A/N: Hello everyone, I am back with the second chapter of this story. Here, we go back to the start of the magical summer.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls
"Ah, summer break." began Dipper's voice.
Hank was shown at a cookout.
"So, you want cheese on that, hon?" asked Hank.
The camera showed children playing while adults sat at a nearby table talking.
"Sure hon." answered Hank's wife.
"No fair Dipper, when did you become a ventriloquist?" asked Mabel.
"I swear I don't remember any of this!" declared Dipper.
"A time for leisure, recreation, and taking her easy." continued Dipper.
The entrance sign to Gravity Falls was shown.
"It's the intro to a cartoon or something." scoffed Stan.
"Unless you're me." said Dipper.
Dipper and Mabel crash through the sign in a golf cart.
"What the heck?!" asked Mr. Pines shocked.
"You kids know how dangerous that is!" declared Mrs. Pines disapprovingly.
"We were being chased!" declared Mabel.
Mrs. Pines went from anger to worry in a heartbeat.
"All will be revealed." noted Axolotl.
The cart landed and continued driving recklessly while Dipper and Mabel screamed. Suddenly, trees were seen being felled.
"It's getting closer!" declared Mabel worried.
A large monstrous creature was shown chasing the twins.
"What is going on up there?!" asked Mr. Pines, freaking out.
"Just another day in Gravity Falls." answered Wendy nonchalantly.
"My name is Dipper." began the boy.
The camera panned to show Mabel about to puke.
"The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel." revealed Dipper.
Dipper and Mabel's parents couldn't believe what they were seeing. Shermie was surprised, but something told him this wasn't unusual.
"You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror." said Dipper.
"Yes, I am!" declared Mrs. Pines.
The monster threw a tree into the path of the twins.
"Look out!" cried Mabel.
The two swerved when the imagine froze.
"Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation." said Dipper.
"There better be." demanded Mr. Pines.
Cut to the theme song.
"We have our own theme song!" declared Mabel joyously.
After the theme song ended, it picked up right back where it left off.
"Let's rewind." said Dipper.
"What?!" asked Mr. Pines.
The scene cut to Mabel and Dipper at their home in Piedmont, California. There parents briefly appeared preparing them for their trip.
"It all decided when our parents decided we could use some fresh air." began Dipper.
"Why would ya do that?" asked Gideon.
"They spent too much times indoors and need to get away." answered Mrs. Pines.
"I get it dude. You learn a lot by being in nature." shrugged Wendy.
"They shipped us up to a sleep town called Gravity Falls, Oregon to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods." said Dipper.
"Turns out it was that sleep after all." noted Dipper.
Ford was still not thrilled to see his house turned into a tourist trap.
In the attic, Mabel was putting up posters.
"This attic is amazing! Check out all my splinters!" said Mabel excitedly.
"I hope you got that tended to." said Mrs. Pines.
"Yeah, but that was the least bad thing to happen during the summer." answered Mabel.
Meanwhile, Dipper nearly backed into Gompers.
"And there's a goat on my bed." stated Dipper.
Mabel walked over.
"Hey friend." said Mabel happily.
Gompers began chewing on Mabel's sweater.
"Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater." laughed Mabel.
"Mabel, you shouldn't let animals eat your clothing." sighed Mrs. Pines.
"Gompers is fine. If he wasn't, I wouldn't have married him and Waddles." replied Mabel.
"You married your pig and a goat?" asked Pacifica confused.
"What can I say? I'm a natural matchmaker." answered Mabel.
"My sister tended to look on the bright side of things." noted Dipper.
The scene cut to Mabel rolling down a hill.
"Yay! Grass!" exclaimed Mabel.
Everyone got a kick out of this.
It cut to Dipper who had a woodpecker on his head pecking away at him.
"But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings." admitted Dipper.
Grunkle Stan appeared wearing a monster mask and scaring Dipper.
"And why are you trying to scare your grand-nephew?" asked Mrs. Pines unhappy.
"It was a harmless prank." said Mr. Pines.
Stan muttered something incoherent as he and Ford stared at the mask.
"And then there our Great Uncle Stan. That guy." said Dipper annoyed.
Stan laughed at Dipper until he had a coughing fit.
"It was worth it." stated Stan.
"Stan, that's the mask from when we were kids, isn't it?" asked Ford.
"I found it when I cleaning up the place and couldn't throw it out." answered Stan sheepishly.
The scene cut to Stan giving a tour.
"Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called The Mystery Shack. The real mystery is why anybody came." said Dipper.
"I resent that." stated Stan.
"Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" declared Stan.
The scene cut to a sasquatch wearing a pair of underwear.
"I guess that's one way to repurpose that taxidermy sasquatch." confessed Ford, slightly amused.
"That's real?!" asked Mrs. Pines.
"That's nothing." scoffed Mabel.
"Did you really need to give it your underwear?" asked Gideon disgusted.
"That's not mine." revealed Stan.
"That's my underwear dudes!" declared Soos.
"I can't tell if that makes it better." muttered Gideon.
The tourists enjoyed the Sascrotch.
"And guess who had to work there?" asked Dipper.
"The guy on the ten-dollar bill." answered Soos hopefully.
Dipper was shown sweeping
"I was so close." said Soos.
Mabel reached to touch a display only to have Stan swat her hand with the eight ball on his cane.
"No touching the merchandise." stated Stan.
"I know you didn't just strike your grand-niece." said Mrs. Pines furious.
