The wind was blowing in a cool breeze as night began to take its place over the ocean.

The search party had been at Three Brothers Rock for hours, scouring the sea, observing the bottom of the water, and peering behind every rock in search of any signs of life. They hadn't stopped since they left but no matter what they did, their search seemed to lead to absolutely nothing. The sea had remained exactly the same, empty and apathetic, with the same shades of blue, the same waves and the same sounds of splashing that repeated endlessly. Nothing changed. Everything was completely identical just as when they arrived and Lo'ak was still nowhere.

Jake rode his sturak followed closely by Neteyam as they searched together across the blue expanse that almost made him lose his mind. Worry was all-consuming for the Sully family and Jake was anything but an exception to the rule as he felt his veins throbbing painfully in unbearable anguish. His face was stuck in a constant frown and during all this time his gaze scanned the horizon again and again never seeing anything like a blind man navigating in the dark.

Jake didn't understand. They had done everything to find Lo'ak. Everything. They had deployed all the means they had and there were enough volunteers to cover almost the entire region. Moreover, if he also counted Neytiri who was flying on her ikran from the sky, there was normally no area that had not been seen and searched at the same time. But despite all of this, there was still nothing, and failure after failure, the passage of time felt more and more like a grip clutching the vital organs in his chest that only gradually tightened with each passing minute.

Where the hell could he be ?

Jake pressed the button on the communicator around his neck. "Son, do you copy ? Lo'ak ?! If you copy, please answer", he said in anguish as he waited for an answer that never came just like all his previous attempts.

He didn't even know if Lo'ak had his communicator on him when he last saw him. Jake remembered seeing him with something around his neck but the image was blurry and vague in his memory. It could be his usual necklace with the claw of ikran or any other jewelry but he couldn't be sure and it was pure torture not knowing if his son didn't answer because he didn't have the means to do it or if he just wasn't in position to.

Damn it.

Jake pressed again unable to bring himself to stop even with the doubt that his son could even hear him. "Lo'ak, everyone's worried about you. We're all looking for you. Please answer us," he begged with a tight voice.

Nothing.

His fingers were shaking in spite of himself as he started again. "Son...please answer me...", he whispered in a weary breath as only silence remained accompanied by a few magnetic crackles that appeared from time to time.

Still nothing.

His eyes closed in defeat as he dropped his hand to his saddle before squeezing it tightly to hide his trembling fingers. At first, Jake had thought to find his son in no time like every time he disappeared mysteriously without telling anyone. Lo'ak often did that after all. He used to worry them all and to add a few wrinkles to his poor parents' faces before reappearing completely unscathed with only a few excuses to offer. It always happened this way usually so he thought to himself, why would this time be any different ?

Oh Eywa... He was so wrong to have thought that.

Jake felt like his ribcage was cracking like glass as reality slowly overcame denial. He couldn't help remembering the blood from the ilu's wound and the far too long hours of searching that had never turned up any leads. Something bad had happened. Something really really bad. He had known that from the depths of his guts for a long time now, but this time he was slowly realizing that there might not be a good ending to this story like in the past.

He must have come too late, he repeated himself like a self-inflicted punishment, and worst of all, he had failed to protect its own child.

Hiding his panic was getting harder and harder as Jake felt the hope of finding Lo'ak slowly fade. No matter how determined or desperate he was, Lo'ak seemed to be absolutely nowhere as if he had never been here in the first place. There was not a trace of him, no armband, no necklace, not even a single pearl from his hair. Nothing. Jake didn't know what else to do but search and it horrified him more and more to feel so helpless.

This wasn't supposed to happen, he thought. None of this should have happened.

They were supposed to be safe here. It was for this reason that they had left the Omaticaya clan after all. For safety. Leaving the forest was never an easy choice, it was their home, all his children had ever known, but despite this, with the war and the constant raids, he knew what he had to do to protect his family and the only solution he had found was to flee somewhere else.

But then, why did things have to go like this ? All this just because Lo'ak had wanted to defend his sister, really ? It may not have been the right way to act, but it was for a good thing that Lo'ak had wanted to fight. That was what Jake had taught him and his siblings after all. The Sullys stick together, they support and protect each other. They are a family. But, even with his teachings, what had Jake been doing during that time ?

He failed.

Jake swallowed the guilt in his throat like acid burning him from the inside. Protecting his family was a father's duty and he hadn't even been able to do that. If he hadn't ordered Lo'ak to apologize to the Tonowari's oldest, none of this would have happened. Lo'ak would have stayed in the reef with his brother and sisters and they would all be safe as he had so wished.

