HANA

by Rainyday9090

For the longest time I studied revenge to the exclusion of all else. I built my first torture chamber in the dark vaults of imagination. Lying on bloody sheets in the Healing Hall I discovered doors within my mind that I'd not found before, doors that even a child of nine knows should not be opened. Doors that never close again. I threw them wide. Revenge is what I want.

50. Chapter 50

Noir ay, ay (이제 없어 너와)

Noir ay, ay (이제 없어 너와)

The loud song from the speakers seemed to bother only Jandi, who was busy wondering why it had to be this loud. The fancy store, not only the music but also the smell, was always too strong for Jandi, who gets uncomfortable in these stores. Not just the store but being in this type of fancy mall was by itself a bit abnormal for the girl who buys everything she wears from the sale section in the stores in her neighborhood. The mall Eun had dragged her to, the two trains and bus they had to take to get here, should have given her a clue that they were going somewhere she wouldn't feel comfortable. Her clothes she never pays attention to, being reminded of it was never a fun experience. At least it was mid-day on a Thursday, and there weren't that many people.

Her eyes from the carpet underneath the sofa she was sitting on were sent up to the pictures of the models around the dressing rooms, one of which Eun was in. The tall women in the pictures and their clothes should have been her focus, but it was their smiles. They looked happy. So did the women she saw going in and out of the dressing room. She had found another reason why she didn't belong there. Her eyes returned to the seat next to her; she thought about all the items Eun had picked out for her she had said no to. Yesterday evening they spent together, Eun used most of it to convince Jandi to say yes to the favor Jihoo had asked her. It had taken the night and even morning before she got somewhat of a yes. Eun, more excited about the whole thing, had planned their day, which was full of shopping.

" What do you think?" Coming from behind one of the curtains, Eun asked Jandi, who quickly turned to face Eun.

" Looks good," was all she could say as she scanned the lavender sundress Eun had picked out for both of them.

"Just good? It even has pockets." Eun twirled around to show the back. And that was when Jandi found the issue with this one. The single straps holding it up, which would expose most of her chest and arm, were fine, but the straps being the only thing covering most of her back was an issue.

" I am not wearing that?"

" Why not?" Eun knew the answer as she used the other mirror to see how much her back was exposed. It was only half of her back that was exposed but even that was too much for her friend. It had taken the whole morning and afternoon to convince her to show her arm and be okay with dresses with straps. Why she was only comfortable wearing dresses when she was out on a hunt? Jandi didn't do a good job explaining it to Eun, who had asked but didn't get a clear answer. She wasn't fully aware of who her friends were to begin with, so explaining to her how Jandi would do anything for her revenge was useless. It was easier to put on those dresses when the goal was to get information or look for the people she needs to find before she takes her last breath. That was the only acceptable reason she would try to look at herself in the mirror and try to make herself look pleasing towards others. Whenever she had a choice, wrapping herself up to ensure no part of her was exposed was a subconscious choice that symbolized the life she wanted.

" You're going to have to show some skin. We are going on a cruise." Eun started adjusting the straps to see if they could be raised.

" Or we can not go."

" You already said yes, and we are going." Eun turned around and warned Jandi.

" Why can't we just wear our regular clothes? It's not like these people will care what we wear," Jandi, crossing her arms and sitting back, asked.

" Why does it have to do with them?"

" Why can't we dress up and have fun for ourselves?" Eun raised an important question.

" Why do you care so much about them?" She followed up with an even more critical question.

" I don't"

" If you don't, why do you think we are doing this for them? I want us to have fun people are going to be wearing limited edition expensive clothes we can't even afford and you think these dresses are for them" Eun, turning her attention back to the dress, went on.

"This is for us. This might be the only time we go on a luxury cruise, so I want us to enjoy our time and make great memories."

" Also, didn't you say you wanted to do something special for the one who invited you?"

" The least you can do is look cute for him," she added, turning around to give Jandi a wink.

"I am sure he is excited to spend time with you away from school; why not put some effort into it for him?" Eun had found the right excuse to get Jandi to participate.

"He did so much to help you and even paid for those cruise tickets," she added as she walked back into the dressing room. Leaving Jandi to her thoughts after what she said was necessary. What her friend said had sent Jandi back to yesterday and what Jihoo had said as he gave her the envelopes with their tickets. The amount of thought he put into it, she had silently watched as he went on explaining the solution he had found for every issue she might bring up to say no.

"I just wanted us to spend some time away from this campus and thought this would be a great idea. I only have certain events to attend, but I want to spend the rest with you. When I am busy, you can spend time with your friend."

" I mean, you can spend all your time with her if you want to; I just want you to have a great time." And that was how he explained why she had received two tickets.

" The whole red card thing has stopped, and no student is even allowed to talk to you." he shared the latest information she wasn't aware of. She had several questions about how that happened but saved them by letting him go on.

" None of the students will bother you; they are scared of you, and after today," he paused, he didn't need to explain that her not being expelled after what she did was a warning for the rest of the students not to bother the girl who could get away with beating them up.

" The boys won't be there either."

" F4," he added to make it clearer.

" They never go on school trips. I have to because, " he pointed at the title on his uniform.

" They won't be there to bother you."

" It will just be you, your friend and me. On a nice cruise in the middle of the ocean," his enchanting smile followed his most convincing statement. Jandi didn't have the heart to say no; that was how she agreed to think about it.

Once she told Eun after dinner, it was her best friend who was jumping up and down while reading the invitations. The cruise ship she had googled, Eun had dragged Jandi to sit next to her as she read all the amenities on the luxury cruise ship they couldn't afford to even visit for an hour, let alone be on for a private event for days. She phrased it as the opportunity of a lifetime before she started begging for Jandi to say yes. What better way to wrap up our senior year? She had asked before she switched her tactic to focus on doing this for Jihoo. And that was how she convinced Jandi. It was all for Jihoo and she had texted him in the morning, saying she would be coming with Eun. He deserved everything; going on a cruise was nothing to all she would do for him if he asked. He was also the main reason Eun had sued to drag her to the mall after they went through both of their closet. Looking good for him was also the reason behind the dresses they had bought as they left the store. Three more stores to look for dresses; Jandi was adding up the money they were spending while Eun was in charge of choosing the right dress for every event on the schedule.

The last store on their list, Eun, had led them to the sports stores and the swimsuits they would need. Their shopping turned into a game of finding the most revealing swimwear Jandi should wear; they had been picking up bikinis to giggle and laugh at imagining her wearing out in public. Hiding behind their laughs, Eun had snuck one of the fancy black bikinis in the special designer section into her cart. As the best friend, it was her goal to make sure Jandi had at least one piece and she had chosen it to be the green dress from their first store and the bikini she had just picked. Eun, smiling by herself, was already too excited thinking about how the boyfriend would react when he saw Jandi in this. The moment she saw it, she knew it belonged to her friend, and she would find whatever reason to make her wear it once they were on the cruise. The swimsuits they fought over for hours, the easiest purchase was the beach net dress Eun had convinced Jandi were must-haves for these types of events. By the time the clock hit 6 pm, they were out of the mall and heading to the bus station.

While they waited for the bus, Eun was busy making tomorrow's schedule which will start with the bathhouse and end with manicures. Jandi holding the bags just kept shaking her head at everything Eun was adding to the list. She was looking forward to some of the things on the list, but she couldn't show her excitement. The type of being spoiled Eun has been introducing her to, she was already thinking it was too much but enjoyed having even minutes of time to be taken care of. To show it outwardly would require a lot of work and goes against her whole person that wasn't supposed to care about anything else. Her eyes kept on the road; she sat silently. That was until Eun mentioned the name, which always gets her attention.

" Is Junpyo going to be there?" Eun asked after turning her eyes from the delayed train sign to Jandi.

" No. None of the other F4 will be there." The smile on Jandi's face, it was so obvious that she was happy about it. She had thought it was one of the reasons that made it easy to say yes to.

" Is he still sick?"

" I don't know"

" How come you don't know?"

" How would I know? I don't keep in touch with him."

" Why not? Aren't you two friends?" Eun air quoted the word friend.

" Do you believe that?" Jandi smiled as she turned her attention to the sun starting to despair into the dark clouds. The rain they had been able to avoid all day didn't seem like they would avoid it before they got home.

" Do you have his number?"

" Yes"

" Give me his number."

