"You lost me a lot of money last night, Pan-xiushi."
The Madam drummed her fingers on the table, glaring at Pan Wukun. "If you jeopardize my business like this again, I'll have to let you go."
"I apologize. It shall not happen again. Here is your compensation." Pan Wukun placed a bag of money on the table. It was some of the money she earned from doing cultivation jobs for the nobility.
The Madam paused, then pushed the money bag back to Pan Wukun.
Pan Wukun's face remained impassive, hiding her disgust. "Is that not enough?"
The Madam blew a puff of smoke from her pipe.
"...I must thank you, Pan-xiushi."
The Madam turned her head, staring intently into Pan Wukun's eyes. "We all needed to hear that."
She sighed. "I've been here for so long, taking money bag after money bag, that I'd forgotten that we were supposed to care for each other. That I was supposed to care for them."
She smiled. "The women in your village raised you well."
Pan Wukun smiled back. "Should I return to my home village, I'll be sure to give them your compliments."
The Madam laughed. "Our meeting here is done. You may return to your room."
The coast was clear.
Meng Yao crept out of the window.
He took a quick glance back.
Meng Shi was peacefully asleep.
He gently closed the window shutter.
The brothel had long closed its doors for the night. So it was only the guards who ventured outside their rooms and patrolled the brothel's chambers.
Familiar with the guards' routes, Meng Yao took care to avoid crossing their paths, not making a single sound.
Even without a lantern, he knew his home city well.
He managed to make it to Yunping's city gates. - Good. His plan was proceeding well so fa-
"Out for a midnight stroll?"
Meng Yao whirled around.
"Pan-shifu…"
Pan Wukun leaned against a wall with her arms crossed.
Meng Yao put on an amiable smile. "Close, but not exactly. I'm going out to camp." He gestured to the traveling gear and pack he carried. "I wanted to take some time alone to myself. You know how overprotective my mother could be. I need to take in some fresh air for peace of mind. It'll also be good to meditate and practice survival skills for my cultivation training."
Pan Wukun did not ease up at all. "Oh really?" She pointed a finger at a specific spot within Meng Yao's coat. "What exactly do you plan on using that knife for then?"
"Hunting of course," Meng Yao answered easily. "I should get moving before it gets any darker. Please excuse me, Pan-shifu."
Meng Yao walked forward.
Just then, it was no longer the road in Meng Yao's sight, but Pan Wukun's stern glare. He jumped back in surprise.
"Meng Yao, I know you're not telling me the truth. What are you really up to?"
"Pan-shifu. Please kindly move aside," Meng Yao growled.
Pan Wukun stood firm. "No."
"You leave me no choice then!" Meng Yao lunged at Pan Wukun with the knife.
Pan Wukun quickly sidestepped out of the knife's way, grabbing hold of Meng Yao's wrist.
Pan Wukun twisted Meng Yao's wrist, forcing him to drop the knife on the ground.
Meng Yao screamed in frustration. "Let go! Let me go! If you keep getting in my way, I'll kill you!"
Pan Wukun flinched, but she didn't let go.
Meng Yao glared at Pan Wukun with utter rage. "I'm going back to Golden Carp Tower. And you can't stop me! I'll force Jin Guangshan to help my mother. Even if I must put a knife to his throat!"
"Golden Carp Tower is surrounded by guards. All of whom have golden cores and could take you out instantly," Pan Wukun pointed out.
Meng Yao frowned. "Hmph. Yes…Jin Guangshan is too difficult to reach. Then…Jin Zixuan! He must be out on a night hunt somewhere. I'll take him hostage!"
Pan Wukun shook her head. "Again. No golden core. Trying to attack either Jin Guangshan or Jin Zixuan is just going to get you killed."
"Tch! But there has to be something I can do for my mother! There has to be some kind of treatment for her illness! I'll look for a cure myself if I have to!" Meng Yao said.
Pan Wukun still didn't move.
Meng Yao scowled at her then turned his head away. He relaxed his hand.
With Meng Yao making no further movements, Pan Wukun released his wrist.
Immediately, Meng Yao turned and pounded his fists on Pan Wukun's chest. "Why? Why won't you help me?! Why won't you help my mother?!"
Pan Wukun did not fight back, taking all of Meng Yao's hits.
Meng Yao grabbed Pan Wukun's collar, bringing her face mere inches from his. "Why?" he snarled.
Pan Wukun's face stayed calm and emotionless. "…Meng Yao. This won't help your mother."
Meng Yao's face fell. He released Pan Wukun and sank to the ground on his knees. Even he knew that what he was planning was foolish.
