This is a Commission, it is work I do for money and be able to feed myself. I believe this story will have at least a 100k so you can read safely.
Viktoriya trudged through the snow, carrying a wounded Tanya on her back. They were around a hundred kilometers deep into the Russy Federation territory, the bottle of Pervitin Visha took was all that allowed her to walk without resting. Her heart felt as if at any moment it would leave her chest.
"I am sorry. I am sorry." Tanya whimpered into Visha's back, not cognizant of her actual situation. Since she fell from the sky after that crazy Legadonian girl's suicide attack, the only thing she could repeat all the time was a sad and repetitive "I am sorry."
Viktoriya bit her lips as she continued to advance. They had been in this desert of ice and snow for three days, not a moment to rest, not a moment to eat, not a moment to sleep. The only thing Visha had been able to eat was the corpse of that crazy Legadonian girl before starting to advance toward the West.
"Fucking come on!" She screamed as she walked, her feet sinking in the 40 centimeters of snow with every step. Her spirit was all that kept her moving, no matter how bad the situation was, no matter how certain death was. She would save Tanya. She had to save Tanya.
For Weiss, for Grantz, for Neumman, for Koening… for the rest of the 203rd that died saving the Empire.
The sound of a motor startled her out of her stupor as she took her rifle up to confront any possible communists who would want to kill them. For a moment she thought of starting her orb and preparing an artillery shell, but even as her instinct pushed her to do it, her rational self knew that if she did that the Red Army would know exactly where to go to hunt them down and kill them. And this time, there would be no survival.
Visha threw herself to the snow and waited, hearing the motor getting closer, covering herself and Tanya in snow as she waited for the Red Army convoy to pass.
"I am sorry. I am sorry." Tanya murmured, but it was at such a low volume that the Russy convoy didn't hear her.
Viktoriya's heart was going at three beats per second as she shocked upright in bed. The image of snow and ice and Tanya slowly freezing to death leaving her quickly waking brain, she looked around her and saw the house she bought outside of Berun. Beside her, in the same bed, lay Tanya's shuddering form, tears bleeding out as she kept repeating the same words she said while Viktoriya escaped from the enemy territory.
"I am sorry."
—-
Erich von Lehrgen walked through the corridors of the Berun HQ, the relieved faces of everyone present revealing more to him than any words could. The Empire was so near to extinction in the battle of Josefgrad that the 203rd's last-minute intervention felt like a miracle of God itself.
Many would never dare to say it aloud, but if the million men in Josefgrad had been encircled, the Empire would have lost this world war. The sacrifice of the 203rd was seen as something not only heroic but completely necessary and justified seeing the circumstances.
Lehrgen let out a sigh, the idea of watching Degurechaff's face after she warned him of what would happen in Josefgrad if they didn't retreat rising to the forefront of his mind. Her ability of prediction was so scary that he would sometimes ask himself if the General Staff should ask her about what their next move should be.
The door in front of him loomed. One month ago, the 203rd died and Tanya was considered missing-in-action, but her adjutant, Serebryakov, somehow managed to return to Imperial territory carrying her commanding officer on her back. A bottle of Pervitin and her will to survive was all that allowed the Empire to keep one of its most precious assets, but at a cost that many felt invalidated her value as an asset.
Reluctantly pushing the door open, Lehrgen saw Degurechaff drinking coffee while sitting in a wheelchair. Right next to her was Serebryakov, standing and smiling at him the moment he entered.
"Hello, Colonel Degurechaff," he tested, as Degurechaff took a little sip from the coffee before putting it down on a matching saucer with a clink.
"Hello, Colonel Lehrgen. It is nice to see you again," she said, with a smile. Before, in a time when she could walk without problem, that smile scared him deeply, but now that walking had become torture for her, he could see her as what she really was. A child that should have never been in this war, but for many reasons ended up in it. And she now suffered the consequences.
"Colonel Degurechaff…! I am glad to hear that it is nice to see me…"
The small pause took a little bit longer than Lehrgen would have liked. But he felt that he needed to say something else. Thank you for saving the Empire? You were right all this time? I am sorry for what happened to you?
There were more than 5 million words in the German language, but none of them could express how sorry he was to see her in that condition and how sorry he was to not hear her advice. He had wrongly assumed it was just her wanting to murder more communists for the sole purpose of murdering them, and she had paid the price for him.
