Chapter 08: Forgiveness
There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love
-Bryant McGill, Author-
"…."
For a moment the room filled with deafening silence, no one, not mother, nor Izumi could talk. The only sound is mother's choked sobbing and Izumi's unsteady breathing. And at the same time, I do not know what should I say either.
When I'm back in the Last City, even when in its darkest moment during the Red War, no one would even cry or lament for the loss of Traveler nor the Last City. Instead, we rally, we save whatever we could, we fight in our own way, buy enough time for the civilians to evacuated.
And even in exile, we sabotage, we fight, we assassinate, we plan to retake the Last City. No one cries, no one weep. Everyone is as strong as steel, unbroken as iron.
But now….
Here I am in front of my mother wo weep for me, who lament that her son suffers so much, and I as her son do not know how to feel about that. A creature that as fragile as glass who weep for a being almost devoid of emotion
On one hand I understand completely why she's crying and, in my heart, I feel touched by her kindness, that she cares for me…
But on the other I see her as a weak woman, the one that let her heart bleed out, and I there are some parts that I do not understand why would she cries. I am the one that suffers,
I'm the one that felt the pain of bullets going through my body, I'm the one that suffers when my Cayde died in my arms
On one hand, there's kindness, there's understanding of her son's pain, but on the other hand it is weakness, it is illogical….
"… Stop, mother, weep no more, what have done is done you cannot change the past" I said with a flat voice
"How could I? If you did not jump back then… if only I have paid more attention to you… if only I could keep your dream alive… if only I could believe you could be a hero… you would not have suffered…" she said in between her sobs
"Forgive me my son… forgive me… forgive me… forgive me…" she continues to weep
"Mother… have I not jump then, perhaps, I would remain a fool, oblivious to the world, a hero-worshipping fool that do not knows the pain and suffering of a hero, the weight you need to carry for being a hero" I replied with a softer voice
"And besides, my mentor believes that I could be a hero, a mentor whom survives for hundreds of years, alone, a mentor that called as the strongest hunter. And HE believes that I could be a hero.
That's why he entrusts his ideas to me, that's why he believes I could surpass him, that's why he entrusts Last Word to me" I said with a pride in my voice
"Izu-nii, are you… okay?" Izumi asks with a soft voice
"You still wish to be a hero?" she continues
"Yes and no. No, I do not wish to be a hero, and if you're asking whether I would still try to apply to U.A then the answer is yes"
"…" Izumi's mouth opened but she hesitated to speak whatever in her mind
"I know you still have plenty of questions for me to answer, but for now we must continue our lives." I said while getting up, and start to preparing my uniform and bag to school
'But for now, you still have road yet travel and lives yet lived…' the final advice from my mentor rang through my head. The final advice before he gave me Last Word and me jouney into the unknown
'My beloved warlock, after school please come to the roof, alone, I have a gift for you and something for you to train' Aria speaks to me with a cheerful yet mysterious feeling
"Shit, Izumi we're almost late. If we take our usual route we would've surely arrive late. Just for today, we'll go to school my style" I said while summoning my Sparrow
Sparrow, an anti-gravity vehicle the size of a motorcycle, it's stupidly expensive, but also extremely useful, Sparrows are floating vehicle used by guardians to transport themselves just like a motorbike, however, Sparrows are equipped with a built-in weapon a energy blaster.
Despite its appearance Sparrows are durable, fast, and deadly and favored by hunters for hit and run or sabotage mission, mine is a Sparrow with Vanishing Point pattern
"Huh? Izu-nii what is that? Another one of-" Izumi's question's cut short when I put her in the backseat of the Sparrow
"Hold on tight!" I yell, before going in full throttle
"WHAAAA!" Izumi screams on top of her lungs as we quickly speed into the main road, over there, I tried to minimize damage as much as possible while trying to maintain the high speed.
"Izu-nii! Slow down! Please!" Izumi's plead fall upon deaf ears, like literally, I cannot hear anything beside the high-pitched sound from the machine akin to a jet sound blasted on your ear
When we finally almost arrive at school, I stop my Sparrow and exit the vehicle, after checking our surrounding and making sure no one would see the Sparrow, I unsummon it and wait for Izumi to fix her hair
"Nii-san, what is that thing you just summon?" she asks while combing her hair
"It's called Sparrow, just imagine a floating motorcycle with a built-in machine gun with a billion-dollar price tag on it" I said calmly
"Is it one of your powers?" she asks again while fixing her shirt and skirt
"No, but the summoning and unsummoning is my power, every guardian capable of manifest their equipment through their ghosts" I replied with one eye closed
"Let's go Izumi" I said before grabbing her hand and pull her close in, so close that I could feel her breath against me
Izumi's face flared into a bright red and steam comes from her face, but I paid her no mind, I'm here to remind her the most important thing that if she failed to do, would have a dire consequence.