But love and desperation often drove people into such foolishness.
"...What am I supposed to do then? What kind of son would I be if I didn't help my mother? I'm supposed to take care of her in her old age, not outlive her!" Meng Yao's voice shook. "I don't want my mother to die! I don't want her to leave me alone!"
Meng Yao pounded the ground with his fists, making dirt fly onto his clothes.
Why? Why did he have to be so damn weak?
Why couldn't he have been born into the Jin clan? Then he'd have all the power in the world to give his mother happiness. To cure her of all illnesses. To ensure she never had to be abused at the hands of others ever again.
But fate was cruel…
Meng Yao's hands lay still on the ground, but his fists remained tightly clenched. He let out heavy pants, at a loss for breath.
Pan Wukun's boots came into view.
Meng Yao looked up.
"…You won't be alone," Pan Wukun offered a hand out to Meng Yao.
Meng Yao didn't take her hand just yet. - What? Not alone? Just what did Pan-shifu mean by that?
Pan Wukun kept her hand out and open, waiting patiently.
Meng Yao looked into Pan Wukun's eyes.
No trickery there. Just…exhaustion? Resignation? Pity? Whatever emotions were displayed in Pan-shifu's eyes, they held no intent to harm.
Meng Yao grabbed Pan Wukun's hand and she pulled him up.
Before Meng Yao could ask what Pan Wukun meant, she turned back towards Yunping. "Come. Let us return to the brothel before your mother realizes you're missing and sends out a search party and gives me an earful with a good walloping."
Meng Yao snorted. Yes, his mother certainly would have.
The two returned to the brothel, no one realizing that they had ever left.
Pan Wukun left Meng Yao alone to return to his shared bedroom with Meng Shi.
Meng Yao stood at the doorway, gazing upon Meng Shi.
His slumbering mother's face was so peaceful. It was as if she wasn't terribly sick at all.
Yet there wasn't a thing he could do to relieve his mother's suffering.
Meng Yao's hand tightened into a fist on the side of the doorframe.
Helplessness. He loathed it.
"A-Yao…" Meng Shi shifted around in her bed. But she slept on.
Right now though, his mother is still here…
Meng Yao crept onto the bed and snuggled into Meng Shi, carefully fitting himself as close to her as possible without waking her up.
His forehead pressed against Meng Shi's shoulder. His eyes began to droop.
Such warmth…
"A-Yao ~ ."
Meng Yao opened his eyes to see Meng Shi gazing at him fondly.
Meng Shi giggled. "You haven't slept in the same bed as me since you were a tiny toddler, A-Yao."
Meng Yao smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Mother. I couldn't sleep last night."
Meng Shi's expression turned concerned. "Why? Is Pan-xiushi pushing you too hard in your training?"
"No. It just happened to be one of those sleepless nights for me," Meng Yao's eyes shifted away from Meng Shi's. After a moment, he faced her again. "...I just really wanted to stay close to your side, Mother."
Meng Shi's heart warmed and she wrapped her arms around Meng Yao. "A-Yao..."
Meng Yao embraced her back. "Mother…"
Mother and son kept hold of one another, cherishing their precious moment of love...
– A series of letters all dated over the span of several past months, marked "urgent". –
Pan Wukun: "Meng-guniang has these symptoms. Coughing. Chest pain. Weakness in the limbs. What do you think the diagnosis is, A-ge?"
Pan Heng: "There is no known treatment for the illness you described. Even those of the Five Great Cultivation Sects have lost loved ones to it. Some ailments are beyond the capabilities of cultivators to cure. I'm sorry."
Pan Wukun: "There's really nothing we can do? No dangerous ingredient or artifact I need to go retrieve? No miracle cure? Nothing?"
Pan Heng: "No. I'm sorry…
It's normal for a cultivator to encounter death.
But this? This is a tragedy difficult to bear when it is with someone you know.
Do you need me to come to Yunping by transportation talisman?"
Pan Wukun: "No. I can manage on my own. I still remember the cultivation methods you taught me to ease the pain of a person who's about to pass away. When the time comes, I'll be ready."
Pan Heng: "Very well."
Pan Heng: "I warned you to stay away from Wei Wuxian. Turns out it should've been Jin Guangyao we watched out for…"
Pan Wukun: "It was either become Meng Yao's cultivation teacher or become one of his future murder victims, A-ge."
Pan Wukun: "But lately I've been feeling unsure of myself. Was directly involving myself in Meng Shi and Meng Yao's lives the best course of action? I don't know if I made the right choices, A-ge. Am I just taking on more than I can handle? Am I interfering with the course of events that I shouldn't have? Is everything I'm doing actually for the worse? What exactly am I even here for?"
