A/N: Wow, already to chapter four! I'm so happy that you all are enjoying this story, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. If you have any questions or comments, PM me or review and tell me what you think! Okay, onto the next chapter. Happy reading!

WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.

Chapter Four.

The final bell of the day rang through the school, and I slowly got my stuff together. Angela, ever the sweetheart, waited patiently for me after class to walk me to my locker.

"Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?"

"That sounds like fun, Angie."

"Great! I feel like we haven't hung out in so long. I miss you, girl."

"I miss you too. I'm sorry I've been so antisocial lately."

"You were going through things, it's okay. I went through my own heartbreak too."

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't I tell you? Ben broke up with me. I was sad, but then some things started to make sense, and I moved on."

"Oh gosh, I had no idea. I'm sorry for not being there for you."

"Its okay, if you had known you would have." Sadly, past me probably wouldn't have been. But I could change that now, I could be the type of friend she deserved. Just like she was for me. "Ah, I'm going to be late for work if I don't hurry. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Bye, Angie." She quickly headed out, and I got my things together.

When I got outside, I could see Embry playing a Gameboy in the front seat, brow scrunched in concentration.

So cute.

I shook my head again in agitation before quickly getting into the truck and slamming the door shut.

"You staying for dinner?"

"Of course."

"Won't your parents be worried?" He shut off his game and shook his head, not meeting my eye.

"Nah." He pulled the car out of its parking spot and headed back to my house. There was a tense silence that filled the car, but I couldn't understand why. Was it something I said?

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering."

By the time we made it home, Embry's brow had become permanently furrowed and he stalked into the kitchen without a glance back. I followed him, unsure of why he was acting this way.

"Are you staying again?"

"Probably."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Bella."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying to you."

"But you aren't telling me the truth either." He sighed and looked down at me. I couldn't read his expression, it was unnerving.

"I don't want to bother you with my problems."

"I bother you with mine all the time."

"That's different."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is.

"No, it isn't."

He sighed and gave me a dejected look. "Fine, you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"My mom and I don't have the best relationship."

"Oh... Why is that?"

"She thinks I've become a hooligan or something." His shoulders sagged and he turned away. "You know, because of the rumors about Sam's so-called gang."

"But you're not. Doesn't she know you're out there all the time keeping the reservation safe?"

"No, she doesn't."

"What, why not?"

"She isn't Quileute. It isn't her secret to know."

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah. She kicks me out a lot for sneaking out and being secretive, but I understand. I'd probably do the same thing." We stood there in silence for a while until I got a bit of courage. Nervously, I pulled him into a hug, burying my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"Still, I wish I could make it better for you."

"You already are by existing."

"So cheesy. You're going to turn into a slice of cheddar one of these days."

"Speaking of cheddar, want to have dinner at the diner? I'm craving their grilled cheese."

"That sounds good."

"Charlie told me to only let you have the tasty stuff, so none of those salads you love so much." I looked up at him and pouted, but he just laughed. "Sorry, rules are rules."

"I'll just have pie then."

"Pie for dinner? What has gotten into you, Bella?" He teased before lifting me into his arms. My eyes widened as he carried me to the living room and sat down on the couch, rubbing my back.

"You know me, I love to live life on the wild side."

"My little rebel." My face felt hot, and I bit my lip nervously. This was all getting too weird; no, not weird. Too hot. You could cut the tension with a knife.

His large hand cupped my cheek, and I leaned into his warm touch.

"Have I told you how cute you are today?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, you're cute. So cute in fact, that I might just have to kiss you." My eyes widened in shock. Was he serious?

"W-what?"

"Ah, so adorable." He leaned forward until our foreheads were touching, and the air died in my throat. "Do you want me to?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want me to kiss you?" I could almost taste the hot breath of his mouth, and my brain was becoming foggy. He rubbed his nose against mine, and I sighed.

"I-" Did I?

So much had happened between us already. We hugged and held hands regularly now. From the course of our relationship, it was only a matter of time. But did I want to?

"Bella." He was so close I could almost taste his lips. Just a little closer, closer, closer…

I pulled away from him with a cough, feeling embarrassed. This was so stupid, what was I doing? He was obviously just joking around, he didn't want to kiss me at all.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did I take it too far?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I should be the one apologizing, I'm the one who pushed you."

