Quick little thing before this next chapter. I've been thinking of doing flashback chapters, just showing fun or emotionally charged or otherwise important moments that I've skipped over. Wanted to know if you guys would like that as well as how you'd like me to indicate that they're flashbacks.
I'm assuming having the whole chapter in italics would be annoying, so would you just want an indicator at the beginning or maybe nothing at all to just have you guys figure it out along the way? Idk, someone decide for me please. There won't be a ton of these chapters but still.
Liquid of Hades
noun.
The blackest of all black coffees. The liquid of death.
It was cold.
For others, probably too cold.
For Percy, however, the wind was ticklish against his skin and there were small patches of goosebumps on his arms, but otherwise he was feeling fine. Content, even.
The fire escape connected to his apartment had become something of a safe haven for Percy. In recent months, he needed… something. Some place or something distracting to clear his mind and not feel burdened by everything that had happened.
It had just become too much.
At the risk of sounding insensitive, over the last few years everyone he loved had been dropping like flies.
It was endlessly frustrating, heartbreaking, downright fucking depressing. There wasn't even a major war or conflict or anything that should justify all this misfortune. Mom had cancer. Paul had a car accident. Annabeth had a quest. Jason had some shit with Roman emperors. Frank had his stupid cursed stick. The craziest was Reyna's literal fucking assassination from some of Octavian's former sympathizers. And on. And on. And on.
Without a shadow of a doubt, he had nobody left (Well, that wasn't all true, but still).
It was exhaustingly depressing. He felt like he was going through the motions, a stranger and a witness in his own shell of a body. Life just seemed so… pointless. His reasons to live truly didn't exist anymore. Or at least, that's what he told himself.
He knew dying because his friends and family had would be an insult to their image, to what they had preached and stood for. But for the life of him sometimes he just wanted to give in, close his eyes, and rest.
And so, that led him to the fire escape. It was peaceful, quiet. He could sit in relative silence, the sounds of New York and the comfort of his home city engulfed him. Sometimes when he clambered out to the metal fire escape to sit on the slightly rusted metal, he was greeted with the chill of the night's air. Other times it was pouring, and he was fine with it. Sometimes it snowed, sometimes it was humid and warm.
Sometimes he would pay attention to the dots of people and flow of traffic below, sometimes he would zone out and stare at a spot until his eyes practically burned with the urge to blink.
Sometimes he would break down.
Cry his eyes out, let silent tears stream down his face, laugh with an overwhelming flavor of darkness at the circumstances he'd found himself in.
But…
It was his place. The fire escape.
At least he felt something there.
Currently, he was sitting in the middle of a rather humid night. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, even if New York didn't need clouds to block out the wonders of the universe.
It was one of the nicer nights as of late. It had been raining for much of the past week, so to get a warm, rain-less day after everything was a nice break.
Out of seemingly nowhere, Percy felt an inexplicable, unexplainable pool of, simply put, darkness, sprouting right next to him. Well, unexplainable to most. Not Percy. He'd gotten used to this long ago.
As soon as the subtle tint of darkness had come, it left, and in its place a boy replaced it. Boy was probably insulting.
Nico had long ago foregone his juvenile days of card games and a voice that squeaked every other sentence. He'd grown a lot, to almost as tall as Percy himself, although he still remained quite thin and pale whereas Percy had gained a fair amount of muscle.
"I almost thought you forgot." Percy said, his voice scratchy and harsh. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Nico's lips stretch.
"I never forget. Not when it comes to this." Nico said simply.
"I know." Percy replied after a beat.
How could either of them forget, when this was all they had left?
"How you been?" Percy asked softly. He glanced at the teen beside him and noted the lavender semi-circles under his eyes as well as the shallowness of his cheeks before staring back toward the sea of New York in front of them. Well, there was a building with a bland wall right across the street that blocked most of New York, but they could still see the blocks surrounding them.
A sigh, seemingly defeated, escaped Nico's lips, "Better. Still not sleeping all that much, but I'm eating more and the escapades dad sends me on help sort of keep my mind distracted."
