Previously, on Avatar . . .

I never though of you as suave, but you really made me melt that night on the dance floor. Spirits's Aang, it scares me because it's only scratching the surface. It scares me because everything that you are, I've not seen it in so long. All I've seen are your sad eyes and painful thoughts. But you know what, I've always looked after you and this time is no different. Except this time, I'll be your dependable deer-dog puppy. This time, I'll follow and remind you that I'm here until you know. Until we can be Aang and Katara. If that's still what you want. But Aang, you are not alone. You won't ever be alone, especially not if I'm here.

Chapter 16: Incomplete Puzzles

My name is Aang. I am thirteen years old. I killed the fire lord. I killed the fire. I killed. . . My name is Aang. I am thirteen years old and I killed. I killed. . . My name is Aang. I am thirteen years old and—I killed—I am the Avatar.

I murmur these words like a mantra before the mirror as I smooth down my robes. A knock disturbes my thoughts.

"Avatar Aang, Crown Prince Zuko wishes to inform you breakfast will begin shortly."

Discomfort falls over me. Swallowing my breath, I ask the servant, "Is my presence required?"

" . . . Master Katara requested it. Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe arrived yesterday and is joining as well."

I close my eyes. That's right, I forgot about that. What am I doing? I raise my hand to my face.

"Avatar Aang?"

Blinking hard, I speed to the door and past, "I'm going, thank you"

The servant bows lowly, but I am already down the hall. Only when I am alone do I slow down and take a measured breath. Okay, Aang, you got this. You only had a tear fest yesterday. No biggy. I throw my head back. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. With confidence I don't have, I walk purposefully into the dining room. The light chatter stops immediately and several eyes look at me. A mix of relief and concern reflect their gazes. One quick search fills me with dread and uncertainty. Everyone has shifted their place. Oddly enough, the seat between Zuko and Katara remains open, my usual spot.

Katara stands, "Aang!"

Her voice is warm and eyes are gentle. Did I dream yesterday? That can't be, I have had such wild dreams since the invasion. Only when I take the seat next to her, does she sit. Her hand immediately cups my cheek. My face flushes as she leads my eyes to hers. Blue in color, it's like watching the ocean waves on a summer day. Her lips purse. The hand on my cheek falls lower. Her finger lightly grips my neck and her palm rests on my bare chest. The back of her other hand rises to my forehead, as if the check my temperature. Speechless, I hold her wrists and set them on her lap.

"Katara, I'm fine." I stare in wonder as she eyes me skeptically. Her eyes narrow and then she nods. Turning in her seat, I lose my breath as her hand reaches back to hold my hand under the table. From the other side, Toph chokes on a chunk of meat. Her face is flushed.

"Swallow!" Sokka exclaims.

She glares in between gasps, "No—Let me . . . Just keep . . . Ugh . . . Choking!"

Suki hands her a glass of water and pats her back soothingly. Katara is leaning toward them with worry, but her hand keeps a tight hold on mine.

Zuko leans over, golden eyes serious but without any hardness in them, "Can we talk after?"

My heart throbs, but I nod.

Katara is portioning out the rice. Sokka is consuming the rice. Toph and Zuko listen attentively to Suki hash out final security details for the coronation. It's like every other day, like nothing has changed. When Katara finally takes a seat again, she says, "Dad shouldn't be too long, he just needed a moment after someone convinced him to stuff a handful of fire flakes in his mouth."

Sokka crosses his arms, "I didn't think he'd find them that spicy."

"You cried the first time you tried them." Katara scoffs

"I did not." Sokka argues, "I was sweating because it was hot! Outside! The temperature! The temperature . . . Was hot . . ."

"Sure, it was." Toph affirms sarcastically.

"Thank you, Top-" Sokka stops midway. He glares at her reproachfully, "You weren't there!"

"Maybe not." Toph smirks, "But human lie detector, remember?"

Zuko rubs his temples. I can almost see the vein on his forehead popping out. Suki looks at me, "I've been meaning to ask you . . . Were they like this even before we joined you?"

I grin for the first time, "This is nothing. At least Sokka's not out there scamming people."

Zuko peaks his eyes from behind his hand in interest. Suki looks scandalized, "Scamming?"

"Hey! That not how-"

Sokka cuts himself short and tries again, "I was-"

His mouth opens and closes as his eyes dart around the table. His eyes settle on Katara, "Katara did it too!"

