The ShadowClan cats haven't made it far. I find 'em crouched just beyond our treeline, still on the verge of panic.
"How can Tigerstar be dead? He was the strongest cat ever!" wails Rowanpaw.
"Just one swipe of that monster Scourge's claws and he lost nine lives. What hope does any other cat have?" Deerfoot cries.
"Will we have to leave the forest?" Tallpoppy whimpers.
"But where else would we go? ShadowClan has always lived here," Dawncloud meows.
"What are we going to do now?" Wolfstep almost snarls.
Some cats can't even speak. Boulder presses himself against a tree, panting. I lean into him, breathe in the sour reak of fear. "We're gonna be okay," I say. "We're ShadowClan. If the sickness couldn't destroy this clan-"
"Only because Tigerstar saved us," Stumpytail hisses venomously. "How dare you show your face in our territory after what you did! You've got some nerve."
"If you're waitin' for me to apologize for helpin' innocent, starving cats, I reckon you'll pass out from no air soon. I'm back 'cause, in case you haven't noticed, our leader left us to deal with a bunch of bloodthirsty lunatics as a parting gift. I'd like to help my clanmates get outa this fix if I can."
Jaggedtooth, who's curled up in the grass with his tail over his nose, sits up and glares at me. "Are you happy now?" he hisses. "You always wanted Tigerstar to fail. Well, I reckon you got what you wanted."
I know he's lashin' out 'cause he's scared and sad, but that don't stop me from gettin' mad right back. "If you honestly think I wanted this, Jaggedtooth, you're crazier than Scourge and Tigerstar put together. When Tigerstar asked me about BloodClan, he said he needed to know about anything that could threaten ShadowClan. I never thought for a heartbeat he'd be daft enough to invite 'em to the forest."
I search the faces of the warriors around me, worried they'll drive me away before I can even find Nightwhisper. What will I do then? ThunderClan sure won't want me back. I can't seem to learn to look before I run.
"This is all my fault," Boulder meows tremulously, yankin' me out of my fear spiral. "Tigerstar asked me about BloodClan too, and then he ordered me to guide him to twolegplace. At first he was going to ask you, Nettlethorn, but after what you told him, he figured you either wouldn't do it or would say something to offend Scourge."
"Yeah, diplomatic is definitely the first word that comes to mind when I think of Nettlethorn," Wetfoot says sarcastically. But there's no hostility or anger in the other warrior's eyes, which is a huge relief.
"Have all of you forgotten this cat is a traitor?" sneers a voice I really could've gone the rest of my life without hearin'.
"You got no right to call me a traitor, Darkstripe," I growl. "I know exactly why you were banished from ThunderClan. It's the lowest piece of filth that would hurt a kit. It'd serve you right if BloodClan did you in too."
Darkstripe lunges at me with unsheathed claws, but Boulder shoulder-checks him hard. "What are you doing, idiot?" the skinny silver tom snaps.
"Driving away a stinking, lying rogue," Darkstripe hisses. "You all heard Tigerstar say she's no longer a TigerClan warrior."
"Yeah, well, both TigerClan and its precious leader are dead as last moon's fresh-kill," Boulder growls bitterly. "I'd rather have Nettlethorn as a clanmate over you any day."
"Of course you would, Boulder. Why any tom would want that as a mate, I have no idea. Blackfoot, tell this deserter to crawl back to that kittypet she loves so much," Darkstripe snaps.
The ShadowClan deputy ain't said one word this whole time. When Darkstripe calls his name, he swings his head in our direction, but his eyes are so blank and vacant that I'm not even sure he knows who I am. It's more than a little scary. Blackfoot lifts his big shoulders in a desultory shrug. "Stay here, go back to ThunderClan, go to the Dark Forest, what do I care? We're all finished," he says dully. Without lookin' back at us, he starts toward camp.
The rest of the cats follow him in a straggling line, but Fernshade is still rooted to the spot. "StarClan has turned away from us!" she wails. "This is their punishment for ShadowClan's crimes."
I lap my friend's ears gently. "Quit talkin' like that," I murmur. Even though she's older than me, I feel like I'm talkin' to a kit who's just woken up from a nightmare. Or maybe is still havin' a nightmare.
"Scourge ain't no punishment from StarClan," I continue when Fernshade's tremors don't let up. Just a punishment inflicted on us by our ex-leader's ambition and idiocy, I don't add. "Besides, he ain't just our problem. He threatened all four clans." The only sensible thing to do is work together to fight BloodClan. I figure they'll work this out soon, once the worst of the shock and horror wears off.
"I s-suppose you're r-right," Fernshade stammers, though she sounds far from certain. I urge her to her paws, and we hurry to catch up with our clanmates.
"I'm glad you came back," Boulder meows when I reach his side.
"So am I. Camp has been quieter and less interesting without you, and Boulder's been moping about for half a moon," Fernshade agrees. Flicking an anxious glance at her brother, she adds, "I'm sure Blackfoot will come around when he's… when things aren't so…"
"You should go check on him," I say. "I reckon he needs his siblings right about now. He's our deputy, so he gotta get his act together." Fernshade swishes her tail at me and moves up to walk beside Blackfoot and Flintfang.
