All You Need Is Love/She Loves You
Remember you haven't failed; you've just tried one hundred ways that don't work for you
Sam looked across the room at the girl he hadn't set eyes on for over twelve hours, she was talking to drooling Dru, laughing, having fun, he was nowhere near where she was, their sudden breakup had hit him hard, and it was all his fault
"Everything alright?" Mike sat looking at him before following his line of sight "Seriously?" he asked shocked "Told you, she's not the forgiving type?"
"I still need to figure out why that woman said that"
"Has to be said dude, you gave cause for your name to be dragged" Mike laughed
"Thanks not so best buddy" he snarled at his friend
"I'm your best buddy, and for that reason I will always tell you the truth"
Sam's POV
To be honest once my looks kicked in I'd cheated at some point in most of my relationships, I don't know if it's the society we live in or what, but I never saw myself settling down with just one girl. I cheated on my high school girlfriend, not physically, there are degrees of cheating and hand on heart I can say I climbed that ladder finally resulting in my own detriment.
That first cheat was a look, I was with my first girlfriend, who I'd hunted down like a lion, hadn't seen a single thing while I was chasing her and then three months into that relationship, I was looking at nearly every other girl that walked past. Looking back, I guess I had a thing about tits and ass, but which red blooded seventeen-year-old doesn't?
I was still with my then girlfriend when I took the cheating thing a step further and joined a swimming club, not necessarily because of this girl, I loved swimming, but it was all the more interesting with her being there. We'd been practicing a mixed relay that evening and some of us decided to stay on for an hour, just to perfect our crossovers. We got talking and stayed that way well after everyone else had left, I was flirting, we both were, and the opportunity presented itself, but at the last minute I backed out
"Sorry" I pulled back "I have a girlfriend"
"I have a boyfriend" she smiled back at me
"So, we shouldn't be thinking of doing this"
"Doing what?" she looked into my eyes playfully
"I got to go" I was seriously scared for where I was willing to take that, I didn't think I was that guy, I'd never felt like that guy before seeing her, in fact I was that jealous, possessive, and willing to fight any man that thought they could even look at what was mine kind of boyfriend, so that was new. Once the scared wore off there was excitement there and the fact that whatever nearly happened was never discovered by my girlfriend, made it all the more doable.
After that I carried on flirting, my eyes were all over the place, and to be honest I think my girlfriend saw the other girls as some sort of challenge, keeping her on her toes knowing someone else wanted me, and I liked that feeling too. My girlfriend was still the hottest girl in school, it was just that I was getting a buzz from the attention, that feeling was different to the one I was getting from her.
That all came crashing down when her friend set me up, telling me to meet her, and turning up with my girl in tow, "Told you" the girl snapped at my girl "Told you he was a dog"
"Why are you here Sam?" she stood there asking me
I didn't have a lie, I'd gotten away with this too many times, I didn't even know if I preferred being tied to this girl or having the freedom to see any girl I wanted, whenever I wanted "She asked me to meet her, she was flirting with me"
"And you took the bait, why?"
"I'm through with your bull shit friends, and you, the games you play..." I snapped at her, because I was being pushed into a corner, I walked away without finishing the sentence.
After that, I told myself I wasn't going to be with any one girl, because I couldn't be bothered with the stress, so technically I wasn't cheating, I wasn't promising anyone anything, just having a good time. I had my first sexual encounter with an older student and concentrated so much on her not realising I was a virgin, I really don't remember much about the whole experience, except maybe I was pretending to be someone I wasn't.
I took that single man concept to college, it fitted in well because physical relationships were the norm in that place, and I was living my best life. This one girl, I remember because I went back for seconds, and that wasn't something I was into, but hell she was good. We met at a conference and instantly we were attracted to each other, she was giving all the signals, all the moves and I was up for the chase. She was asking all the questions, keeping the group interested so I guess her intellect was sexy too, just the fact that she knew what she was talking about made me think she was the real deal, there for the right reason.
When we finally hooked up the sex was mind blowing, I was all for sharing my life with her, I saw the house, kids, everything in our future, and the next day I was hell bent on telling her, we didn't get to the conversation before we fell into bed that evening. We were woken by banging on the door and someone shouting her name
"Fuck" she jumped out of bed looked around the room as she started picking my clothes up and throwing them at me "You've got to go" I sat up in bed watching her wondering what the hell was going on
"What?" I asked puzzled
"My husband" she pointed at the door "You've got to go"
"Husband?" I was so shocked I didn't know what to do, grab my clothes, hide in the bathroom, or slap the bitch, in the end I grabbed my clothes and walked out the door leaving her to explain why a half dressed man was walking out her room at that time in the morning, something else to tell my future son about when he's old enough. I was the butt of everyone's joke for a while after that, but somehow it got me more rep with the girls, they were flooding in, and to be honest the only outgoings I had at the time was buying protection. So, you see I've had various roles in what some might call relationships, I've been the other man, the home wreaker, the cheat, I've lost count on the number of times I've been that, and of course I've been the cheated on.
