You guys! I'm scared. I think that we're halfway through the story and if I keep updating at this pace . . . Ahhh, I will not say it! Anywho, I didn't take a month, but I did take a little longer than I had planned. I had wanted to post this Sunday, but Katara was like, "Nope, I haven't had my say yet, so it's Katara's fault. Anywho, this chapter wrote itself quite literally. Kid you not, any time I attempted to steer or elaborate on anything, it would be like, "Nope, I'm in charge you're just the hands." So I hope you guys like it and enjoy! Please let my brain know how you liked it in a review! Which by the way, thank you so much to all of you precious human beings that took the time to write kind words! They made me so happy!

Also, I couldn't help myself.

Previously, on Avatar . . .

"I was going to take his bending away."

They all paled, horrified. Several things dawned on them at once. I'm sure of it. The first being that taking someone's ability to bend is possible. The second being that I truly could have spared Ozai. And the third, that I chose not to.

Chapter 15: Aang and Katara

Every beat from my anxious heart seems to stretch into several minutes, but I know it's been only a few seconds. My hands clasp together over my crossed legs. Swallowing down my nerves, I force myself to face them, very much in sync with my inner earthbender and thousands of miles away from the airbender.

"That's why your heartbeat has been off?" Toph mutters, "You've been keeping things to yourself?"

Murky green eyes narrow. I nod. Sokka snaps out of his stupider and exclaims, "It's not possible!"

"I've never done it, but I'm sure it's possible." I blink a few times to urge the moisture away, "The lion-turtle energy bended me, which I think is how I gained the ability, but I haven't actually used it unless you count Azula."

Sokka stares at me as if I were speaking lemur. His blue eyes flicker from shock to confusion and settle on unadulterated disbelief, "What's the catch?"

"The catch?" I ask him, "What do you . . ."

He looks like he wants to blurt out something, but he holds it in. Waving his hands around, he exclaims, "You couldn't even slice a watermelon!"

Zuko groans. Toph smacks Sokka over the head, "I think what meathead is trying to say is that if taking his bending away was so cut and dry, you would have done it. So what are you not saying? Out with it, Twinkletoes."

"Aang," Suki asks cautiously, "What exactly did the . . . lion-turtle tell you?"

"I told you," I mumble with a wave of my hand, "In the era before the Avatar, we bent not the elements but the energy within ourselves. Energy bending. Yada yada. Bending goes away."

I keep my gaze focused on the way my fingers scratch behind Momo's ears. Toph sounds irritated, "But how?"

"Did the lion-turtle not give you more information? You're not really saying how you're supposed to do it, just what it is." Suki pipes in.

For the first time, I let myself think on that. I know I could have spared Ozai using energy bending. That was never a doubt. I also know what it is and when to do it. On some level, I know I'm hesitating. I curl my fingers into fists.

"I know how to do it, just not how to explain how to do it."

Four pairs of eyes look at me expectantly. I frown, "Isn't it enough to know it can be done?"

"We just watched you make Azula go completely quiet without an ounce of violence, Aang." Zuko says firmly, "Not even my mother was able to control her. I have never seen her so unsettled. I'm not even sure I completely understand what energy bending is. You didn't take Azula's bending."

"No." I answer after a beat. "When you energy bend, you essentially touch another persons spirit."

Suki's eyes widen, "So then what you did to Azula . . . That's how you know what she was feeling?"

Momo curls deeper into my lap. Lightly scratching his head, I say, "Bending is a form of energy and usually tied or triggered by our emotions. Energy bending involves the transfer of energies, so sort of."

My eyes dart to Katara. Her eyes are intensely glued to the floor. My heart beats heavily, "All I did to Azula is let her feel peace for a second."

"Why?"

She doesn't look at me. Katara's voice holds no emotion. I swallow down my anxiety, "To show her I could. So she would understand how I knew what Ozai was feeling. So she would know that death wasn't the only option."

I pretend not to see her fists curl. I pretend not to notice Zuko's face harden. I pretend that Toph isn't any more pale than usual and that Sokka isn't looking at me like I'm a different person. I most certainly don't notice that Suki's eyes are shinning with what I can only recognize as disappointment. My lips quiver and I clench my teeth to stop it.

"You said he was still a human being."

My nails are digging into my palms.

"You said that you couldn't go around killing people you don't like."

The sting of my palms is no match to the pain the hardness in Katara's voices causes.

"You said that all life is sacred."

Her voice wavers. Still, her eyes don't lift in my direction.

"You said that revenge-"

"It wasn't revenge!" I blurt before I can stop myself.

She won't look at me. Do I disgust her so much? In a sudden movement, I'm on my knees. Momo rushes away to hide behind Sokka. I thought that I was . . . I thought that I could . . . handle . . . that I could just . . . that I would just . . . listen and take her anger, their disgust . . . but I can't. Suddenly, I feel the need to explain myself, to tell them how much I regret it. I want to tell them that I wasn't angry for me, that I wasn't looking to punish him, that I don't think it was the right thing. I want to tell them-

"Why?" Katara whispers, "Why did you do it then?"