" Why?" her smile disappearing, Jandi asked.

"The least I can do is check on him after what he did," Eun said, looking for her phone and starting to explain.

" He came all the way to check on me."

" He just has a cold; it's not like he will die." Jandi's words weren't well received by Eun, who glanced back at her friend.

" Maybe I can get him something and visit."

" Visit who? Him?" Jandi asked, turning Eun around.

"Yes, who else are we talking about?" Eun said, pulling her arm away, and continued looking for her phone. She had stuffed all the new clothes they had bought into her backpack, so finding anything was hard. After a few minutes of trying, she decided to give up.

"I can't find my phone, give me yours,"

" You are not going to visit him."

" Why not?" she asked as she took the phone Jandi pulled from her pocket.

" What is he saved under ?"

" You are not going to call him with my phone."

" Well, mine is buried under all the clothes, so" she stared back at Jandi, waiting for an explanation.

" I am just calling him," she added as her eyes followed Jandi, who took her phone and started looking for the number saved under jerk.

" Why are you so bothered by him? " Eun pressing the call kept her suspicious eye on her friend.

" I am not bothered by him."

" You are." Eun, leaning back against the wall to give herself more space, kept her eyes on Janid, who she started observing seriously.

" I just don't like him."

" I know that already," Eun replied before she hushed Jandi when the phone was picked up.

" Hello," his almost gone voice couldn't have sounded any sicklier, as the look on Eun's face instantly turned into worry. Before she even said hello back, the worried look on Eun's face has got Jandi's attention.

" Omg, you sound so sick," was the first thing Eun said as she moved the phone to her right ear, away from Jandi on her left side.

" Are you okay? This is Eun, by the way."

" The girl you visited, who is Jandi's

" I know who you are," he interrupted as he pulled the phone away from his face and glanced at the number. The image of Jandi standing against her bike wasn't a hallucination; it was her phone number he had saved with the photo.

" Jandi told me you got sick yesterday, and I wanted to check if you were doing better. It doesn't sound like you are."

" I am not"
" You should be eating lots of soups and hot teas with ginger," Eun, who started listing all she knew about how to get rid of cold, hadn't ignored the look she was getting from her friend.

" You can make it, well not you, but somebody else can make the soup."

"There's nobody," he interrupted her again.

" Don't you have family members or maids?" she asked as she watched the first clear reaction from her friend, who signed for her to stop.

" No,"

" How come you don't have maids? Aren't you rich?" he smiled at her question as he pulled the blanket covering his sick body over his head. His closed eyes, begging to be sent back to sleep, were quick to bring the image of Eun to help him with the confused faces she probably was making as she was asking.

" You should hire somebody to take care of you." Eun glared back at Jandi, giving her a look.

" He has a lot of people hired to do that," Jandi whispered, leaning closer to Eun's other ear.

" Jandi says you have people," she shared, getting an instant gentle slap from Jandi on her shoulder.

" She is not happy I called you," Eun added as she started enjoying the look on Jandi's face, who had fully turned her way.

" She wants you to know she doesn't care, and It was men who wanted to check on you." She got her second slap from Jandi, signaling her to end the call.

" I know"

" He knows you don't care," Eun had shared to get the first frustrated look from her friend, who sent her hands to her hair. This was fun to watch, Eun thought as she kept her eyes on Jandi.

" But seriously, you should eat something good and rest. What did you have for lunch?:

"Nothing," his responses, accompanied by the coughing, had turned the conversation serious.

" You didn't eat lunch. Are you serious?"

" I was asleep" was his short answer for everything she asked about what he was doing to get rid of the cold.

" What are you two doing?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

" We were out shopping for some clothes for the crui," she paused when Jandi slapped her on her shoulders.

" Why are you telling him that?" Jandi whispered

" Why not? it's not like it's a secret." Eun, still holding the phone, spoke loudly.

" I thought you were calling just to ask if he was okay," Jandi whispered. She had thought her voice was low, but he could hear her voice in the back. Even Though he couldn't make out what she was saying, even when he was asleep, her annoyed voice had forced a smile on his face hidden by the blanket. How adorable she was when she was annoyed, the first and probably last smile of his day has been thanks to just imagining how annoyed she was by what Eun was doing.

" Where do you live?" Ignoring Jandi, Eun asked a question that would anger her best friend.

" We are in midtown. Do you know the mall around the MBC news station?" she went on explaining while Jandi started taking deep breaths to calm herself down.

" I don't know"

" I live close to school," he added as he slowly pulled the blanket away from his face and grabbed the water bottle to take some sips. He kept his eyes closed, and even his head was still lying on the pillow he had been on all day.

" Oh, that is not that far from here.'

"Yes, it is," Jandi whispered before Eun pushed her away.

" If you don't mind, I can bring you something to eat," Eun offered, fighting Jandi, who was trying to grab the phone.

" As a thank you for what you did,'' she added as she stood up and moved away from Jandi.

" You don't need to do that." Junpyo, who could hear the push and pull between the two friends, placed the bottle down as he smiled.

" I want to because I." Before Eun finished her sentence, Jandi snatched the phone away.

" She is not bringing you anything." Using her right hand to hold off Eun, Jandi spoke to the phone she raised to her left ear. Finally, her crystal clear voice woke up his eyes, which he hadn't even tried opening for hours. The person his sick dreams had been about all day, he was finally able to hear her voice.

" Hello," his soft greeting had paused Jandi's anger for a second. Eun, pulling her arms away from Jandi, chose to sit down and watch Jandi's focus shift to the sick voice that echoed in her ear.

" You should go to the hospital." was Jandi's suggestion upon realizing how sick he was.

" Or have somebody take care of him," Eun added from the side as she grabbed the small shopping bag they had left on the chair when they were fighting to get the phone.

" How are you?" his question about her throwing her off, Jandi didn't have a fast response.

" I am okay," she said, her eyes fluttering.

" The meeting?" he asked before covering his cough with the blanket.

" It was okay. I am not expelled."

" Thanks to her boyfriend," Eun added loudly. Jandi's eyes quickly turning annoyed came her way as Eun started smiling.

" You should have somebody make you something," she suggested before the conversation stayed on her longer.

" I thought you didn't care."

" I don't," her response was ignored by Eun, who focused more on Jandi's left hand, which was sent to brush her hair back.

" How can you not care after making me like this?" The playful raspy voice, in some ways, was magical as it had the ability to shift the mood to whatever he wanted it to be.

" I did not get you sick," Jandi protested, pointing at herself.

" You said you made him walk in the rain," Eun jumped in; the scary look she got from Jandi wasn't working as she continued.

" You should take responsibility," she added as she jumped away from the bench before Jandi's hand coming for her reached her shoulders.

" I like your friend."

" Of course you do. You both enjoy annoying me."

" You're cute when you're annoyed, that's why," Eun explained, fully unzipping her backpack and looking for her phone.

" Ask him what he wants to eat. There is a great restaurant three blocks from here." Eun went on talking about the food in the background while the two people she had forced to interact with each other were silent. The fact that she couldn't find her phone wasn't an issue until minutes later. Right when she recalled how the last place she saw it was when she placed it on the counter of the sportswear store, she had jumped up. Only her backpack was picked up as she ran away from Jandi while shouting where she was running to and why.

Why and how she ended up at the restaurant, Jandi shook her head as she was reminded of the options Eun had given her. Either she took the food for him, or they went back to the Mall to get Eun's phone and take the food for him together. She had used the excuse of saving time as she decided to be the one to get him the food Eun had recommended. The only reason she chose the first option was to make sure Eun and Junpyo weren't together, which would cause her even more problems.

" Good evening, Miss." The three security men, who by now were used to seeing her and knew exactly who she was here to see, had stood up to greet her. Jandi gave them a full bow and had a small back-and-forth about the rain that looked like it was about to start. With the elevator button she pressed to the penthouse, she was asked for the passwords she had memorized and typed in. Her right hand holding the hot food, while the left had the small shopping bags holding the more delicate cloth Eun had objected to stuffing with the rest of the cloth. Her disbelief she had agreed to do this wasn't even shocking any more. The night they spent together, the breakfast they shared, and even what happened in this house the last time she was here; nothing about this was shocking anymore. If she had thought about it carefully, this was the perfect opportunity to get him to talk, but her annoyance blinded her from thinking of her main job.