He had been too hard on him, again. Neytiri often told him that he acted more like a commander than a father to his son and, even though he thought he was doing this to protect them all, deep down he knew it was wrong. Jake was aware of his flaws and he had tried to improve himself, many times, but it was so hard for him to let go of his worries that he had never succeeded. Now he regretted it. He regretted it almost more than anything. He should never have ordered him to go and apologize for defending himself and Kiri. It was all his fault and Lo'ak was now paying the price.

It was his fault. His fault. His fault. His fault-

"Dad !"

Jake jumped in surprise before quickly turning around with his ears pricked up towards Neteyam who was staring into the distance with narrowed eyes and definitely concerned. "What ?" he asked worriedly.

"I think I saw something there," the boy said, pointing to a rock that the waves regularly hit.

His gaze drifted to the indicated spot as his heart suddenly started beating faster. "What did you see ?"

"I-I'm not sure...", Neteyam muttered as if afraid of making a mistake. "But I thought I saw a silhouette over there"

Jake could almost hear his eardrums beating along with his pulse when Neteyam finished that sentence. A lead. They finally had a lead. It was the only thing he could think about at the moment and his flesh burned as his mind was suddenly awakened. He had to go see. He had to do it now, or else he wasn't sure he'd be able to breathe again.

"Let's go check it out," Jake said hastily before clicking his tongue to make his tsurak move.

Waves splashed around him as he and Neteyam approached the rock. It wasn't really far, about thirty meters at most, but, according to Jake, the journey seemed far too long, especially when the last ounces of hope he had were hanging by a thread. He knew it was his last chance before he was completely drained of energy and he prayed with all his being that this lead would finally be the right one. He wasn't sure he could survive another failure otherwise.

Jake jumped off his tsurak as soon as he was close enough to the rock before climbing it as fast as he could. He had to be there this time. When he was going to cross this rock, Lo'ak was going to be there, right in front of him. He will be alive and unharmed and Jake will finally be able to hug him just like he should have for so long. Lo'ak will be there, safe, in his arms and he will never let him go again.

Never.

By the time he was in the middle of the rock, Jake saw a figure coming out of the water, it was small, with black hair and he felt his heart beat wildly as he approached it at all speeds. "LO'AK!", he called out in panic but when the silhouette finally lifted its head, he stopped short when he met blue irises that looked nothing like his son's golden eyes.

It wasn't Lo'ak.

Footsteps approached behind his back. "Tsireya ? What are you doing here ?", Neteyam asked with a surprised and slightly disappointed voice.

The girl pulled herself up a little higher on the rock as she pushed her hair back from in front of her face. "Aonung explained everything to me about what happened. I wanted to help so I came as soon as I could," she explained with a sad look as she observed the two members of the Sully family, then her eyes fell on Jake as deep grief reflected in them. "I'm sorry to have misled you...", she apologized with lowered ears.

Jake remained silent as he stared into space. He couldn't speak let alone respond to the girl. He had thought... it was him. He had expected the wave of relief that should have passed through him the moment he was supposed to find Lo'ak but instead he felt even worse than before, like his world had just come crashing down.

Failure. Once again.

Seeing that Jake did not react, Neteyam approached Tsireya to reassure her. "Don't apologize for that. It's not your fault," he put a gentle hand on her shoulder while giving her a weak smile. "But...since you were looking for him. Did you manage to find something ? Anything ?" he asked with uncertainty and fear.

Tsireya's expression darkened at the question but, to the surprise of the two Omaticayas, she nodded before approaching the edge of the water. Jake's attention was fully focused on the young Metkayina and apprehension twisted his stomach as she grabbed something in her hands before showing it to them.

"It's...the crossbow my brother gave him. It's not whole and some pieces are missing, but since Aonung told me about it, I'm sure it's his," she said as she tried to glue the pieces of wood back together to reform the weapon.

Jake walked slowly towards the girl as if he couldn't believe his eyes. They had combed the whole fishing area several times. Dozens of adult metkayinas had also searched this place and a young fourteen-year-old teen had just realized more than any of them. It was a miracle, he thought, but as he looked at the condition of the crossbow, he quickly realized that it could just as well be a curse.

What could have broken it like that ?

"Where did you find it ?" he asked as he grabbed what was left of the fishing implement that Tsireya gently handed to him.

"I found it at the bottom of the water over there," she waved her hand out to sea, "It was covered in a lot of debris and I had a hard time collecting all the pieces but I took the necessary", she said.

