I do not own Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends, they are strictly the property of both the Awdry Family and Britt Allcroft. This story is both purely for entertainment and never profit.
(Warning, this chapter contains sex and suicide)
Episode 44: Better Late than Never, Original Airdate: November 12th, 1986
It was a cool evening on the Island of Sodor. Thomas was on his way to Rainbow's End to pick up Lucy and to tell one of his stories to the children. He was unfortunately running late, he had finished work late due to his last train of the day being obstructed by a fallen tree. If that wasn't bad enough, some idiotic young couple who had for whatever reason, decided to stop their car in the middle of the road and have sex, so Thomas had to wait again until the police arrived and dragged the young couple away.
He soon arrived at Rainbow's End and exited his car, he rushed up to the door and knocked on it. A few moments later, it was answered by Reverend Boston.
"Ah young Thomas there you are" he said, "we were beginning to think that you weren't coming".
"I'm so sorry Reverend Boston" said Thomas sincerely, "I'm afraid there was delay after delay".
"Well I'm afraid that its only Lucy left here" replied Reverend Boston.
"Really?" asked Thomas in shock at how late he was.
"Yeah" replied Reverend Boston, "in fact me and Reverend Awdry decided that if you didn't come within 10 more minutes, we were going to call your parents to come and pick her up".
"Is she okay?" asked Thomas worriedly.
"Oh she's fine" replied Reverend Boston assuring.
Reverend Boston then brought Thomas inside of Rainbows End and brought him into the main room. Thomas saw that Reverend Awdry and his son Christopher Awdry were entertaining Lucy with a children's book that Christopher had recently published.
As Thomas entered the room, Lucy saw her father and began waddling towards him.
"Daddy" said Lucy happily at her father's arrival.
"Hello Lucy sweetie" said Thomas as he scooped up his daughter in his arms, "I'm so sorry that I was late".
"Yes that was very unlike you young Thomas" said Reverend Awdry.
"That's right" replied Christopher, "you're usually on time. But since you weren't the children didn't have a story today and were quite disappointed".
"Whatever happened young Thomas?" asked Reverend Awdry.
Thomas then covered Lucy's ears so that she wouldn't hear the naughtier parts of his story. When he was done, Reverends Awdry, Boston and Christopher were shocked.
"Seriously?" asked Christopher, "who in their right mind stops their car in the middle of traffic to make love?".
"Your guess is as good as mine son" replied Reverend Awdry.
"But I take there's not going to be any story today young Thomas?" asked Reverend Boston.
"Oh don't worry there will be" replied Thomas, "besides at least we still have Lucy here".
"You're right there young Thomas" replied Reverend Boston.
"You interested in hearing one of my stories Christopher?" Thomas asked Reverend Awdry's son.
"I sure am" replied Christopher, "besides I've heard so much about your stories from dad I might as well".
"Okay then shall we get ready?" suggested Thomas.
Reverends Awdry and Boston got four chairs together so that they, Christopher and Lucy could hear Thomas' story. Reverend Awdry even broke out some milk and cookies for everyone.
"Ready now" said Thomas, "you three ready?".
"We sure are" replied Reverend Awdry, "may I ask what story do you have for us today young Thomas?".
"Its about the time I was late for Bertie due to the viaduct repairs" said Thomas.
"Well then Thomas" said Christopher, "take it away please".
"Right then" said Thomas as he began his story, "it all began when the viaduct on the mainline was being repaired".
(Story Begins)
The engine drivers on the North Western Railway were finding life difficult, workmen were mending the viaduct on the mainline. The arches needed strengthening due to the viaducts age, but Sir Topham Hatt didn't want to close the railway while the work was being done and so repairs took a long time.
The engine drivers had to take great care whilst crossing the viaduct and the delay would often make them late on their journey to the junction, where they knew Thomas would be waiting to collect his passengers. This of course frustrated him greatly.
"I just don't get it" said Thomas to Henry at Elsbridge one day, "why should I keep my passengers when it will only make them angry?".
"I know that you're frustrated Thoams" replied Henry, "but there's nothing we can do about it. If we hurried across the viaduct, it might collapse, and your passengers could be killed. You surely wouldn't want that would you?".
"No" sighed Thomas in defeated, "I'm sorry Henry. I'm just frustrated".