The elevator slowed down before coming to a stop and she took a deep breath as she waited for it. The elevator brought her to the thick, bulletproof glass hiding the penthouse; she was asked to enter the password again before the elevator door and the glass wall were both opened. With the slow movements of both doors, her eyes were prepared to find him there but weren't ready for what was waiting for them. Standing by the living room at the other end of the hallway, the man waiting for her did not look like the one she was used to seeing. He always dressed down, but seeing him in his house clothes was different. His cream-colored luxury brand Pajama pants seemed too long as they covered his bare feet.. The Pajama shirt matching the loose pants was still hanging in the closet while he chose to wear a random long-sleeved shirt. The light color cloth he was wearing was adding to how sicky he looked as Jandi's eyes zoomed in on his face. His messy hair he hadn't even attempted to brush down; it was beyond obvious he just left the bed. As quickly as she thought of that, her eyes zoomed out to the whole view of the man and the living room behind him. Sending his hands to his pants, he had just stood there as she walked out of the elevator and into the hallway. He had waited until the elevator left, and the glass door behind her was locked before he said anything.

" Hello," his voice echoed down the hallway.

" Hi," she responded, placing the two small shopping bags on the floor. Even her backpack was placed on the floor before she started removing her shoes. Her eyes glanced his way; she was still analyzing his look and couldn't figure out why she was somewhat bothered by it.

" I am just here to deliver your food," she added as her annoyed voice traveled down the hallway. Junpyo, still standing by the living room, smiled at her.

" I thought you didn't go to school today?" he asked, copying her and scanning her uniform.

" How do you know that?" only picking up the plastic bag containing the food, Jandi started walking slowly down the hallway. The man waiting for her by the other side; her eyes weren't just curious but fascinated as they demanded she get close enough for them to figure out why he looked so different. It wasn't just the loose clothes and messy hair. Nor was it how sick he was.

" Jihoo said you weren't attending school this week."

" Didn't I tell you not to ask people about me?"

" I didn't ask him," he quickly pacified the angry rant she was going to start.

" He just talks about you to whoever listens," he added as his hands in his pocket reacted to her eyes, which didn't seem like they were even blinking while she stared at him. Her adorable uniform, her legging he had cut days ago was switched to another black legging under her skirt that was moving left and right with every step she took. The dimly lit hallway hiding her face; he waited until she was close enough to get a clear look at her. Every step she took bringing her closer to the light; he had taken a deep breath as he allowed everything to go in slow motions while he waited. One look at her striking face and those bewitching eyes was all it took to realize how much he had missed her. The first night they spent together, it hadn't even been 48 hours since they shared breakfast, but here he was already thinking not seeing for that long was too much.

" He does it all the time,"

" Guess he likes you very much," he added, knowing this sentence would make her happy and not as angry as she looked while she walked up to him. The two or three steps between them, Jandi's eyes were still taking in his look while she was trying to hide how happy she was about what was said.

"Kitchen?" she asked as she raised the plastic bag in her hands to his view. She already knew where the kitchen was, but she wanted to ask to be polite.

" That way." his right hand pulled out, he pointed in the direction she would follow. Walking past him, Jandi started heading to the kitchen. Now close enough, her eyes had done another scan of him as she walked past him. Maybe it really was the loose pajamas and bed hair? It has to be them for how soft and comfy he looked. The thoughts wandering off on their own had demanded another look on his face. The quick look he got from her before she walked past him, Junpyo had sent his eyes down to look at what he was wearing before sending his hands to his hair. Did he look bad? The question, as quickly as it formed, was eliminated. He doesn't care. His hands were brought down and returned to his pocket as he turned around and started following her. It wasn't that he didn't care what she thought about his appearance. He just doesn't care about her seeing him like this. In fact, he was glad she did.

A side of him most rarely gets to see; this was just another privilege given to her. Not just when he was dressed down; what he wore at home was something he wanted her to get used to. She had mistakenly assumed this was what he wears when he sleeps but it will take a while to get her used to what he actually wears to sleep. The long-sleeved shirt he had to put on because he was sick; his usual sleepwear never included a top. The girl he had caught carefully examining his neck during the breakfast after their first night together; he was already curious to see how she would react if she ever saw him shirtless. And with that thought, he added another wish to the list. What would her eyes do when she got the chance to see those tattoos of his up close? He had every reason to look forward to it. What was hidden behind that thought, his eyes scanning her uniform had lowered to her hands, which was what his subconscious wanted to inspect his tattoos, not just her eyes. His thoughts he needed to focus on something else were forced to be on the plastic bag containing the food she was holding.

"ha" his smile, which he couldn't hide, turned into a small laugh. What had caused it was how she was not only here to check on him but came with food. The person who claimed to hate him was delivering food for him because he was sick; he couldn't help but smile at that. Apart from Jihoo and Yijeong, nobody had even dared to ask where he was, let alone if he was sick. But even they hadn't shown up at his place with a hot meal. The girl claiming to despise him so much has done it. Should he consider this to be an exceptional treatment? He questioned. He knew her too well to take this as a sign to be hopeful that she might care about him.

" Were you two out shopping?" he asked, taking the opportunity to slow down his walk to admire the view of her in her cute uniform, walking in his living room.

" Yes,"

" For what?" he asked a question he wouldn't get an answer for until later. Ignoring him, she continued her fast walk and entered the kitchen and dining section of the grand penthouse. The dining set and everything else on her right were not given any attention; the open kitchen on her left was her goal as she headed to the middle counter that had the beautiful sink. The plastic bag was placed beside the sink before she started pulling her sleeves up. Some of the spilled soup she was worried about, she was careful as she brought the plastic bag into the sink before she started opening it. How she was doing all this so naturally, only Junpyo was thinking about that as he chose to sit on the tall chairs on the other side of the middle counter. His eyes following everything she was doing; it was interesting how odd this didn't look or feel. His legs crossed, he leaned forward to rest his hands on the counter as he accepted that this was just the start of something they would get used to as part of their weird friendship. On the other side of the counter, Jandi, rinsing the outside of the soup container hadn't wasted even a second to think about the implication of what she was doing.

The soup container she held up; he had only seen her eyes looking around before Junpyo pointed at the right corner to the napkin she was looking for. Two rolls of the napkin were placed on the beautiful marble counter and she placed the soup container down before she opened it to fill the place with the amazing smell. Junpyo, leaning closer to the hot soup, tried to see what was inside but couldn't see much thanks to the spicy looking broth covering everything. Whatever it was, it looked beyond delicious. Her eyes scanning the cabinets below the stove had found the one continuing all the pots. The soup she poured into the medium-size pot, it took a couple of tries before she figured out the stove was an eclectic one and she just needed to push buttons to turn it on. The kitchen she was figuring out on her own, even her confused looks around the place were deemed adorable for Junpyo just watching what she was doing. A day ago, he was celebrating even being given the opportunity to eat with her but now Jandi was making him food in his own kitchen. Something that wasn't even first, but this was the first time he had seen it happen. For the boy who was used to eating food made by hired chefs and staff, there was something intimate about what she was doing. And just like that , another thing was added to his wish list.

The points she was scoring over his heart she had already won over, it was going to hit hard when he realized why everything she was doing for him carried so much weight was because of how deprived he was of any type of care that didn't come with him paying for it. That realization he made before he even entered his teens, it hits hard everytime he is reminded of it. It was always better to distract himself from it and he had found the right way to do so. If she was doing this much when she hated him, what would it be like if she liked him? Would she be making him food from scratch, probably not wearing this uniform? Again, he had to stop himself from entering the fantasy world he couldn't afford to be in.

" Did the school meeting go well?" he found the proper distraction for his mind.

" Yes, it went really well." The hint of a smile, her eyes glanced his way.

" What happened?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back. He was really curious about how she would tell the story of what happened in the meeting he wasn't part of but had heard about in great detail.

" I really thought they were going to expel me. They were prepared to even sue me over it." the side dishes she started pulling out the plastic bags; Jandi kept glancing up with that cute smile on her face.

" But Jihoo" she stopped what she was doing as she looked up and gave him an extended smile.

" Your friend is very special," her beautiful smile accompanied the words; at this point even a blind person could see it on her face, lit by the golden light of the setting sun.

" He worked so hard to make sure I was not expelled." Although her hands returned to what she was doing, her adoration filled eyes and smile were on something else.

