This one took forever and I'm truly sorry for that
I can't promise anything rn but I can assure you that I'm still writing and that I absolutely plan to finish this fic.
Here you go with the newest chapter.
Thanks for still being here & for reading
Derek dreamed and felt a lot during his medical induced coma.
It was like he was present sometimes, but only for a short glimpse. Like in these Science-Fiction movies, Spencer liked it so much.
He couldn't tell how much time passed by or what time of the day it was.
Time passed by in a blur when he wasn't dreaming. Or close to waking up.
Well, that's what the doctors would call it later when asked about it.
But Derek always knew he wasn't alone.
And that's what made his rest easier.
He always felt Penelope's presence. Sometimes, he even felt her touch. Her hand tenderly caressing his. Derek also thought to hear her voice from time to time.
And though Derek only felt it for mere seconds, it helped him a lot.
There were many times something pulled at Derek. As if to take him, steal his mind from his body. And he'd gladly given in if it hadn't been for his Baby Girl's voice that kept him...well...alive.
Derek couldn't explain it. But he was sure if he hadn't heard her every time Derek felt so strange, he would be dead.
This feeling, though, was only in the beginning.
Later, Derek would understand that it had happened when his heart had stopped beating.
But it wasn't just Penelope.
Derek also felt his momma and his daughter at his side.
His former teammates. He sometimes thought to hear them as well.
And as often as he felt loved and cared about, Derek had nightmares. Or that's what he would call them if getting asked later.
Most of the time, Derek was back in his cell. That fucking cold, dark place Derek had hated more than anything.
He'd spent so many hours in there.
Too many.
It hadn't been the fights that had broken him.
Hell, no.
Derek Morgan knew how to fight.
He'd learned it many decades ago when he witnessed a fucking thief shooting his dad to death. When a man called Carl Buford sexually assaulted him. When he'd decided to keep it at bay, for his family's sake.
Derek also learned to fight during his years of becoming an FBI agent. For becoming the man his momma and friends were proud of.
But being all alone in that goddamn dark and ice-cold cell. In pain and under the influence of drugs. With no one to talk to...that almost broke Derek.
The hallucinations that came along with the drugs given to him. In all his life. With all the things he'd been through. Derek had never felt so goddamn helpless.
At some point, Derek didn't know what was real or fake.
His body started to crave the drugs so hard Derek lost control of his body. He'd been chained to the wall from then on, making it impossible for Derek to hurt himself during his hallucinations.
The men who had to take care of Derek were just as bad as everything else.
They didn't look after his injuries.
They made fun of him when having hallucinations or made them worse.
Derek couldn't do anything then to hope for this nightmare to end. He'd tried so many times to free himself, that Derek had stopped counting. There'd been no way out.
He hated his cell so much that he was almost glad for having another fight. The pain after those fights always had been something Derek could rely on. It had felt real amongst all those other things.
And it was such a nightmare that finally woke Derek out of his coma.
He couldn't exactly tell how it happened.
Just that his kidnapper wanted to get to him. He had to do another fight. And Derek didn't want to.
He was so fucking exhausted.
Derek tried to sit up in the afford to run away. He was on the ground. Did they forget to chain him to the wall? If so, Derek thought, he finally had his chance. Maybe it would work. Perhaps, Derek could sit up and get the fuck out of here. Despite all his injuries.
Groaningly, Derek sat up. Everything hurt so much, but he was desperate. Feeling a small glimpse of hope, Derek tried to move more.
But, no. Derek couldn't.
Why?!
Derek's breathing increased, his hope gone within a second. He could barely control his fear, his panic. And suddenly, Derek recognized why the fuck, he couldn't move.
His legs were chained to the goddamn wall. Derek simply hadn't realized it.
They'd left him lying on the ground, though.
Once again, they'd managed to make a joke out of Derek.
There was no way for him to run, to flee.
Of course, not.
NO! He tried to scream.
But no word would leave his mouth. For some reason, Derek also couldn't talk.
It was dark, so dark, but Derek could hear them coming closer. Not long before they would be there. Before he had to fight again. saved
Derek felt more panic rising in his chest.
NO! He tried to yell once more.
Leave me the fuck alone!
And just as the door to his cell opened, Derek Morgan opened his eyes for the first time in weeks with a silent gasp.
And the first thing, he felt, was absolute confusion.
It wasn't as dark as Derek expected.
Panic filled his very being as he couldn't proceed the sounds around him. Or the light.
It also wasn't cold. Derek's cell always had been chilly and uncomfortable. What Derek felt now was the absolute opposite of it.
He couldn't proceed with what had happened to him. He'd never had that kind of hallucination before.
