Hey Jude
Success is achieved and maintained by those who try and keep trying.
Wednesday
It was two forty-five when the phone rang, Sam had his phone in his hand waiting for it, because for the past two weeks it was always two forty-five or there abouts, almost every single day since that boy had started his senior year in a new school "I'm on my way" Sam closed the call quickly so he could get the cussing out his system and at least try and calm down before he got to the school.
His next call was to the boy's mother, when this all started, she'd been screaming discrimination, they both had. Because of their work, they'd moved into an area that wasn't very blended, and maybe their own experiences had a lot to do with their perception of the way people could be, made it easy for them to make that call. It took them a while to come to terms with the fact that their innocent, green eyed, dirty blond-haired, genius was the problem, or that some of the things Jude was being accused of were his fault. They'd finally had to back down when they were shown close circuit coverage of him physically vandalising someone's locker, the shame of it made them finally admit to themselves that the boy was out of control.
"Not again" Mercy asked with upset in her voice, "Give me twenty, I'll meet you there" he could hear her already packing things away
"Swing by and get me" he told her "Parking"
"Where did we go wrong with that boy?" she asked
"I really don't know" Sam's voice full of bewilderment
"Maybe the move was the wrong thing to do?"
"No, he was getting just as bad there, we thought the change would calm him down, remember?"
"Obviously not" she told him "See you in a bit"
"In a bit"
Within half an hour they were sitting outside the principal's office staring at Jude who didn't seem at all phased by the whole thing, his head constantly in his phone as they tried to get answers from him
"Jude" Mercy called to him, looking at Sam when the boy didn't respond
"Jude" Sam snapped "Put the damn phone down, can't you hear your mom talking to you?"
"Say notin" he looked up for a second before going back to his phone
"Say... what the hell?" Sam looked at Mercy, screwing his face at her shrugging her shoulders "We are saying something" he looked at their son "This has to stop Jude, this isn't what we expect from you, what's going on?"
"Notin" he looked up at his father's raised voice, if nothing else, good or bad, he responded to a raised voice
"So, we're sitting here for nothing?"
"It wasn't my fault" Jude snapped "You never listen to my side of any story; you just believe what the idiots tell you?" he stopped looking at his phone while he spoke
"So, talk to us" Mercy begged him "Give us something to fight for you with"
"That's long" he shrugged his shoulder and looked back down at his phone again
"Mr and Mrs Evans" the principle they were used to seeing smiled at them "Please come through" he stood in the doorway of his office letting them get past him "This is Blaine Anderson our child psychologist, and you already know Tina Cohen Chang, Jude's mentor" he watched them all shake hands before everyone sat down.
Tina had been assigned to Jude, along with a few other children, because they were new at the school. It was already a difficult educational year, so to have rebuilding relationships, finding your space, and choosing your options all piled on at one time, it was felt he along with the others, needed some support, and she was it.
"Blaine has spent some time with Jude this afternoon following the incident" Will told them "Which I understand wasn't very productive and that in turn has resulted in us calling this meeting, so, thanks for coming in at such short notice"
"We like to get things resolved" Sam told him
"Right, time is precious, so let's just jump in, shall we?" Will smiled "Blaine?" Will looked at him
"Yes" Blaine sat forward "I'm sure we all know by now, the teen years come with their own unique stresses, the kids of today are conflicted, they're striving to be individual but still need to be accepted by their peers" he smiled "They know everything even without the apparent lack of experience, on top of that they think they're invincible, but I've never known a generation so steeped in mental unwellness" he looked at Jude "Jude particularly can be very challenging towards authority, which in turn means he always presents in self-destruct mode"
"Sorry" Mercy stopped him "You're not actually telling us anything we don't already know about our son, what happened today?"
"Jude?" Blaine turned to the boy for an explanation.
"Manz told me he was gon dead me, so I dead him first"
"What?" Sam looked at Mercy puzzled, he didn't understand a word his son said "What are you talking like that for?"
