He didn't hesitate for a moment to obey the girl's request and activated the sage mode. Although the ability allowed him to come into contact with many other sources of energy around, Naruto focused exclusively on the beautiful woman who accompanied him.
Sage mode wasn't byakugan, but seeing her through the connection to natural energy somehow added a mystic shine to Hinata, making her more beautiful to his eyes, if that was even possible. Now he not only observed her magnificent bearing and grace, but he could read in detail what each of her emotions conveyed: each small action, each minuscule gesture, each heartbeat of her filled him with information. It was like reading her like an open book, and thanks to the kind invitation she made, Naruto was willing to delve into the most intimate depth of those sensations that made Hinata's body and soul react to the concept of love.
He needed to understand, he needed to stop being blind and finally see.
Hinata felt completely intimidated for a few seconds at the depth at which Naruto's sage mode eyes were looking at her. She felt that she had opened for him every corner of her soul, she felt naked, more than naked, in front of that imposing gaze.
She tried to get the courage to start her story, one with which she would allow herself to feel again each step she had lived during all those long years, that journey to developed the almost invincible love for the blonde. She was going to show him the story of her falling in love with him, she was going to share the emotion of each experience, hoping that all this would allow the blonde to finally understand himself and his own emotions.
This would be the last act of love she could do for him, before her fate caught up with her.
He watched her release his arm and take a small distance between them, leaning on the railing that overlooked the lake, not daring to look directly at him. He saw her face up to the sky, her eyes closed, he knew she was trying to calm herself down, he could feel her nervousness, accompanied by an enormous determination to keep going, so he decided to be patient and wait until the girl was ready to face him.
-I…I can't tell that I'm an expert in love Naruto-kun, but I know for sure that I've loved before. Life has blessed me with a father and a sister that I have had the opportunity to love, each in their own way. The love for the family is something that is not born, it exists almost forever. It can suffer, and it can be lost, and although it is always evolving, it is not something that starts little by little to reach its shape, the love for the family is already in its shape, as I am sure that you loved your parents with all your heart even before knowing who they were. At least that's what I think-
Naruto felt a nice warmth as Hinata spoke. He noticed how her words painted pictures of her in his head with scenes from her life. How her joy washed over her at Hanabi's baby smile, the deep respect Hiashi's presence instilled in her, and the desire to gain his approval of her. Hinata remembered the last hug from her mother and Naruto could feel the complete and utter peace of the moment, the security of belonging to the arms that surrounded her, followed by the sadness of having lost her. In that the blond knew he and Hinata were exactly the same. He recognized all that, from the encounters he had had with Kushina and Minato.
-I also had the joy of finding valuable friends, who became a second family to me. I think the love I feel for Kiba, Shino, and Kurenai-sensei is different. That love was built on familiarity, many funny moments, and many terrible ones. It's a love you don't imagine as a child, but as people come into your life you know it's easy to feel, and it expands quickly as you meet new people. That love usually feeds you and helps you love yourself, because these people help you discover yourself. Each one of them becomes a mirror where you usually look at yourself to seek to self improve , and just as they are your support, you are support for them... well, that's how I think friendship works-
Again Naruto perfectly understood her words. He completely assimilated the pleasant sensation the presence of team 8 produced in her, that certainty that being together they could face everything. This made him remember his complicit rivalry with Sasuke, and the confidence Sakura inspired in him to be able to ask her any question or joke. He was surprised to notice that Sakura produced the same sensations in him that Kiba produced in Hinata. They were both aware that their partner was attractive, funny and a very pleasant company, but Hinata understood very well that was not the same as being in love with Kiba, while the blond had taken those slight signs as proof of being hopelessly in love with the pink-haired girl.
What was love then? Luckily for the hero, Hinata continued to speak.
-And then Naruto, there is THAT love. The one that doesn't appear overnight, but when you realize it has you submerged to the depths. It is a small spark that is born from an unexpected moment marking your memory in some way, the memory of that person remains there, coming to visit you from time to time, intrusively, because in reality you did not intend to remember him.-
Hinata kept her eyes closed as Naruto watched a delicate smile appear on her face. He allowed himself to be embraced by the nostalgia that she emitted while she watched a scene where he rescued her from some stalkers, many years ago. Naruto didn't even remember that episode, until now.