Then suddenly college was over, everyone went their separate ways and casual hook ups became a thing of the past, I talked myself into getting serious about someone, forcing myself to feel something when I met a girl who seemed like she was as ambitious as me. I did all the things men do with girls they supposed to like, dates, brought her things, spent time, and had as much sex as I felt I needed to keep me interested, but month five and I was bored shitless, she wasn't for me.
One day I woke up next to her to find I'd just stopped caring, there had never been any love, and I didn't want what she was offering, to be honest I didn't know what I wanted, I just knew she wasn't it. I didn't just get up, admit my shit and walk out of there, that would have been too easy, and super messy, I was living in her apartment, I'm a man, I had to find somewhere else to lay my hat before I burnt bridges so again, I cheated.
With the next one, we'd been seeing each other for nearly six months, which was a record for me, but I still didn't have feelings, our relationship started fading maybe three months in, I felt further away from her every time I looked at her. She was just as distant as me at times and neither of us were eager to be in each other's company. I found myself travelling a lot, taking gigs all over the place for little and nothing so I didn't have to deal with her, when I was home, she'd need to do something with her friends, the end was in plain sight
Eventually the silence was too painful, my insides were screaming catch me, in desperation I got clumsy on purpose, I left my laptop out, and unlocked, one evening, and went for a shower, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist knowing what I'd been up to. She came storming into the bathroom shouting the odds at me, telling me to get out, releasing me from the hell I felt I was in, I didn't argue, I finished my shower, grabbed my things while she stood there ranting and made my exit, not forgetting my laptop on the way out. Swearing I'd never find myself in that position again.
I didn't last two weeks at the next girls house I was like, I need to find a shop door man, this is too much, she was full on controlling, wanted to know my every move, even planned my evenings, it was crazy. When she went to work one morning, I packed a bag and caught a red eye and jumped off it four hours later in a sleepy little town, ready to do some damage, I met her that first day she was in the café I sat in contemplating where I was going to sleep
"New in town?" she smiled pouring me more coffee
"Yeah" I smiled there was something about her eyes that drew me in
"Passing through or thinking of staying a while?" she asked
"Not sure, what would you recommend?"
"Got somewhere to stay?"
"No" I squinted my eyes to look at her wondering what all the questions were about
"We have rooms upstairs if you're not too fussy" she smiled
"I'm not at all fussy" I smiled happy a bed was close
"You can talk to my dad" she nodded to a man sitting at the counter "He deals with all that"
"Family business?"
"Sort of" she smiled it was so genuine it made me smile "I help out when I can"
"So, what stops you from being a part of the family business?"
"My career, I'm a singer, actor, anything I can find really"
"I'm a musician too" I nodded at my guitar "Wherever I can get work" I smiled "It's tough out there"
"Isn't it just" she frowned and that was cute too
"Cedes" A voice interrupted our conversation, I sat watching her turn to look at the Asian guy walking towards us with his arms open
"Mike" the grin on her face told me they meant something to each other as they hugged, I sat wondering who I had that would greet me like that. I realised I'd wondered through my life so far not making one single friend, I knew people of course I did but an actual friend I could call a ride or die, I'd never made the time. He kissed her on the cheek, so I knew they weren't intimate, and for some reason that made me smile
"Your home" he pulled away from her "When did you get back?"
"Last night, I've slept all day" she giggled infectiously "How's the family?"
"Family's good, T will be pleased to see you, she misses her best friend"
"I missed her, I missed everyone three months is a long time"
"Things went well though?"
"It was amazing" she rolled her eyes "I'll pass round tomorrow tell you guys all about it" she told him "Coffee?" she held the jug up at him
"I actually came for some of your mom's butterscotch pie, T's craving" he rolled his eyes "The things we do for a quiet life" he finally looked at me "Hi" he held his hand out "Mike" he smiled "We don't get many visitors in our little town, are you lost of did you actually stop off on purpose?" he laughed
"Random stop" I laughed grabbing his hand "Sam"
"Nice to meet you" his voice sounded genuine too "There aren't many people our age here, so when we see a new face in town, we try to give the best version of the place, we're harmless really" Mike laughed
"I'm not used to being in a small town with people who come up to you and talk" I added, because it was the truth
"Are you doing your Saturday night thing tomorrow, seeing as you're back?" Mike asked this Cedes woman
"I don't think I'll get out of it, do you?"