"Calm" he told his dad
"I don't even know who the hell this is" Sam rolled his eyes and crossed his legs at the knee, leaning on the arm of the chair to allow his fist to hold his mouth shut
"So, you had a fight?" Mercy asked "What about?"
"Nob said we had beef, told him manz wanted to sort it, situation got bait, we let off"
"The language" Sam rolled his eyes "Nob?"
"He's listening to that drill stuff, mostly the rappers from the UK" Mercy whispered to him
"There's a genre for that stuff?"
"Sam" Mercy smiled
"Why did you think you had to lay hands on the other boy son?" Sam turned to Jude to ask
"Defending init" Jude looked at his dad for a second to answer
Sam sat looking at his son, shaking his head, the boy had always been one to push boundaries and when he was a toddler, that was cute, he was learning to be himself and they felt home was the space for him to do that in. Not that home had ever been as stable as it was today, they moved with the work, and he generally moved with them, but when they could, he stayed with their parents. It had never been that they'd seen his character as offensive, or troublesome, he was an intelligent young man, well mannered, and when it came to school, he was top of his class in most subjects, having benefitted from home and private schooling.
Then one day he came home from a term in a private school with this drill music belting out his pod, he started changing his accent, it was as if he was a British born person living his life in America, his dress code changed, conversations with his parents stopped, and then this behaviour, it was as if he was in another time zone, they were sharing a house with a human being they didn't even know.
"There's difficult teens, then there's Jude" Sam huffed "We never saw this coming" he shook his head bewildered
"He pushes boundaries, always has" Mercy smiled at Blaine "In the past few months he's been disrespectful, disobedient, not listened, broken house rules, backchatted, been provoking even, but actual physically hurting someone, that's a new thing" she looked at Jude "What made you do that son?"
"Defending" he hissed looking at his mother, his eyes wide, she could tell he was irritated
"Don't you dare talk to your mother like that" Sam uncrossed his legs and sat forward telling him "Give me that phone" he held his hand out and Jude dropped it in his dad's hand "It's confiscated"
"Sam" Mercy touched his arm "Count to ten and take deep breaths"
"Good advice" Blaine smiled
"Sorry" Sam raked his hair off his face "This boy knows how to test the patience of a saint" he looked at Jude "Something has to change son, we're at our wits end with this behaviour"
"Calm" Jude smiled at him
"I knew our boy was still in there somewhere" Sam smiled back at him "Maybe I don't spend enough time with you, is that it?" he looked at Jude and then Tina "I mean when he was younger, we worked alternate hours, he was always with us, and of course his grandparents were around him a lot more, they're older now it's not possible for them to visit as often, and..."
"... Mr Evans, Jude talks about all of his younger years a lot" Tina smiled "We've recently talked about triggers, and to be honest, that boy getting in his face would have been one of them, we've just started to talk about alternative behaviours, which of course will be high on our agenda now" she looked at Jude "But as you said Mrs Evans, getting physical is something new Jude's brought to the table. He didn't have much to say about it today, I believe he's still not in the right headspace to have any discussions about it, but we've agreed to try at our next session" she smiled at Jude again "Haven't we?"
"Mm" Jude replied without looking at her
"So, what's going to happen for him from the events of today?" Sam asked
"He's been physically abusive, and school policy dictates that he should be excluded for five days, but because he's agreed to work with Blaine for five sessions, we thought three days might be appropriate" Will told them "I'm sorry it's come to this Mr & Mrs Evans, you know we've tried everything to not have to get to this outcome, but Jude isn't very good with boundaries, as you know"
"Say notin" Jude got up
"Where are you going?" Sam asked him
"Get my tings" he opened the door and left the office
"I'm not sure where to go with him" Sam looked at Will concerned "It feels like he's spiralling out of control, he doesn't express any feelings, he just sits in his room listening to that whatever it is, and ranting nonsensical lyrics"
"Maybe we could talk about setting some boundaries with Jude" Blaine smiled "Who does he listen to the most?"