-From the spark admiration is born, and you find yourself trying to find out a little more about that person. What is his name? What is the story of him? And the most important thing… how can I see him again?-
And the blonde watched a little girl being pulled over and over again in different scenes, away from the troublesome boy from the village. He felt her despair and sadness as she was reprimanded by the elders of the clan every time she tried to find out about the jinchuriki. He could feel her determination as she recalled an episode in which Ko had promised to go eat Ramen if she beat him in a match and how she had fought fiercely until she had landed several hits on the old man.
Naruto felt her joy when the girl sat in a corner of Ichiraku and saw the blonde enter the restaurant, it was like feeling the happiness he felt when they placed the steaming bowl ready to eat. And he also noticed the enormous desires the girl always had to come over and say hello.
-From admiration arises respect and attraction- she paused and Naruto felt an enormous warmth rising through her body, he watched her cheeks light up again. -Little by little you realize the values that define this person, and many of them become your own values. You support him, you want to see him grow because you notice a potential that others still don't know is there. You believe in that person. You would love to spend all your time by his side, but at the same time everything is so confusing that when he approaches….you run away, or faint in my case, because your heart still doesn't know how to handle the roller coaster that happens inside you.-
And Naruto observed scenes that she had lived next to him, a million fainting because he had decided to get too close or be reckless with some sentences. He felt the dilemma of wanting to hug vs wanting to run away, the fear of rejection and the desire to walk hand in hand. Afraid of being close, afraid of not seeing him anymore. With such a confusion of feelings, the blond completely understood the reason for the fainting and her weird behavior toward him back in that time.
-Already at that point, when every day you need to pronounce his name, when each event brings you a memory of that person, you know you're in love. When trying a new flavor means imagining that person's reaction to trying it. When you know that a beautiful landscape would be even more beautiful if he saw it with you. That's when you know you're in love
More scenes flashed before him, Naruto catching her watching him at the academy. A collection of orange landscapes that filled Hinata's heart with nostalgia because they reminded her of him. The happiness that she felt when he triumphed in his fight against Kiba, despite the fact that she was teammate of the dog boy. When he won the battle against Neji. When he returned as a hero after facing Pain and finally achieved his dream of gaining recognition from the village. At all these moments her emotions were bright, joyful, full of pride and a most pleasant warmth.
-Atraction becomes love through everyday life...every day you see that person again and for some reason it makes you blush. When little by little his life becomes more important than yours, and his happiness a treasure for which you are willing to fight. When you have the conviction to give your life to protect that person, when you allow yourself to dream of holding his hand forever, and especially when you are willing to sacrifice your happiness for him... then you have reached love.
Love is a total surrender, you don't measure how much you receive in return Naruto, in reality you only care about delivering that love in some way, because when it starts to grow you feel like it doesn't fit in your body.-
And there it was, that dreaded scene for Naruto of Hinata jumping between him and Pain. He felt her desperation to save him, because she needed to protect him, to keep him alive... She needed him alive even if she died in that instant. She had to fight with all her strength, for him to have the life and happiness that he so deserved. The fear Hinata was transmitting at that moment was overwhelming, leaving Naruto gasping for breath. But it wasn't fear of the opponent, it was fear of imagining the consequences if she didn't manage to rescue him.
It was the fear of living even one day without him, as if the day suddenly lost its sun, to remain forever in the most pitiful gloom.
-Love, can be difficult sometimes, when you are not reciprocated. Jealousy is a very bitter pill to swallow because it makes you question yourself. You feel inferior to everyone, you feel that you cannot contribute something valuable to that person you adore, as if someone suddenly hung a mountain inside you and the weight crushes you. The most painful thing is at the moment of jealousy, you have no idea what can help you feel better. Getting away from that person seems terrible, but being by his side is wanting to hold on to a rope impregnated with broken glass-
That part of the story was very difficult to assimilate. Naruto watched when he and Sakura first introduced themselves as a couple and he ached at all the desolation Hinata had experienced. He could see the days go by in which she, destroyed, neglecting herself, looked at herself in the mirror with a certain reproach, angry with her hair for not being pink, with her pearly eyes instead of jade. He felt how she was plunged into misery the night she saw them walk to his apartment to spend the night together for the first time, and how she hit bottom after his relationship with Sakura ended and he went from bed to bed but he had never looked for her.
God, how much pain he had caused! For a moment he felt that the oppression in his chest was something unbearable and he thought about cutting the sage mode, but he wanted to feel until the end all the hell that he had put Hinata through.