"Not if Pops Jones has anything to do with it" Mike laughed "Better get this pie, I can hear her screaming my name as I stand here"
"Kiss the babies for me" Cedes told him hugging him again before he walked off
"So, there's a show on Saturday?" I asked her eager to hear more
"Not really a show, Pops sort of doesn't want me to waste my time or my talent, it's his way of keeping my instrument oiled" she laughed "Call if you need anything else" she turned to walk away
"I could..." I waited for her to look at me again "I could do with that bed"
"I'll send my Pops over" she smiled
I went to bed that night and slept like a log, the next morning at breakfast Cedes Pops assigned her as my chaperone to show me around the town, well to be honest, she said she was going out and he told me to follow, I didn't want to seem rude, so I did. We drove around the town as she pointed out what she called landmarks and told me stories about her time there as a child, finally stopping at a single-story building with blinds at every window, windows open and a couple of house dogs playing outside
She got out the car and went through the gates "Boys" she laughed at the hounds jumped at her playfully "Calm down" she laughed harder trying to get them under control
"Cedes" a heavily pregnant woman came out the house, she was obviously Mike's wife, I felt a ping of jealousy watching them be with each other, having that someone to talk to about everything and anything. I'd never considered myself a loner, but now I sat watching these two women wondering who was home to greet me like that when I got back, or even where was I going back to. They were obviously talking about me as I watched them both look before grabbing a dog each and guiding them away, putting them out of the way before they both appeared back near the car
"This is Sam" Cedes called me out the car "Sam this is Tina my best friend" she told me as I walked towards them, grabbing Tina's extended hand "I'm showing him around town"
"That will take all of an hour" Tina laughed
"I took him down the valley" Cedes told her
"So, you two are there already?" Tina asked
"There?" I looked at Cedes confused
"No" Cedes laughed
"Us locals call that lovers lane" Tina laughed "Things happen down there" she warned
"T" Cedes looked at her shocked "Let's get a drink, something hot" I watched them link arms and walk into the house while I followed
I was surprised to walk in and see more people apparently their parents lived with them, the house was full of family photos, ornaments, old and new, it was a bit of a miss match to be honest, and yet it felt like a home, kick your shoes off and relax kind of welcoming. The babies were really babies two under three and another on the way, I couldn't tell if that was what Tina or the family wanted, but one thing was for sure she had the support, I didn't see her deal with the children once.
"Sam?" Mike finally walked into the garden, I don't know why I smiled so widely, maybe because after an hour of listening to women and old people chatter, it was great to see another man my age in the house
"Mike" I got up to shake his hand "Great family you have here"
"That's the kind of thing I say to their faces" he laughed "Give me a minute" he walked off, I watched him talk to each family member, kiss his children and play with them for a while, before doubling back to his wife, they spent a few minutes together before he finally hugged Cedes and came back to me "Should we go find somewhere quiet, grab a beer?" he suggested
"Sure" I looked at my chaperone my look hopefully telling her where I was going and left
His man cave was kitted out, wide screen TV, bar, couches, and a pool table, everything a man would need to chill. We sat watching a game, talking between goals, I ended up telling that man things about myself I hadn't realised I wanted to share with anyone, he was so easy to talk to.
"I guess it's time to cut the bull shit" Mike finally summed up our conversation "You're telling me all you need is love, the real kind, but it's up to you to let it in buddy, no one can do that for you"
"I've tried, I get bored so easily"
"You're not choosing the right type of woman dude"
"I don't think I have a type" I laughed "What's the deal with Cedes?" I asked the question before I could engage my brain "I mean is she seeing someone or...?"
"Or" he laughed "I'd say she was like you, but opposite"
"I don't even know what the opposite of me looks like"
"I didn't till I met T" Mike informed me "Now I couldn't imagine life without her"
"To be honest I've just walked out of my last wreak of a relationship, I don't intend on doing that again for a while"
"Still on the fence" Mike laughed "You've just finished telling me all you need is love and now you're rejecting the thought?"
"Not rejecting, just not chasing it"
"I need to get ready to get to the diner"
"Oh yeah" I smiled remembering Cedes was singing tonight "I guess she'll be ready to get back" I jumped up to go find my chaperone, it had been at least three hours since we'd left them. We finally left the house promising to return for dinner on Sunday, I was happy to spend some more time with Mike, it was nice to have a guy to talk to. The journey home was full of conversation about conversations, it flowed easy, we were laughing a lot, I even found myself holding the door open for her when we got back to the café, it felt comfortable.
After something to eat she announced she was going upstairs to get ready, I felt it only right that I make the effort too. I didn't have much in the way of smart clothes, I wasn't that kind of man, it dawned on me that I'd never had to make any sort of effort for a while, so I enjoyed getting ready for once.
