Chapter 6
Peeta's being released from hospital! And I'm so excited. Coin and I had an argument about Peeta and I getting a room together, but I won. I kept bringing up the baby and that I wouldn't listen to her rules if he had his own room, I would be in his room anyway. So, she gave up and Peeta and I are moving into a new compartment today. Peeta's recovery is almost complete and he is stable enough to come and live with the rest of Thirteen. He's bulked up a little bit more, and he's better than he has been for weeks. His little outburst after we came back from Twelve was the last time he had a little episode. That was just over two weeks ago. I'm now thirty-one weeks pregnant, only nine weeks to go. And Peeta is reminding me every week. I'm huge! Mom tells me that I'm just going to get even bigger and I'm not excited for that. I'm already as lopsided as I thought I could ever get. I didn't even think someone could get this big from getting pregnant! Peeta tells me it's beautiful to see our baby growing, but I'm not feeling like it's a beautiful thing. I just feel like a bloated deer! But, I'm glad Peeta and I have this last time of our pregnancy together without the prying eyes of the doctors, it's just going to be us. And I'm so excited for it. I never talked to Peeta about the note. I've been waiting for the moment when I can confront him about it. It stays safe in my pocket with my other belonging, her picture, Peeta's locket and my pearl.
Peeta thanks his doctors immensely shaking all of their hands appreciatively and we walk out of the rooms to leave his horrid rooms behind and all of the bad memories, and the good ones. We walk towards our compartment, number four-hundred and thirty-two. Peeta's got her picture and his notebook in the same hand while the other is holding onto mine as we walk slowly through Thirteen. I'm more waddling around instead of walking from the huge planet which our baby grows inside. My feet ache and my back is killing me, but I don't complain. I just wish Peeta could kiss away all of that pain. He hasn't properly kissed me again since when I left for Two. It just hasn't happened, even though I want him too so bad. I think he does too, the sexual tension between us is electric, but I haven't allowed myself to do anything else unless he isn't ready to do it again. He's kissed my head, cheeks, stomach, but never again my neck and never my lips. I wish he would already do it. I'm craving his lips and other parts of his body more than I am food, and I'm starving all the time. Peeta's been even more secretive with his notebook, raising suspicion towards what other dirty pictures could be inside. I'm still embarrassed that his doctors saw my naked body inside Peeta's notebook, but it goes away when I think about Peeta kissing parts of me which I didn't think he would kiss.
-Flashback-
Peeta's lips trail down from my neck to my collarbone, sucking on the skin and almost making another lovebite. His tongue travels down from my collarbone and he starts trailing even further down, making my body go higher into the heavens made by Peeta. His tongue runs over the small swell on my breast and it makes my nipple instantly pebble, my lips dropping a gasp. Peeta's eyes look up to me and I see a small smirk appear on his lips, looking back down. His tongue runs up my swell again, eliciting the same reaction as before. Then his lips come up to my nipple and he runs it over my pebbled skin. my gasp is even louder, confused at that contact and the reaction which came from me. His lips close around my nipple and he starts lapping his tongue around it, making me sigh and groan. The pleasure is incredible, even more so when his lips pull at it, heading straight to my kindling fire. I continue to sigh and soon I'm moaning, then he goes and does the same pleasurable torture to my other nipple. It leaves me breathless when his lips finally leave my lathered nipples, trailing his tongue down my stomach. I think he'll stop and come back up, but he keeps going further down. Nervousness rises inside my stomach, especially when he places himself between my legs, his head hovering over my centre.
"Trust me?"
I let out a loud breath and feel myself nodding without even realising it. Soon, his lips are pressing kisses to my inner thigh. I bite my lip from moaning as he kisses up my thigh and then to the other one. Soon, he's eyeing me from a very close view, making me self-conscious, but I can't bring myself to get him to move. The anticipation of curiousness is keeping his head level with my centre. His eyes flicker for a few moments to my eyes and then he smirks, leaning down and kissing me where only his hands and member have been. I moan loudly, the pleasure being more than I ever imagined. Soon, his tongue comes out and he is flicking and lapping me, my moans louder and panting. My hand comes down and grips onto his curls as I feel my insides building. His tongue begins an assault on the place where it makes me writhe with pleasure, beginning an even faster journey. I'm panting and little whimpers escaping my lips, unable to be controlled and held back. Soon, my inside collapse as I come from just himself using his talented tongue.