"That's good." And Percy meant it. He paused. "You visited him at all?"
"Nah." Nico attempted for casual, a grim smile gracing his face. "It's too fresh. too much. Maybe later, but by then he might've already gone for rebirth. He was always too ambitious for his own good."
"Shouldn't you visit him, then? I mean, before he goes for rebirth?" Percy asked, eliciting a slight scowl from Nico. "I mean, Will probably wants to see you too, don't you think?"
Nico's scowl softened at that.
"I…" Nico paused, at a loss for words. "I can't."
"I know, Nico." Percy said, understanding practically coursing through his veins. "I know what you mean, I'm scared too. But… you might regret this for the rest of your life if you don't do this."
"I know." Nico said, defeated. He chuckled. "It's stupid, how I can summon the dead and you can create hurricanes and we can't do some of this simple emotional bullshit."
"Emotions aren't bullshit. Nor stupid." Percy said, knowing that he was a hypocrite and was feeling exactly what Nico was. He released a sigh. "You know, Chiron asked me to come back and be a counselor."
"Really?" Nico raised an eyebrow.
"Yup." Percy nodded. "I think he thinks it would be good for me, having the kids to take care of and just forcing me to do something that actually matters."
"But?" Nico asked, anticipating exactly that.
"But, it would be too hard, I think, being there, having kids call me something that I have zero inclinations of thinking I am. Calling the place home when the people that actually made it home aren't there anymore." Percy said. He shook his head. "But I think the worst part would be seeing them. Or at least, mini versions of them. Children of the gods look so fucking similar too each other that I don't think I'd be able to stop seeing them."
Nico paused, taking time to digest the information. The silence that ensued was comfortable, familiar. The pair of them often had silence pervade them and it was never uncomfortable. In fact, sometimes they preferred it.
"Let's make a deal." Nico finally said. Percy raised an eyebrow. "If I go visit Will, and maybe some of the others, you accept Chiron's offer. At least, on a temporary basis in case your worst fears come true."
"A deal." Percy said, stopping himself from saying that they weren't his "worst fears" and Nico was being just a little dramatic. Well, if he thought about it, Percy was being a little dramatic too. "Fine, I kinda fucking hate it, but I also maybe like it a bit too."
Nico smiled.
Percy smiled.
They didn't have much, in fact they kinda had fuck all. But… they had each other, and maybe that would be enough. If they were going to get through this, it would be by doing it together.
The son of the sea god held out his right hand and the prince of the underworld clasped it with his left, gripping onto the appendage like it was a lifeline.
"I fucking love you." Percy stated, a genuine, lopsided grin pulling at his lips and creating small dimples on cheeks. His hair flew wildly from a gust of wind, practically carpeting the whole of his vision. He really needed a haircut.
Nico rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless.
"I know you do."
He'd been stressing about it for two weeks straight.
So of course, the day he decided that he should let it happen, it does exactly that.
It happens.
In hindsight, he should've expected it with his luck. But hindsight's 20-20, and Percy's vision is terrible. Does that make sense? Probably not, but fuck it. Whatever.
There's nothing unordinary about the day. Nothing special, nothing that differs too far from the surprisingly comfortable routine he's fallen into habit.
While his coworker's taken barista duty for the day, Percy's been relegated to the position of cashier, which turns out to be the more relaxed position compared to being a barista. He's not rushing around trying to remember the ingredients and make the drink within a reasonable time frame.
It's around noon when she comes in, just before his lunch break. Honestly, knowing her, that was probably on purpose.
He doesn't even realize she's in the building until he's taking her order, too immersed in the customer before her to realize that Diana Prince is standing in the coffee line of La Café con Flores.
"How can I help you?" Percy asked after the customer before her had taken his order, only quickly glancing up to spot flowing black hair and not fully paying attention as he carefully laid the varying bills into the register.
"Just a plain, large black coffee, please. Nothing else." The feminine voice was decidedly smooth with - for some reason - an amused lilt.
