Sabbaticals - 12 weeks

They were three months into the one year commitment in the Maluku Islands. Brennan and Mary had become good friends as they worked together all day and then sat outside most nights looking at the stars, sharing some wine, and talking about their lives. Sharing so many personal details was foreign to Brennan, but there was something about Mary that brought it out of her. Booth, of course, knew more about her life. But that had happened gradually over five years, not three months.

Brennan had shared with Mary some details and stories about her family, but most of the stories had to do with her work. She told tales about some of the cases they had worked - and how the combination of the Jeffersonian team's expertise, Booth's gut and skillful interviewing, and the resources of the FBI, had combined to give them the best solve rate in all of the bureau. Mary, as a Professor of Anthropology at the University of London, took great delight in Brennan's stories. As an academic, she enjoyed hearing about the ways that some of her students would take her lessons into the field.

One evening, Brennan had just finished that night's story. Mary took a sip of her wine, and nonchalantly asked, "You do realize that the hero of almost every one of your stories is Booth, don't you?" Brennan was startled and began to sputter. "Wha…wha…what do you mean?" Mary laughed. "I've always found that when a person talks about another person as much as you talk about Booth, that it means something. I suspect you don't even realize you're doing it. But it tells me that he's right there." Mary touched her chest in the vicinity of her heart. "All the time." Mary saw that Brennan was watching her with a skeptical look on her face. She continued. "We've been having these conversations for weeks now about love. The way it starts with chemistry in the brain and often fades over time. But how the lucky ones can grow and nurture that love and build a life together."

They had been having these discussions. Mary was working to mentor Brennan through this year long exploration of her feelings for Booth. When it came to Booth, Brennan knew two things for sure. She wanted to maintain their close friendship and she wanted to maintain their partnership. But she didn't know if she could risk it all by jumping into a romantic relationship.

Her main concern was the whole "love being simply a case of brain chemistry". They had quite a few discussions on this, and Brennan was finally able to understand what Mary was telling her. Brennan told her that she had been feeling that "love" brain chemistry with Booth for several years, and Mary pointed out how much time the partners spent together and how well they knew each other. If that chemistry was still there, it didn't seem very transitory.

And then there was Brennan's second concern. She was afraid that she didn't have the emotional intelligence to keep a relationship going with Booth because he had such a big heart. She told Mary that Booth was a romantic and she wasn't. How long would he be happy with a woman who didn't match his emotional energy? Brennan worried that he would eventually become disillusioned and then she might lose everything. Not only a lover, but a friend and also a partner.

So, as they sat there drinking their wine, Brennan tried to understand why Mary felt that Booth was the hero of all of her stories. Mary related back a few of the stories from the past few weeks. "It's not that he saves you in these stories. It's more that he is your champion - he allows you the space to save yourself. Temperance, this man knows you well. It seems like he's constantly nudging you forward. Do you feel like you've changed a lot since you met him?"

Brennan nodded. "Yes. Both Booth and Angela have been my guides to becoming a more well rounded person. Before I met them both, I was strictly a scientist, married to my work. Never, ever willing to accept anything that didn't have provable data. I dated off and on, but had no interest in developing a relationship. I felt I didn't have time for that 'nonsense'." She smiled. "I realize now how short sighted that was. Booth and Angela taught me that there is so much more to life. So much so, that about 18 months ago I decided that I wanted to have a child."

Mary was startled. "So, how were you planning to do that?" Brennan was very matter of fact. "By artificial insemination, of course. I asked Booth to be the sperm donor and he agreed. In fact, he actually made the donation at the clinic." Mary sat back in her chair and looked up to the stars and then looked back at Brennan chuckling. "So you were willing to have a child with him. Create a family with him. But without the romance. How would that have worked if he had moved on and started another family with another woman?"

Brennan was silent for almost a minute. "I guess I never thought of it in those terms. I just felt like I wanted a child to grow and nurture. And I couldn't have asked for better qualities in a sperm donor to pass on to that child than Booth's. And….I know it sounds selfish, but I felt that I would always have a part of him this way."

Mary noticed that Brennan's eyes had started to tear up. She stood up, walked over to Brennan, pulled her up from her chair, and brought her in for a tight hug. "Oh Temperance. You do have it bad, girl. We're going to get this worked out. And I don't think we should wait until the year is up before you tell him how you feel." They released from the hug and Mary pulled her chair over so they could sit face to face. She put out both of her hands and grabbed Brennan's hands. "I think we need to resolve this sooner rather than later." Brennan nodded. "Angela has been saying the same thing. I do a video call with her every other week, and last week she was really leaning on me to call him, write him, do something."