I'm breathless. He comes back up to me, kissing his way back up my body and then his lips connect with mine. I taste myself on his lips and it's weird, but it must have done something for Peeta, I can feel it hard against my thigh.
"Katniss Everdeen, you taste glorious." He whispers against my lips.
I bite my lip and then his lips are back on mine.
-End of Flashback-
I clear my throat hoping it will clear the horny urges inside my inner core, walking straight towards our room. Standing outside the door, Peeta lets go of my hand and I pass him the key. He opens up the door and we are welcomed with the sight of our small compartment and our home until we can go back to Twelve. It's got a queen bed to one side, hovering above the ground and an inbuilt table and chairs in the middle, a large couch and two other couches to the opposite side. A door is next to the bed, probably to the bathroom. I spy it and walk into the room, heading towards the door.
"Dibs!" I call, wobbling towards the door.
Peeta laughs and then I close myself in the small bathroom. It has a toilet, shower, sink, long mirror and cabinets. This is our home for now…
I come back out a few minutes later and see Peeta sitting on the bed, looking over at our room. I walk over to him and sit beside him, locking my hands together in my lap. Peeta is still looking over the room and he sighs.
"We are finally alone."
The thought makes me press my legs together tightly, trying to rid of that feeling. When I look back over to Peeta, he is looking back at me with eyes filled with that desire which makes me go crazy inside and want to attack him with love. Here, no one can interrupt us. We are finally alone. Peeta's eyes flicker from my eyes to my lips, licking his and making me bite my lip. His breathing gets deeper and his desire filled eyes locking with mine. His head moves closer to mine and I swear my heart stops, my breath along with it.
"I didn't want to do this there, because I knew I wouldn't be able to stop." He whispers.
I gasp and his hands come up and cup my cheeks. I feel his breath against my lips and my eyes fall closed. His head is pressed against mine, but his lips still away from mine.
"I love you too." He says.
I gasp and his lips are on mine.
I'm instantly in the heaven which only Peeta can place me into. I'm consumed with all the heat and love which I've been trying to ignore since Peeta came back, even before that. My tongue is in Peeta's mouth and his hands are pulling my head to his and leaving no space between us. I pull back and move myself so that I crawl into his lap, grabbing his head and pulling it back to mine, Peeta's tongue now invading mine. I'm covered with an invisible fire, my insides like a volcano almost about to bubble over. My hands dig into Peeta's hair, pulling at his locks and rocking softly against his lap and growing erection. I gasp when I feel it, egging my kissing on further. Peeta's hands grip my hips and push them further onto his lap, making sure I feel it. We both groan and pull away from the kisses for just a moment to breathe.
"Oh Katniss." He breathes, rubbing his nose against mine.
"Make love to me, Peeta." I gasp.
He chuckles, running his hands up my back before grasping onto my hips.
"Oh, I plan too."
I groan and clash my lips back onto his, attacking his mouth with mine.
Peeta leans back on the bed and I follow him, but my stomach gets in the way and I groan in frustration, having to sit back up.
"Fucking stomach!" I exclaim, crossing my arms around my chest and almost feeling like crying.
Peeta leans back up and brings his arms around mine, pressing a quick kiss to my lips.
"Don't worry about it. I'll work around it." He smirks, giving me another peck.
He spins us around so I am turned with the bed behind me. He pushes us up the bed, resting my back against one of the pillows. I reach over and grab the other one, pushing me back up and pulling the other pillow behind me.
"Better?"
I nod, but then bite my lip.
"Only if you can get to me."
Again, he smirks and whispers, "I'll work around it. I'm so horny I'm gonna have too."
I chuckle and feel myself getting even more horny hearing that he is. It makes me feel so much better knowing that he is feeling this way. Fuck, the tension between us has been unbearable.
He kisses me for a while, our hands roaming the best that we can, Peeta's stomach resting against mine, the closest which we can get too. His hips keep thrusting up, touching me through our clothes. As he does it again, I gasp and moan.
"Just making sure I can reach like this."