Zuko lets out a noise of surprise, "Katara?"

Katara blushes as her eyes meet mine. Briefly, her eyes fall below my eyes and then into them. Her eyes sparkle with happiness as she sneaks a wink in my direction before addressing Zuko, "I can have fun sometimes too, Zuko."

"Fun?" Zuko mouths flabbergast. Unable to control myself any longer, I throw my head back and let my laughter out.

"Everyone is very happy today." Chief Hakoda says from the doorway.

Holding my right hand over my leg, I lean on it to hold my upper body upright. I grin, "Zuko is so funny."

Zuko deadpans, "Ha ha."

Rising from my chair, I feel light as I stretch my hand out, "It's good to see you again, Chief Hakoda."

"Likewise," He says pleasantly, his grip is firm.

Zuko has risen from his chair as well and takes his turn, "Chief Hakoda, I'm glad you were able to make it."

"I am happy to be here." His voice is good natured, but there is something serious in his gaze.

"Is everything okay?" Zuko questions.

Hakoda shakes his head as Katara begins to stand, "Everything is fine. Though, I would like to talk when you have the time."

Zuko furrows his brows, "Of course, is it urgent?"

"No, it can wait." Hakoda says calmly, "I would like to spend some time with my children later today first."

"Actually dad, I was going to-"

"Katara," Zuko cuts in suddenly, "I know we talked about it, but do you mind if I do it alone."

She looks hurt, but when Sokka gives her a meaningful stare, her grip on my hand tightens. Turning to me, she asks, "Will you be okay?"

I blink. Did I miss something? I poke my eggs, my good mood gone, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Breakfast is a quiet affair after. The food is cleared and soon everyone is parting ways. I watch with curiosity as Hakoda waits for Katara to finish her hushed conversation with Zuko. Distantly, I wonder what they are talking about. She seems agitated, but deflates when his hands land on her shoulders. He seems to be reassuring her. It creates a pinch in my heart that I don't understand. When she approaches me, I suddenly understand why. Her arms wrap around me and it's a familiar comfort. I let myself rest on her shoulder for a moment as I have the sudden thought: why is it always you comforting me?

Kuzon wasn't one to go around spilling wisdom, but every once in a while he liked to curve the ball. A lot of our days together consisted of lunches on the hill side watching people interact. A group of friends would often come together. Two of them often stayed in my memory.

"Are they friends or what?" I ask Kuzon.

"Best friends I think." Kuzon purses his lips, "Soulmates probably."

The girl covered in red fire puff paste shot a streak of fire from the tips of her fingers that burned an inch of hair off the boy's head. I gape at Kuzon, "Are we looking at the same thing?"

"Aang, my little seedling, I wouldn't expect an 11 year old such as yourself to understand the laws of love."

I raise a brow, "And your 13 year old wisdom does?"

He nods, "Of course! You know what the difference between twelve and thirteen is?"

I shake my head.

He clicks his tongue, "Well, the teen of course!"

I laugh, "Okay, and?"

"It's all about lines, my little duckling," he wraps an arm around my neck. His hands gesture at the air as he speaks, "Thirteen make me a teenager and twelve . . . Well, you're still a child."

"Right, but what difference does it make?"

"Exactly!"

"Kuzon," I groan, "You're not making any sense."

"Aang, Aang, can't you see?"

"No, I can't. That's why this conversation isn't ending."

He rolls his eyes, "Love and hate, both strong emotions on two sides of a coin. But look . . ."

The girl was smoothing boy's hair. She yelled at him, but her hands were gentle. He grumble angrily, but his eyes sparkled with affection when her gaze looked away from his, "Sometimes, the line blurs."

"Are you okay?" Katara asks worriedly, "You disappeared for a minute there."

I grin halfheartedly, "I got lost in memories."

I think one of Zuko's charms is his social ineptitude.

"Aang, I-" He stops. He tries again. He doesn't say more than my name a few times. Eventually, he groans and hits his head on the desk. We're in his study.

"I should have let Katara come along." He mutters.

Oh, so that's what they were arguing about. I sound more confident than I feel when I say, "Just say what you need to, Zuko."

He peaks over the table, "You're giving me anxiety."

Whatever I thought he was going to say, that was not it, "Uh . . ."