"...But for me… it is difficult to see you in this condition… If I had heard you and taken into account what you said, you wouldn't be in this situation… for that… I am sorry"
Tanya's mouth quirked into a smile again, but this smile was more sincere, a sad smile. Lehrgen thought it was a smile you would put on when you are in an emotional state of breakdown but you wouldn't want to show how broken you are.
"It is okay, I do not believe that it is your fault. All the general staff failed to see the incoming communist counter-offensive, everyone was blind except me. That's why I don't blame you, so please do not worry. You are a friend and you were just one of the many that failed to see the reality of the situation, so you should not feel any responsibility for my condition. And in the end…I am alive, no? As long as I am alive I will fight for the Empire. I may no longer be able to perform as an aerial mage anymore… but I hope to continue to be useful as a member of the General Staff in Mage matters."
Lehrgen desperately wanted to accept her forgiveness, but he knew that she was wrong. He had actively tried to convince the General Staff that her allegations were untrue and only an argument of her to be able to kill more communists without a tactical or strategic benefit.
In the end it was him who had killed the 203rd, and him who had caused the greatest Imperial hero to become crippled.
"I appreciate your words, but I have come today on different business. There will be a meeting at 17:00. Your presence is not required for the meeting but Zettour and Rudesdorf have insisted that you assist in all meetings from now on. Your new work in the General Staff is something that many see as unnecessary and outrageous, but Zettour and Rudesdorf insist on it."
"You came here just to tell me that there will be a meeting, and to inform me that I am not welcome here?" Degurechaff took another sip of the cup of coffee and slowly laid her back in the wheelchair.
"Thank you for the warning. I really appreciate our friendship. I know you didn't have to come here and warn me, but our friendship is a little bit more than just professionalism."
Lehrgen tried to smile but he couldn't. Just how wrong was her perception of him?
"Yes, I came here to warn you, I hope you do well in your new job… friend"
He made her a cripple, so the least he could do was to help her in the General Staff, where conspiracies and politics sometimes matter more than the military needs of the Empire.
—-
I watched the door closely as it swung shut behind Lehrgen. He was such a nice friend. He has always warned me, has always supported me. I really owe him so much.
The feeling of oppression grew in my heart.
For so long I believed that I was the only one that mattered, that the 203rd were my meat-shields, that my every manipulation of my fellow officers was done just to climb the ladder to a position safe in the rear.
But then, why? Why I cannot escape the suffering of how all my fellow comrades of the 203rd died, why can I not explain the feeling that it was my fault that they died?
I created them to be my meat-shields, but when they died against the fucking Legadonian whore I cried. I fucking tried to kill that whore with all my power but I still failed to, and right when I was closest to killing her she exploded herself, throwing me to the ground and turning me into a fucking cripple that could barely use her legs, if at all.
The humiliation I do to myself, they were never meat-shields. I lied to myself. They were my friends, my comrades, my soldiers. They were the only thing I had in the Empire that mattered to me. And of them, the only survivors were me and Visha.
"Are you crying?" Visha softly asked, taking a step closer.
"No Serebryakov, I am not," I lied, wiping a few loose tears from my face. The silence gained power again in the room and in a vain attempt of trying to relax, I took the cup of coffee and started to drink what was left of the black beverage. It was too cold to be any good now.
"No one else is here, Tanya. You can call me Visha. Just like at home…" Visha tried.
I tried to contain it. Since the death of the 203rd, Visha has been taking care of me, of everything for me. She bought a house for us both, and I didn't have the strength or the will to say no. She ordered the creation of the best possible wheelchair for me. There were a million more things she did. For me. The debt I owed her was only increasing. I was hopeless, wasn't I? A fucking cripple that killed lost almost all of its comrades and now had to live off the charity of the last surviving of them.
Maybe, I gained the rear position I always wanted, but at a price I would have never paid willingly.
"I am sorry, Visha, it is just…"
I couldn't end the phrase and Visha hugged me from behind. Her arms were across my shoulders, down my neck, and her face was in the back of my head.
"Don't worry about a thing, Tanya. I'll always be here for you. Do you want to do something before the meeting?"
"Can we take a walk around the HQ?" I asked, "The air here is vicious with smoke and alcohol."
Visha only nodded.