"Of course, you didn't want to kiss me, I wouldn't want to kiss me either." I looked down at my lap and fiddled with the end of my shirt. "I've only ever kissed one boy, so I'm probably not very good at it."

"What are you talking about? Of course, I want to kiss you. I really do."

"What, you do? You weren't joking?"

"Of course not, baby. I'd never joke about that." Embry pulled me forward again we were back in our old position. "The question is, do you want to kiss me?"

"I-I do."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

And then he kissed me. I never imagined a pair of lips could be so soft and warm, but his were. We kissed for what felt like a lifetime, but it seemed like only a few seconds had passed in the real world.

Embry looked up at me with his deep, dark eyes and I shuddered.

"God, I've been wanting to do that since the day I met you."

"You have?"

"Yes, but Jake liked you, so I could only fantasize." The sound of his name hurt less, especially when I was close to Embry. He seemed to soothe me in that way. "But look at me now, I can kiss this beautiful girl whenever I want."

"You're so cheesy."

"If you think that's cheesy, just listen to this." He swallowed, and his cheeks filled with blush. "My crush on you makes me crumble like feta."

"I can't believe I had to witness that."

"Here's another one. If you get with me, I can promise you more than a gouda time."

"Stop, my ears are burning," I exclaimed, but I couldn't mask the giggles that escaped my lips.

"Bella, you're the Colby to my Monterey Jack."

"Just kiss me again so I don't have to go through this torture anymore, please."

"Well, only because you're begging me to." Embry teased before pulling my lips down to his again, and we both lost ourselves in each other.

Maybe this was the start of the new beginning, or maybe this would all end in tragedy. Either way, at least I got to kiss this beautiful man for a short while.

I lay in bed that night looking up at the dark ceiling, my thoughts a disarray.

What was going on between Embry and I? Were we just fooling around, or was this becoming something serious? I was hoping for the latter, but you never know with teenage boys.

I thought I had one thing with Edward, but then he turns around and leaves me with nothing.

I thought Jacob and I were going to finally start a relationship together, but then he meets Leah. He forgot all about me and went to her.

What if Embry imprinted? Would he try to fight it, or soak it in like sunshine just as Jacob did?

Would I ever get my happily ever after, or be destined for a life of letdowns that I was growing accustomed to?

Absentmindedly, I dug my nails into my skin for the faint relief they used to give me. The pain was immediate, as was the euphoria. For a few moments, it was as if Jacob never found Leah, and Edward never left. It was almost like I was back in Phoenix with my mother, planning her and Phil's wedding.

I was at a place and time before everything turned to mush.

In annoyance, I rolled over onto my side and looked at the dark bundle of blankets on the floor. Embry had decided to stay again, he had stayed almost every night since he found me on the cliff.

That seemed so long ago now, even though it had only been about a week ago.

Were we going too fast?

Maybe we should slow down.

But doesn't the saying go, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade?

I gave one last glance at the brute on the floor before rolling over again and covering myself up with my blankets.

Tomorrow, I'd make some lemonade. For my sake, at least.

"So, Isabella-" Pastor Weber asked curtly, but I cut him off.

"It's Bella."

"Bella, your father is Chief Swan, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"How are you in school?"

"I'm an A student."

"Very good, very good." He set his silverware down, and I swear I heard Angela take in a breath. "How does your father feel about you've been doing?"

"What?"

"My wife's friend works as a receptionist where you go for therapy. She has told us some things about you that I am curious about."

"Dad, are you serious right now?"

"Pumpkin, daddy is speaking." He shot Angela a knowing look, and she almost crumbled beside me. "Bella, how long have you been suicidal?"

"Excuse me?" I suddenly lost my appetite. The room was closing in, and everything was hot. I'm sure I was as red as a tomato.

"Your file said that you have attempted not once, but twice. Now, why is that? You're a beautiful girl with a bright future ahead of you. Why snuff it out?"

How dare he ask about my personal life like this. I come to have a nice dinner and meet Angela's parents formally, yet I am berated where I sit. It wasn't my fault I was like this, that I felt this way.

I didn't ask to be born like this.

"I-" I was about to speak, but he cut me off again. Angela's brothers looked down at their plate in embarrassment, and I didn't blame them.

"I know that Dr. Cullen's son and you were getting to be very serious, but it isn't the end of the world."

"I know that, sir-"

"Everyone gets sad sometimes, Isabella. I did a funeral yesterday and I am still grieving, but you don't see me hurting myself."

