You thought I was kidding when I said my muse is bullying me
It only took three days to get used to life in Blessed Balms, and Orario as a whole.
Waking up after a harsh night of being a beautiful goddess' personal body pillow and space-heater was never easy, due to the fact that I was regularly put in mortal peril because we both toss and turn in our sleep.
I've woken up in the middle of the night to the unenviable sensation of drowning in mocha-colored tits, and while usually I'd be all for that, I'd rather not deal with the ever-present threat of dying in a fantasy world by being cuddled too freely.
Anubis, could you imagine going out like that? Murdered by my own clingy goddess before ever setting foot in the dungeon?
The thought sent shivers down my spine- along with seething rage at the fact I still haven't taken my first step into the dungeon. But ignoring that thought for now, I continued my unwavering schedule by dragging my goddess out of bed, despite her many sleepy protests.
If there's one thing I'm grateful for, it's that Orario is far more advanced than it first appears, considering the shop's upstairs had a fully-functioning private bathroom with a shower/bath. Because I was not looking forward to dealing with everyone around me smelling like blood, death, and unwashed ass for the rest of my life.
Turning on the shower, I stripped down along with my goddess before squeezing into the tight space together.
Get your mind out of the gutter. Bast is charging us for every facility of hers we use, and before I am horny or even desperate, I am broke. So no, I am not going to give the divine tomcat any excuse to add indecency charges to our rent.
Instead I try my best not to let my dick poke Anubis' thick ass as I wash her messy, untamed hair, before switching (expensive) soaps and going over perfect dark skin. Smooth and with an absurd softness complete unlike the perky jiggle of Bast's tight, strong figure, it was impossible to not get overwhelmingly aroused touching the nude goddess.
But I was a professional penny-pincher, and with how Anubis acts in the morning I don't think she's mentally capable of consenting anyway. Despite the annoyed humphs when she's dragged into the bath, or the pleased hums that fill the air as I let her relax there alongside my washed form.
Though in the bath my guard slackens due to the small japanese-style bath not made for the height of a black man… or anyone taller than Bast, now that I think about it.
Shit, is all of this custom-made? I'd charge us too if I was just using someone's extremely personal bathroom to wash their hikikomori goddess like she was the extra-curvy step-daughter of an extremely niche porno.
Removing myself from my head as a coping mechanism to being so close to a goddess I couldn't fuck, I realized she had leaned far back into my chest as if seeking out my body head. I narrowed my eyes as I tilted her chin up with my hand, pointing her face skywary and revealing that she had fallen asleep in the bath. Again.
I sighed. At least she stopped doing it in the shower…
Glaring at the lazy bum I was practically babysitting, who was currently pouting like a middle-schooler getting a three-inch thick packet right before winter break, she went back to filling out the mass of paperwork that was required for us to become an official Familia.
Meanwhile, I went back to the packet I had received the other day when I planned to meet my advisor, only to be told my familia needed to be officiated before I received those benefits.
Which was totally fair, after all I didn't get stopped when taking out that loan, despite the fact I was incapable of making that five-hundred valis back until all this shit had been filled out and they knew it.
"This shits for the fucking birds." I complained as easily as I breathed, and my annoyance only spiked as I heard a certain cat begin snickering as she moved along the counter.
"Oh, tell us how you really feel, Selah?" I grimaced at the sound of my name being said with such a teasing tone, instinctively raising my metaphorical hackles despite knowing that she was just taking the piss out of me.
"I am very annoyed I have to do fucking homework before I can get to my adventure." I said, channeling the same middle-school energy my dozing-off goddess (who wasn't after a firm nudge to her leg sent her back to work) was. Seriously, I know magic-school is a trope for a fucking reason, but come on? I've never had any actual training for a job before, why start now?
A stern look formed on Bast's face, and I raised a hand to stop the scolding from starting. "I know, I know, knowing your enemy is half the battle. If I didn't know this shit, I'd be way more likely to die than I already am." At the sight of her still harsh expression, I sighed again.
"I'm already going to be behind since I'm the only one whose in Nubi's Familia, and your Familia is more focused on supplying medicine and protection. I have to do this shit practically solo, and most adventurers barely get what I have to start off with. I understand."
"Good. Now why are you complaining?" I hissed under my breath as she asked me the why- I almost never know the reasons I do shit until I start explaining it, but this is an obvious exception.
"Because I had actively made the choice to be an adventure over civilian life, and every moment I spend doing normal shit feels like life asking me how fucking sure I am." I hate second-guessing myself. One half-remembered sentence from an elementary school teacher from almost two decades ago has stuck with me even this far- 'Don't second guess yourself, most of you already had the correct answer but changed it after and got it wrong.'