—-
As Viktoriya pushed Tanya's wheelchair through the main hall of the HQ, there were two reactions from those who saw her. The younger officers in the building saluted her like the hero she was, but most of the old officers saw her as an alien, as someone who only gained their position due to performing the duty that was expected of every imperial officer, regardless of the sacrifice. This contrast was impossible to see for Tanya, but Viktoriya noticed it easily. She always noticed such things around her commanding officer.
When they reached the stairs to get down to the street, the soldiers with them offered to carry the wheelchair down themselves. Tanya nodded and was slowly moved down to the street.
"Field Marshal von Zettour told me yesterday that he was planning on building a special elevator for me. Hopefully that will be a little less humiliating than being carried," Tanya said to Viktoriya, who could only smile lightly in response.
For Tanya, being crippled was humiliating, and Visha understood it.
Pushing the once again occupied wheelchair from behind, Viktoriya found the street they were on to be full of life. There were more women than men, but even with that, the streets of Berun were as alive as they could be.
It was so… frustrating, to see civilian life after so much death and suffering, but it didn't matter so much in comparison to being able to live with Tanya. In the end… all was worth it.
"I am so glad to hear that, Colonel von Degurechaff."
Tanya's smile decayed rapidly. As she heard her title, and the formality it carried with it, she didn't like it. That was new. A mere two months ago she remembered talking to the 203rd about the importance of addressing everyone the correct way; now, after Josefgrad, she didn't want Visha to call her Degurechaff, but Tanya.
"Yes…"
The sad tone Tanya spoke with didn't go unnoticed by Visha, who slowly leaned into Tanya's ear as they continued to walk in the street.
"Do not worry Tanya, we'll have your favorite food tonight!" Visha was perhaps a bit too close to her ear, speaking a bit too softly, but seeing the way Tanya smiled again, unconscious about her own reaction, Visha just nodded.
"Thank you, Visha."
—-
"With the victory in Josefgrad and the unstoppable advance of our armies, we have finally reached the Caspian Sea. The process of cleaning the Don and the Caucasus will begin soon, and we are hoping to take the oil of this area," said Zettour as he gestured to a point on the map. A city, marked as Baku.
"We expect the communists to burn the oil fields in order to avoid allowing us to use them. Our plans account for this; only a miracle would allow us to take these oil fields without them getting damaged. In other order for things…"
Zettour kept talking about the strategic situation. The Kaiser and his sons were here together with the rest of the most important Generals of the army, as well as representatives from the navy, the air force, and a variety of politicians.
Tanya looked as professional as she could. Maybe she was a useless cripple, she thought, but she could still play the role needed for this situation. A patriot, a person that can impart something to the Empire, and most importantly, she can make Zettour's trust in her based on facts.
She might not be the same Tanya as she once was, but she was still a professional, a person who knew how to handle an information session and discuss the strategy of the company, or in this case, the Empire.
"The Empire is still managing well on all fronts," said the Kaiser, analyzing the map in front of him. "But it is still the truth that we are so near a cliff that if at any moment the Russy Federation does a successful counterattack, our entire frontline will collapse, no?"
Everyone looked at him worriedly. Most of the generals rapidly started speaking of how that was impossible and that the Empire would win the war soon, but the members of the Royal Family looked displeased with this reaction.
"Might I give my opinion?" inquired Tanya, speaking into the crowd of the many generals who were trying to convince the Kaiser that everything was going perfectly.
Zettour, Rudesdorf, and Lehrgen looked at Tanya curiously, but simply allowed her to do what she wanted. On the contrary, most of the generals present looked at her as if she just insulted the Royal Family.
"Of course you are free to contribute your opinion, Colonel von Degurechaff. As a hero of the Empire and member of the General Staff, your opinion held in high esteem," answered the heir to the throne, Wilhelm.
"The Empire will lose the war if we do not take into account the needs of this modern war," Tanya stated without hesitating. She had lost the 203rd because of how blinded the General Staff was, she became crippled because of it. She needed to try to at least cure the Royal Family of this blindness.
"What absurdity are you spouting!" One of the Generals began shouting, but the Kaiser and the heir simply silenced the man, waiting with expectation towards what she was about to say. Tanya had no idea if they would take her seriously or not, but she had to try.