" What did he do?" Junpyo asked as he let every positive emotion he had felt since she got here wash away by the reminder that another man had her attention. It would have been easier if he hadn't known that man, but the fact that it was his best friend and somebody he couldn't hate no matter how much he wanted to was making this harder. Jihoo, whom he admires and loves so much, Junpyo knows there is no competing with him. But even if he dared to want to, the game was already won. The girl was blushing and giggling even when talking about him; Jihoo had already won.

" He had these amazing lawyers represent me. They were so good it was unreal," Jandi had gone on without glancing at Junpyo once. In her own happy world, her thoughts were on what happened in that conference room.

" Not only did he get them, he even got them some evidence of what happened." She started opening the cabinets, and she was looking for plates and cups to serve the food in.

" They had pictures of what happened to Eun and me in the hallway. They even had evidence of the fight before. It was so exciting to watch the look on our director's face when they handed him the photos and evidence. They were so shocked." Jandi had gone on missing every reaction on Junpyo's face to what she was saying. His arms still crossed, his reaction was limited to his eyes and the smirks escaping his lips.

" They had all the other lawyers quiet. The parent's lawyers were so scared. You could tell everybody was shocked, even when we walked in." Why everybody was shocked, she had mistakenly assumed it was because she had dared to have lawyers present and not who those lawyers were.

" I never thought I would see the day anybody would threaten the school. It was amazing to see how he was using the right words to dare them to try and expelle me." Her smile got more significant, and it was clear that she really admired the lawyer's work.

" Not only am I not expelled, but somehow he had the boys expelled."

" They are not allowed to return back to school. They are getting their certificate mailed to them. Would you believe that?" her glee-filled eyes looked up as she expected the same type of disbelief from Junpyo, but that wasn't what she got. His fake smile, she still hasn't learned to recognize, that was what she got.

" Jihoo has really gone above and beyond this time, and I really do not know what to do for him." her words had stung right where it hurts the most.

" Eun thinks I need to do something special for him." She brought up the name of the girl he had thought wouldn't cause him problems. His own insecurity leading him to believe Eun would be like everybody who knew Jandi and would definitely advise her to choose Jihoo over him even if dares to compete against his best friend. Eun, who was surprisingly nice to him, he was quick to assume she was team Jihoo. It made sense why the girl who received red cards from the F4 would not choose the leader. That was where his head went and not the fact that nobody knows what he's confused emotions for this girl were.

" He had always stood up for me, but this was something else." With her adorable smile, Junpyo had thought he could fake smile his way through and be able to handle her acting like this while talking about Ji Hoo. One would think it was jealousy but, his jealousy that would need a new measurement type, wasn't even the main issue.

" How so?" he asked, his voice as straightforward as possible. She looked at him before she answered. Junpyo had thought he was aware of what she was hesitating to say but would be surprised by how she had enterparted what happened.

" I don't think I should say."

"What did the lawyers use to threaten them with?" he asked, probing her with the exact question to find out what she was trying not to say. Looking at him again, she still hadn't noticed how he was already aware of the answer.

" Promise me you won't hate him for it?"

" It will take a lot for me to hate my best friend," he responded, his mind focused on the fact that she had just asked him to promise. Does that mean she trusts his promises? Because if she does, that was another major win. There was nobody else he wanted to trust his words more than her.

" He told them what happened the night you sent the boys." She stopped as her worried eyes glanced at him before they were sent to the bubbling soup.

" I don't think he had evidence, but the lawyer was terrific and made the boys confirm it was true. They were so shocked he would dare use that."

" It is so crazy how scary you are." mixing the soup, she stole another glance his way.

"He didn't even have to say your name. The directors agreed to whatever he asked just so your name was not mentioned." The smile she gave him as her eyes stayed longer on him wasn't welcomed.

" It felt unreal to see the school do whatever to protect you in real-time," she added as she returned her focus to the soup.

" I should have asked for more things. I would have gotten so much more if I asked." She covered the lid and turned to the side dishes she had placed on plates.

" What do you want?" His question wasn't sarcastic, but she had assumed it to be as she started laughing.

" I am just shocked he did that." She returned the conversation back to Jihoo.

" He likes you a lot, so wouldn't it make sense for him to do whatever it takes to protect you?" she didn't have a response to his words and had just looked up at him with smiling eyes. She hadn't second-guessed to pay any attention to what his eyes were saying, as she assumed his somewhat annoyed look was because his name was used by the lawyers

" I mean, I am sure nothing would have happened to you, but still. You are one of the few people he loves a lot."

" It says a lot he put you in danger to protect me," she added, hoping to find him agreeing with what she said, and he had, but for a different reason.

" Doesn't that mean he cares about you a lot?" his slight smirk; Jandi had given him a full smile. All the hints she was missing, she truly was blinded by her feeling for Jihoo to use any of her teachings to pick on why Junpyo was feeling some type of way about what she was saying.

" He does, and I don't know what to " she paused, as even her hands stopped what they were doing for a second, and all her focus was on the discussion. She was overwhelmed by how much she was being cared for and she was already running out of words to even explain her feelings about it. It was all too foreign. It was all too new for the girl who had learned to never trust anything that breathes to be good to her. The life she had lived so far, rich men were at the bottom of the list of people she would trust to be good to her. It was natural for her to be worried about every action of theirs but somehow Jihoo had become the exception in just a few months. And what he had done for her this time was beyond what her wounded heart could understand of others being willing to do for her. Even him just liking her was too foreign for her to fully understand why and just accept. She didn't deserve it, the voice in her head was already starting to whisper that.

" Eun was saying how this was a clear sign of how much he likes me." With the small laugh her words had gotten out of him, Junpyo had to shake his head to get rid of the weird feeling taking over. His hands uncrossed, he brushed his hair away from his face.

" I know," she agreed with his laugh as she returned to her smiles.

" It's too much. I seriously need to do something special for him." the to-go containers of the side dishes she rinsed before she started placing them in the trash can.

" You want to do something special for him because of this?" he asked, his arms crossed again.

" Yes. He deserves everything for protecting me like this." She thought underlining what she was saying was necessary to make sure Junpyo understood this was why Jihoo was so special to her.

" I see," was his only response as he had to bite his own tongue from saying what had almost escaped his lips.

" I thought it was the end for me at that school. Could you imagine what would have happened if they had sued me? My life would have been over." She continued the conversation, which was starting to give him a headache.

"Cutting board?" she asked, returning his attention to her. Without any words, he pointed at the cabinet that was hiding all the different types of cutting boards. The small wooden one was her choice. She knew where to get the knife she needed to cut the fresh vegetables that needed to go into the hot soup. The already-cut vegetables rinsed, she had cut them even smaller before adding them to the boiling soup.

" Did you talk to him about it?"

"About what?"

" About the lawyers and all that he did?" she had missed yet another clue as a smirk accompanied his words and defeated-looking eyes.

" I was too busy being happy. What is there to talk about anyway?" Giving him another smile, she turned to place all the vegetables into the soup. The heat lowered to a minimum; her attention was now on the ginger she had washed before she started crushing.

The few seconds of silence were necessary for Junpyo. He had thought things couldn't get worse but had as she opened her lips and asked.

" You know him best, so maybe you can tell me what he likes." She dared to go there, but no matter how annoyed he was by the question, there was no saying no to her requests. Especially not when she was smiling at him and while those eyes of hers were sparkling at him like this.

" Why would I do that?"

" Aren't we friends? Friends help each other out," she added, broadening her smile.

" Why do you think I am doing this?" she pointed at the food.

" Because you don't want your friend around me," he knew her too well and had heard the argument between the two friends.

" and because we are friends."

" Are we?" his hair he brushed behind his right ear, his rhetorical question had stung as he tried to smile it away.

" We are and this isn't even the first time I am getting you food" half of the crushed ginger was added to the soup while the other half was set aside for the tea she had also brought.

" You are the billionaire, but I am the one always buying you food," she said, opening the tea and pouring it into the cup she had brought from the cabinets next to the fridge. She smiled about the observation she had just made.

" I brought you breakfast last time," she added, turning his way.

" Maybe you are right. We aren't friends because you don't do anything for me." Her words had slipped out, and the second she was made conscious of them, her hands had even paused what they were doing as she sent her worried eyes his way.

" I don't want you to do anything." She was quick as she raised her hands and spoke before he said anything.