Derek tried to move again but felt unable to. His body felt so heavy. But Derek realized that there were no chains on his wrists or ankles.
He was so exhausted. What was happening to him?
He opened his mouth and tried to call for her...Penelope...but his lips felt like they were glued together.
More and more panic filled him as the thought of what his kidnappers had planned with him filled his mind.
What had they given him that made him pass out so hard?
Where the fuck was he?
With all the panic that filled him, and clouded his mind, Derek didn't realize that his pain was gone, that he was in a safe place. And that he felt better, even if being exhausted.
Not able to fight off the increasing panic, Derek's breaths became heavier until he all but gasped.
But then...oh then it happened.
The voice of his Gid-Given Solace reached his ears, filled his very being, and shook off his panic.
"Derek? Handsome?! Oh my God! You're awake!"
Penelope's face came into view, and Derek swore at this moment that he'd never been happier to see her.
And then, memories of what had happened crashed his mind.
Derek remembered.
He was safe.
Penelope...the team...they had found and saved him.
"You...," Derek croaked out, finally finding his voice. "You found me...you really did," he murmured, overcome by his memories.
Penelope only smiled tearfully and nodded at his words.
"We did. And we will talk about everything, Hot Stuff, I promise. You were in a coma for quite a while and must be super irritated. But have some water and a doctor to take a look at you first. And God, I really need to hug and kiss you. You're awake. I can't believe it."
It was then that Derek realized the tears streaming down her beautiful face. Happy tears, he recognized a moment later.
Despite her tears, Penelope was beaming at him, smiling from ear to ear.
Feeling his panic gone, replaced with pure happiness, Derek couldn't help but smile weakly at the love of his life.
He was safe.
He was with his God-Given Solace.
Derek couldn't stop his own tears streaming down his face. It was just so much.
So overwhelming. But most wonderfully.
Derek had hoped for Penelope and his team to find him. But after so many years...Derek wouldn't say that he'd lost it. But he'd kept his hope at bay as much as possible. He wouldn't have made it for so long.
"Baby Girl," he answered croakingly, his voice almost breaking.
Derek would never find the words to explain how much he'd missed her in all those years.
How much it meant for him to see her again in person.
How grateful he was for having a second chance.
"Come here," he whispered. Derek tried to reach out his arm, but it didn't work. His body didn't want to do this for him. Usually, it would've been frustrating for him. But somehow, he didn't care a lot. Derek only felt the happiness of having his Baby Girl at his side.
"Rest, my love. Your body is still recovering," Penelope lovingly explained as she carefully hugged her arm around him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
It felt like heaven.
Penelope carefully laid down beside him and cradled him gently before placing another kiss on his lips. Derek felt himself relaxing more and more. For now, it didn't matter what was about to come. Or how weak and exhausted he was.
For now, only a few things mattered.
He was alive and safe.
Penelope was with him.
It was okay, for now.
Penelope couldn't believe it.
Derek was awake. For real.
She'd heard his voice again, and Penelope could swear that she'd never heard anything more beautiful. Penelope honestly hadn't dared to hope, hearing Derek talking again.
Sure, his voice wasn't more than a hoarse whisper. But Penelope would always recognize Derek's voice.
No matter what.
They'd exchanged a few loving words before Penelope had called the nurses.
Both of them had needed that. A few moments of just being together. Of hugging each other as good as possible.
Penelope had tried to make sure that Derek felt comfortable.
She'd soon realized that there wasn't much to do for it.
Derek needed just her at his side. Her presence, her love. And well, she wasn't Penelope Garcia if she couldn't do that.
Derek's smile meant everything to her. He'd tried to talk as much as possible to her. Held her hand as firm as possible. But he hadn't much strength for now.
They'd both enjoyed their time together anyways.
Derek had fallen asleep soon after the doc had checked on his condition. So far, everything was fine, the doc had told her. Derek would need a lot of sleep, to begin with.
He would need a lot of time to heal and recover from what had happened to him.
"Mr. Morgan will be in quite a good mood for a while. It's normal. The aftermath of the coma and the medication are responsible for this. Enjoy it. Soon enough, there will be other times. His mental condition hasn't fully caught up yet, with what happened. I'm sure it will soon. It always does. And that's the time which won't be easy for each and everyone close to him."
Penelope only nodded hesitantly.
She'd known that things wouldn't be as easy as she'd hoped for. Mostly, for Derek, of course, who'd been through enough. But hearing from Derek's doc what Penelope feared had made things more real.
"We will do anything possible to help Mr. Morgan through this. And we will stay in contact with the doctors in charge, back in Quantico. He's in good hands, Mrs. Garcia. And you will get all the help you need, as well."