"Both of us" Mercy told him
"So, you could share the load" Blaine smiled "I wonder if Jude gets enough down time, I mean he's on his phone an awful lot, could it be confiscated when he goes to bed?"
"We don't really dictate bedtime, he's sixteen" Mercy smiled
"Maybe you should, he's in the important school years, his brain needs lots of down time, he's not going to take it himself, you're going to have to create ways to make him get it"
"Taking his phone is fine out here, but if we do that at home he has his Xbox, laptop, TV, so many other distractions in his room..."
"You might need to remove them, or do regular checks to make sure they're off" Tina told him
"You must understand this is the first time Jude's going to have a settled home since he's been born, with our work we've been on the road, and he's been with us, we want him to make friends, have his own things around him permanently, we think it's important he feels settled" Mercy told them
"Sorry" Will butted in "We're still waiting for the notes from his previous school to arrive"
"Maybe if he listens to you both you could just tell him, everything off at whatever time you decide" Blaine added "If that doesn't work then move to something more forceful" he smiled "Like taking things away"
"Lack of concentration in school is something we're working on, and lack of sleep might be contributing to that" Tina told them "He says he's just not tired, but he clearly is"
"How is all this contributing to him hitting a kid?" Sam butted in
"I think we're just trying to make sense of the changes Jude's presented over the past two weeks, it's been drastic, and I suppose we're looking for triggers" Tina told him
"We are still having to wake him up every day for school" Mercy admitted "And that's a task on its own" she rolled her eyes "Waking him up in the wrong way makes for a bad day for everyone"
"The wrong way?" Blaine asked
"Shouting at him" she looked at Sam "It's really frustrating to keep repeating yourself, but when he does hear, if it's a harsh call he gets up roaring like a lion, and stays that way all day" she smiled "Then he has a certain routine he has to do in the mornings or everything is out of sync" she huffed "Washes himself a specific amount of times, only uses certain toiletries, marches water through the house because his feet can't touch the dirty floor, which is isn't" she quickly added "Dresses himself a specific way, it's a lot"
"As parents you've given away your power" Blaine told them "And that might be guilt for maybe not being there as much as you were when he was a child, as you said earlier Mr Evans, or overcompensating for something else?" he asked
"Maybe overcompensating" Sam admitted looking at Mercy "Jude was a twin, his sister died when she was four days old, he doesn't really know about that, but as a twin you're always missing something, according to my dad, his twin brother died when he was twenty-five in an accident. He talks about his void a lot, still does, and he suggested we try to fill that void for Jude" he looked at Mercy
"Thing is we don't understand the void, so it's really hard to deal with something you don't understand"
"Very true" Blaine smiled "And I can do some work with him around that"
"He mustn't know" Mercy told them "He can never know"
"I'd be very discreet Mrs Evans" Blaine smiled "But in the meantime, from our end, you could work on setting Jude some boundaries, he'll push back no doubt, he's looking towards being more independent at the moment, and we don't want to squash that, we just want to help him make some good choices"
"What do you suggest?" Mercy asked
"Maybe set some ground rules, make them so he has to try at it, like respecting you guys and getting the same in return, and I find house rules go down a treat too, if he's expected to do things in the house, like eat at the table, no gadgets at the table, clean his space on certain days, get his washing to the laundry, maybe even do the dishes or something like that"