"It was just a small tap." replied Stan defensively.
"We can talk about all of this later." whispered Mr. Pines.
Mrs. Pines sat down but was clearly angry with Stan.
"I'm so glad I'm not married." sighed Stan.
Soos was shown driving the Mystery Shack gold cart.
"It looked like it was going to be the same, boring routine all summer until one fateful day..." began Dipper.
Inside, Mabel poked her head through a display of Stan bobbleheads.
"He's looking at it. He's looking at it." said Mabel excitedly.
It then cut to a boy reading a note.
"Do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely." read the boy, who looked around confused.
"I rigged it." stated Mabel happily.
"Hey, I can't help it if I want a hunky man to lift into his arms as the sunsets behind us." said Mabel.
"Have you been reading my old romance novels again?" asked Mrs. Pines.
"Um...no." answered Mabel lying.
"Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "boy crazy" phase, but I think you're overdoing it with the "crazy" part." said Dipper.
Mr. Pines muttered in agreement.
"What?" asked Mabel.
Mabel blew a raspberry and walked over to her brother.
"Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!" declared Mabel.
"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy?" asked Dipper.
It flashed back to a boy standing next to a card rack.
"My name is Mabel. But you can call me the girl of your dreams." said Mabel.
Mabel fluttered her eyelashes as the boy looked confused.
"I'm joking!" cried Mabel.
Mabel pushed the boy into the card rack and laughed.
"Mabel..." began Mrs. Pines.
"Maybe I got a bit carried away." admitted Mabel.
"Luckily, I think he was on a tour so he got to escape." said Dipper.
It then showed a guy sitting on a bus bench with a turtle when Mabel appeared from behind him.
"Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too. What is happening here?" asked Mabel.
"Pretty sure he skipped town." noted Dipper.
It then cut to the Mattress Prince's mattress store.
"Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings." said the Mattress King.
Mabel appeared hiding in a display of balloons.
"Take me with you." said Mabel softly.
The Mattress King cried out in fear.
"He almost quit that job." said Dipper.
"He's still got the mini-golf course to fall back on." noted Pacifica.
"Reminds of me when I was your age honey." said Mrs. Pines fondly.
It then returned to the present.
"Mock all your want brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer." began Mabel.
Mabel gestured to a door behind her.
"I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through this door right now." said Mabel.
Stan walked through the door and burped into his hand.
"Oh. Oh, not good. Ow." said Stan.
"Aww, why?" asked Mabel upset as Dipper laughed.
Everyone watching laughed as well.
"All right, all right, look alive people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." said Stan.
"Not it!' declared Dipper.
"Not it!' declared Mabel.
"Uh, also not it." added Soos.
"Nobody asked you, Soos." said Stan.
"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." replied Soos, who ate a chocolate bar.
"Wendy, I need you to put up these signs!" declared Stan.
"I would but..." began Wendy.
Not taking her eyes off her magazine, Wendy pretended to reach for the signs.
"I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh." finished Wendy.
Reminds me of me on my first job." admitted Mr. Pines.
"Hey Dipper, did you see the cash register?" asked Mabel.
"Yeah. 6:18. I feel like that some has important meaning to it." answered Dipper.
"I'd fire all of you if I could." said Stan.
"Aw, you love us, you old codger." said Wendy teasingly.
Stan muttered agreeing, but hoping nobody would hear him.
"Besides, nobody else would put up with ya." added Gideon.
"That too." shrugged Stan.
Stan turned back to Dipper and Mabel.
"All right, let's make it eenie, meenie, miney..." began Stan.
Stan pointed at Dipper.
"You." decided Stan.
Mabel noticed her brother getting tense.
"Sock puppet incident?" asked Mabel.
"Yeah." answered Dipper.
"It's over Dipper.." noted Dipper.
"Yeah. I know." replied Dipper.
Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched." said Dipper.
"Ugh, this again." groaned Stan.
"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town." said Dipper.
"No surprise you caught on so fast." said Ford.
Dipper smiled at this.
"Just the other day my mosquito bites spelled out 'Beware'" revealed Dipper.
Dipper showed his warning to Stan.
"That says Bewarb." said Stan.
"Ah, the Soothquitos." said Ford.
"Yeah, in the journal it says spelling out warnings, but they often misspell words." said Dipper.
"Indeed, they gave me the same warning when after I first met..." began Ford.
Ford trailed off as Stan, Dipper, and Mabel knew why.
"Look, kid, the whole "monsters in the forest" is just local legend. Drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." said Stan.
A fat, sweaty man was shown enjoying a Stan bobblehead.
"So quit being so paranoid!" snapped Stan.
Stan gave the signs to Dipper who sighed in defeat.
"When your twelve-year-old grand-nephew is worried you shouldn't be so dismissive." said Mrs. Pines.
"I never got the whole "responsible guardian" thing down." confessed Stan.
"I think I know why." muttered Shermie.
"Besides, there are monsters out there." added Mr. Pines.
"I lived in Gravity Falls for thirty years. Of course, I knew about the weird stuff going on." revealed Stan.
"Then why let Mason go out there alone?!" asked Mrs. Pines outraged.
"I knew they could handle it. They're Pines after all and I'm sure you did a good job raising them." answered Stan.
Dipper and Mabel were happy to hear this while the compliment pacified their parents.
"Besides, Dipper reminds me of another Poindexter that I know." added Stan fondly.