"That's more like it." He grins. "Aang, ah, I just wanted to clear the air from yesterday. I know we talked, but I—Katara and I—we know . . . We want to you to be okay."

I blink.

"I know that you are still going to beat yourself up, but we wanted you to know that we don't think any differently about you. I don't feel any differently. You're still my friend. My dearest friend."

My eyes water. I killed your dad, Zuko. He smiles, "I won't lie to you. I am . . . I feel confused. I haven't lost anything. That man gave me the scar on my face. He never loved me . . . but it still hurts."

"Zuko, I am so so sorry. If I-"

"No Aang," He says firmly, "Don't torture yourself like that. If doesn't exist, it is and it's done. You've never hounded me for apologies and it weighs on me that you almost died because of me."

Ba Sing Se. I look down at my hands. I did die. I don't mention that to Zuko. The hollowness I feel is odd, not peaceful or exhausted or anything, but somehow it is, but it's not. My words are sincere regardless, "Thanks, Zuko."

A silence filled with thousands of unspoken words fall between us and as the seconds pass a second wave of conflict seems to settle on Zuko. I suddenly wonder what else is on his mind. How much is he keep to himself? What concerns his head now? Ozai's murder aside, he still has Azula's mental break down and his coronation . . . His family fell apart with the exception of Iroh whom has yet to arrive. He has the wait of a nation to carry awaiting him and years of conflict to fix.

Suddenly, he blurts, "You and Katara, what are you?"

I wonder if this is what Katara felt like when I kissed at Ember Island. What an idiot.

"What?"

"Do you love her?"

"Zuko!" My heart races. His golden gaze stares me down, "I'm being serious."

I gape. I know this is unreasonable of me. I know that I should have seen this coming, but sadness rakes it's sharp nails on my skin. Is this the part where he tells me they are dating? I feel like running. He scowls, "Aang!"

"Yes, okay! Happy! What do you want from me, Zuko!" Where I didn't feel anything before suddenly hidden emotions rush over me like a waterfall, "I don't want to talk about it!"

"She stayed by your side all night." Zuko tells me. His golden eyes try to gauge my reaction. The only thing I feel is my heart exploding. My breath catches. I didn't know.

"I didn't know."

He's going to tell me to stay away. He's going to say they're together. He-

"How long are you going to hold back?"

Huh?

"Huh?"

"If you like her, then stop being a wimp and tell her."

I'm sorry, what?

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Anyone with two eyes can see that you're crazy about each other. I honestly-"

Wait a minute . . .

"Hang on, what are you going on about?" I hiss, "Katara, doesn't feel-"

My heart is in pieces, "Katara and I, we're not . . ."

Zuko stares in disbelief, "You're lying."

I stare at him blankly. He can't be serious.

"You can't be serious, Aang." Zuko palms his forehead, "Why would you think . . . Ugh, that . . . Look, if you never tell her that you feel that way then it's never—"

"I did." I grit my teeth.

"You . . ." Zuko stumbles, "Did."

"Yes." I scowl, "She doesn't feel the same."

The irony slaps me in the face mockingly. Zuko asks, "What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter anymore." I tell Zuko, "Look, it was a great conversation. I'm glad we're good, but I'm gonna go now."

"Aang!"

"See ya, Zuko!"

Katara

Feather like, I run the pad of my thumb across Aang's eyebrow. The back of my fingers lightly skim his cheek with gentleness that I wish would soothe his dreams. When I stand, my feet pat softly against the floor as I close the blinds to the rising sun and leave his room. Making sure to close his door quietly, I nearly jump out of my skin when I find Zuko standing across it. His eyes widen momentarily and then soften.

"How is he?"

My eyes shift towards Aang's door. The slur of his words as he fell asleep rings in my ears and even the complete detachment in his eyes is clear in my mind. My body sags, "Exhausted."

Zuko nods. A heavy silence falls between us. I sigh, "Come on, he needs to rest."

I don't wait to see if he's following. I have no energy to be angry, but I'm far from happy. If the tension between us is anything to go by, I would say he knows. Good, serves him right for giving Aang ridiculous ideas. 'Is this how Aang felt when I went after Yon Rha?' I wonder. 'How long have you been having nightmares? How many restless nights have you had and I've been none the wiser?'

