frowned "My choices are another protest that might be dangerous for you or a baby, right?"
"Took you a while, but yes" she laughed
"So, this was never a discussion?"
"You're getting good at this" she laughed "We've been ready for this for the longest time babe"
"As long as you can guarantee fun"
"Lots, starting tonight" she leaned her head on his shoulder happy to make the promising journey home