Dipper went out into the spooky forest and was hanging up the signs.
"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say." sighed Dipper.
Dipper hung up a sign. He walked up to the next tree but, when Dipper went to hang hammer the nail in, it caused a metallic sound.
"So that's how he found it." whispered Ford, a curiosity not satisfied.
Dipper banged the tree with his hammer and listened hearing the metallic sound again. Dipper opened a secret window revealing a mechanical box.
"That looks like the entry to a secret underground bunker." said McGucket.
"It is. You helped build it." said Ford.
"I...don't remember any of that." confessed McGucket sadly.
Dipper tested the controls with the second one opening a hole in the ground. Gompers ran off and Dipper investigated.
"What the..." began Dipper.
Dipper saw a book inside the hole. He reached down, pulled the book out, and blew off the dust, revealing it to be Journal 3.
"No wonder I couldn't find it. It was buried in some hole deep in the cold ground." said Gideon.
"Why would you know about the Journal?" asked Ford suspiciously.
"I had Journal 2 and I thought this was Journal 1." answered Gideon.
"Interesting." muttered Ford, still very suspicious.
Dipper put the book on the ground and began looking over the book. He found a magnifying glass then flipped to the next page and began reading.
"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wonderous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.
Dipper flipped pages. The first showed giant bats and eyeballs. The next was gnomes which got Dipper and Mabel to chuckle.
"What is all this?" asked Dipper.
Dipper kept flipping pages stopping on one that had TRUST NO ONE in large letters on one side.
"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it." continued reading Dipper.
Dipper and Mabel's parents were surprised to see everyone, minus Shermie, shutter. Seemingly knowing who 'he' was.
"Remember: in Gravity Falls there's no one you can trust." concluded Dipper.
Dipper closed Journal 3.
"No one you can trust." repeated Dipper.
"Hello!" cried Mabel, scaring her brother.
Everyone watching jumped as well.
"Geez Mabel, what the heck were you doing?" asked Pacifica.
"Grunkle Stan wanted me to see what was taking Dipper.
"He was taking too long and I wanted to make sure he wasn't lollygagging." stated Stan.
"Are you sure it's not because you were worried?" asked Wendy teasing.
"What'cha reading? Some nerd thing?" asked Mabel.
Dipper hid the journal behind his back.
"Uh, uh, it's nothing!" answered Dipper.
"Uh, uh, it's nothing!" said Mabel, imitating her brother.
Mabel let out a laugh.
"What? Are you actually not going to show me?" asked Mabel.
Dipper noticed Gompers chewing a corner of the journal.
"Let's go somewhere private." said Dipper.
"That explains the chew marks." mused Ford.
"Mabel, why did you want to know what Dipper was reading?" asked Wendy.
"We're twins. We never have secrets between us." answered Mabel.
"You'll have to grow apart eventually." huffed Robbie.
Mabel froze upon hearing this.
Just a little more summer
"Hey, you okay?" asked Dipper.
Mabel took a deep breath.
"Yeah." answered Mabel.
The scene then cuts to the Mystery Shack. Dipper and Mabel were in the living room.
"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book Gravity Falls has this secret dark side." said Dipper.
"Woah! Shut up!" cried Mabel.
Mabel pushed her brother.
"After a certain point, the pages just stop. Like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared." continued Dipper.
"Yeah..." began Stan.
"Disappeared." concluded Ford.
The doorbell rang.
"Who's that?" asked Dipper, surprised.
"Well, time to spill the beans." said Mabel.
Mabel knocked over a can of beans.
"Boop. Beans." said Mabel.
Mrs. Pines chuckled at this.
"This girl's got a date! Woot woot!" cried Mabel.
"Mabel, you are too young to date." said Mr. Pines.
"We talked about this, it's perfectly healthy for kids their age to start dating." noted Mrs. Pines.
"My dad was the same. Except, he's a big lumberjack so that scared people away." revealed Wendy.
Meanwhile, Gideon couldn't help but feel jealous.
"Let me get this straight, in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?" asked Dipper.
"What can I say? I guess I'm just irresistible!" answered Mabel.
The doorbell rang twice more and Mabel jumped up.
"Coming!" called Mabel.
"Let's just see who the boyfriend is." whispered Gideon jealously.
Dipper sat in the recliner and began reading when Stan appeared drinking a Pitt cola.
"What'cha reading there slick?" asked Stan.
"Oh!" cried Dipper.
Dipper hid the journal and pulled a magazine from under the bean can.
"I was just catching up on..." began Dipper.
Dipper closed the magazine so he could see the cover.
"Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine?" said Dipper confused.
"That's a good issue." stated Stan.
"Why would you want that exactly?" asked Mrs. Pines.
"It's informative!" declared Stan.
"It's also my name on the subscription." noted Ford annoyed.
"No offense Sixer, but you could do with a new wardrobe." replied Stan.
"I can give you a makeover after this!" declared Mabel excited.
"Great Uncle Ford, you might want to go through the portal again." whispered Dipper.
"What portal?" asked Mr. Pines.
"You shall see." answered Axolotl.
"Hello family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!" declared Mabel.
"No way! This guy is way too sketchy!" declared Mr. Pines.
"You were right about that." said Dipper.
"'Sup?" asked Mabel's boyfriend.
"Hey..." began Dipper suspiciously.
"How's it hanging?" asked Stan nonchalantly.
"We met at the cemetery. He's really deep." said Mabel, as she felt his arm.
