WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.

Chapter Eight.

Bella's POV:

We sat around the table, just staring at each other. I had a million thoughts running through but my head, but every time I went to speak my mind would go blank.

"I-I've gathered you both here today because my therapist said that I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it, Bells?"

"If I'm not comfortable with something, I don't have to do it." I took in a deep breath and shut my eyes. "I don't want to press charges." My chest felt so tight and everything around me was overwhelming.

"Bella, we need to-" I smacked my hands against the table and his words cut off immediately.

"No! I won't, I don't want to. I'm not comfortable doing that. It will not further my happiness." Taking a deep breath, I finally opened my eyes again to see Embry and Charlie's expressions. Charlie's was shock, while Embry looked enthused.

With a swallow of Coffee and a few minutes of silence, Charlie finally agreed. "Okay, we won't."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Angela's friend Riley is having a small get together on Friday night and I was invited. Do you mind if I go?"

"Have at it. I'm just happy you're spending time with your friends again."

"That's a weight off my shoulders then. If you'll excuse us, I told Embry I'd help him with his geometry homework."

"But I don't even have-"

"Yes, very important geometry homework." I threatened, and he zipped his lips before letting my drag him upstairs.

Dad just sighed and shook at our retreating forms. "Kids, what can you do?"

The next morning, I sat at the breakfast table with a plate of toasted pop tarts and the journal in front of me. Embry was in the middle of chowing down three packs of pop tarts and a large glass of milk. Dad had left for work before we had woken up, which was fine to me. The fewer people distracting me, the better.

"What does she want you to write in it, anyway?" He asked with a mouthful of food and I wrinkled my nose at him.

"Anything really. How I feel, what I did, cool things I find."

"I guess you'll be writing about me, then. I wouldn't blame you."

"Shut up, cheesehead. You're distracting me."

"Who you calling a cheesehead? Last night you were pretty cheesy yourself."

"That never happened!"

"Need I remind you of how beautiful you said I was when you were kissing on my neck, baby?" Embry teased, and I bite my lip as my cheeks flushed red.

"You're so distracting."

"You love it."

I did, I really did. But that didn't matter right now.

Shaking my head, I went back to the task at hand and picked up the pen before starting to write a few random lines.

Dear Whoever it may concern,

My therapist has given me this journal to write in my thoughts and feelings. I'm not very good at that. Maybe it was a mistake to accept the gift?

With a sigh of defeat, I threw the pen and lay my head in my hands.

"Come on, it can't be that difficult."

"I don't know what to write or even how much I have to write."

"Just take it slow. Write a little bit and then every day you can try to add a little more." Embry leaned over and kissed my forehead before taking my face in his hands. "Don't stress too much. This is just something to help you open up about what you're feeling."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, sweetheart." He pressed a kiss to my lips before pulling back and standing up from the table. After washing his plate, he made his way upstairs to get ready for school.

I took in another deep breath before picking up my pen and attempting to write something down in the journal.

I hope he's right about this, I thought to myself, but I had a good feeling that he was.

Embry's POV:

I had never been so bored in my life. Bella and I sat in the basement of the famous Riley Winters on Friday night, watching as Angela Weber and some nerdy guy play video games. I think his name was Erin?

Or was it Eric?

Honestly, I didn't care at all. This night had gotten progressively worse as it continued, and Bella and Riley had barely spoken to each other without two mean girls butting in. And speaking of mean girls, we were dealing with one of them right now.

"So, Bella…" Jessica Stanley trailed off as she faced her on the couch, legs criss-cross applesauce and hands holding her ankles. "Who's this?"

"Embry Call, he's a friend of Jake's."

"Nice to meet you, Embry. You're very…" She gave me a look over and bit her lip. "Damn."

"Thanks?"

"Hey, I think Mike is calling for you. Said something about running out of onion dip?" Angela cut in with a grin, and immediately Jessica jumped up and up the basement stairs.

"Damn him, I knew we should have brought more!"