"The reality of this war is that our trade with Ildoa, Magna Rumeli, and Ispagna has saved us from starvation. At any moment our commercial relationship could end, and the Empire would suffer starvation that would kill hundreds of thousands. There is a term I heard once, the economy of war. It means that in times of war, to ensure the survival of the nation in both the military and civilian sector, the Government would take care of managing everything. The production of food, the production of war material. Therefore, reducing the production of civilian commodities would be necessary to increase the military production.
"We do not have something like that. We have instead carried the same military capacities since the war started, while our civilian sector only survives due to the trade with Ildoa and Magna Rumeli. If this continues, when the war inevitably changes as it has done so many times, the Empire will suffer the consequences. We need to recruit more men, we need to stop producing civilian commodities that are not necessary, we need to start forcefully producing as much food as our land can handle, and we need to start producing more tanks. Send the woman to the factories, the men to the war. We cannot win this war using an economy that worked while in peace."
She hated the socialists and the communists, a hate that was almost irrational sometimes. Even she, a libertarian, knew that the war couldn't be done with a civilian style of economy, that the war couldn't be won if they did not properly handle all their resources.
"An Economy of War… I've heard that term before, have I not? It was in one of Zettour's essays, I believe." Nodding towards the prince, Zettour begins to speak.
"Yes, Your Highness. I believe you may have heard that term in an essay that I authored, regarding the progression of a world war and how best handle it." Tanya and Zettour both knew that the essay was Tanya's work, but that he had announced it as his at their agreement. Tanya didn't feel anything from her apparent lack of acknowledgement.
One of the generals interceded. "With all due respect, the Russy Federation is collapsing, and the Allied Kingdom has only been 'preparing' since they failed their last invasion four months ago. The Empire doesn't need to take such drastic measures to survive the rest of the war - it is going to end soon!"
"The Russy Federation is collapsing…?" Tanya repeated, with a biting laugh that made everyone shiver. "I wonder then, why the men of the 203rd are dead and I am now in this state…."
With her utterance, the General shut his mouth as an uncomfortable silence settled over the rest of the room.
"Josefgrad only fell because of the 203rd, Moskva is still holding, and the siege of Leningrad is ongoing. It would be foolish to assume that if we somehow take those two cities the Federation will surrender. They will not. They will take the fight to every inch of land they have, and when our men die fighting in the Ural mountains, while the surviving Francois from Africa and the Allied Kingdom invade through Normandy, will we have enough men to stop them? Will we have enough airplanes? What if the giant of the west awakes, the Unified States, and decides they should enter on the Allied Kingdom's side? They are already providing millions of dollars, not only in debt but equipment too, not to mention the volunteers they have been sending to all of our fronts.
"I wonder what will happen when we face the Allied Kingdom and her colonies, with a population of more than two hundred million. What will happen when the communists drag us into a desperate fight to gain even a single meter of land. What will happen when the giant of the west wakes up and sends millions of their soldiers to invade our coasts. We don't have an economy of war. Why are we producing televisions when we could be producing military radios? Why are we producing cars for civilians when not even 20% of our army is motorized and we use horses to move our artillery? Why are we using steel to produce anything for the civilians when we need more tanks? Why are we using aluminum in civilian products when we need it for our Air Force? The Empire will not survive if we don't establish an economy of war!"
Tanya took a deep breath after her tirade. She allowed herself to rest, watching the rest of the room. The generals were suitably impressed, and from the corner of her eye she could see how the Royal Family put on a face of agreement.
"Tomorrow, at the same hour I want a meeting for the installation of an economy of war." The Kaiser was decisive and his will absolute. "Colonel von Degurechaff, your speech is greatly appreciated. While I pray it does not come to it, your arguments are realistic. Zettour!"
"Yes, Your Majesty?"
"I want a report tomorrow about the realities of our military and an assessment of our materiel, including how we would function under an economy of war."
"It will be done, Your Majesty."
Tanya allowed herself to show a small smile. It was going to be hard work, but if she could make everyone become less blind until the day of the Imperial victory, it would all be worth it.
—-
The two women made sure to have time to eat together. Sometimes it seemed that they lived in more of a palace than a house; it was so big that it felt empty with only the presence of Viktoriya and Tanya. Viktoriya bought this home with her family's money, intending to make it the place where she and Tanya would live together, and Tanya couldn't have done anything except just accept it.
"Are you enjoying the food?"