She looked spectacular when she walked into the room, took my breath away, I felt like the luckiest man on earth when she sat at my table, the night wasn't how I'd expected, it was more like an open mic night and people went up played music, sang, read poetry, it was a mixed bag of fun
"Cedes" Some guy came up to our table stopping a conversation, we were just getting into
"Dru" she jumped up smiling as they hugged
"Never knew you were back?"
"I've got a few months"
"We'll need to catch up, what are you doing after this?"
"I've just come back, it's been a long day, can I take a rain check on that?"
"Sure, call me" he smiled and walked away, I felt like I was treading on someone's toes, it took me a second to realise I didn't care
She sang, like the angel I knew she was, I got up and did something too, after a fair few drinks we were laughing like old friends, eventually there was a silence in our conversation as we both listened to the love song that guy Dru was singing, I thought for a second she was into him, she was listening so intensely "Do you want to dance?" she asked out the blue, I got up and waited for her hand, randomly the song had meaning for me.
...It's so beautiful, you and me, I can make your dreams come true, babe, we can take it slow, I just need to know, let me show you, you
You got me feeling all of these feelings, I need to know, am I tripping? It's too soon to call it love, I know you're feeling, all of these feelings
Let me know, if your waiting, you just got to tell me now, Oh... 'Feelings' by Dru Scot
The next morning, we woke up in the same bed fully dressed and still laughing, and until last night we'd spent every day and night together, and I can't lie, I fell in love for the first time in my life I'm whipped, I have a best friend, and her family like me.
So why did the random I left the day I found Cedes turn up at the café calling me a worthless baby daddy. If I never did anything else I protected myself, and I pulled out, so there was no way that child was mine, especially with her, I just needed to get Cedes to listen to me long enough to understand that. The one time in my life I was totally innocent, and I was going to lose the only person I'd truly ever loved because of this lie.
End of Sam's POV
"And for your information I didn't mess anything up, that girls a liar"
"We believe that, but it's not about us is it" Mike looked over at Cedes still talking to Dru
"I can't sit here watching that anymore, I've got to go mess that up before that fool thinks he's got a foot in" Sam snapped getting up before Mike could stop him "Cedes" he interrupted their conversation "Can we..."
"Excuse me Dru" Cedes turned to tell the guy, turned and walked through the café and down the corridor to what had become our room "What do you want Sam?" she turned to asked before he could close the door
"To tell you that baby isn't mine" he huffed "I don't know why she's saying that I've always been careful, very careful, you know that about me"
"Do I?"
"Cedes" he grabbed her hands "I've never been afraid of losing someone before, to be honest I've never cared about anyone the way I care about you" he looked into her eyes "I wouldn't have started anything with you if I thought there was anything like this out there, I don't believe her" he looked into her eyes wondering if she believed him, he'd put people in this situation so many times himself and from the start he knew he wasn't going to believe them "God" he gasped at the realisation of the hurt he'd caused so many people "Just let me find her, talk to her and sort this out, I'll..." he stood wondering exactly what he was going to do "Look" he breathed out heavy "I've tried this relationship thing a thousand times and to be honest nine hundred and ninety nine of them didn't work, but this time... I'm all in Cedes, I can't lose you"
"Lucky for you, I'm all in too" she stepped closer to him "And I know that child isn't yours"
"Thank you" he hugged her
"I mean I really know, because I spoke to her last night, she said she was jealous for seeing you with someone else, she's carrying twins that's why she looked so pregnant" Cedes laughed "I have one question" she looked up at him "How could you wait twelve hours to..." she didn't get to finish the question his lips were on hers because he didn't know how he'd kept away either
"Your mother needs help" her Pops knocked the door shouting, they pulled away like naughty school kids
"We better go back" she giggled
"We better" he kissed her again before they left the room, Cedes to the counter him to the table he was sharing with Mike
"Are you two alright again?" Mike asked shocked
"Yeah" Sam smiled "We're the real thing"
"She loves you for sure"
"I think we're both on that page" he smiled looking up at Dru singing his heart out again, but this was their song, he looked over at her smiling at him "Back in a bit" he told Mike walking off "Dance?" he asked
"Nobody's dancing" she looked around the café
"But this is our song" he smiled at her grabbing his hand to walk around the counter to join him
...Oh, it feels so right, we can spend the night get to know how you feel, and I know it's real
My hands around your waist, waiting for the day, now it's all you. baby you
It's so beautiful, you and me, I can make your dreams come true, babe, we can take it slow, I just need to know
Let me show you, you... 'Feelings' by Dru Scot