"And remember DO NOT! Say anything about what I told you this morning." I said with a low growl in my voice
"I understand izu-nii, but please could you let me go?" she said with her hand covering her red face and steam coming from it
"Hmm, sorry then…" I said letting her go
The rest of the day goes as usual, not much changes except the fact that everyone seemingly more serious to the class, no chatting, no more joking around. However, considering that the final semester before graduation is coming closer, it makes perfect sense for people to getting more serious.
There's also the problem of everyone wanted to enter the greatest heroic school of all Japan, U.A, U.A have produced plenty of great heroes, and scientist or sidekick. All might, Endeavor, Mirko, EraserHead and many others are U.A graduate, so it makes sense that everyone would want to be accepted into U.A
"Midoriya-san, would you please come forward and answer these questions?" Fukushima-sensei called me and that brings me back from my daydream. I lazily walk to the blackboard and answer all of the questions, this time correctly
"Perfect answer Midoriya-san!" Fukushima-sensei praise me and I earn several glares from the class, still unhappy the fact that I still reign supreme in Math and Physics, but I pay them no mind. I soon return to my desk and continue daydreaming
RIIIINNGG*
The bell for lunch break finally rings, and while several students quickly get out of the class I see Bakugo comes for me
"How could you so good at Math huh DEKU?!" he yells at me, his voice clearly accusing me for cheating
"How about you stop bothering me Bakugo-san?" I replied with a tired and lazy voice, because truly, this encounter is getting boring
"Huuh? You want to say that into my face huh? You quirkless shit!" he said to me with a loud voice, as usual, which really make me wanted to just taped his mouth with a strand
"I have somewhere I need to be, leave me alone…" I said while getting up
"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE DEKUUUU!" Bakugo's palm open and from it he launches an explosion aimed to me. I simply bat away the upcoming energy with the back of my arm, throwing it away to the window
"Shut up Bakugo, if you keep doing this you would never be a hero" I said leaving him dumbfounded with me simply slapping his explosion away
As I arrive on the roof, I check my surrounding, seeing that no one is present I change to my white wolf warlock outfit and open my palm to manifest Aria, and she then create the same rune that she does yesterday, the Rune of Mirror
"So, now we're here, what do you wish to give to me?" I ask her
Aria then create a rubric cube, with various symbol engraved into each of the cube, the cube itself is a white colored and the symbol is black
"This my beloved is one of the most weapon used by warlocks right after the collapse, a part of 'The Sanctioned Trinity'. Rubric of Ahriman, Staff of Ohrmuzd and Truth-Seeker Dart of Enigma" Aria said explaining the rubric
"Rubric of Ahriman is a rubric used by the first Warlock, Ahriman, to defended the settlements of European Dead Zone, you remember when you rescue Osiris, he uses that three cubes to create a portal yes?" Aria asks me and remembering when Osiris uses a three cube to open a portal to the Vex Gate, akin to Mithrax's splicer
"That is merely a part of the cube, the function of the cube can be used to open a portal, stop, rewind, and reverse time. This cube bends the reality of space and time with its engrams and symbol etched into it" Aria explains the function of the Rubric of Ahriman
"Cool, so I can stop time and teleport? That's awesome!' I said, excited with the newfound gadget that I have
"Not so fast my beloved warlock, even for someone as genius as Osiris he could only use a part of it, you need to have full mastery on light power and understand each of the engrams and symbol to make a desirable outcome"
"Imagine, my dearest guardian, that the world is a computer, what we sense with our five sense is the hardware, the software is the laws of physics, and the 'zeros' and 'ones' are within the laws itself, this cube's function is to turn those 'zeros' to 'ones' and vice-versa." Aria explains to me the barest basics of how the Rubric cube works
"With the change of 'zeros' and 'ones' the software would change, the laws of physics would change, and with it the seen reality would also changes. That is what Rubric of Ahriman could do, changes the fundament or reality" she concluded
"So…. You will teach me on how to use the Rubric?" I ask her, only to be answered by a giggle
"No and yes, my beloved warlock, I will teach you on how to understand the engrams, and the symbol carved on the cube, however, one you understand on how it works; YOU will be the one to further learn it by yourself" she said with a cheerful voice
"However, worry noy my beloved warlock, I will still guide you, mentor you on how to use the rubric cube. I would not want you made a mistake and liquify yourself" Aria said
"Okay… So, when do we start to learn the rubric?" I could barely contain my excitement akin to a boy given a new toy and would want to play with it, so is my desire to experiment with the Rubric of Ahriman
"After the school my beloved warlock, just like usual" she speaks with a soft voice
RRIIINNGGG*
The bell rings again indicating that the second term for school finally, begin. So, I return to my regular outfit, and let Aria disappear, return as a voice in my mind once more. And the day continues as usual, minutes by minutes, hour by hour pass with no real meaning behind it.