"No problem. I'll get that right out." Percy said, now entering the order into the register. "Name, please?"
"Diana." She seemed more amused now. It was at that point that Percy looked up.
His face must've looked amusing because despite her apparent attempt to remain serious, she almost immediately broke out in a peal of laughter. All scrunched up eyebrows and small dimples and despite the fact that she was in a fit of ugly giggles, she still looked as elegant as he'd ever seen her. Fitting, seeing as she was a literal princess.
That was a good sign, right?
"Uh." Percy cleared his throat and allowed a small, nervous smile to form on his face. "Hi."
"Hi, Percy." Diana responded once her laughs sufficiently died down, a wide smile persistently straining her cheeks. For a moment, the ends of her lips twitched. "Do you have time to talk?"
Percy had to resist the urge to scoff. Diana probably knew exactly how much time Percy had until his break.
"Sure." Percy nodded. He paused. "You still want that coffee?"
After an amused nod from Diana and a shout from Percy to his coworkers telling them he was going on break, the pair of them found a small table to the side of the cafe.
The two of them took a few moments to settle into their positions in silence, Diana cooling her drink and Percy watching her unabashedly.
In reality, they hadn't gone that long without seeing each other, but to Percy, it felt like he hadn't bared witness to the Amazon in front of him for multiple lifetimes. Hades, the few months he hadn't seen Diana wasn't comparable at all to the obscene amount of time it sometimes took for him to see some of his past demigod friends.
But still, he couldn't help the feeling. Studying Diana as she sipped her drink and glanced at their surroundings, he noticed that not much had changed. Her hair was cut slightly shorter and she sported a new cut- a thin, shallow slice from just above the right side of her jaw to halfway up her throat - but at first glance she didn't seem all that different.
"You know that's terrible." Percy commented before he could help it, his eyes focused on the cup of pure black coffee in between her hands. "Like the liquid of death. No taste at all, black as the walls of the Underworld. I'm pretty sure it's Hades' drink of choice."
Diana's lips twitched.
"It's caffeine." Diana said simply. Which, well she was right. But to Percy, black coffee belonged in the deepest recesses of Tartarus. Just… yuck.
So, he shrugged.
"Percy." Diana said. Percy focused on her, noticing her sapphire orbs were sparkling in the soft sunshine that sifted through the windows of the café. "How've you been?"
It takes a second for him to respond, solely because that wasn't exactly the first thing he expected her to say.
"Good." And Percy actually meant that. "Really good. For once, I feel… normal."
"That's… good." Diana said. her smile widened. She reached out a hand and closed her nimble fingers over Percy's hand that rested on the table between them. "I'm happy for you, really. I know how burdened you've felt, so I'm glad you're feeling good. I just…"
"Yeah." Percy smiled, a little sadly. "I'm sorry, for leaving so abruptly. It didn't have anything to do with you or Themyscira or anything else. It was me. I… needed a break."
"Percy. I get it." Diana consoled. Percy nodded, albeit still a little guilty at literally running away. Diana reassuringly squeezed his hand for a beat. "I won't lie and say I'm not curious about what you found in that mindscape, but I understand your right to privacy, and I'll respect that."
"No, it's okay, Diana." Percy said, a little rushed. "I'll tell you, you deserve to know. And I think I need to say it just to get it out of me, you know."
Diana looked at him for a moment, and not for the first time he felt entirely too vulnerable under someone's gaze.
"Alright." She said calmly.
"Just-just lemme work my way up to it." Percy said with a sheepish grin.
"That's fine." Diana laughed out, contagious enough to set them both into a fit of laughter that took a few moments to die down. Once it did, they both just took a few seconds to look at each other, Diana's hand still on Percy's. Her hand felt warm, but not overly so.
"So, how've you been?" Percy asked, wanting to start somewhere, yet all the same not knowing how he was going to get to his destination.. "Do anything interesting while I've been?"