Turnin' back to Boulder, I ask, "Why didn't Tigerstar bring Nightwhisper to the battle? I would've thought he'd want to test his loyalty by makin' him fight me."
Boulder stops, trips on a whole lot of nothin'. The cautious hope I saw on his face when he defended me to Darkstripe is replaced by a look of such misery and sorrow that I have to turn away. He wouldn't look like that if Nightwhisper was just left to guard one of the camps.
"Tigerstar must have imprisoned him. He's gotta be in the old fox den. I'll go get him out right now. He'll be fine if he's only been down there for a night and half a day. Or, no, I reckon he was hurt worse than I thought in the battle with WindClan, so now he's in the medicine den, and Runningnose and Littlecloud are takin' care of him."
I know I'm babbling, but I don't wanna stop 'cause that would mean I gotta listen to what Boulder has to say. But eventually, I run out of nonsense to spew.
"I'm so sorry, Nettlethorn, but Nightwhisper is… he's dead," Boulder says, running his tail along my spine.
By now, we're on the home stretch toward camp. I open my jaws wide and smell blood and decay. Just your imagination, runnin' wild after what happened at Fourtrees, I try to tell myself. But the smell's only gettin' stronger.
Boulder tries to block me. "No, you don't have to see-"
I barge past him into a small dip in the earth, screened by reeds. My brother obviously died fighting. There's dark brown fur stuck between his claws. There are terrible scratches on his belly, but he died when some cat ripped his throat out. Scavengers have obviously been at him. One of his green eyes is gone, and the other stares up at the sky, as blank and unseeing as a stone. I looked into those eyes every day of my life, loved them more than my own self. But now, all I can do is shoo the flies off him and press my nose into his cold, stiff fur.
Some cat is makin' a terrible wailing sound, like all the world's heartbreak and grief given a single voice. Takes me a little while to realize that racket's comin' from me. A voice I should know keeps callin' my name. Some cat tries to touch me, but I shrink away and unsheathe my claws.
When they leave me alone, I start groomin' my dead brother. As I carefully wash the blood and dirt out of his fur, I let the memories sweep over me like the river's current. Before our eyes were open, before we had names, we were together in the warm darkness, cuddled against Mama's belly and drinkin' the sweet milk she gave us. I remember all the little ways we protected each other in BloodClan. Sometimes I took bites and scratches meant for him; other times, he did it for me. And when Mama woke us in the middle of the night and whispered that now was our chance to run, we encouraged each other through fear and hunger and sore paws. I never did a single thing in my life without thinkin' about my brother. How can I live without him? How can I be a family of one? I should've argued more strongly against this whole coming-to-the-forest business. At least if we'd stayed in town, Nightwhisper would still be alive. Probably, if BloodClan hadn't killed him. And maybe they got to him, even here.
I lift my head as three cats walk cautiously toward me. Boulder's in the lead, of course, but he's got Tangleburr and Lightningpaw with him. The ginger-and-white apprentice rubs against me, then sits beside Nightwhisper and begins sharing tongues with him. "You were a good mentor," she whispers. "And I think you were a good warrior, no matter what Tigerstar said."
She understands, I think, as much as any cat can. She lost her whole family and somehow found a way to move on. That seems impossible to me right now, but thinking of Lightningpaw's spunk and eagerness gives me just a little hope.
Before I can do anything, I gotta know what happened. As Boulder and Tangleburr sit down on either side of me, I ask, "Was it Tigerstar or BloodClan?"
"In a way, both," Tangleburr meows.
"BloodClan showed up after the battle with WindClan," Boulder says, shuddering. "Nightwhisper snuck out of camp around moonhigh. A BloodClan warrior—Snipe, I think her name is—followed him, claimed he was headin' for the road."
Toward the ThunderClan border, toward me. While I'd been sleeping, warm and cozy in a nest near Cinderpelt's den, my brother made a run for it. He didn't hate me after all. Maybe he finally had enough of Tigerstar too, or maybe he was just terrified of BloodClan. I can't ask him no more. I can't ask him anything ever again.
Nightwhisper, why couldn't you have just waited till the battle? If you'd waited just a little while more, we'd be together now. You'd be warm and breathin' and talkin' beside me, like you oughtta be. Maybe if I'd tried to go for him last night… With another choked cry, I bury my face in his fur.
"We need to tell her the rest," Tangleburr says sadly, "otherwise some cat like Darkstripe or Jaggedtooth will do it out of spite."
"You finish it," Boulder says dully.
Tangleburr lays her tail across my shoulders and says, "The BloodClan warriors dragged Nightwhisper back to camp. Tigerstar asked if he was planning to defect to ThunderClan, and he said yes."
"He said yes, for real? He didn't try to deny it?"
All three shake their heads. "He was so brave, Nettlethorn. He said TigerClan wasn't home for him without you, and he said you were right to oppose what was happening with those half-clan cats. He said his only regret was that it was ThunderClan who rescued you and not him," Boulder says.
