A/N: Hello, my lovely readers! I am back with chapter three, and I hope you all enjoy it. This is a hard subject to write about, but I hope that I am doing it justice. Please know that if you are feeling similar to Bella, or just need someone to talk to, I am here for you , The The National Suicide Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255. Okay, one with the chapter! Review or PM me to tell me what you think!

WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.

Chapter Three.

Bella's POV:

The first thing I saw when I awoke was my dad's worried eyes. He looked like he had aged years since the last I had seen him.

"Dad?" I croaked out, wincing in pain. My mouth was so dry.

"Thank god, you're awake. I was so worried."

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

"I-I-" Hazy memories zoomed through my head. The knife, the blood. Embry's teary eyes as he pulled me into the truck.

"I had no idea you had gotten this bad. I thought you were just upset about Jake and Leah." At the sound of his name, my chest ached, and I flinched. "We're going to get you the help you need, okay?"

"I'm fine."

"How can you be fine? You tried to kill yourself not once, but twice."

"I was cooking and accidentally cut myself." I was lying through my teeth, I knew that. But the pity in Charlie's eyes was driving me crazy.

"Bells, please."

"I would never hurt myself. Who told you these things?"

"Embry called me in hysterics. He's still in the waiting room." Embry, of course. He was the reason I was still here. The reason I survived again. What kind of sick karma was this?

"Tell him to go home." The room was starting to feel so hot it was suffocating. The heart monitor started to beep faster. The sound was almost deafening, or was that just me?

"No."

"He's lying about me, I don't want to see him."

"He saved your life!" Charlie exclaimed, and without thinking I shot up in my seat.

"I didn't ask him to!" The emotions going through me were turning my head into mush, and I couldn't hold back my feelings any longer. "Everyday is a struggle for me, but no one cares. I sit like a zombie most of the time and wake up screaming almost every night, but you all just think poor Bella, hopeless Bella. When will she get over him? It's been months!"

"Everyone deals with things in their own way," Charlie spoke softly, and I knew he was trying to calm me down, but it was too late now. I felt like I was losing control.

"I'm done with feeling like this! Why do I have to live in this world when it does nothing good for me?"

"We can make it through this together."

"You sure you won't drop me off at my mom's when things get too hard?"

"You need to calm down."

"You didn't raise me, you don't get to tell me what to do!" My voice felt hoarse, and everything was becoming foggy. I could feel another panic attack coming on. "You don't even know me!"

"I do know you, and I love you."

"Bullshit!" The door flew open, and Embry came in flagged by two nurses. His eyes were swollen and red, and he looked like he'd been hit by a truck. The women tried to keep him back, but he was an unmovable force. All at once he pushed through the two women and Charlie before pulling me into his arms.

Before I could fight off his hold, he started to sing.

"When you love someone, yeah, really love someone. Now, I know it's right, from the moment I wake up till deep in the night. There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than holding you tenderly."

I fell slack in his arms and closed my eyes, the anxiety dissipating as he rubbed my back soothingly. That song, his voice; the crossover made every stress I felt disappear.

The nurses and Charlie must have been looking at us like we grew two heads, but I didn't care. If he kept singing, I would never care. All I wanted was for him to keep singing.

I hope he sang to me forever.

Therapy. I would have to go to therapy.

No, I couldn't do that.

Wouldn't.

Nothing could change my mind.

Or so I thought.

"Either you agree to therapy, or I admit you. Your call." Charlie exclaimed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. I had been out of the hospital for a few days, and now he chooses to drop the bomb.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"This isn't fair. I'm completely fine."

"We both know that isn't true." My shoulders sagged, and I looked down at my lap.

"I don't need therapy."

"I can call the hospital to come get you right now. I won't fight you on this." With a sigh, I knew I couldn't say no. I wasn't going to get admitted, anything but that. At least with therapy, I could still be normal. As normal as someone like me could be.

"Okay, fine. I'll go."

"Great! Your first appointment is tomorrow at two."

"You already set up my appointment?"

"I knew you would agree." He stood up and sent me a grin, but I just glared back. I would not enjoy this, this was stupid. I didn't need help, what I needed is to be left alone to finish what I started.

"Like you gave me a choice."

"Hey, I know what will cheer you up."

"And what would that be?"

"A trip to the diner! We can eat whatever you want." He paused for a second, pondering. "As long as its very greasy and fattening."

"Only if you agree to a salad."

"Done and done. Come on, Bells. Let's go get us some grub." He quickly made his way to the door while I took my time slipping on my jacket and shoes. When I was done, he guided me out the door and into his cruiser.

I wasn't allowed to drive myself anywhere anymore, even to school. The bus had become my mode of transportation.

The car ride was long and tedious, and it seemed like forever until we were inside and had ordered our food.

We chatted, joked, and I even started to enjoy myself. Charlie was right, going to the diner had lifted my spirits.

But then the Forks High gang walked in and ruined my good mood.

Embry's POV:

Seth and I had become closer in the last week, probably because he was the only one I had told about Bella. The others would run and tell Jake what had happened, and that was the last thing Bella needed.