" You don't let me do anything but then blame me for it" his hair he was brushing, she regretted looking up at him as she was now forced to notice the downhearted look all over him. His woeful eyes, blinking slowly, had finally gotten her attention.

" I was just joking."

" Were you?" the tone of the conversion he was changing. Even the weather had helped him as lighting hit the city in the back. The dark clouds hiding the sun getting ready to set, and the rain they were holding was sending the last warning as the lighting kept hitting.

" I am sure I can't compete with all the stuff you can do, so I would rather we keep our friendship to this."

" Why is it a competition?"

" Why can't I just do something for you just because?" he asked a very important question she didn't have an answer to. Let alone an answer; she didn't even want to accept the question as she lowered her eyes to the tea.

" Friendships need to be mutual. I can't give you anything that will amount to what you can do so frivolously." She started moving the side dishes from the counter to the dining table. She was glad she had something to do to keep her eyes away from him, which were following her as she walked to the dining set.

" I've seen the type of gifts you get for random people." she continued talking so there was no room for the awkward silence that would bring the tension she wasn't fond of. Some of the side dishes were still left on the counter while her fidgeting hands were assigned to find another task so she didn't walk around him while this was the topic . The tea he should have been drinking before it got cold got her attention. She could busy her hands by adding the ginger and lemon to it. The lemon she grabbed, she washed it before it was brought to the cutting board.

" They are not random, and" how soft his voice had turned should have been her cue to prepare for what was coming as she sent her eyes to him.

" Nothing I did for them comes close to what you are doing here right now," he added as he made sure his eyes delivered the true meaning of the words he wouldn't dare say out loud. It was as though he had specific buttons he could press to pause her world and every other thought as his gorgeous eyes finally forced her to recognize how the comfortable home clothes plus the puffy hair were aiding him in convincing her he was nothing like the man she thinks of him as. The new tiny moments of utter silence her thoughts had started providing her when she really looked at him; they were already deemed dangerous as the silence had a melody of its own. A rhythm softly matched to her heartbeat, which somehow was slower whenever his dark eyes looked at her in the fascinating way he did. Her lost eyes on him, her right hand holding the knife, had moved on its own to land against her skin.

" awe" her reaction to the pain signal sent from her left hand; Jandi was in no way prepared for what would happen next as Junpyo, jumping off his chair, came to her side. Thankfully, the knife in her right hand was placed down, but before her right hand grabbed her left to inspect it, Junpyo grabbed her left wrist. What she remembers after her wrist was grabbed happened in slow motion. Her hand raised up; the blood on it wasn't even where her eyes landed. It was on the face that was closer than ever as her index finger was raised. Even when sick, there was no denying how striking his face was whenever it was inches away, and that was precisely what it did. Striking where it mattered. His handsome face, being this close, had instantly blurred out everything out of view. Her powerless eyes, already forced to focus on the one thing they have been avoiding to recognize, would be lowered to what would freeze her whole being.

Her index finger pulled closer; her whole body froze when his parted lips landed on the side of her finger. With his full lips and their soft touch, her finger was pulled in as his lips tightened their grip on her finger. The shock wave that started at the cut of her index finger was as instant as it was sent across every inch of her body and reached her toes in less than a fraction of a second. Her eyes, which had doubled in size, were already on his lips as they witnessed the way his lips had moved again to suck her finger deeper. Any and every thought erased from her mind; it was only tasked with making sure she was breathing, and her heart was beating. Two things that should be done subconsciously, but they were made conscious when his lips landed on her skin. The off rhythm of her breathing she was made aware of; the air she was breathing wasn't helping as it was diluted with the smell she was already too familiar with. Her shaken body, the goal was to protect it from anything foreign, and it was ordered to instantly shut down. But before it even had the opportunity to do so, Junpyo had discovered a trigger she wasn't aware existed.

The moment the tip of his tongue brushed against her skin, her whole body would be sent into an internal frenzy unlike any other. The warmth of his tongue as it glazed over her already sensitive skin; it was beyond terrifying how it was felt across every inch of her skin. Another shock wave sent from her finger; his lips had made sure the wave they were sending across her body had ignited a fire that would make sure to heat up her body that was wearing too many layers to hide it from view but somehow felt like it was bare. As though he hadn't done enough, his eyes were slowly raised to hers while his tongue repeated its slow movement. Those dangerously gorgeous dark eyes she knew not to trust from day one; she was finally given her first proof of why. Accompanying his eyes, the bottom half of his tongue slowly licked the tiny cut that wasn't even sending pain signals anymore. The visceral tremble her whole body experienced, it was felt to her core to deny it.

Her finger she pulled away, her eyes were still on him since she needed a second to accept this was real and happening right now.

"Bathroom" was all she said as she quickly walked past him and started heading in the same direction they had taken to get here. The bathroom on the other side of the house was her goal as she turned her steps to small runs. Her shaken body, she didn't know what to do but had thought the first thing to do was cool it off. The living room she finished, and she was even quicker down the hallway to the bedroom. The bedroom she had entered without even much thought, she had reached the bathroom in the end. The door she closed behind her, she stood against it as she took her first deep breath. Her shaking right hand locked the door. She took several deep breaths while standing against the door before walking to the sink.

"What just happened?" was all the loud voice in her head repeated as her fidgeting fingers turned the cold water on before they started aggressively washing her left hand. Her index finger would be washed thoroughly but not even the aggressive scrubbing could get rid of the invisible mark his lips had left. Her fingers were tasked with scrubbing, but they would be distracted by the memory of his tongue against her skin. Her right hand sent to her dress shirt; the first two buttons were opened to get some fresh air for her skin that was asking for it. The deep breaths she was still taking, her eyes glanced at the tall mirror to witness her flustered face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The blame turned her way; both her hands were tasked with splashing the cold water against her face, which was warmer than it should have been. Closing her eyes would prove to be a mistake as the second she did so, a 4k replay of what just happened was replayed. More specifically, the way his eyes had looked at her. Even in memory, they were able to do the impossible as her hands under the faucet were paused from bringing the water to her face. His breathtakingly beautiful face, all the red flags she should ever need to accept it as such was provided now. She was reminded of his dimple-marked smiles, intense gazes, and even his luscious hair that shaped his face as her disturbed breathing worsened. Her open lips were forced to laugh at all how all her thoughts were being refocused to focus on what his tongue had done. The water slowly raised up and splashed against her face as she opened her eyes to the reflection of her weird laugh.

The water drops falling from her face; some had dripped down to the opening of her shirt to glide down her neck. The cooling sensation of the cold water drops against her hot and bothered skin; it was odd how her body had used that as a reason to beg for a cold shower to help it regulate the stir the slightest touch of his tongue had caused. Her right hand sent to her uniform coat, which se opened before more buttons were opened from the dress shirt. Again, she placed her hand under the cold water and brought it to her neck. As she continued doing that, her eyes hadn't failed to glance at the bathtub at the other side and the cold water she would do anything to place her body in. But even that was forgotten as she was quickly reminded of what happened by the tub the last time she was here. From not being allowed to even touch her to washing her leg to what just happened, Jandi should have been more worried about how easily and naturally he was breaking through her boundaries. Still, her shaken mind was more focused on just finding a dismiss that had just happened.

The minutes she spent in the bathroom, the cold water had done as much as it could as her mind he had just corrupted went through all possibilities of what she could do to make sure this never happened again. Her coat she had taken off was holding in her hand; only the top two buttons of her dress shirt were open when she left the bathroom. Her eyes ordered to be sharper and focused as she left the bathroom. Unfortunately for her, the task given to her eyes had caused more problems as she walked out of the bathroom to step into the bedroom she had been in so many times. Why the first and only thing her eyes focused on was the messy bed was an issue. Her steps across the other side, her eyes had stayed on the bed she had been in twice. The blanket moved to the other side, the shape of the bedsheet from the left side he sleeps on, and even the silk pillowcase of the pillow he slept on, was examined. Her train of thought she was learning to predict; she knew to move her eyes away from the bed to the view of the city behind it. Her thoughts she was fighting from running away from her control; she hadn't even taken note of the heavy rain and thunderstorm that had taken over the city.

Get yourself together! was the order the voice in her head repeated as she walked across the living room and returned to the kitchen she expected him to be in. Looking across the room, she was surprised not only to not find him but also to find that even the food was gone. Only the pot and some of the tools she used were on the counter.