-Love can be complicated and even more difficult is to forget. Because somehow, even if you cut from the roots almost everything that makes you love that person, it takes the slightest interaction, a little smile, and you see yourself again as wrapped up in feelings as at the beginning.-
He watched as the days passed in Hinata's life, grey, inert. He felt an emptiness that consumed her desire to live, to then give birth to a new determination... to forget forever. But she cursed her luck because every time she clung to the idea, a new mission with the blonde, a meeting, a dinner with friends made them feel that strange familiarity. As if his presence were a sacred manna that filled her next days until she again returned to misery, nonexistence.
Naruto understood if he had considered Hinata an addiction these past days, that didn't compare to the addiction he had caused her all those years.
-Sorry, I don't want you to see the matter so negatively. Especially since love brings with it the greatest satisfaction. Well, again I'm telling you about my experience- Naruto noticed a new color in her cheeks - when you're in the arms of the one you love, it's something inexplicable... you feel faint when he's close, as if your heart wanted to beat out of your chest, but at the same time you dont dare to move because you want him to reach you, you want to be at his mercy. In those moments nothing else matters, you don't see anything else, you don't feel, you don't hear anything else but him-
The blond felt Hinata's scent change again to give way to arousal, and he saw the memories of the first encounters she had with him. Added to Hinata's sensations, his own arousal began to cause him an internal chaos that for a moment seemed alarming and a sign of withdrawal, but he knew perfectly well he would not leave her side, not until she stopped telling her story. history.
Her sensations showed him how erotic their relationship had been for her, how grateful she was to have lived through all that with him, feeling the taste of a dream come true. When the memory focused on the moment when he had penetrated her with his fingers the first time, the feeling enveloped him from head to toe...she gave herself to him, freely, because she felt he belonged to him, her heart belonged only to him , and she wanted to make her body feel the same sensation that her chest harbors years ago.
Whether Naruto touched her or not, didn't change that truth in her. The love she had for Uzumaki Naruto also defined who Hinata Hyuga was, and wherever she was, married to whoever she had to be, she had a vow for Naruto deep inside her. that was her nindo
And the realization came to Naruto like a waterfall on his shoulders.
Because the pulsing sensation that Hinata gave him at that moment, that mixture of powerful desire, together with the fervent determination to protect him... that longing to belong to him and only him, to discover day and night with him, the new flavors , the landscapes…the desire to grow by his side…everything, EVERYTHING!..
It was exactly what Naruto had cultivated inside of his chest for Hinata since the first day he had seen her at the ninja academy.
Because there was the moment of spark, when in class he had asked her for some paper to take a note, and she with a red face, had given him a whole roll of parchment. That moment, random as it could be, remained in his head forever.
The days were filled with a strange light that excited him, when he thought that if he failed a complex jutsu the whole class would laugh at him except for one person, who he always noticed with a kind face, encouraging him from a distance, and that allowed him to feel confident
Because he, in gratitude, had learned what the girl was excited about, in case one day he had to ask her for paper again, and he learned her fondness for flowers and cinnamon rolls.
And when the genin teams were assembled, a part of him wanted to have her on his team and another part felt that he did not want to have a mission with her and see her in danger.
Because every time he had to see her suffer, he fervently swore to teach a lesson to the unfortunate being who dared to touch her.
Because seeing her dead, stabbed by that metal bar, was the one thing able to make Naruto lose his control completely. The way he felt when he saw her dead body was like losing the sun. And just for once Naruto was tempted by hate. "Hate is born from love" Pain had told him... how stupid that even the rival who had known him for 20 minutes had noticed so clearly what he refused to accept.
Because Hinata was right and the confusion of feelings was such that he had decided to look in another direction and shield himself with that. His love for Sakura had served as a front for him for a long time until the doctor got tired of seeing the obvious, and he had to start looking for an insatiable pleasure, all because the longing he felt was the one that only Hinata could offer him: desire, protection and belonging.
Because the pain that Hinata felt when seeing him with Sakura was the same now plagued his nights, imagining her with Ronin, or with that faceless husband she would have in a few days.
HE LOVED HER
With all his soul he loved her since the begining
And he had been an idiot all this time.
I think this is the most important chapter of the all story. I really hope you like it and you understand this really complicated explanation of love. I think there is not recipe to describe love, but I hope you can identify with at least one of the moments Hinata describe.
:) I dont promes a next chapter soon, I got stuck in the spanish version of this fic because I really want Sakura and Hinata to have a heart to heart conversation, but everytime I write the chapter I end up deleting it haha.