We sat in a booth at the back of the diner in Forks, scarfing down a few burgers and talking about things, which was mainly the situation with Bella.

"If you want my opinion, Bella is like a flower. She needs to be planted in some nice dirt, watered regularly, and given some good attention."

"I see."

"You've got all these gardening tools, Embry. You just need to use them."

"As in?"

"Do what you're doing now. Be there for her. That's all you can do." Seth swallowed another bite of his burger and finished off his Coke. "My friend Tammy went through something similar, and after she started going to counseling she got a lot better. It took awhile to find the right meds, though."

"Medication? Do you think that will be necessary?"

"Needing medication doesn't make you any less of a person. A lot of people need it to function."

"Okay, sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that."

"It's okay, broski. I'm just here to educate you."

"I thought I was the older one. When did you get so smart?"

"People think of me as some dumb kid, but I know a lot more than they think." Seth paused for a second to ponder his words. "I think you're the same way. Everyone thinks your just a shy kid, but you're way more than that. A mystery, if you will."

"I guess."

"Hey, isn't that Bella and the Chief over there?" We both turned to look over at the table in the farthest corner. There she was, laughing and smiling like nothing was wrong. If she wasn't so skinny, you would think she was perfectly fine.

I knew better than that, though.

"Should we say hi?"

"Nah," I exclaimed with a shake of my head. "Let her have her time with her dad. We can say bye on our way out."

"Good plan." We talked a little longer, ordering a few more burgers and drinking a lot more soda. We were just about to get our check and leave when all hell started to break loose.

Bella ran from her seat and outside the restaurant. Most people didn't turn a blind eye, not caring about the drama, but I could tell she was crying. She was hurting.

Two girls at the table beside them giggled quietly to themselves. I closed my eyes and zoned in on their conversation, wondering if it had anything to do with Bella.

"Did you see how fast she ran out of there? Wow, so crazy."

"She needs to take a chill pill and come back down to earth. She's so dramatic."

"No wonder Edward dumped her, I couldn't deal with someone so annoying."

I stood up so fast my cup almost fell on the floor, but Seth caught it. We met eyes and he nodded in understanding.

I found Bella beside the cruiser wiping her eyes and talking to herself.

"So stupid, so stupid. Why are you so weird?" She started crying harder. "No wonder everyone leaves you, you're so annoying."

"Bella." She jumped in surprise and turned to me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Seth and I were getting lunch. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

"Just leave it alone. I'm fine." Bella turned away from me, but I took initiative and pulled her into my arms. "Embry."

"I already told you I would be here for you. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me."

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" She whispered curtly but wrapped her small arms around me tightly. I leaned my forehead against her shoulder, breathing in her strawberry shampoo.

"Nowhere is better than here, babe." We stayed like that until Charlie came out from the bathroom, paid the bill, and met us at the car. Seth was with him, smiling like the cat who caught the canary.

"Would you boys want to go bowling with us tonight? I was going to surprise Bella after we ate, but you both can come to."

"That'd be great, thank you," Seth exclaimed happily, but Bella froze.

"Bowling?" She sputtered pathetically from my arms, but I just laughed and hugged her tighter.

"Don't you like bowling?"

"I suck at it."

"What was your best score?"

"Thirty." She whispered before hiding her face in my chest. I couldn't help but laugh at her bashfulness.

"Don't worry, I'm not much better."

"Really?" As Bella looked up at me with her wide chocolate eyes, I couldn't take back my lie.

"Yes, really."

"Then we can lose together."

"Either way, I'm beating all of you," Seth exclaimed loudly as we all got into the cruiser, and Charlie laughed loudly.

"Whatever you say, kid." We took off down the road, and Bella cuddled closer to me in the backseat. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I looked down at her sweet face, wondering how I had gotten so lucky.

How could one person be so damn cute?

"You said you weren't much better!" Bella bit out as I hit another strike, but I just grinned back at her.

"I'm not."

"This is your fourth strike!"

"Must be my lucky day, I guess."

"Ugh, you're such a liar. I'm never trusting you again."

"It's not my fault that I'm lucky!"

"I'm ignoring you now, liar." I couldn't help but smile as I sat down next to her, taking in her annoyed expression. She was trying so hard to be angry, but a smile kept peeking through.

"You're so cute, Bella." In shock, she looked up at me with wide eyes and her face flushed. But then her face looked downcast. "What did I say?"

"That was the last thing you said to me before I hurt myself." Realization hit me like a truck, and I started to flounder.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

Great job, Embry. Way to ruin a great night.

As I started to sweat, she laced her fingers between mine. I looked over at her in confusion.

"Call me cute again."

"You're cute."

"Really?"

"Yes. Very cute."

Bella opened her mouth to speak again, but the Chief cut her off with a cough. "If you both are done flirting, it's your turn, Bells."

"Oh! Sorry." As soon as her hand was in mine, it was gone. Gone with the wind, like my mother's favorite movie. I looked dejectedly at my hand, almost wishing I could go back in time to a few seconds ago.