"I know, thank you. It's just a lot. And I don't want him to have to go through all of this," Penelope had confessed tearfully. "I just want him to be happy and be able to catch up with his family and friends."
"If he's willing and doesn't stop fighting, he'll have this chance. It'll take a lot of time and one hell of a hard work for all of you. As much as I understand your happiness that Mr. Morgan is awake. I need you to stay realistic. He'll need a lot of encouragement, and you'll need strong nerves. You should keep that in mind," the doctor empathetically had told her. Penelope knew that he only meant well.
In all these years working for the BAU, Penelope met many people. Almost everyone had been through physical or mental trauma.
Or both.
With some of them, she'd stayed in contact. From others, she'd only heard of. Penelope knew well enough what was about to come.
How stressful and tiring the upcoming time would be.
But for now, Penelope desperately wanted to enjoy the moments when Derek would be happy and relaxed. These moments were when she would see his beautiful smile. Hear his silly jokes.
They would have to take one step after another.
Derek had a lot of work in front of him. He would need to heal physically and mentally.
Everyone had to gain as much strength as possible, to help him keep fighting to get his life back. It wouldn't be the same as before, but they would make the best out of it.
Now that Derek was awake and out of danger, they could face what was about to come. Together with their family and friends, everything was possible.
At first, while Derek was still asleep, Penelope called Fran, and of course, the team back in Quantico.
Every single one.
That took a while, but Penelope didn't care. She just wanted to spread the good news to every single person.
Sitting beside Derek, holding his hand, Penelope took her time to inform her teammates about everything. Spence, of course, had many questions, and Penelope tried her best to answer all of them.
"I'll make sure to call you when Derek's awake, I promise." She told almost every one of the team. "When he's ready, though."
Derek had been hesitant towards people other than his family when first found.
Plus, he hadn't been able to see his teammates before being put into a coma. She wasn't sure if and when Derek wanted to talk to them. Even though he and Spencer always had been very close, like brothers.
Of course, Penelope would ask Derek if he wanted to talk to them. She just didn't want to push him, that was for sure. And she knew that none of their teammates would want Derek to force himself to talk to them.
Penelope checked the clock, only to realize that Fran and Sofie would arrive at the hospital soon.
Derek had asked a lot about their daughter after he'd woken up.
He couldn't wait to see her again. And now he would have the chance to see her grow up.
Penelope felt so happy, knowing that, from now on, they were together in that.
Their life hadn't been easy lately. Sofie had had many questions, understandably so.
Growing up without a father wasn't easy. Plus, having a mother who avoided the 'dad' topic as much as possible wasn't conducive. Penelope had known that. But she'd been unable to change her behavior.
Derek's loss, the secret search for him, work, and family had been so much for her. Too much.
Hopefully, now that Derek would be with them, things would be easier.
"Ah, my Chocolate Thunder, our daughter is a thunderstorm at the moment. You'll see. God, that damnit puberty, I can tell you. I'm glad when it's over. Oh no, don't tell me that it just started, and there are many years of that behavior in front of us. I won't accept that. Sofie used to be such a sweetheart. And now? She's a goddamn pain in the ass. You'll see. And I love her so freakin much." That was a little over-dramatic, but Penelope still had to get used to her puberty-stricken daughter. The love for Sofie hadn't changed a bit, but it was exhausting. Not every day, but sometimes. That was for sure.
Hearing Derek chuckling weakly, Penelope stopped talking only to see him watching her with tired yet bemused eyes.
"I can't wait to see every side of her. Even that," Derek said smilingly, squeezing Penelope's hand. "My sisters were monsters as far as I remember. But we'll get through it, huh?"
"I'm pretty sure you'll get to see that pretty sight of her soon enough," Penelope admitted amusedly. "So you're used to puberty-stricken girls, right," she said smilingly. "I'm so curious how you two will get along."
"Me too, Baby Girl. Me too."
Smiling gently, Penelope rose to her feet only to sit down beside Derek.
"How are you, Hot Stuff? Do you need anything?"
"Feeling good. Rested but yet tired again. Hungry and thirsty."
He still needed his time to talk these things out, but Penelope didn't mind. She was just so glad to hear his voice again.
"Well, let's see what we can do for your hunger and thirst first, okay? Your momma and Sofie will be there soon. Is that okay?"
Derek nodded.
"Of course it is," he answered with a slight smile.
"You tell if it's too much, Handsome, alright? No one will be disappointed or mad at you. It's all about you and all at your pace. Don't forget that, my love."
"Will do that, Baby Girl."