"You don't suffer from a mental illness, sir. I don't think you could possibly understand what I am dealing with."

"You're a teenage girl, what do you have to be upset about?"

"Thomas-" Mrs. Weber warned from her seat, eyes becoming hard.

"What? I'm merely asking a question, dear. I have no idea why anyone would do that to themselves. Your body is a temple, the Lord says. And those scars will always be there, and she'll have that stigma for the rest of her life-"

I was just about to get up and leave the room when Angela, wide-eyed and bursting out of her seat, blurted. "I'm gay!"

Everyone was suddenly silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop on the other side of the house. I looked over at Angela with wide eyes, but she was too busy glaring at her father. Mrs. Weber and the twins didn't look surprised in the slightest and continued to pick at their plates.

"W-what?" His voice was almost a whisper.

"I'm gay."

"But you're dating Ben!"

"We broke up." Her dad ran a hand through his hair.

"This is just great."

"Dad, it isn't a big deal."

"I'm going down to my study. If you'll excuse me." Without another glance, he left his chair and exited the room.

Everyone started eating again as if nothing happened, but I felt sick to my stomach. I turned to look at Angela in confusion, but she just gave me a small smile before turning back to her dish. Dinner finished quickly after that, and I called Embry to come pick me up.

"Thanks for coming to dinner, Bella," Angela exclaimed as we sat on her porch steps, waiting for my ride.

"I'm sorry about your dad."

"No, I'm sorry, I had no idea he'd be so rude."

A silence sat in for a few minutes into I asked. "So you're..."

"Gay? Yeah, I am." Her eyes suddenly turned sad, and she frowned. "I'd understand if you didn't want to be friends anymore."

"What? No! Why wouldn't I want to be friends with you?"

"Because I'm…"

"That doesn't matter. Everyone should be able to love someone. My mom dated a girl for awhile before meeting my stepdad."

"Really? That's pretty cool."

"Yeah, I really liked her."

"So, you really don't care?"

"Not at all. Love is love."

"Thank you for accepting me, Bella." She pulled me into a tight hug, and I hugged her back just as tight.

"Anything for my best friend." We stayed like that until Embry pulled up in my truck. Once we parted, we said our quick goodbyes and I hopped into my truck.

Tonight hadn't gone as planned, but somehow it had turned out better than I hoped. Angela and I solidified our friendship, and that was all that mattered.

I was just about to tell Embry about my night when I took in his haggard expression. His left eye was heavily bruised, and his eyebrow was cut and bleeding. He was healing fast, but it still looked horrible.

"Oh, my gosh, what happened to you?"

"My mom." He started driving down the road, hands tight on the steering wheel.

"What, your mom did this?"

"I went back home for some clothes, but she got off work and caught me there. We got into an argument and she hit me." He cursed as I tried to touch his blackeye, furrowing his brow at me. "It isn't as bad as it looks."

"It was probably worse before you started healing."

"What do you want me to say? I can't do anything about it."

"I know, I'm just worried-"

"Well, don't. That's my job." Embry snipped out angrily, and I snapped my mouth shut and turned to look out the window. I could tell he was hurt and angry, but I didn't know how else to help except to leave him to cool down.

We drove in silence until we got to my house, and I went to open the door to go on ahead of him.

"Baby, wait." I paused and turned to look at him, and all at once he pulled me into his lap. We stared at each other, his dark eyes looking deep into mine. "I'm being a complete jerk, aren't I?"

"Well, you aren't exactly being nice…" I trailed off, and he sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm taking my anger out on you, and that shouldn't be allowed ever." His lips brushed my mine, and for a second, I lost myself in his taste. I don't think I'd ever get tired of it. "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive."

"Only if you kiss me again."

"I don't know… A kiss doesn't seem like enough payment."

"Then kiss me a hundred times."

"A hundred…"

"Fine, a thousand!"

He laughed loudly before speaking again, and I couldn't help but smile back. "I was going to say a hundred is fine, but I guess a thousand kisses it is." His lips were so soft on mine it was unreal, and I was in heaven.

When we were kissing, it almost seemed like everything would be okay. I could get better, be happy even. His kisses were the hope I needed to be better.

He nipped at my bottom lip and I couldn't hold in the moan that came out, and thankfully he didn't stop kissing me.

I hoped that he never stopped kissing me like this.