I close my eyes as I am blinded by the desire of his words. I breathe out and bring my hands to the bottom of his shirt and rip it from his body. I'm blinded again, but this time by the scars which mark his body. I'm instantly worried and I want to burst into tears.
"Peeta…"
He shakes his head and leans down and kisses my lips.
"I have my new scars, you have yours. Cry about it later if you want, I need you so bad now."
Usually, I'd refuse and cry then, but my inner Goddess come back and blinds me seeing his sculpted body beneath his scars which seem to disappear in my eyes. I lean up and kiss him again, bucking my hips up to his, getting a strangled groan from Peeta. I smile against Peeta's lips and I feel his hands on my shirt. I'm only wearing a few pieces of clothing but even those feel too much between us. He rips the shirt open, tearing the fabric and exposing my enlarged breasts to him. He licks his lips and brings his head down to the swells of them and kisses them. Peeta's tongue methodically laps around my nipple which makes me gasp from how sensitive they are right now. He laps his tongue around them both until they are lathered with his saliva, looking up at me and smirking.
"They look amazing like this. I should get you pregnant more often."
I'm taken aback from his comment, but he rest of he ripped shirt off me before I can make a comment it. Leaving the top half of me completely exposed, his lips come back down and pull my peaked nipple into his mouth while he toys with the other with his talented fingers. I moan loud, unable to keep it to myself and run my hands down his back as he pleasures my sensitive breasts. He interchanges between the two of them before I can't take it anymore, my desire for him has got to have been more than his and I'm craving to have him in my mouth.
"Stop!"
He stops instantly and looks up at me. I push him back onto the bed, struggling to get up and crawling down to his pants. I pull them down along with his boxers and his erection springs free. I don't even bother getting his pants and boxers down before I've got him inside my mouth. Peeta groans loudly and his hand comes down and grabs my hair, the other pulling it into his fist. He feels so hard and hot inside my mouth, a salty precum taste on my tongue my head bobs, then I try and take him deeper than I ever did before. Peeta groans loudly and throws his head back, I keep it there for as long as I can before choking and coming back up for air. One hand comes up and rubs it up and down before I place my lips back around him. My hand and mouth start a rhythm which doesn't get disturbed until he pulls me up when I felt him swelling around my lips. I've had images of him coming in my mouth for weeks, but apparently not going to happen now. He turns me around and pulls me back up to the pillows and kicks off his pants and then pulls mine down and over my legs.
Peeta looks down to my throbbing sex and it makes me squirm under his gaze. He leans down and starts at my thighs, kissing up my legs making me tremble with excitement. His hot breath is now at my entrance at it makes me moan from the contact as his tongue darts out lapping around me. I gasp unable to control myself, his tongue licking over my clit and making me writhe under his touch. He lifts up a moment for air and his lips are glistening with my wetness.
"God, you are dripping." He groans.
I moan at his words before he starts attacking my clit once again. His tongue makes circular motions on my very sensitive nubs and I start crying out feeling a build up inside me. He adjusts himself and then I feel the pressure of his finger as he pushes inside me. I groan again and whip my head around on my pillow, I bring my hand up to my mouth and try and cover it from the pleasure torture he is assaulting me with.
"Peeta…" I moan his name against my fingers as he starts to rhythmically pump his fingers inside me all while his tongue plays with my clit. I can't take it for much longer and feel the building start getting to a level they haven't in a very long time.
"Peeta, I'm gonna…" I can't get the words out, they are cut off by a moan as he starts going faster, edging me closer to the finish I've wanted for months. The pressure of both his tongue and finger gets the best of me, especially when he replaces one fingers with two and I cry out. My hands spread over the bed, grabbing hold of anything I can to help anchor me from this pleasurable out of body experience. My legs snap over his head as I cry out when I feel my building collapse causing my body to shake with my release. Peeta keeps licking and pumping until I have ridden out the stars from behind my eyes. His fingers pull out and his tongue runs down my clit, over my entrance and then back up one last time has he comes back up to my view.
"I've wanted to do that for the longest time." He confesses, climbing up to me and pressing a kiss against my lips tasting myself against his lips. I'm exhausted from my orgasm, but I need him inside me. It's been too long without him that I need him desperately.