Tanya nodded, the pelmeni, or at least how she pronounced it, was a very tasty food that she enjoyed now that they finally had the time to cook and live peacefully. It was a piece of meat covered by a mass of flour that would be boiled for some minutes. Or as some would call it, a dumpling.
Mixed with black pepper from Magna Rumeli and butter, they were truly delicious, although Tanya wasn't sure if she could cook it as deliciously as Visha did. She also didn't know if it happened as with the coffee. Visha had such a great ability to make things tastier than they usually are.
"Yes, I am," Tanya answered with a smile, taking the glass of wine she started to drink from it. Even she herself wasn't sure if she was being sincere or fake.
"That's so good to hear," Visha replied with a smile of her own. "How did the meeting go?"
Visha couldn't participate in it, so she had to wait outside, but they hadn't had an opportunity to talk about it since the moment Tanya left the meeting room.
"It went well. I think the Royal Family heard me and are taking into account my arguments, which is more than I thought I would achieve"
Visha nodded with approval as she finished the last of the pelmeni on her plate. Pushing her dishes away, she moved around the table to a seat next to Tanya, beginning to slowly pat her hair.
"It's so nice to hear that your work in the rear is going well, but… how do you feel?"
"I am alright!" Tanya said, speaking into the wine glass at her lips.
—-
I saw my comrades from the 203rd. Our mission was to stop the communist breakthrough, and we were doing it, as always. The tanks and the infantry of the communists couldn't defend themselves from the rain of artillery shells that fell from the sky.
My greatest fear of the encirclement of Stalingrad happening here was coming true, but I could stop it from finishing myself. With a smile, I started shooting at the tank formation with my gun in automatic fire.
"Weiss, can you hear me?" I shouted, but receiving no answer I turned around - just in time to spot a colossal laser piercing him. I had only seen a laser like that once before.
"Weiss!" It felt like I tore something in my throat yelling that, making a mad dash towards him, preventing him from falling to his death. "Identify where that Legadonian whore is right fucking now!" I shouted into my comms, and my orders were rapidly followed when the entire 203rd switched from air support mode to interception.
As I finally caught Weiss in my arms, he fell limp.
"Come on Weiss, don't be so dramatic! We've all been pierced a thousand times by now! Don't you feel ashamed that I have to save you from falling?"
It was true, piercing rounds usually were not lethal because they would literally pierce, leaving clean wounds, and the probability of the thin piercing shot hitting an important place was low.
"Weiss, why aren't you answering?" I pleaded, scanning his body with my eyes. I finally saw the blood pooling on his uniform, leaving his body… right where his heart should be…
With a whisper, I could barely say his name.
"Weiss?"
—-
"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry!"
Visha sprung awake to the screams of Tanya. They were in the same bed, her cries so loud that even the heaviest sleeper would have woken up.
"Tanya, it's ok, it's ok," Visha said as she hugged the smaller girl from behind as hard as she could. Throwing the sheets off for better access to her commanding officer, a couple things would stick out. First, they had both apparently been sleeping naked together. Second, the contrast between the two was so big it was almost laughable - Visha's more developed body was a striking comparison to Tanya's much smaller figure, one that had suffered greatly from malnutrition and stress.
They were practically opposites.
"It's okay, Tanya, calm down," Visha softly ordered into Tanya's ears while hugging her and slowly patting her back. Tanya opened her eyes, still crying and shouting "I am sorry!"
"Everything will be fine, we're safe now," whispered Visha, her head tucked so she was speaking directly into Tanya's ear, still patting and hugging her. It took several minutes to calm her down, and when she finally did she noticed that the sheets were wet… she had pissed herself in her nightmare. Again.
Tanya tried to speak, but the words froze in her throat as she struggled to not start crying again. She managed to choke out something containing the words "sorry," "crippled," and "useless," but Visha couldn't make out what she had actually said. As she embraced her commander, Visha enjoyed the sensation of Tanya's naked body, even if the action was supposed to be to calm her down.
"Don't worry, Tanya. You might be crippled, but don't worry, I will take care of you. Forever. So calm down, ok? For me? You don't need to cry."
Visha took Tanya's face with one of her hands and started to clean her tears. Tanya tried with all her might to stop crying, but the sensation was so oppressive that she never could really end their flow.
"I'm going to change the sheets, and then we will shower together, okay?"