Pan Wukun: "All I know is that I couldn't just leave Meng Shi and Meng Yao to fend for themselves. It just didn't feel right. But I wonder if I just let my emotions get the best of me when I should've just left when I had the chance…"
Pan Heng: "You've made your choice. And you will continue to make many more. You helped a mother and her son in their time of need. You refused to abandon your principles. I'm proud of you."
The letters crumbled and charred black in the crackling flames.
Can't risk anyone stumbling upon any mention of the Mo Dao Zu Shi characters.
But Pan Wukun tightly held onto a single scrap of paper.
The one spotted with dried tearstains.
Her older brother was proud of her…
"I first arrived at this brothel eighteen years ago."
Meng Shi and Pan Wukun sat at a small tea table, away from prying eyes and ears.
"My father was exposed for his crimes of embezzling money from his domain's people. The authorities caught wind of his deeds and they swiftly seized and executed him…" For a moment, sadness overcame Meng Shi's face. "Mother and I never knew he did such a horrible and corrupt thing. He was always so loving. I never thought that he actually resorted to such a deed. I know he loved us to the end. And I still care for him as well, but…" She sighed.
"Not long after, my mother succumbed to a winter illness…She was kind-hearted and had a love for books. For a blooming effervescent flower to wilt so soon…I miss her…
Having nowhere else to go and no one to turn to, I was forced to take refuge at the Yunping brothel." Meng Shi smiled wistfully. "At least here, I am still Meng Shi the Magnolia Blossom."
"Three years afterward, Jin Guangshan-" Meng Shi and Pan Wukun simultaneously made expressions of disgust, "-showed up at the brothel. He'd heard about me and requested a night with me. Around a year after his arrival, Meng Yao was born."
Meng Shi drank some tea, soothing her dry throat.
Pan Wukun poured more tea into Meng Shi's cup. Meng Shi sent her a small smile.
Meng Shi's face turned solemn. "I have no one left but Meng Yao." Her reflection in the tea water stared back at her mournfully. "Whatever is left of the noble Meng family...it is all but dust now."
Meng Shi turned her head back up. "Pan-xiushi, you mustn't allow Meng Yao to lose his way. A young boy like Meng Yao…he must live life on his own terms."
Pan Wukun met Meng Shi's intent gaze.
Meng Shi…She really was counting on Pan Wukun as their last hope.
Pan Wukun gave a firm nod, to which Meng Shi responded with a relieved smile.
"Meng-guniang…" Pan Wukun's voice was pensive. "...What about what you want to do? What must you absolutely have in this life to know peace?"
Meng Shi's eyes widened, surprised that Pan Wukun even asked her such a question. "Ah...what I want?..."
Meng Shi sat deep in thought.
Suddenly, Meng Shi rose from her seat and moved to her drawer, opening a compartment. She removed a small box.
Inside the box lay an ornate and elegant hairpin. She gently held the hairpin with care. "...I've always wanted to visit my home, the estate where the magnolia trees blossom. They are supposed to be in full bloom this season."
"It's in a city not too far from Yunping." The jewels in Meng Shi's hairpin glittered in the light as she touched them tenderly. "It has been a long while since I set foot there." She sighed and placed the hairpin back into the box. "But I won't impose such a task upon you, Pan-xiushi. You've already done so much."
Pan Wukun quickly stood up from her chair. "It's no trouble to me at all, Meng-guniang! I shall make preparations for travel at once!"
Meng Shi gasped. "But-"
Pan Wukun shook her head. "No buts. I will gladly escort you to your hometown."
Meng Shi turned her head away from Pan Wukun, hiding the tears that welled up in her eyes. She discreetly wiped her eyes and then sent Pan Wukun a warm smile. "Then I will have to repay your kindness. I want to treat you to a meal, Pan-xiushi. You, Meng Yao, and the others. We'll have a grand feast!"
Pan Wukun waved her hands in protest. "No! Please! That won't be necessary!"
"I insist, Pan-xiushi." Meng Shi smiled slyly. "Or are you so rude as to deny a generous dinner offered by this fair maiden?"
Any further words of protest died in Pan Wukun's throat. She sighed in defeat. "If that is what Meng-guniang wishes."
Meng Shi raised her robe's sleeve to her mouth and giggled. "We shall look forward to it then."
"Mother. This is where you grew up?"
Meng Shi, gazing solemnly upon her former home, squeezed Meng Yao's shoulder. "Yes, A-Yao."
The Meng estate had long since been abandoned.