Jake inspected the crossbow and his hands began to shake as he took in the damage. The tool was completely broken. The rope that was supposed to be tied at each end was cut and the wood that made it up had like been crushed. This discovery did not bode well and he did not know which was worse between nothing and a concrete proof that his son had been in danger.

With the ilu's injury and now this... What other horrors were they going to find in all this mess ?

Jake cleared his throat trying to contain himself. "Have you found anything else ?" he growled uneasily.

Tsireya shook her head with a pained frown. She looked almost as upset as he did as tears began to form at the corner of her eyes and his heart sank slightly at the sight. Jake remembered that she and Lo'ak often spent their time together since Tonowari had chosen her to teach the customs of their people to his children. They even seemed inseparable from what he had seen and knowing that his friend was missing must have made her really worried. He wished he could say that everything was going to be okay and that she shouldn't cry but that would be a lie and he couldn't do that.

Jake let out a deep and heavy sigh. What were they going to do now ?

He should probably start by telling Neytiri about what they had found, he thought as his fingers moved up to his neck before pressing the button on his communicator. They had promised to tell each other what they might find before to leave after all and anyway, she was the first person he wanted to inform.

"Neytiri", he called.

Magnetic sounds echoed before his wife's voice answered in his earpiece. "My Jake ! Did you find him ?"

Jake closed his eyes, his heart aching at the spark of hope in her voice. "No...but we found the crossbow that Lo'ak had when he disappeared. I think you should take a look for yourself. We're on a rock to the north of the cliff. We're waiting for you"

"Okay... I'll be there as soon as possible", Neytiri answered mournfully before the communication stopped and Jake exhaled tiredly through his nose.

She wasn't going to like what she was going to see but she had to know, he thought as his eyes closed in apprehension of his wife's reaction.

May Eywa help them for what was to come. They all terribly needed it.

"It's my fault," Neteyam said suddenly after a moment of silence and a shiver ran through Jake's spine as those words took root in his brain.

Taken aback, Jake opened his eyes before looking at his son in disbelief. "What-"

"You told me to keep an eye on him and I didn't," Neteyam had his hands on his face as he covered his eyes as if trying to hide, "I should have been with him. It was my responsibility to watch him. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault," he said as his breathing seemed to quicken.

Jake felt his heart break for good at what he said and he put the crossbow down before slowly approaching his son. "Neteyam...", he said sadly.

Jake gently pushed the boy's hands away so he could see his face and he felt his blood run cold with shock when he noticed that his cheeks were completely wet with tears. Neteyam never cried. He hardly ever did, and had done so since he was all little. He always acted so much older than himself that Jake sometimes forgot how young he really was. He was only a fifteen-year-old boy, just a child who shouldn't be given so much responsibility and duty.

Jake looked into his son's golden irises and he could finally see how the corners of his eyes looked red and how dark circles seemed to stand out on his skin. He looked so exhausted. Since when did Neteyam carry all this load on his back ? When was the last time he had seen him cry ? Why hadn't he realized how much his son was suffering in silence ? He wondered with growing horror as he saw the boy's distress.

Jake also felt like he could start crying at any moment and he wasted no time in hugging his son as guilt crushed his chest. "No, no, no. God, don't say that. It's not your fault, not at all," he said with the most conviction he could muster. "You are not responsible for what happened, you shouldn't believe that"

"B-but, you told me to watch him. I'm the oldest…and—", the boy sniffled trying to wipe back the tears that came back each time and Jake hugged him even tighter unable to bear to see him like this.

"It's not your fault," he whispered into the embrace and Neteyam finally melted against him as sobs shook his shoulders. "It's not your fault", he repeated without knowing what to say other than the truth itself.

They were just children. Children who were still learning to understand the world around them but yet they had already been pushed to act like adults. What had he done that his kids had to live through this ?

Jake opened his eyelids over Neteyam's shoulder as his pupils rested on the sea. His heart felt like stone, heavy and cold, and somehow it hurt. It was a throbbing and aching pain that made him feel like the worst person in the world as his son cried in his arms from all the pressure he had put on him.

What a stupid father he was for doing that.

Neytiri was right. She was always right. He should have listened to her when she talked about the welfare of their children. He didn't know how but she always knew better how they felt, like an innate gift she had inherited from nature itself. Jake didn't know if it was growing up as a human that made feelings more complicated for him or if the natives were just more empathetic, but he definitely wasn't good at it. It was a fact and he had had all the evidence necessary to demonstrate it during the events of the past few hours.