"I've been… okay. A little down because of… you know. But it's fine, I understand." Diana reassured as soon as she saw Percy's face reactively flash with guilt. "Other than that, I've just been trying to keep busy with work."
"And superheroing?" Percy asked with a grin, tracing his finger along his jaw where Diana's new cut was.
"And superheroing." Diana repeated, smiling the same wavelength as Percy. "Cheetah got one of her claws into me before I could deal with her."
"Mmm." Percy hummed. Diana'd told him about a couple of the recurring villains she fought, Cheetah being one of them. Man, there were way too many animal-associated superhuman individuals out in the world that he'd never heard of before. Perhaps it was a good thing demigods and technology never really mixed. "These guys need to start being more creative. Now that I think about it, your name isn't all that good either."
"What's wrong with it?" She frowned.
"The alliteration's nice, but… there's something missing. It doesn't roll off the tongue. I don't know." Percy shrugged.
"You think you can come up with something better?"
"Get back to me in a few weeks and we'll see." Percy cocked his head, the amusement apparent for both of them.
This is what he missed. It was so easy, the two of them. They're conversations were free-flowing, natural. Her presence was never intrusive, almost always desired.
"And Donna? How's she doing?" Percy asked, sort of afraid of the answer. Donna was still extremely young, after all. On top of that she was one of the most compassionate and downright joyful people he'd ever met. He didn't want to be someone who took part in dimming that bright light, but there was a good chance he had.
"Better now, I'd wager." Diana said. "She holed herself in her room for a few days, but we got her out and she started training again a few weeks ago. You know she was orphaned, so I think when you left, she felt like it was another person who didn't want her enough to stay."
"Ah." Percy gulped, his throat suddenly dry. "I… shit. Tell her I'm sorry. And if you can't bring her to visit soon I can go back just to see her and everyone else for a little bit."
"I'm sure she'd love to visit." Diana smiled, her sobered expression, brightening just a little. "She hasn't been back to the mainland since I brought her to Themyscira, so I think It'd be good for her. Does about a week sound good?"
"Perfect." Percy forced a smile, but quickly turned back to a somber state. The guilt was too much. Children, young children especially had always held a chokehold on his heart. Camp Half-Blood and seeing all the young ones there played a part in that.
"You know that really is terrible, I wasn't joking earlier." Percy said, cringing as Diana took another sip of her coffee. He had to resist reaching out to take her hand after she cupped her cup with both of her own. Which… was an odd reaction. "I swear, Mrs. Dodds probably drinks that. Nico probably would drink that if he wouldn't shoot off like a rocket cause of the caffeine."
"Mrs. Dodds?"
"Ah. Former math teacher." Percy waved his hand nonchalantly. "Also one of the Furies - Alecto, I think - and a real bitch."
"..."
"I still forget that you've interacted with so many of the deities and monsters we thought had disappeared long ago." Diana said in wonder.
"Too many." Percy shuddered, remembering the prime days of his demigod adventures. The creatures so horrifying you had to swallow down your own bile. The immortals with such astronomical, awe-inspiring power you'd tremble in their mere presence. The comrades (no, friends. Brothers, sisters. Family.) who'd sweat, bleed, fight, and die right beside you.
"That reminds me." Diana shifted in her seat. "Did you ever figure out how you ended up on our island?"
"Ah." Percy clicked his tongue and glanced out the window. It was still sunny, although whereas before there wasn't a cloud in the sky, he could spot a few fluffs of white rolling slowly through the sheet of baby blue. "Well, to tell that story, I'd have to tell the other one."
"Oh." Diana blinked. "You don't have to then, I was just curious."
"Nah, it's okay." Percy sighed, stretching out his arms and listening to a few of his joints popping. "I think I've stalled enough. You deserve the truth. So does J'onn, I think. I don't want him to feel like he did anything wrong."
Diana stared at him for a moment, evaluating if Percy was being true. Not to Diana, but to himself. She truly was in no rush to find out what had happened to make the man in front of her so anxious.
"Alright." Diana finally said. "If you're sure."