"I can hear him screaming child labour already" Sam laughed
"Maybe you could draw it up like a contract, get him taking some ownership of it" Tina suggested "We set ground rules for our sessions, and he was up for that"
"Interesting" Mercy sat thinking things through
"Consistency is the key, don't faulter at the first hurdle" Will told them
"He's not a bad boy, he's just going through puberty I guess, and having a rough time of it" Sam told him "I wasn't as bad as this, but I do remember things getting tough"
"Ready?" Jude walked back into the office asking
"Are we done here?" Sam asked Will
"Sure" Will smiled "Jude, we'll see you on Monday"
"Sir" Jude replied as Sam and Mercy got up
"Thanks for dealing with this so quickly" Mercy shook Wills hand "And thank you for all the support you're giving him" she smiled at Tina
"Let's chip" Jude huffed walking off
"You've definitely given us food for thought" Sam shook Blaine's hand telling him, finally saying their goodbyes before they left the office and the school
"We gonna get some food?" Jude asked as they got into the car
"What do you want sweetheart?" Mercy turned to ask him
"Chicken" he leaned forward "I'm sorry you had to come here" Sam and Mercy looked at each other, relieved their son had shown his true self again
"Are you going back to work?" Sam asked her "Makes sense, because I'm still writing"
"Okay" she told him "After we get chicken" she looked at Jude as the engine started, they were on their way to the chicken shop and parked up "Grab three meals" she turned to give Jude some money "And get juice not soda" she called as they watched him leave the car and walk into the shop
"I was thinking maybe I should spend some time with him today, take him somewhere and try to get through to him, find out what's going on for him, what do you think?"
"Anything that will help to bring our boy back is good with me" she frowned "We've already tried ways that didn't work"
"I'll see what he wants to do"
"No" Mercy smiled "Setting boundaries remember, tell him what he's doing"
"Okay"
They ate their meal and chatted about anything but the current problem before Mercy dropped Jude and Sam home and went back to work, that album wasn't getting done on its own.
"Hey Jude" Sam called him just as he decided to make his way upstairs "I thought we could go spend some time at the lake, catch up a bit have some father son time, change your clothes and we'll make an afternoon of it"
"But I was..."
"You were, now you're doing this with me" he smiled "Call it punishment"
"Say notin" he sluggishly climbed the stairs and took his time in getting back down, his way of rebelling against his dad's choice
They took the twenty-minute drive to the lake and sat in the car staring out at the almost still pool of water for the longest time, it was nearing the middle of spring, everything was coming to life, the smells and noises made you easily forget there was a main road just half a mile away
"Remember when we used to go fishing?" Sam asked his son finally getting out the car
"Mm" he replied getting out the car to follow his dad
"You used to love that, wherever we were, we'd find somewhere to wonder off to, when mom was busy and just sit and fish"
"Mm"
"Remember how mortified I was when you told me you didn't want to do that anymore" he laughed "That you wanted a skateboard instead?" he widened his eyes "And then my heart was in my mouth every time you went up a ramp, or jumped a curb or did some mad move with those guys you'd hooked up with, I don't think your mom still knows about those days" he laughed "We connected then, we were like best friends" he looked at his son "What happened to us, to our relationship?"
"I grew up dad"
"And somehow we missed it and that makes me sad"
"You didn't miss it" Jude smiled "You just weren't ready for it"
"That's true" Sam looked out at the lake, smiling to himself because his son had just communicated with him again like old times "So tell me, what wasn't I ready for?"