"I need you inside me." I moan, grabbing onto his locks and bringing him down into a breathless kiss. He smirks on my lips as his tongue and mine dance together. Between my legs, Peeta's body slips and I feel his hard cock trailing up and down my slit coating it with my juices and I groan into his mouth. As he lines himself up, I look up into his eyes pleading.
"Please, Peeta."
He moans and in answer, I feel him pushing into me. The noise which escapes me is a mix between a cry and a moan and it's so loud it echoes off the walls along with Peeta's guttural groans. When I'm filled to the brim, I gasp wrapping my arms around his shoulders and press my head into his shoulder and neck cranny. Peeta kisses my bare neck and I'm sure he leaves another lovebite, but I don't move to stop him. I want to see those marks. Peeta and I both breathless with the feeling of us being connected again as he lets my body adjust to the sheer size of him inside me.
"Move, Peeta." I beg.
He smiles against my neck and he moves out slowly before he pushes back into me harder, making my insides crave him even more. He does this again and again. Before I get frustrated and yell out, "Faster!"
Peeta obliges and starts a fast, hard and satisfying rhythm. I'm moaning so loud and panting, thankful that Peeta is back to me and giving me what I've been craving for months. Peeta's hands which are beside my head pull my head up and bring my lips to his. Our kiss is wet and constantly being broken from the breathlessness of our lungs as we moan together. It's incredible. I'm filled with so much pleasure and my body continues to build up yet again. Peeta grabs my legs and shifts our positions with my legs resting flush against his body as he drives deeper inside me. I gasp and cry out at the new angle, the pressure of him inside me a new level of pleasure overtaking both of us. I feel the building again and it makes me pant with want, Peeta's thrusts now getting faster and harder which each moment, both of us wanting a release.
Peeta reaches in between us with one hand and his thumb comes between us and presses against my clit and I almost lose it right then. I scream out as he starts rubbing small circles on my sensitive nub and I'm panting with sweet desire. Soon it's all too much and I'm close again.
"Are you close, Katniss?" Peeta pants out.
Unable to comprehend words, I nod furiously and moan in answer. He starts going faster with his thumb and his thrusts and before I know what's happening, I'm coming around him. As if he was waiting for me to finish first, his thrusts are becoming sloppy and he drops my legs and thrusts up into me as his lips come to mine and I feel him come inside me groaning hard against my lips. He collapses on top of me careful of my bump, wrapping his body around mine, pressing himself against my body. His lips connect with mine and leaves me breathless again. I close my eyes and relish in the aftermath, breathing in Peeta's scent and our love making smell which I remember from all of those months back.
"Thank you for coming back to me." I whisper.
Peeta's head turns and looks at me, I turn to face him. His eyes gaze into mine and I'm instantly happier.
"Thank you for bringing me back."
His hand comes up to my stomach and he runs it over with his big hand.
"Thanks for giving me her."
"You gave me her." I correct.
He shakes his head.
"You carry her. You're creating her right now. Thank you. She's a light. She's our reason to finally fight back. She's going to be our saviour. Everyone's saviour. She's your reason to kill him and make us all free from him."
Now I shake my head. I bring my hand up to his cheek and I caress it. I smile weakly.
"Yes, I am doing it for her. But, you are the real reason. It's always been you, Peeta. Always you."
Then his lips are back on mine. And we continue to make love until we are roused out of bed by Haymitch at five for dinner.
:-:
Finnick and Annie are having their wedding today. Plutarch has been making a big fuss out of it and he is wanting it televised for the whole of Panem to see. Like a propo. I think that's crazy. Their happy day shouldn't be bombarded with cameras recording their precious moment just for the act of a propo to rub into Snow's face. I think it's very rude and inconsiderate. But, apparently all people in the Capitol film each other's weddings, for the looking back on such a lovable and romantic moment. I don't agree with it. I think it's wrong. Peeta and I are dressed in the same clothes we wear each day, even though we prefer to be wearing no clothes when we are with each other. I prefer to be naked than wear clothes. Only Peeta sees me naked and he tells me I look beautiful with my scars from my protruding stomach. With clothes, I'm baggy in some places and tight in others. And I look horrible to the eye. Prim says I'm glowing, but I don't believe her. Annie thinks pregnancy looks good on me, making herself want a baby too, I deny what she says. And Peeta thinks that I look good with anything on, or not on, telling me that I'm the most beautiful person in the world. I ignore him and usually just kiss him to shut him up. Haymitch tells me I look like a whale, him I agree with. When Peeta heard him say that, he almost punched him square in the jaw.