A cool breeze ruffles my hair softly as we step into the courtyard. I can hear Zuko's steps in sync with mine. Rather than yell, I tell him, "I want to help Aang, Zuko."

"You spent all night by his side." Zuko says mildly. "Did you even get any sleep?"

I shrug. I dozed off at some point, but rather than feel tired, I feel restless. Zuko squints skeptically, "We don't need you to fall apart too."

I snort. I can't fall apart, not when I feel like tearing someone else apart. Raising an eyebrow, I say, "You know I am mad at you, right?"

"And here I was starting to worry." Zuko mutters.

Fighting a smirk, I remind him, "I once threatened to kill you, remember?"

Zuko has the audacity to smile, "I thought I was going to have a heart attack if I'm honest."

"Watching Azula so close to Aang, threatening him . . . Made me remember that day and how much I mean it." I tell him seriously. His smile disappears.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, he holds my gaze as he apologizes, "I'm sorry."

For what?" I'm surprised by the calm in my voice, "What are you apologizing for exactly?"

He stays quiet for so long I wonder if he will answer. The air between us is serene, both of us too tired to fight against the atmosphere that hardly reflects our own emotions. Or so I thought.

With ease that torments me, he breathes into the world, "For always causing your love pain."

My heart's beat skips, stops, and shatters suddenly and unexpectedly. In the quiet morning, I turn my body abruptly to face him. His eyes are on mine with so much remorse, yet I cannot acknowledge it.

I'm unable to catch my breath and so my voice comes out as a hiss, pained and sharp, "How dare you?"

His eyes widen and he takes a step back. I'm shocked by the moisture that rapidly fills my eyes. Words spill from my lips quickly, without a second thought, in a moment of honesty that I am unable to control, "You can't do that to me, Zuko. Not now, not when things are so—so painful! The war is over and everything should be okay! But it's not! It's not and I don't know how to deal with that! And I know! I know that none of this is your fault but I can't help being angry. You know that Azula is a psycho. You know that! And still, you made that stupid suggestion. I know you mean well, but look at us now . . . "

I exhale loudly. My words hang in the air, "I know it was unavoidable."

Aang would have eventually told us the truth if he hadn't already. I just wish it had been in his own time. Without the pressure of the world expecting a savior. On his own terms, when he was ready to speak. I wish that he hadn't felt corned. I wish that I hadn't been so harsh, so forceful. I wish he had been able to talk to me before, that I could be someone he knew loved him with all of his flaws. I wish I had been someone that stood by his side, that he hadn't felt so alone. I wish he knew how painful it is to see him in pain. I wish that even though I can't name my feelings for him, it's not a lack of love. It's fear to change our relationship, it's confusion as to whether what I feel is comfort or attraction. I no longer know if I am truly confused or if I've fooled myself into thinking I am.

"Zuko." I whisper, "Whatever I feel, is for me to feel."

His golden eyes watch me curiously and then he nods. He turns to see the awakening turtle-ducks that shake their wings and eye me grumpily. He snorts in undisguised disbelief, "Even now, I only make you angry."

Surprisingly, that draws a sincere smile on my lips. Somewhat sheepishly, I say, "Thanks, Zuko."

"For?" He raises an eyebrow, his face completely flabbergast.

I shrug and lean in for a hug. His arms stay limp at his side, confusion marking his body language as I pulled away with a squeeze of his shoulders. Even if it's not much, even if it's not heard by the person I want to listen, and even if it isn't quite a declaration; I tell him in a voice so quiet I'm shocked he hears it but I know he does because his eyes soften with deep sympathy, "For looking out for me and . . . For my love."

My cheeks burn and I'm mortified to see his do too. Awkwardly, we watch the turtle-ducks.

"Dang Sugar Queen, isn't it a little too early for another life changing field trip."

I jump, "Spirits, Toph! A little warning."

Under her breath, she smirks, "Tell your dad that."

From the other side of the courtyard, my dad stands crossed armed. A pensive look covers his face and in my excitement I skim past it, "Dad! I'm so happy to see you!"

He grunts softly as I crash into him. I squeeze a little harder than strictly necessary. His hand rubs my back soothing. In the comfort of his arms, I fight the urge to release the moisture in my eyes.

Crazy how time flies huh? Uh, is anyone still here? I'm sorry :(

Quote of the chapter:

You can't always guess the picture with an incomplete puzzle.

- Pyrenees