After the unfortunate downfall of the head of the Meng family, no other family dared to purchase the estate, lavish as it once was.
Bad luck. None wanted to meet the same fate as the once-prosperous Meng family.
The magnolia blossom trees bloomed with petals colored in various shades of white, pink, and purple. A clear contrast to the surrounding decrepit buildings.
"I shall be at the market. If you need anything, you know to signal me with the talismans I gave you." Pan Wukun walked off, leaving the two alone.
Meng Shi breathed, taking in the aroma of the magnolia blossoms.
Meng Yao squeezed Meng Shi's hand. "Mother. How are you feeling?"
Meng Shi squeezed Meng Yao's hand back. "Just fine, A-Yao."
Meng Shi kept her gaze on the entrance doors into the estate, not taking any steps forward.
Her parents used to pass through those doors.
Her father returning from an important meeting to lift her in his arms as she ran out to greet him.
Her mother returning from the market with fresh buns and candies to treat her.
She and her parents returning from a peaceful walk observing the beauty of the magnolia blossom trees…
Meng Yao tugged on Meng Shi's hand, bringing her back to the present. "Mother. Won't you please show me around? I want to see what your old room looks like!"
Meng Shi laughed. "Oh, all right, A-Yao! I shall give you the grand tour then!"
Meng Shi led Meng Yao around the estate, pulling him by the hand and excitedly pointing out spots from her childhood.
"This was one of my favorite trees to climb on!"
"This was where I accidentally broke my mother's favorite vase! I received quite the scolding that day!"
"Do not be fooled by how dusty my bedroom is right now! It was quite the beauty back then!"
Meng Yao looked up at his mother with a soft smile. He had never seen her so carefree. He would cherish this memory of her unbridled joy forever.
Back outside, Meng Yao tugged on Meng Shi's hand and pointed at the magnolia trees. "We should bring some magnolia blossoms back to Yunping. It'll add some cheer to our room." Their room didn't have a single plant. A vase of magnolia blossoms would help bring some life to their bedroom and his mother, he hoped.
A wide smile appeared on Meng Shi's face. "Good idea, A-Yao! Ah! My son is so smart!"
Meng Yao's cheeks flushed.
Meng Shi and Meng Yao grabbed a vase from Meng Shi's old room and plucked the magnolia blossoms from some of the tree branches.
Once the vase was completely filled, Meng Shi and Meng Yao looked upon their work with pride.
Meng Yao picked up the vase of magnolia blossoms and offered it to Meng Shi. "For you, Mother."
Meng Shi giggled. "What a gentleman." She leaned down and kissed Meng Yao on the cheek.
For mother and son, it was a day of pure happiness.
"..."
"..."
"...Pan-xiushi?"
Everyone's eyes were fixated on Pan Wukun, who stood awkwardly to the side.
The prostitutes wondered what exactly Pan Wukun was doing here. The cultivator had never eaten with them before.
…Wait. Was it really a coincidence that the day Meng Shi offered to treat everyone to dinner was when Pan Wukun chose to dine with them for the first time?
Pan Wukun cleared her throat. "I would like a serving of dinner, please."
A servant shook out of her stunned state and hurried to retrieve food for Pan Wukun.
Pan Wukun took a seat and shoved a spoonful of food into her mouth.
There was nothing but the loud clatter of Pan Wukun's eating utensils.
Wanting to get rid of the awkward atmosphere, the others at the dinner table followed suit.
One of the younger prostitutes, Lin Xiu, kept glancing from her food to Pan Wukun. Finally, she gathered the courage to ask, "So…Pan-xiushi. How exactly did you become a cultivator?"
The other prostitutes turned to Lin Xiu with tight lips and reprimanding eyes.
You didn't just casually ask a cultivator for their personal origin story!
Lin Xiu shrunk and wilted in her seat. - Ah! She could never keep her curious mouth shut!
Luckily for Lin Xiu, Pan Wukun didn't mind.
"The rogue cultivator in my home village took me in and taught me everything he knew. Not long after I turned fifteen, I left. That was more than half a year ago."
Pan Wukun said nothing more and continued eating.
Well, that was the shortest story the prostitutes ever heard. But they knew better than to bring that up to Pan Wukun. Cultivators had their secrets after all.
Or perhaps Pan Wukun was just a terrible storyteller?… No! No! The cultivator must be acting mysterious on purpose!
The prostitutes murmured amongst themselves.
"Wait. More than half a year ago…?"
"Then that means…"
Everyone came to the same conclusion.
"Pan-xiushi, you're only a teenager?!"