A burning from my soul followed that memory, much to my surprise.
Lore - Holy Symbol - Konosuba (200 points)
Roll Success! Purchased! 100 points remaining
[Holy Symbol] Faith is quite important to the job of a priest, though who that faith is directed to matters quite a bit less. Instead of directing your prayers towards any of the Goddesses that already exist in this world, you have a holy symbol and books that are suited to a more personal faith, perhaps even one about yourself. They work just as well as any holy symbols would and can be used to channel priestly magic quite well. The books even include a range of holy arts and magic to teach you or any you give the book to.
… But I'm not religious-
With a bang, a heavy book and what I somehow recognized as a heart scarab amulet slammed onto the table in front of me, before the two divine goddesses that lived with me and knew all about the nothing I had on my Falna.
Two sets of golden eyes turned and began burning a hole into me, and I couldn't help but sigh.
"... I can explain."
"Do it." My Goddess spoke up, surprising both me and Bast. "Now."
I blinked, but did as my Goddess asked, thankful for the divine's ability to easily decipher truth from lie. "Okay, so I woke up here the same day you met me with no options but to become an adventurer or twiddle my thumbs until a monster eventually attacked and killed me While doing so I awoke to a power called the Celestial Grimoire, which gives me random spells or magic-related shit at random times."
Both goddesses blinked at that info-dump that contained no lies, Bast turning to me with eyes narrowed with a completely different type of intensity. "If you have a power like that, why didn't you find a big Familia to take you in?"
"Because this fucking thing is unreliable at best. On that first day, I had like four chances to get magic, and only won it on the walk back from the Guild. In the past three days, this has been the only opportunity to get another spell I've gotten. What was I supposed to do, go up to Loki's Familia and proclaim my valued traits of having a luck-based power that hasn't given me a single thing since I realized I had it?"
The two Egyptian goddesses looked at each other, visibly lowered their shoulders, and relaxed.
"Well, as long as you aren't a spy or something, it's all good." Bast waved off her interrogation, and I scoffed.
"Like you have anything worth spying on." Her hair poofed up in a fuzzy explosion as she visibly got angry at me, but calmed down when I chuckled and waved her off. "Apology accepted-"
"Why did you get a Book of the Dead?" Anubis asked me, making me turn to see her with the book open and the scarab amulet in her open palm. "They are magic rituals, sure, but lack offense, defense, or recovery. Useless to the living."
One thing about Anubis that almost no one notices, is that her pupils are bigger compared to the iris and sclera, at least from my human perspective. I know it's mostly because she's a dog girl, and their eyes have a different structure… but they make her stares feel intense and pointed. Combine that with her words, it almost feels like she's accusing me of something, even though I know she's just stating facts.
I let the accusatory feeling slide off my back, and shrugged. "The Grimoire gave me a Holy Symbol, and a text that would give me abilities based on a Faith. It probably chose you because I'm your child, and the text because it's the closest thing to a scripture that worships you." With that, I motioned her to hand the book and amulet over to me, though she only gave me the book. I gave her a look, but she merely shook her head and began leaning over the table towards me. Ignoring the titties that were actively straining the robe she wore, under threat of Bast's intense look, I met my goddess' eyes as she delicately placed the amulet around my neck.
And then she smiled, a small, beautiful thing on her normally sleepy or pouty expression. A warmth filled me as she sat back down, expression faded but the memory of it etched into my memory. I thumbed the necklace she placed on me, and knew without a shadow of a doubt I'd die before I let anything happen to it. To her.
"Thank you," I uttered wistfully, deeply entranced in the beauty of the divine grace sitting before me.
.. I then kicked her under the table again, ruining the moment as she yelped. "Now fill out that Set-damned paperwork so I can make you proud, Nubi."
As Bast laughed at her in the background, Anubis pouted and went back to work, as I regretfully returned to studying my texts. And if Anubis began working more intensely than before, and if my attention was now split between my paperwork, my scripture, and the woman across from me… no one said anything about it.
It was done. Everything was put together. It was finally time.
Standing in front of the entrance to the Dungeon, a massive structure that only wanted the death of all who entered it, I had to ask myself why I was so anxious to go inside this fucking thing. Am I stupid? Is this thing an actual cogni-hazard?
I didn't know. But either way… after dropping off all of the paperwork that named me the first member and Captain of the Anubis Familia, and discovering my advisor was out sick, I came here.
Taking my first steps, mildly noticing the sheer terror and the surprising ease of mobility of the armor I was wearing, gripping my amulet to hide my fear… my soul burned once more.