Neytiri... how can I fix this ? he wondered as he stroked his son's back in comforting circles. Lo'ak. Neteyam. He had been so hard on them…

Jake felt his eyes burn as he desperately tried to keep the tears from escaping. He had to stay strong for his family. If he allowed himself to be overwhelmed by his emotions, he would no longer be able to help anyone and he would never forgive himself if such a thing happened. There was still too much to do to give up, but with this last lead, he felt like he was stuck at a dead end. Once Neytiri will finally be here, he still won't know what to say to her or what they were going to do next and it was slowly killing him from the inside to feel so weak and helpless. Lo'ak needed him, he had needed him hours ago and there he was, doing nothing but fighting back his own tears.

He was pathetic, he thought. Completely pathetic.

Eyes still open, Jake noticed Tsiyera in his field of vision. Tears streamed freely down her face as she watched them with silent compassion and it wasn't long before she realized that Jake had noticed her. Ashamed that she had stared at them during this vulnerable moment, the girl quickly looked away to give them some privacy, but as she stared into the distance, her pupils seemed to suddenly stop at a fixed point, as if she had just noticed something abnormal.

Intrigued, Jake followed an invisible line to what had caught her eye before noticing a figure floating on the sea heading straight for them. From here, he could see a tattooed man with long and wavy black hair who was riding a tsurak and Jake squinted to make out the person's shape better before frowning when he recognized who it was.

Tonowari ? What was he doing here ?

Pulling away from Neteyam created a sickening twist in his chest, as if he was giving up a part of his heart, but it was necessary if he wanted to understand why the Metkayina's chief was heading towards them at this moment. He didn't know why Tonowari was there and even though his mind provided him with an abundance of possibilities, Jake felt unable to form a coherent thought about it, as if an unconscious part of his brain was preventing him from doing so for fear of the answer. All he could be sure of was that it had to be important for him to bother traveling to find them.

Jake approached the edge of the rock to meet the Olo'eyktan and once he was close enough, he reached out to hoist the man up so he could join them. Tonowari now stood directly in front of him and a grim look crossed his face as his forehead was creased into several lines and his lips were pressed together in deep contrariety which made Jake even more anxious than he already was.

Jake's ears stuck to the back of his head. "Did something happen ?" he asked as bile seemed to rise in his throat.

The metkayina remained silent for a moment longer, as if afraid to announce the news he had come to bring, but when he seemed about to answer his gaze fell behind him and his pained expression suddenly became surprised before to change into anger. " Daughter. What are you doing here ? You were supposed to stay in the village with your mother," he growled harshly.

Tsireya had her ears completely lowered at her father's dry tone but her gaze tried somehow to confront Tonowari's. "My friend has disappeared. I had to help, I-I couldn't just sit there doing nothing," she tried to justify herself with a shaking and pleading voice.

The Olo'eyktan seemed all but happy with this answer but as he took a step forward to scold his daughter, Jake decided to interrupt him by standing between them and placing a hand on the na'vi's chest. Now was not the time for such things, not when Lo'ak's life was at stake and especially not when Tonowari looked like he was about to tell him something important.

"Tonowari," he said firmly, giving him a look wanting to be clear. "What did you come to tell me ? »

The metkayina inhaled deeply through his nose to calm himself as he took his eyes off his daughter and his face resumed the same expression it had when he came to meet him. "I'm sorry Jake, about your son...I'm terribly ashamed about what happened and I understand your pain, but we must go back"

Jake almost felt his heart stop. "What- what do you mean ?" he whispered with a tight throat.

Tonowari looked horribly pained before continuing. "It's been hours Jake. There are too many of us to stay at sea overnight. This could easily attract creatures that hunt in the dark and we are not equipped for that. It's not safe to stay here any longer."

" What ?! But what about Lo'ak ? We still haven't found him !", Neteyam exclaimed beside him as if the man's words had whipped him. There were still traces of his sorrow on his cheeks and his voice showed a panic that he hadn't known about him until now.

The metkayina sighed sadly. "I've been putting this off for as long as I could but it's time. We'll continue the search tomorrow morning, as soon as dawn shows up. That's all I can offer," he looked at Jake, "I'm sorry but I can't risk more people."

Neteyam turned to him with distraught eyes. "Dad, we can't leave now. Lo'ak- he- we have to find him. He still needs us. We can't abandon him like that !" he begged him desperately.