" Hey," she called out. It was a conscious choice not to say his name.

" Where did you go?" she asked as she started heading to the other entrance of the kitchen. The room on that side of the house she wasn't familiar with, she slowed down her steps when she entered the small pathway.

" Upstairs," she heard a loud voice coming from the end. The voice she followed, she walked into the room to find the grand piano and lounge area. Her eyes taking in the room; she was distracted by the art pieces hanging before she heard his voice.

" This way," the stairs he finished, he had noticed how she was looking at the room.

" The food?"

"It's there. I prefer eating there," he responded, pointing up the stairs.

The weird silence she didn't like returned as she tried smiling to ease it.

" I am going to leave then."

" I don't think that's a good idea." His right hand, pulled from his pocket, pointed at the wall-to-wall window. The thunder hitting the city, and the heavy rain was loud enough for her to register it now. He didn't have to say much to convince her that now wasn't a good time to be outside. That was one thing, but how she had accepted to stay here was bothering her as she followed his lead up the stairs.

The grand bookshelf she had seen before was still able to leave her speechless at its mere size—roof to floor, wall to wall. Her amazed eyes scanning it again would be switched to the floor couch area by the window. The cream color half-circle couch facing the wall-to-wall window looking out into the city looked so comfortable. It wasn't just the fabric of the couch but the puffy pillows across it and the blankets that made it seem like the perfect place to lay down and read, which was what he did most times. The right side of the couch he had spent the day lying in, she quickly guessed as she saw the blanket shaped to sign a person was lying there. His phone, the opened books, and coffee mugs by it were another sign. The small table in the middle, she finally noticed the food she had brought neatly arranged on it.

Her observation he didn't want to disturb, Junpyo had slowed down his steps as he let her take everything in. The way she examines everything, he knew she probably wouldn't need a second viewing to describe everything in the corner of the place he was walking them to. She was too observant. The right side of the couch he was already using, he had stood by it as he watched her. And just as he guessed, she had walked across to take the other side.

" Oh, you had gochujang?" she asked as she noticed it on the side of the soup on his side of the table.

" You know what they say about Soju and Gochu." his smile was accepted as she smiled back. She was happy they were both okay with pretending what had happened in the kitchen hadn't happened and just carrying on.

" You know it's not true." her legs folded crisscross; she sat down at the edge of the left corner of the couch. The man still standing, her eyes from the food had looked up at him at the wrong time. Junpyo, standing by the shelf, had to stretch his hand to reach the top . Whatever he was trying to grab wasn't noticed, as her eyes were directed to the long sleeve shirt he had on that was lifted up. His pants he was wearing low, the shirt had slowly lifted to expose some of skin. Even seeing the smooth skin of his would have been enough but her eyes were blessed with the curve of his back muscle. The shape of the muscle disappearing into the cream colored pants he had on, her eyes were forced back to the food right before he turned around.

" it always works for me" Junpyo holding the remote he was reaching for responded to her claim.

" Good food cures cold faster than soju" her eyes she had ordered to stay down, were examining all the food. The tea he had made sure to get her some, her hands were sent to the cup facing her way.

" Are you saying I don't eat good food?"

" I don't think you eat," she responded. This time unable not to look up as she heard him laugh.

" I am seriously curious how you have any energy," she added as she took her first sip. She was correct in getting this tea. The ginger and lemon with the honey was the perfect remedy for somebody with a cold. This with the soup should be able to get rid of it.

" I eat."

" Three times a day?" she took another sip as she asked. Her eyes following him down, she watched him sit facing the window in front of them. Unlike him, she had sat giving her left side to the view while her face was directed at the food in the middle.

" See" she added as his silence was the response to her question.

" Do you know how many calories you have to consume to keep your body functioning?" she had used her cup to point at his body.

" You sound like my doctor."

" It's her job to care about you and your health."

" And you?" he asked as he followed her and started with the tea. This was what he needed to be drinking all day. Maybe he should have her be in charge of choosing what and when he eats. The chefs that get paid a lot of money never dare to question his objection to not eating; she would at least do a better job at making sure he ate.

" I what?"

"Why do you care?"

" I don't," her response was fast as she placed her cup down and picked up the chopsticks. She paid for this food, so might as well enjoy it. It was her logic as she started her dinner. The dinner she was expected to have with Eun, the missed calls and texts from her friend were kept in her phone in her backpack that was placed by the was Eun's fault she was here anyway; Eun should know she was stuck here until the rain stopped.

" I see," he whispered, adding the Gochujang to his soup.

" Why do you eat here when you have a dining room?" Taking her first bite, she asked. He used his teacup to respond by pointing at the view of the city. The city being washed by the scary rain that was supposed to be the last rain of the season; Jandi turned all her focus to the grand view on her left. There was no denying the unmatched view; even she would spend all her time staring at it if she had a view like this. She would eat, sleep and do everything next to the window if she had such a view.

" It's beautiful," the word he heard her use for the first time; he was somewhat happy that something he had was pleasing for her to look at.

" The one you showed me is better." He started enjoying the food while adjusting his seat to lie down against the pillow he was sitting against.

" No way. That can't compare to this," she smiled at how ridiculous she thought his claim was. He chose not to argue and just let her smile at him. He raised the remote he had by his side as he started pressing the top buttons. Jandi focused on her food and slowly raised her eyes to the room that was getting dark. The chandelier lights were turned off and the only lights left were the corner wall-mounted ones. Her eyes from him had to turn to the enchanting light from the city that would light the room enough. The sun completely despairing into the horizon, the artificial light of the city, the eliminating full moon that was hidden behind the clouds, she had to pause her eating to take it all in.

The mood the dim light room would set, he had picked the remote he got from the shelf he was reaching for and pressed on. Jandi, still amazed and trying to take in the breathing view of the city and the vibe of the dark room they were in, wasn't ready for the door of what looked like a cabinet to open to a fake fireplace. The real-looking woods burning to the glowing golden light of the fire, he had used the other remote to turn even the wall-mounted corner lights dimmer as the orange light from the fireplace was enough to give them just enough light to see what they were eating. The sizzling sound of the fire added to the rhythm of the rain; that would be the melody of the night as both sat in silence, just letting the mood take over, quietly enjoying the delicious food.

The night he was expecting to spend sleeping with the help of his sleeping pills, there was no other way than to consider what was happening as a blessing. Not only was he eating delicious food, but with the one person he would do whatever to do so. Before he even had the guts to ask her out to eat with him, he was provided yet another opportunity to eat with her in the most unexpected places. She really was sitting in his house. On the couch, he often spends most of his nights in. Eating food she brought for him because he was sick. Between his sips of the broth of the soup, he had bit into the inside of his mouth to make sure this was real. The most luxurious restaurants he could book for just the two of them, the most talented chefs he could hire to make them food they had never even heard of, none of it would come close to what was happening right now. His eyes sneaking glances her way; he knew he had to thank the heavens for this night. The remedy he needed for all the things he has been dealing with, he was given the perfect one. This was it.

The heavens he was getting ready to thank, Jandi had opened her lips to remind him that whatever he was feeling about what was shopping was one-sided.

" So, are you going to tell me what Jihoo likes?" she asked after the delicious food and the perfect mood had helped ease her anxiety.

" ha" his chopstick was placed down, and he picked up the soju bottle. He needs a drink to answer that question.

" Please don't list expensive things. I can't afford to buy him anything," she added as she kept her eyes on the second glass of soju she saw him drink like it was a shot.

" So?" she asked a minute or two later.

"Huh," his sigh she didn't hear. Her eyes were on his hair, which he brushed away from his face.

" He likes you, so anything you get him will be special." His words were followed by the sour alcohol.

"I don't think so. I have to get him or do something special." Her eyes changed to the rainy view, and her mind was sent to think about anything Jihoo might want.

" Trust me," he whispered as her eyes returned back to him. Her sharp eyes were the ones that asked the question he would respond to.

" He will love anything you get him." his eyes on the piece of beef he picked up; he had only glanced up once he placed the food in his mouth.

" What do you get him?"

" I don't give him gifts."

" What about for his birthday?"

" Oh, last year we got him this special breed of horse because he talking about it for days and," he stopped as he noticed the look on her face.

" You got him a horse?"

" He loves horses and has been riding one since he was a kid." he had thought that was what she was confused about.