'An idle mind is a devil's workshop my beloved warlock, I suggest that you pay attention to your class' Aria scold me for my daydreaming activity
'I'm worried for you mental health my dearest guardian, you've been daydreaming far too much ever since you return to you home world' Aria adds
'There's no Vex, no Hive, nothing, the boredom is killing me Aria' I said with a lazy voice
'Which is why I told you to pay attention to your teacher my dearest guardian' Aria said with a sigh
'Why would I? Rasputin already taught me anything I need to know' I replied with a bored tone
RRIIINNGG*
'Finally, I could do something that's ACTUALLY useful for once' I said to Aria, while packing up my stuff
"Oi, Deku..." I hear a familiar voice behind me, I sigh, mentally preparing for an outburst of anger. But, to my surprise, I found out that the usually angry Pomeranian blonde is actually calm.
Well, as calm as someone could be in front of their nemesis, he still glares with a sharpness of a brand-new knife tho'
"We need to talk, lets go…" he said with a raspy voice, as soon as I finished packing my stuff, he grabbed me and drag me to the roof,
"Since when you have a quirk huh" he asks with a venom in his voice
"You think you're better than me so that you do not teel me that you have a quirk?!" his voice starts to rise and rise
"YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME HUH?!" he yells at me opening his palm letting some explosions go off
"I never have any quirk Bakugo-san" I replied calmly, but inside I'm preparing to get rid of him once and for all
"LIAR! You swat away my explosions like it was nothing! Only my mother could do that! You MUST have a quirk"
"I might be not having a quirk Bakugo-san, but I never said that I was powerless" I clarified to him
"So, you have quirk? Since when? Why won't you tell me?" he asks again with a bewildered face
"Why would I tell you? My tormentor, why would I tell anything to someone who looks down on me, said that I'm a failure, a waste sack of space, that I should jump myself" I said with a cold, steel voice
"I'm just joking Deku, you know that" he scoffs, still trying to look high and mighty.
When he said that, I nearly summon my Last Word and blow his brain then and there. How dare he… HOW dare he… HOW DARE HE! Call such actions as a joke, as a prank, he… HE TORTURE ME FOR HIS OWN SAKE! I could stand Savathun's trickery and lies, I could stand Lakshmi fear-mongering attitude…
'But this… THIS CROSS THE LINE, TORMETOR!'
My vision goes red, my body act on its own, thirsty for blood want to quench their thirst of vengeance, and for me I know what I have to do what's right and just for years of torment, pain and suffering
I start to manifest Last Word and aim it at his kneecaps, I would not kill him, no I would not… I am not that forgiving, I would sunder his will apart, break his body, corrupt his mind so much until he would spend the rest of his days covering in fear of Light and Dark
'Hm… hm… hm… hm… hm…' I hear an old humming, a lullaby of old age, a soft, gentle voice that hums a lullaby of forgotten era
'Be still your troubled heart my love…
Be still your heart my dear
For I am here, for I am with you
Let the darkness away
Be still your troubled heart my love
Be still your heart my dear
For I am here, with the light
Shine away the darkness'
The lullaby sings by Aria managed to calm my troubled emotion, my vision started to clear, my body started to listen to me, and reason returned to my mind banishing the clouded judgement. I close my eyes…
INHALE*-*EXHALE*-*INHALE*-*EXHALE*-*INHALE*-*EXHALE*
I tried to calm down my nerves, steady my breathing, and reign my emotions and finally open my eyes
"Then, it's a bad joke you've done to me for the last six years" I replied with a dried voice
"I just want you to be strong Deku, you know… like an iron being hammered for a fine steel" he said, trying to justify his actions. The longer I hear him talking the more I feel my rage inside me, I need to end this conversation as soon as I could
"Hm… whatever, our discussion is over" I said before suddenly move closer to his face
"Leave… me… alone…" I said with a heavy growl, then I hit his neck with a sharp punch, that action forces his trachea to close leaving him unable to breathe for a few moments
As I stare at him with a cold gaze while he grabs his neck while slowly kneel over, trying to breathe and then I leave the roof leaving him in the hands of fate
After those whole ordeals, I walk back home, I walk, and walk, and walk, but I could not talk to Aria, I could not bear the shame of breaking my oath to her and so I silence her, cut her connection from me for a while.