Meng Yao stopped chewing instantly. He set his chopsticks down. He glanced back and forth from Pan Wukun to the dining table again. - To think his cultivation teacher was barely a year older than him this entire time!
Anxin opened her fan, partially covering her face and refusing to look anyone in the eye. She couldn't believe she actually tried to seduce a teenager! How disgusting and embarrassing.
Sisi's mouth opened and closed repeatedly. The piece of duck she held in her chopsticks dropped back down into her bowl.
Meng Shi stared at Pan Wukun incredulously. Was her son's cultivation teacher really so close to him in age? A wave of excitement came over her. Did this mean Pan-xiushi and Meng Yao could possibly be friends? Meng Yao did not have any friends near his age!
The other prostitutes were just as bewildered at this new revelation.
Surely, Pan Wukun looked young because of his cultivation skill. Not because he was an actual teenager?!
Pan Wukun was short, yes. But the young cultivator carried himself with such a mature disposition! Certainly, not the air of a teenage youth!
It would've been rude to make remarks on Pan Wukun's boyish appearance and short height. So no one said a thing.
Most importantly, what was such a young teenager doing traveling alone by himself?!
Pan Wukun laughed nervously and sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "Ah. Everyone's so shocked at my young age. How interesting."
Pan Wukun was an adult in mind, but she was still physically a teenager. All this time, people mistakenly thought she was older, which was understandable. No one had ever asked for her age so she didn't really think about it.
"Pan-xiushi!" Meng Shi cried. "You're such a responsible young man! Looking after Meng Yao and everyone's well-being! It's time I properly thanked you!"
Sisi snapped out of her stupor. "Meng Shi's right!" She raised her cup in the air. "A toast! To Pan Wukun!"
"Thank you, Pan Wukun!" Everyone cheered as they clinked their cups together.
Pan Wukun's cheeks flushed. "You-you are all too kind." She couldn't help the soft smile that appeared on her face. "Thank you."
With the dining room full of festivity, conversations flowed easily.
Meng Shi piled more and more food into Pan Wukun's bowl. "You must eat more, Pan-xiushi! A growing boy like you needs to stay well fed!" She turned and did the same for Meng Yao. "You too, A-Yao!"
Meng Yao inwardly sighed. His stomach was going to be close to bursting tonight. But his mother's happiness was worth it.
One of the prostitutes poured more fruit juice into Pan Wukun's cup. "That asshole the other day was so rude and difficult, grabbing onto me so violently. Good thing you decked him in the face, Pan-xiushi. I had a good laugh!"
"It was an honor." Pan Wukun smiled, taking a drink and shoving a piece of juicy pork into her mouth.
It had been a while since she had such a heartwarming meal…
"Sisi! What brings you to my room tonight?"
Sisi leaned on the doorframe, sending Meng Shi a cheery wave and smile. "I have some free time on my hands. I want to spend the night with you, Meng Shi."
As Meng Shi went to prepare some tea, Sisi moved to help her brew the tea and set up a small tea table and chairs.
Taking a seat, Sisi stretched on her chair languidly. "So how was your trip revisiting your hometown?"
"Quite fun! We enjoyed the local delicacies at the market and took a peaceful walk around the Meng estate. A-Yao, the gentleman that he is, kindly helped me pick some magnolia blossoms to keep here." Meng Shi gestured to the vase of magnolia blossoms on her nightstand.
"Mind if I take a look?" Sisi asked.
"Not at all!" Meng Shi said.
Sisi walked up to the vase of magnolia blossoms, breathing in their aroma. "Wow! Smells great!"
"Sisi! You said you were only going to take a look!" Meng Shi scolded jokingly.
Sisi only breathed in the flowers' aroma harder. "Meng Shi! I can't help that the scent of these flowers is so intoxicating!"
Meng Shi and Sisi laughed.
Further into the night, after Meng Shi and Sisi had several casual conversations about mundane topics, Meng Shi's smile faltered.
Sisi noticed Meng Shi's change in demeanor. "Meng Shi, you ok?"
"Sisi, do you remember the first day I came here?" Meng Shi asked.
"Yeah. How long ago was it?" Sisi tilted her head and rubbed her chin in thought. "Hmm...Around eighteen years ago?"
Meng Shi nodded. "The Madam wasted no time putting me to work, having me debut mere hours after I finished unpacking my belongings. She reasoned that my noble upbringing meant that I was already familiar with making myself pleasant and presentable. My popularity soared in a single night. The others weren't too happy about that." She rubbed her hands. "How did you feel about me, Sisi?"
"Well…I was actually a bit bitter that you outshone me for a while." Sisi's grin showed Meng Shi that she was just joking.