Control - Chaotic Tamer - Warhammer Fantasy: Warriors of Chaos (200 points)
Roll Failed. +100 points. Now at 200 CP.
…Wow, that would've completely destroyed this setting and made me a verifiable threat. I am definitely not pissed out of my fucking mind right now.
Nope, not doing this right now, hell dungeon here we come. C'mon Selah, on foot in front of the other-
Five steps into the Dungeon's entrance, where the spiral staircase led into the labyrinth I'd find fortune and death in, I stumbled over and fell onto my knees.
Ten, twenty, a hundred. There was no decipherable way to describe how much worse the Dungeon felt when you walked in through the entrance.
It was like every monster, every tragedy, every disaster that had ever took place in this damned place was looking down on me, asking me what the fuck I was thinking strolling on up to this accursed place. The thought that I, a coddled modern man whose never even thrown a fist at someone, could make it back out felt like a joke. A slight on every person whose ever died in this place, never to see the light of day again.
I'd like to say the single thing that kept me from running with my tail between my legs and taking back every promise I'd made was my pride, or defiance.
The thing that broke me out of my spiral was feeling my stomach churn, and realizing I didn't have the money to afford vomiting. And then something in me snapped, and something began pouring out.
A miasma of pure rage and defiance surged out of my soul as I slammed my arm against the stone walls of this place.
"Shut the fuck up, you overgrown anthill! I get what the deal is, you hate me and I hate you, but I'm going down there. Maybe you'll kill me, maybe you won't, but if you want my corpse so badly shut the fuck up and earn it!"
Panting, I realized I had been shouting by the ringing echo, and that I'd stood up in the middle of doing so. Heart racing and hands shaking with adrenaline instead of fear, it didn't take long to realize my 'Villainous Aura' had just triggered along with my emotions.
And while I had the shit out, I was too busy returning every bit of malice this Anubis damned stalagmite was pumping out to have a fucking panic attack. Neat.
I'd like to thing I'd still get past the entrance without the thing, but I wasn't so prideful as to wonder how many of my many blessings I'd need to get the fucking job done.
So without a word, I went down the staircase and entered the first floor of the Dungeon.
When I finally set foot in the First Floor, I could barely withhold my grimace as I began to feel a pressure on my mind that naturally put me on edge. A sort of sixth sense that told me this place was filled to the brim with things that could kill me, leaving sirens ringing in my head.
And seeing the surprisingly wide-open hallway right in front of the staircase I'd stepped down, I felt I was being a bit too paranoid when I had picked my weapon.
The dagger resting firmly in my hand and the twin on my back weren't the only possible options for starter weapons at the Guild, but I had absolutely zero idea how to use a sword, spear, or god forbid an axe.
Daggers and knives aren't very intimidating, and don't supply a lot of range for combat considering you need to get into stabbing range, but the main benefit is the ease of use. They're easy to use for a beginner, easy to carry, cheap, and easy to hide.
But considering I remember the Dungeon to be extremely claustrophobic, maybe I should've tried a sword so I don't get out-ranged by any monsters.
Taking a breath, I began walking down the Newbie Hallway, absently picking out the sounds of various other adventurers bouncing off the walls- considering I already had pretty good hearing before I got my Falna, it's gotten even better despite not gaining any stats yet.
I forced the grip on my dagger to ease as I came across the fact that I was currently at my weakest- the belief that adventurers grow overtime is doubled in my case, considering I gain out of context abilities out of thin fucking air. If I survive long enough, I'll end up powerful.
But right now, I have curses I barely know how to use, and divine magic that I'm sure as fuck not throwing around in the God-Slaying Dungeon, two daggers, and a dream.
A crack echoing out in front of me drew the entirety of my attention, as I got to witness the beauty of life being passed down, in the form a disgusting fucking goblin falling out of a freshly cracked Dungeon wall.
My pulse raced and my mind sharpened as I immediately hit the barely-dressed goblin with a curse- watching as the barely-sentient thing trembled as a miasma I knew it couldn't see coated its entire body.
And as pure red eyes of complete hatred turned my way, I realized I'd fucked up the curse when I immediately realized I didn't give it a specific curse-
The bald, hairy green thing lunged straight for me, spit trailing out of its mouth as it cackled with glee, sharpened claws reared back to slash at my face.
I was proud to say that my fear response chose fight instead of anything else, as I stepped forward and hitting him with a Curse of Impalement- willing him to get stabbed with my magic- and lashed out with my dagger.
The sensation of metal piercing another's soft flesh and an animalistic screech filled me as my blade found its way into the monster's stomach. With a dexterity I plainly didn't have before all of this I grabbed the small thing by the shoulder and held it at arm's length before ripping the blade out in one clean motion.