"He really said that?" I ask, my throat closin' with emotion all over again.
"Yeah, and then Tigerstar killed him. He went down fighting like a warrior," Tangleburr says. I nod, knowin' this is the clans' highest compliment. But in my littermate's absence, it sounds hollow.
"I got this"—Lightningpaw indicates the scratch above her eye—"for trying to groom him after he died. Tigerstar said traitors didn't deserve vigils or sharing tongues. Then he… he made me and Boulder take him out of camp and leave him in the forest. Darkstripe followed to make sure we didn't do any of the mourning rituals."
The calculated cruelty of this fills me with grief and rage that roar through my head like a fast car. And then another thought, cold and clear as the frozen river: I'm glad Tigerstar's dead. I'm glad he died hard. And he didn't feel even a fraction of the pain he caused me and Mistyfoot and the kin of all them other cats he murdered.
And now I gotta live with this hurt and hollow place inside me, this loneliness of being the last of my kin. But I will live, and I will fight for the cats I love. Ain't gonna give Tigerstar or BloodClan the satisfaction of seein' me give up and die.
So I heave myself to my paws and say, "I'm goin' to bury him."
"Boulder and I will help," Tangleburr says. "It's not safe to be alone in the forest just now."
"If you gotta get back to your kits, I understand," I say.
"They're asleep, and Darkflower's watching them," my friend assures me. Her eyes darken with worry, and I know she's wonderin' what kind of life Duskkit and Pinekit can possibly have with BloodClan in the forest.
"I'll come too," Lightningpaw says.
"Shouldn't you get back to camp?" I ask the apprentice gently. "Who's your new mentor?"
Lightningpaw's ears and tail droop. "Tigerstar said he would mentor me. He said he needed to watch me closely because I'd been influenced by rogue traitors. But now, I… I guess I don't have a mentor." Not like I need more reasons to be glad Tigerstar's dead, but given how he traumatized his last apprentice right outa the forest, the thought of him as Lightningpaw's mentor makes me shudder. He'd either scare her to death or beat her goodness right out of her.
"Okay then, just stay close to us and be vigilant. Eyes, ears, and nose open," I say.
Boulder helps me carry Nightwhisper's body. ShadowClan buries our dead in one of the most beautiful places on our territory: a shaded hollow beside a clear, fast-flowing brook. Each grave is marked with a small rock. Our paws crunch over snow and a few pine needles as we look for a clear spot.
When I find one that feels right—not that anywhere feels right for buryin' my brother—we set his body down gently and start digging. It ain't easy, on account of leaf-bare has made the ground hard. But with four of us workin' together, we soon have a grave.
"Do you want to say something?" Boulder asks as we lower Nightwhisper into the hole.
For a few heartbeats, I just stand there, not knowing how I'm supposed to say goodbye. I eventually settle on, "Whereever you are, whether it's StarClan or Mama's garden, I hope you're at peace. I'll see you again someday." My three companions murmur their own farewells, then we start fillin' in the hole.
"Nettlethorn, are you coming back to ShadowClan for good?" Lightningpaw asks, smoothing the dirt down.
I don't wanna crush her or give her false hope. "I honestly don't know, Lightningpaw. Things are real crazy and complicated right now. I'd like to, but I reckon Blackfoot will decide, if he ends up becomin' leader."
"Why wouldn't he?" Boulder asks. "The deputy always becomes leader."
"But what if we have to leave the forest? How will he get his nine lives from StarClan?" Tangleburr frets.
"Do you really think we'll have to leave?" Lightningpaw asks.
How in the Dark Forest should I know? I want to ask them. Why y'all lookin' at me for answers I ain't got? But the question be somethin' to think about besides Nightwhisper's murder.
"ShadowClan can't take on BloodClan alone. We'll have to see what the other clans do," I say.
"They might not help us after what Tigerstar did," Boulder murmurs uneasily.
"Could be," I meow, "but if ThunderClan and WindClan think they can drive out BloodClan without us, they be a lot stupider than they look. Way I see it is, all four clans are in this mess, so let's work together to get out of it and deal with the other shit later."
"I hope the clan leaders will come to the same conclusion," Boulder saxs doubtfully. "For all we know, they think we're with BloodClan now."
"Never," I hiss, remembering Sandstorm's words.
I go down to the stream and pry a small stone out of the bank, gettin' my paws wet in the process. Once I place the rock on my brother's grave, there ain't nothin' left to do. I could've stayed by the graveside forever, but our clan needs us. We turn our paws back toward camp.
Lightningpaw, irrepressible as always, bounds ahead, practicing various crouching and leaping maneuvers. "Check this out!" she cries.
"Stay close," I order. "StarClan knows who's out there."
But Lightningpaw has seen something, or maybe heard a rustle in the pine needles, because she streaks off into the forest. I swear and turn to go after her.
"You sound like a grumpy elder," Boulder teases, flickin' me playfully.
"Or a grumpy mentor," Tangleburr says wryly.
Lightningpaw races toward us, and I'm about to fuss at her for strayin' when I take in her terror-widened eyes and bristling fur. "The camp is being invaded!" she cries.