Meng Shi chuckled and continued. "That night, the others locked me out of the brothel, leaving me in the rain. I thought I was going to catch a cold from getting so drenched. But Sisi, you came out and stood outside with me under a parasol."
Sisi frowned. "The others threatened not to let me inside again if I chose to stay with you." She smacked the table lightly, so as not to startle Meng Shi. "But to hell with that! I wouldn't allow a fellow brothel sister to get ill from the rain."
Meng Shi smiled. "When I was harassed and spat on, you rushed to my aid and stood by my side. When no one wanted to speak to me, you had tea with me. Because of you, I did not feel so alone here. Sisi, thank you for everything."
Meng Shi took Sisi's hands in hers. "I am glad to have met you, Sisi."
Sisi fought to hold back the tears brimming in her eyes. "I too am happy to have known you, Meng Shi."
Meng Shi and Sisi tightly embraced each other.
Sisi pulled away from Meng Shi, barely holding in her sniffles. "I'm not gonna keep you awake by running my mouth off any longer. Good night and rest well, Meng Shi."
Meng Shi nodded and arranged her bedsheets. "The same to you, Sisi."
Once Sisi returned to her room, she was finally able to release all her tears.
Sisi's back slid down against the door as she crumbled to the ground.
Sisi placed a hand to her mouth, choking back sobs. "Poor, poor Meng Shi…"
Meng Shi was growing weaker by the day.
When Meng Yao took Meng Shi out for a walk, she collapsed to the ground, unable to stand up on her own.
Meng Yao quickly helped Meng Shi into their bedroom, making some herbal tea and gently patting her face with a cool damp cloth. "Are you all right, Mother?"
Meng Shi sighed. "I'm fine, Meng Yao." The exhaustion in her voice was clear and her expression was absolutely destitute.
Meng Yao bit his lip, troubled. - What to do? What to do?
Meng Yao's eyes settled on the bookcase in the corner of the bedroom. He walked over to it, picking out a single book.
Meng Yao brought the book over to Meng Shi and rested his head on her lap. "Mother. Please read me a story."
"Aiya! A-Yao! You are not a little boy anymore!" A slight smile came over Meng Shi's face.
"Please…" Meng Yao showed Meng Shi his most effective pleading face.
Meng Shi gasped. "Oh! How dare you use my weakness against me!" Her son's dimples were irresistible!
Meng Shi opened the book. "A long, long time ago, there lived a fox in a den…"
A woman's visage appeared in Meng Shi's mind.
–
A tiny Meng Shi babbled as the woman guided Meng Shi's finger along the words in the storybook.
–
Meng Yao noticed Meng Shi's pause. "Mother?"
Meng Shi closed her eyes and traced a finger over the book page with a fond smile. "Just recalling how your grandmother used to read to me, that's all, A-Yao."
Meng Yao smiled as well. Meng Shi had talked about his grandparents while they visited the Meng estate. Seeing his mother chatter happily as she shared their family history gave him joy. It strengthened his bond with his mother.
Meng Yao continued listening to his mother's soothing voice. He hoped reading helped his mother get her mind off the pain.
Cozying themselves with books in bed, Meng Shi and Meng Yao were at peace.
However little time they had left…
"I'm feeling quite tired, A-Yao."
Meng Shi nestled into her pillows and blankets as Meng Yao adjusted them for her.
"Here, have some tea, Mother." Meng Yao handed Meng Shi some freshly brewed tea.
Meng Shi sipped her tea, tasting a hint of magnolia bark and magnolia flowers. "Magnolia tea?"
"Yes, Mother. While we were at our family estate, I stuffed some magnolia blossoms into my pockets while we were gathering some for the vase. Meanwhile, Pan-shifu cut some tree bark. I've read that they have useful health benefits[1]."
"Ah. A-Yao, you're always so thoughtful…" Meng Shi's eyes started drooping.
Meng Yao held Meng Shi's hand. "It's all right, Mother. You should rest now."
Meng Shi placed a hand on Meng Yao's cheek. "Good…"
Her hand slowly slipped off.
Her eyes grew heavy.
"...Boy…"
In front of Meng Shi was a magnolia tree of utmost beauty.
She sat down and rested against the tree.
One of the tree's flowers landed in the palm of her hand.
Meng Shi smiled.
Such a beautiful flower.
Such a bright, clear blue sky.
Such warmth.
Her chest did not hurt anymore.
A-Yao…
–
She laughed, spinning a little boy around in the air.
The little boy squealed, reaching his small pudgy hands out to her. "Mama!"
Slowly, her eyelids grew heavy.