"Thanks for being our savior, Angela. We owe you." Bella exclaimed before leaning into my chest with a relaxed smile. Angela just brushed her hair back and waved us off.

"No problem, that conversation was going downhill before it even started." Her eyes turned back to Mario Kart with a determined look.

"No doubt. I can't believe she was hitting on your boyfriend right in front of you, B. If it had been the other way around, all hell would break loose."

"Oh, he's not my-" She tried to cut in, but they had already been sucked into the game again. "Why do I even try?"

"It's okay, baby." I rubbed her shoulder with the arm I had around her and kissed her forehead. At my movement, the infamous Lauren Mallory gawked and left her group at the pool table to come sit next to us.

I smell trouble afoot.

"Emby, hey. Didn't expect to see you here." She had a can of beer in her hands, and her words were already slurring. "How's Pauly doing?"

"He's fine, I guess."

"He still hasn't called me back… I don't know why I was the best he ever had!" Bella and I exchanged glances. "I don't even care, anyway. I have Ty-Ty and he's way better."

Bella leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Somehow I doubt that."

"Hey, Swan! What are you guys whispering to each other!" Lauren spat before chugging the rest of her beer. Crushing it in her hand, she threw it towards the trash can and it made it in. "You're so fucking fake, and everyone knows it."

"Lauren, seriously?" Angela paused the game and turned towards her friend with a look of disappointment, but Lauren just waved her off with a flick of her wrist.

"Stay out of this, lesbian. We know you're in love with Bella and all that, so you don't need to tell us twice."

Immediately Angela's face turned to stone, and she stood up and flew up the stairs. Lauren giggled as the boy, Erin or Eric, followed her.

From across the room Riley took in the scene and followed the other two up the stairs with worried eyes. The rest of the partygoers ignored the drama.

Bella's body tensed and when I looked down, I swear my dick twitched in my pants at the sight of her.

She was so angry, angrier than I had ever seen her. With her wide eyes narrowed into slits, she sat up on my lap and faced Lauren head on.

"Just because you're jealous of others, doesn't mean you can talk crap about them. I'm sorry that your life is so horrible that you need to put down others to feel better about yourself, but I swear if you ever mess with my friend again I'll beat your ass faster than you can blink." The words left her mouth so fast, she even seemed shocked.

Lauren blinked for a second before her fishy green eyes became aflame. "How dare you talk to me like that-"

"Why don't you do us both a favor and go back to playing pool before I do something I regret." They stared at each other for a few more seconds, and I was seriously considering what would happen if Bella got in a fight in this basement of someone's else's home whom she had never met, and then Lauren slowly stood up and walked back over to the pool table without a word.

Bella breathed in deeply through her nose and rubbed a hand over her face as if it would relieve her stress.

"You really bit into her, baby."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't be, it seems like she had it coming, anyway." I leaned over and whispered lowly in her ear. "And you looked so beautiful snapping at her like that."

"Embry…" She whined and tried to cover her blushing face, but I pulled her hands away and pressed a kiss to her pouty lips.

"You know, we don't have to stay here."

"Are you implying that we ditch?"

"Angela and Riley already did. It's not even a party anymore, just a contest on who can make Bella cry first." Bella raised an eyebrow at me, so I grabbed her hand and gave her my best puppy dog eyes. "Come on, they won't even miss us. Let's go back to yours and order a pizza and gossip all night."

"Okay, but only because you're so cute."

"That's my girl." The others were too preoccupied with each other to notice much else, so we quickly stood up and slipped out the door.

Once we were back inside the truck, I trapped against the truck door and kissed her until she was breathless.

"What was that for?"

"For just being you."

We drove by Caesar's and picked up a hot and ready pepperoni before arriving back home. Charlie was working late and wouldn't be home for dinner, so we snuck it upstairs.

While on her second slice, Bella looked at me and asked, "So, I've been thinking long and hard about this."

"That's what she said." She gave me a pointed look. "Sorry, sorry."