"I know Thomas" replied Henry sympathetically, "but I'm afraid that until the viaduct's repairs are complete there's nothing, we can do about it".
Thomas could only agree grimly as the guard blew his whistle and Thomas hopped back into his E2 and headed off. Bertie was frustrated too, he usually timed to arrive at Tidmouth Station just after Thomas. His passengers found that instead of going straight from the bus to their train, they were kept waiting until Thomas arrived. Soon Bertie grew cross with Thomas.
"Late again?" he remarked one day as Thomas panted wearily in.
"I'm sorry Bertie" replied Thomas, "but no matter how fast I go. I can't just make up for lost time".
"You know this isn't Thomas' fault Bertie" added Howard sternly.
"I know" said Bertie cooling down, "I'm sorry I was cross Thomas".
"I understand Bertie" replied Thomas, "but with both the viaduct's repairs and the summer rush going on. There's really nothing that I can do".
"That you can't replied Bertie in understanding.
Later that night, Thomas and Lady were staying over at Muffle Mountain in America with Burnett at his house. Thomas had just brought his engine into Burnett's workshop shed, where Lady's engine was also being kept. After damping down his E2's fire, Thomas hopped down from its cab and headed up into Burnett's house.
"Lady" Thomas called, "are you in?".
"I'm in the bath" came Lady's voice, "care to join me?".
This got Thomas excited, maybe a bath and some "fun" would hopefully make him feel a little better after a stressful day. He then entered the bathroom where he found Lady taking a bubble bath, she noticed him and smiled.
"You looking to take a bath big boy?" she asked sultry.
"You need ask" replied Thomas with a grin on his face.
Thomas then began to strip out of all his clothes, as he took off his boxers, Lady moved up so that he could get in behind her. Once Thomas was fully naked, he stepped into the bath and lowered himself into the warm soapy water behind Lady who then lay back into his arms.
"Say is Burnett here?" asked Thomas as began to massage Lady's shoulders.
"He's at Shining Time" replied Lady, "it's Stacey's birthday. Which means it's just the two of us for a few hours".
"I guess it is" replied Thomas with a smile.
Lady groan in ecstasy as she felt Thomas lower his hands from her shoulders and began to gently caress her pregnant belly.
"I sure can't wait until I can hold our little boy or girl in my arms" Thomas said.
"Neither can I" replied Lady.
"I know that we're both quite young" said Thomas, "but I have fully confidence that we can both make it through this and come out strong".
"That I agree with you fully Thomas" replied Lady, "and that is why I love you".
Thomas smiled at his beloved girlfriends' words and kiss her deeply, his tongue locking with hers. As they kissed, Lady felt Thomas' hand slide down to her clit and began to massage it, causing her to moan in pleasure.
"Oh God" Lady moaned.
"You think that a fuck is on the cards?" asked Thomas.
"Oh God yes" begged Lady.
After emptying the bath and drying off, Thomas gently picked Lady up and carried her bridal style to her old bedroom before gently lowering her onto her bed. Thomas then looked down and saw that his penis was fully erect, giving a cheeky grin he then knelt down on Lady's bed before spreading her legs.
"You ready?" asked Thomas.
"I was born ready" replied Lady.
Giving her a naughty smile, Thomas then slowly entered Lady and began to gently thrust in and out of her, making Lady moan. They made love for half an hour before Thomas released inside her, once he was fully empty Thomas then lay down beside Lady and took her in his arms.
"I love you so much Lady Stone" said Thomas.
"And I love you Thomas Billinton" replied Lady lovingly.
The two young expective parents then slowly drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. Thomas felt a little better after this, it seemed to make the stress of the delays due to the viaduct's repairs fade away, although he knew that he would eventually face them again.
A few days later, Thomas was back on Sodor and waiting for James at Elsbridge. The red engine driver was running late, Thomas obviously knew why. Just then he heard puffing and saw James' red L&YR tender engine coming into the platform, James then hopped down from the cab.
"I'm so sorry Thomas" he panted, "I was held up at the station and the viaduct just made it worse".
"I can't wait until the viaduct's repairs are complete" said Thomas, "then everything can go back to normal".
"That I fully agree with you" replied James.