Jake was staring into space without being able to answer and his ears were ringing as if an explosion had taken place not far from there. He was there and yet his mind seemed so far away at the same time. He couldn't think of anything, he couldn't feel anything either. Jake was so lost in his mind, as if he had been taken prisoner in his own head, and Neteyam's pleas seemed to be confused in a jumble of incomprehensible sounds that only made his headache grow worse.

He hadn't found Lo'ak. No one had and now it was too late.

It was too late.

And he had failed.

Looking at his father's devastated face, Neteyam gradually seemed to realize what was about to happen and his tears multiplied as he stopped speaking. The silence was suddenly heavy and choking as Jake tried to process the information he had just received while remembering how to breathe. He couldn't move as if his body had been petrified and his chest looked like it was about to implode from the inside. The only thing that finally brought him back to the present was the sound of the recognizable flapping wings of an ikran and it was like a rock had just crashed into his insides.

Oh no…

"Jake !" Neytiri called before landing on the rock. She climbed down from her ikran with agility before running towards them but her steps slowed quickly when she noticed the tension that filled the air. " What is going on ?" she asked, frowning at him and Jake swallowed hard knowing what was about to happen.

Tonowari's eyes fell on him begging him not to make things more complicated and Jake wanted to refuse and scream against everything, but instead he nodded before his legs moved on their own as if he was on autopilot. He didn't want to leave now. He didn't want to give up the search. He would stay here alone if he had to, all night and even whole days, but he knew it wasn't about him, Neytiri or even Neteyam. It was about the safety of the group, of the people, and he understood that. The kids had to be brought back to safety with or without Lo'ak even if it made him sick to admit it.

There was only a meter between them and Neytiri's ears were lowered as her tail unconsciously whipped the air seeing the resigned face of her husband. "Jake ? What is happening ? "

Jake's eyes were watery as he cupped the face of the woman he loved. Saying the words he was supposed to say was almost impossible, they were so unbearable, especially when he looked at Neytiri's worried and almost fearful gaze, but he had to do it because Neytiri might be the heart but he was the pillar of this family. He made the tough decisions when no one was able to, even if it meant denying his own feelings. He was sacrificing himself so his family wouldn't have to. This way, he will be the only one to bear the weight of the guilt.

He could do it, he had to. He tried to convince himself before finally taking the plunge.

"We have to go back," he whispered after a moment as his thumb gently stroked his mate's cheek.

" What ?" Neytiri's eyes searched his as if she couldn't believe he was serious. " No. I won't go back"

"Neytiri—" he whispered but she jerked away from his touch as she shook her head.

" No no no. We're talking about our son. I'm not going back until I find him", she said angrily and Jake again tried to reach for her to calm her down but she stopped him by raising a hand to keep him away.

Jake knew it wasn't going to be easy, it was even harder than he thought, but he kept going, even though those words seemed to make his throat bleed, even though his soul seemed to tear in several pieces. "It's not safe and you can hardly see anything now, it's too dark. You won't find anything..." He tried to convince her but it seemed to upset her even more as she took a few steps away from him taking her head in her hands.

"You can't say that ! You can not !", she almost screamed as her eyes filled with tears, "it's our child ! He's somewhere, lost, and we're the only ones who can help him. You can't seriously want to leave him..."

"Believe me...I don't want to do it, I want anything but that. I would sail the whole sea if I could, but it is necessary," he said with clenched fists. "We'll keep looking tomorrow. At the moment, there is nothing we can do…"

Tears were now falling down Neytiri's cheeks as her face expressed nothing but pain. Her amber eyes scanned his face for a few more seconds then moved to Neteyam who was far from looking better than her as his face was just as wet as hers and that was when she seemed to break down. Her legs gave out and her knees fell to the ground as she let out a broken sob and Jake immediately ran to her side to wrap his arms around her.

Neytiri's cries were heartbreaking and each one of them tortured him like the worst wound that had ever been inflicted on him. He hadn't seen her cry like that in years, since the destruction of Hometree and the death of her father and he was cursing himself and his stupid decisions that had led them to this moment. No words could comfort her as they were simply non-existent and he hoped with all his heart that he could take some of her pain through their embrace, however small that might be. He wanted to be useful, to finally be able to help someone but he knew he wasn't even close to such a thing.

" My son. My son…" she sobbed into his ear and Jake buried his face in the crook of her shoulder to move closer to her.

"I know…" he said as a tear escaped despite his best efforts to contain it.

He could only understand the pain she was feeling right now. Their son, their child, their baby. They hadn't found him and now they couldn't do anything about it and it hurt, it hurt so much. They were connected more than ever at that moment because during this dark night, they shared the same pain.

Lo'ak, please forgive us...