"You people are too spoiled." She was more focused on how much money one needs to buy horses.

" You asked."

" I didn't know he liked horse riding."

" Maybe I can arrange a horse riding session" her words quickly reminded him why he had decided to drink.

" You know, at one of those animal farm places." The ideas she was going through and the smile that came with them resulted from knowing Eun would be more than happy to help her plan and organize it all.

" Would he like that?" her somewhat worried eyes turned to Junpyo, eating his food silently.

" I am sure he would."

" What else would be fun?"

" Why are you asking me?"

" You are his best friend, and you have all the experience," she said as she changed her focus to the green onion pancake she had gotten as a side order of. She was enjoying a piece when she noticed the smirk he hid behind the sip she took.

"experience for what?"

" Dating. You probably have a collection of gifts from all your adoring fangirls."

" What do you like getting from them?" she added as she took another piece from the plate and sat with her back resting on the comfortable back support of the couch.

" I've never gotten any gift from any of them." Her assumptions about him he was happy to correct.

" Also, I have never dated any of them," he added in another correction. This fact he repeats every time she makes any claim regarding the girls he has been with; he wasn't sure how often he needed to repeat that they were primarily one-night stands for her to get it.

" So, who is this girlfriend of yours they talk about?"

" That is just a running joke, Yijeong started." The soju she saw him pour was at least drunk slowly this time as he only took a sip before the small glass was placed down.

" I hung out with her for a couple of days, and Yijeong started making jokes about her being my girlfriend since I never do." another sip of his drink. Jandi hadn't picked on how he was clearly and honestly explaining things she had so many questions about.

" I am the last person you should ask about dating." He finished the glass; his right hand was sent to the soju bottle as he poured another one.

" Yijeong doesn't date either, but he knows how to play women so he might have better advice." The smile he gave her as he looked up; the look in his eyes signaled for her not to accept his smile.

" So why do they claim you are so dangerous around women?" the opportunity she was provided, she hadn't even thought about it as such as she just followed her curiosity and asked. It felt beyond normal to let the conversation flow to whatever direction and slowly slip into deeper topics.

" The women we are around worship my last name."

" I don't have to do much to have them do whatever." The smile he gave her this time was honest, and it couldn't hide what he felt about what he was saying. How most who claim to love him do so because of his last name; this wasn't the first time she was given a hint about how he felt about it.

" I see." She brought her teacup to her lips, keeping her examining eyes on him.

" I remember Woobin saying you do something to them." They smiled before she even finished her words, recalling the discussion she was discussing.

" You believe their words too much."

" I didn't say I believed them. I am just asking?" still sharing her smile, she responded quickly.

" I know you're good with words and have seen all the gifts you get people, so I am sure you have your ways."

" You think?" he asked, placing his chopsticks down and solely focusing on his drink.

" Yes, I've seen you flirt with every girl you have been around."

" Here we go." he brushed his hair with both hands before sitting back against the couch.

" What do you mean here we go?"

" Me talking to a girl is not flirting," his frustration at the claim everybody who knows him makes; he was already beyond irritated that she was making the same claim.

" Oh please, I've seen it."

" What did you see?" he crossed his arms after sipping the tea his right hand held.

" You had a whole stranger giggling out loud in that hospital room. Why do you think she felt bold enough to even put her hands on you and ask you out?" His smile he couldn't hide. All he was thinking about was how much he needed to send that girl another set of gifts. She really has done him a favor because there is no way Jandi should be bringing that up again. He knew the heavens would come crashing down before she felt any jealousy, but even just the thought had brought a gleeful smile to his face. What will become of him if she ever dares to claim him as hers and gets jealous of any attention others get from him? No matter how wild it was, it was still such a happy thought to welcome.

" I was just being nice. Again, me being nice to women doesn't mean I am flirting."

" In a way, it does?"

" Does that mean I am flirting with you then?' he asked a question that almost made her choke on the tea she was drinking. This should have been the most apparent sign he was really bad at what they claimed he was an expert in. The only person he was trying to flirt with didn't seem to pick on anything she deemed was happening to every other girl he was talking to. His lack of experience even being around a single person that wasn't charmed by his last name, trying to win over somebody like that wasn't something he knew how to do.

" We are friends." almost a minute later, she spoke.

" So this doesn't count," she pointed at the distance between them.

" Are you really my friend?"

" I am trying to be. Aren't I here with some good food to make you feel better?" her mind quickly came up with the correct answer.

" Isn't that what friends do?" she asked as she moved closer to the table and returned to her food.

" Friends also know each other, but you don't seem to want to tell me anything about yourself." he chugged the last bitter parts of the tea he was finishing.

" I have always answered your questions. It's not my problem if you don't trust them."

" I trust you, but I also know you're too smart and know how to answer questions." his words had gotten her sharp eyes to move to form the soup she was finishing to him.

" Do you really trust me?" she asked, covering her mouth with her right hand.

" Yes," his gentle voice and honest eyes made sure she understood how true his answer was.

" Why?"

" Why wouldn't I?"

" I could be lying and pretending about all of this." Unlike him, she was a master at hiding the truth from everyone, sometimes even herself.

" Why would you?" She didn't answer his question; only her mysterious eyes stayed with him as she continued eating.

"And if you are, I am sure you have a valid reason to," he added, this time catching her hands, which paused her from bringing the spoon to her lips.

" We pretend and lie to protect ourselves." His raspy voice was supposed to sound rough so it was odd that it sounded softer than usual.

" Whatever you are protecting yourself from has to be serious for you to do all that." How close he was to getting it, her anxiety had sent the first alarm as she continued with her food while she started looking for another topic to turn the conversation.

" Maybe one day you will trust me enough to let your guard down."

" Since we're friends," he added, directing his words to her scary eyes that had looked up from her soup.

The silence that returned, at least the sound of fire and the rain had filled the room as they finished the food in silence. How comfortable they had to be with others to sit in silence, both were too lost in their own worlds to think of that. The table carrying the plates and leftover food still in the middle; the only different thing was Junpyo, who had laid down. The warm blanket covering his legs stretched on the couch; his eyes were on the city view while he enjoyed the sip of his drink. Sitting at the other end of the couch, Jandi used her coat as the blanket for her crossed legs. There was no intentional plan to change her sitting, but she had done so when the thunderstorms turned to a beautiful sight she wanted a better view of. After a few back and forth with herself, she decided just to do it and sat facing the window. Her back resting against the couch, she was sitting up while her crossed legs were stretched out and covered by her coat. Junpyo on her right, the distance between them wasn't that much as they took each of the couch. Laying down against the pillows, he was in a more comfy position as his head he laid back was resting on the back of the couch.

The rain that didn't seem like it would get any better; both were lost in their own thoughts the raindrops were accompanying. The small moment of peace he was provided just to enjoy having her sit next to him like this, Junpyo was the one who would get addicted to this as his alcohol-infused mind was already convincing him this was going to be one of many. The girl he had spent so many nights sitting here thinking about, how she really was sitting on the same couch, it was too unreal. The only girl allowed to be in this space, she has now marked her spot on the second place he spends most of his night in.

" Was what you said on the balcony true?" she broke the silence with the question that had been in the back of her mind since he said it. Somehow, now felt like the perfect time to ask.

" What happened ten years ago?" she added as she turned her face his way. The soju bottle she saw him grab from his side; he didn't even sit up as she started drinking from it. The bottle that was more than half empty, she hadn't thought about it until now but maybe slightly drunk Junpyo might be an interesting side of him to talk to.

" Yes" With his whisper of a response, she kept her eyes on the bottle he was drinking from.

" Did you really not talk for years after it happened?" she asked. He didn' have to know where she got that information, he knew it was Jihoo. It was always Jihoo that fed her information about him.

" A year and a half."

" I had therapy sessions twice a week to figure out why" his eyes on the scary thunder cutting the sky into parts, the sourness of what he was saying was swallowed with the sour alcohol.

" Did they?" Her eyes from the bottle he started sending down to the armrest by his side, stayed on his left profile and she had a perfect angle to view.

" They said it was traumatic mutism. One result of ptsd" how he was sharing all of this, her eyes were lost in trying to figure out what to make of how easily he was telling her all of this. Nomatter what, she had enough trauma she keeps caged to know how big of a deal it was for him to be talking about this.