Visha brought her face to Tanya's and kissed, her tongue slithering into Tanya's mouth. Tanya relaxed into the kiss and responded timidly. She could taste her own tears on Visha's tongue, something twinging in her as she did. She had never understood girls, and Visha has always assured her that this is normal between girls who are really close. Visha clearly knew more about women than she did, how could she distrust her?
"Yes, of course. I'm sorry for everything," she said when Viktoriya finally pulled away from the kiss, leaving Tanya's lips full of saliva and her open mouth that was begging for a longer kiss.
"It's okay, really. Trust me."
—-
Tanya and Visha lay in the bath, as Visha cleaned Tanya's body with care while Tanya was sitting in her lap. The warm water and the way Visha cleaned her skin and hair finally let her relax.
"You have to forgive yourself for their deaths. You did all you could to save them."
Tanya did not answer, silently enjoying Visha's care. After several minutes, she felt the courage to speak about it.
"You're wrong… it was my fault… I was their leader, the one that had to take care of them… and now all of them are dead."
Visha only nodded to what Tanya said and hugged her in a way that Tanya was even closer to her. Tanya felt Vishas breasts on her back and her chin resting on her head.
"They died because of that whore. That whore that we killed together. We avenged their deaths with her's, and we will avenge them further when the Russy Federation collapses. You know how I had to walk with you through the snow without stopping? At that moment the only thing I was thinking of was saving you. Now you are safe, but wounded physically and mentally."
"Thank you, for saving me… and for doing so much for me… you paid for everything. I just feel like I'm a useless person who can't do anything for herself any more."
Being honest with Visha was something she learned to do after their experience together, at least a little bit. Being sincere about her emotions was something that she didn't want to do, but she couldn't hold it inside.
"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry," she started to repeat, as she entered her looping trauma again. In the meeting of the General Staff, she was a soldier of iron, forged by blood, a person who would fight the world and win, but in this house, she was a girl who was too damaged by the war to function.
Visha moved her hands to Tanya's head, forcing her to look up as she repeated her new mantra, "I am sorry", only to shut her with a kiss. Tanya shut up, but felt guilty. She knew that they were only a thing between close friends but she enjoyed them a lot.
"It's okay. Don't worry about anything. I don't do this because I am forced, I take care of you because I want to. I would never give this place to anyone now that I'm here with you. Please hear me when I say this to you: I will take care of you, forever."
Visha's voice took on an unexpected edge in her last words, as Tanya nodded slowly, eye's glazing over slightly. Everything felt strange during the first weeks here, the things she had taught her. Now everything seemed to go so well between the two. This was the place that was closest to what she could call a home.
Visha closed her eyes, seeing the miserable thing that Tanya had become in privacy, and could only smile to herself inside.
"You will always be mine."
The Visha of the past died when she had to eat human meat to survive, when she traveled a hundred kilometers carrying Tanya on her back, when she took the entire bottle of Pervitin to just keep going.
The new Visha knew what she wanted and what she would do in order to achieve what she wanted. She could have lost Tanya that week, she could have lost her beloved Tanya to that Legadonian whore.
Now, everything was okay, now she lived with her beloved Tanya in this mansion away from any eyes or ears that could ruin anything, away from any influence that could make Tanya realize that the things they did were not normal.
She did everything to save her. It was her right to own her. Wasn't it?
—-
Lehrgen read the report of the medic who took care of Viktoriya and Tanya when they were found.
"In my medical examination, the sub-officer Viktoriya Ivanonka Serebyakov suffered from several head injuries. Due to the lack of any type of noticeable consequences, I will release her from my medical care soon. I strongly recommend that she checks with a psychologist to see if there have been any changes to her memory, cognitive ability, or personality since the injuries. In my days of caring for the two officers, I noticed some troublesome behaviors from the sub-officer. While this could be explained by the trauma received during their disappearance, I believe she could have suffered some mental damage that requires a psychological and medical exam."
Lehrgen squinted his eyes. He always was interested in having a psychological exam on Tanya but never found an excuse. He could use the excuse given in this paper for doing both a psychological exam for her and her assistant. But… he remembered the condition that Tanya was in….
It was his fault that she ended like that, in the end. The trauma of what he believed he had caused was surely enough to change both girls… there was no need to stress them more with psychological exams. Lehrgen folded the paper and placed it into one of the drawers of his desk. If he wanted to start paying her for what damage he did to her. He should start by not giving her more stress.