But I changed my mind as soon as Bella threw her ball, and it immediately rolled into the gutter. Seth covered his mouth to hold in his laughter, while Charlie cheered her own.

"You'll get 'em next time!" Bella just glared at us as she tried again, this time surprising us all and hitting a strike. We all looked at her slack-jawed, and all at once she jumped into my arms.

"Embry, I got a strike!"

"I saw!"

"I can't believe it! I did it!"

"You did so well, pumpkin." She wrapped her arms around me and giggled into my neck. Her hot breath made me swallow and I had to think of my Old Quil in a bathing suit just to keep little Embry down.

"You're so cheesy."

"Only for you."

"Well, Seth, you won the game. I guess you can choose where we go for dinner."

"Let's go to Pizza Hut. I'd kill for a nice slice of pizza right now."

"Pizza it is then. Bells, that good with you?"

"Yes, sounds perfect." She looked over at me, and I swear I almost died. Her face was so happy, happier than she had been in months. My heart was melting at the sight.

"Yeah, perfect," I whispered, looking into her eyes. She just giggled before getting off me and standing up. Bella held out her hand for me.

I took it without hesitating.

I probably always would, if it was her.

But only because it was her. Because it was Bella.

I would do anything for Bella now, I had come to realize.

Those pouty lips, those big brown eyes, that sweet girl.

Jacob may have let her go, but it was more for me.

More for me to love, more for me to cherish.

If she'd let me.

Bella's POV:

"May I help you?"

"I'm here for my appointment with Dr. Garrity."

"Name?"

"Isabella Swan."

"Ah, two-o-clock. Here, fill out this form. She'll be ready for you in a few minutes."

"Okay, thank you." I hated paperwork. Because I was so clumsy, I was always filling this stuff out. But this was a bit different.

Do you have feelings of hopelessness?

Check.

Do you see things that aren't there?

My mind thought back to when I used to see him, especially while doing dangerous activities.

Check.

Have you ever self-harmed?

I looked down at my scarred wrist with a frown.

Check.

I finished the rest of the paperwork quickly and handed it back to the receptionist just in time to be called back. Dr. Garrity was a curvy brunette who had a loving smile and bright blue eyes. She reminded me a bit of my mother, except for the flighty part.

"Isabella, it's so nice to meet you."

"It's Bella."

"So, Bella. How are you?"

"Fine."

"You're a senior at Forks High, right? How is that?"

"It's good."

"This session is will just be us getting to know each other. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, okay? And I won't tell anyone your secrets unless it endangers you or others."

"Okay."

"So, do you have any friends?"

"A few."

"Who are they?"

"I have a friend named Angela, she's really nice. Then there's Embry." I couldn't fight the blush that appeared on my cheeks at the thought of him. What was wrong with me?

"Who is Embry?"

"He's two years younger than me, but we're hanging out a lot now. He calls me cute."

"He does?"

"Yeah. And he sings to me."

"What does he sing?"

"Do you know the band Foreigner?"

"Of course, they're one of my favorites."

"Their song Waiting For A Girl Like You. My mom used to sing it to me when I was little. Whenever I started to freak out, he starts to sing that song."

"Does it help?"

"It's the only thing that keeps me calm."

"How did you meet this Embry?"

"I was hanging out with-" Jacob, you were hanging out with Jacob, I thought to myself. "Someone else and he's one of his best friends."

"Who is this someone else?" Dr. Garrity prodded, but the wall came up anyway. I wasn't ready to talk about that yet.

"No one special."

She wrote something down in her notebook before asking out of the blue. "Do you think Embry is cute?"

"What?"

"Is he a nice looking young man?" She teased.

"Yeah, I guess."

"What makes him cute?"

"His smile or his eyes maybe. He always seems like he cares about me."

"Its good that he cares for you, Bella."

"It is good, isn't it?" I felt a smile growing on my lips, and Dr. Garrity returned it.

"Yes, it is. Oh, your session is coming to an end for today. How about the same time next week?"

"We're done already? That only seemed like a few minutes."

"The first session is shorter than the rest. Next time you will be in here a full hour, but this was only a half an hour."

"Oh, I see."

"Same time next week?"

"Yes."

We left her office and said our goodbyes as I made my next appointment with the receptionist.

I felt better when I stepped out into the chilly air, breathing deeply. The air engulfed my lungs and made me feel alive.

That wasn't so hard to talk to someone. I opened up a little. Mostly about Embry, but still.

And speaking of Embry, he stood against my truck lazily, arms over his chest. He grinned at me as I walked closer. How was he so cute?

My thoughts stopped me dead in my tracks.

Cute, what? No. I shook my head before starting towards him again.

Bells, you're crazy. You just need to get your head back on straight.

"How was it?"

"It was good."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm going back next week."

"That's great. I'm so proud of you." He pulled me into a hug, and without thinking I hugged him back. I breathed in his foresty smell, relaxing instantly.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, cutie." I fought the urge to giggle and hid my face in his chest. He thought I was cute, it made me want to squeal like a school girl. Little did he know that I thought that he was cute too.