Then I stabbed it again. And again. And once more for good measure.
I only stopped once a familiar heat filled my soul.
Magitek - Psychic Abilities-Cyberpathy (Analyze Structure) - World of Darkness - Sorcerer (100 CP)
Roll Success! Purchased! 100 points remaining.
[ Psychic Abilities - Cyberpathy] In the World of Darkness, psychic abilities and mythic sorcery are, at first glance, completely different. However, both manipulate the same powers, albeit in very different ways, and are both considered forms of linear magic. While a sorcerer utilizes numerous tools and ceremonies to harness supernatural powers, a psychic makes do with lots, and lots, of willpower. Furthermore, the majority of psychic powers are innate, and can be improved, but not gained, without outside interference, in stark contrast to sorcery.
The ability to read the data stored inside a computer within sight, effectively a sort of "electronic telepathy." As a relative of Cyberkinesis, similar debates about its origins exist. Encrypted data is, of course, more difficult to read. Using this power normally takes about 10 to 15 minutes of concentration, though mundane computer skills can accelerate it.
[1] Analyze structure - the cyberpath may identify any and all files stored upon a hard drive, but not access them. Yet.
Oh just fucking great, exactly what I needed after fighting my first goblin, a power I was forced to buy that will never be useful while I'm in this universe, making it almost impossible to get anything worth a damn next roll-!
Breathe.
I took a sharp breath before exhaling slowly, grasping the scarab amulet around my neck and imagining a comforting heat as I calmed down.
Everything's all right, you killed the goblin without even getting touched. Sure you panicked and lashed out, but it was the first time something genuinely tried to kill you. Defending your life is all right- exactly what you should do, even.
The comforting words flowed through my mind, and for a moment I wondered whose words those were, but then I remembered whose symbol this was. I gave a warm sigh, glad that-
Rapid footsteps bare skin on stone duck!
I tried to lean away from the coming strike, But a sudden mental exhaustion washed over me for just a moment, ensuring I couldn't dodge the clawed swipe completely.
The sensation of my left cheek being clawed open, bits of my flesh being scraped away by sharp nails, made me cry out immediately even as I knocked the motherfucker away with my shoulder and into the wall.
As accident prone as I sometimes tend to be, the sight of my own blood wasn't too disorienting, but the two other goblins that were now pincering me.
I couldn't just start throwing out curses to guarantee every goddamn hit, my Mind was already low- obviously, considering that was the first spell I'd ever thrown. Acting as quickly as I could, I forced out as much Villainous Aura as possible, causing the two goblins to freeze up.
With that opportunity I turned around and slammed my bloodied dagger into the spine of the fucker who cut my cheek. Flipping right back around and failing to tear out my dagger, I blindly felt behind me for the spare as the other two broke through the so-so malice I had been putting out while distracted.
One lunged while the other went low and sprinted at me, looking straight at my legs. I tossed out a curse to the sprinting one, willing him to fall over, before focusing at the fucking projectile hurtling my way.
Lucky for me I got my knife out and let the disgusting goblin run into the blade, somehow getting it through his throat as the final goblin tripped over his own two feet and crashed face first into the stone leaving a red splatter on impact.
Absolutely feeling the effects of not being able to keep from panic casting the only spell I could use, I slowly walked over to the visibly concussed goblin and slammed my foot into the back of its head.
When it started struggling, I stomped on it again. And again. I didn't lose myself to panic, I just continued stomping the bitch out until it finally popped and the mana crystal clinked against the stone floor.
It was only now that I realized I was panting- no, heaving as I dropped off to the side, sliding against the wall still slick with blood.
My Mind was low. No, that isn't the half of it. Mind Down was about to put just the tip in, and I was currently on the verge of giving the a-okay. A delirious chuckle spilled past my lips at the thought.
Ugh, of course I make porn jokes when I'm freaking out over here. Shaking my head, wincing at the feeling of my blood being flung out of my cheek, I reached for the little pouch I had to my right side.
Sifting through the container, my finger pressed against the glass vial filled with the mystical red potion that would heal me up right as rain, as if I'd never been hit…
"This is an investment in you paying off your lazy goddess' debts. You ain't allowed to die 'till I start making a profit off you two. Capiche?"
But I moved past it and took out a larger jar filled with a specific ointment Bast gave me. It was for cleaning wounds, and helped force skin to heal.
The claw-mark was a surface, superficial wound. If I started wasting potions on every ouchie and booboo I was going to get, I'd be even deeper in the hole than I already was.
The ointment was good enough for something like this. Even if it burned a bit.