" Everybody was treating me like a haunted freak so who would I want to talk to them anyway? '' he added with a tiny smirk. How frail he looked at times, for now was blamed on his sickness and his messy look. His hands he brought to his hair, her eyes watched every movement of theirs as they brushed his hair not away from his face but towards it. The black hair strands coming to the side of his face, whatever view she had of his face was now gone. The long hair resting by his chin should have made her notice his sharp jawline but all her attention was on that realization she was making about how his hair was the best indicator she had about what he was feeling.

" Is that why people say you don't talk much?" she wanted to ask but didn't. In the time she had known him she had witnessed it first hand how much he actually talks when he wants to. The reputation he had around school, maybe he just didn't like talking to other students. The assumptions she was making, she was one step closer to understanding him, but the question she would ask a minute later would change everything. Everything including the nice evening they were enjoying and everything that happened before it. And everything that will happen after.

" What exactly happened?" she asked a few minutes later as she crossed her arms and sent her eyes to the rain. She wasn't prepared for him to tell her, but she had taken a risk that would pay well.

" You don't believe I killed anybody?" the weird smile he asked as he looked her way for the first time in like ten minutes.

" No," she turned her face his way.

" I don't think you have it in you," she added as she took the opportunity to examine his eyes, which were slightly hidden by a few strands of his hair but were still visible.

" I thought you saw me as the devil himself," he added with a smile. His eyes, just like hers, were questioning hers to see if he should trust his six senses that was informing him she was safe.

" You're too." She couldn't find the right word to describe why he didn't seem like he had a single bone in his body that would kill a living thing, let alone a person. How things have changed in a few months, there was another clue for the girl who should have been paying attention to how this man had already found a way to make himself seem less scary and dangerous. In fact, he had even reached a point where sometimes she saw him as fragile as glass, one touch away from breaking to pieces.

" I don't think you can do such a thing," she added, unsure what to make of his smile. His hidden smile was the reaction to what he had accepted to be true. After years of therapy and medication, here she was, making him feel safe to open up about the topic he doesn't even dare to when medicated. What she was doing to him, it would take a long and deep conversation with the person who always watched him to understand this wasn't a typical crush or just liking a person. Why she felt so safe, it would require somebody else telling him the truth to accept he was on a path of misery.

" When I was in elementary school, my driver used to pick me and my sister together." a sip of the soju was used as he broke the glass ceiling of the story he had kept caged; his anxiety was triggered the moment he started.

" He would pick me and the boys together and then my sister."

" While we waited for her, we played a game by running around the high school campus." His eyes closed, and his head was slowly laid on the couch. His eyes closed; Jandi's eyes were free to examine him as much as they wanted. The dim room they were in, the lack of light was the perfect setting for the gloomy air that was around him.

" We had a competition where the last to be found by my driver would win whatever we wanted from each other."

" I don't know how I got to the building, but I found the old maintenance building one day. I thought the big garbage bins would be perfect for hiding" the blurry memories that were starting to form; both his hands were sent to rest on his head that was starting to send pain signals.

" I remember being scared even being there. It was so dark even though it wasn't fully night time yet." In the dark corner of the building, his memory was taken back to what he would share next, which would cause a similar reaction from both.

" All I remember is hearing a loud bang and turning around to find a body lying there.'' The piercing sensation in their hearts was happening for a different reason but because of the same person. Both their bodies responding to the person his blurry memory was bringing up, Jandi was the least prepared and her whole being was shaken. The person she would do anything to have been the last one to see, she had finally found the person who had been the one to do so.

" It was as though she came flying from the sky."

" All I remember is the blood" his head he started to squeeze; the dark red color that filled his memory was now starting to warn his anxiety.

" There was so much blood" the second pierce at his heart was the final warning of his body that wasn't drunk or medicated enough to deal with this.

" Every time I think about it, I remember her eyes and how they were looking at me." This time he was given a clear view of the image that haunts him even when awake.

" They were begging for my help. '' His soft words, what they were doing to the girl next to him wasn't something he was witnessing as he kept his eyes closed. That was until he heard some of the plates on the table falling down. His eyes opening up to the sound turned to Jandi's disturbed body trying to stand up, her shaking hands holding the couch helped her move across the couch before she jumped down.

" I have to"

" I have to leave" was all she said as she kept her eyes on the blurry view of the floor she started walking on. Junpyo's confused eyes looking for her face as she was hiding away, everything he was feeling was instantly erased once he noticed the tear falling from her eyes. That was all he needed as he stood up.

" What happened?" he asked as he started following the girl taking quick steps to the stairs. Her shaking hands getting his attention this time, he sent his eyes back to her trembling body that was almost running away as she continued taking quick steps to the stairs.

" Jandi '' his steps he had to fasten to catch up, he had to be even faster as she started rushing down the stairs. All he was worried about being her, every part of him was ordered to get to her as he watched her stumbling across the dark room. Her legs walking in zigzag, he was already worried about the stairs she started rushing down on.

" hey" the gap between them he was closing, she was almost done with the stairs when he finally reached her side. He had gotten to her at the right time as he had grabbed her before her feet that had missed its last step almost landed her against the rails of the stairs.

" be careful" her upper arm he had grabbed to pull her away, her arm was snatched away from him as she continued her quick steps to the kitchen she could see past the lounge room.

" Jandi '' his second attempt to get her attention by calling her name had failed as she had only increased her speed. Her shaking body only had one goal and it was to get away before the trigger he had pressed brought out the darkness she kept caged. The dark corners of her memory he had opened, she knew she had seconds before the emotions she can't control take over. The moment she entered the kitchen her body that was already ordered to run away has done just that as her legs were tasked with increasing their speed. The gloom she could feel taking over her body, the latest to be captured by it were her lungs that were starting to feel congested. Run- was the last message of the last words of the voice before it was drowned out by the ache across her skin that started sinking deeper. The living room she ran into, she had almost made it before her arm was grabbed and she was pulled to the wall she was running along. Her physical reaction to his touch, it was frightening to witness it as Junpyo quickly let go of her shaking body that was terrified of his touch.

" What's going on?" his gentle voice, he had to tilt his head to try and get any view of her face she was hiding by holding her neck down. Her moving hair covering her face, she hadn't even looked up as she moved away from him and tried continuing her steps but was stopped as he walked past her and stood in front of her , blocking her way.

" Please look at me, '' he whispered as he tried taking a step her way. The step she took back, his right arm he was sending her way, paused as he watched her shrink her body step back to stay away from him. Her eyes he couldn't see, he didn't need to to notice the tears falling down.

" Jandi," His worry-filled voice wasn't the trigger, but it had looked like it as both her shaking hands were sent to her face, which she covered. Her trembling hands, holding her face tightly, were tasked with muffling her voice. The cries that were trying t o escape her lips, She was already biting her tongue to hold them in. But her cries didn't need to have sounds for Junpyo to hear them.

The gap between them closed; his arms would be sent to wrap around her trembling body that would perfectly fit into his hug. Closer and closer, her fighting body weakly attempting to get away was held closer. Her head resting against his chest, he added another layer to muffle her cries as he tightened his hug. His arms wrapped across her shivering shoulders; his eyes were closed as he pulled her as close as he could. Her weak body freed from the rage and anger she used to mask how much pain it was in, had given into the embrace it was needing more than air. Her trembling body melting into his hold, she didn't have a choice as she was blanketed by the warmth of his body that was already willing to be used.

Every shiver of her tiny body attacking his heart; he was in no way prepared for what would happen when he finally heard the tiny sounds of her cries she wasn't able to keep caged in her mouth she had filled with blood from her tongue she was attacking mercilessly. Her soft whimpers, every sound that escaped her lips was scratching his heart which was already having a hard time figuring out what to do with her suffering he was starting to feel. Even though it was at a surface level, her agony was already too much for the boy who just wanted to make it all stop. Thinking holding her closer would make it go away from now, she was pulled even closer to his off-rhythmic heart. All the emotions he wouldn't be able to describe using all the words he knew were poured into the hug both needed more than the air their lungs were asking for. His head lowered, he gently rested it against her head that was buried into his chest. What he wanted to breathe in was her and he had done so while Jandi couldn't help but breathe in his habit-forming smell that would fill up her lungs. The oxygen it was demanding forgotten about, it would be his intoxicating sweet smell that would be used to help calm her body from giving into the darkness.