"And what were you doing at the cemetery?" asked Mrs. Pines.
"I saw him walking around and raced to him." answered Mabel.
"Robbie's parents would greet people who showed up." added Dipper.
Robbie grumbled.
"Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise." said Mabel, infatuated.
"It's a surprise alright." said Dipper.
"So, what's your name?" asked Dipper suspiciously.
"Normal...man!" answered Mabel's boyfriend.
"He means Norman." said Mabel.
"Are you bleeding, Norman?" asked Dipper.
"It's jam." answered Norman.
"I love jam! Look at this!" exclaimed Mabel excitedly.
"So, you wanna to go hold hands...whatever?" asked Norman.
"Oh, oh my goodness." said Mabel.
Mabel giggled in giddiness.
"Don't wait up!" cried Mabel.
Mabel ran off. Norman pointed at Dipper and Stan then banged into the wall before leaving.
"There was something about Norman that wasn't right..." began Dipper.
"Darn right." stated Mr. Pines.
The scene then cuts to Dipper in the attic.
"Mabel, did you see a triangle in the window?" asked Dipper anxiously.
"It's okay Dipper. He's gone." said Mabel reassuringly.
Dipper was reading from the journal under an eerie red light.
"Known for their pale skins and bad attitudes...these creatures are often mistaken for teenagers?! Beware of Gravity Falls nefarious..." began Dipper.
The image on the page turned into Norman.
"'Sup." said Norman.
"Zombie!" cried Dipper.
"Hey Robbie, it's you." said Wendy.
Robbie rolled his eyes.
"Son, you know there's no such thing as zombies." said Mr. Pines.
Stan was checking his reflection in the mirror when he heard the echo of Dipper.
"Somebody say 'crombie'? What is that, crombie. that's not even a word. You're losing your mind." said Stan.
Again, everyone laughed.
"Actually, Crombie is a British clothing line founded in Aberdeen in 1805." stated Pacifica.
Everyone gave Pacifica a surprised look.
"Like I wouldn't know that!" declared Pacifica.
In the attic, a worried Dipper looked out the window. Mabel was sitting on a bench as Norman walked toward her.
"I like you." said Mabel innocently.
"Oh no, Mabel!" exclaimed Dipper.
While not buying Norm being a zombie, Mr. and Mrs. Pines couldn't help feel uneasy with the boy marching toward their daughter.
"No, no, Mabel watch out!" cried Dipper.
Norman put his hands around Mabel's neck.
"Ahh!" screamed Dipper.
Norman removed his arms, revealing he placed a flower necklace around Mabel.
"Daisies?! You scallywag." said Mabel happily.
"Aw, that reminds me of when first started dating and you took me to the Temescal Regional Recreation Area." said Mrs. Pines fondly.
"And I gave you a boquet of Alameda manzanitas not knowing they were endanged." added Mr. Pines.
"The warden chewed you out for that." giggled Mrs. Pines.
Dipped backed away from the window.
"Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I going nuts?" asked Dipper.
"It's a dilemma to be sure." agreed Soos.
Dipper was surprised as the handyman had shown up and was screwing in a lightbulb.
"Soos, how did you get there so fast?" asked Dipper.
"I walked in right when you looked out the window. I said your name, but you were busy you must not have heard me." answered Soos.
"I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' to yourself in this empty room." said Soos.
"Soo, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend, he's gotta be a zombie, right?" asked Dipper.
"How many brains did ya see the guy eat?" asked Soos, curious.
"Zero." answered Dipper flatly.
"Look dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." began Soos.
Soos was shown suspiciously watching a hairy mailman.
"Next time I'm in Gravity Falls, I need to talk with this mailman." whispered Ford.
"But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are going to think you're a major league cuckoo clock." stated Soos.
"Always Soos, you're right." relented Dipper.
"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse." stated Soos solemnly.
"Soos, the portable toilets are clogged again!" called Stan.
"I am needed elsewhere." said Soos.
Soos literally backed out of the room.
"Soos, thank you for talking sense." said Mrs. Pines.
"No problem, dudes." shrugged Soos.
"My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence." said Dipper.
A montage began of Dipper observing Mabel and Norman. Mabel threw a frisbee hitting Norman in the head who fell over. Norman punched open a window to let Mabel into Greasy's Diner. Mabel and Norman then frolicked through the cemetery until Norman fell into an open grave. He rose up like a zombie but then he and Mabel began laughing.
"You know what would go well with this montage. That song "In The Summertime" by Mungo Jerry." said Stan.
"I'd seen enough." said Dipper.
Mabel was shown brushing her hair in the attic when Dipper came in.
"Mabel, we've got to talk about Norman." began Dipper.
"Isn't he the best. Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me." said Mabel.
Mabel showed off a large hickey on her face startling Dipper.
"No way!" declared Mr. Pines, freaking out.
"Ha, ha. Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower." revealed Mabel.
It flashbacked to Mabel turning the leaf blower on and putting a picture of Norman on it.
"Kissing practice!" declared Mabel.
Mabel went in to kiss the picture, but she got sucked in and stuck.
"Turn it off! Turn it off!" cried Mabel.
Everyone laughed.
"Chekov's leaf blower." mused Dipper.
The flashback ended.
"That was fun." stated Mabel.
"How did you get out?" asked Wendy curiously.
"Luckily, Soos was nearby and turned it off." answered Mabel.
"All in a day's work dude." said Soos.