"Anyway, I've noticed that we've never really taken the time to know each other. I barely know anything about you, Embry." Her empty hand grabbed mine. "But I want to."

"W-what do you want to know?"

"Favorite color, food, animal, number, band, song, movie, actors-"

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down. One question at a time." She was growing redder by the second. "But if you must know: green, hamburgers and grilled cheese, a tiger, seven, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Turn Me Loose by Loverboy, Ghostbusters, and Bill Murray and Ellen Page."

"Do you want me to tell you mine?"

"I'd be insulted if you didn't."

"Okay." She smiled, and it reached her eyes. "I don't really have a favorite color but I like brown, pizza, I guess guinea pigs, eighty-seven, Linkin Park, Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison, the nineteen-sixty-eight version of Romeo and Juliet, and Anne Hathaway."

"What are your hobbies?" I inquired before shoving a piece of pizza in my mouth.

"Reading, cooking, doodling. In all honesty, I don't do much." She thought for a second before a light bulb went off. "Oh! I like to travel."

"Where do you like to travel?"

"Hey! It's my turn to ask you something."

"Sorry, sorry."

"What are your hobbies?"

"Uhm, well, I enjoy swimming, surfing, listening to music, playing games, fishing, riding dirt bikes, and fixing cars."

"You have so many." She said in awed amazement, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her.

"Hey, it's okay that you don't have that many hobbies. It will give us something to do together. I'll help you find things you like."

"Maybe we could start tomorrow?"

"Sounds like a plan, man." Bella's face suddenly turned sad. As my mood started to sour, I felt like I was getting whiplash. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I should have checked on Angela before I left."

"Baby, don't worry about it. She had already left by the time we did, anyway."

"What, how do you know?"

"Sensitive hearing." Her smile quickly returned, and I finished the rest of my pizza slice. "Speaking of wolf hearing, I have to patrol soon."

"Nine, right?"

"Mhm. I'll be back at three."

"Are you going to tell Paul about Lauren asking about him."

"Yeah, but he probably won't care. Its been over a year since they hooked up. Not sure why she's still stuck up on it."

"I understand where she's coming from, I guess. When someone touches your heart a certain way, its hard to move on from it." Absentmindedly she pressed a hand to her chest and took in a shaky breath. I watched her with sad eyes, suddenly feeling helpless. When she looked back at me again, a small smile graced her pretty face and eased some of my worries. "But it's not impossible to move forward."

"Do you want to talk about him?"

"Which one?"

"Edward." A tortured look crossed her features. "We don't have to, but I know it isn't good to hold it inside." When she didn't answer, I continued to ramble. "I'm sorry, I probably just ruined your good mood and I-"

"It's okay. It would be nice to talk about it with someone."

"How did you meet him?"

"During my first day at school, he caught my eye. He was so beautiful. We ended up having Biology together, but for some reason, he acted very rude towards me and tried to ignore me." Her voice took on a sad tone. "I hadn't known it at the time, but he was trying not to kill me."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes a vampire meets a human whose blood smells better than anything they've ever tasted. They call them their singers. Most don't make it out alive." Bella took in a shaky breath. "I guess I'm lucky, right? I survived…" I went to reach for her hand, but she pulled away from me. "Sometimes I wish he would have gone through with it. At least I wouldn't have had to deal with this pain."

"Where would I be if you had been sucked dry? Bella, you're one of the best things to happen to me."

"You don't mean that."

"I do."

"Why? I'm not important. I don't make an impact."

"Now you know that isn't true. If you weren't around, I'd still be in that house." I pulled her into my lap and kissed the top of her head. "You saved me, Bella, in more ways than one."

"The only reason you're here is because you feel bad for me."

"That's not true."

"If you didn't catch me on that cliff, none of this would exist."

"How do you think I found out where you were? I went to your house first."

"W-what?"

"I was coming over anyway to spend time with you."

"You're lying."

"I'm not. I really did come over to see you." A blush covered his face and he scratched the back off his neck awkwardly. "Honestly, I thought I might be able to ask you on a date…"

"A date? With me?"