"I'm sure." Percy flashed a quick grin, displaying faux confidence. On the inside, he was nervous as fuck. He didn't want this woman, this woman he had grown to care for and like way too much way too fast, to dislike him for what he'd done. But, he needed to get it out in the air, fan the fumes away from him so to speak. It needed to be done soon or he might actually explode. "Alright, lemme just figure out a way to shorten this as much as possible."
"Take your time." Diana said, nodding vehemently. "No rush."
Percy breathed out a laugh. "Actually, there might be. My lunch break only lasts so long." Diana smiled at that. Percy glanced at the clock across the café, noting he had more or less 20 minutes left until he had to get back to work. "Okay, I guess I'll start with Tartarus."
"Tartarus?" Diana questioned. Her eyebrows instantly knit with worry.
She already knew that Percy had fallen into the pit, but he'd spared her the details. In fact, Diana knew a lot about Percy, like his friends and his mom and most of the adventures he'd gone on. But, Tartarus… He never wanted to relive that experience unless it was absolutely necessary.
"So, you know Annabeth and I fell into Tartarus, but you don't exactly know what happened down there." Percy paused, exhaled. "It was terrible, some of the things I saw. But… I think some of the things I did were worse. You know Akhlys?"
"Protegenos of Misery and Poison. Nyx and Chaos themselves conceived her, correct?"
"Exactly. Well, we needed her Death Mist to get to the Doors of Death without attracting too many monsters, so we went to her." Percy said. "She gave it to us, but as soon as she did she decides to hail us with poison. We couldn't move, couldn't do anything… so you know what I did?"
It was a rhetorical question, Diana knew.
"I still don't exactly know how I came up with it, but I sent the poison back at her, almost suffocated her with her own creations. I basically tortured her." Percy sighed and looked out the window. He couldn't look at Diana, not now. "And I almost enjoyed it. Reveled in the power I had over her. Annabeth stopped me, and she didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. I could tell she was disgusted, and so I told myself I'd never use my powers to do anything like that ever again."
"Percy-"
"Just… just wait, please." Percy held up a hand. "I said I'd never use it again, but I did, and I fucking hated myself for it. That's why I ran away."
He took a breath. Glanced to see that Diana's eyes were wide, eyebrows knit together. That wasn't necessarily a bad sign, was it?
"Long story short, after a couple years all I had was Nico, and when he died on one of Hades' stupid fucking quests, I lost it. I don't know what I was thinking, but I marched to Hades' palace and… I don't know. I just wanted to make him hurt, make him suffer for overexerting Nico and sending his only demigod son to his death."
"Gods don't have blood, but they have ichor. Golden fluid flowing through their forms. I don't know how much of it is water, but in that moment of hate and rage I just… willed him to freeze. To stop." Percy gulped. "And he did. For a moment, I held him there, and after I realized what I'd done, how I'd violated someone so cruelly, even if it was a god, I just broke down. I think the only reasons Hades didn't turn me into a pile of ashes then and there was because of the respect he had for me and the state I was in."
"The gods figured I needed a fresh start, and they didn't think I could get one if I hated myself for what I'd done. So they got rid of the memory of what I'd done and sent me off to find… a purpose, I guess." Percy pursed his lips. "And I tried. But I felt an itch in the back of my head telling me I was missing something. You remember Nereus?"
Diana nodded.
"Well, the itch was overwhelming, so I went to him, found him on the same dock in San Francisco, and tried to get him to tell me what I was missing." Percy shook his head. "Apparently he doesn't like someone asking him for an answer twice, so I tried to fight him, but he beat me, and the next thing I know I'm floating in the ocean, heading towards your island."
Percy inhaled. Exhaled. His heart was beating in his chest and the silence permeating the pair of him and Diana was deafening.
He couldn't look at her, his eyes glued on the window and that which laid outside. It was too much, too hard.
Percy was inherently someone who was confident in his emotions, in his ability to be empathetic and compassionate and moral. Sure, he questioned his judgment sometimes and felt guilt many other times, but he felt like he always had had a strong moral center. His mom had ensured it, raising him to be the best person he could be.