"A-Shi!" In the distance, some people seemed to call out to her.
Oh. Were her mother and father visiting her and Meng Yao?
How nice…
Meng Shi closed her eyes, falling into a peaceful slumber.
Meng Shi's hand went slack.
Meng Yao squeezed Meng Shi's hand. "Mother?"
Meng Shi did not respond.
"Mother?! Mother?!" Meng Yao's voice grew hysterical. He shook Meng Shi's arm, desperately willing her to open her eyes.
Pan Wukun burst into the bedroom. "Meng Yao! I need to check your mother's condition! Please stand aside!"
Meng Yao did as he was told. "A-all right. Please help her!"
Pan Wukun closely inspected Meng Shi.
Pan Wukun placed her finger under Meng Shi's nostrils.
No air.
She checked Meng Shi's pulse.
No heartbeat.
Pan Wukun shook her head. "Meng Yao. I'm so sorry."
Meng Yao laid his head on the bed, tightly holding Meng Shi's hand with his.
Cold. So cold. Where was the warmth? - No! No!
He let out a loud cry of sorrow.
"MOTHER!"
On the day of burial, Meng Shi was laid to rest under a magnolia tree.
Sisi sobbed into a handkerchief. The rest of the brothel residents stood by, also deep in mourning.
Pan Wukun silently stood to the side. She didn't shed any tears, but her expression was quite solemn.
Meng Yao stood in front of Meng Shi's grave, remaining silent with his lips set in a tight line.
—
Life was fragile.
Life was fleeting.
Farewell, Magnolia Blossom.
Mẹ was gone.
A fourteen-year-old Thanh and her father stood outside the hospital room.
Thanh's father placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Thanh. No matter what, you must remain strong. Understand?"
Those were the words he said even though he couldn't stop crying in front of her, even now. His watery eyes rimmed red.
Thanh nodded.
"Yes, Bố[2]. Don't worry, I'll be strong for you and Mẹ[3]."
Thanh quietly cried to herself in her bedroom later that night.
"Why are you still here?"
Meng Yao narrowed his eyes at Pan Wukun.
"I have no money and no connections. Especially after what happened at Golden Carp Tower…" Meng Yao went quiet. "So why?"
Pan Wukun glanced at Meng Shi's grave. "I made a promise to your mother that I would continue teaching you…"
Meng Yao gently brushed a hand over Meng Shi's gravestone. "Ah. So that's why…"
Pan Wukun continued. "But in the end, it is still your decision to make. Do you wish to accompany me on my travels? Or do you wish to go your own way? Stay at the brothel or seek entry into a cultivation sect?"
Meng Yao stood quietly in thought.
Pan Wukun braced herself. Either he would stay with her so she can respect one of Meng Shi's last wishes. Or she was going to drop him off at the nearest cultivation sect.
Whatever happened next was probably going to change the course of things forever.
For better or worse.
Finally, Meng Yao said, "I wish to travel with you, Pan-shifu."
Pan Wukun nodded. "I see…But how come you're sticking with me? Wouldn't you be better off with YunmengJiang sect? It's the closest sect to Yunping. There is stability to be had as part of a sect." She rubbed the scar on her arm. "The life of a rogue cultivator is no easy one."
Meng Yao gave Pan Wukun a sardonic smile. "They wouldn't accept me. Madam Yu and Madam Jin are sworn sisters. If YunmengJiang sect was to take in one of Jin Guangshan's illegitimate children…"
Pan Wukun understood. - Madam Yu would never accept another street orphan, a son of a prostitute no less, into YunmengJiang sect's ranks after Wei Wuxian. Especially one of Jin Guangshan's illegitimate children. That would've been a severe betrayal to her sworn sister, Madam Jin.
"I have no desire to be a member of YunmengJiang sect anyway. I want to stay with you, Pan-shifu," Meng Yao said firmly.
Pan Wukun tilted her head up to the sky, shutting her eyes and letting out a deep sigh.
"…Pan-shifu?"
"You should get ready to leave and say your goodbyes to everyone." Pan Wukun briskly walked past Meng Yao, saying nothing else.
"You are leaving, xiao-Meng?"
"Yes." Meng Yao adjusted the pack on his shoulder. "I'll be departing from Yunping with Pan-shifu. Do you want to come with us, Sisi?"
Sisi laughed. "As much as traveling with a rogue cultivator sounds fun," she winked, "I'm quite happy here. I don't have any losses with my popularity."
Sisi patted Meng Yao's head with a fond smile. "You look just like her. It's as if Meng Shi is still standing here in front of me." She wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "Your mother lives on in you."