"Stupid, huh? I know, I wouldn't want to go on a date with me either." I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

"No! I just don't understand why you would want to go on a date with me."

"Have you ever seen yourself before?"

"Well yeah, I own a mirror."

"No, I mean have you really seen yourself? Like really looked?"

"There's not much to see. I'm just plain ole Bella."

"You're much more than that, baby. And I'm going to do everything in my power to help you see your true self." I pulled her into a kiss that soon turned wild. The pizza was forgotten, and I pulled her into my arms.

This was heaven, I thought, in her arms, I feel at peace.

Bella's POV:

The weekend came and went, and Monday afternoon Angela and I sat at a table at McDonald's in Port Angeles, picking at our food. We still hadn't talked much since the party, and Angela looked like the weight of the world sat on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry-"

"Lauren was such a-"

They both stopped speaking and burst into giggles, the tense air dissipating.

"You can go first." She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for leaving game night."

"It's okay. I'm sorry you had to deal with them all night."

"It wasn't that bad. I was more worried about you, though."

"Everyone knows now… Should have expected as much. Lauren has a huge mouth with secrets."

"Is everyone okay with it?"

"Yeah, except her. She keeps making tasteless jokes and offhand comments about it." She took a sip of her Coke. "I don't know what her problem is."

"Maybe she just needs some time?"

"I doubt it…"

"Well, either way, I have your back. I'll even be your wing girl and help you find a classy lady." Angela let out a giggle and shook her head at me.

"Thank you, Bella. I'm glad I have a friend like you."

"A best friend like me." I teased, and she laughed again.

"Of course, of course. A best friend like you." Another silence ensued and we both finished our food before leaving the restaurant. When we were sitting in her car, (the kind of car), she started talking.

"All drama aside, my dad's been coming around."

"Really?"

"Yes. He said he doesn't really get it, but we're all God's children and he has no right to judge me."

"That was big of him."

"I know. My mom has known for a while. Since before Ben and I broke up."

"How did you figure it out, anyway?"

"I was staying at Jessica's house a few months ago and we snuck a bottle of her mother's Smirnoff. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing." She bit her lip nervously and without thinking I grabbed her hand and squeezed to give her some strength. She smiled in thanks before continuing. "I had never felt that way with Ben. It was nice, of course, but nothing magical. Kissing Jessica was like drinking a nice glass of ice water after being in the desert for a week."

"Damn."

"I know. Sounds crazy, huh?"

"Not at all." The car fell into a comfortable silence as Angela's mind filled with thoughts and mine was empty of them. I watched as the world passed by.

It seemed like a blink of an eye that we made it back to my house, and with determination, I turned to Angela.

"I'm sorry for not being a good friend. I'm going to try a lot harder now to be there for you. If Lauren messes with you, let me know. I'll beat her ass."

Angela's eyes widened at my words and then fell into belly aching laughter. I couldn't help but follow suit.

"Bella, oh my gosh! You just-"

"I know!" After a few more minutes we finally calmed down and she pulled me into a tight hug. I returned it gratefully.

"Thank you, Bella. I love you."

"Love you too, Angie." We stayed like that for a while before saying our goodbyes. I waved as her car disappeared down the road and then entered the empty house. Embry was in La Push and then he had patrol duties. He probably wouldn't be back until three.

I sighed before going upstairs and sitting at my desk. The journal sat in front of me and I held a pen in my hand.

Dear Whoever it may concern,

After school, I spent time with my best friend, Angela Weber. She's the sweetest and kindest soul I know. I'm going to help her get a girlfriend.

Embry's POV:

"Where are the peanut butter cookies I was promised? I had plans with this sexy senior and now my plans are for not." Quil drawled out from his spot on the couch. I rolled my eyes before turning towards Seth, who was pulling his long hair into a bun. He was the only one to keep his long hair after phasing; even Leah had her hair cut to her chin.