I move my mouth as if to speak, but words are hard to grasp.

"If it was that easy, that simple, then why did you kill him if not for revenge?"

"Katara!" Sokka snaps. Her eyes are raging storms when she turns to him. Something unspoken passes between them because he says nothing after. He crosses his arms and looks away.

"It's not easy." I tell her, unable to keep quiet. The cushion on Sokka's lap has floral designs. Fire lilies. Souta's question rings in my ears: at what cost? I hardly understood what energy bending was in the beginning. I'm not sure I completely understand it now, but I wonder still. What does it mean to be unbendable? If my spirit is bendable, then what would have become of me?

"And I've said it already, I was angry. I made a mistake, alright!"

I'm standing now. She still refuses to meet my eyes. Her chest rises and fall as she takes a deep breath. Barely above a whisper, her voice is plain, "There is only one other person I hate with the intensity I hate my mother's killer."

I feel my heart drop. Is this were she tells me to never talk to her? Is this where she calls me a hypocrite that had no right denying her society's so called justice? Holding my breath, she finally looks up. Her eyes are glistening, "What did he say?"

"Huh?"

There is so much pain in her eyes, it overwhelms me. Furiously, she demands, "What did you see in that monster?"

My mouth wobbles as I struggle to organize my thoughts. Doesn't she hate me? Why won't she say it already? I look at my friends. The disappointment in Suki's face has melted into something I recognize now as sadness. Toph has the same hopeless look she had when Appa was snatched and I blamed her for it. Sokka is looking at Katara with wonder and realization. And Zuko, his eyes are still hard, but when our eyes meet, I understand that he is not angry at me. I can't imagine what is going on in his mind, but I know that in his mind nothing has changed between us. Finally, I let myself turn back to Katara.

Her fingers are curled tightly around the fabric of her robes. She looks at me unwaveringly. My tears fall thickly, "He was angry and hateful. All he wanted was to be powerful. To rule over others. He really believed that he was above everything and everyone. Katara, how can someone be so . . . so cruel?"

I have no will power to avoid the plead that comes with that question. I wipe my face aggressively in one motion. She presses her lips together. I turn away from her, "He said my people didn't deserve to live? In his world. As if he owned it. As if he had any right to decide! No one, Katara. No one. Not me. Not Ozai. No one should have the power to decide who lives or dies."

Clenching my jaw, I say, "My people died fighting."

A little laugh leaves me, "We had no military. Not really. No one bothered us because we never bothered anyone. We always tried our best to help where we could."

"But you know what, I wasn't going to kill him over that. After all, he wasn't the one that ambushed my people. Sozin did. I thought that with time, maybe one day, he would understand how wrong he was. Still, I almost killed him when I went into the Avatar state. I stopped myself, but even then, he mocked me. Called me weak. I didn't care, but he didn't SHUT UP! I ALMOST KILLED HIM. I HAD HIM AT THE AVATARS' MERCY AND HE STILL MOCKED MY DEAD PEOPLE. HE BRAGGED THAT HE WOULD DO THE SAME TO THE EARTH KINGDOM!"

Almost breathless, I spat, "They weren't worthy in his eyes either."

"So shameless." I whisper. "I thought of Hama, Haru, Jet, Yue. All of our friends. All of the people we've met. Everyone that stupid superiority complex has hurt . . . "

I reach over my shoulder to rub over the fabric cover the scar there, "I nearly choked him to death. Even after he saw the damage he made, he was so proud. He tried to get me while I had my back turned. I lost it."

"I couldn't help think that he couldn't stay. Regardless of what I believed, he had to go."

"You sacrificed your morals for us." Suki's voice floats feather light across the room.

"Don't make it sound okay, Suki." I tell her sharply, "I was wrong!"

"I should have just taken his bending away! I should have given him the chance to change one day. I-"

"He was never going to change." Katara says softly. Her eyes full of water.

"You don't know that!" I shout back at her.

"Then why didn't you take his bending, Aang." It's Toph this time. She stomps up to me. Her arms are crossed, "Don't lie to us. Yes you were angry, but that's not everything. So say it. Why?"

At what cost?

It rings in my head. I clutch my ears. Shaking my head, I yell, "I'm not unbendable!"

I wasn't strong enough to control myself.

"I'm just Aang! A stupid kid that likes riding elephant koi and doing air bending tricks. A stupid kid that tried so hard to honor his peoples memory, but ultimately failed!"

"I-"

I grunt as Katara crashes into me. Her arms tightly around me. My hands tightly hold onto her, "I didn't want to kill him. I didn't want to!"

"I know, Aang. I know."

"I should have used energy bending. I should have ignored him." I blubber, "How could he be so cruel? Katara, how?"

"I don't know, Aang."