"That never would have happened with me." muttered Gideon.
"No Mabel, listen. I'm trying to tell you Norman isn't what he seems." said Dipper.
Dipper pulled out Journal 3.
"You think he might be a vampire? that would be so awesome!" declared Mabel enthusiastically.
"This was during the whole Starlight craze so I could see you being into that." mused Wendy.
"Oh yeah! Team Jason all the way!" declared Mabel.
"Please. everyone knows Team Edmund is the best." scoffed Pacifica.
"Guess again sister! Sha-bam!" cried Dipper.
Dipper accidentally showed the entry on gnomes much to Mabel's displeasure.
"Oh wait. I'm...I'm sorry." said Dipper.
The Pines twins giggled at this much to the confusion of their parents.
Dipper flipped to the correct page.
"Sha-bam." repeated Dipper.
"A zombie? That is not funny Dipper." said Mabel annoyed.
"I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?" replied Dipper.
"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." offered Mabel.
"Unfortunately, I do not believe it would be possible for Dipper and Norman to always be blinking at the same time." noted Ford.
"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls." began Dipper.
Dipper momentarily looked around.
"Trust no one." said Dipper softly yet urgently.
"Well, what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me?" asked Mabel.
Mabel put her earrings on.
"Beep bob!" exclaimed as she put them on.
"Mabel, he's going to eat your brain!" cried Dipper.
Dipper shook his sister until she stopped him.
"Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock." began Mabel, "And I'm going to be..."
Mabel poked Dipper in the chest and continued advancing which forced Dipper backwards.
"And he's going to be dreamy." continued Mabel.
Mabel forced Dipper out of the room.
"Bu-bu-bu." stammered Dipper.
"And I'm not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" declared Mabel.
Mabel shut the door on her brother.
"What am I going to do?" asked Dipper, worried.
"Dipper..." began Mabel flatly.
"It's like I said, don't worry about it." said Dipper.
Mabel smiled at this.
"Besides, I can get a bit paranoid at times." confessed Dipper.
Stan looked at Ford.
"Geez, I wonder where Dipper gets that from." joked Stan.
Time had passed and a clock showed it was five o'clock. The doorbell rang.
"Coming!" called Mabel.
Mabel put her sweater on as she went down the stairs and answered the door.
"Hey Norman, how do I look?" asked Mabel.
Mabel showed off her purple "Meow Wow!" sweater with a pink cat face and glitter.
"The old me would have told you how tacky that is." noted Pacifica.
"Shiny." answered Mabel.
"You always know what to say." replied Mabel.
Mabel left with Norman while Dipper watched from the recliner.
"Soos is right, I don't have any real evidence." sighed Dipper.
Dipper watched the video he had taken of Mabel and Norman. Norman tripped playing hopscotch but fell on his face. The video then showed Norman and Mabel from behind with Norman having his arm over Mabel.
"Aw." cooed Mrs. Pines.
"Bleh." spat Mr. Pines.
"I guess I can be a bit paranoid sometimes and..." began Dipper.
Norman's hand fell off and he quickly put it back on.
"Wait, what?!" asked Dipper stunned.
"For all we know, that could have been a prosthetic." proposed Mr. Pines.
Dipper screamed and fell backward out of the chair.
"I was right! Oh my God! Oh my God!" cried Dipper.
Dipper raced off to find Stan.
"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!" called Dipper urgently.
"That is true, you have been notably absent." mused Mrs. Pines.
Stan was outside giving a tour.
"And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock. The rock that looks like a face." said Stan.
"Does it look like a rock?" asked a hillbilly.
"No, it looks like a face." answered Stan.
"Is it a face?" asked the fat, sweaty tourist from earlier.
"It's a rock that looks like a face!" answered Stan.
Dipper arrived and desperately tried to get Stan's attention.
"Over here! Grunkle Stan!" called Dipper.
"For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!" stated Stan.
"I really hope we don't act like that on vacation." confessed Mrs. Pines.
"I can see how you could make money this way." said Mr. Pines.
"Oh yeah. Plus, I'm a veteran con artist so I know all the tricks. It's easy to fleece tourists." said Stan proudly.
Dipper was getting frustrated. It then cut to Mabel and Norman in the woods.
"Finally, we're alone." stated Mabel.
"Yes. Alone..." said Norman menacingly.
"I don't like the way he said that." noted Mrs. Pines worried.
"I really should have noticed that." mused Mabel.
Back at the Mystery Shack, Dipper was making no progress in getting Stan's attention.
"Stan! Stan!" cried Dipper.
Dipper saw Wendy pull up in the golf cart.
"Wendy!" cried Dipper.
"What were you doing with the golf cart?" asked Stan.
"I got bored so I took it for a joyride in the woods." answered Wendy.
"Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!" declared Dipper frantically.
Wendy gave the keys to the boy.
"Try not to hit any pedestrians." said Wendy.
The redhead left and Dipper hopped into the cart. He backed up, but Soos was waiting.
"Dude, it's me: Soos." noted Soos.
the handyman handed Dipper a shovel.
"Thanks." said Dipper, accepting the gift.
Soos then held up a baseball bat.
"And this in case you see a pinata." said Soos.
"Uh...thanks?!" said Dipper unsure.
Dipper took the baseball bat and drove off.
"Better safe than sorry!" called Soos.
"I've played enough Quiet Mound games to know you gotta be prepared when dealing with zombies." stated Soos.