But when you do something that misaligns so deeply with your moral values, it rocks you to your core. Percy honestly didn't know what to do, what to think about concerning the cruel action he had committed. Was he a bad person because of it? Had Tartarus screwed him up and affected him more than he had hoped?
Perhaps the pit had turned him into something he hated.
To be so callous with his powers, so reckless and stupid to invade someone so personally, to molest someone's body and have such control over them… it wasn't right. It formed a pit in Percy's stomach, one that he didn't want to explore ever again.
It wasn't that he was afraid of his powers. That wasn't true. In fact, he was proud of what he could do. He could create tidal waves, navigate a ship to perfection, do unthinkable, beautiful things with his heritage.
Perhaps it was more accurate to say that he felt guilty to his core. He had done something so callous, so... wrong. Having such control over a person, literally manipulating someone's body... that wasn't beautiful. It wasn't elegant, wasn't something to be proud of.
And that was the crux of his self-hatred. Or rather, former self-hatred. He was coming to terms with himself, comfortable in his control. But, when it came down to it, he had a set of moral values his mother had set in him from birth, and with what he had learned along the way, in no way, shape, or form, would he allow himself to take advantage of his powers in such a downright evil way again.
"Percy." Diana said finally, gently. "Look at me, please."
Reluctantly, he did. His eyes met hers, and he could tell in that moment that she understood him. No pity, only empathy.
"It's okay." Diana said softly. She reached out to take one of Percy's hands in hers, this time interlacing their fingers. "Everyone has moments of vulnerability. Hera, I've had more than I can count. But, in my experience, that moment isn't what's most important. What matters more is how you respond. Prove that you're worthy not to others, but to yourself. Do you understand?"
Percy bit the inside of his cheek, felt his eyes glaze over in a layer of water. Blinking any tears away, he glanced at their interlaced hands before looking back up to Diana. Her vivid, azule eyes gleamed into his own, projecting a sense of confidence and comfort he hadn't felt in a long time.
"I understand." Percy said simply. "I do."
"Good." Diana sent a beaming smile, and his heart skipped a beat. It was odd, but Diana reminded him a little bit of his own mother. Her aura exuded extreme calmness, and her capacity for love and empathy was seemingly endless. However, where his mother had been openly caring and extremely compassionate to seemingly anyone and everyone, Diana kept her cards closer to the vest.
"So, can I expect you to return, or do you want to stay here?" Diana asked.
"I think I'll stay, at least for now." Percy said. Despite how annoyingly tempting it was to go back to Themyscira, this life he'd created for himself wasn't half bad. "I still want to take a break from… everything. I want to live as normally as possible, for now. Perhaps one day I'll return on a more permanent basis, but I can still visit from time to time."
"One week." Diana grinned, seemingly not too disappointed. She squeezed his hand. Perhaps she knew his answer before he said it.
"One week." Percy repeated. He squeezed back.
"And, if you'll allow it, I'd like to come here every once in a while. See how you're doing and catch up on everything. I'm sure you have more interesting stories to tell." Diana said hopefully.
Percy smiled, nodded. He glanced back outside and noted that the clouds that had come in had disappeared out of sight. The sun shined brightly without interference.
"I"d like that."
So… that was something.
To the tail end of all that, I'm less proud of what I wrote, but I think the flashback was good. Monologues and the like aren't exactly my forte. Exposition to me is slightly boring, but this part was needed.
About that part about Percy and Nico…
I didn't plan this at all. In fact, it was only when I was writing the scene did I realize that it could be interpreted as a relationship and that this could totally become an avenue I could explore.
To be honest I've never really been necessarily a fan or someone who explicitly advocated for a Percy/Nico relationship, but something like that in this story sounds natural and kinda fun to explore. If you guys want me to write it in flashbacks let me know. And obviously if you don't want it you can say that as well. Either way, the main pairing will still be PercyxDiana.