Destruction - Weapon Materialization - Genshin Impact (Free)
Roll Success! Purchased! 100 points remaining.
[ Weapon Materialization] One ability that is not talked about much, yet is worth taking note of, is the ability for those with Visions to store their weapons away in a flash of light. With a simple flick of their wrist, they are able to materialise and dematerialise their chosen weapon away in the blink of an eye. This is not something that all Vision users are proficient in though, a certain red ranger occasionally leaving her bow at home. As a wielder of a Vision yourself, this is an ability that you too share. You can summon and de-summon your 'main' weapon away at your leisure. Should you wish, you can change which weapon that you are able to summon.
I grimaced at the unintended irony of the spell I'd just unlocked, but I accepted the almost Celestial Criticism to the chin.
I needed a longer weapon, and this ability refuses to give me an excuse about. Hell, it's fucking free. I haven't gotten a freebie since I got here, that's how bad I'm doing.
In the tail-end of the fight, rubbing ointment on a wound that would definitely scar, and picking up loot that would never make up for the things I'd lost in this fight… I didn't even bother looking at the staircase behind me as I put together everything I needed to work on.
Honestly, for my first fight I only have two actionable criticism other than 'get more experience' and 'fight better'. Well, one is actually a symptom of the other, but eh.
I need to stop fighting like a fucking pussy, and for the love of god, stop throwing out my one spell for every kill.
Every single goblin I came across took the initiative from me, forcing me to react. But the fact is I have a way longer stride and attack range due to not being the size of an eight year old.
Again, this is an issue of only having daggers to fight with. I'm now well aware that the size of the area isn't going to be an issue… my first priority is getting a weapon I could actually use. Because while I've been acting like a pussy this whole time, a larger weapon wouldn't have helped me once I froze and the goblins got past my weapon's effective range.
Anubis forbid, I put too much force and left myself open for a classic JJK Jumping.
Picking myself up, metaphorically rather than literally, I realized that the initial exhaustion/lightheadedness from spending so much Mind so quickly had faded away. Still, I was banning myself from using my curses until I absolutely needed it, and if I used it again I was leaving straight away.
I fought another eight goblins before I called it quits- only in groups of one or two, and always a far bit apart from each other. For a second I thought that one v four was a fluke and my luck was finally turning around.
Then I remembered Monster Parties and Pass Parades are a legitimate thing here, and decided to cut my losses to ensure the worst didn't happen.
Making my way outside, I found myself caught in the returning flood of adventurers- I had entered the dungeon itself a few hours later than what was usual for adventurers, but apparently I was leaving at the perfect time to join in the afternoon exit. Following the tide, I noticed a fair bit of people breaking off to straight into town instead of the Guild- which I realized was a fair deal if you didn't want to wait along with the mass amount of adventurers going to out to collect their valis.
Unfortunately, I was currently living paycheck to paycheck in a fantasy world (Put that on a light novel/Hachiman fic) so I had to join in the massive fuck-off line with the rest.
A groan of disinterest filled me, but I persevered through it all.
… I tried not to look at the people who looked lost, who were stifling their cries, who had clear holes in their parties that none of them went to fill.
Fortune or Failure. That was what laid within the Dungeon. No in betweens, no exceptions. Just a roll of the dice.
Was it wrong to take a chance, to risk it all in such a horrific place?
Without a doubt.
But I would do so. There's no other path for me here.
Now, time to get paid and immediately lose most of it to debts and equipment to get more money. God fucking damn it.
Again I walked under the burning stars, finding them catching my eyes and distracting me from my path back home.
Hell, businesses were still booming around here, restaurants were still serving customers, I think hookers were just getting ready to get a post-dungeon dive if you know what I mean.
The mood was abuzz with life and joy, a certain gratitude for every moment they spend out of the Dungeon making them merry. And I get it- the mood and cheer, the multitude of shops that have specific hours in the night for Adventurer clientele. The city is specifically designed around the Dungeon, from the buildings, to the businesses, to the people who live here.
For a second, I truly bought the appeal of being an adventurer. It was like joining a club filled with likeminded people who all shared the same core wish and dream- to never go in the Dungeon again.
But there's a stark difference between us. I… was going to risk it all in the depths of this place. I would forge myself in the crucible they called a job, in the hopes of keeping myself alive long enough to find another way. They are risking their lives for this hell.
I am risking my life to spite this hell.
Divination - Insightful Gaze - Touhou Project: Forbidden Hermit (400 CP)
Roll Failed. +100 Points. 200 points banked.
… No one said I was succeeding at spiting it, but Anubis damn it I'm fucking trying!