"That shovel did come in handy." noted Dipper.
"Yeah, and Grunkle Stan used that baseball bat to fight zombies later." added Mabel.
"There's your creativity." mused Mrs. Pines.
Back in the woods, Mabel was with Norman.
"Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's...there's something I should tell you." revealed Norman anxiously.
"Oh Norman, you can tell me anything." said Mabel.
The girl clearly had one hope on her mind.
"Please be a vampire. Please be a vampire." thought Mabel.
"He's not a vampire." stated Mrs. Pines.
"All right, just...just don't freak out, okay? Just...just keep an open mind...be cool."
Norman removed his sweater to reveal he was five gnomes.
"Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" asked Jeff.
"He was...gnomes. Like garden gnomes." said Mr. Pines stunned.
"Yeah, Dipper got it right the first time." joked Mabel.
"This has to be a joke." said Mrs. Pines.
"Nope. This really happened." replied Mabel.
"Right, I'll explain. We're gnomes. First off. Get that out of the way." began Jeff.
Mabel was still dumbfounded.
"I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason, and...I'm sorry, I always forget your name." said Jeff.
"Shmebulock." said the titular gnome.
"Shmebulock! Yes!" declared Jeff, as Mabel sat down on a rock.
"When I was investigating Gravity Falls, I studied a gnome named Shmebulock Sr. This must be his son." noted Ford.
"Anyway, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right guys!" revealed Jeff.
"Queen! Queen! Queen!" cried the other gnomes.
"Then that was jam." said Ford.
"What do you mean?" asked Dipper.
"I was present when a previous queen passed and gnomes have a tradition of bereavement jam as part of their mourning process." explained Ford.
"So, what do you say?" asked Jeff.
Jeff tapped another gnome on the head and they knelt down pulling out a box with an engagement ring.
"That's a beautiful diamond. Though, the cut would hurt market value." said Pacifica.
Several people gave Pacifica a weird look.
"My family was rich. I needed to know this." shrugged Pacifica.
"Would you join us in holy matri-gnomey? Matri...matrimony. Blah! I can't talk today!" requested Jeff.
"Look...I'm sorry guys. You're really sweet but, I'm a girl, and your gnomes, and it's like 'what?'. Yikes." answered Mabel.
Gideon felt relieved seeing Mabel reject the gnomes.
"We understand. We'll never forget you Mabel.' said Jeff.
Mabel smiled at this.
"Because we're going to kidnap you." said Jeff.
"Huh?" asked Mabel confused.
Jeff attacked Mabel who cried out.
"This is not happening. My daughter is not being kidnapped by gnomes." said Mrs. Pines stunned.
"That'd be an interesting TV special." stated Soos.
"Not now Soos." stated Stan.
"It's okay mom, I'm right here.' noted Mabel.
"Maybe sending them to Oregon was a mistake." mused Mrs. Pines.
'Oh no." said Dipper worried.
Dipper was racing around trying to find his sister.
"Don't worry Mabel, I'll save you from that zombie!" declared Dipper.
"Help!" cried Mabel.
Dipper raced off in the direction of his sister's cry.
'Hold on!" cried Dipper.
Dipper raced to the gnomes who were trying to subdue Mabel.
"The more you struggle, the more awkward it's going to be for everyone." said Jeff.
The gnomes were fighting Mabel with one biting her arm.
"Didn't that hurt?" asked Gideon, worried.
"My sweater prevented him from getting to my skin." answered Mabel.
Mabel fought off gnomes. One got up and puked a rainbow.
"Talk about taste the rainbow." joked Wendy.
"What the heck is going on here?!" asked Dipper, confused.
Shmebulock hissed at Dipper.
"Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" exclaimed Mabel.
One of the gnomes grabbed Mabel's hair.
"Hair! Hair! Hair!" cried Mabel hurting.
"Gnomes, huh, I was way off." said Dipper.
"Actually, you were right the first time." noted Soos.
"Yeah,. Weird how that happened." mused Dipper.
"These things happen for a reason." stated Axolotl.
Dipper flipped through the journal.
"Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weakness: unknown." read Dipper.
"Well, some help that is. Did this author even try to figure it out?" asked Pacifica annoyed.
"Maybe, it was harder than it seemed and he got distracted by someone." answered Ford annoyed.
The gnomes had managed to tie down Mabel.
"Aw, come on!" cried Mabel.
"Maybe I shouldn't have given the gnomes a copy of Gulliver's Travels." muttered Ford.
"Hey! Hey! Let go of my sister!' demanded Dipper.
Dipper marched up Jeff who turned around in surprise.
"Oh! Ha, ha, hay! You, you know, this is all a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one-thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity!" explained Jeff.
The twins' parents were still having a difficult time comprehending that this happened to their daughter.
"Isn't that right, honey?" asked Jeff.
"You guys are butt-faces!" declared Mabel.
One of the gnomes covered Mabel's mouth with his hands.
"Really, butt-faces Mabel?" asked Pacifica.
"I am an innocent little girl." said Mabel.
"I knew dozens of swears by your age. I can teach you some." said Stan.
"No, you won't!" declared Mr. Pines.
"Give her back now, or else!" ordered Dipper, wielding the shovel.
"You think you can stop us boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with..." ranted Jeff.
Jeff's rant was cut off when Dipper picked him up with the shovel and tossed him aside.
"I told you it's better to be safe." noted Soos.
"Once again, you're right Soos." stated Dipper.