Mary felt she had found the opening she needed. "How about you, me, and Angela all get on a video call together and talk this out? Would that be comfortable for you?" Brennan nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. I would love to introduce you to each other. Let me email her tonight and see if she can join us on a call tomorrow evening." Mary squeezed her hands. "It's a plan. You go in and send the email and let me know tomorrow if you've heard back from her."

The next evening, Brennan had her laptop set up and she sat beside Mary waiting for Angela to answer the video call. When Angela's face appeared on the screen, she had a big smile on her face. "Hi Mary! I've been dying to meet you!" Mary waved to her. "I've been anxious to meet you myself. How is Paris this afternoon?" Angela laughed. "Paris is wonderful. Paris is always wonderful. We could be having a monsoon, and you wouldn't hear any complaints from me." The two scientists laughed, and Brennan leaned toward the screen. "Well, I certainly hope that I will be able to pry you away from there next year to return to the Jeffersonian." Angela assured her that DC was home for the Hodgins family, so no worries.

Angela got down to business. "So ladies. I understand we're here to discuss 'Operation Booth'?" Mary grinned and looked to Brennan, who was rolling her eyes. "Temperance and I have been talking about Booth for over two months now. She told me that you have always encouraged her to start something with him." Angela interjected. "Damn right I have! Mary, if you could see these two up close on a daily basis the way I have, you would know that they have been fooling themselves for several years."

Mary looked to Temperance and smiled. "I'll let you get your turn in a minute. But let me catch Angela up on the progress we've made." Brennan gave her a wry smile and sat back in her chair with her arms folded across her chest. Mary chuckled and dived in. "We've boiled it down to two issues. The first one is that she didn't believe that love could be forever. Apparently, she and Booth have battled over that concept fairly often." Angela nodded. "Oh yeah, they have. Sometimes loudly." Mary continued. "I think we've put that one to bed. We have had several philosophical discussions on these concepts, and I've pointed to my long, happy marriage. Temperance has admitted to me that she has felt that she was in love with Booth for several years now."

Angela sat up straight and looked over to Brennan. "What? Sweetie, you've never admitted that to me!" Brennan pursed her lips. "I didn't even want to admit it to myself, so I could hardly admit it to you. But, of course, I thought it would fade with time." She held up both hands, palms up. Mary jumped back in. "We've both." She looked across at Brennan and they both nodded. "We've both come to the conclusion that her feelings are real and true and sustainable. In the years that she has had these feelings, the two of them have spent an inordinate amount of time together - much more than the norm for a romantic couple or even a work partner. Temperance says that, not only haven't those feelings faded, they've actually grown stronger. Therefore, we have concluded that this is not simply chemical - this is her heart speaking - her metaphorical heart, of course."

Angela put both of her hands over her chest. "Ohhhhhh Sweetie! My heart is bursting right now. I've tried to tell you for so long that you love him and you're finally there." She looked right at Mary. "And I can tell you - Booth is just as smitten. I could see that he was hurting the last few months, and shortly before we flew out of DC, Bren finally told me why. But Bren - he would forgive you anything." Brennan looked skeptical. "I hope you're right Angela."

Mary took over again. "Right. Here's the other issue we need to resolve. Temperance believes that she can't be emotional enough for Booth. She tells me that he has a big heart and is very romantic. But she worries about the fact that she has spent so many years tamping down her emotions - starting with the disappearance of her parents. She's afraid that she won't be able to meet his emotional energy and that eventually he will want to be with someone who can."

Angela looked to Brennan with a frown. "Oh, honey. Four years ago, I might have been able to buy that. But you have changed so much in the time you've been with Booth. I know he is always teaching you how to let yourself feel and not lock away those emotions. And I know you've also learned just by watching how he deals with his emotions. Plus, I think I've had some influence on you in those areas myself."

Brennan sat up in her chair. "Oh, Angela. Of course you have helped me tremendously. And I think you're right. I think I have learned a lot from Booth. But have I learned enough? Do you think he would be happy with me, or would he be frustrated?" Angela shook her head. "Sweetie. Booth is mad about you. If you were to call him tonight and tell him you love him, he would consider going AWOL to get there. And you have to realize this. Once you begin a romantic relationship with him, I think your emotional energy will go through the roof. I really, truly don't see this as a concern."

Brennan decided it was time for her to get her thoughts on the table. "Okay. I concur with Mary that my feelings for Booth are true. While I still have an issue with 'forever', I think I'm ready to take the plunge and give him 'the foreseeable future'." Angela chuckled. "I think he'll take that Sweetie." Brennan continued. "I'm still uncertain about my emotional energy, but the two of you seem to think I can meet Booth with an acceptable level. I guess if I'm going to take the plunge, I should just go 'all in' as Booth would have said in his gambling days."