Meng Yao's eyes glistened. He hugged her back. "Thank you, Sisi."
Sisi pulled away from Meng Yao and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Now go out there and show the world what you're made of!"
"Right!" Meng Yao started walking.
Sisi gently pushed Meng Yao forward. "Come on! A walk? No! You gotta go charging in out there! Make a good and powerful start!"
"Right! I will!" With that, Meng Yao ran off.
Sisi looked up at the sky. "Ah. Meng Shi. I hope you've found happiness. You've raised a fine boy. I'm sure you're still watching over him now."
Sisi looked back at Meng Yao, his figure receding in the distance. "Take care, xiao-Meng."
"Mother, it's time for me to go now…"
Meng Yao knelt at Meng Shi's gravestone.
In front of the gravestone lay offerings of Meng Shi's favorite dishes and sticks of incense planted into the soil[4].
Pan Wukun walked up to Meng Yao. "Meng Yao, I also want to pay my respects to Meng-guniang before we depart."
Meng Yao stepped aside.
Pan Wukun kneeled and pressed her palms together. - Meng-guniang. Truth is, I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't know if what I do will be enough to keep Meng Yao on the right path.
She was just one person. Could she even fight against the tides of fate?
But I will damn try. Even…
Even at the cost of her own life? Could Pan Wukun really hold up to such a grand promise? She still had a home and family and friends to get back to.
But Pan Wukun couldn't bring herself to falter on her promise in front of Meng Shi's resting place.
…Even at the cost of my own life. Rest easy.
There. She'd done it. She couldn't go back on her word now.
As Pan Wukun stood back up, she noticed that Meng Yao seemed to be acting…bashful?
It seemed that way, from how Meng Yao turned to glance at Pan Wukun and then back at the ground again.
"Yes, Meng Yao?" Pan Wukun asked.
Meng Yao looked up at Pan Wukun. "Pan-xiushi, could I rest my head…" His gaze turned to the ground again. "...on your lap?"
Pan Wukun raised an eyebrow.
Meng Yao kept his head down. "Mother used to let me," he said quietly.
Pan Wukun's heart ached. - Kid wasn't quite ready to leave yet, was he?
"Sure, Meng Yao." Pan Wukun sat down under the magnolia tree, patting a spot on her lap. "Go ahead."
Meng Yao rested his head on Pan Wukun's lap. His eyes shut closed and soon, his breathing steadied.
Pan Wukun rested the back of her head against the tree and sighed.
Jin Guangyao.
The villain and main antagonist who destroyed countless lives.
The monster who orchestrated the extermination of entire clans.
The traitor who killed his own sworn brother.
The murderer who killed his own son.
The relentless pursuit of power and prestige. - It cost him his reputation and his life.
For Jin Guangyao, nothing was ever enough.
But for Meng Yao, were things any different?
Pan Wukun looked down at the young boy sleeping peacefully on her lap.
Meng Yao shifted around in his sleep, a soft and content smile appearing on his face. "Mother..."
Pan Wukun looked over at Meng Shi's gravestone. - Meng Shi...She departed from this world too soon. Just like...
Pan Wukun turned her gaze towards the sky.
The clouds drifted across the clear blue sky.
It was unknown where those clouds would end up. But they continued onward anyway. Moving slowly but surely.
Magnolia petals scattered in the breeze.
Life goes on.
Determination surged from within Pan Wukun.
–
Whatever comes my way, I'll just deal with it.
I will stay strong.
Glossary
[1] Magnolia tree: In Chinese culture, the magnolia tree symbolizes purity and nobility. In traditional Chinese medicine, it was known for its healing powers because magnolia bark was used as a sleep aid. Magnolias were thought to be the perfect symbols of womanly beauty and gentleness.
[2] Bố: "Dad" in the Northern Vietnamese dialect.
[3] Mẹ: "Mom" in the Northern Vietnamese dialect.
[4] Ancestor worship: In Chinese and Vietnamese culture, food offerings are left for our ancestors for them to eat in the afterlife. Incense sticks are meant to help with communication with the ancestors. They also help get rid of negative energies and bring forth positive energies.
A/N: Rest in peace, Meng Shi.
Having Meng Shi pass away was such a difficult decision.
I cried so much writing this chapter.
On a brighter note, I came out as bisexual to my dad. There was a bit of tension at first, but he was incredibly accepting and loving of me.
I also got my wisdom teeth removed. Since my wisdom teeth were the difficult kind that didn't grow straight up, I had to undergo oral surgery and anesthesia for the first time. What an experience. Anesthesia really does just knock you out and you don't even realize you fell asleep.