Sobbing shameless into her robes, I cry out feebly, "I regret it, Katara."

She holds me tighter. My body sags with something I can only describe as closely resembling painful relief when she says, "I would love you even if you didn't, Aang."

Hiccups barely under control, I ask her, "You should be disgusted by me."

She doesn't say anything for a while. When she does, it sounds loud but it's spoken softly, "I can never do that, Aang. Your heart is beautiful and as much as it hurts to see you in so much pain, I hope it never hardens."

"Aang," I hear Sokka in the background, "You are beating yourself up harder than anyone of us will ever be able to. I know that you'll never agree with us on this, but Ozai got what was coming to him."

"For once, Sokka is right-"

"Hey!"

"The guy tried to wipe out my nation, I'm not sorry. No one in their right mind would be-" Toph grunts in pain. She yells at Zuko reproachfully, "Quit doing that!"

"If my father had an ounce of good in his heart, he would still be alive."

I pull away from Katara. Zuko is watching me and I know that his words are not said to make me feel better. He believes them. I wrap my arms around myself, "I really wanted to spare him, Zuko."

In five strides, he's in front of me. His hands are on my shoulders and knees are bent so we look each other in the eyes, "I know. You're a good kid, Aang."

I'm not sure if he initiated it, or if he just got stuck in the middle of everyone's group hug, but I know that his hands hold me closely with the same warmth I felt from Katara. At last, I feel my guilt lighten. Though I still believe it was wrong to kill Ozai, I no longer feel the drowning loneliness of my guilt. Amongst my friends, I finally feel like I could sleep a couple of light years.

A cough breaks our group hug apart.

"Prince Zuko. General Iroh and Chief Hakoda have arrived. Would you like me to allow them in?"

I hastily wipe my eyes. Zuko looks at me and we both turn to Katara who in turn stares at Sokka. Toph crosses her arms, but even she looks startled. Finally, Suki grins weakly, "Uh, yes please, Wan Lee."

Wan Lee glances at Zuko for approval. At the nod of Zuko's head, the man bows, "Very well, madam."

'Madam?' Suki mouths as he flees the room. Heart pounding loudly, I wonder, what do I do now? I bring a hand up to my head. A bout of dizziness makes me stumble slightly. Katara is holds me up immediately.

"Are you okay? Do you need to sit?"

I shake my head, "No, I'm tired. I'll be fine."

She frown. The look in her eye tells me there's no point arguing with what she says next, "Sokka, tell dad I'll see him tomorrow. Aang needs rest and I want to take another look at his scar."

Without waiting for an answer, she leads me out in the direction of my chambers. No one tries to stop her. My eyes are trying hard to stay open and by the time she has me face down on the bed, I can hardly speak. Blinking tiredly, I manage to whisper, "I'm sorry I'm taking time away from your dad."

I don't hear her response.

Katara

Pressing my lips over his forehead, I close my eyes tightly.

My time is yours for the taking, Aang.

I lean back and watch him sleep.

Isn't it tragic how now that you're so lost and confused, it's all clear to me. Watching you sleep, face all scrunched, is a painful reminder that while I had been so busy worrying about you, I had forgotten to watch you worrying about us.

"We could never hate you. I could never hate you." I whisper softly, my fingers smoothing the bridge of his nose.

I will remind you everyday if I need to.

I grasp his hand in mine.

To think that I would feel disgust toward you makes me dizzy. How could you possibly think that you have anything in common with the man, even if just my hate. Yon Rha had shown not an ounce of remorse when I met him. All he wanted was mercy. The man even offered up his own mother as if we were bartering for cabbages. But Aang, my sweet Aang, all you wanted was to be punished.

I got used to taking care of you. I got used to having you close and giving you kisses. I got used to you following me around. Like a deer-dog puppy, so lovable and dependable. Aang, I got used to your stupid marble trick and the rosiness of your cheeks. I got used to the cheeky smile and mischievously eyes often on your face. I got used to you adoring me.

Imagine how confusing it was to meet the boy who was more than a little mischievous. You had too much fun blowing up that factory. I shouldn't think so fondly of that, but I do. Spirits, I didn't realize how bold you are until then. You really shouldn't call any other spirits attractive.

I never thought of you as suave, but you really made me melt that night on the dance floor. Spirits Aang, it's scares me because it's only scratching the surface. It scares me because everything that you are, I've not seen it in so long. All I've seen are your sad eyes and painful thoughts. But you know what, I've always looked after you and this time is no different. Except that this time, I'll be your dependable deer-dog puppy. This time, I'll follow and remind you that I'm here until you know. Until we can be Aang and Katara. If that's still what you want. But Aang, you are not alone. You won't ever be alone, especially not if I'm here.

"Don't keep so much to yourself anymore, okay?"

In deep sleep, he doesn't respond.

The road to healing is long and tedious, but those who love you make it bearable just by being there

-Pyrenees