"I don't..." he looked at his dad
"What?" Sam looked into his son's worried eyes "You can tell us anything son, we're always going to be on your side, we love you"
"I don't think it was you, I think it was me" his eyes quickly looked at the lake "I..." he stopped to think, Sam sat in silence waiting for him to find his words "You're country, through and through, and I love country nearly as much as I love you, mom's R&B and everything I could ever want in a mom, and more and I love her too" he huffed "And I know you want the very best for me" he looked at his dad "But those dreams you need from me are too big, I don't think I'll ever make you guys as proud of me as you need to be"
"Son" Sam looked at him shocked
"I'm trying to make my own way" he huffed "I don't know what that is yet, and it's hard jumping out of the shoes you've made for me, I'm running away from the disappointment you're going to have when I don't measure up"
"Disappointment?" Sam's heart broke to hear that word
"There's too much pressure dad"
"Hey" he nudged his son to look at him "Jude" he smiled as their eyes met "The day I found out you were joining us was magical, it was Father's Day and we'd gone home to see our parents, lugged all these parcels, a cake I remember, and even thrown a couple of deck chairs in the boot for good measure" he laughed "It was granddad Jones' last father's day and we wanted to make it special, we knew he didn't have long left" he smiled at the memory "We burst into the house laden with goodies and they shouted surprise at us, I was confused 'There's only one father being celebrated today' granddad Jones told us, I looked at your mom and she was beaming 'Surprise' she grinned" he hugged his son "One of the happiest moments of my life"
"Mom always says he was the first to hold me"
"He was, he waited to see your face before he left us" he smiled "So, after a blessing from Granddad Jones, eight months of cravings, seventeen hours of labour, sixteen years of wiping runny noses, licking your wounds, and watching you grow into this handsome guy that even I'm jealous of, do you really think we could look at you and see disappointment?" he asked "Why do you think we put ourselves through all of that?"
"Because you love me" he smiled
"Unconditionally" Sam smiled
"Unless I mess with mom"
"Of course," Sam laughed "And then you can count yourself lucky if I get to you first" he threw his arm around Jude's neck "So, give me the downlow on this new genre of yours"
"It's just a hype, I like the accent" he laughed "I spend most of my time looking words up on the internet, and most of them are so street they don't exist"
"So, you don't understand it?"
"Listen to it long enough you get the drift"
"Can I?" Sam asked looking at his phone
"No dad" Jude laughed "It's not the kind of stuff you'd call music, ex rated"
"And you're listening to it?"
"Hearing, not listening" he laughed
"What do you say we listen to some music I can understand together?"
"Like old times" Jude smiled "Love to" he got up
"Let's go home then" Sam got up feeling pleased with himself for at least having a conversation with the boy, because now at least now they had something to go on. The drive home was taken up with conversations about which song meant the most to them and why. They got home and headed straight to the music room, laughing and joking with each other just like they used to, neither missing a beat.
"I've got one" Jude pulled an album off the rack "Mom would love to hear this when she comes in" he held it up to show his dad
"Our song" Sam smiled "She believes you were conceived to that song"
"Dad" he squirmed "Too much information"
Sam laughed taking the album off him and heading over to the player, they still loved the crackle of Vinyl as it made its introduction to something great "Hear that?" he turned asking his son
"Is this an alternative to punishment?" Mercy walked in to find them about to enjoy themselves asking, kicking her shoes off and throwing her bag on the couch "Good to see my boys playing nice again"
"We had some productive father son time" Sam smiled holding his hand out for her to join them
"This is for you" Jude told her "To say sorry, I've been a pain"
"Mm" she smiled looking at Sam "Our wedding song" she walked towards them smiling, hugging Jude and kissing his forehead "You're never a pain sweetheart, just difficult to read sometimes" she hugged him before making her way to her husband "Babe" she leaned in for her usual kiss "I'm proud of you" she kissed him again "You got our boy back" she kissed him again longer that time
"Too much for me, can I go now?" Jude asked screwing his face at his parents making out in front of him
"Hey Jude" Sam called after him
"Dad?" he turned asking
"I love you buddy"
"Love you both back" Jude smiled before leaving the room
"Can I have this dance?" Sam asked his wife
"Always" she fell into his arms and rested her head on his chest
Got to tell you how you thrill me, I'm happy as I can be, you have come, and it's changed my whole world
Bye-bye sadness, hello mellow, what a wonderful day
It's so amazing to be loved, I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above
I'd go, and it's so amazing, amazing (so amazing), I could stay forever, forever (stay for ever) … 'So Amazing' by Luther Vandross
"And you're still so amazing"
"And you'll be amazed to know I love you, so much more than I did last night"
"Is that possible?" he laughed
"You're going to find out later"