Dipper used the shovel to free his sister. Mabel kicked away gnomes and the twins raced to the golf cart.
"He's getting away with our queen! No! No! No!" cried Jeff.
"Do we need to teach Jeff about consent?" asked Wendy.
"Not to mention he's got to be older than Mabel." added Pacifica.
"Well, those implications got weird." stated Stan.
"Seatbelt." said Dipper.
Mabel clicked her seatbelt.
"I'm glad you thought about safety." said Mrs. Pines.
Dipper and Mabel sped off in the golf cart.
"You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!" exclaimed Jeff.
Gnomes began emerging from everyone and began stacking up.
The golf cart was burning rubber as the twins fled.
"Hurry! Before they come after us!" cried Mabel.
"I wouldn't worry. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny." replied Dipper confidently.
Suddenly, the ground shook and Dipper stopped. A massive gnome monster emerged the twins.
"Dang." said Mabel amazed.
Alright, teamwork guys. Like we practiced." said Jeff.
The gnome monster let out a roar.
"Move. Move!" said Mabel frantically.
Dipper took off just in time to miss the gnome monster slamming its fist into the ground.
"The creature that chased our kids...was a monster made of gnomes." said Mr. Pines surprised.
"This has to be a dream." stated Mrs. Pines.
"Oh no, it's very real." noted Dipper.
"Come back with our queen!" demanded Jeff.
"It's getting closer!" cried Mabel.
The gnome monster threw several gnomes onto the cart. One attacked the cart while another was elbowed away by Mabel.
"I thought Soos chewed on the cart." confessed Stan.
"Why would he do that?" asked Robbie, confused.
"I accidentally poured syrup on the cart and tried eating it off." answered Soos.
Schmebulock appeared but, Dipper grabbed him and slammed him into the golf cart horn.
"Shmebulock." said the titular gnome weakly.
Dipper tossed Schmebulock away.
Another gnome appeared and attacked Dipper.
"I'll save you Dipper!" cried Mabel.
Mabel punched the gnome several times though her last punch hit Dipper. The gnome fell off, but it took Dipper's hat with it.
"So that's what happened to your hat." said Shermie.
"You told us you traded it with a friend." added Mr. Pines, unhappy about the lie.
"That wasn't technically a lie." shrugged Wendy.
"Thanks, Mabel." said Dipper dazed.
"Don't mention it." said Mabel casually.
The gnome monster grabbed a tree and threw it.
"Look out!" cried Mabel.
"And now we're back to where it began!" declared McGucket.
Dipper swerved erratically and crashed outside the Mystery Shack. The twins got out of the cart as the gnome monster arrived.
"Stay back man!" cried Dipper.
Dipper threw the shovel, but the gnome monster crushed it.
"Nice one!" laughed Robbie.
Wendy elbowed Robbie in the ribs.
"Hey Dipper, look!" cried Mabel.
"Oh hey, it's Blendin." said Dipper.
"Who?" asked Stan.
"You will see." answered the Axolotl.
"Where's Grunkle Stan?" asked Dipper, worried.
Inside the Shack, Stand showed off a swirly pattern on a stick.
"Behold! The world's most distracting object!" declared Stan.
The tourists were impressed as Stan began spinning the object.
"Just try and look away. You can't!" exclaimed Stan.
However, Stan himself fell victim to the object.
"I can't even remember what I was talking about." noted Stan.
The twins' parents shot Stan another dirty look.
"I told you I knew they could fend for themselves and clearly they did!" declared Stan.
The gnome monster marched toward the twins.
"It's the end of the lines kids. Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy." stated Jeff.
"There's got to be a way out of this." said Dipper.
I've got to do this." said Mabel, stepping forward.
"No way! I forbid it!" declared Mr. Pines.
"What?! Mabel, you can't do this?! Are you crazy?!" asked Dipper incredulously.
"Trust me." said Mabel.
"What?" asked Dipper, confused.
"Dipper, just this once, trust me." whispered Mabel.
Dipper slowly backed away as Mabel approached Jeff.
"Thanks for trusting me." said Mabek.
"I'm glad I did." replied Dipper.
"All right, Jeff. I'll marry you." said Mabel.
"Hot dog!" cried Jeff excitedly.
Jeff began crawling down. Mabel knelt down as Jeff pulled out the ring.
"Eh? Eh?" asked Jeff.
"Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now, let's get you back into the forest honey!" exclaimed Jeff.
"You may now kiss the bride." said Mabel.
"Well, don't mind if I do." said Jeff.
Jeff leaned in for a kiss, but Mabel turned on and pulled out the leaf blower.
Mr. Pines grumbled angrily.
"Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, woah! What's going on?!" asked Jeff scared.
Jeff was sucked halfway into the leaf blower.
"That's for lying to me!" declared Mabel.
Mabel switched the leaf blower into reverse.
"That's for breaking my heart!" continued Mabel.
"Ow, my face!" cried Jeff.
Dipper had returned to his sister's side.
"And this if for messing with my brother!" concluded Mabel.
Mabel aimed Jeff at the gnome monster.
"Wanna do the honors?" asked Mabel.
"On three." replied Dipper.
"One! Two! Three!" counted the twins.
The twins fired Jeff into the gnome monster which caused it to fall apart.
"I'll get you back for this!" declared Jeff.
Jeff flew away as Mabel turned the lawn blower to the other gnomes.
"Anyone else want some?" asked Dipper.