As Annie walks down the aisle, she looks beautiful. Her eyes match the colour of her dress, red hair cascading down her shoulders as she meets Finnick with a huge contagious smile branded on his face. The ceremony makes me cry, more from my hormones than anything. I tried as hard as I could to not cry, but I couldn't help myself. I was a goner when Finnick said his vows. I think it made Peeta a little uneasy beside me, myself crying at a wedding when we aren't married, only fake married, even though we have a child on the way. But, I just told him it was my pregnancy hormones. He relaxed a little bit, but not enough to convince myself that he was actually feeling alright hearing it was only my hormones. At the moment, I still don't want to get married. It's not in my books. Maybe later on, but now… I don't think that's something I want to be doing. Our baby is enough for me for now.
I'm surprised to see the cake roll out and I'm instantly aware of Peeta's steady workers hands. At first I'm shocked to think that Peeta has been doing this without me knowing, then he tells me that he has been switching his physical therapy lessons for the time to finish their cake. I'm happy to think he has done this for them for their special day. It makes me all gooey inside. After I've eaten three pieces of Peeta's amazing cake, the baby craving more after one single bite, he grabs my hand.
"No, I don't want to go yet." I whine, mouth still filled with the last of my cake.
He smiles and shakes his head.
"We aren't leaving. Come with me?"
I raise my eyebrows and grab his hand, his other one soon coming around for my other hand to grab, pulling me up from the chair. Walking, moving, getting up, and doing almost anything, has proven the challenge now I've hit thirty-three weeks. Peeta pulls me to the dance floor where Annie and Finnick slowly dance together with their love and happiness obvious to everyone who looks over at them.
"Peeta, I'm not going to dance." I say, trying to pull my hand out from his.
His newly returned strength pulls me back, stopping me from moving too far.
"Come on. It won't be as bad as you think."
I scoff, looking down to the best ability at my feet.
"I can't even see my feet, how am I supposed to dance on them?"
Peeta smiles at me softly, grabbing one hand and the other coming to rest upon my waist.
"With my help of course." He informs me, lifting me and spinning me around.
"Peeta! You're going to hurt yourself!" I scold, slapping his back.
He just chuckles and places me back on the ground, starting to move to the soft melodies which come from Four. As Peeta moves, I don't have any choice but to move along with him. Peeta continues to move us around the dance floor and soon I find myself letting go of my worries and I end up giggling. Peeta just smiles down at me and holds me tighter against his body.
"That's it, Girl on Fire. Show Snow how much of a good time you are having with your Baby Daddy!" Johanna calls from the other side of the room.
I am only confronted by cameras being pointed at both Peeta and I as I try to spot Johanna in the crowd. Beneath my fingertips, I feel Peeta tense up. His movements stop, making mine also pause. His hand grips onto my hand with an almost death grip, his eyes closed and screwed up tightly. I begin to worry and wonder what triggered this reaction. Was it Snow's name? Johanna yelling from across the room? My nickname 'Girl on Fire'? Johanna referring to Peeta as 'Baby Daddy'? Or the cameras which are traced on us? I don't know. But, I scared about what will happen if I don't get him out of this room. I turn away from facing Peeta and I search the room for Haymitch. I know he is here tonight, I made sure of it just encase something like this happened, and it's a wedding after all. I spot him against the wall, leaning against it casually. I yell out his name, drawing his instant attention. He looks over at me, taking in the situation and then he pushes himself off the wall and straight towards us, rushed.
Next to me, Haymitch removes Peeta's hands from me and starts ushering him away from the crowds. Not much attention has been drawn to the situation, but walking past people I smile as if nothing is wrong. I don't want to alarm people when I don't even know what is going on and what Peeta is going to come out when I try and speak to him in private and away from everyone.
"Where do you want him? Your room?" Haymitch asks as we walk.