Mary and Angela both shouted out and started clapping their hands. Brennan looked back and forth to them with a big smile. She felt so relieved, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "So, nine months from now, I will meet Booth at the coffee cart on the Mall and tell him that I'm in love with him. It will be very difficult to wait that long, but this is something that needs to be done in person."

Mary and Angela looked at her in horror. Angela found her voice first. "You can't wait nine months to tell him!" Mary agreed. "Oh Temperance, you have to find a way to get to him sooner than that." Brennan looked exasperated. "Well, what am I supposed to do? I can't ask him to go AWOL and come here. I don't think it would be prudent of me to fly to a war zone - and I doubt the military would allow it anyway."

Angela leaned closer to her camera. "Okay, we have to brainstorm this. But first, let's talk about why it needs to be done now. Bren, do you remember that movie we watched together last year - When Harry Met Sally?" Brennan nodded. "Yes, the one where they kept insisting they were best friends and everyone thought they should be a couple?" Angela let out a belly laugh. "Yeah! Sound like any couple we know?" That got Mary laughing. Angela went on. "Do you remember that at the end of the movie, he realized he was in love with her and went running to her at the New Year's Eve party?" Brennan nodded. "And what did he say to her when he found her? 'When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.' That's you and Booth, honey. You've wasted too much time already."

Mary jumped in. "That's an excellent analogy Angela. But I have another, different reason we need to act now. Ha! I said 'we' as if all three of us were doing this." Brennan interrupted. "But it is all three of us doing this. I would never be at this point without the two of you encouraging me. So, Mary, why do you say 'we' have to act now?" Mary took a breath. "Think about this Temperance. Booth is on an Army base with probably hundreds of people. When the two of you parted, you had turned down his advances and he told you he was going to move on. He hasn't heard from you in three months. What if, say three months from now, he starts talking to a female soldier he has seen on base for the last several months? The more they talk, the more they realize they are looking for the same things in life. He will still have six months there. Six months is a long time. They could fall in love, and when you meet him on the Mall, she could be with him as his girlfriend, fiancé, or even wife. You would be heartbroken. Inconsolable. Because you could have avoided the heartbreak by acting - to start the rest of your life right now."

Mary looked over at Temperance and saw that there were tears in her eyes and she was breathing heavily. The words came out very softly - almost a whisper. "I can't lose him now. After all it's taken to get here."

Angela took charge. "That's not going to happen Bren. I know you think this should happen face to face, but needs must. You need to write him a long email spelling out the evolution of your thinking. Maybe apologize for turning him down the first time? And at the end of the email, see if he has the ability to do a video call with you so you can discuss it face to face. Maybe you won't be in the same room, but it's as close as you're going to get." Brennan was thoughtful. "Maybe not tell him all in the email? Just write and ask him to set up the video call and tell him then?" Angela shook her head. "My opinion. And my opinion only. You need to write it down. You need to take 24 hours to decide what you are going to say, and this will allow you to edit as you compose the email. You're a professional writer Sweetie - go with your strengths."

Brennan looked over at Mary. Mary nodded in agreement. "I think Angela is right. If you want our help, we can look over what you write. Or you can keep it private. If you need advice about a paragraph or two, just reach out to either of us. But as Angela said. You are a professional writer. You will find the words. Just remember to write from the heart." Angela piped in. "We're here for you sweetie - whatever you need." Mary looked at Brennan sitting next to her and took her hand. "Why don't you start thinking about what you want to say tonight? And take the day tomorrow to write it. We have a very light workload tomorrow and I can handle it with no problem. But I think you need to set a deadline for it. I don't want to see you procrastinate and I don't think it should take days to complete." She looked at Angela on the monitor. "What do you say we set a goal that you hit "Send" by…say…11:00 tomorrow night?" Angela nodded her approval. Angela had a thought. "Oh, wait! Make sure to attach a 'read receipt' to the email so you know when he has opened it. You might find yourself waiting days for a reply and fretting over it, when it turns out he is out on a multi day maneuver and hasn't been able to get to his computer." Mary and Brennan both agreed that it was a smart idea.

Brennan took a deep breath. "You both have very logical points. I could have never done this without you." The three of them chatted for a few more minutes and then disconnected the call. Mary was going to head to her quarters so that Brennan could sit and begin thinking about what she was going to say in her email. She hugged Mary goodbye and told her that this might be the most consequential thing she will ever write in her life. Mary smiled and nodded in agreement and left her to begin. Temperance was glad that Mary had given her the next day off because she was afraid she might not get much sleep tonight.