The gnomes scattered with one being caught in a six-pack ring only to be carried off by Gompers.
"Nice one Mabel!" declared Wendy.
"I wouldn't have thought to do that." added Pacifica.
"You would have tried bribing them." laughed Wendy.
"It works." shrugged Pacifica.
"Well, it's not something I thought of either. "said Ford.
"That's why Mabel added it to the Journal." noted Dipper.
"That was you?" asked Ford, surprised.
"Hey, Dipper. I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me." said Mabel regretfully.
"Oh, don't be like that. You save our butts back there." said Dipper.
"I guess I'm just sad my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." confessed Mabel.
"Trust me, there are plenty of fish in the sea." said Wendy.
"Or mermen." chuckled Mabel.
Dipper groaned.
"Look on the bright side, maybe the next one will be a vampire." said Dipper.
"You're just saying that." said Mabel, with a playful slug.
"Awkward sibling hug." proposed Dipper.
"Awkward sibling hug." agreed Mabel.
The two hugged each other saying " pat, pat" as they patted each other on the back.
"Aw, that's so cute." said Mrs. Pines.
Dipper blushed.
"Just accept it was cute dork." said Pacifica.
All eyes fell on the blonde.
"Everyone else was saying it!" declared Pacifica defensively.
The twins returned inside where Stan was counting his money from the group of tourists. "Yeesh, you two get by a bus or something?" asked Stan.
Stan laughed as the unamused twins walked by.
"Hey, wouldn't you know it...um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so uh...how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, ya know?" said Stan.
"Aw, the old codger does have a heart." cooed Wendy teasingly.
"Really?" asked Mabel excitedly.
"What's the catch?" asked Dipper skeptically
"I don't see there had to be a catch." said Stan, offended.
"It's you Stanley." stated Ford.
Stan shrugged.
"Good point." conceded the con man.
"The catch is do it before I change my mind. Now, take something." said Stan.
Stan put the money into the register as the twins looked around. Dipper put on his now signature hat and looked at this reflection.
"That oughta do the trick." said Dipper confidently.
"So that's how you got your hat." said Pacifica interested.
"And now it's Wendy's dude." added Soos.
"Fits perfectly." said Wendy, with a wink.
"And I will have a..." began Mabel.
Mabel pulled something out of a box.
"Grappling hook! Yes!" declared Mabel.
Stan and Dipper were not expecting this.
"Wouldn't you rather have, like a doll, or something?" asked Stan.
Mabel fired the grappling hook at the ceiling. It caught on a beam and Mabel pulled herself up.
"Grappling hook!" cried Mabel.
"Fair enough!" declared Stan.
"Stanley, why did you allow our daughter to get a grappling hook?" asked Mrs. Pines unhappy.
"I offered her something else. There wasn't anything I could do." answered Stan.
"Put your foot down and tell her no." stated Mrs. Pines.
"Why were you selling grappling hooks?" asked Shermie.
I had to stop selling fireworks because the ATF was breathing down my neck." answered Stan
It cut to later that night. Dipper was on his bed writing in the journal while Mabel jumped on her bed.
"Mabel, we told you not to jump on your bed." stated Mrs. Pines.
"We were on vacation." said Mabel sheepishly.
"This Journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize they've probably always got your back." wrote Dipper.
Dipper looked at Mabel who reeled in a stuffed tiger toy with her grappling hook.
"Are you a teen or something?" asked Robbie jerkishly.
"You liked like a girl when we watched Shout 4 the year before Dipper and Mabel came to Oregon." noted Wendy.
"Hey, Mabel, can you get the light." requested Dipper.
Mabel aimed her grappling hook at the lantern."
"I'm on it." said Mabel.
"Mabel..." began Mrs. Pines.
Mabel fired her grappling hook destroying the lantern and the window.
"Mabel Pines!" cried Mrs. Pines angrily.
"It worked..." said Mabel softly.
"It's fine dudes. I had no problem fixing it." said Soos.
Outside, Stan was shown entering the Shack.
"Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked?" concluded Dipper.
Stan punched a code into the vending machine which moved and revealed a secret passage. Stan entered, made sure nobody had seen him, and closed the entrance behind him.
"And what was that?" asked Mr. Pines.
"And how did we never notice that?" asked Wendy.
"I guess it's confession time." sighed Stan.
Before he could continue, Stan was cut off by his twin.
"I wrote the journals." stated Ford.
"I think we could figure that out after you talked about that bereavement jam." said Shermie.
"I came to Gravity Falls to study the weirdness of the town, but...
Stan could see how uncomfortable his brother was.
"He had to leave for a while so I took his place." said Stan.
"Maybe we should keep watching and not cover everything at once. Then we don't get overwhelmed." proposed McGucket.
"The hillbilly thinks has ideas." scoffed Robbie.
Wendy shot Robbie a glare.
"I think it's a good idea, Fiddleford." said Ford.
McGucket smiled at this.
"I think that's a good idea. I'm trying to process what just happened, it might be better not to have everything dumped on us at once." said Mr. Pines.
"I definitely want to see more." added Shermie.
Shermie looked over at his brothers.
"Okay, but we not ignoring this." said Mrs. Pines.
A/N: And that is the end of chapter one. The Soothsquitos and the backstory of the bereavement jam are canon. Just a warning, there will be long gaps in-betweenn chapters since this is a lot to do. I am now starting the next chapter as this is posted. Please review.