When I almost at home, I decided to go for a detour, to walk awhile, to clear my head… And I arrive at the filthy Dagobah Beach, the once pristine beach now littered with trash piling up over the years
'How fitting…' I thought to myself 'Just like my soul, darkens over the years'
And over here, obscure from public eye, I meditate. I cross my legs and sit, emptying my mind, feeling the breeze of air, hearing the waves crashing with the sand, I feel the tiny creatures holed up in the sand, I sense the birds flying high in the sky…
And I feel my guilt, my failure when dealing with Bakugo…
'I'm sorry Aria… for silencing you… for my failure to deal with Bakugo… I'm not worthy as your champion for I am fallible' I apologize to her
'It's okay my beloved warlock, my dearest guardian' Aria replied back with a gentle voice
'it proves that you're still living, still human, still learning. Even those who live long enough could fall into their rage. Remember how you defeat Savathun? Every being has some weakness that you could exploit. You, me, Zavala, Ikora, Savathun, The Witness… every one has one weakness' Aris said with a soft voice
'So do not sell yourself short my dearest guardian, and whenever you fall, I will be there to remind you of what you are. A guardian, kingslayer, hivebane, godslayer, and my eternal companion'
'I will be with you… always' she said, before dissapearing back to my mind
It was dark when I finally arrive at home, mother already prepare for dinner, our conversation is not much, but slowly Izumi, I and mother are repairing our relationship. It can be awkward sometimes when neither of us are talking or have anything to talk about, but at least we started to eat together again
After finishing the dinner, I go back to my room doing my homework, I must be focusing too much for my homework since I realize its already 10 PM. I collect my homework and prepare to sleep; this is when I hear a knock on my door
KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
"Izu-nii can I come in?" my sister's voice can be heard behind the door. Quite curious since she usually already falls asleep after 9PM
"Come in…" I said, while continue to making my bed
Izumi walk in still in her floral pattern pajamas that desperately trying to keep her chest in
"Nii-san can we… talk?" she hesitated
"About?" I ask her stopping what I were doing just a moment before. I walk pass her and close the door. Whatever she wishes to discuss with me, it'll required some privacy
"Nii-san, do you know what motivates me as a hero?" she asks me with a philosophical tone
"No" I replied truthfully
"And do you know my favorite hero?" she again, asks me
"All Might? Endeavor?" I ask back
"……" For several seconds she did not say anything, instead, she closes her eyes and tilt her head up facing the ceiling
"It's you" she said, shocking me
"You know… I always look up to you nii-san, ever since we just a little kid. You always there for me, smiling for me, even if you do not have any quirk you try to keep me safe"
"I never hated you nii-san, I hate the world, I hate the fact that fate decide that you are quirkless. My brother that I look up to is quirkless…"
"Whenever I sees you, I reminded that you would not be there with me when I be a hero, and I hate the feeling, and I starting to hate you…"
"… So just like a husband that loses his wife hated his daughter for she resembles the one that he lost…" I put an analogy
"So why are you here now?" I ask her
"I simply wanted to let you know about this, the reason for me distancing myself from you…and the reason me hating you for years" she hung her head
"I'm sorry, nii-san, I truly am. I know that you might never forgive me but I just hope that we could return… just like we used to be"
"……." I analyze her expression, whether or not she's truthful, sincere, is she truly regret of what she has done? Or this is merely a façade?
'Aria… what do you think? I have a fleeting feeling that she is genuine… but at the same time I do not wish to be betrayed again…' I asks the only partner I could trust.
'Give her a chance my beloved warlock, the path to healing is started with a single simple step. If she actually betrays you my dearest guardian…
Then she will know why The Witness could be so devious' Aria said assuring me to give my sister a chance to mend our relationship while at the same time threaten her
Classic Aria moves
And while I weighing my option, Izumi's expressions become dejected and sad, she started to walk to the door about to exit the room
"Sorry, for disturbing you nii-san, I'll leave you for now… Sorry… for everything I have done…" she said with a grieving voice
"Izumi" I said, stopping her in her tracks
"We're young and foolish back then, and now here we are… older and wiser…" I said looking at her
"I still detest you for what you have done for me, it is wound that would last for long time…" she hung her head, letting her hair bang cover her face, but I can hear a small sob from her
"But I will give you one chance, ONE chance, to put everything behind us and forge a new path forward together" I said to her closing my door, leaving her in the hallway
In my brain scream at me saying that I make a terrible mistake, but my heart says that it is the right thing to be done and before I fall into my bed, I hear a soft voice from my door
"Thank you, Nii-san, and… forgive me…"