"They're in the oven still, you glutton," Emily yelled from the kitchen before appearing with a toddler on her hips. Rebecca Black and her surfer husband had come to visit Billy for a couple weeks, and tonight they had taken him out to dinner in Seattle. Emily had volunteered to babysit their twin boys, Joseph and Solomon. Sully screeched in her arms, while Joey crawled across the floor at hyper speed.

Paul leaned down and grabbed the chunky munchkin before placing him in his lap and blowing raspberries on his cheeks. Not many people knew it, but Paul had a major soft spot for children.

"Why do you think he called us here?" I exclaimed, and Seth shrugged.

"Maybe he found some new leads on the redhead."

"What if Emily's pregnant?" Collin questioned quietly from his seat on the floor, leaning his head on his knees. He had only phased a few days ago and still wasn't comfortable being around so many people.

"Emily's pregnant? Emmy, why didn't you tell me?" Jared questioned as he walked inside, followed by Jacob and Leah.

"Boy or girl?" Paul teased before tickling Joey's stomach. The toddler roared with laughter and tried to push Paul's hands away with his tiny fists, but nothing worked.

"Neither." Sam deadpanned before slumping into the recliner.

"Wow, so progressive, Sam. I didn't know you felt this way about gender roles." His finger's stilled and Joey leaned his head on Paul's broad chest before popping his thumb into his mouth. "What are you going to name them, Alex? They could go by Alexander or Alexandria."

"Shut up, Paul."

"What? I'm just saying."

Leah leaned in to whisper to Jacob. "I'm just surprised that he's so up to date on social issues."

"Hey! If there's a social issue, of course, I'm going to know about it."

"So, is Emily pregnant or not?"

"I'm not pregnant."

"Anyway, I've called you here today, because Jacob and I have been going over some plans."

"Plans for what?"

"Obviously, Sam is sterile, and they need Jacob's swimmers to knock Emily up."

"Do you ever think before speaking, or does dumb shit just fall out of your mouth?"

"Language," Emily warned.

"I can't believe Sam is sterile," Collin whispered, and Sam facepalmed.

"Our alpha, swimmer-less." Quil agreed.

"Why didn't you ask me to get Emily pregnant? I'm a young and strong stud. I mean, look at me." Jared exclaimed before posing.

"What about Kim?"

"She'd support Emmy and I's child."

"Yeah, suuure." I bit my lip to hold in my laughter as Sam facepalmed again.

"Anyway, we've decided to open our own garage."

"What, really?"

"Does that mean we get to work there?"

"How much are we getting paid?"

"Let the man speak, guys." Emily deadpanned with a roll of her eyes.

"To answer your questions, yes, we have, yes it does, and we still have to work out the details on a pay rate."

"Wow, this is so cool. I've never had a job." Collin whispered.

"Well, now you will. Of course, you and Seth won't be going near the actual vehicles."

"That's not fair! Jake's been teaching me all he knows!"

"You're only fourteen, Seth."

"I look way older."

"How many girls do you use that line on?" Leah teased.

"And how many girls turn you down?" Jacob continued. Seth just growled in reply before folding his arms over his chest. I looked over at him and started laughing, trying to cover my mouth to hold in my laughter to no avail. Sam rolled his eyes at us and grunted in agitation.

"I'm a babysitter for a bunch of kindergarteners."

"Hey, kindergarteners are much smarter then Quil!" Paul yelled before letting the squirming toddler in his arms back onto the floor. He took off at lightning speed.

"Shut the fuck up!" Quil barked back.

"Language!" Emily exclaimed from her spot and Quil apologized

The timer on the stove dinged and after depositing Sully into Sam's arms, Emily came back out with the plate of cookies which promptly shut the whole pack up. I looked around at everyone and felt my chest become warm.

This was my friends, my brothers, my pack. My family.

And I'd love them to my dying breath, even if they were idiots most of the time.

I rolled my eyes as Quil choked on a mouthful of cookies and Jared smacked his back relentlessly.

Especially Quil.