I shake my head, my feet starting to ache extremely and not thinking that I can walk all the way to my room and thinking that Peeta may snap at any moment. He's still got his eyes closed tightly, his hands are clenched into fists and his breathing is erratic. I look around my surroundings, spotting one of the stationary closets which I always found myself in when things got bad and I wanted privacy. I point to the closet and Haymitch nods understanding. Inside, he rests Peeta against the bookcase and kneels down to his level.
"Peeta?" He calls.
I close the door behind me and lean against it, rubbing a hand under my stomach and taking a deep breath to calm myself down. I open my eyes to see Haymitch looking up at me concerned.
"You okay?"
I nod my head, stroking the underside of my stomach and taking another breath out.
He nods, turning his attention back to Peeta. I do too. I don't care about how I feel, I just want to be feeling that Peeta isn't a harm to himself or others around us. I just want Peeta to be okay again. I want this to be over. It's been so long since his last little episode. But, I think this one may have even been a collection of events. So, it could get very bad if Haymitch and I don't tread and deal with the issue cautiously. Haymitch calls out Peeta's name again, this time he reacts. His eyes widen and they aren't the beautiful blue which was looking into my grey eyes just a few minute ago. They are a dark black, almost looking like nothing resides within the eyes staring back between Haymitch and I.
"What the hell is that fat Mutt doing here?"
Not my Peeta… Keep yourself calm, Katniss. It's not him… It's the Mutt Peeta, created by Snow.
I close my eyes and shake my head slightly, I don't want to start again. We just became good again. Everything was perfect, today we were happy, last night we were even happier after Peeta made me come four times within an hour. That Peeta is gone, again... And I don't know how long it's going to take until he is back in my embrace, my arms, rubbing my stomach and whispering to it when he thinks I'm asleep. I don't want to be back at base zero. Can we just go back?
"Peeta, what are you seeing?" Haymitch calmly questions.
I keep my eyes closed, I don't want to see those dark eyes staring into mine again. Not again…
"That fat Mutt who's just standing there and doing nothing." He spits.
I swallow hard, trying my hardest not to burst into tears right here.
"In your head, Peeta."
I can almost see his eyes closing from behind my eyelids, especially when he breathes out deeply, concentrating on whatever must be jumbling around in his head. After a few moments of complete silence, Peeta's confused voice fills the closet.
"Snow's guards beating me as Snow stood behind a camera and watched it being filmed. His sly grin. And then Katniss…"
My eyes snap open.
The way that he just said my name, it wasn't in the vicious spitting words which he was using just before. It's like he's already trying himself to come back from the horrors which are now plaguing his mind.
Come on, Peeta… Please Peeta… Come back to me! Stay with me?
"She looks different." Peeta finishes, his tone indicating that he is confused about my appearance inside his mind.
"How Peeta?"
Peeta's eyes crunch shut and he takes a deep breath out.
"She looks not like the Mutt Snow told me about. The pictures of her propaganda shoots show her for real. And she is glowing. So beautiful." Peeta whispers.
My breath catches in my throat and I choke on it. Now the tears are beginning to build. Oh Peeta… As I look at him, I can see the battle inside him.
"But when I open my eyes…"
Peeta's eyes open and they lock with mine. I try to find the loving Peeta who was just talking, but he's gone again.
"I see a disgusting Mutt who claims to be her."
I bring my hand to my mouth as I gasp.
It's not Peeta talking. It's the Mutt Snow created.
"She's not a vision."
Not Peeta. The Mutt inside him.
"This Katniss isn't beautiful."
Not Peeta. Not Peeta. Not Peeta!
"She's not a Mockingjay. She is selfish human being who impregnated herself to save her own skin."
My Peeta is gone.
"You got me pregnant! If you didn't want this thing, maybe you should have told me so I could have gotten rid of it. Because I sure as hell didn't want this thing!" I scream at him.
I turn around and push open the door. I needed to escape, but before I could get out without seeing his face, my mind is now plagued with his taken aback eyes. I don't want to see him again, I think as I push through the hallways. Tears are covering my cheeks. Feet are kicking my ribs. My feet are swollen. I move as quickly as I can to try and find a better place to hide. This time, I definitely don't want to be found. I'm staying away from him. He's not my Peeta. I find myself in the safety bunkers. I go straight to our bed which we had and I crawl up and allow myself to cry myself into oblivion.