After James' passengers hopped into Thomas' coaches, he hopped into his E2's cab and headed off on his journey so he could collect his passengers from Bertie at Tidmouth. It was a warm and sunny day as his E2's coasted down the line, despite James being late, the lovely weather made Thomas feel a little cheerful.
After a short while he came to a level crossing. Thomas then noticed a red shape and several people surrounding it, as he approached Thomas noticed that it was Bertie's red bus, the latter was looking over its engine.
"What's the matter Bertie?" asked Thoams as he brought his E2 to a stop at the level crossing.
"Its my bus" said Bertie dejectedly, "her engines upset, and I can't mend her until I get her back to the bus depot. Could you take my passengers please, they'll never get home otherwise".
"Of course" replied Thoams kindly and feeling sorry for Bertie, "I'll also get help at the next station".
"Thank you so much Thomas"
The passengers then hopped into Thomas' coaches and the young engine driver headed off. He was already feeling much more cheerful and Bertie's passengers, traveling in the coaches with Annie and Clarabel, all reached home safely.
The next day, Bertie's bus had been fully repaired and meet with Thomas in the Tidmouth station siding.
"Thank you for helping both me and my passengers yesterday," said Bertie.
"You're very welcome Bertie" replied Thomas, "you know there are sometimes when being late isn't such a bad thing after all".
"That I can agree with you" said Bertie.
With a last cheerful greeting, the two friends went back to work.
(Story Ends)
"And ever since then there were times when being late wasn't bad at all" said Thomas as he finished his story. that bad at all".
"That was a very good story young Thomas" congratulated Reverend Awdry.
"Dad was sure right about you being a good storyteller Thomas" complimented Christopher.
"That I' am" replied Thomas.
With that Thomas picked up Lucy in his arms and grabbed her schoolbag before leaving Rainbow's End and heading home to dinner with Lucy.
(2011)
Bill and Ben were both feeling bored and mischievous. There had been little work for them at the China Clay Pits and so they had decided to entertain themselves by playing a good old-fashioned prank call on someone. They had decided to call Directory Enquires and drive the worker they were calling mad with their prank. Bill was the first to make the call, the phone rang for a few seconds before the worker, a Scot, on the other side answered.
"Hello Directory Enquires, Hamish McIntosh helping today" said the worker on the other side, "which name please?".
Sniggering Bill then hung up the phone before he and Ben looked at each other with naughty grins on their faces before deciding to call again, Ben dialed this time.
"Hello Directory Enquires, Hamish McIntosh helping today" said Hamish as before, "which name please?".
"Willy" said Ben naughtily.
"Surname?" Hamish then asked.
"Elephants big hairy" replied Bill naughtily.
There was a brief silence before Hamish spoke again.
"I suppose you two think that's funny?" he asked crossly.
"Yeah don't you get it" said Bill cheekily, "elephants big hairy willy".
"Or dick, willy or dick what do you think we can't decide" said Ben cheekily, "willy, dick. Dick, willy, cook. Cocks a good one".
"Honestly you people make me sick" Hamish said angrily, "haven't you got anything better to do than make my life a bloody misery?".
"Uh conkers" Bill and Ben both said at the same time.
"My JOBS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT LITTLE SHITS LIKE YOU GIVING ME THIS KIND OF GRIEF" Hamish ranted, "I DON'T NEED IT. YOU'RE SCUM, I'M GOING TO GET SACKED BECAUSE OF THIS. LISTEN HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYBODY BLOWING THEIR OWN BRAINS OUT?".
"Uh no" replied Bill and Ben.
"You haven't then" said Hamish in a calmer voice, "alright then. Listen to this, listen".
Bill and Ben's cheeky expressions then turned faded when they thought they heard the sound of a gun cocking.
"My life's OVER" said Hamish.
There was a gunshot over the phone before the line went dead, Bill and Ben just sat there in complete shock and silence.
"U-uh thank you" Ben said quickly, "Y-yeah, alright, yes. Okay, b-bye, b-bye now, b-bye bye, b-bye bye".
Ben then hung up the phone before he and Bill looked at each other with guilt and fear.
And done and I must say I'm pleased with how it turned out. Sorry it took me a month, I've no excuse. Also the suicide was taken from Aardman's Angry Kid series. Note poor Hamish is the cousin of a pair of familiar Scottish twins who are going to make their debut in the next chapter. Anyway, please be so kind as to leave a preview and as always, see you all next time.